Secret Passages
by MantaI-305Apollo'sChariot
Summary: When sixteen-year-old Elsa is told about the secret passages throughout the castle, she uses them as an escape from her room. After the shipwreck, Elsa is devastated, and she still doesn't know how to fix everything with her sister. Once we reach Coronation Day, we trace the movie events from Elsa's POV, filling in plot holes along the way. NOW COMPLETE.:)
1. Happy Birthday, Elsa?

**A/N: Thank you for clicking on my story!:) If anyone is particularly concerned about it, this will stay in canon, but end on a happy note. So...yeah.:) Also, I'll probably update this story a little more sporadically than my other one; not because I don't have more ready to publish, but because I have to figure out where to split the chapters.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Frozen characters, obviously.**

Sixteen-year-old Elsa sat in the window seat in her room, gazing out the window. _My eighth birthday without Anna. Years and years of this room, all because of one accident. All because of my stupid ability…or disability, if I listen to Mom and Dad._ She looked down at her gloved hands in distaste. Just then, a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. It wasn't Anna's usual rhythmic knock, so it was probably her parents. Elsa sighed and slowly walked over to the door, waiting for whoever it was to identify themselves.

"Elsa? It's your parents," King Agdar said.

Elsa unlocked her door and promptly headed for the opposite side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

King Agdar and Queen Idun came in, looking far too cheery in Elsa's opinion. "Since it's your sixteenth birthday, we thought you might have anything you want in honor of the occasion," Idun said.

_Anything?_ "I want to see Anna," Elsa mumbled softly.

"What did you say?" Idun asked.

"I want to see Anna," Elsa repeated, a bit louder this time. "She could stay out in the hall even, and I'll stay way over here by the window. It's been so long…I just want to talk to her…"

"Now, Elsa, you know we cannot do that," Agdar said. "It's too dangerous. Isn't there anything else you would like?"

"I haven't frozen a single thing in almost a week. I'm trying to conceal it, but it's just so _hard_!" Elsa sighed. _What did I expect would happen? Of course they were going to say no…it's probably just as well, I suppose. What if I lost control in front of Anna?_ "I suppose I would like some new books and more paper for drawing blueprints?" One of Elsa's favorite pastimes was drawing up blueprints for imaginary buildings. She had a large collection of blueprints she'd drawn up in her desk, all different and unique.

Idun frowned. "What kind of birthday presents are those? You can just have those things anytime."

"Since I can't see Anna, those are the only things I want," Elsa said flatly. "May I please be excused?" (This was a rather illogical question, as this was already Elsa's room, but she was hoping her parents would get the message and leave her alone.)

"Well, we have one thing to share with you, even if you don't want it," Agdar replied.

Elsa looked at her father expectantly but said nothing.

"This is something that you are to tell no one. It is a secret known only by the royal family."

_Who do you think I'm going to tell alone in my room? My reflection in the mirror? The one person I would possibly blab to I'm not even allowed to talk to._ "I can keep a secret," Elsa answered, struggling to maintain control.

"We know you can keep a secret," Idun said, trying to reassure Elsa. "The secret is this: there are secret passages throughout the castle for escape purposes, sieges, and other things of that sort. Now that you are sixteen, you're old enough to know."

Elsa listened with interest. Secret passages were something new. _If no one but my parents and me know about them, maybe I can use them to get out of this room sometimes, even if I'm still alone all the time._

"Here are the plans for the passages," Agdar said, crossing the room to give the plans to Elsa.

"Don't come any closer!" Elsa's voice sounded panicky. _Too close…too close. _She could feel the ice threatening to slip out unbidden. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa took a deep breath and said, "Could you just leave it on the desk? Please?"

Agdar sighed and set the plans on the desk. "They're on the desk, Elsa. Once you have memorized the plans, burn them. Don't keep them."

"I won't. May I _please_ be excused now?"

"Elsa, I…" Agdar began to say something, but Idun laid a hand on his shoulder and lightly shook her head.

Elsa gave her mother a grateful look before her parents left the room. The instant they were gone and the door shut, Elsa ran to lock it. Meetings with her parents always felt tense even when she was temporarily in control; Elsa always felt on edge, as if she might do something wrong any moment. And she didn't like being around people-she might hurt them, which she knew was the reason she wasn't allowed to see Anna. Elsa sat down at her desk and began to peruse the plans to the secret passages. _There's an entrance to one of them right here in my room! I can explore the passages without actually leaving my room!_ Before thinking any further whether this was a good idea or not, she pulled the comfy chair out of the corner and consulted the plans to see how to open the passage's entrance. _Let's see…it says there's an irregularity in the molding that you press simultaneously with the bottom of the wall directly below it._ Elsa struggled to find the tiny irregularity with her gloved fingers. _Stupid things, I can't even get my fingers to work right,_ she thought. _Maybe if I take them off just for a minute, it would be all right…_ She slipped the glove off her right hand and just stared at her pale skin for a moment. _I haven't seen that part of me in ages. Well, back to the original mission-find that irregularity!_ Elsa's bare fingers quickly located the irregularity and she opened the secret door, revealing the dark passage beyond. She slipped her glove back on and went to find a candle and matches. Then she crawled into the passage, bringing the plans with her as a map. A couple feet into the passage, the ceiling rose high enough for her to stand up. Elsa felt as if she were going on an adventure in her own home. Using the plans as a guide, she went through a series of twists and turns, down a long staircase, crawled down a long tunnel; and once the ceiling grew taller again, a few more turns, ending at the secret entrance into the passages that was behind the throne in the Great Hall. She debated for a few minutes whether to open the secret entrance, but immediately decided against it when she heard her parents' voices. Elsa couldn't hear everything distinctly, but it was enough to give her a clear picture of what they were talking about.

"…seriously consider a betrothal for Elsa," she heard her father say. "We have already…several proposals from…"

"…only sixteen. Elsa isn't… Also, what about…problem?" she heard her mother reply.

"Surely…way to cure her…come of age…five years…"

Elsa suddenly didn't want to hear this conversation anymore. She'd heard too much already. _I don't want to be betrothed to anyone! I can't! I'm too young, and there's still the ice problem. If there were a way to 'fix' me, they would have found it by now. There is no way to get rid of it-I'm stuck with it! And why is it all right to betroth me to someone I don't even know when I'm not even allowed to talk to Anna? That doesn't even make sense!_ As Elsa's thoughts raced, ice began to spread under her feet. Elsa backed right into the side of the secret passage and fell with a thud, extinguishing her candle. _There goes my six-day record of not freezing anything. _She struggled to find another match in the pitch dark. Elsa heard her parents saying something about where that thud had come from. _Oh no. I'm going to be in big trouble if they find me here._ Finally, Elsa was able to relight the candle, and she rushed back to her room as fast as she could. When she arrived back in her room, she quickly shut the secret entrance and pushed the comfy chair back in front of it. Then Elsa studied the rest of the plans, putting them to memory. Just as she decided that she was ready to dispose of the plans, she heard another knock on her door. This wasn't Anna's knock either, and her parents were still in the Great Hall as far as she knew, so it had to be Gerda. No one else would be knocking on Elsa's door.

Elsa shoved the plans into the back of her desk and went to the door. "Hello, Gerda," she said through the door.

"How did you know it was me, Princess Elsa?" Gerda asked from the other side of the door.

"Deductive reasoning."

"Please open the door; I've brought you a special birthday lunch."

Elsa unlocked the door and retreated to the opposite side of the room. "It's open."

Gerda came in and set Elsa's lunch on the desk, knowing Elsa didn't want anyone near her. "Happy birthday, Princess Elsa."

_Icky birthday is more like it. _Elsa shook her head with irritation at herself. _Mom and Dad would be really mad if they knew I was coming up with…not-so-nice thoughts like that._

"Are you doing ok?" Gerda asked.

"I suppose…I lost my six-day record this morning, though," Elsa said, knowing Gerda was referring to her powers. Gerda was one of the only people who knew about it besides Elsa herself and her parents.

"Well, six days is good! Maybe you can make it to seven this time," Gerda said.

_It won't matter. I still won't be allowed to see Anna._ "Maybe," Elsa replied dejectedly. "Thank you for lunch, Gerda."

Gerda knew Elsa wanted her to leave, so she did, shutting the door behind her.

Elsa pulled the plans back out and burned them to ashes before sitting down to eat her lunch. Those plans were thoroughly etched into her memory now.

* * *

Two hours later, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on her door. "Elsa? I know you're in there. Are you listening?" Anna asked.

_Yes,_ Elsa thought. _I'm listening, Anna._ Part of Elsa loved hearing Anna's voice, as it was the only contact she had with her sister, even if it was one-sided; but another part of her hated it since it just reminded her of being unable to spend any time with or communicate with Anna.

"Well, whether you're listening or not, I'll just talk anyway. I slid down the banister today and I might have kinda sorta busted one of those suits of armor at the bottom of the stairs. It was funny but it made a big mess! It took forever to figure out how it went back together again."

Elsa smiled on the other side of the door.

"Are you having cake for lunch, Elsa? You should be 'cause it's your birthday. Oh, yeah, by the way, happy birthday, Elsa! What presents did you get? I miss you. Can't I see you just for today since it's your birthday?"

_No, you can't. I already asked._ Elsa's eyes filled with tears. _Stop it, Elsa! Get a grip on yourself. Don't feel, don't feel._ "Please go away, Anna."

Anna was disappointed for a moment at Elsa's reply, but then thought, _She actually said something today! Even if it was just to tell me to go away._ Maybe Anna could get Elsa to at least talk to her through the door. "No, I'm not going away! I know you're listening, Elsa." Anna had a sudden idea. Maybe Elsa's door was just shut, not locked, and she could just come in whether Elsa invited her or not. "I'm coming in, Elsa!"

Elsa frowned. That door was locked…wasn't it? A second too late, Elsa realized she hadn't locked the door after Gerda had left earlier. Anna eagerly barged in, and Elsa backed against the far wall, hands clasped to her chest. "Anna…please, you have to go."

"You don't look sick." Anna stared at Elsa. "Or dangerous." _Elsa grew up…a lot. She looks pretty. And depressed. And scared._

"Wh-wh-where did you get those ideas about me?" Elsa asked. Anna moved closer to her. "Don't touch me! Stay away!"

"Our parents," Anna said, stopping in the center of the room. "They told me you were sick, and that you weren't safe to be around."

"Well, they're half right. I'm not sick, but it's _not_ safe for you to be around me. Anna, please go!" Elsa was unaware of the decreasing temperature in the room. "And I'm going to be in big trouble if our parents find out I let you in here," she added in a whisper.

Anna narrowed her eyes at her sister. Elsa was trying to be impassive, but her blue eyes betrayed her true sad and scared feelings. Anna suddenly realized it was downright cold in Elsa's room. She shivered. "Is it just me, or is it getting kinda cold in here? And Elsa, why would you get in trouble? I just barged in; you didn't let me in."

Elsa's eyes grew wide. _I must have messed with the temperature again._ "Anna, please, you have to go! _Please._"

Anna sensed the urgency in Elsa's voice. "Ok, but I'm coming back. I'm never, ever giving up on you!"

The moment Anna was out the door, Elsa dashed to lock it, leaving an icy trail wherever she walked. _I'm going to be in so much trouble for that. How could I forget to lock the door?! _

"Elsa?" Anna said from the other side of the door. "I don't know what the problem is, but I'm going to try to fix it for you."

_You can't fix it, Anna. Nobody can._

"I'm going to talk to our parents at dinner tonight. This is the dumbest situation ever, and it's not fair! Why did they lie to me and say you were sick anyway?" Anna sounded mad now.

_No, Anna, don't do that! It won't change anything. And they said that because they couldn't very well say, 'Oh, your sister blasted you in the head with ice when you were five, so she's dangerous.' _Elsa's melancholy thoughts made the temperature drop even lower in her room.

"Elsa? Why is there a really cold draft coming from under your door?" Anna stuck her fingers under Elsa's door.

_Oh, no. _Elsa curled up in a ball on her bed just to get herself off the floor. Hopefully Anna wouldn't be able to touch the icy streaks all over the floor.

"By the way, I'm so glad I got to see you even if we didn't have a real conversation. Oh, bother, I have to go. Mom's calling me to do lessons. Bye, Elsa!"

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _Bye, Anna._

* * *

That evening at dinner in the dining hall, Anna decided to talk to their parents, like she'd told Elsa she would. "So, Mom, Dad, I've got something to talk to you about."

"You always have something to talk about, Anna," Idun told her, smiling. "What is it this time?"

"It's Elsa."

Agdar and Idun exchanged glances. "What about Elsa?" Agdar asked.

"Elsa's not sick. Why did you tell me she was sick? And I don't believe she's dangerous, either! She's my sister, for goodness sakes. What Elsa _did_ look like was sad and scared. She shouldn't feel like that, especially on her birthday. Why can't we spend time together anymore?"

"What makes you suddenly think she's not sick?" Idun asked.

"She told me so! I went in her room earlier-and before you say anything, Elsa did NOT let me in! I just barged in myself," Anna said, remembering how Elsa had told her she'd get in trouble for letting Anna in.

"The door wasn't locked?" Idun asked.

"Weell…noo…And it was really cold in Elsa's room. Which is really weird 'cause it's summertime! Anyway, you ought to put a heater or something in there for Elsa-she's going to get cold," Anna said.

"Do not go in your sister's room again, Anna," Agdar said sternly, not addressing Anna's comments about the temperature in Elsa's room. "It's not safe, no matter what you might think."

"I don't care! I want to actually spend time with and talk to Elsa again! And I don't believe you OR Elsa when you all say it's not safe for me to be around her! It's _stupid_! You act like you think Elsa has some contagious disease or something! She wouldn't even let me near her. She kept saying, 'Go away! Don't touch me!' and stuff like that. This is RIDICULOUS! Elsa's terrified for some reason, and I WANT TO KNOW WHY!" Anna's voice rose in pitch and volume until she was shouting.

"That is not acceptable dinner behavior, Anna. Stop shouting. Go upstairs to your room right now," Agdar told her.

"Oh, fine, so you can lock ME in MY room, just like you do to Elsa! She doesn't even come down for dinner anymore, not even on her birthday!" Anna shoved her chair away from the table and stomped upstairs. "THIS IS NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR!" Anna marked each word with a vicious stomp up the stairs. She stopped in front of Elsa's door and banged on it.

Elsa jumped in surprise. That was most definitely not Anna's knock, but she knew it had to be Anna because she'd been able to hear a little of the dining hall argument, Anna had been shouting so loud. _I'm so going to get it for this. I wish Anna hadn't said anything at all._

"Elsa! I TRIED, but they wouldn't LISTEN! It's not FAIR! It's not; it's NOT! They wouldn't tell me ANYTHING! You're NOT dangerous, I just know it!"

Elsa flinched with Anna's each shouted word. _Anna, please stop. You're only going to make it worse._ Elsa couldn't take it anymore; she ran into her bathroom and shut that door to block out some of the noise.

Anna continued her rant, "And they LIED to me! You're not sick!"

Elsa sat crying in the bathroom. _Go away, Anna. Stop yelling; you'll just get us both in worse trouble. _

A minute later, Elsa heard Anna's incessant shouting stop. _I bet our parents came upstairs._ Elsa left the bathroom and went back into her actual room, ice following her footsteps. A sharp rap on her door and an "Elsa there's something we need to discuss" confirmed her suspicions. Elsa wiped the tears off her face and unlocked the door. "The door is unlocked," she said in her best indifferent voice as she headed to the opposite side of the room.

"What is going on with you and Anna today?" Agdar asked the moment he and Idun came in. "I said earlier it was too dangerous for you two to be together. Yet Anna comes to dinner and starts shouting about things, and saying we lied to her. You were not supposed to let Anna in here."

_Well, you DID lie to her. I'm not sick… I knew this was going to happen. Anna's right; this isn't fair. I might be dangerous, but I could talk to her through the door._ Suddenly Elsa felt something she hadn't felt in a long, long while. She was angry. "I didn't let Anna in," she said. "Anna came in herself."

"Why wasn't the door locked?"

"I forgot to lock it after Gerda brought my lunch earlier. And to be quite honest, I'm _not_ sick. Why did you tell Anna that anyway?"

"Queens-to-be cannot afford to be forgetful! You're sixteen, Elsa. That's old enough to take responsibility for your actions. And look at this room-there are icy streaks and puddles all over it. This is why you cannot see Anna! Do we have to change the locks so that they're on the outside of the door instead of inside?"

Something inside Elsa snapped. _You want to actually lock me in here. Like I'm in a cage. _"What do you think I've been dealing with the last several years?! I've been _taking responsibility_ for one incident all this time! I didn't ask for these…these powers! I don't even want them! Why was I born like this anyway? I make one mistake and then have to pay for it forever." Icicles began to spread on the ceiling as Elsa continued, "I _hate_ this. And Anna's right-this isn't fair. Why can't we even talk through the door or something? It's not safe for her to be around me, yes; but we could still at least…talk to each other." Elsa's eyes began to well with tears once again as her anger dissipated. _I just exploded at Mom and Dad. Not a good move, Elsa._ She backed farther away and whispered, "I'm sorry I exploded like that…I just…just…" Elsa collapsed onto the floor and burst into tears. _I can't deal with this anymore. I wish I could run away. Somewhere where there isn't anyone around. I'd be free from all this. _Then, a moment later, _What a foolish, childish idea, Elsa. You can't run from this. You're heir to Arendelle's throne._

Agdar and Idun had never seen Elsa so distraught. "Just leave her be right now," Idun whispered.

"She's ravaging this whole room!" Agdar whispered back, gesturing at the spreading ice on the ceiling and floor. "It'll take ages for it to melt."

"Agdar, she's upset! And technically she's right-we did lie to Anna."

"_Elsa can't afford to get upset!_ She does THIS whenever she does because of that disability of hers. No blueprint drawing for Elsa for one week," Agdar decided.

"You can't take that away from her! She does that all the time."

"All the more reason. She can practice containing those powers of hers instead. Elsa?" he said, raising his voice so Elsa could hear him.

Elsa raised her head and looked up at her parents.

"No blueprint drawing for a week."

_I will not beg. I won't. I'll go in the secret passages instead._ "Fine," Elsa replied. _This isn't fair._ She stood up and took a few shuddering breaths. "Good night. I'm going to get ready for bed." Elsa turned her back and began digging in her closet, hoping they would just leave. She sighed in relief when she heard her door shut. After Elsa put on her nightgown, she tumbled into bed and dove under the covers. _What a rotten, rotten day._


	2. A Taste of Freedom

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!:)**

**Lindstrom-Thank you! I have a pet peeve with grammar errors, so I'm very pleased to know my writing isn't full of them. Lol:) That's exactly what I thought-there is _no way_ either Elsa or Anna were putting up with that situation with no questions asked. I've been wondering since the first time I saw the movie why couldn't they talk through the door or something? Or at least tell Anna what was going on? Or pass notes under the door back and forth? It makes no sense whatsoever.:P**

**artsoccer-I promise this is going to end on a happy note:)**

**Troubledgirl87-Glad you like my story even if you hate Agdar;) (Personally I think Elsa's and Anna's parents were pretty stupid...um...*whistles innocently since I'm a teenager too and therefore most likely biased in favor of Elsa and Anna*:))**

The next morning, Elsa awoke to the sound of a knock on her door. "Go away, please."

"Princess Elsa, I have breakfast for you," Gerda said.

_Oh no, I must have overslept._ Elsa jumped out of bed and splashed through the meltwater all over the floor to the door. "It's unlocked." _Good grief, I made such a mess in here yesterday._

Gerda took one look at the room and knew what had happened. She'd heard Anna's yelling the night before. "Where would you like your breakfast, Princess Elsa? I'll get this room cleaned up in no time."

"On the desk. I'm really sorry about…the mess. I'll help mop it up. I… completely lost it last night." _That's the understatement of the year._

"Did you get in trouble for Anna barging in here? The truth, now," Gerda said when she saw Elsa shut her eyes and start shaking her head.

"I'm not allowed to draw any blueprints for a week. I suppose I deserve it-Anna got in because I forgot to lock the door." _Although...if I was allowed to just _talk_ to Anna in the first place, it wouldn't have happened because we would have been talking through the door..._

Gerda frowned. She'd seen some of Elsa's blueprints, and they were careful, precise, and looked real. They may as well have been lesson assignments; after all, calculations and math were needed to make accurate blueprints. _What a dumb punishment. Drawing blueprints is basically lessons, except that they're fun. For Elsa, anyway._ "Well, I have to go wake up Anna. Then I'll be right back to mop up all the water."

"Would you give Anna something for me? I want to give her this," Elsa said, holding out one of her favorite blueprint drawings, which was a floor plan of the entire castle that she'd drawn up from memory. "Just tell her not to show our parents…I don't know if they would approve or not…"

"I'm sure Anna will be pleased to have it. Are you sure you want to give Anna this one, though? I know you spent a lot of time on it," Gerda said.

"I can always draw another one. If I can't see or talk to Anna, the least I can do is give her something I spent time on. Please?" _Maybe it'll help Anna understand when I don't reply to her again…_

"All right, princess. I'll be right back."

Elsa locked the door the moment Gerda was in the hall. _I won't forget to lock that door again._ She splashed over to her closet and changed out of her nightgown. Then she brushed out her hair and put it back in its braided bun. Elsa sat down to eat her pancake breakfast. _I'm going outside later. To the forest behind the castle where that passage ends. There won't be anyone out there, so it'll be fine. I won't hurt anyone._

* * *

"Elsa didn't get in trouble for what I did yesterday, did she?" Anna asked when Gerda finally woke her up. "Although I don't think I did anything wrong…well, maybe I shouldn't have yelled at Mom and Dad."

"She isn't allowed to draw any blueprints for a week," Gerda told Anna.

"Not _allowed_ to draw blueprints? That doesn't sound like much of a punishment," Anna said, sounding pleased. "Don't you have to do a ton of math and calculation stuff to make a good one?"

"Princess Anna, your sister likes drawing blueprints. She does that for fun all the time. Believe me, that is a serious punishment to her," Gerda said. "Princess Elsa wanted me to give you this, along with the message that you are not supposed to show your parents because she wasn't sure if they would approve." Gerda handed Anna Elsa's castle floor plans.

"Elsa…drew this whole thing? For fun? She even put in details in some of the rooms!" Anna looked at the drawing, loving it because it was from Elsa, and because Elsa had actually _made_ it. "How did she make this when she doesn't ever leave her room?"

"Your sister has a near photographic memory. She just used her memories of the castle to do the drawing part, and then asked me for a few main dimensional measurements to do the rest of it. Princess Elsa likes geometry, in case you couldn't tell." Gerda smiled at Anna.

"_I HAVE A PRESENT FROM ELSA!_" Anna whisper-screamed.

* * *

After Elsa finished eating her breakfast, she helped Gerda mop up the water all over the floor. "Thank you for helping clean up all the mess. I know it must get tiresome after I've done that about a hundred thousand times over."

"Now Princess Elsa, you have _not_ frozen your room a hundred thousand times," Gerda said, continuing mopping.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have done it 99,999 times over then," Elsa said. _That was not a princess-y thing to say, Elsa. You are not supposed to be sarcastic, even in jest._ "Sorry Gerda…I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to…make a joke? It didn't work. It fell flat."

"Why should you apologize for making a joke, princess? Goodness knows you should be allowed to think of funny things sometimes." Gerda knew Elsa's sense of humor usually involved one or more of three things: 1) wordplay or puns, 2) a numbers joke of some kind, or 3) making fun of herself. This time Elsa had managed to involve all three.

"I was being a little sarcastic…I'm not supposed to act like that."

"Look at me, Princess Elsa. You weren't 'acting like' anything. Personally I did not find your joke funny, but only because you were picking on yourself in the process. You need to stop thinking ill of yourself." Gerda would have said a lot more about the whole thing, but she didn't think it was her place to do so.

"I need to stop thinking ill of myself? But what about my… my _problem_? My d-d-d-disability?" Elsa's voice began to quaver.

"Who told you that you had a disability?" Gerda asked, although she was fairly certain she knew the answer.

"My ears told me," Elsa whispered. "Your sense of hearing becomes acute when it is your only connection with anything outside your room for years. I've heard mother and father talking…"

"Princess Elsa. You do _not_ have a disability. That is a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities. You have-"

Elsa's sad blue eyes flashed. "And that describes me to a T. My sense of touch is constrained constantly," she said, holding up her gloved hands. "And I'm isolated in my room all the time because of the whole thing. The defense rests." _You interrupted Gerda. You should apologize, even if you don't agree with her, even if you know she's wrong._ "I'm…sorry for interrupting."

"Apology accepted." Gerda wondered how to comfort Elsa; sometimes she was too perceptive for her own good. "Princess, I'll concede that is one way to look at it, but I believe your powers are a special ability that helps make you _you_."

_If THAT'S true, then I hate myself,_ Elsa thought. She didn't dare voice that opinion aloud.

"And I don't know how or when, but someday you WILL be able to control them and it WILL be a special gift."

"But I can't control it-I don't know how!" _And Elsa, you'll never be anything more than a shut away, abnormal freak._ Elsa thought she hadn't said the last sentence aloud, but she had.

"Princess Elsa, did I just hear you call yourself an abnormal freak?" Gerda asked sternly.

"Y-y-you heard that?" Elsa stammered.

"Yes, I did. Don't call yourself nasty, untrue names like that." Gerda finished the last bit of mopping the floor.

"It _is_ true!" Elsa felt herself starting to lose control again. _Conceal, don't feel… conceal, don't feel…_ "Gerda, thank you for helping me clean up the mess. Will you please…you know…" Elsa nodded toward the door.

"Yes, Princess Elsa. I have a job for you till lunchtime." Gerda hoped she wasn't pressing her place with her proposition.

"A job?" Elsa was puzzled. _What sort of job could I do in my room?_

"Yes. You need to think of one thing you like about yourself or something you think you're good at, and tell it to me when I come back. Good-bye, Princess Elsa." Gerda left and shut the door.

Elsa ran to lock it. _Something I like about myself or something I think I'm good at…hmm…_ She decided to pass the time by finishing solving the magic square of numbers she'd started several days before. _And after lunch, I am going outside to the forest._

* * *

At eleven AM, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on her door. "Hi, Elsa! Thanks for the cool drawing. I can't believe you drew that whole thing mostly from memory. Gerda told me you like drawing blueprints for fun. I'm sorry I got you in trouble yesterday…I didn't mean to. I know I made it so you couldn't draw blueprints for a week. Will you forgive me?"

_I forgive you. I just hope you can forgive me for ignoring you. Oh, Anna, please understand why I'm not replying to you…please…_ Elsa thought.

"Elsa? Can you just say 'yes' or 'no'? Pretty please? I gotta know if you're mad at me or not. I promise I won't try to barge in your room again."

_I can't answer you, Anna. I'm not mad at you. And don't worry; you won't get in even if you do try to barge in. The door is locked._ The last sentence bounced around in Elsa's mind. _The door is locked…the door is locked…locked door…door locked…is the door locked…the door is locked…locked…locked…locked…you're locked in…Anna's locked out…the door…is locked…_ Elsa shook her head, trying to clear her scrambled thoughts. _Or are _you_ locked out and _Anna_ is the one who's locked in? You're the one who's locked _out_ from anywhere and anything outside your room. Anna's the one who's locked _in_ the castle, even though she can run freely anywhere inside it. Good grief, Elsa, you must be crazy. Who cares whether it is called locked _in_ or locked _out_, or who is locked _in_ or locked _out_? In this case, both possibilities are each as bad as the other._ Elsa frowned; her own introspection was confusing her.

"Pleeeease? Just one word? I'll be super happy if you just tell me you're not mad at me."

Elsa abandoned her musings about locked in vs. locked out. _I did tell you, Anna, in my own lousy way. Please just think and understand. The drawing is for you. To tell you that I _do_ care, no matter how much I shut you out._ Elsa blinked back tears.

"Ok, I guess you're not going to say anything. I'm going to come back later, though. Thanks again for the drawing! Bye, Elsa!"

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _Bye, Anna._

* * *

At noon, Elsa finally put the last number in her magic square. _I did it! It's finished. Top row 8, 18, 16. Middle row 22, 14, 6. Bottom row 12, 10, 20. _She quickly checked to see if the figures added up equally in all directions. _It checks vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. Everything adds up to 42._ Elsa smiled, pleased with her problem-solving skills. "Just a moment, please," she said when she heard Gerda say she'd brought Elsa her lunch. Elsa unlocked the door and retreated to the other side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

Gerda came in and set Elsa's lunch on the desk. "So, what did you come up with for your little job assignment, Princess Elsa?"

"Well…I think I am fairly good at math tricks. Does that count?" Elsa asked.

"Certainly. And what made you think of that?"

"I made up a magic square that actually works on my own. It checks completely. It's on that paper on the desk if you would like to see it," Elsa replied.

Gerda looked at the paper. "Princess Elsa, if you made this up all on your own, you aren't 'fairly good' at math tricks. You're 'VERY good' at math tricks. Now come dinnertime, you tell me another thing, all right?"

"I'll try. Thank you for bringing my lunch, Gerda," Elsa said.

* * *

Elsa ate her lunch quickly after Gerda left the room (and Elsa had relocked the door). _I'm going outside today! I'm really going to do it!_ After she had finished eating, she lit a candle and crawled through the secret entrance into the labyrinth of secret passages. _I have to be very careful that I don't lose my way. There is no map to orient myself this time._ She closed her eyes, picturing the secret passages' map in her head. _This way_, she decided. Elsa carefully made her way through the maze of tunnels, passages, stairs, and chutes toward the secret door opening to the forest behind the castle. Soon she reached the door. Elsa paused, her hand on the hidden switch that slid the door up. _I'm really doing this! I'm going to be outside for the first time in years!_ Pulse racing; adrenaline coursing through her, Elsa pushed the switch and the door slid up. Elsa stepped through the door and it clicked down behind her. She set the candle next to the entrance so she could easily find it again. _Outside, outside! I'm outside! _Sunlight danced through the trees. Elsa saw a small clearing a little ways into the forest with a creek bubbling through it. She ran into the clearing and turned her face upwards, basking in the sun's rays shining down on her, even though she couldn't actually feel their warmth. _I love it out here. Nothing matters to me right now. Nothing! It's just me and the trees and the sun and the water._ Happy tears ran down Elsa's face. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…wait. Not right now, Elsa. You're happy. Surely it's all right to feel that. You can dump that stolid, phlegmatic self, just for a little while._ Elsa flopped on the ground next to the creek and just watched the water flow for a while. _I want to touch the water…really touch it…without freezing it._ She debated the idea for a few minutes and decided she'd better not. _Too risky. I'd be found out instantly if I froze the creek in the middle of summer._ Elsa turned over on her back and watched the clouds overhead contentedly. _I'm free from worries, free from cares… I wish I could stay out here forever. _Soon, Elsa was so relaxed she fell asleep there next to the creek, lying in the sun.

_Winter…snow falling…no wait, it's summertime. _Elsa floated off in a dream. _"No, silly, it's December!" five-year-old Anna said. "Almost Christmas and MY birthday!"_

_ "December? I thought it was July," eight-year-old Elsa said._

_ "You're funny! Why would it snow in July?" Anna giggled._

_ "Me, of course!" little Elsa replied, showering Anna with snowflakes._

_ "Oh, oh, yeah! Again, again! Make snowy icy towers to jump on!"_

_ Elsa laughed and agreed. Anna jumped from one tower to the next, as fast as Elsa made them. Anna began to jump faster. "Wait, slow down!" Elsa exclaimed._

_ Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making a mound of soft powdery snow. "ANNA!"_

_ "That was awesome!" Anna shrieked, shaking snow out of her hair._

_ "Oh, thank goodness you're all right!" Elsa said, running to Anna and holding her tight._

_**REWIND**_

_ Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making another icy tower, but she missed and hit Anna instead. "ANNA!"_

_ Anna gasped and fell to the floor, unconscious. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"_

_ "It was an accident! I'm sorry, Anna…"_

_ Accident…accident…accident…_ The word echoed again and again.

_**REWIND**_

_ Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and simply screamed. "ANNA!"_

_ Anna fell to the floor limply. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"_

_ "I didn't do anything!" Elsa cried in horror. "She jumped and-"_

_ "You should have caught her with your powers! You should have done something! Your five-year-old sister is dead because you stood by and did nothing!" the king interrupted._

_ Eight-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed._

_**REWIND**_

_Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making another icy tower, but she missed and hit Anna instead. "ANNA!"_

_ Anna gasped and fell to the floor. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"_

_ "It was an accident! I'm sorry, Anna…"_

_ "You shouldn't have tried to catch her your powers! You shouldn't have been playing with your powers in the first place! They're dangerous! Your five-year-old sister is dead, frozen solid, because of your actions," the king interrupted._

_ Eight-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed._

_**FLASH FORWARD**_

_ Sixteen-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed. "Why am I always wrong no matter what I do? Anna gets hurt or killed whether I do nothing, or if I try to help!"_

_ "Remember me?" Five-year-old Anna tapped Elsa on the shoulder. Elsa turned to look at her._

_ "Wait, why are you still little? You're supposed to be thirteen!"_

_ "You're supposed to be eight!" little Anna said. "Anyway, I don't care how old you are. You're my big sister Elsa and I love you!" Little Anna threw her arms around Elsa and hugged her close._

_ "Don't hug me! I'm dangerous! I froze you!" Elsa said, trying to push little Anna away._

_ "Not in happy dreamland you didn't!" Little Anna continued holding Elsa tight._

_ "And in real life I'm alive and well," a thirteen-year-old Anna said._

_ Elsa looked to see what the new voice was. "Two Annas?!" She turned to older Anna._

_ "No, Elsa! Just me. Do you want to build a snowman?" thirteen-year-old Anna asked._

_ "Yes…but I can't! Don't you understand? I'm dangerous! I froze you! I almost killed you!"_

_ "I don't care. You didn't do that on purpose. You tried to catch me. I love you, Elsa. You're my sister, and don't you forget that." Older Anna ran to Elsa and gave her a hug._

_ "Don't hug me! I might hurt you again! I have to run away from here! I think Mom and Dad must hate me."_

_ "Our parents can't possibly hate you, Elsa. Even if they do, I sure don't. I'll run away with you!"_

_ "My powers, Anna! I can't control them! You can't run away with your disabled sister! It's not safe!" Elsa cried._

_ "Elsa, I want to come with you anyway. We can just run off by ourselves. Maybe out in the forest! Or up the North Mountain!"_

A bright flash appeared.

_"See? We're free here!" Anna grabbed Elsa's bare hand and ran through the snow in the forest._

Another bright flash appeared.

_"We're free here too!" Anna grabbed Elsa's bare hand as they stood on the summit of the North Mountain._

_ Suddenly, Anna disappeared, leaving Elsa all alone on the mountain. "Anna? Anna?! Where are you?"_

* * *

In real life, Elsa abruptly jerked awake. _What was all that? What a weird dream…Anna doesn't even know about my powers in real life. I rather wish she did; at least she'd know why I can't be around her. In fact, Anna _should_ know. It should be her right to know…__I wish I could tell her._ Elsa looked around herself, relieved that she was just laying on the grass beside the creek. She looked up at the sky and realized it must be late. The sun was very low in the sky, almost sunset. _I hope I didn't miss dinner._ Elsa jumped up and ran back to the secret entrance. After fumbling to get it back open, she headed as quick as she dared to go without risking getting lost through the passages back to her room.

A minute after Elsa had closed the secret entrance to the passages back in her room, she heard a knock on the door and Gerda saying she had brought Elsa's dinner. _Thank goodness I came back just in time. _Elsa ran to unlock the door, then retreated back to the far side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

Gerda set Elsa's dinner on the desk and then asked, "Did you think of another thing, Princess Elsa?"

_Oops…I forgot. Too much excitement from going outside, I suppose. Wait, I know…_ "I think I'm good at memorizing things." _Like maps for secret passages_, Elsa thought with a smile.

"Good. You can tell me something else tomorrow morning." Gerda looked questioningly at Elsa. "Princess Elsa, your face is red as a beet. It looks like…well, it looks like sunburn…"

Elsa's hands flew to her cheeks, which _were _stinging, now that she thought about it. _Oh no. I fell asleep for who knows how long earlier lying in the sun. Of course I got sunburned…me with my pale skin…_

"Did you go outside or something earlier? It wouldn't have taken much for you to get sunburned with your fair complexion."

Elsa hung her head. "I went out in the forest earlier," she whispered. "I knew there wouldn't be anyone out there, so I thought it would be safe…Are you going to tell on me? I probably shouldn't have done that." Elsa didn't add that she'd been outside all afternoon…sleeping in the sun. Or exactly how she had gotten outside.

"Certainly not! Be careful in the forest, though." _She stays in this room all the time; she should get to go outside anyway,_ Gerda thought. "But I think your face is going to tell on you if your parents see you before the sunburn fades…"

"Could you try to keep them from 'visiting' me till it's gone?" Elsa asked hopefully.

"I can try, but I know there is something they want to discuss with you," Gerda said.

_I bet it's that betrothal thing,_ Elsa thought. "Well, thank you all the same. I know! Would the sunburn pass for a really bad case of blushing?"

"Sorry, Princess Elsa, I think not. You hardly ever blush in the first place, and not to mention, no one blushes on their foreheads," Gerda shook her head.

"Thank you for dinner." Elsa said.

Gerda knew Elsa was politely saying 'please leave', so she left.

As soon as Gerda left and Elsa had locked the door, Elsa went into her bathroom and tried to think of some way to cover up that sunburn. _I'll be in huge trouble if Mom and Dad find out I went outside. _Why had she gone out there anyway? _You went outside because you've been stuck in this room for eight years. That's why. And it was amazing too. It was freedom for a few hours. Sunlight. Trees. Water. Grass. _Elsa's bangs partly hid the sunburn on her forehead, but there wasn't anything else she could do. _You know what, Elsa? Don't worry about it. You went outside and were actually _happy_ for a while. No regrets. Not this time. I suppose I'll just have to be queen of the lobsters for a while. Oh well. _Elsa stuck out her tongue and made faces at her reflection in the mirror. Seeing herself with a bright red face was rather amusing. _Whoa, Elsa, you just stuck out your tongue. Bad girl! You aren't supposed to do that._ She paused in her thoughts for a moment, then continued to herself, _You know what, self? I don't care. I don't care at all. Look, I'm sticking out my tongue! Ooh, that's _so_ terrible!_ Elsa was just in a very perky mood, quite unlike her usual depressed or aloof self. Going outside had lifted her spirits considerably. She pulled her hair down out of its braided bun and let it hang down her back in a single braid. Then she decided to undo the braid too. Elsa's platinum hair cascaded down her back in loose waves. _What if your parents saw you now? They would say you're being scandalous because sixteen-year-olds are just wayyy too old to go around with their down. Except _this_ sixteen-year-old is alone in her room, so who cares? Not me!_ She paraded out of the bathroom and climbed on her bed. Elsa suddenly had the ingenious idea to jump on the bed, something she hadn't done since she was eight. _La la la…look, Princess Elsa is jumping on the bed! _Boing! Boing! Boing! Elsa tired of her loose hair flying in her face, so she stopped bouncing and put it back in a single braid. _Oh, I forgot about my dinner,_ she thought. Elsa sat down at her desk and quickly ate her dinner. _You are definitely going outside again tomorrow Elsa, whether you technically 'should' or not. I haven't been this happy in years. Just this time, I'm taking a hat so I don't get sunburned again._ After she finished eating, Elsa put on her nightgown and curled up in bed with a book.

* * *

Elsa fell asleep with the thought that she hadn't had to try to suppress her powers with 'conceal, don't feel' at all after going outside.

**A/N: So...Elsa's mostly happy at the moment.:) **

**I would really appreciate feedback on Elsa's dream sequence...I meant it to 'make sense but be a bit confusing'...opinions please.:)**

**I'll update again soon! (As in when I figure out where I want my next chapter break:P)**


	3. Reconnection, Just a Little

**A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter than the first two, just because of where it made sense to do a chapter break.:) **

**Thanks to everyone who followed and/or is reading but not reviewing!**

**Lindstrom-Thanks for reviewing again!:) I guess Elsa's dream _was_ easily understandable then because what you said was pretty much what the point of the whole thing was. I'm glad you liked Anna's 'whisper-screaming'.;) It seemed Anna-ish to me, lol. And that's what I think too...Elsa might be scared and upset, but she's not an adult. I don't think she just sat around for thirteen years, resigned to the fate of staying in that room forever with no complaints. Anyway...:/ :P**

The next morning, Elsa awoke in a chipper mood. She pulled on a clean dress and brushed her hair, purposely leaving it in a single braid. "Just a moment," she called when she heard Gerda knock on the door bringing Elsa's breakfast. "The door is unlocked," Elsa said, and retreated to the opposite side of the room. "Good morning," she greeted Gerda after she'd set Elsa's breakfast on the desk.

"Good morning, princess." Gerda said quietly.

"What's the matter?"

Gerda thought for a moment before replying, "Princess Elsa, I hate to ruin your good mood, but your parents are coming to see you between breakfast and lunch. Nothing I said could deter them without sounding suspicious…" _She needs to know…at least she'll be prepared ahead of time._

Elsa's sweet smile disappeared and was replaced with a stony look. "Thank you for telling me."

"It was the least I could do." Gerda started to leave the room, but turned back to say, "Princess Elsa, don't lose your newfound optimism. You're a strong girl. Don't you ever forget that." Gerda left, shutting the door behind her.

Elsa ran to lock it. _Me, a strong girl? I can't even control something that's a physical part of me. _Something else inside her said, _You haven't even had to think about suppressing those powers since you went outside yesterday. You've found a way to help control it. Maybe that weird dream had a point. Away from everything means freedom. It's just that in real life, you can't have Anna with you. I wish… _Elsa sat down on the window seat and gazed outside. She could see the North Mountain towering high in the air, far away, miles away. _I wonder what it's really like on the summit. Oh, Elsa, why are you even thinking that? Like you could really just run away…_

Elsa pulled her thoughts away to the more pressing issue at hand. _Mom and Dad probably want to talk to me about that betrothal thing, which I think is utterly ridiculous. But I can't say that…I'll just point out the fallacies in the whole idea, that it is completely illogical to go through with that when I can't even talk to Anna. They'll see my sunburn and ask about it, I'm sure. About that, I'll just tell the truth. But unless they ask outright, I am _not_ saying how I got outside. They might seal off the exit or something…_

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Elsa heard a knock on her door. "It's your parents," she heard Idun say.

Elsa unlocked the door and returned to the opposite side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

Agdar and Idun came in and shut the door behind them. "We have wonderful news for you…Elsa, what happened to your face? You look…well, I know it is impossible, but…you look sunburned," Agdar said.

"Elsa, what did you do to your hair?" Idun asked.

_Huh, I wonder why you think that it's 'impossible' that I got sunburned. Maybe because you keep me in my room all the time…and it's MY hair, I want it in a braid right now. So there. _Elsa frowned, then realized she was frowning and wiped any expressions off her face she might have had. _No, Elsa, you're not losing control this time. You're staying a blank slate so they don't know what you're thinking._ "What is this 'wonderful news'?" she asked, not addressing the two questions.

"Your betrothal," Agdar said. "Wait, Elsa, you didn't answer two questions."

_I knew it! _"My betrothal? I'm only sixteen," Elsa said. "And I am sunburned, and my hair is just in a single braid."

"How would you have gotten sunburned indoors?" Agdar asked sharply.

"I did not get sunburned indoors," Elsa replied flatly.

"You've been outside, Elsa. You know you're not supposed to do that. How did you get outside past the servants and guards anyway?" Agdar asked. "Wait, you used the secret passages, didn't you?" He wasn't surprised Elsa had memorized the labyrinthine layout of the passages already.

"Yes, I did," Elsa said, her blue eyes flashing. _You're acting like I've committed some horrible crime by going outdoors. _"I only went in the forest, in that little clearing with the creek, though."

"What you did was dangerous, Elsa!"

"For me or everyone else?" Elsa's promise to herself to keep her temper in check was beginning to fail. Elsa knew it probably wasn't a hundred percent safe for a teenage girl to roam the forest alone, but she also knew that Agdar had probably meant her powers made it dangerous for everyone else.

"Don't sass your father, Elsa," Idun said. "And you should put your hair back up."

"Why? Nobody sees me anyway. And I like it better this way." _Shut up, Elsa, you're just going to make things worse for yourself…but it's true all the same…_

"_Elsa!_" Agdar shouted. "I don't know what has gotten into you, but it needs to end right now."

_What's gotten into me?! You ask me that after I've been in this room for eight years, go outside once, then get in trouble for it?!_

"You were wrong to use the secret passages to go outside. What if someone had caught you?"

Elsa steeled herself for what she knew was coming. _It doesn't matter…you can go outside anyway. Dad won't tell anyone else about the passages, so he can't guard the entrance to keep me in. Just as long as he doesn't seal the entrance, it will be fine._

"You are forbidden to go outdoors again. It isn't safe. For anyone, yourself included."

Elsa said nothing. _All right, at least Dad cares what happens to me, I suppose. I'm still going outside, though…I'll just have to be careful. It's one thing that makes me happy._

* * *

That afternoon, Elsa headed outside again via the secret passages. Being outdoors was just as exhilarating for Elsa as it had been the day before. Little did she know someone was watching her from indoors…

Anna glanced out a window that overlooked the forest and did a double take when she saw a slender figure at the edge of the forest. _What young girl would be wandering around out there? Is it even safe?_ Curious, Anna continued looking intently out the window. The girl outside took off her hat and tilted her face toward the sky with a happy smile. Then Anna knew. That face and hair could only belong to one person. _It's Elsa! What's Elsa doing out there?_ And then a moment later, _She's out there because she wanted to get out of her room. That's what she's doing out there. I bet she's not supposed to be doing that, but…Elsa actually looks _happy._ No way am I tattling on her._ Anna continued watching her sister as she touched a tree trunk and headed a bit further to the creek. She watched Elsa kneel by the creek, reach toward the water, then jerk her hand back without actually touching it. Anna frowned. _Good grief, Elsa's out there by herself…why doesn't she just take those gloves off? She obviously wants to touch things…_ Anna decided that Elsa must have a thing about dirt or something.

* * *

Outside, Elsa _did_ want to touch things, but she didn't dare take those gloves off. She didn't trust herself not to freeze something by accident, especially the creek water. And this was not her room; if she left ice outside now and someone found it, it would be very strange. Still, Elsa felt much more in control than she had in years, and Elsa decided that it had to be due to going outside. Elsa knew her powers were growing stronger, ever since she was twelve and she'd accidentally iced her room's wall. It hadn't seemed to matter that she was still wearing gloves; that ice had all come from her feet. And it started randomly showing up more and more when she was upset. _No, Elsa, you're not thinking about that right now. This is your secret freedom time. Go worry in your room later tonight if you have to._ Elsa looked back toward the castle and saw someone peeking out a window. The someone opened the window, pointed outside to Elsa, back at herself, then put a finger over her lips in a 'shhh' gesture. Then the someone made the 'zip the lips and throw away the key' motion. _It's Anna,_ Elsa realized. Elsa smiled back and nodded. _Thank you, Anna._ Elsa walked closer to the castle until she was almost directly below the window. She gestured that they shouldn't talk aloud, but could they communicate via gestures?

Anna was surprised. _Elsa actually WANTS to communicate with me now? _Then, _Of course she does, she evidently doesn't like being close to people for some reason, and she doesn't have to for this._ Noticing Elsa had her hair fixed differently from when Anna had seen her before, Anna motioned to one of her own pigtail braids and then pointed at Elsa.

Elsa smiled. She coiled her single braid into a bun, then frowned and shook her head to say she didn't like it that way. Then she released the braid and smiled again.

Anna nodded to show she understood. She pointed to her own hand and then at Elsa, shrugging and making a 'why?' gesture.

Elsa's smile disappeared. She crossed her arms and shook her head. _I should have known Anna would ask that. Nobody but me wears gloves in the summertime._

Anna thought for a moment, puzzled at Elsa's reaction. She motioned that Elsa should just take them off, then pointed at the forest, hoping Elsa got the message that 'who cares since you're out there by yourself?'

Elsa got Anna's message loud and clear. _Anna thinks it shouldn't matter since I'm out here by myself. But it does matter._ Elsa shook her head more forcefully. _No, no, no, Anna, that is NOT ok. I can't do that._

Anna understood Elsa's meaning, but certainly not the reasons behind it. Anna nodded, saying 'that's ok, we don't have to talk about it'. She pointed at herself and then Elsa before giving herself a hug. _I wish I could give you a hug, _Anna thought.

Tears began streaming down Elsa's face. _Anna wants to give _me_ a hug even though I've been the one shutting her out for eight years? Oh, Anna, I wish I could give you one, too._ Elsa returned Anna's virtual hug, wishing it were possible for her to hug Anna for real. _But I can't._ She waved good-bye to Anna before turning and running headlong into the forest. Unable to see where she was going with her vision blurred by tears, she ran smack into a tree and fell, tearing one glove and painfully cutting her palm in the process. _Oh, great. That was clumsy, Elsa. Not only does that hurt, but now you're going to have to explain how you tore that glove when you were supposedly in your room all day._ Elsa scrambled to her feet and began stumbling back toward the castle and into the secret entrance.

Back inside, Anna was horrified at Elsa's sudden departure, but had to quickly come up with a cover story when her mother came up behind her, asking why the window was open.

"I was...There was a little chick outside and I was talking to it," Anna made up. _Hmm, nice job, Anna. That wasn't even a complete lie._ No way was she tattling on Elsa.

Idun seemed satisfied with Anna's explanation and asked her to please come work on her lessons now.

Anna reluctantly agreed.

* * *

Back in her room, Elsa double-checked that the door was locked before slipping the torn glove off and looking at the stinging cut across her left palm. She tried to remember how Gerda had taken care of her and Anna's minor boo-boos when they were little. _I have to wash it off first, I think. Then put a bandage on it._ Deciding this was what she was going to do whether it was right or not, Elsa pulled a small bucket from under the sink and filled it with water. That way, if she accidentally froze the water, at least she wouldn't freeze the pipes too in the process. _Now come on, Elsa, you've been doing great the last couple of days. Don't freeze the water. _Elsa closed her eyes and plunged her hand into the water. She opened one eye, then the other. _I did it! I TOUCHED THE WATER without freezing it!_ But a moment after she thought that, a thin sheen of ice began forming on the water. Elsa jerked her hand out before it could spread any more. _I guess it was too much to hope for…what did I expect?_ Elsa dumped the water into the tub in disgust. Then she looked under the sink again for something to finish taking care of her hand with. Elsa finally found some cloth bandages and wrapped her cut as best she could. _There, I guess that will have to be good enough._ No way was Elsa going to let Gerda or her mother take care of her hand for her. She'd have to let them touch her, which she didn't think she would allow to happen in a million years; and she didn't want to explain exactly how she'd hurt herself either. Elsa decided to just stuff those gloves in the back of the closet and put on new ones. Nobody would look in her closet but herself, so it wouldn't matter. After that, Elsa flopped on her bed, thinking about her 'conversation' with Anna. _It was so nice to "talk" to Anna. Why did I run off like that? That was so stupid. All I did was give myself a nasty cut in the process and probably totally confuse Anna. _Elsa fingered the bandage under the glove on her left hand. _But Anna doesn't hate me! She's even keeping my going outside a secret. I wish I could tell her thank you._

An hour later, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on the door. "Hi, Elsa! Nobody's out here right now, so I'm gonna say something. I just wanted you to know I won't tell on you for being outside. It'll be our secret. I LOVED having an actual conversation with you, even if we weren't actually talking aloud. You looked so happy outside until you got upset and ran off. Elsa, can you _please_ answer? Puh-lease?"

Elsa wrestled with herself for a moment before impulsively running over to the door and saying, "Anna, please move as far away from my door as possible to the other side of the hallway."

"Ok, I did," Anna replied a moment later.

Elsa cracked her door open to make sure Anna had really moved. Then she opened the door wide and quickly said, "Anna, I love you and I miss you very much. Thank you for not telling on me. And thank you for not…hating me, because I would completely understand if you did. Thank you for knocking on my door. I love you." Then she slammed the door shut and locked it before she could impulsively give Anna a hug. It took all of Elsa's willpower to not reopen that door. _Do NOT open that door again, Elsa. If you give Anna a hug, you might hurt her._

Anna stood right outside Elsa's door in shocked silence. _Elsa talked to me. She talked to me! ELSA TALKED TO ME! _Anna was so excited that she felt like screaming, but she knew she had better not or she'd get them both in trouble again. She mulled over what Elsa had said. _Elsa misses me? Then WHY can't we see and talk to each other anymore? I don't understand…it's like she's being forced to shut me out. But why? And poor Elsa thanked me for _not hating her_? What kind of thank-you is that? Why would she even say a thing like that? That she would 'completely understand' if I did? And of course I knock on her door…_ Anna knew it had been a big deal for Elsa to open that door and say something, even if she had promptly slammed the door shut again right after. "Elsa, thank _you_ for opening that door, even if it was just for a few seconds." She waited for Elsa to say something from the other side of the door, but she didn't.

Elsa stood on the other side of the door, forcing herself not to open that door again. _You can't do that, Elsa. You'll hurt Anna. Opening the door to say those few sentences was bad enough._

"Why in the world would anyone hate you? I could NEVER hate you, Elsa, no matter how long you shut me out. You're my sister. You shouldn't have felt you had to thank me for something like that," Anna said.

_If you only knew,_ Elsa thought. _If you knew what I am and just why I shut you out, you might think differently. I'm the monster who almost killed you when you were five. _"Yes I should have. I had to say thank you," Elsa whispered.

Anna strained to hear Elsa's barely audible words. "If you said what I think you said, you did _not_ have to say thank you, Elsa. And I'll always knock on your door. I'll keep doing it until you let me in."

_You'll be doing it forever then. I'll never be able to let you in, Anna, no matter how much I want to. _Elsa began to cry. "Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel," she mumbled to herself as she lay facedown on her bed.

Anna frowned outside the door. "_What_ did you just say? It sounded like 'conceal don't feel'. What sort of rubbish talk is that? Of course it's ok to feel. And it's completely ok to cry sometimes too," she added when she heard stifled sobs coming from the other side of the door.

_No, it's _not_ ok. It might be fine to cry and feel for normal people, but it's not fine for me. Because I freeze things whenever I do,_ Elsa thought as she glanced around her room, which sure enough was beginning to be covered in ice. _You need to go back outside again soon. That will help you, self._

"Elsa, I'm right out here for you. It IS fine to cry, but I hate knowing you're upset like this. And don't try to tell me you're fine. I don't know why, but I do know you're scared and depressed for some reason and I want to help…will you let me?" Anna asked.

_You can't help, Anna. Not unless you know how to fix me, which I know is impossible. _Elsa made a rash decision. Maybe she couldn't tell Anna WHY exactly, but she could say something somewhat explanatory to Anna. She jumped off the bed and ran back over to the door, but didn't open it. "Anna, I have something important to say. Are you listening?"

"Of course!"

"All right, good. Anna, please just know that I can't talk to you. It's too hard for me…I…I just _can't_. And our parents will do their absolute hardest to keep you from even knocking on my door if they find out we've been talking together. It's… it's too dangerous. _I'm_ dangerous." Elsa's voice cracked as she continued, "I do love you. I always will. I miss you more than I can say. I wish I could tell you why things are the way they are…but I can't. I…I'm…it's…" Elsa tried to think of a way to say that there was something dangerously wrong with her without announcing that she had ice powers she couldn't control. Finally, she just said, "There's something wrong with me that can't be cured. I'm…defective," she finished.

Anna was confused and horrified at Elsa's little speech. "WHAT?! That is the STUPIDEST thing I've ever heard! Look, Elsa, I still don't have any idea what's going on, but I do know that my sister is NOT defective! You were completely fine outside earlier, although I did think it was strange you were wearing gloves and it's summertime. You must have a thing about dirt or something."

Elsa laughed ruefully to herself. _I wish that were the reason. A thing about dirt? Seriously?! Anna, you're funny._

"And you are not dangerous. Who's putting all these dumb ideas in your head? Mom and Dad? Maybe I should have another talk with them…no wait, that didn't do any good last time. Don't worry, Elsa, I won't do that."

Elsa sighed in relief. _Thank you, Anna. Whatever you do, please never EVER do that._

"Elsa, Mom's calling me. I gotta go. Bye!"

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _Bye Anna._

_**A/N:**_** I**** realize Elsa didn't respond to Anna ever from inside her room besides 'Go away Anna' during the movie...hang in there, everyone. I'm still eventually going to end this in canon and on a happy note. PROMISE.:)**

**(If anyone wants to guess what will happen, feel free to PM me.:))**


	4. I Wish It Could Be Like This All theTime

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thank you! I'm glad you like it.:) Yeah, I don't think Anna has NO common sense...it's just she's smart one minute and then does something completely stupid the next. I think she's just impulsive.;) Lol**

**Lindstrom-I didn't even realize I got all those foreshadowing moments in..:P But now that you point it out, I'm like 'Hey, cool!' Lol:) Thanks for sticking with me...I know exactly how the story's going to go; I just need to, you know, TYPE THE REST OF IT.:P (I'm pretty slow at typing) Elsa going to the other side of the room whenever she unlocks the door seemed like a believable habit, so...yeah. Now that I'm actually thinking about it, that is pretty sad.:/ I like that part too:) (wow, I'm being so modest at the moment aren't I?:P Not;) Ok, I'll shut up now.) I do intend to explain that a bit further, but it was mostly just because the secret passages were something that Elsa was supposed to know after she turned 16. (Hence why Anna doesn't know about them.) Also, in my head, I'm thinking that Agdar never thought that Elsa would actually go outside. Maybe go in the passages, but not outside. Anyhow...I WILL talk about that in either the next chapter or the one after.:)**

**On to the story:)**

The next afternoon, Elsa searched for the hat she'd taken outside the day before. _I must have left it out there! That was dumb… _She grabbed the one other hat in her closet and headed outside via the secret passages once again. Elsa looked up at the window where she had seen Anna the day before, but Anna wasn't there. _I was hoping she'd be there again…oh well, I'm still outside, and today I have something I need to do-find that hat._ She started searching through the area she knew she'd been in yesterday, looking back at the castle every few minutes for a sign of Anna. The hat was nowhere to be found. _Hats don't just walk away…where could it have gone?_ Elsa knew she was looking in the right area, but it was just plain gone. _Could someone have taken it? Who would have been out here, though? _She looked back at the castle once more. Elsa's face lit up when she saw Anna peeking out the same window as the day before. She abandoned searching for the missing hat and ran back towards the castle until she was standing almost under the window. Elsa waved at Anna, and Anna waved back. Elsa was still wondering what to do next when she heard Anna say, "Can you do a cartwheel, Elsa?"

Elsa frantically gestured for Anna to shush, and Anna said, "It's ok right now; nobody's within earshot."

Elsa smiled and just said, "Oh!" She thought about Anna's original question and realized she had no idea if she could or not. "I don't know," she added.

"Why don't you try?"

_Well, nobody's going to see me except Anna, so why not?_ Elsa tried, and would have easily made it over, except that she picked up her left hand too soon because the cut on her palm hurt, and she landed smack on her backside instead.

"That's ok; I can't either," Anna said.

Elsa giggled. _That was pure Anna, trying to get me to try something she can't do herself._ "Let me try again."

Anna watched as Elsa put only her right hand down this time as she kicked over. Elsa landed on her feet this time. _Um, Elsa just did that on her second try?!_

"Better?" Elsa asked. She knew she hadn't gone exactly straight over, but it was pretty close, and most certainly better than her first try.

"Yeah, Miss Show-off," Anna teased.

Elsa stepped back a few steps. _Is Anna mad at me? I wasn't trying to show off…_ "Sorry, Anna."

"Huh? Sorry for what? I was teasing you! You weren't really being a show-off," Anna said. "Although, how on earth did you do a one-handed cartwheel on your second try? That was great!"

"Oh. I'm sorry Anna; I know I am awful at this whole having an actual real conversation thing. I don't do it very often," Elsa said. _I might be awful at socializing with my own sister, but I'm still so, so happy to actually be talking to her anyway._

Anna frowned, remembering just why they were talking in this situation in the first place. _I wonder when IS the last time Elsa's enjoyed a real conversation…_

Elsa continued, "The only reason I tried it with one hand is because I hurt the other one yesterday. That's why I fell over the first time I tried it."

"Did you get it taken care of?"

"Yes, it's just a cut. It's fine."

"Can I see it?"

Elsa thought for a moment, and then said, "No. But Anna, you know what? I _love_ talking to you. I wish it could be like this all the time."

"Me too. Elsa…why did you thank me for _not hating you_ of all things yesterday? You sounded like you expected me to hate you, which is completely ridiculous."

Elsa's happy expression disappeared. _Because I'm a freak who almost killed you when you were five, that's why._ "Trust me, Anna, it isn't ridiculous. Can we please talk about something else?"

"Yeah, but I still don't agree. That is too completely ridiculous! Wait…" Anna put her finger to her lips. A few seconds later, she gave Elsa a thumbs up, but said quickly, "I gotta go-we almost got caught! Bye, Elsa!"

Elsa nodded and told Anna goodbye.

Anna gave Elsa a virtual hug, and Elsa returned the gesture.

* * *

Anna disappeared from the window, and Elsa went back to searching for the missing hat. After spending the next half hour looking for the hat, Elsa gave up. She didn't want to waste the entire afternoon looking for a dumb hat. Elsa flopped down on the grass by the creek and watched the water ripple by. _I still want to touch that water and actually feel it running through my fingers._ She slipped the glove off her right hand and hesitantly reached a finger toward the water. _Even if I _do_ freeze it, it'll melt before anyone sees it…right?_ When her bare finger touched the water and nothing happened, she smiled and dipped her whole hand in. _I did it! I did it! I'm TOUCHING WATER and nothing's happening! _Elsa swished her hand back and forth in the water happily. She loved the pleasant sensation of the running water against her skin. _I have to tell Anna tomorrow! I won't have to tell her about my powers…I'll just say how nice it was to actually touch the water._ Elsa felt like she could stay there forever, lying in the grass with her bare hand dragging in the creek. '_Cause I'm happy…'cause I'm happy…wait, happy? I'm happy and calm right now…_ She was almost positive that had something to do with this newfound control, just not exactly what. Elsa stayed there for a long, long time; just watching the water flow, listening to the gurgling of the creek and the chirping birds, and _feeling_ the water run against her hand. When the sun dropped low in the sky, she reluctantly headed back inside.

* * *

A few minutes after Elsa had returned to her room, Gerda knocked on her door saying she'd brought Elsa's dinner. Elsa practically skipped to the door and unlocked it before returning to the opposite side of the room. "The door is unlocked. Thank you for bringing my dinner, Gerda."

"I gather you have something else to say besides that," Gerda said with a smile. Elsa wasn't bouncing on her toes or anything like Anna would do when _she_ had something important to say, but Elsa's face was all smiles and she wasn't clasping her hands together as she often did.

"I do! I touched water earlier with my bare hand and I didn't freeze it," Elsa said proudly. She would have added that she had also really truly talked to Anna and that she'd actually dipped her hand in the creek for hours; but she didn't want to pepper Gerda with things that needed to be kept secret.

"Well, congratulations, Princess Elsa! I think that calls for some extra chocolate, don't you?"

Elsa beamed. "I love chocolate. Will you give Anna some extra, too?"

"Your sister eats a _ton_ of chocolate already. I don't think she needs more. But I'll give her a little extra, just for you. I'll tell her it was your idea. How's that?"

"That sounds perfect."

* * *

After dinner, Anna knocked on her sister's door. Elsa was sitting on her bed reading a book and eating her extra chocolates. Before Anna said a word, Elsa said, "Guess what's up?"

Anna paused in surprise. _Elsa said something from inside her room without me even asking her to!_ "What?"

"That's what's up!" Elsa delivered her silly punch line from the other side of the door.

Anna started laughing in the hall. _Elsa must be really, really happy right now if she's telling jokes…however 'so stupid they're hilarious' they are._ "Somehow I know you have something to tell me," Anna said when she finally stopped giggling.

"I touched water with my bare hand after you had to stop talking. And I'm just so happy I actually talked with you earlier," Elsa said.

Anna frowned. "You're talking to me now, too…"

"I know, and I'm grateful for it, but it's not the same as talking to you face to face like we were earlier," Elsa replied.

"Elsa, _why_ can't you just let me in? I know you want to."

Elsa's cheerful mood plummeted. "Anna…I'm dangerous. It isn't safe, that's why." _Anna, please, please, please don't ask me anymore…_

"THAT IS SO STUPID. My sister Elsa is not dangerous!"

_Yes she is…I wish she wasn't, though._ Elsa didn't say anything.

"Elsaaa…aren't you going to say something? Please?"

_No. Not about that, I'm not._ Elsa felt herself getting upset again. _Conceal, don't feel…_ She took a deep breath and simply said, "Topic change."

Anna realized that Elsa was probably getting upset again, even though she couldn't see her. "You got it. Oh, I know! Thanks for the extra chocolate! Gerda told me it was your idea. I LOVE chocolate! Hey, let's eat our chocolate together. I'll be right back."

Elsa smiled on the other side of the door as she heard Anna's footsteps run down the hall and then come back.

"Ok, Elsa, have you got your chocolate?" Anna asked.

"Yes." Elsa didn't know how she felt right that moment. She was happy to be sharing a casual activity like eating chocolate with her sister; but it was awful too, knowing the two of them would probably never be able to be together _normally_ without that door separating them. _Unless I can control my powers, that is…I did make a little step in the right direction today._ Elsa flicked a piece of chocolate under the door, being sure to stay a certain distance away from the door herself, just in case. "For you, Anna."

"Thanks, Elsa. Hey, it's got fudge in the middle," Anna said with her mouth full. "Yum!" She flicked one of her own chocolates under the door to Elsa.

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa popped the chocolate into her mouth. "Delicious! That one was caramel!" She paused as her keen ears heard two sets of footsteps coming closer. _I'm pretty sure that's our parents. _"Anna, you need to leave. Now. I'm about ninety-nine percent sure our parents are coming, and we will both be in a heap of trouble otherwise."

"I didn't hear anything…"

"Trust me, I did! Goodbye, Anna," Elsa whispered.

"Don't go away, Elsa! I wanna stay here! And I still say I didn't hear anything!"

Elsa forced herself not to reply. She _knew_ her ears had been right; they were almost never wrong. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she heard Idun ask Anna why she was eating chocolate outside Elsa's room. "Um…well, I know Elsa's in there and I wanted to eat my chocolate but I wanted to sort of be around Elsa, so yeah?" she heard Anna say.

"Have you been in Elsa's room?" Agdar asked.

"Nope, the door's been shut all the time," Anna said truthfully.

"Well, leave your sister alone. Don't bother her."

Anna felt like screaming. _I was not bothering Elsa! We were having fun, actually! _"I thought Elsa might be lonely, even if she doesn't like to be around people. I really don't think I was bothering her."

Elsa smiled sadly from the other side of the door. _Anna can practically read my mind even after all this time. Am I really lonely, though? I think I could easily deal with staying in this room forever if I could be around Anna. But then, I wouldn't have to stay in here in the first place if I could do that, so that point is invalid… I guess I _am_ lonely, if I'm using that logic. And do I really dislike being around people? I know for a fact I do right now, but is it because I'm afraid I'll hurt someone or because I just don't like socializing?_ Elsa found this ironic-the same girl who disliked being around people admitted she was lonely. She heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall and a shouted, "THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON WHY I CAN'T EAT CHOCOLATE OUTSIDE ELSA'S ROOM!" _Anna, be quiet. You're going to end up telling on us accidentally._

"Elsa, we have to finish talking about something important," Agdar said as knocked on Elsa's door.

_Blah, I'll bet it is about that betrothal thing again._ Elsa scrambled to stuff the leftovers from her and Anna's chocolate-eating activities under the bed. Then she ran to unlock the door before retreating to the other side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

"Did you know Anna was sitting outside your door eating chocolate?" Idun asked.

"Yes…" Elsa answered warily. "She wasn't doing anything. I didn't open the door."

"Did you talk to Anna?"

Elsa hated lying, so she answered, "Do you think I did?" being careful to keep her voice neutral. _Don't ask anymore, please…I can't stand losing Anna completely... again. It might be just chocolates under that door; Anna knocking…but it's so much more than that to me._

There was a strained silence for a minute.

"Elsa, we don't know what you did. You've been very unpredictable the last couple days."

Elsa bit back an irritated response. _On the contrary, I think I've been far _more_ 'predictable' in the last couple of days. Even my powers have been more in control. Certainly not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but better…_ "Does the important something regard my betrothal?"

"Why yes, as a matter of fact, it does, Elsa," Idun said. "Isn't that wonderful?"

Elsa was silent for a moment, trying to decide what to say. _Don't get mouthy, Elsa. Just sensibly explain why the whole prospect is ridiculous. _"Well, actually…I don't think that is wonderful. It really does not make any sense. I can't be around people anyway, and I'm supposed to be betrothed to someone? Also, no one should get married to someone they've never met. It's just not…right." _I may not know much of anything about marriage, but I'm quite sure that is not the way it should happen, even if there wasn't anything wrong with me._

"How can you say things like that, Elsa? You don't know anything about how marriage should work," Agdar said.

"I do concede that I don't know much about marriage, but _no one_ should get married to someone they don't even know, whether they're normal people or…messed up like me." Elsa's words were spoken with absolute certainty. "It's not even safe for anyone to be near me…" _Not even Anna…_

Elsa's simple logic did not leave much room for debate. She and her parents stood on opposite sides of the room in silence. Finally, Elsa said, "It's getting rather late…I should like to get ready for bed." Which was true, but Elsa really just wanted to stop the awkward silence.

Elsa's parents bid her goodnight, and Elsa quickly put on her nightgown and climbed into bed with a book. _Good night, Anna, whatever you're doing._

* * *

The next morning after breakfast, Anna came knocking on Elsa's door. "Good morning, Elsa! I've only got a couple minutes…I think Mom and Dad are suspicious about the chocolate thing. I just wanted to tell you that I probably won't be able to talk with you from the window this afternoon. Mom says I gotta catch up on some math stuff. Ick. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you so you don't think I forgot or abandoned you or something."

_Of course they're suspicious about the chocolate thing…I didn't exactly give them a straight answer last night…And if either of us has abandoned the other, it's me who's abandoned Anna, not the other way around._ "It's all right, Anna. Thank you for telling me, anyways. If it's math, I might be able to help you though," Elsa said.

"Really?! Awesome! I'll be right back." Anna dashed down the hall and came back with a half-finished sheet of problems. She pushed the paper under Elsa's door. "All those x's and y's and squares and whatever else…who cares what the stinky old variables are?"

"Just give me a minute here-I know how to do these," Elsa said as she picked up the paper. "Good grief, Anna, your handwriting is terrible! I can hardly read it."

"Can you just give me an example then? Then I can just copy the formula on all of them."

"Sure. I'll just give you the quadratic formula. That will work on every equation. Don't tell anyone I said this, but the other ways to solve these are rather dumb if you know the formula. Factoring and completing the square make a lot of unnecessary busy work." Elsa sat down at her desk and quickly wrote down the formula on another piece of paper. _Let's see…negative b, plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac, all over 2a. Yes, that's it._ She took the paper with the formula and Anna's paper back over to the door and quickly pushed it underneath to the other side before backing away. "Does that make sense, Anna? As long as every equation is in the Ax squared plus Bx plus C equals zero form, that formula will work on all of them, even ones with imaginary numbers."

"Hey yeah, actually it does! Cool, thanks, Elsa! Why didn't somebody show me that before? I'll bet this is the first time I get all my math problems right!" Anna exclaimed. "Wait, did you say IMAGINARY numbers? How can a number be imaginary? If it's imaginary then it doesn't exist and you can't do a math problem with something that doesn't exist and a number can't be imaginary anyway 'cause you can't count something that's imaginary but you can't count a negative number of things either and I know how negative numbers work but negative numbers aren't imaginary though-wait, what?" Anna rambled about the idea that there were imaginary numbers.

Elsa giggled on the other side of the door. _Most of that made not a lick of sense, Anna. _"You must not have started on imaginary numbers yet. It will make more sense when you get to it. Just pretend that they're called something different, because if you get hung up on thinking they're 'imaginary', it makes no sense whatsoever."

"Thank you SO much for your help, Elsa!" Anna frowned when she heard someone calling her. "Mom's calling me…I gotta go. Bye, Elsa."

"Bye, Anna." Elsa smiled as she heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _I helped Anna with something. I actually _helped_ Anna with something!_

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Anna proudly showed her mother her finished page of math problems. "Looky, looky! I'll bet they're all right, too! I know a new trick!"

"They _are_ right," Idun told her a few minutes later. "Good job. But I have one question for you…where did you learn this? No one taught you the quadratic formula yet."

"Um, well…" Anna had not anticipated this issue. _If Elsa isn't supposed to talk to me, she definitely wasn't supposed to help me with my math problems…what am I supposed to say?!_ "Isn't it great that I got them all right?" she asked, stalling for time.

"Yes, it is, Anna, but you had to have learned the formula from somewhere."

"I got it from a special library of knowledge!" Anna said dramatically. The silly drama was believable behavior coming from her, so this answer did not seem suspicious. _Well, Elsa _is_ special, and she's kind of a walking library of knowledge, evidently_, Anna thought to herself.

"Oh, the castle library," Idun said. Anna did enjoy reading, so that seemed believable, although Idun was slightly suspicious that Anna was reading something about algebra. That, on the other hand, was _not_ believable. Still…

Anna changed the subject by saying, "Look at this! See, it works on EVERY SINGLE ONE!" She stopped herself from adding 'supposedly even ones with imaginary numbers', because she wasn't supposed to have heard of those yet. _I'm so thanking Elsa for her help again later!_

* * *

Just as Elsa was getting ready to open the secret entrance in her room to go outside that afternoon, she heard Anna knock on her door and say in a rush, "I'mnotsupposedtobeherebutthanksforyourhelpearlier! Igotallmyproblemsright! ByeElsa!"

Before Elsa could say a word in reply, she heard Anna's running footsteps disappear down the hall. _You're welcome, Anna. I would have answered you aloud this time, but you ran off too fast._ She knew Anna had probably run off like that to ward off suspicion, but it still hurt. _Now I'm willing to reply and Anna just runs off…oh, come on, Elsa; be sensible. Do you want Anna to stay and talk and get both you and her in trouble? No, you don't. Besides, Anna had no way of knowing whether you intended to reply or not. _Elsa crawled into the secret passages with her candle to light her way and made her way back outside. Setting her candle next to the secret entrance, she glanced up at the sky. _It's so cloudy…I hope it doesn't rain. I don't care about getting wet, but I'll care if I accidentally freeze the rain. _

Elsa found several small stones and ran down to the creek. She took her time tossing each stone into the water and watching it ripple through the current. _I'm so glad I can go outside, even if I'm-_ Elsa's thoughts were interrupted by a mysterious rustling sound. _I hope it's an animal of some kind…please, please, please let it be an animal…_ She picked up a few larger rocks to throw just in case and looked around warily. When a seemingly endless minute passed and nothing happened, Elsa relaxed. _I guess it was nothing._ Elsa went back to tossing stones in the creek. The plinking and splashing sounds from the stones made Elsa oblivious to the stealthy footsteps behind her.

* * *

Inside the castle, Anna was at the window where she had talked to Elsa before. _Today's gonna have to be a gestures-conversation only day. I think we're both already being watched more than usual._ She was just about to open the window when she saw a suspicious-looking stranger come out of the trees and tap her sister on the shoulder. _Should I tell someone? I promised Elsa I wouldn't tell on her! Wait, what am I thinking-I HAVE to tell someone! Elsa might get hurt!_ Hoping beyond hope that she would have the chance to explain her actions to Elsa later, Anna turned from the window and ran off screaming for someone to go help her sister.

**A/N: Ok, so bad cliffhanger, I suppose. Next chapter coming soon.:)**

**Uh, please excuse that 'cause I'm happy song reference. It's burned into my brain so bad from hearing it different places.:P It was nice the first time, but now I'm thinking let it go already! Um...XD:P**

**Anna's 13...I don't know if she should be working on quadratic equations yet or not...um...anyway.:P (P.S. The quadratic formula really is way way easier than factoring or completing the square...XD Lol Also I think calling imaginary numbers "imaginary" really is dumb. They do make sense when you work with them, but the name is so dumb it's not even funny.;) *whistles innocently*)**


	5. When the Bottom Falls Out

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's following/reading but not reviewing!:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, that's true, sis.:P You do know you can get sunburned even in the winter, right?;) Besides, even if it were crazy hot outside (which it wasn't supposed to be, just warm), Elsa got sunburned while she was sleeping, so she didn't even know. Plus, in my "headcanon", Elsa couldn't feel temperatures at all until after she learned how to control her powers, so...yeah, I guess that was confusing. Anyhow...:P**

**Thepopcornpup-Glad you're enjoying it!:) Lol:P**

**Lindstrom-Yeah, I didn't think either of them would outright lie to their parents, so...yeah.:P Hence dodging and skirting questions.;) I'm glad you liked the cliffhanger...I thought it came off kinda crummy, but that was where I thought the chapter should end, so...:/ :)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-I'm glad you like it!:)**

**On to the story...:)**

Back outside, Elsa jumped at the tap on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" She turned to see a man about two heads taller than she was, and he was holding _what_? "That's my hat," she blurted in surprise. _I knew something was goofy about that hat going missing…what does this person want? _Elsa looked the stranger up and down. He wasn't a huge man, but he was still much bigger than Elsa herself. That look in his eyes told Elsa he was up to no good. Thoughts of kidnappers filled her mind as she edged around slowly so that she faced the creek and the stranger had his back to it. _I wonder if I can talk my way out of this…But I'm so awful at making small talk! I can barely talk with Anna properly._

"What's a pretty rich young miss such as yourself doing out here alone in the forest?" the man asked, noticing Elsa's well-made dress. He reached for Elsa's arm, but Elsa dodged sideways. "When I found this hat, I knew there had to be someone like you roaming around here."

_He doesn't know I'm the princess,_ Elsa realized. _Don't let him know that._ "Just taking a stroll," she said as she started to back away. _This man is trouble. I have to get away from him before he hurts me or I hurt him._

"Not so quickly, miss. Get back here." The man dashed towards Elsa, and she blindly threw the handful of rocks in her hand at him in a last-ditch attempt to get him to leave her alone. "Rocks?! What did you do that for?" he said angrily, rubbing his arm and head where Elsa's rocks had hit him.

"Maybe because I just want to be left alone! Go bother someone else!" Elsa cried as the man came close, far too close. Elsa shoved the man away from her as hard as she could in a panic. He caught her right hand as he tumbled into the creek. Elsa jerked away and her glove slipped off.

Before either Elsa or the man could purposely do anything else, the creek froze with the man still sitting in it. _Oh my goodness, how could I do that?! I just did that in front of a complete stranger! Mom and Dad are going to be so mad. Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa clutched her bare hand to her chest as she backed away. "I'm so sorry…" she whispered.

"You better be sorry, girl! What did you DO?!" The man was so surprised and _cold_ that he didn't know what to think. He couldn't believe that Elsa had frozen the creek just like that. The man let out a shrill whistle, calling his cohort.

Someone grabbed Elsa from behind, and although she couldn't see who it was, she was quite sure it was an accomplice to the man in the now-frozen creek. "Let me go! I could hurt you!" Much more of this, and Elsa was sure the whole area would be under solid ice. Already she was losing the little control she had. Ice spread under Elsa's feet. She was scared and the missing glove didn't help.

"Really? I should think you'd be worried the other way around, little lady," the someone said. "How could a young girl such as yourself hurt me?"

"Just look at your friend in the creek!" Elsa shouted as rain began pouring down. "I did that!"

The someone looked and then loosened his hold on Elsa in shock.

Elsa took that moment to attempt to hightail it out of there. The someone caught the end of Elsa's braid and yanked her back. "You're a little freak. You shouldn't be allowed out anywhere. Seriously? Ice? In the summer?"

Elsa blinked back tears. _I'm already not allowed out anywhere. I'm not even supposed to be out here. I guess this is why…I have to get away from here!_ Suddenly another idea popped into Elsa's frantic thoughts. If they thought she was a freak, maybe she could get them scared of her long enough for her to escape. "The little freak has ice powers, yes. LET. ME. GO!"

"Then why haven't you frozen us yet?" the someone smirked.

Elsa didn't know what to say to that. _Because I can't control it, and I hate hurting people. _She started trying to pull away again, but the someone refused to release her. "Stop pulling my hair!"

"You're the one pulling, not me."

"THEN LET ME GO!" Elsa's bare hand involuntarily sent icicles flying everywhere that narrowly missed hitting anyone. _Stop it, Elsa. Get it together._

* * *

Elsa never thought she would be thinking it, but she was very relieved to see her father and a few guards enter the clearing. Remembering that these men didn't know she was the crown princess, she just shouted for help instead.

"Release the girl," the king ordered, hoping that they had not realized Elsa was the crown princess. Agdar glanced around the clearing with a disapproving look. _She froze the creek…_

"Why, King Agdar, this girl is a little monster. She froze my friend in the creek, see?"

"That isn't for you to judge. Release her."

The man released Elsa and she started running as fast as she could through the rain to the entrance to the secret passages. _Dad didn't even deny it,_ Elsa thought miserably. It was one thing for her to accuse herself of those names, but when her father didn't attempt to deny it…

Agdar told the guards to take care of the two would-be kidnappers and went after Elsa. He caught up with her just as she was about to open the secret entrance. "You can't go back in that way. Those men will see the entrance."

"I don't think they can see me. Look how heavy it's raining," Elsa said. It was true; the rain was coming down in sheets and it was impossible to see farther than a couple feet.

"Point taken." Agdar opened the entrance and stepped inside, waiting for Elsa to follow.

Elsa almost would rather have stayed outside in the downpour whether it risked her freezing the rain or not. She reluctantly picked up her long-extinguished candle, stepped inside and then turned back to gaze outside.

The door to the secret entrance slid down, closing off Elsa's view.

"I don't suppose you have extra matches, do you?" Agdar asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Elsa said, resisting the urge to add _I'm not stupid_. She reached into her pocket with her bare hand and lit the candle. "Luckily they're still dry."

Agdar took the candle from Elsa and told her to follow him.

A few minutes and a few turns later, Elsa said, "This isn't the way back to my room. We should have turned the opposite direction two turns and one tunnel ago."

"We are going to the Great Hall."

_I must be in even more trouble than I thought. What is going to happen? _Elsa thought. A minute later and Elsa said, "This isn't the way to the Great Hall, either." It wasn't, but Elsa felt like an idiot for pointing it out. Why should she help with whatever was going to happen? She knew whatever it was couldn't be good. The longer they wandered around in the passages, the longer it would be before Elsa had to deal with whatever was going to happen. _I'm probably going to be kept from talking to Anna, I'm sure. Wait…how did Dad know I was in trouble? Anna must have told him I was outside…_

"If you're so smart, you take us to the Great Hall."

"Fine." Elsa took the candle and closed her eyes for a moment, picturing the map to the secret passages in her head. It was harder this time because this wasn't where she usually oriented herself in the passages. "This way." Elsa strode confidently up and down passages, down stairs, through a tunnel, down a chute, up a flight of stairs, and through a few more turns in the passages. _I am _not_ losing control this time, bare hand or not. No matter what happens,_ she promised herself. She was still shaken up from the whole thing that happened outside; she was mad and upset; and just…she wasn't sure what else. _When exactly did Anna tell on me?_ "Here is the secret entrance to the Great Hall."

"You have a remarkable sense of direction, Elsa," Agdar said. _She didn't get lost or make a wrong turn once. Although I shouldn't be surprised…Elsa has always had a good memory._ He and Elsa stepped into the Great Hall.

"Why am I here?" Elsa asked. "I know I'm in trouble, but why don't I just go back to my room?"

"Your mother and I need to discuss this whole…escapade with you."

_That wasn't a straight answer,_ Elsa thought. She clasped her hands behind her back out of her own sight.

"Starting with why were you outside after being specifically told not to?" Idun asked.

"Being outside makes me happy. It makes it easier to contain my powers, too," Elsa said. _Stay calm. Be reasonable. Don't explode._ "I even touched liquid water for an extended length of time without freezing it."

"You've been fine the last several years before you knew about the secret passages. You don't need to go outside to contain those powers of yours. Besides, you definitely were not in control outside earlier," Agdar said.

Elsa took a deep breath. _Those people were trying to kidnap me for goodness sakes! I don't think anyone on the planet could be in complete control if they were in my place. _"I have _not_ been fine the last eight years. I need to stay away from people because I'm dangerous, but staying in that room all the time does _not_ help. It makes everything worse than it already is." _That's the worst understatement ever._

"We thought you were old enough to know about the secret passages and not abuse the privilege of knowing about it. I guess we were wrong." In all truth, though, neither Agdar nor Idun had ever thought, even in passing, that Elsa would actually use the passages to go outdoors. After all, Elsa did not even like allowing them in her room; so why would she risk going outside where a stranger might see her? Also, the passages' layout was extremely convoluted and twisted; it was very easy to get lost. But Elsa's parents weren't surprised for _that_ reason. Elsa did like drawing complicated, detailed blueprints; and she also seemed to have an almost photographic memory. She'd read or see things once or twice and remember tiny details that most people would miss.

_I have not 'abused the privilege'. I have told no one about them. I haven't done anything wrong. _Elsa said nothing, but she clenched her gloved hand around her bare fist as she tried to maintain control.

"And another thing…the only reason we knew you were in danger at all was because Anna warned us. How did she know to be looking out that particular window at _just_ the right time?"

_I knew it!_ "When did Anna tell on me?" Elsa asked.

"About five minutes before I found you in that clearing. Why am I telling you this?"

_Because I asked, maybe?_ Elsa frowned, but she was happy Anna hadn't ratted on her for no reason. _Anna just told on me to keep me safe. Wait, how much did Anna see of what happened outside? Did she see me lose it and make all that ice? Freeze the creek?_ Elsa felt ice slipping out from her bare hand. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal don't feel…_

"How long has Anna known you've been going outside?"

Elsa gave her father a clear-cut answer. "Since the day you said I couldn't go out there anymore."

"So you've been talking to her."

"I have, yes." _It isn't going to matter what I say. I may as well admit it now as anytime._

"You've been putting your sister in danger every time you have talked to her. Do you realize that?"

Elsa struggled to hold back tears. _Have I, really? I mean, I didn't touch her and I always made sure not to get too close to her… Should I have just kept ignoring her? I don't know! I just don't know!_ "No comment," she said flatly. _I do know one thing, though. If something happens that I can't ever talk to Anna again, I…I…I don't know what I'll do…_

"No comment? Is that all you have to say? Do you even care? You're becoming a cold, heartless person."

Years of concealing her deepest emotions kept Elsa from bursting into sobs or screaming in anger, although she couldn't keep the ice from forming on the floor under her feet. _Is that what you really think of me? Whatever else is wrong with me, being heartless is not one of them. I KNOW that. If that were really true, I wouldn't be…be…be hurting like this. You know what, Elsa? Let them think whatever they want. No one will ever know the real you. If they want to think you're as cold on the inside as your uncontrollable powers are on the outside, so be it. Why bother trying to explain what no one will understand?_ "Well, I am the 'freak with the uncontrollable ice powers'. Cold fits. May I please go upstairs now?"

"Not yet. Do you see now why you weren't supposed to go outside? Those men were dangerous. They were trying to kidnap you."

"I see why I can't go outside alone…" The thought of those men outside made Elsa shudder, but she couldn't stand losing her tiny bit of freedom either. "But what if a guard went out there with me? I'd make sure not to get too close."

"No, Elsa. That won't work. You just can't go outside."

_Why, because you want to keep me in that room forever? It's not fair. It's just not._ Elsa managed to keep her face void of expression, but she felt so conflicted on the inside she could hardly stand it. _Just maintain composure a few minutes more, Elsa. If you have to, you can lose it later in your room. Not here._

"Do not talk to Anna anymore. I'll have to talk to Anna about this whole knocking thing, too. Also, I can see we're going to have to change the locks on the door."

Elsa stood ramrod straight, biting her lip. _I _will not_ lose control. I won't. Changing the locks on the door…so I'm unable to open the door to Anna even if I want to. So my room will be a literal prison, no matter how 'comfortable' it might be._ "C-c-can I still go in the secret passages and not go outside?"

"Oh, very well. That can't harm anyone."

_At least I still have that._ Elsa tried to concentrate on that one small good thing.

Gerda came into the Great Hall just then, saying that Anna said something about Elsa being in trouble and what happened? One look told Gerda that Elsa had gotten out of the trouble outside but now she was in a different sort of trouble.

"Take Princess Elsa back to her room, Gerda," Agdar said.

Elsa gladly followed Gerda out of the Great Hall. The moment she knew they were out of her parents' earshot, she couldn't keep the tears in any longer. _I should have known the last couple of days were too good to be true...too good to last._

"Princess, are you all right?" Gerda asked.

"No! I'm not! I've lost Anna yet again and…and…oh, I can't talk about it!" Elsa ran ahead and up the staircase, thinking all the while that this was probably the last time she would see the castle outside her room.

* * *

In the hallway upstairs, Anna stood outside Elsa's room waiting for Elsa. She was sure Elsa would have to be coming upstairs soon. Sure enough, a moment later Elsa came running down the hall.

Elsa wasn't looking where she was going and ran right into Anna, who grabbed her and held her tight. Elsa was too surprised to move, although her mind was screaming at her to get Anna away from her dangerous self.

Anna couldn't help but relish the moment. She was hugging Elsa for the first time in eight years. And although Elsa was standing there stiff as a board, she wasn't pulling away either. _And Elsa's so cold! Why is she so cold? I know it's not nearly that cold outside, even though it's dumping like crazy._

Gerda came into the upstairs hall to a surprising sight. There was Elsa standing stiffly with her arms clamped to her sides, and Anna was hugging her tight. She didn't want to interrupt the two girls, so she stood back and said nothing.

"Elsa, I…I…love you," Anna whispered.

That was the last straw for Elsa. "Anna, I…I…it's not safe. I need to go in my room." She pulled away from Anna and ran inside her room and locked the door. Then she quietly said, "I love you too, Anna," from inside. _Why? Why?! WHY?! I'm never going to see Anna again. I _hate_ this! It isn't fair! Why can't I control it? Am I just stupid or something? Why can't I go outside with a guard or something as long as I stay away? Why can't that horrid door stay as it is? Why do I have to be physically locked in here now? And I'm _not_ heartless; I'm not! _Elsa felt a wave of anger wash over her. Suddenly, she just didn't care one bit that there was ice spreading all over the floor. On impulse, she took off her one remaining glove and threw it across the room into the corner. _I'm never going to be able to control it, so why even try any more? _She felt like _breaking_ something, _destroying_ something; something, anything, to vent her feelings out on. Elsa deliberately shot a razor-sharp icicle toward the window. It shattered into hundreds of shards of glass, letting the driving rain outside come in, but Elsa didn't care. _What do you think of _that_, Mom and Dad? I shot an icicle on purpose. So there._ A thick sheet of ice spread across one wall, and Elsa began hurling icicle after icicle at it. _That's for locking me in here!_ Another icicle. _That's for those creepy men outside that ruined everything in the first place! _Another icicle. _That's for me being a failure at controlling this!_ Another icicle. _That's for not letting me even talk to Anna! _Another icicle. _That's for calling me heartless! _Another icicle. _That's for myself just being such a stupid dummy for ever hoping things were getting better after a few days of being so much happier!_ Elsa kept shooting icicles, one for every single thing that bothered her, sometimes shooting extra icicles for especially bad things. She went on and on for a long time until she started feeling dizzy and tired and it was actually difficult for her to shoot her icicles. _Wait, it's difficult for me to shoot icicles…maybe, just maybe…_ Elsa was struck by the idea that maybe if she kept doing this long enough, maybe she could shoot all the ice right out of her. _Then I could be around Anna and all this horrible madness would stop._ Hoping her idea would work, Elsa began shooting icicles with newfound energy faster and faster. _Come on, please, please let this work…_ The walls and floor seemed to warp and dip wildly around her, but Elsa kept going, stumbling as she tried to keep her footing.

Thirty long minutes later, Elsa collapsed to the floor when her legs gave out under her. _It worked. I'll get to…see…Anna…_ she thought in a daze when she lifted her tired hand one last time and nothing happened before she blacked out.

* * *

Gerda came knocking on Elsa's door with her dinner. "It's Gerda, Princess Elsa. I have your dinner."

There was no answer.

Gerda knocked again, this time a bit harder. "Princess?" Gerda thought that maybe Elsa was too shaken to answer the door at the moment, so she set Elsa's dinner right outside the door and said, "I'll just leave your dinner out here so you can get it whenever you're ready."

* * *

A few minutes later, Anna tiptoed down the hall to Elsa's room. She'd been told in no uncertain terms not to 'bother Elsa' anymore, but she was determined to keep knocking no matter what. Anna noticed Elsa's dinner sitting untouched outside the door and stopped dead in her tracks. _Why hasn't Elsa gotten her dinner? Gerda left that up here ten or so minutes ago, I know…what is going on? _Anna took the risk of trying Elsa's door, but it was no use. The door was locked. _I gotta go find Gerda. Something's wrong, I just know it!_ She took off down the hall and slid down the staircase banister. When she saw Gerda heading in the direction of the Great Hall, she said, "Gerda, something's the matter with Elsa! I was just outside her door, and she hasn't touched her dinner since you left it there…"

"Goodness, that's strange…Princess Anna, why don't you go back upstairs and not have anything to do with this? Unless I miss my guess, you wanted to talk to your sister and I know you were forbidden to do that. I don't want either you or her to get in more trouble. I'll tell your parents what's happening. How's that?"

"Can't you just find out what's the matter with Elsa yourself? Please?" Anna asked. "She usually lets you in her room…"

"Princess, I cannot barge into your sister's room without either her or your parents' permission. It isn't proper," Gerda told her.

"Oh, fine. Just…make sure Elsa knows I'm sorry I ratted on her, even if it was 'cause I was trying to keep her safe." With those words, Anna turned and ran back upstairs to her own room.

**A/N: I would love feedback on Elsa's outburst in her room. Is it out of character to you? It seemed believable to me...EVERYONE has the potential to get really angry under the right conditions...opinions, please?**

** Next chapter coming soon.:) **


	6. Together Temporarily

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited! *jumps about like a crazy person*XD Also thanks to everyone who's reading but not reviewing.:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Because she genuinely believes it's not safe for her to be close to Anna. She just wants to be allowed to talk to Anna through the door.:) Don't worry, Elsa won't run away in the story. She might think being away from everyone will fix everything, but she definitely isn't going to make plans to run away.:)**

**Thepopcornpup-Lol, you made me laugh. Yeah, eyes literally bulging out would be pretty ickyXDXD But I'm glad you liked it!:) That's what I thought too...that Elsa has a right to be mad. Thanks for the confirmation!:)**

**Lindstrom-No kidding! Even in the movie, they're all like 'Elsa what have you done? This is getting out of hand!' Um, she's 8 at that point for one thing, and they should have asked what exactly happened...:/ I don't care how much Agdar and Idun genuinely did or did not 'care' about Elsa; they DEFINITELY didn't "approve" of her or her powers. (My opinion, anyway) Therefore I don't think they treated her fairly at all...ok, I'm going on way too long about this.:P Anyway, thanks for the confirmation about Elsa's reaction; that's what I thought too but I wanted others' opinions:) I'm glad you like "my" Elsa:)**

**On to the story...:)**

After Gerda explained the problem to the king and queen, they hurried upstairs. Several knocks later, Agdar finally said, "Elsa, if you don't unlock the door, we're going to open it ourselves."

No answer.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw inside Elsa's room. Rain poured in the shattered window. Tiny shards of glass lay all over the window seat and on the floor surrounding the window. The entire floor was a sheet of ice. One wall was covered with ice, and hundreds of icicles were lodged in the ice all over the wall. And then there was Elsa, lying on her side in the middle of the floor; her bare hands held close to her chest even though she wasn't awake. There were dried tears streaking Elsa's face, but her expression didn't look unhappy. She was almost smiling.

_Wait, bare hands? _the king thought. "Elsa did this on purpose for some reason."

"King Agdar, I'm sure Princess Elsa didn't mean anything," Gerda said in Elsa's defense. "And…I don't think she's just sleeping. She would have woken up by now…"

"Gerda is right, Agdar…Elsa's unconscious, and she's shivering," Idun said as she knelt down beside Elsa. "Something is wrong! Elsa is never affected by the cold." She hesitated before grabbing Elsa's cold hands to rub them to warm them up. "Gerda, do you know what happened here?" Idun asked, holding up Elsa's still-bandaged left hand.

"Goodness, I don't know. Princess Elsa never said anything about hurting herself. May I suggest moving the princess somewhere warmer if she's cold? It's wet and freezing in here…" Gerda said.

"Good idea. We'll take her to one of the guest rooms."

* * *

When Elsa came to later that evening, the first coherent thought that came to mind was, _My plan worked. I can see Anna now. It's safe._ The next thing her mind registered was that she felt horrible. Elsa felt hollow and empty all over, like something was missing inside; and she felt like she was going to throw up. _That's stupid. I haven't even eaten anything. What's wrong with me? Why can't I move?_ Elsa slowly blinked her eyes open and saw four faces staring down at her. _Dad, Mom, Gerda, Anna…Anna! I see Anna! _"Anna…" she said almost inaudibly.

"Are you ok, Elsa? What happened?" Anna asked.

Not thinking, Elsa started to say, "I shot i-" and Anna was promptly escorted from the room before she could say anything else. A moment later, Elsa realized what she had been about to say and whispered, "I'm sorry…" as a single tear rolled down her cheek. _I lost Anna again._ Elsa's eyes scanned her surroundings. _This isn't my room._ "Where am I?"

"One of the guest rooms. We found you unconscious on the floor in your room, which coincidentally was absolutely full of ice," Agdar said. "What were you doing?"

Elsa's tired eyes began to drift shut again. "I feel awful. Like I'm going…to throw up or something… And all hollow and empty…" _I don't care what anyone thinks I was doing. The important thing is that I got rid of that…that ice inside me._ She just needed to explain that to her parents and then they would get Anna and everything would be fine.

"Do you need a bucket?"

"No…I haven't eaten anything…can Anna please come back?" Elsa struggled to stay awake. "It's…safe for her now…"

Gerda had been thinking about the mess they'd found in Elsa's room and put the pieces together. "King Agdar, Queen Idun…I think Princess Elsa made all that ice on purpose, but she was trying to get all her powers out of herself somehow. That's why she feels 'empty' and why she was shivering when we found her in her room."

"Is that true, Elsa?" Idun asked.

"Yes…" Elsa said, her eyes still closed even though she was technically awake. _Well, it started because I got angry, but…I did it for so long because I wanted to try to get rid of all that swirling cold inside and be safe for Anna… _"It worked, too…see?" She managed to lift her right hand a little, tried to use her powers, and failed. The only indication of Elsa's abilities was that the temperature of her skin dropped, nothing visible. No ice or snow. Elsa's hand dropped limply back on the bed. "Can Anna _please_ come back?"

"Are you pretending to be unable to use your powers?"

Elsa's blue eyes blinked open again. "Do you honestly…think I have enough…control to try something like that?" _That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I could never do that…even if I actually wanted to…and believe me, right now I want to, even if that IS an outright lie…_ "I just…want Anna to…come back…" Elsa's eyes shut once more and she fell asleep without trying to.

"Let Anna come back, Agdar," Idun said. "You _know_ Elsa isn't faking. She wouldn't be able to do that even if she wanted to."

"True. I'll get Anna." Agdar came back a minute later with a very excited Anna. "Now, Anna, your sister is sick. Don't wake her up."

"Yeah, yeah," Anna replied. _You fibbed that Elsa was sick and said that was why I couldn't be around her…and now that she genuinely is ill, I can be with her? Ok, then. That doesn't make much sense…_ Anna was confused, but she certainly wasn't going to question it. She pulled up a chair next to the bed where Elsa lay and plopped into it as she took Elsa's bare hand in hers. _Elsa isn't wearing gloves now…I wonder why. Maybe she takes them off when she goes to sleep, _Anna decided.

Agdar and Idun left the room, telling Gerda to stay and keep an eye on the girls. "There's something we need to discuss together," Agdar explained.

The second their parents left the room, Anna asked Gerda, "Is Elsa's hand ok? She told me she cut it the other day, but she wouldn't show me." Anna eyed Elsa's other hand, the one with the bandage on it.

"She's fine, princess. I checked it earlier before she woke up. Evidently, your sister had already taken good care of it herself," Gerda said.

Anna frowned. "You mean…Elsa didn't get someone to take care of it for her? She did it herself instead?" Anna squeezed her sister's hand, which made Elsa stir awake.

Elsa felt someone holding her hand and instantly started trying to pull away from instinct. "Anna?" she asked when she realized just who it was. _Anna. I have to make her let go, just in case. She's touching my bare hand!_ She kept trying to tug her hand out of Anna's grasp, but she still felt too weak to make much of a fuss.

"Right here, Elsa. Do you feel better now?" Anna asked as she brushed messy wisps of platinum hair out of Elsa's face.

"Not really, but I…do because you're…here now," Elsa said. "You shouldn't touch me…I think it's safe right now but…" _It's safe right now but this isn't permanent…I can feel it._ Elsa suddenly had a sinking feeling that as soon as she recovered and felt better, those powers of hers would be back at full strength. _This time with Anna is temporary. Enjoy it as much as possible, because it'll probably never happen again. No, I _know_ it'll never happen again…_

"Can I get you anything?" Anna asked. "Maybe some dinner? I know you haven't eaten anything."

The notion of food made Elsa feel like she wanted to throw up all the more. "No food…can I have my gloves back though? Please?"

Anna made a silly face. "What, you think I have cooties or something?" Anna turned to Gerda. "Will you please get my sister, Miss Germophobe, what she wants?"

"Yes, princess," Gerda said and left the room.

Elsa giggled quietly but didn't attempt to convince Anna otherwise. _As long as Anna thinks that, no matter how silly it is; I won't have to worry about trying to explain about those powers._

"I'm sorry I ratted on you earlier," Anna said suddenly. "Did I get you in huge trouble?"

"Don't be sorry, Anna. You did it because I…was in danger, not because you thought… 'Mwahaha, I'm gonna tattle on Elsa and get her in trouble!' I'm not mad at you…at all. All right, I admit it…I did get in huge…trouble, but it's not your fault." Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, trying to keep from crying and forget about what was going to happen the moment she was better. "Maybe I shouldn't…shouldn't have gone outside in the first place…"

Anna frowned. _Is Elsa really blaming herself for what happened? If she were allowed outside that room in the first place, she wouldn't have had to sneak outside…_ "Elsa…what exactly happened? Define 'huge trouble.'"

Gerda came back with the gloves, relieving Elsa of having to answer Anna's question. "Here, Princess Elsa."

_I hate those things. I hate needing them,_ Elsa thought. "Thank you, Gerda."

Anna reluctantly slipped the gloves over her sister's waiting fingers. "Now I can't hold your hand properly," Anna complained.

_That's kind of the point_, Elsa thought sadly. Out loud she said, "Just pretend they're not there, Anna." She gave Anna's hand a weak squeeze.

"Hmph. Well, if I gotta choose between you locked in your room or me holding your hand even if you're wearing gloves, I'll certainly choose the second," Anna declared.

_So would I, Anna. So would I. But sometime soon I'll be back in that room and we won't even have this. And it won't be safe anymore._ Elsa gave Anna a sad smile, but said nothing. _I love you, Anna._

Finally happy and contented even though she was certain this was temporary, Elsa fell asleep, her hand still clutching Anna's tightly. A few minutes later, Anna was asleep, too.

No one realized that all the ice back in Elsa's room had completely disappeared.

* * *

Gerda left the two sleeping girls upstairs and headed downstairs to tell the king and queen that Elsa and Anna were both asleep. Downstairs in the Great Hall, Agdar and Idun were having a discussion. "You can't really be thinking about doing that," Idun said, frowning.

"Idun, she made herself seriously ill just to see Anna. You know as well as I do that making that huge mess in her room didn't permanently get rid of her powers. It's just temporary. This might be the only way to keep everyone safe."

"We cannot go and fix up that old cell with the special shackles in the dungeon for our own daughter! There's something wrong with that picture, don't you think? What would Elsa think if she found out about it? She'd be devastated."

"You know why that cell exists in the first place, don't you? Long time ago, my own great-great-grandmother had powers just like Elsa's. She never did learn how to control it. Her powers became so dangerous and out of control that she made that cell for herself because people wanted to kill her for having those powers. That was the 'compromise' she came up with. And she spent the rest of her life down there until she…" Agdar said.

"That is not going to happen to our daughter, Agdar. I'm sure Elsa will figure it out eventually."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Well, then…I don't know…"

"Then it's settled. We'll have to fix it up and clean it out, just in case. Also, Elsa has been acting up lately…what if she starts freezing things on purpose or something?"

Gerda stood outside the Great Hall, finding this whole conversation strange and horrifying. She gave a loud knock before entering the Great Hall. "Both Princess Elsa and Princess Anna are fast asleep." She turned to head back upstairs, but Agdar called her back.

"How much of that conversation did you overhear?"

"I heard enough," Gerda said with a frown. _Enough to know that whole idea is terrible._

"Elsa and Anna are not to know anything about this, do you understand?"

"Of course…King Agdar, may I have permission to speak my opinion on the matter?"

"You have permission to speak freely."

"Thank you. Now, my opinion…King Agdar, that is a horrible idea! Princess Elsa is still a child-she's only sixteen. How could you even consider locking her in the dungeon? She tries her best to control her powers all the time…she's done nothing wrong."

"That mess of ice in her room did not look very controlled to me. She also kept going outside and talking to Anna after being told not to."

"She was trying to _get rid_ of her powers! Something that's a physical part of her! She also made herself sick in the process. And you can't expect her to stay in that room forever or _never_ talk to her own sister…"

"That's enough, Gerda. It's for Elsa's own good, not to mention everyone else's. I withdraw permission for you to speak freely."

"Very well. Good night, King Agdar, Queen Idun." Gerda turned and headed back upstairs to keep an eye on the two sleeping princesses.

* * *

"Wait! Slow down!" … "Anna…sorry…accident! Please…" Elsa's distressed voice woke Anna up later in the middle of the night.

"Elsa? What's the matter?" Anna asked. She fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on the nightstand.

"…I didn't mean to…" Elsa said.

_Didn't mean to what?_ Anna wondered. She frowned at her sleeping sister. Elsa was crying in her sleep. "Elsa, it's ok. Everything's fine. Just a yucky dream," Anna said softly as she took Elsa's hands in hers.

Elsa blinked sleepily up at Anna. "What's…going on?"

"I think you were having a nightmare…something you didn't mean to or something. But it's over, Elsa. It's fine. We're just here together. Nothing happened."

_It's not fine. That wasn't just a dream. That really happened. And I can't even tell you about it._ Elsa's tears began anew, and she held Anna's hand as if her life depended on it.

"Elsa, please stop crying! It was just an icky dream. Elsa?" Anna wasn't sure what to do. Finally, she wiggled her hand out of Elsa's grasp and sat down on the bed next to Elsa. Then Anna helped Elsa to a sitting position and pulled her close, letting Elsa cry on her shoulder. And she wondered again why her sister's body felt so cold.

_You shouldn't hug me. Why do you even want to after all that time? It's safe right now, but I know it won't be soon._ Elsa couldn't believe Anna would want to try to comfort her when she hadn't even explained what the problem was, but she didn't question it further to either herself or aloud to Anna. Elsa buried her face in Anna's shoulder and let the tears flow.

Neither she nor Anna said a word to the other. Being together was enough.

* * *

The next morning found the two sisters asleep together tangled in each other's arms. Elsa woke up first, as she usually awoke far earlier than Anna did. She was actually disappointed to find that she felt a little better, because that meant she wouldn't get much more safe time with Anna. _At least I don't feel like I'm going to barf anymore. That icky hollow and empty feeling can stay as long as possible though, because I know that has something to do with my powers. _Elsa was right; her body felt as if there were something missing because there really was-she'd purged nearly all of the innate powers of everything cold inside her the day before. She wiggled herself out of Anna's arms and gave her sister a gentle shake. "Anna? Wake up!"

Anna mumbled something incoherent that ended with something about chocolate.

Elsa giggled and shook Anna harder before flopping back against the pillows, having used up the little energy she had. "Anna, we aren't having chocolate for breakfast!"

Anna sat up straight. "We're having chocolate for breakfast?! Yum!"

"I said we AREN'T having chocolate for breakfast," Elsa replied, still giggling.

"Rats. By the way, you look way better this morning, Elsa. I'm glad you're getting better! You kinda scared me last night, staying unconscious like that for all that time," Anna said.

"I'm not glad," Elsa mumbled, looking away from Anna. _It means we don't have much more safe time together._

Anna frowned. "Why not?"

Elsa tried to think of a way to explain her thoughts to Anna without saying anything about uncontrollable ice powers. "Because…because the second I'm recovered, I know I'll be back in my room. It won't be safe anymore…"

_That makes about zero sense…why does Elsa keep saying it's not safe for me to be around her? I bet Mom and Dad are putting dumb ideas in her head. Wait, I know…_ "That 'not safe' thing is so dumb. You are not dangerous. But if you're so sure that's what will happen when you're all the way better, maybe you could pretend to be sicker than you are so we get more time together?" Anna suggested.

_I can't do that. It's physically impossible for me to do that…_ Elsa thought, although she really wished she could do that, even if it was kind of lying. _Actually that's outright lying, not kinda sorta lying._ "Anna, I can't do that…."

"Sure you can! Just do like this!" Anna proceeded to make what she thought was a pitiful expression but really just looked amusing.

Elsa began giggling again. "If I made that face at our parents, they would know for certain I was faking. And also think I had rocks in my head. Do you realize how funny you looked just now?"

Anna pretended to look put out but couldn't help laughing. "You don't appreciate my acting?"

"Not if I'm supposed to take it seriously! It was great for a comedy act, though. If you're going to make a _good_ acting face, try this…" Elsa made her own pitiful expression before smiling back at Anna. "How was that?"

"Elsa, don't _do_ that. That was a little too convincing for my taste," Anna said, frowning. _Was she really a hundred percent acting?_

"I thought that was the point."

"Yeah, but that was too good. It didn't even look like you were just acting… But hey, that's a good thing if you're trying to be convincing to someone else! Do that again when our parents come in here!"

"No. I can't," Elsa said roughly, turning her face away from Anna. _I will not let them see me that way, no matter how I really feel. No crying; no sniveling; no appearing hurt or shaken. If they want cold, then that's what they'll get. A detached and completely emotionless me. That's what I'm supposed to be anyway, perfect all the time…conceal, don't feel… _She hadn't forgotten how hurt she had felt at the accusation of being cold and heartless. _Maybe I'll let _Anna_ see the real me though. Nobody else. Except that once I'm better, I won't be able to feel anymore without completely losing control again; it won't be safe…I wish I were just normal…_

Anna knew there was something else to Elsa's words, something she was probably not going to share. _She isn't mad…she's upset about something…_ "Elsa, look at me."

Elsa slowly turned her head back towards Anna but said nothing. Elsa's expression was so blankly neutral it would have been unnerving if it weren't for her blue eyes betraying her genuine stormy feelings.

Anna did a double take at her sister's expression. _Well, if you want to call it that…_ "Elsa, stop making that face. If you're upset or mad or whatever, it's fine."

"No, it isn't." _And I can't even explain why…_ Elsa closed her eyes and reached for Anna's hand. _I will not ruin the little bit of time we have together._

Anna frowned but didn't say anything more. She remembered that Elsa could be very stubborn when she wanted to be from when they were little. "Well, um…do you maybe want some breakfast?" Anna asked to change the subject.

Anna was rewarded with a small smile from Elsa. "Are you sure you want to ask that? I might barf on you," she teased. _You shouldn't have said that, Elsa. What would Mom and Dad think, the crown princess joking about throw-up? Never mind, I don't care. Too bad. They're not in here to hear me anyway. That _was_ funny, if I dare say so myself…_

"EW! GROSS! I hate throw up!" Anna squealed and jumped away from Elsa. She realized Elsa was teasing when she heard quiet giggles. "That wasn't funny, Elsa!" Then she remembered that Elsa didn't get Anna's teasing show-off joke before and got upset instead, so she added, "Well, it's kinda funny. Just, like, not, you know, hilarious funny."

Gerda knocked on the door and said she had breakfast for Anna, and Elsa too if she wanted it.

"The door's already open," Anna called.

"Thank you for not saying 'The door is unlocked'," Elsa said quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anna asked.

"Never mind." Elsa didn't want to explain the significance of that particular phrase to her.

"Ha! I thought you said we weren't having chocolate for breakfast," Anna said triumphantly when Gerda handed her a plate of chocolate-chip pancakes.

"We're not…are we?" Elsa started trying to sit up on her own, but only made it about halfway before flopping back down on her back. "Good grief, what is _wrong_ with me? I can't even sit up properly…And wait, I do smell chocolate…are they chocolate-chip pancakes?"

"I can see you're feeling a little better, Princess Elsa," Gerda said with a smile as she helped Elsa sit up and lean against the pillows. "Don't scare us like you did last night again!"

_I wonder if I can just do that again after I'm all the way better…then I would get to have more time with Anna._ As nasty as Elsa had felt when she'd come to the night before, she would feel like that a hundred times over if it meant she could safely spend time with Anna. "May I have a pancake, please?" she asked.

"Duh, Elsa, of course you can! Why do you think Gerda brought our breakfast in here?" Anna said, and handed Elsa the breakfast tray.

"Thank you, Anna," Elsa replied, sniffing the delicious-smelling pancakes. She and Anna ate in a happy silence for a few minutes until Elsa started feeling exhausted again. _But I don't want to take a nap. What if I wake up and feel completely better? Then it'll be bye-bye safe time with Anna…_ She stifled a yawn.

"Princess Elsa, perhaps you should rest and take a nap?" Gerda suggested.

"I don't want to…I want to stay awake and be with Anna."

"Elsa, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here all the time," Anna assured her.

_That's not it, Anna. It's me. Stupid, uncontrollable me._ "That's not it…I don't want to go to sleep and wake up back in my room or something," Elsa said. _Especially since my room's door is going to have the locks changed, which is completely unfair and rather creepy…_

"Not happening. Elsa, take a nap. I'll even wake you up in a couple hours if you want me to," Anna replied.

"Well…" Despite her protests, Elsa found herself falling asleep. "I love…you, Anna…" Her mind half-registered Anna pulling the covers around her shoulders, and thought, _Thank you, Anna, even though I can't feel temperatures…_

Anna flopped on the bed next to Elsa and began reading a book until Elsa woke up.

* * *

When their parents came to check on them a few minutes later, Elsa was fast asleep and Anna was still reading. "How is Elsa doing?" Idun asked.

"She ate one pancake before getting all tired again and falling asleep," Anna said. "So I guess she's a little better. Mom, Dad…Elsa actually said she wasn't glad that she felt a little better because the second she was recovered, she'd be back in her room. That's not normal. Elsa actually _wants_ to be sick so everything's not back like it was before…can't we change some things around here? Please? I've missed Elsa tons. It's so nice to get to be around her, even if she's sick and can't really play with me…" Anna put her arm around Elsa and gave her a hug, which woke her up.

Elsa blinked for a moment before focusing and remembering where she was. She smiled and was about to hug Anna back when she noticed who else was in the room. _Go away. I want Anna to myself, without worrying I'm doing something wrong every minute._ Elsa put on that same blankly neutral expression that she'd done earlier.

Anna noticed Elsa's abruptly changing mood and frowned. "Elsa, what's wrong?"

When their parents asked Elsa how she was feeling, Anna immediately had the answer.

"Does it matter? Leave me alone." Elsa's words were almost spat out. _You just want to know if I'm better enough that those dumb powers are back. Well, they're not, not yet, and I'm very glad._ She turned over, away from their parents, and pulled the covers over her head. _Ok, why did I do that? I just wasted my little bit of energy doing that._

"Elsa, we just want to know how you're doing. Can we do anything for you?"

_Yeah, just LEAVE ME ALONE._ "No." Elsa's voice was muffled under the covers.

Elsa listened as Anna was sent out of the room because 'we need to talk to Elsa'. _Now I _know _what Mom and Dad want to talk about._ "Anna will eavesdrop outside the door. And quite honestly, I hope she is," Elsa said as she struggled to turn back over and look at her parents.

"Gerda, please make sure Anna isn't right outside the door," Idun said.

Gerda obliged. Sure enough, Anna _was_ standing right outside the door. "Come along, princess, you can come back later."

"But I don't wanna leave Elsa!" Elsa heard Anna say.

"Now Elsa, be honest: Are you well enough that your powers are back?" Agdar asked.

_I knew it._ "Why?" Elsa asked.

"You know why."

Elsa kept her expression unreadable, but she was more than a little angry on the inside. She said nothing.

"Answer please, or you'll have to go back to your room anyway. The truth now."

"Fine. No, they're not back yet, and I'm glad. Trust me, if my powers were back, this room would probably be covered with ice right now." Elsa's expression stayed neutral, but her blue eyes were flashing. She was angry.

Agdar and Idun exchanged a glance. "Is that a threat?"

Elsa said nothing but kept that piercing gaze of hers on her parents. _Yeah, it is. Honestly I don't know if I'd follow through with it or not…meh, I probably would involuntarily…_

"You won't mind if we just test that, would you?"

_As a matter of fact, I do mind._ Elsa still said nothing, just kept staring.

"And do stop staring like that. It's unnerving."

_Good. I don't care. _Elsa kept quiet.

"Elsa, please try to use your powers. If you can't, we'll get Anna and leave you both alone for awhile again."

That got Elsa's attention. She did want Anna to come back. Elsa slipped off one glove and attempted to shoot an icicle at the window. _This had better not work because purposely breaking a window is definitely obnoxious. Although, at the moment, I don't particularly care…_

**A/N: So, kinda sorta cliffhanger...IDK.:) Anyway, more coming soon! I'll probably take longer to update this time because I don't have any more written. (I know what will happen, but I haven't written it out yet:P)**

**So...that was my explanation of that cell Elsa was locked in during the movie. I found it abhorrently creepy if her parents actually built the whole place for her, so that's my explanation. There wasn't enough time for Hans to have that built, so it had to have already been there. So, ta-da! This also kind of explains where Elsa's powers came from. They run in her family.:) (Maybe it's a recessive gene or something, IDK:P)**

**I know Elsa is angry at the moment, but like I thought and what some of you guys thought too; I think she has good reason to be. Anyway...:/**

**Next chapter coming sometime soon!:)**


	7. Together Temporarily-Part II

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's favorited/followed and/or reading but not reviewing:)**

**Lindstrom-Confused and dysfunctional is right:/ Thanks for the compliment.:) Awesome, I'm glad you like the way Anna is acting:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Lol, thanksXD I thought that part was funny too, actually...;) (My sister and I have said that to each other before, so...yeah:P And also were told it was disgusting;) I guess parents have no sense of humor sometimes...XD)**

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa felt a tingling sensation in her fingertips, but no icicle appeared. _Well, at least they're not _really _back yet_, she thought. She looked at her hand anyway and was disappointed to find a barely detectable sheen of frost on her palm. _No, no, no, please don't come back yet…_ "It doesn't work," Elsa said.

"And it's lucky for you it didn't. You were going to shoot your ice at the window. You already broke the one in your room."

_And what of it? It's just glass. _Elsa quickly reached for her glove before her parents noticed the frost on her palm that she didn't know how to get rid of.

"Let me see your hand, Elsa."

Elsa sighed and reluctantly held out her bare hand. _Come on, just don't notice the frost. That's the worst I can do when I'm purposely trying to use my powers right now, so I'll still be safe around Anna a little while longer._

"There's frost on your hand. I think we should help you back to your room…"

"No!" Elsa exclaimed, and jerked her hand away. _Calm down, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel…no emotions right now. _"That is the absolute worst thing I can do right now. I'll still be safe for Anna to be around a little longer." She thought about adding, 'Besides, I don't think I can walk to my room right now anyway'; but then thought better of it since somebody had to have carried her into the guest room in the first place. Therefore, that was an invalid argument.

"How are you going to explain frost on your hand to Anna?"

"I won't have to. I'll keep the gloves on; I promise," Elsa said. _Please, please, please just let Anna come back now. Every minute that passes I'm burning daylight, wasting time I could be spending with Anna instead. Wait, "burning daylight"…the girl with ICE powers is thinking about burning daylight…_ Elsa found this thought amusing. She was the farthest thing from burning or hot. _Maybe I should be thinking, "freezing daylight" instead!_

"Elsa, what on earth is so amusing?"

"Mmm…nothing," Elsa said, making sure to wipe the amused expression off her face. She was sure her parents would _not_ think her wordplay was funny. "Well, can Anna come back now?"

As it turned out, no one had to answer that question because Anna came running into the room with a bowl of chocolates, jumped on the bed, and accidentally dumped half the chocolates on top of her and Elsa. "Um, oops? Sorry, Elsa!"

Elsa bit her tongue to keep from bursting out laughing. _Saved by crazy Anna. She came back on her own._ "It's fine, Anna."

"Where did you get an entire bowl of chocolate, Anna?" Idun asked.

"I might have kinda sorta gotten it out of the kitchen myself? Anyway, I got it for Elsa and me to share. I won't eat it _all_," Anna said. She started putting all the spilled chocolates back in the bowl.

"Well, don't feed a ton of chocolate to your sister. She's still sick."

"Chocolate'll make her feel better," Anna answered confidently.

Elsa spoke up, "I _am_ right here, you know. And if you please, I think I can tell if I've overdosed on chocolate." She took a piece out of the bowl and popped it in her mouth. "Thank you for the chocolate, Anna."

"You'reshwelcomesh," Anna said with her mouth full.

"Princesses do not talk with their mouth full, Anna," Idun scolded.

"Private sister time, if you please?" Elsa said.

Their parents left the room, but not before giving Elsa a warning look that Elsa knew was about her powers. _I know already. Do you think I want to put Anna in danger? Well, I don't. Frost would not hurt Anna anyway, and as long as I keep the gloves on, she won't even see that._ Elsa mentally stuck out her tongue before focusing on her present safe time with Anna. "Anna, would you like to play chess while we eat our chocolate?"

"Ishlikeshchess! Sure!" Anna said with another chocolate in her mouth. "There's a chessboard in the library. Will you mind if I go get it?"

Elsa allowed herself to giggle now that they were alone again. "You know, Anna, I _really _do not need to see your half-chewed chocolate! And that's fine; just please come right back."

* * *

Anna ran to the library and returned a minute later with the chessboard. "Which color do you want to be-white or black?"

"I don't care; you can pick." Elsa was used to playing chess against herself alone, as was Anna.

"Ok, I want black."

"Then I get to go first," Elsa said, trying to sit up so she could see the board and failing.

"Yeah, exactly!" Anna said with a smile. "Hey, Elsa, I think you need some help."

"I think maybe I do," Elsa said as Anna helped her sit up all the way. "Thank you, Anna…not just for this." _For not hating me; for being willing to spend time with me; for making me happy; for being you…_

Anna quickly gave Elsa a hug. "You don't have to thank me for anything."

_Yes, I do._ "Is…is it really all right to hug you back?" Elsa suddenly realized she had not purposely hugged anyone since she was eight.

"Why wouldn't it be? I wouldn't have hugged you if I didn't want you to hug me back. You're silly, Elsa," Anna said, trying to add a bit of humor to the situation.

Elsa hesitantly returned Anna's hug. She knew it was safe at the moment, but the whole experience was still foreign to her.

"Hey Elsa, can I braid your hair?" Anna asked suddenly.

"I guess so. It's a mess from yesterday, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, kind of. But I just wanted to fix it for you. Your hair is so pretty," Anna said.

"You think my hair is…pretty?" Elsa didn't particularly dislike her hair or anything, but she didn't think it was 'pretty', either. It was just there to her, although she knew it was a color that was hers and hers only, that was probably from her powers. Nobody she had seen in old family portraits had hair the same color as hers.

"Yeah, I do, and you're crazy if you don't agree." Anna undid the remains of Elsa's braid and began brushing out the tangles.

"Well, it's…_ok_, but I definitely don't think it's drop dead gorgeous or something. I mean, don't you think the color is a little weird?" Elsa asked. She eyed Anna's pigtail braids and added, "Will you do my hair like yours?"

"No to the first and yes to the second. I think it's cool you've got a unique shade of hair, and although I will gladly do pigtail braids, I don't know why you want to copy it. You're usually…uh…all elegant, and pigtail braids definitely aren't that!"

Elsa giggled, realizing the irony of Anna's 'cool' description of Elsa's hair. _Cooler than you know! I just wish I could tell you the reason…_ "I just want to be like you."

"_What_? I always wanted to be like YOU!" Anna said.

_No, you don't. You don't want to be like me or have uncontrollable ice powers. Of course, if our positions were reversed, maybe she would have figured it out by now…_ Elsa silently brushed a tear off her cheek and said nothing.

Anna quickly finished braiding Elsa's hair and pulled her into a hug again. "Elsa, I don't know what's the matter, but I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa's three quiet words could have just referred to fixing her hair, but as Elsa hoped, Anna figured otherwise. Elsa wasn't keen on expressing herself aloud clearly, nor did she think she really could even if she wanted to say _everything_ weighing on her mind.

The girls sat in silence for a minute until they went back and started their chess game.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Elsa said, "Checkmate."

"What? Oh, come on, Elsa, that's no fair! That was, like, the absolute shortest chess game EVER!" Anna complained.

Elsa laughed. "Actually, it isn't. Watch this." She moved all the pieces back to their original starting positions and showed Anna how to pull a checkmate in only a couple moves. "_That's_ the shortest chess game ever. Only, it will never, never work on most people because whoever's playing white has to be downright stupid…no offense to anyone. I figured that sequence of moves out awhile ago; I like playing against myself in my room."

"I like playing against myself too, actually! Except I think I need a LOT more practice before challenging you again. How long did our match last? I think it was like ten minutes!"

"Well, I _am_ three years older than you, and I've probably practiced more than you too…" Elsa's voice trailed off. _I've DEFINITELY practiced more than Anna, actually…stupid room situation, stupid powers, stupid a lot of other things…I've had lots of time to perfect chess skills…_

"Hmph. Can we play again?"

"Sure. May I make a suggestion to try looking farther ahead to what moves I make? It'll probably help. And-" Elsa stopped talking as she felt a film of frost on her hand underneath her glove. _Oh no, oh no…why now?! I'm not even really upset or anything…must have been what I was thinking about a minute ago. Conceal, don't feel; conceal; don't feel…_ She tried to will the frost to go, but it wouldn't. _I can't touch Anna anymore. It isn't safe._

"Elsa, what's wrong?" Anna's voice cut into Elsa's thoughts.

"N-Nothing…let's play, all right?" _Anna, just _please_ don't touch me. If I tell her that aloud, she'll start doing it anyway trying to prove a point. _Elsa was tempted to go back to her room, no matter how much the thought repulsed her, but she was certain that she couldn't make it on her own yet. _And I am not calling for Mom and Dad. Just…no._

"Don't believe you that it's nothing," Anna muttered, but she didn't press the issue further.

They started their second chess match, but Elsa was having trouble keeping her mind on the game. When only a few minutes had passed and Anna said, "Check," she was sure something was wrong.

"Elsa, what is going on? You totally beat me in no time before, and now you're making moves that even I can tell are silly. What. Is. The. Deal?"

"I guess I wasn't concentrating." Elsa pulled herself back to Anna and the game and made her next move. "There. I just captured your queen. Happy now?" She sounded flat and neutral. _You can't be emotional at all right now. Keep it in. Don't touch Anna._

"I don't know. I'm not talking about the game exactly…you're starting to act really strange. You sound a little like you did when our parents came in before, like you're trying to hold something inside," Anna said.

Elsa couldn't keep from saying, "Well, I am, ok? Stop asking me what's wrong! I'm fine!" _You just shouted at Anna…YOU JUST SHOUTED AT ANNA, the sister you've been shutting out for eight years. Why did I do that?! Stupid, stupid, stupid… And mean…_

"I will not! It's _wrong_ to keep stuff inside; it's _wrong_ to want to be sick so we can be together; you are _not_ fine! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I want to help, but I _can't_ if you won't tell me what's wrong! And you know what else is wrong? You shutting me out all this time without explaining why! It isn't fair! What are you so afraid of?" Anna exploded, then immediately regretted it when she saw Elsa's devastated expression.

Elsa was silent for a moment as both sad and angry tears streamed down her face. Anna's words hurt deeply because Elsa knew they were a hundred percent true, but she could do nothing about it. _Get it together. Conceal, don't feel…_ As quickly as the tears had come, Elsa managed to send them away. "Life isn't fair."

"What kind of cr-cryp-"

"Cryptic," Elsa prompted.

"Yeah, that's the word-cryptic response is that?!" Anna finished, although there was another word in her head that started with 'c' that she thought fit just as well, if not better.

"A truthful one," Elsa replied. "Do you really honestly think I like this situation any more than you do?"

"Well, no; you wouldn't have tried to go outside if you did. BUT WHY?! I WANT TO KNOW WHY!"

"Anna, I can't tell you why. All I can say is it's for our own safety, especially yours," Elsa said. _Do I dare say more? No, I can't…_

"BUT IT'S STUPID! Elsa, how many times have I got to say it to get it into your thick skull that YOU ARE NOT DANGEROUS?! I'll prove it, too!" Anna reached for Elsa to try to give her a hug.

Elsa scooted away and accidentally rolled off the bed right onto the floor, landing with a thump. "Don't touch me! I am dangerous, Anna; you have to believe me! I can't tell you anything else. And _please_ stop shouting; someone's going to come in here and want to know what's going on." _And put me back in my room again,_ Elsa finished to herself. _Should I really tell Anna why? I mean, what is the absolute worst thing that could happen if I did tell her the real reason? Do I dare do it? Maybe I should…no, I can't. What if it messes up Anna's memories or something?_

"I WILL NOT STOP! Somebody, and I think I know who, is putting DUMB IDEAS in your head and I've gotta fix it! And WHY CAN'T YOU-"

* * *

Anna's tirade was cut short when their parents walked in.

"Told you," Elsa said pointedly to Anna.

"What is all the noise and shouting in here for?" Agdar asked.

"And why is Elsa on the floor?" Idun asked.

"Well…um…wewerejusttalkingandwekindofgotinadisagreementandElsafelloffthebedand…well, yeah," Anna finished.

Elsa privately rolled her eyes, knowing Anna's 'explanation' made no sense whatsoever to their parents. "Let me explain. We were playing chess. We had a…disagreement. I fell off the bed. The end." She struggled to pull herself back onto the bed.

"Elsa, what did you do to your-"

"My hair?" Elsa interrupted her mother. "It. Is. My. Hair. Pigtail braids like Anna's. I like it like this."

"Princesses do not interrupt. And just what were you and Anna disagreeing over?"

_Tough luck_, Elsa thought. "It was nothing."

"It was not either nothing! It was 'cause I want to know why things are the way they are around here and Elsa wouldn't tell me!" Anna said.

"I can't tell you! Can you _please_ stop asking me?" Elsa asked.

"Sure, after either you or Mom or Dad tells me why," Anna shot back.

No one said anything. Anna stood with her hands on her hips, looking very annoyed; Elsa sat on the bed fiddling with one of her braids, making sure to keep herself void of expression; and their parents stood just inside the doorway glancing from one girl to the other. The seconds ticked by.

"Well?!" Anna broke the silence with the one question no one would answer.

"I daresay we should dump this topic and Anna and I can return to our chess game," Elsa tried to diffuse the situation.

"I think as Elsa is well enough to argue, she can go back to her room," Agdar said. "Can you make it down the hall on your own, or do you need help, Elsa?"

Elsa stared at him in annoyance. _You say I'm well enough to go back to my room; but then a second later, you admit I probably can't even walk down the hall without help. _"I would need help, but it doesn't matter because I am not going to my room right now," she said calmly.

"Don't be rude, Elsa."

_Keep calm. Don't explode. _"I'm not being rude. I'm stating a fact. I am not going to my room right now," Elsa repeated.

"You know we could just carry you down the hall instead."

"No, because you are not touching me," Elsa replied, surprising herself with her own quiet intensity. She sounded fierce but calm; she wasn't exploding; it was just a simple, unruffled refusal.

Anna glanced from her sister to her parents and back again. _Something goofy is going on…_

"Room, Elsa. I've had about enough of this." Agdar moved closer to pick Elsa up, and Elsa just stared unwaveringly at him.

"I mean it. Do not pick me up; do not touch me. I'm fine where I am," Elsa said firmly. _Stay calm, Elsa. _She genuinely did not want anyone touching her for safety purposes, but now she was just getting mad too.

"What are you going to do anyway?"

"Don't test me. I know I'm not _cold_ and _heartless_, but I also know I'm not _perfect_ and _angelic_, either." Elsa's voice had a slight sharpness to it now as she meaningfully tapped a finger on her other gloved hand. "I can be pushed over the edge."

"What edge, Elsa?" Anna asked innocently. She had absolutely no idea what Elsa was talking about.

"Anna, leave the room," Idun said.

Anna reluctantly left, but not without tossing a final, "I WANT TO KNOW WHY! And Elsa, I'm coming back," over her shoulder.

Elsa gave Anna a tiny smile before returning her focus on her parents. They had backed over to the door and shut it. _Good. Maybe they'll leave me alone now._

"Elsa, you aren't really going to freeze anything, are you?"

"Do you want to push me and find out? Look, I'm so, so tired of keeping this secret. It's too much for me. What is so bad if Anna knows about my powers? Or just people in general, for that matter? I agree that I need to stay away from everyone because it's not safe, but I'm sick of the clandestine part of it. Why can't I go downstairs late at night after everyone has gone to bed, for example? No one would be around, so that would be safe," Elsa said.

Elsa's sudden attitude change scared her parents a little. If Elsa really did mean her threat to freeze things, she could become very dangerous. "Elsa…be reasonable. What would our citizens think of the crown princess having ice powers she can't control? You have to concede that's a bad idea. They would call you names or worse."

_I guess that _is_ true._ "I am still not going back to my room right now," Elsa said, backing down a little but not completely.

"Very well, but you need to go back to your room the second you're able to make it on your own. Also, your hair goes up when you're better."

_Dad gave in a little too quickly. They're _scared_ of me,_ Elsa realized. She tried to convince herself she didn't care, but the realization hurt. _I guess it's my own fault for making a not-so-subtle threat like that, even if I didn't really intend to follow through with it…I don't think I did, anyway._ "I will; I promise. I don't promise about my hair, though." _Although I think I have an idea for _that_ that will please Mom and Dad and still remind me of Anna. I still like a single braid best, though._

"Do we have your word?"

"You have my word. I don't want to hurt Anna. By the way…I want Anna back in the interim." Elsa forced herself to remain composed and calm. _I will go back to my luxury prison when I'm able, but it still isn't fair. I wish there were another solution to this…_

* * *

After Elsa's parents left and Anna came back, Elsa finally allowed herself to drop the impassive expression. "Thank you for coming back, Anna. I appreciate it."

"No problem. But I'm still mad 'cause you guys won't tell me anything!"

Elsa sighed. "I can't tell you. Let's just change the subject, ok?" _Come on, Anna; please…I feel a little more at ease now but I don't think it's safe for me to get emotional._

"All right," Anna said grudgingly. "Why don't we play chess some more?"

"Sounds good."

They played the rest of the day; sometimes having real matches; but mostly Elsa showed Anna some of the strategies she knew.

"You're going to be a chess expert next time you challenge someone!" Elsa quipped.

"Do I detect a slight note of pride there, sister dear?" Anna teased.

"Maybe a little!"

* * *

Late that night after Anna had fallen asleep next to her, Elsa dragged herself out of bed and down the hall to her room. _I have to do this,_ Elsa reminded herself. She hadn't intended to go back to her room that night, but she could feel her powers coming back stronger now, and she just didn't trust herself around Anna any longer. _I'll write Anna a note,_ she thought tiredly. Elsa barely had the strength to stand at all, having used up all of her energy getting herself to her room. She lit the kerosene lamp on her desk and collapsed into the chair. _Ok, let's see…'Dear Anna, I'm sorry I left in the middle of the night, but I had to. Please forgive me. Love, Elsa.' It's too short, but I don't know what else to say…_

Elsa dragged herself back over to the door, but it had automatically locked behind her when she'd shut it. _They didn't waste any time changing those lock_s, she thought bitterly. Now she had no way to get the note to Anna. She could go through the secret passages, but that was too far for her to walk in her condition. She had barely trusted herself to make it down the hall and back.

A slightly devious plan popped into her head. _I'll just freeze the stupid lock open. So there._ Pleased with her idea, Elsa slipped the glove off her right hand and quickly froze and broke the lock. Elsa smirked to herself. _So I _can_ get out of here._ She went down the hall as fast as her exhausted self would let her, left the note in Anna's hand, and returned to her room. After shutting the door behind her, Elsa collapsed into bed.

**A/N: Ok, Elsa's 'safe time' with Anna is officially over. :/**

**Please let me know if everyone is still believably in character, especially Elsa. I mean, everyone knows she has FULL rights to be mad, but I don't want her going overboard the other way, either...so yeah...:P**

**I'll update as soon as I have the next chapter written. I'm now updating as I write, so I'm sorry if there's a longer time between chapters. I still have 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna' going too, but I have several more chapters prewritten for that, so I'm not quite as focused on finishing that at the moment. (although I do know how that will end too;))**

**Thanks for reading!:)**


	8. I Can't

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's favorited/followed and/or reading but not reviewing!:)**

**FanGirlJen-I THINK that was a good 'wow'...so thanks:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Lol, you're welcome.;) I couldn't have Elsa do that because Anna isn't supposed to know about her powers yet.:P OUAT is where I got the freeze the lock idea, actually. I'm no chess expert, but I'd say aim for the queen first, because every time I've done that to MY sister, I beat her.;) I thought it was a good metaphor, too-and yeah, I agree about Elsa.;) She's not stupid.:)**

**Lindstrom-I thought Elsa would still be hurt knowing that, no matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise.:/ Elsa's rebellious/angry streak is now mostly banned to her thoughts.:) Hopefully that's more movie character accurate. **

**bananas-rule-2015-Thank you for the suggestion, but Elsa can't tell Anna about her powers yet because I'm keeping this in canon. Anna comes very close to figuring it out in this chapter though!:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-"We're freezing daylight!" Whatddya say we tell that line to OUR parents sometime, sis?XDXD They'll probably roll their eyes and say we're crazy.;) Aah, whatever. Burning daylight, freezing daylight, whatever.:P Thanks for the review, sis:)**

**On to the story! I hope this was worth the wait!:)**

Elsa awoke early the next morning. She blinked irritably at the all-too-familiar surroundings of her room. _I sentenced myself back to permanent isolation by coming back here last night. But I _can_ bust the lock again if I want to, although I shouldn't do that._ _I had to come back here though…it wasn't safe for me to be around Anna any longer. _Elsa comforted herself with the thought that she had done it for Anna. Whatever other negative feelings she had swirling inside, they did not affect her decisions regarding her sister. It was _not_ fair that she had to stay in here all the time, but she couldn't think of a better solution, either. Well, except for running off far, far away somewhere; but that wasn't logical. _After all, I'm the crown princess of Arendelle…I can't just run away from my future responsibilities. Wait, when I become queen in the hopefully very distant future, what am I supposed to do then? Rule Arendelle from behind closed doors?_

Elsa continued thinking as she got up and pulled a dark blue dress out of her closet. She felt almost a hundred percent better now, which was both good and bad depending on how she looked at it. _Good because I don't feel sick anymore, and bad because now I have to worry about controlling those powers again. And about the original topic…Dad had a point when he said our citizens wouldn't take kindly to the crown princess having ice powers she can't control. What would I do?! You can't conduct trading policies, alliances, and other things like that strictly via letters. You have to meet in person…that could be a disaster. I could ruin Arendelle entirely if I were queen and made a "little" ice mistake in public…_ Elsa made a face when she realized her frantic thoughts were causing her to leave a patch of ice on the floor. _Stop that, Elsa. Get it together. That was something you don't even have to worry about for hopefully decades. _She undid her Anna pigtails from the day before and brushed out her hair. Pausing in front of the mirror for a moment, Elsa smiled and made two tiny braids, one on each side. _That's my little touch of Anna. _Then she twisted her hair into a bun. _And that'll please Mom and Dad…although I don't know why I care. I should be allowed to do my hair however I want. I guess I care because they're my parents…_ Elsa _was_ pleased with the ending results, though. She would still prefer a single braid, but if her parents wanted her hair to be up; then she was going to have a secret reminder of Anna along with it. _Compromise for everyone._

She headed over to the still-shattered window. All the shards of glass had been cleaned up, but the window itself had not been replaced yet. _Changing the lock before replacing the window…seriously? Whatever, I'm not going to let that bother me. Besides, as long as the window is missing, I can have some outside air in here._ Elsa was greatly tempted to climb right out the window and sit on the roof out of spite and also simply because there was a great view. _After all, that's not the forest. The roof isn't going to have weird creepy people on it like there were in the forest…_ She shuddered, remembering the people that had ruined both her outside time and her conversations with Anna; and had, quite honestly, scared her half to death. _I wish I _had_ frozen them. Not actually hurt them or anything, just frozen their feet to the ground or something. Or made an ice wall that separated me from them. But no, I had to freak out and lose control instead. Wait, why am I thinking about how to _fight_ with my dangerous powers? Maybe I really am a monster. Only a horrible person would be thinking like this after the same ability aka disability nearly killed her sister. And I can't control it anyway, so it doesn't make much difference. … I will not think about this anymore. I won't._

Elsa ripped her thoughts away from that distasteful inner monologue and went back to the roof. _You know what, Elsa? Go on out on the roof. Let whatever happens happen. Except…_ Now she was thinking about something else. Could she really climb out there safely and come back in without falling? After all, she hadn't even climbed a tree since she was eight. _I didn't even try to climb a tree when I was outside in the forest. Guess I should have, even if it wasn't exactly a proper thing to do…then again, going out on the roof isn't either._ Elsa looked carefully outside. There was a ledge outside the window, wide enough to sit on. She wouldn't have to get onto the actual roof unless she wanted to. Without thinking her actions through any further, she climbed out the window onto the ledge. _Ok, maybe this wasn't such a good idea,_ she thought as she looked down towards the ground. _I think I pulled an Anna move here, assuming she still acts like she did when we were little. How high am I? Thirty feet? I don't know._ Elsa wasn't scared of heights, per se, but the prospect of falling from that high was unnerving. Still, the view from the ledge while outside was amazing, especially for a girl who hadn't been outside for eight years, not including the few afternoons in the forest. V-e-r-y carefully standing up, Elsa moved down the ledge until she had cleared the edge of her room's window. _Stupid room. This is so amazing out here! _Elsa smiled as she gazed off into the distance at the North Mountain. The sight of the mountain was tantalizing; she still remembered her dream from a few nights before and still wondered what the summit was like.

She was closing her eyes and letting herself daydream about being on the summit when her sharp ears heard a knock on the door back in her room. _Oops. It's time for breakfast, and I'm out here on the ledge…_ Elsa began slowly edging her way back to the window. She heard the door to her room open and Gerda say "Sorry, Princess Elsa, I thought the door was locked…wait, you aren't even in here. Where are you?" Elsa didn't dare shout that she was out on the ledge. _Come on, self, just a little bit farther…_

Gerda stuck her head outside and stared at Elsa. _Elsa…on the roof. Only Anna does that…_

A very startled Elsa began to slip and grabbed at the slanted portion of the roof…and pulled off a shingle. _Oh no, oh no, oh no…don't fall, Elsa. Calm down._ "Good morning, Gerda. I was just…" Elsa's voice trailed off. _Ok, I was standing on the ledge daydreaming about the North Mountain. Yeah, not saying that._

"Princess, do you need help?"

"No! No, don't touch me! I can make it…I think." Elsa edged closer to the window. _Almost there…_

Without warning, Elsa's foot slipped, Gerda reached for Elsa's arm, and Elsa jerked sideways so she couldn't be touched. Elsa tumbled through the window into her room, landing hard on the floor. She smiled sheepishly at Gerda and said, "I guess I'm not sure-footed enough to climb out there."

"You scared me to death! You almost fell, and you wouldn't accept help…are you all right?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. My powers are almost completely back now…it's not safe for anyone to touch me anymore. That's why I came back in here late last night," Elsa explained as she got to her feet. _Am I all right? I think so…wait…_ Elsa realized one wrist was bothering her. _I must have landed on it the wrong way…_

Gerda frowned, but she had figured as much. "Are you all right, though? You landed on the floor pretty hard."

"I'm fine." Elsa clasped her hands behind her back, ignoring the pulsing ache in her wrist. She didn't want to tell Gerda about it; she'd want to look at it and that wouldn't be safe.

"Well, here's your breakfast, princess. By the way, what happened to the lo-wait, Princess Elsa, you aren't fine. You're wincing for some reason. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Elsa made a face. She thought she'd been doing a good job hiding her aching wrist. "Well…if I tell you, you have to promise not to try to touch it or anything. It isn't safe…and if you were going to ask me about the lock, I broke it last night taking a note back to Anna so she'd know why I abandoned her." _Again,_ she added to herself.

"I won't try to touch it, princess. Maybe I could tell you what to do for whatever it is yourself." _Elsa broke-well, she most likely froze-the lock open to take a note to Anna…she had to actually break out of her own room…_

"I think I twisted my wrist funny when I landed because it really aches," Elsa explained. She started backing away when Gerda came closer to her. "You promised not to touch me!"

"All right, all right, princess. Sorry…ok, can you move it at all?"

Elsa experimented moving it. "I can, but it hurts to do that," she said, holding her wrist with her other hand. _Actually it hurts a lot, but I'm not going to say that…_

"It's probably sprained, then. Will you please let me look at it?" Gerda asked.

"No! I might hurt you! Just tell me what to do for it. I can handle it," Elsa said. _Why was I stupid enough to try climbing out there? Now I'm stuck with a sprained wrist that I, if I'm being honest, have no idea what to do for…_

"Princess Elsa, you have to wrap it to give it support until it's better. How are you going to do that yourself? Please let me help you," Gerda said.

"I don't know, but I'll figure something out. You can't touch me; it's not safe. If I'd done it yesterday, that would have been another story…but then again, I wasn't physically able to climb outside like that yesterday, either…never mind, I'm probably making no sense whatsoever," Elsa replied. _Definitely making no sense whatsoever…_

The conversation was interrupted when Anna knocked on the door with her signature knock.

And the door drifted open because of the broken lock.

"Oh wow, Elsa, your door wasn't locked!" Anna exclaimed. "Hey, what happened to that window?"

"Um…" Elsa thought quickly. "Something ran into it." _Well, something did run into it…an icicle…_ "Anna, please, you have to go. It's not safe anymore." _And there's a puddle of water over here from that patch of ice I accidentally made earlier…oh, no…Anna, please don't come over here…_

"Well, duh something ran into it! What exactly happened? And why'd you leave in the middle of the night? I got your note, but I still don't get it," Anna said. "And what happened to your wrist? You're holding it funny, like you hurt it."

Elsa looked helplessly at Gerda. _I have no idea what to say. "I threw an icicle at the window"? "I left because I might freeze you"? "I almost fell off the ledge outside"?_

"Princess Anna, why don't you come back later?" Gerda asked, steering Anna out of the room.

"No, I wanna stay now! I'm not letting Elsa stay in her room all alone again! I want my questions answered!"

Elsa sighed. _I can answer one of Anna's questions, anyways… _"Ok, Anna…I fell and sprained my wrist, that's all."

"Then we gotta get you to the castle infirmary! The doctor'll fix it right up for you," Anna said, running towards Elsa, who immediately backed into the far corner.

"Anna, no! Stay away! I'm-" Elsa stopped talking when she noticed what Anna was looking at.

Anna stopped and eyed the puddle of water on the floor. "Where'd that come from? It isn't dumping or even drizzling anymore."

"Perhaps it's left over from the storm," Gerda jumped in quickly.

_Yeah, Hurricane Elsa. That's the storm that did it, _Elsa thought. "Anna, please go. It's not safe around me anymore. _Please._"

"Elsa, I thought we were starting to make a little progress. You let me hug you yesterday. In fact, _you_ even hugged _me_ back! And now you're backed into the corner practically shaking again, like you did when I barged in here the other day on your birthday. WHAT is going on?! Something is weird…you're scared of something, and whatever that something is doesn't apply to when you're sick," Anna said. _Something's fishy…_

_Yeah, because it doesn't exist when I'm sick, at least that sort of sick anyway._ Elsa stayed standing in the corner and said nothing.

"And you know what else? I don't believe you that something just ran into the window."

Elsa eyes went wide as Anna kept going. _Did she guess what really happened? That I threw an icicle at the window? Where that puddle of meltwater on the floor came from?_

"I think you busted it on purpose sometime during that rainstorm. Mom and Dad wouldn't let me near your room after they found you in here unconscious. I think they didn't want me to know about whatever happened in here. What did you throw at it? A book? A chair?" Anna asked curiously.

Elsa relaxed slightly. _Anna didn't guess what really happened. But Anna still needs to leave! It's not safe in here anymore…_

* * *

Anna turned toward the door when she heard someone in the doorway. _We are so busted…no way to get out of it this time… _"Oh, uh, hi Mom, hi Dad. I was just, um…talking to Elsa. Yeah, just talking to Elsa. Why is she all scared again now that she's better? Elsa won't let me near her again. Oh, and she hurt her wrist and she won't go down to the castle infirmary to take care of it."

"Anna, _please_, I'm fine. Please don't a-ask anym-more…I love you; it's j-just not s-safe. Please go…" Elsa tried to keep her voice steady but couldn't. _So much for staying emotionless and impassive in front of Mom and Dad. Anna, please, please, _please_ just stop asking questions…I can't take it anymore…_

"How did you get in here, Anna?" Idun asked.

"The door just opened when I knocked on it…"

"Why was Anna able to push the door open just by knocking on it, Elsa?" Agdar asked, pulling Anna out into the hall. "Go on down to the dining hall for breakfast, Anna."

Knowing it was useless to argue further, Anna sent a virtual hug towards Elsa before disappearing down the hall.

_Thank you, Anna. _Anna's simple gesture lifted Elsa's spirits a little. "You might say I picked the lock, in a way," Elsa said. "I came back here late last night when I felt it wasn't safe for me to be around Anna anymore. I didn't want Anna to think I abandoned her for no reason, so I wrote her a note and left it in the guest room in her hand."

"What exactly did this note say? And just how did you 'pick' the lock?" Agdar went and looked at the broken lock closely. "This lock wasn't just picked. It's completely broken, Elsa. What did you do to it?"

"My note said 'Dear Anna, I'm sorry I left in the middle of the night, but I had to. Please forgive me. Love, Elsa'. That's it." _No, Dad, I didn't go and blab about my real problem in the note._ "And if you must know, I froze the lock open," Elsa added.

"Tell me you didn't really freeze the lock open…"

_I could, but then I'd be lying._ Elsa stayed quiet. _And my wrist hurts. La la la, not going to think about it…_

"Elsa, the door is supposed to lock for a reason. Now the whole lock needs to be replaced again," Agdar said.

_Big deal. Next time leave it so I can lock it from the inside, and I wouldn't have tried to bust the lock in the first place._ Elsa still said nothing.

"Elsa, what was Anna talking about when she said you hurt your wrist? Are you all right?" Idun asked.

"I'll be fine." Elsa forced a smile and clasped her hands behind her back again.

"I believe Princess Elsa sprained her wrist when she tumbled inside from out on the ledge," Gerda said.

Elsa shot Gerda an irritated look that said, 'What did you have to go and say that for?!'

"Elsa, what were you doing out on the ledge?" Agdar asked.

"Looking at the view," Elsa said, which was true.

"Elsa, you can look at the view from _inside_. It's bad enough Anna climbs on the roof. Now we have you doing it too!" Idun said.

"No roof climbing. And don't break the lock again. Also, don't go and make yourself ill on purpose like that ever again. There will be consequences next time," Agdar added.

_It's not like there's much more you can punish me with. I'm already locked in here alone all the time; now actually literally…_ Elsa said nothing._ And there goes my plan to do the sick thing again to temporarily get rid of my powers so I can safely spend time with Anna…_

"What do you propose to do about your wrist?"

"Nothing?" Elsa asked hopefully. "I'm hungry; I want to eat my breakfast now." She sat down at her desk to eat, gingerly resting her aching wrist in her lap.

"Princess, you can't just leave it alone. It'll take forever to heal that way, not to mention you might injure it worse in the meantime," Gerda fussed.

"Gerda is right, Elsa. Either you let Gerda take care of it for you, or you do it yourself and let her see it afterwards," Idun said.

Elsa thought for a moment. _Well, that's no contest…_ "Take care of it myself."

* * *

An hour later, a very annoyed and disgusted Elsa was finally able to sit down and actually finish eating breakfast. It had taken her several tries to get her wrist wrapped correctly to Gerda's satisfaction; which was made worse by the fact that Elsa was terrified she was going to freeze Gerda or something since she had to show Gerda her bare hand. Elsa sighed in relief once _that_ whole mess was over and she finally had the room to herself again. While she hated being locked in her room all the time, she did _not_ like being around people. Elsa still couldn't figure out if that was because she was afraid she was going to hurt someone, or because she really didn't like being around people. _Stupid clumsy me. Why did I have to literally FALL back inside like that? I'm definitely not trying to go out on the ledge again. Not that it matters, since I was forbidden to anyway, but still._

Elsa stopped eating for a moment when she heard odd noises coming from her door. "Who is it?"

"It's just Kai, Princess Elsa. Your father said the lock needed to be replaced again…I'll be right back. I forgot a tool."

_Great, just great. New lock already…_ A mischievous idea popped into her head. Elsa waltzed over to the door, shut it completely, and purposely iced over the door and doorframe surrounding where the lock should go. Kai already knew about her powers, so it wasn't like she was telling someone about them. _There. New lock, indeed. And I'm not 'breaking the lock again' since it's already broken, so I'm not really doing anything bad…right? Well, not _too_ bad…_ She knew that the ice would eventually crack or melt, so it wasn't like she had done something permanent. Elsa went back to her breakfast and waited to see the reaction to the mysteriously 'stuck' door.

She didn't have to wait long.

Five minutes later…"Princess Elsa, what did you do? The door wouldn't even stay closed earlier, and now it's stuck."

Elsa giggled as she heard banging noises that were Kai trying to get the door open. "The clue is in the temperature!" she said. _Well, I can't feel temperatures at all, but I know the door must be cold where the ice is…_

"The clue is in the temperature? Oh, wait…" Kai finally realized what Elsa had done. "Princess, did you ice over the doorframe and lock on your side of the door?"

Elsa nodded before remembering Kai couldn't see her. _That was silly. _"I did, yes. It's a free lock!"

Kai chuckled on the other side of the door. _At least she's happy enough to make a joke, anyways…_ "Princess Elsa, that was a good joke, but I can't put the new lock in with the door iced shut…"

Elsa's mood dropped. "I know…it's not like the ice is permanent. It'll melt or crack eventually, sometime soon."

"For your sake, I hope it does. Somehow I don't think your parents will think that joke was as funny as I did…"

"No thanks for reminding me." _I didn't mean any harm, but maybe that wasn't such a good idea._ "I'll try to pull the ice off, I suppose. Will you please move away from the door in case this works?" Elsa asked.

"Of course, princess."

Elsa waited until she heard Kai move away from the door. Then she went over to the door and began trying to yank the ice off. Elsa let out a yelp when her efforts made her sprained wrist hurt worse. _Ow, ow, ow. This is hopeless. How am I supposed to get that ice off? I guess this is what I get the one time I act on impulse. _She examined the ice closely. _I wonder if I could make it crack and shatter instead of just pulling it off…_ Elsa brought her good fist down hard on the ice, hoping it would crack. It did. Elsa retreated to the opposite side of the room before saying, "Ok, try opening the door again, Kai. I think the ice cracked enough to open the door."

The door creaked loudly, but the door did open. "How did you get the ice off, Princess Elsa?" Kai asked.

"I didn't…I punched it so it would crack," Elsa explained. "Evidently it worked."

"I think you're turning into your sister, princess. That sounds like something Princess Anna would do," Kai said, giving Elsa a smile.

"Really?!" Elsa's face lit up at the prospect of being like her sister. _Then Anna hasn't changed a bit since she was five. She always acted on impulse; anytime, all the time, about everything. Anna was impulsive the night everything was ruined…_ Elsa struggled to dump that particular memory. She remembered her eight-year-old self shouting 'Wait! Slow down!', but five-year-old Anna hadn't been paying attention. Then Elsa had tried to keep with her, but she'd missed and hit Anna instead. _If only I'd managed to be faster…or if I hadn't slipped. I had _never_ slipped on my own ice until that moment. But no, that had to be the first time…and the last time, too…I've never slipped on my ice from losing control since then, either. Come on, Elsa; think about something else. Anything but that. _Elsa watched as Kai took the broken lock out completely and began putting in the new one. That lock might be what was going to lock her in, but she was curious on how it was actually put together. "Could I put the lock in myself? You could tell me how to put it in. And don't worry; I'm not going to break it on purpose again. I just want to know how it works."

Kai looked at her with a puzzled expression. _Why on earth would she want to help put the lock in? She knows it's going to be reversed so the lock is on the outside…_ "I'll be happy to let you do that, although I don't see why you would want to."

"Thank you!"

The next twenty minutes were spent with Elsa fiddling with the lock while Kai stood several feet away explaining how to put it in. Of course, it would have been easier if Elsa would let him stand next to her to explain things; but Elsa was adamant that he not get too close to her. "There, I think it's in correctly now," Elsa said, starting to shut the door to test it.

"NO! Princess Elsa, don't shut that!"

Elsa stopped in her tracks with her hand on the doorknob. "I just want to see if I did it right, that's all." Elsa sounded confused. "Oh…right, I forgot. If I _did _do it right and I shut the door, it will automatically lock and you won't be able to leave. In that case, you go in the hall and then I'll test it."

Kai obliged, taking the tools with him, and Elsa shut the door behind him. She tugged at the doorknob, but it had automatically locked, just like it was supposed to. "I think I did it right," Elsa said wryly. _Ok, I just voluntarily locked myself in here with no way out. That was stupid. Why did I do that?_

"Well, I don't know if you want to hear this or not, but you evidently installed it exactly right, Princess Elsa," Kai said from out in the hall.

"I don't know if I want to hear that or not either," Elsa answered ruefully from inside. _I'm pleased I put it in right, but I'm not pleased in the least that I have no way to unlock that door anymore, even if I want to._

"I suppose I'll be leaving, princess."

Elsa said goodbye from inside and picked up the broken lock that had been left on the floor by the door. She was still fascinated with all the mechanical components within the lock. _This one is identical to the new one on the door. It automatically locks and can only be unlocked with a key from the outside. I wonder if it _is_ possible to pick it open without breaking it…_ Elsa had genuinely wanted to put the lock in herself simply out of curiosity, but now she was wondering if her new knowledge might allow her to get the door open. _I don't know what the point of that would be, though. I can't leave my room anyway…it's not safe. Well, I guess it'd be safe at night, but I don't want to get in trouble again either. Who knows what would happen next time? I might get sent to the dungeons or something. _Elsa giggled to herself. _Nah, Mom and Dad wouldn't do that to me. I know they're scared of me and stuff; but I don't think they'd put me down there. You're really silly sometimes, Elsa; you know that?_ She decided to mess with the broken lock for awhile just for curiosity's sake. _Besides,_ Elsa thought, _if it's possible to pick the lock from inside, at least I'll have the knowledge that I'm capable of doing so even if I have no intentions to. I won't feel so much like I'm in a cage._

Five minutes of tinkering later, Elsa resigned herself to the knowledge that there was no way to open that lock from inside without completely breaking it-or, in her case, freezing it-again, which she had promised not to do. _Stupid lock! _Elsa hurled the broken lock out the still-missing window in disgust. She couldn't help feeling just a _little _self-satisfied when she saw it smashed to smithereens in the courtyard.

* * *

Elsa's disgust at the whole lock thing abruptly ended when she heard Anna knocking on her door.

"Hi again, Elsa!" Anna tried opening the door and couldn't. "I guess that dumb lock got replaced already. Can't you let me in? I just wanna talk to you like we did the last two days. And I still want to know what the problem is! Something's fishy about this whole thing!"

"I _can't_ open the door. And please quit asking me what the problem is." Elsa's words came out sharper than she'd intended. _I REALLY can't open the door now…_

"What do you mean you can't open the door? You mean you _won't_ open the door for some reason. And I'll quit asking when you or Mom or Dad TELL ME WHY!"

Elsa clenched her fists and looked around for something to pound on that she wouldn't ruin. _Anna doesn't get it. I really cannot open that door no matter how much I want to. I'm locked in! I can't open it!_ She pounced on the pillows on her bed and vented her feelings out on those. Ice began spreading on the ceiling above her, but Elsa didn't notice.

"Oh yeah…did you get your wrist taken care of?" Anna asked from the other side of the door.

That made Elsa realize that beating up on the pillows wasn't such a good idea with her sprained wrist. _That was a stupid thing to do, Elsa. It hurts, doesn't it? _"Shut up," Elsa said aloud to her thoughts as she held her throbbing wrist with her other hand.

"I will not shut up! What'd you tell me to shut up for?!" Anna exclaimed.

"I didn't tell you to shut up!" Elsa shot back.

"You did too! I clearly heard you say 'shut up', and I know you're the only one in there. So you must have said it to me!"

_Oops. I must have said 'shut up' to my thoughts out loud…_ "Anna, I was just talking to myself. Not you," Elsa tried to explain.

"You told yourself to shut up…yeah, I'm not buying it. Do you want me to go away?"

"No," Elsa answered. _You can talk to me all day if you want to. Just leave if someone's coming, that's all._

"Well, um…can I come in then? I'll even stay way over on one side of the room if you want me to," Anna offered.

Elsa took a deep breath. "Anna, you need to get it through your head that I cannot open that door. I really can't." _Anna, please understand…_

"How is it that you actually can't open the door? You hurt one wrist, not both. Therefore you can open the door. Please? I know you're scared of people touching you for some reason again now that you're better, so I'll just stay on the other side of the room. That way, at least we can still talk face-to-face," Anna said.

_That's not it, Anna. I CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR! It's locked on the outside…_ Elsa didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. _I couldn't let Anna in right now anyway…she'd see all those icicles dangling from the ceiling. _She gave the threatening-looking icicles on the ceiling a nasty glare. _Those things almost scare _me_, and I'm the one that made them, even if it was subconsciously. _Elsa realized the icicles' menacing appearance was because they had appeared when she was angry. The ones that appeared when she was scared or upset weren't quite so disturbing-looking. _That is so creepy._ Elsa made a private promise to herself that 1)she would try her best to tamp her anger down more than ever from now on; and 2)if she failed, she was _not_ going to look at the icy results afterwards.

"And I still want to know why! I mean; this is ridiculous! I know you're scared for some reason, and I think mad too, since I definitely heard you say 'shut up'. What's going on that no one will tell me?!"

"I CAN'T TELL YOU!" Elsa couldn't hold it in any longer. The physical manifestations of Elsa's conflicted emotions appeared as all the ice on the ceiling came crashing down on the floor. Elsa ducked under her arms as shattered icicles rained onto the floor around her. _What did I do?!_ She looked frantically around her room. _It looks like an ice bomb exploded in here._ Elsa was even more troubled when she realized she was standing in a small ice-free circle in the center of the room. _I made a dangerous mess all over the room, and it didn't touch me at all?!_ She was glad the ice hadn't landed on her; but it was disturbing that she had seemingly made that huge mess "on purpose" since the ice missed her entirely._ It must be because it's _my_ ice…it somehow knows not to hurt me, I guess. Either that, or I subconsciously directed it away from myself. _

"What was all that loud crashing in there, Elsa?" Anna asked.

_I just made a huge mess and dropped ice all over the place, that's what_, Elsa thought. "I dropped something."

"What, a ton of bricks? Come on, Elsa, what happened in there?" Anna asked.

Elsa bit her lip and said nothing. There really wasn't a logical reason she could give Anna. _For goodness sakes, the _truth_ isn't logical. "Well, I got mad and dropped ice off the ceiling, Anna." Yeah, that just makes loads of sense-not! I can't tell Anna that, and even if I could, it doesn't sound believable anyway…_ She heard footsteps coming down the hall and promptly said, "Anna, you need to go-_now._ Someone's coming."

Anna turned to see her mother coming down the hall. _How does Elsa hear so much from in there?!_ "Bye, Elsa! See you later!" She took off running to her own room.

Elsa heard her mother ask her what the loud crashing had come from. "May I come in?"

_It's not like I have much say in the matter. I can't control whether you unlock that door or not._ "I don't care, but be prepared to see a huge mess," Elsa said, and went to the opposite side of the room, easily making her way through the slippery shards of ice all over the floor. Elsa bit her lip as she heard the lock click open.

"Goodness gracious, what happened in here?" Idun asked, taking in the sheer amount of ice shards on the floor.

Elsa gave a slightly obnoxious reply. "I dropped some things."

"Now Elsa, what really happened? There are little pieces of ice all over the floor. Usually the floor or whatever the material happens to be is solid ice if you lose control. Explanation, please."

"There were icicles all over the ceiling. I got mad and they…fell everywhere," Elsa said truthfully. _Please believe me. That's the truth. I myself don't know exactly why that happened._

"Did you do it on purpose?"

"No! Why would I make this huge mess in my room on purpose?" Elsa forced herself not to cry when she realized Idun had backed all the way out of her room back into the hallway. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…Mom's scared of me. She thinks I did it on purpose. Because I admitted it happened when I was angry…_

"I don't know, Elsa. You have to admit it's rather strange. Have you _ever_ made this particular type of ice mess before? I've never seen anything like it."

"I've never seen anything like it before, either. Honest! I don't know how I did it!" Elsa cried.

"The floor, Elsa…"

Elsa looked down to see ice forming under her feet. _Conceal, don't feel…_ The ice didn't stop spreading. "I'm trying, but it's not working!" It didn't help that she noticed her mother had moved to the far side of the hallway. _Now I'm really, really trying to do what I'm supposed to, and it's not working. I'm just not good enough…I can't fix this myself… _Elsa couldn't take the sight of her mother in the hallway, trying not to look scared, but not succeeding. Idun may have fooled someone else besides Elsa; but Elsa was good at people-reading. Right that second, Elsa wished with all her heart she wasn't. Elsa ran across the room, not caring about all the ice shards, and slammed the door shut. "I'm sorry your oldest daughter is such an abnormal freak. I can't help it, ok?!" To ensure no one could come in and bother her, Elsa took off her gloves and purposely sealed the entire door and doorframe shut with ice before slipping them back on. _There, nobody'll be coming in here for a long, long while until that melts._ Then she threw herself on the bed and cried.

**A/N: Um...so I guess Elsa's really upset again.:/ Don't ask me why Elsa decided she wanted to put the lock in herself.:P I thought the mechanics of it would be interesting to her since "my" Elsa likes drawing blueprints, and we know canon Elsa definitely likes geometry and builds flawless ice palaces.:) So yeah, IDK...:P**

**Anyway, I'd love feedback whether it's "EWW THAT WAS HORRIBLE!" or "EEK THAT WAS AMAZING!":)**

**Next chapter coming soon:)**


	9. As Time Crawls By

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Yeah, Elsa's decision to go out on the window ledge wasn't exactly smart, I guess.:P (Although to be quite honest, I'm calling myself stupid then because I climb on the roof all the time and read books up there...;) Of course, MY roof isn't 30-some feet off the ground. More like 10 at most, I think) I've never heard the song before, but it sure sounds fitting! Uh, Elsa is NOT finding out about that. She doesn't need that knowledge on top of everything else.:/ (Her parents are doing it as a "precaution", not to carry out at the present.) :)**

**FanGirlJen-Thanks:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Anna WILL find out about Elsa's powers eventually.:) (I think I just gave everyone a clue where the story's going to end by saying that, lol:)) I feel sorry for them too. Probably more sorry than I should considering that Elsa and Anna are movie characters.:/**

**Lindstrom-Lol, that's a great term-"inner Anna".:) Elsa's thoughts are alternately depressing, angry, funny, etc...I just realized exactly how conflicted she really is on the inside.:/ You're noticing more about "my" version of Elsa than I do myself.:P :)**

**JR-Elsa's parents ARE jerks in my opinion.:) 'Conceal don't feel' is horrible advice to give to an 8 year old. And keeping Elsa in her room was dumb too.:/ Ok, I shall quit expressing how much I dislike the parents now.;) (Don't worry; they aren't going to be around forever.)**

**On to the story!:) I think this chapter came out a little more...depressing than some of the others, so I'm just warning you.:P**

A few minutes later, Anna came back to Elsa's door. She had heard Elsa's final words before Elsa had slammed the door shut, because she'd been, well, sneaking back down the hall to Elsa. Now Anna put her ear to the door, trying to hear what was going on inside Elsa's room. All Anna could hear were Elsa's muffled sobs. _What's going on? Why did Elsa call herself an abnormal freak? And now she's crying…_ Anna knocked softly on the door using her signature rhythmic knock.

"Anna…please go away…not safe…" Elsa managed to say. _Don't ask me 'why' questions again, please…_

More than anything, Anna just wanted her questions answered and comfort Elsa somehow. But Elsa said for Anna to go away. _Elsa needs a hug. When she had that icky dream the other night, she eventually calmed down when I did that. We didn't have to say a word to each other. Maybe she'll open the door for that._ "Elsa…if you, um, open the door, I'll give you a hug. It made you happy the, uh, other time, remember? And I heard what you called yourself a few minutes ago. My sister is NOT an abnormal freak. Why did you call yourself that?"

Elsa made no verbal response. She cried harder. _Anna's trying to help, but she's just making it worse. I can't open the door. I'm locked in. It's not safe. There's ice all over the place in here. I wish I hadn't let Anna hug me before. It's made this whole situation worse for both of us. She's confused about why it was ok then and not now. And it's made this whole situation ten times worse for me because getting a hug from Anna for the first time in eight years and then not being able to all over again is like…like really, really mean-spirited teasing._

"Elsa? Why is there an insanely cold draft coming from under your door?"

_Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa managed to force herself to stop crying; but she couldn't feel the cold, so she had no way of knowing what temperature it was in her room at all. _Anna is getting way too close to figuring out about my…problem. She saw the shattered window; she saw that meltwater puddle on the floor; she heard all that ice crash down; she's wondered why my room is cold more than once…And I'm sure me being terrified of touching anyone and wearing gloves all the time in the summer is very suspicious…Anna needs to understand she has to stay away from me._ Elsa made a difficult decision. She would have to completely ignore Anna again, no matter how much it hurt. Maybe then Anna would ignore her too, and their happy respite of safe time would be forgotten.

"Elsa? Will you please answer? Even us talking through the door is way better than no contact at all!"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut against the tears as she forced out one last reply. "I love you. Go away, Anna."

Anna frowned on the other side of the door. _She says she loves me and then she says to go away…what's wrong? I'll leave Elsa alone and come back later. _"Ok, bye…"

* * *

That evening, Elsa's door was still sealed shut with ice. "I froze the door shut," Elsa said when Gerda asked why the door wouldn't open.

"But princess, how are you going to get your dinner?"

"I guess I'll just be hungry until it melts," Elsa answered.

"You can't just not eat!"

Elsa sat in the window seat and gazed out the missing window. "I'm not hungry." _I just want Anna back. I wish I could either control my powers or get rid of them; I don't care which. Actually I think I'd rather get rid of them. Mom and Dad didn't _really_ approve of me even before I hurt Anna…_

Later after everyone had gone to bed, Elsa used the secret passages to sneak into the kitchen. She took a stash of chocolate and some fresh fruit back to her room, along with some chicken. _Chocolate and fruit won't go bad in my room. I'll eat the chicken tonight._ After eating the chicken and an apple, Elsa went to bed. That door could just stay sealed shut for all she cared. If she was going to be locked in her room, she would make it so no one else could come in, either. Knowing that anyone who had the key could just barge in without her permission creeped her out and she didn't think it was safe. What if someone came in while she was losing control?

* * *

The next morning, Elsa braced herself for a scolding when her parents knocked on the door. "May we come in?"

"No," Elsa answered. The door was still sealed shut, so it definitely wasn't going anywhere. Elsa was suddenly very, very glad she had iced the door shut. Now she wouldn't be obliged to open that door. She _couldn't_ open the door, and no one outside could either.

"Elsa…we do have a key. May we come in?"

"The door is sealed shut," Elsa replied. _Now please leave me alone. You don't need to come in here. You're scared of me. You don't want to be around me anyway._ She heard the sound of the key being twisted in the lock. _See, I told you._

"Elsa, fix the door right now. You froze it shut."

"I don't know how." _And even if I did, I wouldn't unfreeze it right now anyway,_ Elsa finished in her thoughts.

"Gerda said you didn't have any dinner last night. You can't just keep the door like this permanently."

"I got dinner myself. I went down to the kitchen late last night and took some food back in here," Elsa said. _Why did I admit that?!_

"How did you get to-oh, wait, you used the secret passages, didn't you?"

"Yes…" Elsa answered warily.

"All right, very well. If you wish to get meals that way, that's fine. But only go down there at night."

_I'm not stupid. I wasn't going to go down there during the day anyway._ "Ok," Elsa said.

* * *

An hour later, Elsa saw a folded piece of paper slide under her door, and heard what she was certain were Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. Elsa ran over to the door and unfolded the paper. _"Dear Elsa, I'm so, so, so sorry I ratted on you the other day. You know I've seen you outside at the edge of the forest before, but I didn't say a word 'cause I could tell you actually looked happy. But I HAD to say something this time before you got hurt or something. I hope you're not mad at me. I know I got you in humongous trouble, but I was so worried something was gonna happen to you. I love you. Your very sorry sister, Anna. P.S. I don't know why you're scared and stuff, and I still want to know why, but I'll be out here for you whenever you're ready." _Elsa carefully folded the letter back up and put it away in her desk with the rest of the things Anna had pushed under her door through the years. _I'm not mad at you, Anna. I'm mad at myself. The crown princess of Arendelle is a failure. Anna, it's not your fault she can't spend time with her own sister._ Against Elsa's better judgment, she decided she wanted to send a note back to Anna. She would either stick it under her sister's door late that night (those secret passages became more and more useful every day, Elsa thought), or slide it under her own door next time Anna knocked.

Elsa sat down at her desk, thinking it was a lucky thing she had sprained her left wrist and not the right one. She could actually _sort of_ write with her left hand because she'd taught herself to print with it a few years ago out of boredom, but it was still tedious and slow. _And it looks like a five- or six-year-old wrote it whenever I do that,_ she giggled to herself. _Let's see…what do I reply to Anna? Wait, I can't write a reply back to her. I'll just be encouraging her to keep asking questions. It'd be better for her to just move on and forget about me. _Elsa reluctantly forced herself not to write a letter to Anna. She walked over to the still-missing window and gazed outside instead.

There were no knocks from anyone on Elsa's door the rest of that day.

* * *

The next day, Anna came back and knocked on Elsa's door once again. "Hi, Elsa! Did…did you get my note?"

_Yes_, Elsa thought.

"I was thinking if you didn't wanna talk, we could send letters back and forth instead. Couldn't we do that? I, um…still want to know why, so maybe letters would be good?"

_I can't. I better not. Sending Anna a reply is just going to increase her questions and curiosity. It's better if she decides to ignore me…right? _Elsa said nothing.

"Elsa, puh-lease? I won't tell Mom and Dad you gave me anything. That way you won't get in trouble," Anna said.

_Yes, I will. They'll find out somehow. And even if they didn't, it's safer for you to stay away from your dangerous sister._ Elsa replied in her mind, but still said nothing aloud.

There was a long silence before Anna burst out, "Well, good grief, Elsa, I don't know what else to do! That time we spent together was an awful tease. Why'd we have to stop talking and stuff? Because I still don't believe you're dangerous. You just need to get convinced otherwise." Anna paused for a moment, then added, "Elsa, are you mad at me? If that's a 'no', please say so. If it's a 'yes', then say nothing." _Surely Elsa will answer that…_

Elsa bit her lip and forced herself not to answer. _Anna, why did you have to ask me that question in that exact form?_

Anna waited and waited, but Elsa didn't say anything. "E-Elsa?"

_You can't reply, Elsa. Don't say anything. _Elsa pressed her fingers against her sprained wrist, hoping the ache would take her mind off Anna's talking outside in the hall.

"I guess you're…mad at me then," Anna said sadly. "What did I do to make you mad? Can I fix it?"

Elsa's heart twisted at the sound of Anna's sad tone. _You didn't do _anything_, Anna. It's me. I'm the problem, not you. _Tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks, and she didn't bother to wipe them away. What was the use? She'd just end up having to do it again. Snowflakes began falling around her. _Go away, stupid snow. _YOU_ are the problem. If I were normal, I could spend time with Anna. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

"I guess I'll go away like you asked me to the other day," Anna said.

Elsa heard Anna's trudging footsteps fade away down the hall. _It's good that Anna thinks I'm mad at her…right? I'm trying to keep her safe. Better I be depressed than risk hurting Anna again._

* * *

The days and weeks crawled by. Elsa found herself retreating into the secret passages more and more, just to get away from miserable reality. The forced isolation of being in her room 24/7 was more distasteful for her than ever after spending those few afternoons outside. _It's like letting a starving person sniff and see a feast, and then not letting him or her actually eat it, _Elsa thought. It helped a _tiny_ bit to go to the secret entrance/exit to the forest and just look outside; but sometimes doing that just made her feel worse instead. By the time Elsa's wrist was completely healed, she knew every inch of those passages as well as the back of her hand. _Well, actually that expression is stupid for me since I hardly ever see the back of my bare hand, _she thought. _Maybe as well as my room? No, I know _that_ too well. Eight years can do that to a person._ That short time Elsa had spent with Anna haunted her too; the fact that she had had time with Anna only for it to be taken away again hurt her worse than if she hadn't spent time with Anna at all. _I miss Anna…I wish we hadn't had that time together at all. It's my own fault; I'm the one that initiated the whole thing by making myself sick trying to get rid of my…problem._

Elsa continued to fetch her meals from the kitchen late at night after everyone had gone to bed, so she had zero conversations now with anyone or anything besides her own thoughts. This was one thing she genuinely did not mind much; no people contact meant she didn't have to worry about hurting anyone.

Sometimes Elsa felt as if she were going stir-crazy. When that happened, she headed through the secret passages to Anna's room and sat just inside the secret entrance to Anna's room. Anna never knew she was there, but Elsa could hear Anna in her room and it made Elsa happier and calmer to be near Anna even if her sister didn't know she was there. More often than not, though, Anna was not in her room. Elsa could quickly decipher whether Anna was in her room or not. (Anna was rather noisy.) If she wasn't, Elsa headed back to her own room and sang something quietly, so no one would hear her.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

* * *

Elsa attempted to put _all_ her emotions, positive or negative or neutral, on strict lockdown all the time, every second now, because it was just too much for her otherwise. She always ended up making it snow or icing her room over, and completely failing at 'conceal, don't feel'. It was easier if the emotions weren't there in the first place. So Elsa put everyone and everything out of her heart and locked it all out. _Rather fitting, I guess. I'm locked in, and I lock everything else out, _Elsa decided.

* * *

For Anna, life went on pretty much as it had before. She just knocked on her sister's door less and less often, hoping Elsa would eventually come to her on her own. Maybe bugging Elsa every day annoyed her since she wasn't ready to socialize with Anna. Anna couldn't completely ditch a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that Elsa's actions weren't entirely of her own choosing, though; whether she was genuinely mad at Anna or not. Something was still fishy and illogical with the whole thing. Whenever she asked her parents about it, she got ambiguous answers. "If Elsa is mad, just leave her alone." "Maybe she's busy." _Yeah, right, like she didn't hear me knock when she's right on the other side of the door,_ Anna had thought (and said aloud) that time.

* * *

Elsa also found some small solace in gazing out the _still-_missing window. Since she'd sealed the door shut that one time, her parents hardly ever came to her room anymore. The ice had long since melted, but Elsa didn't tell them otherwise the few times they did come to her, so they never saw that the window was still missing. That window could stay missing forever for all she cared; it let the outside air in, which Elsa liked. She loved daydreaming about the North Mountain for some reason. The idea of being on the summit at the top of the world fascinated her to no end.

Elsa found out that concentrating hard on something pleasant before falling asleep usually fended off any of her usual nightmares of hurting Anna again that would normally end with her waking up shaking in terror in a snow-and-ice-filled room. Once Elsa dreamed she had frozen the entire planet and the only way to fix it was by her own death, preferably carried out by her own hand. Elsa hadn't slept at all the rest of that night. She took some warped comfort in realizing that if something like that really did happen, that 'solution' would _not_ fix everything; it'd leave the planet in a permanent deep freeze with no way out instead. _Granted, I don't know how to thaw anything I freeze, but no one else does either, so…yeah._ Elsa began thinking hard about the North Mountain every night before she fell asleep. This would ensure her good dreams most of the time. Elsa's favorite recurring dream would go something like this.

_Elsa stood on the summit by herself. For some reason, the thin air so far above sea level never bothered her. She was wearing a summery light blue dress, no gloves, and she went barefoot. After all, the cold didn't affect her, so why would she wear heavy winter clothes when she didn't have to? She was by herself, so there was no need for her to conceal her powers. Somehow Anna would be there too, but she had ice powers too for some reason, so Elsa couldn't hurt her._

_ "Elsa, tag me!" Anna shouted, sending a blast of snow at her sister._

_ "You're on!" Elsa happily replied, chasing her sister about, showering her with snow._

Once dream-Anna had hit dream-Elsa with an ice blast, but it only knocked her over. In the dream-land, it had sort of hurt, but no more than a regular slap would. So it didn't really matter. Elsa ran after Anna and showered her with snow. Another time they fell off a cliff into a crevasse, but they landed in a huge powdery mound of snow, so they were completely unhurt.

And Elsa's absolute favorite dream (that only happened once) was the time she and Anna had been up on the North Mountain and they had somehow built a fancy overly-detailed igloo per Anna's request. The structure had been _huge_ and had slides and staircases and a chandelier and all sorts of other things. Then the two girls had a ball flying from one slide to the next, picking up speed and feeling like they were riding something that went a million miles an hour. When Elsa woke up from _that_ exhilarating and happy dream, she immediately sat down at her desk and began drawing the icy igloo structure from her dream. Who cared if it was an impossibility, a figment of her imagination? Elsa _loved_ that drawing so much when she was finished with it that she drew the outside of her dream building, the inside, and everything in between. She fastened all the drawings to her wall with ice by touching each corner of each sheet of paper to the wall with her bare finger. _Mom and Dad would be furious if they knew I purposely put ice on the wall, but they hardly ever come to my room anymore, so I think it'll be fine._ As weeks passed and the ice fasteners didn't even start to melt, Elsa grew curious. She finally came to the conclusion that the ice didn't melt because she really, honestly didn't want it to. (And Elsa's conclusion was absolutely right.) The ineradicable ice fasteners gave Elsa a small glimmer of hope that one day she'd be able to control her powers properly.

They were unchanging even when she lost control.

**A/N: Sorry if this got way overboard angsty. I was trying to explain why Anna walks past Elsa's door without knocking in the movie when they're 15 and 18.:/**

**Elsa and I don't own the sunshine song!:P Just pretend she made it up, ok?:)**

**Virtual applause to anyone who catches the slight reference to the "A Sister More Like Me" book.;)**

**Next chapter coming soon! **


	10. Winter

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-That's true...freezing the door shut was both a good move and a bad move on Elsa's part.:P Yes, Anna will get mad. I think just because Anna loves her parents doesn't mean she can't get mad at them.;)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Thanks for the review, sis;) Elsa and Anna will get their happy ending eventually.:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-I'm glad you're enjoying the story!:) I'm sorry it takes me awhile to update:P (I'm slow at typing:/) Not sure about the exact number of chapters...I can definitely say there are plenty more coming, and that I know exactly how the story will go.:)**

**NOTE: Ok, so I found out Elsa's birthday is supposed to be on the winter solstice and Anna's birthday is supposed to be on the summer solstice. Argh-_- I thought Elsa's birthday was in the summer since the coronation in the movie is when she's 21, and we KNOW the coronation is in the summer. Anyway, in my story, Anna's birthday is in the winter and Elsa's is in the summer. Sorry if that bugs anyone.:P**

**On to the story!:)**

Winter came, and with it Anna's birthday, just before Christmas. The night before Anna's birthday Elsa snuck down to the kitchen as she had been doing for the past six months.

_Let's see…I want to make Anna a cake. Nobody needs to know I'm the one who made it…I'll just leave it on the counter, _Elsa thought. Because she had never made a cake before in her life, it took three batches of ruined batter and two burnt cakes before Elsa came up with something that was actually edible and looked halfway decent. Elsa had just finished frosting and decorating it when she heard noises just outside the kitchen. _It must be morning! I have to get out of here… _She left Anna's chocolate cake on the counter and disappeared back into the secret passages, stealthy as a cat. Elsa was very happy with her night's work until she remembered she hadn't completely cleaned up the kitchen. The kitchen wasn't a huge mess or anything; but there was a dirty mixing bowl in the sink, and some flour and sugar on the counter and floor. Someone was sure to realize she had been in there. _As long as Anna gets the cake, I'll be happy,_ she thought. Elsa had tested the batter herself; and it had been tasty. _Anna will love it if she actually gets it._

Back in her room, Elsa took off her chocolate and flour streaked dress and gloves before putting on a clean nightgown and a new pair of gloves. Now she was actually tired from staying up all night making the cake for Anna, so she went to bed even though it was technically morning now. She would figure out what to do with the dirty clothes later. _I hope Anna likes the cake._ Elsa fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in months. The last thing she noticed was that it was snowing hard outside…and it wasn't because of her. _Natural snow_, Elsa's sleepy thoughts told her happily.

Elsa was rudely awakened by a sharp rap on her door. "Who is it?" she asked.

"It's your father, and I have just been informed that there was a mess in the kitchen this morning, and a cake. Did you do that? And may I come in?"

"Well, yeah-I mean yes," Elsa said. "I would have cleaned up the mess, but there wasn't time. Did Anna get the cake yet?" she asked hopefully. "Um, just wait a minute before you come in…" Elsa jumped out of bed, stuffed the dirty clothes under the bed, and swept the snow on her desk from outside onto the floor. Then she said, "Ok, you can come in now," from the far corner of the room.

Elsa heard the lock click open.

"That window is still missing?! Why didn't you tell someone, Elsa?"

_Who was I going to tell? The wall?_ "I don't mind it missing. In fact, I rather like it that way," Elsa said. _It lets the outside air and weather in._

"Elsa, don't leave a mess in the kitchen again. If that repeats itself, you can't go down there anymore."

"All right," Elsa said, because she had no intentions of leaving a mess in the kitchen again anyway. She really hadn't intended to leave a mess this time.

"Is that _ice_ holding your drawings on the wall over there?" Agdar asked.

"Yes…it's been there for awhile…" Elsa replied. _Please don't ask me to take them down; please don't ask me to take them down… And don't ask me exactly what the drawings are, either. They're just figments of my imagination…icy igloo structures with chandeliers and slides and staircases don't exist in real life._

"You aren't supposed to be using your powers, Elsa. You're supposed to be controlling them."

_You mean concealing them, not controlling them._ Elsa was sure even if she _did_ know how to control her powers, her parents still wouldn't be happy with her. _Ok, Elsa, you're getting angry and upset. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. Shut them out. Shut them out. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ "Don't you think my little ice-fasteners look controlled?" Elsa whispered, her blue eyes hopeful. "They haven't melted at all or grown in size when I've lost control or anything…they've looked exactly the same for months." Whenever Elsa felt discouraged about losing control, she would go and look at the ice-fasteners, which were always unchanging for some reason. They never started to melt. They never started to "eat" the wall when she lost control, either.

"They _HAVEN'T MELTED_ for months?! Ice always melts!"

Elsa's heart dropped to her toes at that reaction, but she did not cry, get mad, or lose control. The emotions lockout over the last few months had certainly helped. This reaction did not surprise her. She would not allow her feelings-that she pretended did not exist at all-to be influenced by things like this. _Of course Dad grabbed at that part of it. Why did I even say that? It's my own fault._ "Well, this ice doesn't melt. Because I don't want it to," she said quietly. "I'd like to be left alone, if you please."

"Do not make any more…non-melting ice. That is the strangest, most aberrant thing I've ever heard of, ice that doesn't melt for months... Ice is supposed to melt. Even the ice you make has always melted before."

_Strange and aberrant…ok, then. Thanks a lot-not. I guess I am, though. _"Thank you for the compliment," Elsa replied in a neutral tone that could be taken as a genuine 'thank you' or a statement reeking of sarcasm.

"What is that supposed to mean? Because that was not a compliment."

_It can mean whatever you want it to mean,_ she thought. _Ok, Elsa, you're getting mad again. Lockdown. Lockdown. _Elsa looked directly at her father but said nothing in reply.

After about thirty seconds of neither of them saying anything, Agdar left Elsa's room, and Elsa said, "Make sure Anna gets her cake," as he left.

She sealed the door shut with ice the second her father left. _I'd rather be alone than have an awkward conversation like that again. And I don't want that window being replaced, either._

* * *

That afternoon, Anna stuffed a note under Elsa's door that said, _"Hi Elsa, I don't know if you're still mad at me or not, but thanks for the cake. Mom and Dad wouldn't confirm that you made it, but I'm sure you did anyway. It was yummy! Love, Anna."_

Elsa couldn't deny feeling delighted when she received that note, emotions lockout or no.

* * *

The snow outside kept piling up over the next few days because it never warmed up enough for it to melt. Elsa took to scooping up all the snow off her windowsill and the part of the ledge she could reach, and bringing it into her room. Because the window was still missing, the natural temperature in Elsa's room stayed just above freezing and the snow did not melt. Elsa did not mind the cold temperature; she couldn't feel it anyway. In fact, the only reason she knew it was cold in her room was because the snow from outside didn't melt. She had no idea why she loved the snow from outdoors so much; after all, she hated the things her powers made most of the time. _Except for the ice-fasteners. I do like those. I guess I like the natural snow because it's the pretty version of the messes I always make; I don't know._ Now that it was winter and everything outside was covered in snow anyway, Elsa felt _much_ more at ease with herself and her powers. If she made a mistake and lost control, it wasn't noticeable.

* * *

Late Christmas Eve night, Elsa decided she would give herself a present for Christmas. She'd go outside in the courtyard, just once, just for a little while. _If I lose control outside, no one will notice. The natural ice and snow will cover it up._ Elsa leaned out the window. There was still the problem that she was high above the ground, far too high to jump down. _How do I get down? There's snow on the ground, but it's still not soft enough to make it safe to just jump down…wait, I know exactly what to do. It's risky, but…_

Elsa stopped leaning out the window and came back into her room. _Do I dare? If I mess up…_ "It'll be fine because there's already a ton of snow out there," she said aloud, trying to convince herself. _Ok, Elsa, let's do this. Test it first to make sure you can, though._ She slipped off her gloves and tried to make a small pile of snow in the corner. It came out _much_ bigger than she had intended, but it didn't overtake her room or anything. That was good enough for her. She'd take what she could get. Before Elsa could convince herself that this was a risky, terrible idea, she leaned out the window again and purposely made a large mound of snow on the ground directly below her window. Elsa climbed out the window and dropped straight down into the snow mound. _It worked, it worked, it worked! Except now I'm half-buried in my own snow pile. Oops. Still, I don't care; I got down here safely without getting caught._ She dug her way out of the pile and glanced around the dark courtyard. _I haven't been down here for eight years…_ It still looked exactly as she remembered, though.

Remembering what her dream-self would do usually, Elsa slipped off her shoes and went barefoot. The snow had a pleasant crunchy-but-powdery sensation to her. _I love it out here._ She was in her element, except, as Elsa liked to say, "Water in any form isn't an element! It's a compound." _Figurative element, I mean, _she thought. Elsa rolled three snowballs and made a snowman, which ended up reminding her of Anna and their playtime so long ago in the ballroom when they had made a snowman and called him Olaf. _I wish I could be out here with Anna instead of by myself. No you don't; you might freeze her. Yes I do! SHE'S MY SISTER!_ Elsa retorted to the nasty voice in her head. _I shouldn't wish that, but I do. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown._

Elsa decided to test her creative skills and build an igloo. _I'm not using my powers; I'll do it the normal way,_ she thought. That couldn't harm anything. Besides, Elsa had realized that for some reason, she felt perfectly at home in the natural snowy environment. She did not feel like she was stuffing a part of herself away into oblivion like she usually did when she was trying to control her powers. She was just _there_. She was just _Elsa_, not _Elsa-the-girl-with-the-uncontrollable-ice-powers_. When her snow building/structure thing was finished (it did NOT look like a traditional igloo, Elsa noted), she surveyed her handiwork. It was a far cry from her dream building, but it was pretty cool nonetheless. _Yep, definitely cool. In both ways_, Elsa thought.

Elsa was thinking she had better go inside soon and was wondering how to get back up to her room when she heard the castle's main entrance doors open. She did the only thing she could think of. Elsa dove out of sight into her snow building and peeked out a crack in the wall. _It's Anna! What is she doing out here so late? I would have thought she was fussing at Mom and Dad to let her open her Christmas presents tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow morning._ Elsa pushed snow over the entrance to her little building so Anna wouldn't come inside.

"Oh wow, it looks like fairies visited!" Anna exclaimed. "Wait, I'm _way_ too old to think fairies really exist."

Elsa giggled to herself inside her hiding spot.

"_Big_ fairies, evidently. There are footprints made by bare feet all over the place out here…" Now Anna sounded puzzled. "These prints look people-sized!"

Elsa bit her lip. _Why did I do that?! Nobody but me would have gone traipsing through the snow with bare feet. And I think I left my shoes somewhere out there…_

Sure enough, a moment later Elsa heard Anna say, "Someone's out here, and I think it's a girl around my age! Come out, wherever you are! I've got your shoes, crazy person who is evidently going barefoot in the snow!"

Elsa was torn between being horrified or rolling with laughter. _Maybe both,_ she thought. If she was caught out here, it would only make trouble for her, but Anna's words made her feel like cracking up laughing. She watched through the crack as Anna inspected the outside of the snow building.

"Aha, I found the entrance. Hmm, I wonder why it was covered up…hey, wait a second, I know exactly who's out here," Anna said. _A girl close to my age; a closed-off entrance…it's Elsa! Who else could be in the castle courtyard anyway?_

Elsa scooted as far away from the entrance as she could. _I'm going to get caught…Anna's going to want to know why I'm out here…she's going to want to know why I'm barefoot…argh! And it's still not safe for her to be around me. SafER than in the summer, yes, but I'm still not completely in control._

Anna stuck her head inside Elsa's hideout. Although she had been fairly certain it was Elsa, she was still shocked to see her sister inside. "Elsa, what on earth are you doing out here with no shoes on IN THE SNOW?!" she blurted. _Elsa isn't even shivering…_ Anna was puzzled. Elsa was sitting in the far corner of the snow building wearing nothing but her navy blue dress. She wasn't wearing a coat or hat. And she was barefoot and not wearing any gloves or mittens. But Elsa didn't seem to be cold at all; she had slightly rosy cheeks, but that was it. "Um, Elsa, aren't you cold?"

Elsa shook her head and clasped her hands close to her chest. _Anna, I'm actually happy you're here, but you need to get away from me, just in case. Winter might make me more at ease about my powers, but I'm still certainly not completely in control…Emotions on lockdown._

"How can you be sitting in the snow with no shoes, coat, hat, or mittens and not be cold?! Come on Elsa, that's just weird and crazy…"

A hurt expression flashed across Elsa's face for a moment. _Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. You don't have a reason to be upset anyway, Elsa. Anna didn't mean anything by saying that. She wasn't trying to pick on you. Sitting in the snow barefoot without a coat IS weird to normal people._

Anna looked expectantly at Elsa, waiting for an answer, but she didn't invade Elsa's personal space by moving closer to her. She remembered how Elsa was scared of being touched for some reason, so she stayed with her head stuck in Elsa's little structure.

Elsa stayed sitting in the corner and said nothing. _Anna, go away. I know you came out here to build a snowman or something. Don't waste your playtime on me._ She looked down at her bare hands and wished she'd brought her gloves outside, even though she didn't mind the cold, couldn't even feel it, really.

"Elsa, do…do…do you wanna build a snowman with me?" Anna asked.

Elsa flicked her eyes toward Anna in surprise. _Anna wants to do something with me? The last she "heard" was that I was mad at her._ She nodded in reply but didn't make any move to leave the little snow structure.

"You do?!" Anna exclaimed happily, then paused when she noticed Elsa didn't seems to be budging from her spot at all. "Elsa…are you coming?"

Elsa shook her head in reply. _I can't. It's not safe…_

"I thought you said-nodded-that you'd build a snowman with me!" Anna watched as Elsa seemed to withdraw farther into herself and her thoughts. _Wait, I think she meant she WANTED to, not that she actually would…_ "Elsa, _will_ you build a snowman with me?"

_Wait! Slow down! …dead silence… You're ok, Anna, I got you. … This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?_ Elsa's mind replayed the accident in her head.

Anna frowned. Her sister was staring into space, not really seeing anything except whatever was going on in her head. _What's eating her? It's like Elsa is here, but her mind isn't. _"Elsa! What's wrong?"

Elsa snapped back to reality at the sound of Anna's voice. _I can't build a snowman with Anna. It's too dangerous. I shouldn't even be out here._ She spoke to Anna for the first time since they'd been outside. "I do want to, but I just _can't_." Elsa's voice sounded plaintive.

_Well, I got Elsa to talk to me anyways_, Anna thought. "Then I'll sit with you in here till you change your mind." Anna crawled inside Elsa's hideout and sat as far away from Elsa as she could, remembering Elsa didn't like anyone getting too close to her.

Elsa gave Anna the tiniest hint of a smile. _She doesn't hate me. _"Don't…waste your playtime on me. You go build a snowman by yourself. I'll just stay in here and watch you." _I shouldn't be talking to Anna. The whole cycle with the knocking and 'why' questions will start up again. But I can't ignore her…and I really really don't want to, either… _ Elsa decided she would make an exception since it was Christmas Eve. She'd deal with the consequences later.

"C'mon Elsa, I'm not doing that. I'd feel like a jerk, playing around building a snowman while you sit in here by yourself. By the way, this thing you built is awesome! Way better than the snow forts I usually make. It's so _big_ and kinda detailed," Anna said. "Where'd you get the idea for it?"

"A dream." Elsa's expression was wistful as she laid a hand on the snowy wall next to her. _I wish it was real. That I could really, truly control it. That Anna built that huge icy building with me. That we were alone on the North Mountain together._

"Elsa, can you puh-lease tell me how you're touching the snow with your bare hand while sitting in the snow with no shoes or coat and you're not cold?! If you tell me, I'll tell you a secret!"

Elsa thought for a while before finally answering, "Natural immunity…the cold doesn't really bother me." _Did I reveal too much? Nobody is immune to the cold like I am…_

To Elsa's surprise, Anna accepted that without question. "Cool!" Then Anna whispered conspiratorially, "Pun intended."

Elsa smiled at her sister. "I like puns."

"Me too. My secret is that I sometimes sneak extra chocolate from the kitchen and dining hall and hoard it in my room." Anna moved a bit closer to Elsa, hoping maybe she wouldn't mind if Anna moved closer gradually.

"Don't come any closer!" Elsa's smile disappeared as she tried to scoot farther away from Anna; but Elsa was already sitting in the corner and there was no place for her to go. Elsa curled into a ball as she pulled her knees to her chest, making herself as small as possible. _You didn't bring those dumb gloves outside, Elsa. You can't make a mistake out here. You can't hurt Anna. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

Anna moved back to her original spot at Elsa's reaction. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean to…to scare you or make you uncomfortable." _But WHAT on earth is she so afraid of?_

"Don't apologize because of my behavior, Anna. _Never_ do that," Elsa said firmly. _She has no reason to apologize to me. I shouldn't be scared of being near her._

* * *

They sat in silence for the next minute or so. Then Anna broke the silence by saying, "Elsa, I think I have an idea. You said you wanted to build a snowman with me, but you can't/won't/etc 'cause you don't want to get too close to anyone. So…how's this? We can each make part of the body by ourselves. Then we can each roll half of the third ball. Ta-da, we make a snowman together and you don't have to get anywhere near me!"

"You'd really do that with me?" Elsa searched Anna's face for any sign that she was kidding, but Anna looked a hundred percent sincere. _Anna's not kidding. I don't think I could stand it if she was. She really wants to do that with me!_

Anna watched in delight as Elsa's face went from surprised to questioning to relieved to excited. "Yeah, of course I will! C'mon! I'll help sneak you back inside too, 'cause I know you aren't supposed to be out here."

_I practically forgot about that problem of getting back inside. Thanks, Anna. _Elsa smiled. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Anna crawled out of Elsa's snowy structure and waited for her to follow.

"May I make the bottom?" Elsa asked when they were both out.

"Sure." Anna watched as Elsa rolled the bottom part of their snowman together. "Good grief, Elsa, it's making me cold just to look at you!"

Elsa glanced down at her bare feet and wiggled her toes. "I'm sorry? I'm really, honestly not cold though." She finished rolling the snowball before saying, "Ok, your turn." Elsa stayed several feet away from Anna while Anna rolled the middle part of their snowman. _This is so much fun. Best. Christmas present. Ever. Time with Anna!_

"Now you do half of the head and I'll do the other half!" Anna said. Elsa started making the head, and Anna added, "Let's call our snowman Olaf like we did when we were little."

Elsa stopped rolling the snowball in shock. _Anna remembers that?! Wait…she thinks we built Olaf outside with natural snow instead of with my snow in the ballroom. That's what it is._ Elsa didn't realize she was adding snow to the ball herself now.

Anna squinted at Elsa's hands and the snowball. "Elsa…I could swear that snowball seems bigger than it did a few seconds ago and you didn't move an inch…"

_I was making snow just now! Oops, big oops. Get it together, Elsa. Control it. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ "Maybe you misjudged the size," Elsa said. "Your turn now anyway."

"Yeah, I guess so." Anna finished rolling the head and stuck it on their snowman. "Hey, we don't have any eyes or mouth or nose!"

"Just draw the eyes and mouth on. I'll get us a nose," Elsa replied. She waited until Anna was paying attention to their snowman; then Elsa ran over to the courtyard wall and jumped up, trying to pull an icicle down. _Shoot, I can't reach them. Wait, maybe _I_ can get us an icicle…no, Elsa, you can't do that. Why not? It's just an icicle! Just ONE! You might lose control…no I won't, not this time. Besides, even if I do, it's already quite snow-covered out here…_ She turned to see Anna lying in the snow making snow angels. Elsa turned her back on Anna and formed an icicle in her palms. _Well, it's a little big, but it'll do. _She ran back to their snowman and stuck the icicle she'd made where a carrot would usually go. "How's that, Anna?"

Anna jumped up from her snow angel and looked at their snowman. "Cool! Where'd you get the icicle?"

"By the wall…" Elsa said, thinking that yes, she had gotten it over by the wall, but it was NOT off the wall like Anna thought.

Anna ran behind the snowman and said, "Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!"

Elsa tried to keep herself from laughing or crying, but she couldn't. She did both. _So much for the emotions lockdown. I'm happy _and_ sad right now. That's an improvement over feeling emotionally empty or depressed, anyways._ "I used to say that when we made Olafs when we were little…"

"Yeah, you did. What happened to us, Elsa? We were so close, and then everything just…fell apart. I miss you so much. The old you that snuck down to the kitchen to eat ice cream or chocolate with me late at night. The you that was actually…happy and animated. The you that wasn't terrified of people touching her. I hate seeing you all scared and depressed…" Anna trailed off. "Like even now, you don't look completely happy. You're also worried and upset about something. Can't I help you fix the problem?"

Elsa shook her head. _I miss the old me too. The eight-year-old me that was naïve and didn't know that she was a dangerous little freak. The me that hadn't almost killed her sister. Growing up and gaining more knowledge stinks some-no, _most_ of the time. And how on earth does Anna know how I feel? Am I that bad at concealing my emotions? _"You can't help, Anna. It's…something I have to deal with alone. I told you before, there's something wrong with me that can't be cured. I'm defective. Oh, and one more thing…how do know how I feel, Anna?"

Anna just stared at Elsa. "Elsa. Even if there _was_ something wrong with you that can't be cured, which I still don't believe in the least, that doesn't make you 'defective'. You're still my sister, and I care about you, no matter what is or isn't wrong with you. And you really want to know how I can tell how you feel? It's your eyes. They betray you every time. You might look totally unreadable apart from that, but your eyes show your real feelings. I don't think anyone else could read you though, in case you're wondering. Not unless they catch on or are INSANELY good at reading people."

_Anna, I _am_ defective. The crown princess of Arendelle is not supposed to have ice powers she can't control. It's absurdly weird to have ice powers in the first place. It'd be ok, I suppose, if I knew how to control it, but I don't. And Anna can read my emotions from my eyes?! It's a good thing I don't mind letting my true self show to her. I hope Mom and Dad can't read me like that._ "Thanks for trying to make me feel better," Elsa finally replied.

"Trying to? I failed then, didn't I…" Anna's voice trailed off in disappointment.

"You will NOT say you failed at anything, Princess Anna of Arendelle! This is my problem, not yours. It is _not_ your fault. You will _not_ blame yourself for the way I behave. You will _not_ regret your actions regarding things beyond your control, EVER. You will _not_ insult yourself for anything. You will _not_ change your identity to match people's expectations." Elsa spoke with a regal authority beyond her sixteen years. _I will make sure my sister doesn't ever become a failure like me. Anna will be perfect. But she'll be perfect AND stay true to herself and her personality. She will _not_ try to be perfect by others' austere standards. She will be perfect just by being herself, even if I can't and will never be able to._

Anna took a step backwards. She was surprised at how assertive and commanding her sister sounded all of a sudden. _Big change from the scared and upset Elsa that was here a minute ago… _Anna gave a nervous giggle. "Well, I can see why you're Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle. You'll be a great queen when you're a grownup someday." _Wait…did Elsa say those things because she wishes _she_ could follow through with them? Yeah, I think she did…Elsa, I'll do my best to take those words to heart. I wish you would tell me why you can't do those things yourself, though. Because to be quite honest, those are instructions Mom and Dad should have told us. But no…hey wait! "Changing your identity to match people's expectations"?! That's what Elsa is trying to do to herself? _ Anna was suddenly very, very angry at her parents. They were the only ones Elsa could be trying to do something like that for. _How dare they make Elsa want to change who she is! I still don't know what her real issue is, but that's awful…_ Anna decided she would have to have a talk with her parents about the whole thing, once she figured out how to keep from getting Elsa in trouble for talking to her.

_That's a highly debatable point, me being a great queen. I think I'd be ok as a leader if I didn't have ice powers I can't control, but with them like I am today and always will be? I'll probably send Arendelle to its Waterloo the first time I have to meet dignitaries from other countries…_ "Anna, have you heard of the Battle of Waterloo or the expression 'met its Waterloo'?" Elsa asked.

Anna frowned. "Yeah. That's when and where Napoleon got his butt kicked by the British and Prussians. Why do you ask?"

Elsa rolled her eyes at Anna's amusing explanation. "Right. I think I…I might send Arendelle to _its_ Waterloo if/when I'm queen. You should be heir apparent, not me." _Maybe I should abdicate in Anna's favor when the time comes…_

"Are…are you implying you would want to abdicate or something?!" Anna asked, puzzled.

Elsa slowly nodded.

"Elsa, that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. I do NOT want to be Queen of Arendelle! That's your job! I don't have all the knowledge and smarts you have on political stuff. I'm quite certain you've read tons of information on that sort of thing. To be quite honest, I'm not interested either! I'd probably ruin Arendelle by importing too much chocolate or something," Anna said.

Elsa couldn't help laughing at Anna's final sentence. She could see it now-Queen Anna importing more chocolate than anything else, making all the citizens live on chocolate or something and everyone going sugar crazy. "I should hope you'd have more sense than to have our people living on chocolate."

"Mmm, that doesn't sound so bad," Anna said, rubbing her tummy. "I love chocolate!"

"Anna, in all seriousness though, promise me you'll read some of the political books and documents, and some books on government and whatnot that are in the castle library. _Please_," Elsa replied.

"Ok, I will if it's so important to you," Anna said. "But you are not abdicating! You're supposed to be queen, not me. I'm just the spare."

"As future queen, I order you not to insult yourself by calling yourself 'just a spare'," Elsa said firmly. "You are _not_ 'just a spare'. You are second in line for the throne of Arendelle, and you _should_ be first in line. If I ever become queen, I will need your help…a lot of help…" Elsa glanced up at the windows of the castle. They had been outside for a long time now, and Elsa was afraid they were going to get caught. "And Anna…if your offer to help sneak me back inside is still on, I think we should go in. It's really, really late."_ I hope Anna has a good plan, because I'm going to be in huge trouble if anyone finds out I was out here._

_**A/N:**_**Next chapter coming soon.:) **


	11. Not Again

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-I'm glad you liked the chapter:) Cool, then it's not just me that likes their birthdays in reverse of when they're supposed to be. I think I will just continue with Elsa's summer birthday and Anna's winter birthday in my head anyway...;)**

**Lindstrom-Thanks for the review!:) I think Anna has more brains in her head than a lot of people give her credit for. She does stupid things sometimes (ie., riding off in the snow in a party dress, getting in engaged to Hans in one day), but I think mostly she's just impulsive.;) I like to think Anna actually takes a bit more consideration of how she treats Elsa, even if she still has no idea why Elsa shuts her out all the time.:)**

**On to the story! We left Elsa and Anna outside getting ready to figure out how to sneak Elsa back inside...:)**

"Well…all right. It probably IS crazy late. Come on, I'll help you get back up to your room. I have an idea." Anna ran across the courtyard with Elsa trailing several feet behind her.

"Anna. What. Is. That. For?!" Elsa asked, pointing at the ladder Anna had just pulled out of the snow by the side of the castle. _Don't tell me Anna thinks I'm climbing on the roof…_

"We're gonna climb up on the castle wall and jump over onto the roof. I'm not a hundred percent sure which window ledge is yours, but I THINK it's that one," Anna said, pointing to the correct window. It was practically impossible to see the missing window in the dark, though.

"Wait…what?! Last time I climbed on the roof, I sprained my wrist. It seemed like forever before it was completely better. I do _not_ want to get on the roof again. I'm too clumsy up there," Elsa replied, shaking her head.

Anna began giggling as she said, "You mean back in the summer when you hurt your wrist, it was from being on the roof?"

"Yes, it was," Elsa said in her best dignified voice. "I went out on the ledge outside my window, and when I tried to climb back inside, I…"

"Yeah…go on…" Anna prompted.

"I literally fell into my room and tumbled through the window. I guess I landed funny on my wrist. The end. Now are you quite finished being amused by your sister's mishap?" Elsa asked. The whole incident was rather embarrassing to Elsa now; she thought the crown princess probably should not have been climbing out there in the first place. _Although the view from up there _was_ amazing…_

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry for laughing at you, Elsa. It's just funny 'cause you're always so elegant and stuff and you just told me you sprained your wrist by falling into your room from the ledge outside on/around the roof. But really, there's no need to be embarrassed. It's no big deal. Come on, Elsa, I'll hold the ladder steady for you. There is no other way for us to get you back up to your room without being seen," Anna said.

Elsa sighed. _Anna's right. The only reason I was able to get out here was through the window, so it makes sense I need to get back in the same way._ "All right," she conceded. "But you have to promise to hold the ladder!"

"I will," Anna promised.

Anna held the ladder still, and Elsa quickly climbed up on the castle wall. "Anna, I forgot my shoes!" Elsa said from her perch atop the wall.

"Right, I'll get 'em," Anna replied. She grabbed Elsa's shoes and clambered up the ladder herself.

Elsa walked cautiously along the wall, her arms held out for balance.

"Wait up, Elsa. I'm coming," Anna said, following Elsa's footprints in the snow on the wall.

"Ok. Please don't get too close to me…" Elsa replied. _I should be more scared up here than I am. It's not safe to climb on the castle wall, especially when it's snowed and iced over. Wait…I don't slip on ice, but Anna can! I've gotta keep an eye on her!_

They proceeded a short distance along the wall until Anna said, "We have to jump over to the roof now."

"We have to do what?! That's too far to jump!" Elsa exclaimed, eying the large gap between where they were and the actual roof.

"Elsa, shush up! Someone might hear you! And it'll be fine. Go on, Elsa. Even if we do fall, we'll land in snow. We won't get hurt. At least I don't think so," Anna tried to assure Elsa.

_Anna, you're silly. I don't think that snow is soft enough to break a fall… _Elsa bit her lip and looked back at the gap, trying to judge the exact distance. _Ok, Elsa, you can do this. Come on._ She leaped the gap and successfully landed on all fours on the icy roof, the only issue being a stubbed toe. _I should have put my shoes on before trying this. But at least I made it anyways. And it's really icy up here…_ "Anna…it's very icy up here. It's probably slippery."

"_Probably_ slippery? You're right on top of it; can't you tell if it's slippery or not?"

"Ok, it's slippery then," Elsa said, figuring that any sort of ice was probably slippery to anyone besides herself. "Anna…I'll go the rest of the way alone. You don't have to follow me."

"But I thought you didn't want to climb up there anyway," Anna protested. "At least I can help you by simply letting you know someone's got your back."

"Anna, I don't even want anyone near me or touching me. You can't help me even if I do slip. Just stay there and you can just go back along the wall and down the ladder without bothering with me any more," Elsa replied. "Do not follow me," she added, hoping a direct 'order' might make Anna listen. Elsa began moving along the roof very slowly toward her window's ledge.

* * *

Anna stood atop the wall, watching Elsa edge her way along the roof. _I should follow Elsa anyway. If she slipped, I'm sure she'd rather someone catch her than let her fall even if she doesn't like people touching her._ Without thinking it through further, Anna attempted the same catlike leap that had landed Elsa safely on the roof from the wall. But the roof was far more slippery than Anna had expected, especially considering the fact that Elsa had acted as if she weren't entirely sure whether it was slippery or not. Anna scrabbled to get a sure grip on the icy roof and let out a yelp.

Elsa, who was almost to her window by now, whipped around toward the sound and nearly lost her own balance. "Anna!" _Anna's going to fall. I told her not to follow me! Anna's going to fall. I gotta help her. No wait, I can't touch her. I might hurt her. But…if I don't help her, she will definitely get hurt. "Might" is better than "definite". _With this logic, Elsa began edging back towards Anna. "Hold on, Anna, I'm-"

Too late. Elsa could only watch in horror as her sister screamed and slipped off the slick, icy roof and tumbled to the snow-covered ground below. _Please let Anna be ok. Please…she wouldn't have come up here at all if it wasn't for me. _"ANNA! Anna, are you ok?!" No answer. Elsa quickly edged all the way to her window and dropped down into the soft, powdery snow mound she'd made to get down to the courtyard in the first place. _Come on, Anna, I hope you're just playing a nasty prank on me. Or didn't hear me shout._ She shook all the snow off and ran over to Anna, making sure to stay several feet away. Elsa noticed with growing unease that the snow in this area wasn't the soft, powdery stuff in her own snow mound. "Anna? Please answer me! Please…if this is a joke, it's not funny anymore…" _Anna's unconscious. She must have hit her head when she fell. What am I supposed to do?! You have to go get your parents, Elsa. You know you do. You failed to protect her again, Elsa. Just like when you were eight. Not again! Please...no..._ "Except this time it wasn't my powers," Elsa whispered, her voice breaking. "It was because I waited too long to decide to help."

Elsa's mind flashbacked to the accident from when they were little. _Wait! Slow down! …dead silence… You're ok, Anna, I got you. … This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done? What have you done? What have you done? _Elsa clapped her hands over her ears. "Make it stop! I can't take it anymore!" _Ok, Elsa, get back. To the present. Go get. Mom and Dad. To help Anna. Now._ Elsa gave her sister one last concerned glance before running blindly to the main castle entrance. She faceplanted in the snow halfway there, but immediately jumped up and continued running. _Elsa. You can. Do this. Stay in. The present. Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel._ Elsa ignored the fact that most of the hairpins holding her bun together had fallen out and her long hair was tumbling down her back now.

Elsa threw the castle doors open and brushed her hair out of her face. _Ok, Elsa, go to your parents' room. They're probably sleeping by now._ She ran to the main staircase and dashed up the stairs as fact as she could go. When she arrived in front of the door to her parents' room, she bit her lip before knocking loudly on the door.

"It's after midnight! We are not opening presents until morning, Anna," Agdar said from inside.

Elsa turned the knob and opened the door. "It's not Anna…it's me…"

Now Elsa had both her parents' complete attention. "Elsa, what in the world are you doing here? Did you break the lock again?" Agdar asked.

"Why are you all wet? And what happened to your shoes and gloves?" Idun asked.

_Stop interrogating me!_ "I…that is…we…you have to help Anna. Anna…courtyard…unconscious…" Elsa couldn't form a completely coherent explanation, but it was enough.

"Anna is outside in the courtyard unconscious for some reason. Is that right?"

Elsa nodded vigorously. "Help her, please!" _Please let Anna be ok…_

* * *

Idun went to take care of Anna, and Agdar took Elsa back to her room.

"I froze the door shut," Elsa said when her father asked why her room's door wouldn't open.

"Elsa, what else have you done tonight that you weren't supposed to?"

_What have you done? What have you done?_ The question ricocheted in Elsa's mind again. She was almost shaking now; hearing that again, for real this time, was just too much for her. _Elsa, calm down. You're making a spectacle of yourself. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. _"Is Anna…going to be…all right?"

"Elsa, what happened in the courtyard? How did you know what happened to Anna?"

"I…went outside by myself at first…" _Elsa, just say exactly what happened. You're going to get in who knows how much trouble anyway, so just say everything._ "Through the window. Then-"

"You aren't supposed to go outside, and that window is far too high to jump down from anyway, Elsa."

"I made a snow mound to land in," Elsa admitted.

"You did _what?!"_

_There's a ton of snow out there anyway…it's impossible to tell I did that… _"Please just let me finish explaining. Then you can ask me whatever you see fit. So, once I was in the courtyard, I was making a snow building. The _n__ormal_ way, not with my powers," Elsa quickly added when she noticed her father's expression. "Right after I finished it, I heard Anna come outside and I hid in my building. Anna found me. We talked for awhile. Anna was trying to help me climb back up on the roof to get back in my room…she slipped off because it was icy and I couldn't reach her in time. I got down myself and came inside to get help for Anna…" she trailed off. "So that's what happened." _Now you can get horrendously mad at me if you want._

"Does Anna know about your powers?"

"No." _I kinda wish she did, though, _Elsa thought.

"Were you running around outside with no shoes or gloves the whole time?"

Elsa nodded. She watched as her father started taking her door off the hinges. "What are you doing with my door?"

"Taking it off so we can break down the ice behind it. How did you explain to Anna that you were running around in the snow barefoot?"

"I said I had natural immunity…that the cold doesn't really bother me," Elsa said. _I could just get back into my room via the secret passages…_

"Do you realize how close your sister came to finding out? Natural immunity…really, Elsa."

Elsa plopped down on the floor and leaned against the hallway wall. She was not going to talk any more about this whole thing. _Dad can just stand there and beat up on my ice barrier all night; I don't care. I just want to know if Anna is all right._

"If you made a snow mound to get yourself down into the courtyard safely, why didn't you do the same for your sister?"

Elsa said nothing. _Dad made a huge fuss about whether or not Anna knows about my powers. Now he wants to know why I didn't make a snow mound for her to land in. Ironic. No matter what I do, it's always the wrong thing. If I _had_ done that, he would have been mad that I revealed my problem to Anna. Or I could have missed and hit Anna again._ She shuddered at that thought.

"You are forbidden to have contact with Anna in any way. That includes letters and whatnot. I can't risk you telling her about your little ice problem or hurting her with it again."

_What else is new? _"So basically I will be locked in my room again like before and everything will be just peachy for everyone but me, as usual," Elsa said crossly. "Because I'm dangerous, and weird, and abnormal; and you don't want anyone to see me." _Shut up, Elsa. Why did you say that? You'll just make things worse for yourself. You know you have to stay away from people. It isn't safe. Emotions on lockdown. Conceal, don't feel._

"Don't be rude, Elsa. Why don't you help take down this ice that shouldn't be here in the first place?" Agdar was getting frustrated with Elsa's ice barrier; it didn't seem to be budging as much as it should. It had cracked a little, but that was it.

_Because I don't want to. And I can technically get into my room through the secret passages anyway._ Despite her thoughts, Elsa got to her feet and looked the ice barrier she'd made up and down. _Wouldn't it be funny if I could shatter it when Dad couldn't…it IS mine, after all. I made it. I should be able to break it if I want to. I can always put it up again._ Elsa gave the ice her strongest punch. Immediately tiny cracks spread through the ice barrier, weakening it. _Wait…the cracks made a snowflake pattern. _She pounded the ice again in another spot. The cracks formed another snowflake identical to the first. Elsa smiled. _I have a signature snowflake! It's _mine._ Snowflakes are never identical to one another._ _I'm trying to break down something I made, but it's actually making something _pretty_ for once. Not ugly, creepy, threatening icicles._ One more punch, and Elsa's smile grew bigger. _The same pretty snowflake pattern! It's mine, mine, mine! My powers can actually make something pretty!_

"What are you smiling at, Elsa?"

"I have a signature snowflake!" Elsa blurted. "Look!" She pointed to the ice barrier, which was now covered with three large, clearly defined identical snowflake patterns in the cracks.

"You're supposed to be taking the barrier down, not reinforcing it with your ice snowflake patterns."

Elsa's face fell. _Of course Dad doesn't care. Probably doesn't even want to know._ "I _am_ trying to take it down. The snowflake patterns are cracks, not more ice." A minute later, Elsa managed to get the barrier weak enough that it crashed to the floor into hundreds of pieces.

"That window needs to be replaced," Agdar said. "Don't go outside again. And don't-Elsa, what are you doing?"

Elsa darted into her room, ignoring the fact that she'd stepped on one of the sharp ice shards in the doorway with her bare feet. _You are _not_ replacing that window, Dad. I won't go outside though._ She lifted her hands, ready to put that ice barrier back up now that she was on the side she wanted to be on.

"Elsa, what are you doing?!"

Elsa glanced at her father and immediately wished she hadn't. _Dad thinks I'm going to freeze him or something. He looks…scared…_ She dropped her hands and walked back towards the doorway, slightly favoring the foot she'd stepped on an ice shard with. "I'm putting my barrier back up. Not freezing you. No matter what you think of me, I would _never_ do that," Elsa said sincerely. "At least not on purpose," she amended, remembering that she had hit Anna once, and she certainly hadn't meant to do that to her little sister. Elsa couldn't stand the mixed look on her father's face any longer. Up went her ice barrier, and Elsa turned from the doorway. "Just please let me know how Anna is doing. That's all I want." She plopped on her bed, looked at her foot, and pulled out a tiny splinter of ice. _Stupid ice shard-or should I say splinter. I hurt myself with my own ice…ironic._ Elsa tossed the ice splinter out the window before putting on some shoes and slipping her gloves back on. _My room is a hazard to everyone, including me._ She picked all the ice shards up and threw them out the window.

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa felt rather than actually saw the fact that her door was reinstalled. Elsa put on her nightgown before sitting curled in a ball on the window seat, gazing into the darkness outside. _I'm not going to bed till someone tells me how Anna is. I hope she's ok. Why couldn't I have been the one to fall instead of her? Anna didn't deserve that. She's not the one who was outside when she wasn't supposed to be. Although I do kinda doubt she had express permission to go outside late at night, either._ Elsa absentmindedly braided her hair into a single braid and pulled it over her shoulder. _I'm just going to go to sleep soon; I'll put it up like I'm supposed to tomorrow._ Elsa's mind flitted to her signature snowflake pattern she'd discovered earlier._ I want to see my snowflake pattern again. That was actually pretty._ Without considering it further, Elsa slipped her gloves off and tried to think how to make an actual ice snowflake like those cracks had formed. _I shouldn't be doing this. Mom and Dad would kill me if they found out I was using my powers on purpose, especially for something frivolous. _Elsa's face grew determined a second later. If she was going to be stuck with her powers for forever, then she wanted to see the one pretty thing she knew they could make. She had no idea how to purposely make _anything_ with her powers (besides ice barriers) after not using them for eight years. Elsa decided maybe her thoughts controlled what she was making, so she closed her eyes and thought about an oversized ice snowflake. Elsa felt a tingling sensation in her fingertips as the ice snowflake from her thoughts formed between her palms. She opened her eyes and stared at it. _I made that! I MADE THAT!_

The ice snowflake had the exact same pattern as the cracks Elsa had seen in the ice barrier earlier. A shimmering blue glow surrounded the snowflake as it floated in Elsa's hands. Tears of happiness slid down Elsa's face as she looked at the delicate, pretty, little object in her hands. _It's mine. I actually _made_ that. That isn't ugly or threatening. It's almost…beautiful. No, it _is_ beautiful. I'm…the Snow Princess. That's what I am. Just for tonight. _Elsa hesitantly took one hand off the snowflake and held it in her other hand. Her free hand made an identical snowflake, only tinier. She stuck it on the end of her braid and continued watching her original oversized ice snowflake, mesmerized. _I wish I could show Anna. Anna would love to see this._

That abruptly tore Elsa's happy thoughts away from her. _How can you think things like this, Elsa? Anna doesn't want to see that. You're dangerous. You're an abnormal freak. You almost killed your sister when you were little. And now you're calling yourself the Snow Princess? _"I'm a…a creep for thinking things like that. A monster," she mumbled aloud. Elsa's ice snowflake fell to the floor and shattered. Elsa glanced down at the shattered snowflake and burst into tears. _I feel about as broken on the inside as that looks on the outside._ The whole thing just felt too symbolic to Elsa's battered mind and heart. One second she was happy and the next everything was ruined and impossible to fix. Elsa grabbed her gloves before she could freeze something or make another mess. _Elsa, you need to dump all your emotions. Remember the emotions lockdown? It's the best thing to do. You need to stay sane. Sixteen-year-old girls should not be having terrifying flashbacks of hurting their sisters like you do sometimes. Shut it out. Shut everything out. _"I'll certainly not let myself lose my head and think my powers can be something pretty again," Elsa said. She would never purposely use her powers again aside from her ice barriers against her door. _I don't deserve to think they can be something pretty,_ Elsa thought. _I was stupid for even thinking that temporarily._

Elsa's inner monologue was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Who is it?"

"It's Gerda, Princess Elsa. Your sister has a slight concussion and a headache, but she's going to be just fine."

Elsa sighed in relief. "Are you _sure_ Anna is going to be fine?"

"Yes, she's already awake and talking clearly. You did the right thing by coming to get someone right away, princess, even though you knew doing so would get yourself in trouble."

_Anna's going to be fine! She's going to be ok! I actually did something right for once._ Elsa gave a dry laugh. "I'm in the same amount of trouble I always am. No more, no less." Elsa's tone changed to grateful as she added, "Thank you for telling me how Anna is doing."

"You are quite welcome, Princess Elsa."

Elsa listened to Gerda's footsteps fade away. Then she climbed into bed. _I'm going to go down to the castle library tomorrow. I want to sing and play Christmas carols on the piano, if I'm still able to do that. You can celebrate Christmas by yourself, Elsa._ She'd just lock the door to the library and everything would be just fine. Maybe Anna would hear Elsa playing and singing. Elsa certainly hoped so.

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	12. Christmas

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-Thanks for the review! I completely agree...Elsa should have some reason to like her powers.:)**

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa awoke early the next morning despite the fact she had stayed up half the night. She was happy that she hadn't had any bad dreams during the night. _No dreams at all, actually. That's fine with me. Wait, it's Christmas morning! I wonder what Anna is doing…_ Elsa hopped out of bed and dug through her closet for something red or green. She wanted something Christmas-y even if no one was going to see her. _Most of my stuff is blue 'cause it's my favorite color…_ There was absolutely nothing red or green in that closet aside from a dress that was way, way, way too small for her, which Elsa had no idea as to why it was still in there. _That must have been my Christmas dress from when I was eight, I guess, I don't know._ Elsa had just decided to put on one of her usual blue dresses when she heard a knock on her door.

"I have a present for you from your sister, Princess Elsa," Gerda said. "May I come in?"

"There's an ice barrier by the door…let me see if I can move it," Elsa answered from inside. Elsa remembered she'd made the barrier before the door was reattached, so if she could move it, then the door would be free to open. She looked closely at the ice, trying to find a weak attachment point. _It's stuck to the floor and my side of the wall... _ Elsa stuck her fingers between the wall and the ice at the small opening she'd found. Then she pulled on it as hard as she could. The ice and wall creaked loudly. _Come on, Elsa, you made this thing. Get it…unstuck._

"What are you doing in there?" Gerda asked.

"I've…almost…got it…" Elsa said. One more heave and the barrier slid away from the door in one piece, making Elsa stumble backwards and almost fall. "Ok, I got it moved." Elsa retreated to the opposite side of the room before saying, "You can come in now."

Elsa heard the lock click open, and Gerda came in holding a red dress with green trim. "Gerda, what's that for?"

"Princess Anna wanted you to have it. I quote, 'Elsa needs a Christmas dress! I bet she hasn't got one.', unquote. She'd been planning it for awhile now, but she reminded me yet again about it this morning. She made up the design herself."

Elsa smiled. _Anna was planning that when she thought I was mad at her then. _"Well, Anna was right. I don't have one. I hope it fits!" Elsa watched Gerda lay the dress on Elsa's bed.

"Oh, it will fit. I took the measurements off one of your dresses when I did the laundry before giving it back to you."

"Please tell Anna I said thank you very much," Elsa said. _I don't have a present for Anna! _"And give her…give her…this." Elsa pulled a blue-green dress out of her closet, remembering that her sister's favorite color had been green when she was little. "Tell her if she doesn't like it I won't mind. At least she'll know I don't hate her or something…Gerda, do you think my parents would let me see Anna just for a few minutes today? Because it's Christmas?" Elsa asked hopefully. _They won't though, Elsa. Don't get your hopes up just to be disappointed._

"I don't know, princess," Gerda said truthfully. "I'll ask for you, but I would suggest not getting all excited about the idea…"

"I know. I don't even want to get near Anna; I just want to talk to her," Elsa replied.

"Well, on another note, I brought you some Christmas cookies and milk as well." Gerda set the plate of cookies on Elsa's desk.

"Thank you."

* * *

After Gerda left and Elsa had shoved the ice barrier back into place, Elsa finally got a good look at her new Christmas dress from Anna. The dress was a deep cranberry red with a green rosemaling design along the hem and on the bodice with the slight sweetheart neckline; and it was sleeveless with wide off-the-shoulder straps. _I love it except for the fact it's sleeveless. _Elsa always wore long-sleeve dresses, all year long. _It's so pretty, though…maybe it'd be all right just for today._ Elsa slipped the dress over her head and smoothed it down in all the right places before looking in the mirror. _I actually look…grown up. Elegant, like Anna likes to call me._ She giggled as she looked at herself in the mirror, her messy single braid hanging over her bare shoulder. _That girl in the mirror doesn't look like a freak. She actually looks…pretty._ Elsa clasped her gloved hands out of sight behind her back._ There. Now all signs of my usual abnormal self are gone. Wait…I still have a snowflake in my braid. That needs to go._ She took the snowflake out of her hair and put it in the very back of a desk drawer; she couldn't quite bring herself to throw it out for some reason even though she thought she should. So out of sight it went into the drawer. _I can't deny that I still like that snowflake. It's _mine_, and it _is_ pretty. But I don't want to see it anymore. _Maybe she would want to see it again someday in the future.

But probably not.

Elsa undid her braid and brushed out her hair. _I wonder what would happen if I just left it loose. Nah, I better not. I'm trying to increase my chances of getting to see Anna, not mess it up more than it is already._ She wanted to do _something_ different though, something different to go with her Christmas dress from Anna. _You know what? I like that single braid best, so I'm going to fix it that way just for today._ A minute later, Elsa's braid was finished. She noticed a sprig of holly decorating the plate of cookies Gerda had brought her. Elsa stuck the holly on the end of her braid. Then she sat down at her desk and ate a few of her cookies (which were delicious) and drank her milk.

She wished someone would hurry up and come tell her whether she could see Anna or not. _Even if the answer is no, at least I won't be held in suspense any longer._ Elsa began pacing back and forth and realized she felt way too exposed in this dress, even with her gloves on. She debated on just taking it off, even though she genuinely liked the way the dress looked; but decided against it. _It's just bare arms and shoulders, Elsa. You'll be fine. If I do get to see Anna, I don't want her to think I didn't like her present._

* * *

Elsa was very glad she'd kept the dress on a few minutes later when she heard a knock on her door. She struggled to slide the ice barrier away from the door and shove it in her bathroom. Then she shut her bathroom door and glanced around her room to make sure there wasn't any more ice anywhere. _Ok, nothing else is in here…wait, there's snow in the corner._ Elsa tossed the snow out the window.

"Princess Elsa, if you want to see your sister, you two need to make it quick. Your mother said it was ok-only for today only for a minute-as long as you two were only talking and you didn't get anywhere near her, but I didn't ask your father. I have a feeling he wouldn't have agreed. May I open the door?" Gerda said quickly.

"Yes!" Elsa said happily as she headed to the other side of her room. _I'm going to get to see Anna!_

Elsa heard the lock click open; then Anna's footsteps come down the hall. Then Anna opened the door and said, "Merry Christmas, Elsa! Ooh, wow, that dress looks sooo pretty on you! I love it! You look all grown up!"

Elsa giggled. "Gerda told me you came up with the design. You would love it! Thank you, Anna. Is your head all right?" Elsa frowned as she noticed the bruise on her sister's forehead.

"Yeah, it's fine. I've got a hard head. I mean, I've still kind of got a headache, but otherwise it's fine," Anna said. "Elsa…I know what you did last night for me after I fell. And that it, like, got you in trouble. Thanks for helping me."

Elsa looked down at the floor. "You would have done the same thing, Anna. It was no big deal. It was my fault for being too slow…" _It was my fault anyway. If I'd immediately gone to help Anna instead of mulling it over, maybe she wouldn't have fallen in the first place._

"It was too a big deal. Stop blaming yourself for what happened. Remember what you told me last night? You said, 'You will not regret your actions regarding things beyond your control'. Elsa, it is _not_ your fault I fell. I don't think you could have gotten to me in time without falling yourself," Anna said.

_Maybe Anna's right. Even if I had immediately tried to get over to Anna, I wouldn't have been fast enough. I would have been closer, yes, but not close enough._ Elsa gave Anna a small smile. "Thank you, Anna."

"You are quite welcome, Elsa. Will you turn around? I wanna see your dress twirl!" Anna said.

Elsa obliged, and spun around, making the skirt of her dress bell out. "Is that what you wanted, Anna?"

"Yeah! Hey, wait a minute…Elsa, why are you wearing gloves again now? I know it's not 'cause you're cold…" Anna looked confused. _Elsa was outside in the snow last night without gloves or even shoes, and now she's wearing them inside? That's odd…_

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back out of sight. "I…have to," she said. _Why did Anna have to ask me that? It's a logical question, but I can't answer it properly._

"Why do you have to?"

Anna's innocently curious expression made Elsa want to tell her sister why, but she couldn't. _Not only would I be in the worst trouble on the planet, I can't ruin Anna's innocence by telling her that her sister is a freak. _Although Elsa didn't want to admit it, deep down inside she was also slightly afraid her sister would be scared of her if she knew, especially if Anna knew what had happened when she and Elsa were little. After all, Elsa _knew_ her parents were scared of her. She could see it in their faces whenever they were around her. Elsa didn't think she could stand it if her little sister was scared of her too. _Or worse yet Anna might hate me or something. Big sisters aren't supposed to almost kill their little sisters. Only monsters would do something like that. _"Anna, you…you…you'd b-better leave," Elsa stammered. "I…I'll…I'll miss you. M-merry Christmas, Anna." Elsa turned away and rested her forehead against the wall, trying not to cry.

"Gerda, did I do something wrong? Elsa seemed happy and then…well, she's over there crying in the corner now," Anna whispered.

Elsa heard Anna's whisper and suddenly whipped around in Anna's direction before saying, "You did _not_ do anything wrong, Anna! Just…shut the door, please. I…I need to be alone." _Anna, please don't think you did something wrong because of the way I act. Please._

"Elsa, it's Christmas! You shouldn't be alone!"

"I'm just trying to protect you!" Elsa said. _From me…_

"How does you shutting me out protect me?!" Anna was incredulous at that idea.

_You don't understand, Anna._ Elsa felt like she was about to lose control, so she ran across the room to shut the door.

Anna just _knew_ what Elsa was going to do. _She's gonna shut that door again._ "Elsa, wait. Please don't slam-"

Too late. The door slammed shut, and once again Elsa and Anna were separated by a locked door. It wasn't a moment too soon for Elsa, who immediately ended up making ice under her feet the instant the door was shut. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

* * *

Out in the hall, Anna gave Elsa's door a kick. "That's no fair, Elsa! I wasn't finished talking to you! We even had _permission_!"

"Well, I'm finished talking to you! You don't understand!" Elsa blurted before she could stop herself. _It's not whether we have permission or not, Anna. I don't want to hurt you again!_

Gerda tried to get Anna to leave Elsa's door, knowing nothing good could come of the two girls practically yelling at each other; but Anna wasn't having it. "Yeah, I don't understand 'cause it doesn't make any sense!"

"It makes more sense than you know! Leave me alone!"

"You've been alone for _eight years_, Elsa! That's plenty long enough! Who wants to be alone for that long? Nobody, that's who!"

"_ 'Nobody, that's who!'_ Monumental deduction, Anna! Do you think I enjoy being alone all the time?! 'Cause I don't! I hate it; I abhor it; I loathe it!" Elsa shot back. She knew she should just shut up before everything got worse, but a tiny part of her _liked_ shouting. It felt _good_ to tell somebody how she really felt. Elsa's purely (at the moment) angry feelings made amber-colored ice begin spreading on the floor. _I'm so tired of trying and failing to be that perfect, good girl I'm supposed to be. But I have to. If anything, just for Anna's sake so she doesn't have to._

"If you hate it so much, why don't you stop isolating yourself in your room?!" Anna clapped her hand over her mouth a second later. _I know Elsa doesn't isolate herself completely of her own accord. She can't stop even if she a hundred percent wants to. But then why did she shut the door on me? No one made her do that just now…_

There was dead silence on Elsa's side of the door for a good fifteen seconds. Snow began swirling around Elsa's room, but she didn't make an effort to calm herself down right then. _How dare Anna say that. It's not entirely of my own choosing! If I had my way, I'd still stay by myself in my room; but I would talk to Anna through the door and get out of here when there's no one around that I might hurt. I hate myself. I hate everything and everybody! I wish I could disappear so I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. Or better yet, my powers could disappear. Yeah. That'd be perfect. I HATE THEM. That's why I'm stuck in here. I can't leave. I'm trapped. I have responsibilities for being the queen of Arendelle in the future. I wish I didn't. I wish Anna was the heir apparent, not me. But she doesn't even want to be. I hate this room. I hate that door. I hate my powers. I hate what Anna just asked me. I can't stop 'isolating myself in my room'. I can't tell Anna why. I can't make her understand. I can't even control myself! I can't do anything I want to do!_ Elsa felt like she was going to explode. Too late, Elsa realized she'd let herself, her powers, and her thoughts become way, way, _way_ beyond her control. "I CAN'T!" Before Elsa really knew what was happening, she felt something explode out of her with a painful yank and the next moment, her room's walls were covered in sheets of ice. Elsa stood in the center of her room, taking deep shuddering breaths and blinking in confusion. _What just happened to me? That was…freaky…_

"Elsa, what just happened in there?" Anna's voice sounded very far away to Elsa.

"That's what…I'd like…to know…" Elsa gasped out, frowning as she looked around her icy room. There was a thick strip of ice running around her entire room, and then above and below it; the ice spread all over the walls, growing thinner as it got further from the strip. _That was so weird. I've never made that much ice in one go like that. And I've certainly never "exploded" like that before. It actually _hurt_. No more emotions, Elsa. See the trouble you cause when you get emotional? You make huge icy messes and you yell at your sister. _Elsa suddenly felt horrible for the things she'd spouted at Anna, even if they had been things she'd said in the heat of anger. _Or in my case, icy anger, _she thought. And it certainly didn't make Elsa feel any better when she realized that her little explosion episode meant her powers were stronger than she'd previously thought. They were _still_ getting stronger. _Great. Just great. If this happens again, next time it might not stay contained to my room. It might leak into the hall or something. Or blast through the walls._

Gerda knew that Elsa had definitely lost control somehow, but she wasn't sure exactly what had happened. She managed to convince Anna to leave, and just in time, as Agdar and Idun were coming down the hall.

"Merry Christmas, Elsa!" was the last thing Elsa heard from Anna as her footsteps faded away down the hall.

* * *

Due to the ice explosion episode, Elsa didn't trust herself to go the library as planned to sing and play Christmas carols. She spent the rest of the day eating her cookies, reading a book, and gazing out the window. The one nice thing about the day was that it snowed again outside, which Elsa enjoyed watching. No one knocked on her door the rest of the day. When it grew late and Elsa was tired, she took off her Christmas dress and hung it in the very back of her closet. She would never wear it again unless she was going to be able to be around Anna safely, just being herself, ice powers and all. _Which will probably be never._ With that pessimistic thought, Elsa turned out the kerosene lamp, climbed into bed, and pulled the covers over her head. _Merry Christmas, Elsa. Yeah, right._

* * *

_Elsa stood on the summit of the North Mountain. There was no Anna with her this time. Elsa could see a blizzard happening far below in Arendelle, but she didn't know whether she was the cause of it or not. "Well, who cares, it's not my problem!" she shouted from her spot on the summit. "I like the cold; it's not _my_ fault if no one else does!"_ _Just for good measure, Elsa whipped up swirling snow on the summit as well. No one could stop her!_

_ "Elsa! What are you doing?!" Anna asked._

_ Elsa whipped around in surprise. "Why are you here?"_

_ Anna frowned. "I'm here because of you. But you've turned crazy! So this is why you were isolated in your room all the time. You're a freak of nature! You froze everything!"_

_ "I AM NOT CRAZY!" Elsa screamed. "I might be a freak, but I'm not the one calling my long-lost sister names! Get lost if you're going to be that way!" The swirling snow on the summit whipped up stronger._

_ "Wouldn't you call me names if our positions were reversed?" Anna asked._

_ "I don't know! I don't know anything!" Elsa cried. "Just leave me alone and go away!"_

_ Suddenly a mysterious flash appeared, and Elsa and Anna switched places._

_ "Thanks, Elsa," Anna grinned. "Now I can clean up the mess you made with all that ice and snow."_

_ "It isn't my mess now! It's YOURS. I don't have powers anymore. YOU do. So fix it. I bet it won't work." Elsa crossed her arms and watched Anna unsuccessfully try to thaw the huge amount of ice and snow down in Arendelle._

_ "I CAN'T!" Anna shouted._

_ "The original freak rests her case! I told you it wouldn't work!" Elsa replied. "It's hopeless! You're an abnormal freak! Dangerous! A monster!"_

_ Another bright flash appeared and suddenly both girls were back in their original places, and Anna was the one shouting the mean names at Elsa. Elsa collapsed into the snow and began crying, but a moment later she jumped to her feet. "You want a monster? I'll give you a monster!" A furious Elsa began blasting everything around her with ice. "Now get out of here before I hurt you too!"_

_ Anna shook her head. "This isn't you, Elsa! Stop! You can do it!"_

_ "IT IS ME! I've just had enough! I can't stop! Leave me alone!" Elsa shouted._

_ "Elsa, maybe we can-"_

_ Too late. One of the blasts of ice made a direct hit on Anna, and she turned into solid ice._

_ "NO! NO! I didn't mean it, Anna! I STILL LOVE YOU! Please come back!" Elsa screamed. It was no use. In one last fit of fury, Elsa unleashed everything her powers had within her on the already-frozen kingdom below. Everything was solid ice, everywhere._

Elsa's own agonized screams woke her up. "NO!" She looked around her snow-covered room in relief. _It was just a dream. A terrible, horrible dream._ Elsa wrapped her arms around herself, willing herself to calm down and stop shaking. _Elsa, calm down. That didn't really happen, thank goodness. That wasn't real. _Fifteen minutes passed before Elsa had calmed down enough to try to get back to sleep. _I can't stay in here anymore tonight._ Not knowing where else to turn, she got up, lit a candle, and grabbed a pillow before heading through the secret passages to the entrance to Anna's room. Elsa curled up against the secret entrance and managed to get back to sleep, feeling comforted by the fact that her sister was just on the other side of the entrance.

* * *

When Elsa awoke in the morning to see nothing but pitch black around her, she panicked for a moment before remembering she'd gone to sleep in the secret passages next to Anna's room. She fumbled in the dark to find and relight her candle. _And that awful dream! What was that all about? It was so…creepy. Like Anna and I weren't even acting like ourselves. _Elsa was in no hurry to go back to her room; she wasn't looking forward to trying to clean up all the ice and snow that she knew was all over the place in there. She shuddered, thinking about what had made her make all that mess in the first place. _My dream-self got pushed over the edge. I can't let myself get anywhere near that point in real life. Dream-Elsa was even more of a destructive freak than I thought I thought of myself as in real life. She totally lost it and froze everything on purpose! Am I really that rotten? _"Do I even want to know the answer?" Elsa whispered aloud. _No, Elsa, you don't want to know. You should just accept reality, that you may not be quite like that now, but you could get like that in the future. _"I won't!" she hissed. "I will _never_ turn my sister to ice and freeze Arendelle! Never, never, _ever!_ I'll die myself before I kill Anna!" _Shut up, Elsa. You want Anna to hear you? Well, Anna's probably still asleep, stupid brain, _Elsa retorted to her nasty thoughts._ I must be crazy. I'm literally having a conversation with my own thoughts. That is so stupid._

* * *

Elsa lost track of time as she just sat unmoving in the passages right outside Anna's room. Hours later, she heard Anna talking on the other side of the wall in her room.

"Mom, for one thing, it's the day after Christmas, so I shouldn't have to do lessons anyway! But, and several more but's, that's NOT why I shan't do 'em right now. I won't do a lick of lessons until I get to talk to you and Dad about something really, really important," Elsa heard Anna say.

"What is it about?" Idun asked.

"It's about Elsa," Anna replied.

Inside the entrance to the secret passages, Elsa immediately stood up and hightailed it out of the area. _I don't know what Anna's going to tell Mom, but I don't want to know. _She headed back to her room and took a deep breath before stepping inside. Elsa smiled in relief when she realized most of the mess in her room was just snow, not ice. _At least snow doesn't look creepy or threatening._

**A/N: Elsa's Christmas dress is supposed to look like Anna's coronation dress in the movie, but with the rosemaling design off Elsa's coronation dress's skirt. Oh yeah, and Elsa's Christmas dress is cranberry red with green trim.;) (Hopefully that kinda made sense...I hope so.:P)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	13. Anna

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, I like Elsa's Christmas dress too.;) **

**Lindstrom-This time I did knowingly put some of the movie dialogue. It was a conscious decision this time.:P I'm glad it didn't come off as too 'forced'. It just seemed like a believable reason to me...I thought Elsa might be afraid Anna wouldn't like her anymore if she told Anna what happened and/or her secret. Glad that seemed believable too...:) What Anna says is in this chapter.;)**

**On to the story! Sorry for the shortness of this chapter; it just seemed sensible to do a chapter break.:P**

Back in Anna's room, Anna convinced her mother to get her father as well. "You guys both have to hear this."

When both her parents were in her room finally, Anna began pacing back and forth. _I gotta be logical and not explode or talk without thinking. Mom and Dad know I was outside with Elsa, so I shouldn't get Elsa into any more trouble than she is right now. So, yeah…_ "Mom, Dad…you know what Elsa told me when we were outside?"

"What did she tell you when you two were outside?" Agdar asked suspiciously.

"Good grief, Dad, you don't gotta act all suspicious!" Anna burst out. "What do you think Elsa told me, that she's a…a…" Anna tried to think of something insanely crazy. "Oh, I don't know, that she's a secret telekinetic or something? Or that she can turn herself into literal ice?" Little did Anna know she was dancing dangerously close to the truth with her second proposition. "The only 'different' thing about her is that she has natural immunity to cold. Which is not dangerous; it's just really, really cool. How come I'm not immune to cold too? Elsa's my sister, after all…Anyway, never mind. That's not the thing I wanted to say. Do you want to know what Elsa told me?"

"Do get to the point, Anna."

"Well, me and Elsa-I mean Elsa and I-were talking, and I asked her if I could help her fix whatever the problem is so she'd be happy again. I don't care what you guys or her say; she is _not_ ok. She's scared of people getting anywhere near her for goodness sakes! It's ridiculous. So Elsa says something that she has to deal with the problem on her own and that there's something wrong with her that can't be cured. She called herself _defective_! ELSA SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CALLING HERSELF THAT!" Anna began speaking louder and faster as she went on.

"Quit shouting, Anna."

Anna bit her lip. _Oops. Shouting's not gonna help my case for Elsa. _"Sorry. Ok, so then of course I was like 'Elsa you are not defective and even if you were I wouldn't care' and then she said 'thanks for trying to make me feel better'." Anna made sure to leave out the part about reading Elsa's feelings, since she was pretty sure Elsa didn't want anyone to know that. "And then I said 'Trying to? I failed then, didn't I' and then do you know what Elsa said? Do you know what she said?"

"Spit it out, Anna…what did Elsa say?"

Anna drew herself up to her full height and began speaking in her best rendition of Elsa's regal and assertive tone. "She said, 'You will NOT say you failed at anything, Princess Anna of Arendelle! This is my problem, not yours. It is _not_ your fault. You will _not_ blame yourself for the way I behave…" Anna paused, trying to remember Elsa's exact words. "Oh yeah, 'You will _not_ regret your actions regarding things beyond your control, EVER. You will _not _insult yourself for anything.' And then, do you know what she ended with? She said, 'You will _not_ change your identity to match people's expectations.' Changing identity to match people's expectations! I did not say ANYTHING that had anything remotely to do with that rotten concept, and I know she didn't get that idiotic idea from nowhere! So where do you suppose she got it, hmm?" Anna resisted the urge to start shouting since she knew that would definitely not help.

"Are you implying we put the idea to do that in Elsa's head?"

"Spot on! She has no contact with anyone else, Dad! I know Gerda sure didn't tell her anything like that. So YOU gave her that idea! WHY?! Why would you want Elsa to be anything except just plain _herself_?" Anna asked. "In fact, I think she isolates herself in her room because you make her do it! Elsa was still kinda nervous and scared and stuff outside, but I know she was happy to see me. She wasn't all like 'Get lost Anna 'cause you're a pain in the butt' or anything. It's _horrid_ what you guys are doing to her!" Anna was still hurt that Elsa had literally slammed the door in her face voluntarily on Christmas Day, but Anna decided right now, she was just going to focus on the part Elsa was _not_ doing of her own accord.

"Anna, that's enough. We are not doing anything to Elsa."

Anna crossed her arms. _Not doing anything to Elsa?! Are you kidding me? _"What do you call Elsa staying in that room all the time for the last eight years? That. Is. Horrid."

"It's for her own good and yours."

"I don't believe you! There is NO reason why Elsa should stay locked in that room 24/7. It's stupid, stupid, stupid! And forget the whole door thing and the fact I can't even talk to Elsa anymore…how about why is she so scared and upset all the time? Tell me that!" Anna was getting mad. Actually, scratch that, she was already mad. _Very _mad. "What did you guys do to the happy, carefree, fun-loving girl that used to play with me when we were little?"

"Elsa is growing up and knows her future responsibilities."

_That's fudging if I've ever heard it, _Anna thought. "Doesn't matter; I don't care! Elsa should NOT be terrified like that all the time. I'll bet after she came running in here to get help after I fell, she was shaking and having some sort of memory flashback thing, wasn't she?" Of course Anna had not actually seen Elsa go inside for help, but she was somehow _absolutely_ positive that was what happened afterwards.

Agdar and Idun exchanged a glance. They honestly weren't sure. Elsa was an expert on concealing her emotions, and it was nearly impossible to read her most of the time. Still…Anna had to have gotten that idea from somewhere. "Did Elsa do that while you two were outside talking?" Idun asked.

(The only reason Anna was able to read Elsa was mostly because Elsa did not mind letting Anna know her true feelings. Elsa only tried to conceal her emotions around Anna because she was trying to control her powers. Otherwise, Elsa didn't care one bit if Anna knew how she felt.)

"She like zoned out and was completely thinking about something going on in her head, yeah," Anna said. _Um, I wonder if Elsa wants anyone to know that. She probably doesn't. I'm gonna change the topic, I think._ "So, anyway, what's with this 'change your identity to match people's expectations' thing?"

"Sometimes you need to do that, at least partly, to get things done."

"And when people's expectations are wrong or bad?" Anna asked in an irritated tone. "Wait, what? It doesn't matter what people's expectations are anyway. It's stupid to change your identity to please others!"

"I assume you are insinuating that our expectations for Elsa are wrong or bad?"

"If those expectations include Elsa staying in her room 24/7 and being scared and upset all the time, then duh yes!"

"Anna…this discussion is over. Don't bring it up again."

"Bring what up again?" Anna asked far too innocently, knowing that was a rather smart-alecky reply but not particularly caring.

"All right, now you're just being smart. Don't bring up the identity thing or anything regarding Elsa again."

"SHE'S MY SISTER! Elsa's…hurting for some reason, and I still want to know why!" Anna replied, feeling exasperated. "Did you ever think that maybe I could help her? I remember back in the summer when Elsa got sick she had some icky dream and she was crying. Well, she let me hold her and give her a hug then, and she calmed down and fell back asleep. So _maybe,_ just_ mayyybe_, I could like, you know, hang around Elsa more?" Anna finished. "Oh yeah, I still want to know why Elsa let me hug her when she was sick and not now. That doesn't make any sense, either. You made her think she's dangerous, and whatever it is doesn't apply to when she's sick! But I KNOW she's not! I just know it!"

"Anna, this topic is over. Do your lessons and don't concern yourself with it anymore. And don't knock on your sister's door anymore, either." Anna's parents left her room.

"ELSA ISN'T AN 'IT'!" Anna yelled after them. _Ok, I don't think I helped anything at all. I didn't get any of my questions answered either. Mom and Dad are being so unfair! And if _I_ think they're being unfair to _me_, how must _Elsa_ feel stuck in that room all the time with nothing but her thoughts for company? Poor Elsa…if Mom and Dad are really treating her like she's dangerous and wanting her to change her identity somehow, no wonder she acts all scared and upset all the time. She's been brainwashed. I gotta be there for her even if no one else will. Ok, so I'm not supposed to knock on her door…phooey to that. I'll knock when no one's around and I'll leave notes under her door. Elsa needs a friend…even if she thinks she's better off alone._

* * *

Elsa, who was still disturbed by that creepy dream the night before, was very happy when Anna pushed a note under her door later that day. _"Dear Elsa, I told Mom and Dad what you told me. You know, the changing your identity to match people's expectations thing? Elsa, don't do that to yourself, no matter what our parents think. It's wrong. Anyway, I KNOW I didn't help fix things for the two of us. Or get my questions answered. But I want you to know that I'll always be out here for you. I won't knock every day (I got forbidden to do so), but I'm here for you anyway. You need a friend, even if you think you're better off alone. I love you, Elsa. Your sister, Anna." _Elsa's tears dripped onto the paper, slightly smearing Anna's scrawly handwriting. Elsa immediately brushed the tears off her face. _I might need a friend, but I don't deserve one. Especially one as good as Anna. Anna, you're half-right. It IS wrong to change your identity to match others' expectations, but it's not wrong for me. I have to. My identity is that of an abnormal freak. A dangerous abnormal freak at that. That identity needs to go into oblivion. Why would I want to keep that? _

_ Elsa, you weren't always an abnormal freak. At one time, you were just a little girl playing with her powers in the ballroom with her sister. That whole freak business started after you hurt your sister. Maybe you can fix it. You weren't once, so maybe you can be just Elsa again instead of the girl with the uncontrollable ice powers._ "No. I can't. I'm stupid for even thinking that could happen for a second. I'm sixteen now, not eight. I wish I was still naïve enough to be that way, but I'm not, and I can't change that," Elsa said aloud. _I have to be perfect; good like I'm supposed to be, powers or no powers. At least Anna knows she should be herself. My self is rotten, and I wish I could just be me, powers and all; but I can't. I'm dangerous. My true self doesn't fit anywhere…certainly not as the future queen of Arendelle. I just have to deal with the fact. _She quickly put Anna's letter in a desk drawer out of sight. Elsa could almost hear her dream-self shouting those horrible names at dream-Anna when she hadn't been able to thaw the mess dream-Elsa herself had made originally. Then, to make it worse, she recalled Anna's voice calling Elsa those names. Then, her own self saying, _You want a monster? I'll give you a monster! _"Stop it, Elsa! Reality check!" Elsa's own voice sounded far away and almost detached to her. She took several slow, deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. _Ok, Elsa. Calm down. Those things. DID NOT. Happen. It. Was. A. Dream._ Elsa realized she was standing in the middle of a circle of icicles jutting out of the snowy floor. _Great, I was just reenacting on a much smaller scale what I did in that dream._ Elsa gave the icicles a vicious kick and determined she would _never_ be that girl from her dream. "That's not me. I won't let it be." _I will not turn Anna to solid ice. I will not freeze Arendelle. Never._

Elsa closed her eyes and willed herself to just be _cold_. Emotionally as cold as the powers over ice and snow she was born with. _Forget emotions on lockdown. I will not let myself have any emotions to lock down in the first place. So there. That should fix my control issues about my powers. Conceal. Don't feel._

She did have one consolation. _At least Anna can be herself. And she knows she should._

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:) (The next one WILL be longer.)**


	14. Storm

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-Yeah, too bad no one listens to her.:/ I like to think Anna might be impulsive and silly sometimes, but she does have good sense about her, if you know what I mean.:) Elsa...uh, she seriously should listen to Anna.:( Anyway...:P**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, you actually told me you couldn't wait till their parents die, sis.;) Which is understandable...:P **

**On to the story!:)**

A few months later, Elsa gazed out her still-missing window. That was one thing she had managed to keep from happening. She liked having the outside air and weather come in. All winter, she enjoyed seeing and touching the natural snow. Now it was almost spring, and most of the snow outdoors had melted. Elsa was very disappointed. _No, I'm not disappointed. I feel nothing._ Nevertheless, no matter what Elsa tried to make herself think the last couple days, the fact that winter was almost over _was_ disappointing to her.

But today, Elsa felt like something was going to happen soon. _Something with the weather. And not spring._ Elsa was first afraid that she had done something to the weather, but she was certain she hadn't. Besides, even if she had, wouldn't whatever it was have happened already? Elsa's powers responded immediately to her emotions, and she could always 'tell' when she had done something or not. But now…Elsa thought she was crazy for thinking it, but she was pretty sure she was somehow _feeling_ something in the air. Something that told her a heavy blizzard was coming. Elsa felt antsy, jumpy, and restless. She could feel something swirling inside her, an internal storm, so to speak. The 'internal storm' was actually always there; but now it felt, well, agitated, not suppressed into nothing as it usually did. And the agitated feeling was not because her emotions were agitated. Elsa just somehow _knew_ it had something to do with the weather, even though this had never happened to her before. _Are my powers making me forecast the weather somehow? Like how animals can know when it's about to rain, kind of?_ She shook her head. _Come on, Elsa, that's silly. But what if it isn't? What if I'm right? I should tell someone._

Elsa quickly decided against telling anyone when she realized that the whole idea that she could 'feel' the upcoming weather was ludicrous. And it was more than a little likely that she would end up being blamed for the out of season snowstorm if she predicted its occurrence. Elsa had no idea if she was capable of producing a wide-range snowstorm, but she certainly didn't want to find out. _Still…maybe I could drop a hint to Anna or something. She wouldn't rat on me if I specifically asked her not to. But I'm forbidden to have any contact with her…and it's better for Anna if I don't. Yet I haven't replied to her for a long time now and she does still give me notes and stuff…I think it'd be okay._ Elsa solidified her idea. She would drop a hint to Anna in a note under the door next time Anna left her one. Actually, no; she would say something aloud so she wouldn't be sticking Anna with having to worry about disposing of the evidence that Elsa had said anything to her.

* * *

When Elsa heard Anna's footsteps coming down the hall (she could easily tell the sounds of her sister's gait from anyone else's), she went over to her door and gave the loudest whisper she dared. "_Anna!_ _Anna, I have to tell you something!_"

For a moment Anna was completely bewildered as to where that voice was coming from, but she quickly realized it was Elsa. _She hasn't replied to me for months. Why now all of a sudden? Not that I'm complaining…_ "Elsa?" Anna quickly pushed her note for Elsa under the door.

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa picked up the note and then began speaking quickly as she said, "Anna, I think there's a blizzard coming. You have to warn Mom and Dad so they'll have supplies and whatnot ready." _Come on, Anna, please believe me…_

"Elsa, practically _all_ the snow outside is melted. Why would you think there's going to be a blizzard now all of a sudden?" Anna sounded puzzled.

"I don't know; I can just feel it somehow. Please believe me! Just…don't tell our parents I'm the one that tipped you off, okay?" Elsa asked.

"I won't rat on you," Anna promised.

"Thank you, Anna_._ Please warn them…please…" Her work done by telling Anna, Elsa turned away from the closed door and returned to the window seat. Talking to Anna made Elsa _feel_, and she was not going to do that any more. _Emotions cause trouble. They make bad things happen. And in my case, that means freezing things and potentially becoming that destructive girl from that dream. So no emotions, Elsa._ Elsa could hear Anna still talking on the other side of the door, but she forced herself to zone out and ignore her sister. _Goodbye, Anna._

* * *

"Elsa? Elsa, c'mon, please answer again! I still don't get why you'd think there's a blizzard coming all of a sudden…Elsa?" _Elsa's not gonna reply anymore…she gave me the warning and now she's totally done talking…ok, then. _Anna was confused by Elsa's warning. How on earth could her sister innately know a blizzard was coming? Elsa _had_ to be just being paranoid…right? _But Elsa didn't particularly sound freaked out. She just sounded concerned that we wouldn't be ready for an unexpected snowstorm. I don't know if Elsa is right or not, but Elsa definitely believes there is a blizzard coming. I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad, but I don't think they're going to believe me._ To ward off any suspicion that Elsa had given Anna the tip-off, Anna waited until dinner to say anything. "Mom, Dad, I've got something important to say."

"And what might that be?"

"That there's a blizzard coming," Anna replied.

"That there's a _what_ coming?!" Agdar asked.

"A blizzard," Anna repeated.

"Anna, why would you think there is a blizzard coming now?" Idun asked.

Anna remembered what Elsa had told her, so she answered, "I don't know; I can just feel it, I guess." _I'm not ratting on Elsa. Just…no._

"Wait, did Elsa give you that idea?"

Anna made a face. "Why would you think _Elsa_ gave me that idea? I haven't seen her for months!" _Well, I haven't _seen_ her…so not a lie._

"I know, honey, but it's for your own good and hers."

Forget the blizzard topic; now Anna was mad. "DON'T CALL ME HONEY IF YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT! That is _not_ good for me and it certainly isn't good for Elsa! You're going to make her go crazy staying in one room all the time! She's gonna get psych-psychlo-psychlogicly disturbed or something!" _Uh, I still didn't say that word right. Psycho-psycholog-psychologically. Yeah, that's it!_ "Psychologically, I mean."

"Table manners, Anna."

"Don't care," Anna huffed, purposely putting her elbow on the table and then loudly slurping her milk. "Was that better?"

"No, it was not. Anna, you know better than that. If you can't behave properly at the dinner table, then go upstairs to your room."

"Shan't." Anna was hit with an _ingenious_ idea. She'd use bad table manners on purpose until her parents let Elsa out of her room! It was foolproof, right? _Mom and Dad can't stand bad table manners. It'll have to work sooner or later!_ "I'm going to keep using yucky table manners till you let Elsa leave her room."

"Anna, don't be ridiculous."

"I'msh not beingsh ridiculoush," Anna answered with her mouth full. She swallowed before adding, "I promise I'll stop the second Elsa gets to leave her room."

Agdar and Idun traded glances. "Anna, Elsa cannot leave her room. Stop eating like that."

Anna shook her head. _Uh-uh! You let Elsa out. Then I stop. So there._

"Anna, go upstairs to your room."

"Ok. I'm finished eating anyway. What about the blizzard?"

"Anna, there is no blizzard coming. Don't worry yourself with that. It was probably your imagination."

Anna rolled her eyes, earning herself another glare, before heading out of the dining hall and running upstairs. She wrote a quick note to Elsa and stuffed it under her door.

* * *

Elsa picked up Anna's note. _"They didn't believe me. I'm sorry, Elsa; I tried. The good news is that I didn't tell on you, just like I promised. Love, Anna."_ Elsa frowned before stuffing the note into the drawer where she kept the rest of the things Anna had stuffed under her door. _Well, I guess that's that. Anna and I tried. If something happens, it will _not_ be my fault. Not this time. There isn't anything else I can do._

* * *

A few days later, the blizzard Elsa had predicted hit in all its wintery fury right after Elsa woke up. Oddly enough, Elsa actually felt _calmer_ now. The internal storm within her had settled mostly. _Why do I feel calmer now and there's a storm raging outside? I'm backwards. Twisted. It should be the opposite._ "But it's not. I gave the warning and no one listened. Not my fault. Not this time." Elsa stood tall in front of her window, watching the snow whistle past outside. The direction the wind was blowing made it so that Elsa's window was parallel with the wind. She put her hands on her hips and smiled. _That's not my storm. It doesn't bother me. I'm not upset. I'm not scared. I'm just here. _Elsa still wondered what exactly had let her know the storm was coming. _It's so weird…I know it has to have something to do with my powers, but _what_? I have no idea…_

Elsa's musings were interrupted by a loud rhythmic banging on her door. _Anna? That's her signature knock, but she never bangs on my door like that…oh, she must have done that because of the howling wind outside. But Anna wrote months ago that she was forbidden to do that…_ Elsa hoped very much that no one was nearby. Both she and Anna would be sure to get in trouble otherwise.

"Elsa, you were right about the blizzard!" Anna said loudly. "That is so cool! Pun intended!"

Elsa grinned on the other side of the door, but she was still nervous Anna was going to get them both in trouble. She ran to her desk and grabbed several pieces of paper and a pen. _"It's more than cool-it's icy! I guess I WAS right about the blizzard, wasn't I? I'm sorry I yelled at you back at Christmas about the whole ICEolation thing. (Genuine apology. Pun intended.:)) Anna, let's trade notes back and forth for a few minutes. Just be ready to leave in a hurry in case someone comes by. Your sister, Elsa."_ Elsa shoved the note under the door before really thinking about whether this was a good idea or not.

Anna was surprised to see a paper appear on her side out in the hall. She giggled and said, "Be right back." Anna ran to her room and came back with a pen.

Elsa waited impatiently inside her room, tapping her foot. _Elsa, this was a Very. Bad. Idea. Now you and Anna are going to get in humongous trouble. _"Not if we don't get caught, though," she said aloud. A minute later, the note she'd pushed under the door to Anna appeared back under the door with a reply from Anna added to it. _"It's ok, Elsa. I know you don't stay in there entirely of your own choice. You have a good sense of humor! The ice-olation joke was funny, but it's also way too literal. You shouldn't have to stay in there all the time. I'm doing something to try to convince Mom and Dad to let you come out. I've got my hightail-it-away feet on. We won't get caught. Love, Anna."_ Elsa smiled in a half-sad, half-happy way and wrote her reply.

Anna made a face as she read Elsa's reply. _"No, Anna, it's not okay. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't shut you out. But __I feel like__ I can't do anything else. I'm trying to keep you safe, but I keep messing up. __Anna, I feel like I'm a failure.__ I don't deserve a friend like you. Why do you still write notes to me? To someone who ignores you? I don't know what you're doing to try to convince Mom &amp; Dad about that, but don't do it. They won't change their minds, and it really isn't safe for you to be around me."_ Elsa had tried to cross out certain parts, but Anna could still read what it said. _She's given up on trying to change things. She really believes this whole stupid arrangement is for our own good…_ Anna quickly scribbled out her reply.

_"Elsa, you're right; you shouldn't shut me out, but it's not really your fault. I think Mom &amp; Dad brainwashed you into thinking this arrangement is for our own good. It's NOT, Elsa. You're going to get psychlogicly (I KNOW that's spelled wrong) disturbed or something from staying cooped up all the time. It's not good for you. Like when we were outside Christmas Eve and you, like, flashbacked to something unpleasant…that shouldn't happen. And I miss you! You DO deserve a friend, Elsa. I still write notes to you because YOU'RE MY SISTER! You can stay locked in there forever and I will still do that. Love ('CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT), Anna."_ Elsa began crying as she read Anna's reply. She scribbled a reply that only said 'Thank you for everything Anna', and pushed it back under the door. _I'm probably already cuckoo. Anna's right. She knows more about me than I gave her credit for. Why is it that my little sister can tell I have problems dealing with…life, and Mom and Dad don't? Anna doesn't even know my real…issue. _"It's because I don't mind if Anna knows how I really feel," she said out loud. "Because I can't trust anyone else."

Anna heard Elsa's words. "Elsa, do you _always_ completely conceal your feelings around Mom and Dad?"

Elsa gave a start before realizing Anna must have overheard what she'd said. _What have I got to lose? _"I have to, Anna, for multiple reasons. It sounds awful, but I don't trust them," Elsa answered tearfully, although her voice also had a steely undertone to it. She struggled to verbally express the rest of her thoughts on the matter. _I'm awful at explaining myself out loud… _"I've had plenty of time to…consider things in here. I don't know if Mom and Dad have our best interests at heart or not. I can't think of a better arrangement, because it IS true that I'm…defective, and can't be around people. But I keep thinking there _has_ to be a better w-" Elsa figuratively froze when she heard another voice in the hallway. _Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. And Anna's got our conversation. I'd be mortified if Dad reads that. I gotta get it back. Destroy it before he reads it. But the door's locked… That noisy storm outside is what kept me from hearing someone coming soon enough…_

"What are you doing sitting in front of your sister's room?" Agdar asked.

Anna thought quickly. "Um, I was just…looking at the snowflake and flower pattern on Elsa's door. It's really…interesting! Yeah!" _Crummiest excuse ever! That's the best I could come up with?!_

* * *

Inside her room, Elsa decided she was just going to break the lock open again. She'd rather get in trouble for that rather than have her father read the things on that paper. Elsa took a deep breath before slipping her glove off and freezing the lock open. _Elicit calm, Elsa. I am not scared. I am not upset. I am just here. _She put her glove back on, flung the door open, and saw two shocked faces in the hall. Anna because 'Oh, wow, Elsa opened the door!'; and her father because that door had been locked on the outside. Elsa made her mind dismiss her father's disapproving look; and she looked at Anna meaningfully, hoping Anna got the message. _Our conversation, Anna. Give me the paper, please._

Anna got the message, but a second too late. Anna tried to stealthily hand the paper to Elsa, but Anna's 'stealthy' wasn't very stealthy.

"Elsa, Anna…what is on that paper?" Agdar asked sternly.

There was no point in trying to get out of it now. They were caught red-handed. "A conversation," Elsa answered reluctantly.

"A _private_ conversation," Anna added. "So we want it back!"

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back. In her most polite voice, she said, "I would very much like to have that paper back, please."_ I knew I shouldn't have tried to 'talk' to Anna. Now we're both going to be in huge trouble._

"What were you two discussing that you don't want anyone to read?"

"Da-ad! It's just a private, sisterly, girl conversation! You wouldn't be interested," Anna said. "You know, like just…stuff." Anna took one glance at her sister and knew she'd have to be the one to get the paper back. _Elsa's scared and upset again. And she'll be embarrassed if Dad reads what she wrote on that paper._

"I would really like that paper back…unread," Elsa said quietly. "Or just give it to Anna." _Dad, please don't read it. It's stuff I don't want anyone but Anna to know._

Agdar looked from one girl to the other. He looked at the paper and managed to read the first few lines before Anna had lunged for the paper and crunched it into a ball in her fist.

Elsa sent Anna a thank-you glance before realizing that although their dad hadn't read _all_ of it; he'd definitely seen the first part. Which was about Elsa predicting the blizzard. Great. Just great. Not. _Well, as long as Anna hangs around, Dad won't start blaming me for it anyways, I guess._

"Anna, you said your sister didn't give you the idea that a blizzard was coming. Evidently she did. You lied."

"I said I hadn't seen Elsa in months," Anna replied instantly.

"You were being purposely misleading, Anna! And you, Elsa…why did you tell Anna that? You know you're not supposed to have any contact with her."

Elsa closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and saying, "I did what I had to do. Although evidently it did not matter, since you didn't believe Anna when she warned you." _I'm in so much trouble. I'm going to get blamed for this…I just know it._

"Anna, go to your room and stay there until further notice."

"Don't treat Anna the same way you treat me!" Elsa burst out. _Anna doesn't need to stay in her room too. _"She isn't…defective like I am. Let her be. I…initiated the conversation today. It's my fault, not hers."

"Elsa, no! I don't think either of us did anything wrong, but if we're going to put a 'fault' on it, it's both of us. Not just you. I wrote back to you, too," Anna said. "And stop calling yourself defective!" She reached to give Elsa a hug, but Elsa stepped backwards out of reach.

Elsa wished with all her heart that Anna would just _shut up_. Didn't she realize Elsa was trying to keep Anna from getting punished for nothing? But no; headstrong Anna wouldn't listen. _I'm trying to catch you some slack, Anna. I know I'm already going to be in huge trouble anyhow, so I may as well get you off the hook in the process. That way at least I'll know YOU'RE not in trouble…_

"Anna, go to your room. I need to talk to your sister alone for a few minutes. I'll come speak with you later."

Anna bit her lip. What should she do? She didn't want to leave Elsa, but she'd probably get both of them in even more trouble if she stayed. "Hang in there, Elsa…I love you," Anna said, and sent Elsa a virtual hug before heading down the hall to her room.

* * *

Elsa let herself give Anna a small smile back before purposely returning to an unreadable expression. _Dad's going to end up blaming me for the weather somehow…I just know it._ She headed to the opposite side of the room and purposely stood near the still-missing window. Elsa did not want to talk to her father, or even be around him. She knew the air was probably freezing by the window and no one would want to be next to it, so she stayed near it as a deterrent.

"Elsa, you predicted this blizzard days ago. How did you do that?"

_Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. I can't lose control now, or Dad will really think I did this to the weather…_ "I don't know, honestly. I just _felt_ it," Elsa replied.

"You mean you _felt_ it because you made the storm on purpose. Elsa, this is way out of season. You predicted the storm's occurrence days in advance. Doesn't that seem suspicious to you?"

_I knew it._ "That storm is not mine. It's natural. I don't know how I knew it was coming. I just did. I have no idea if I could cause a widespread storm anyway," Elsa said.

"So you admit that it's possible that you could make a widespread snowstorm?"

"_I don't know!_ But THIS storm is not mine. I think I'd know if I made that much…destruction or not. Think about this…why would I have warned Anna about the storm if I was going to do that on purpose?" Elsa asked.

"Well, I didn't expect you to admit it."

Elsa bit her tongue, wondering what to say. _Dad doesn't believe me. He's convinced I did it. Nothing I say is going to change his mind._

"Does your silence mean you admit to being guilty?"

"It does not. It means that I know nothing I say is going to convince you of the truth-that I didn't do it," Elsa said flatly.

"You broke the lock again."

"I did. Due to an invasion of privacy." Elsa forced her voice to remain detached and neutral. _I will not lose control. I won't._

"You admit you initiated a conversation with Anna?"

"I do. I do not, however, admit my actions were wrong," Elsa replied. _I feel like I'm in a courtroom, about to be sentenced 'guilty'. Whatever, I don't care…_

"What did you write on that paper that you didn't want anyone to read?"

"I do not wish to answer that question." _I am not telling Dad about the…private things I told Anna. I wrote Anna my genuine feelings. I don't want anyone else knowing what those feelings are._

"Did you tell Anna about your powers?"

"No, I did not."

"What was it about then?"

"No comment." Elsa's feeling that she was being interrogated in a courtroom made her want to play up that aspect of the situation. _I won't give Dad the satisfaction of getting me to answer anything in detail._

"Elsa, you need to answer."

"I did. No comment," she repeated.

"I guess I'll have to ask Anna then."

"I won't object." _Anna won't rat on me,_ Elsa thought. _She's probably burned that sheet of paper already, too._

"Elsa, what do you suggest I do about this breach of protocol?"

Elsa thought for a moment before replying, "I advocate that you do naught apropos this contravention of punctilio." _There. I think Dad was being a little snarky at me with that question. That should let him know I recognized it and didn't like it. Although that was probably a bit overboard on my part with the weird vocabulary…_

"Your response indicates you think fast on your feet."

"Much obliged." _Come on, Elsa, just a little longer. You just have to convince Dad to leave and everything will be fine._

"Are we finished with this little lexicon divertissement, Elsa?"

"Indications appear negative as I did not effectuate it initially." Elsa actually did not mind the vocabulary exchange; the longer it went on, she wouldn't have to answer questions she wanted no part of. _My vocabulary is one of the few things I know are good about me. I won't "lose" easily._

"You imply I commenced it?"

"The defense rests," Elsa answered, as if she were on the witness stand in court.

There was a long silence. Finally Elsa broke it by saying, "The discourse seems to have concluded. May I please have my room to myself again?" _Dad, please leave. I'm tired of this feeling that I'm about to say something wrong. I probably have…_

"Elsa, come with me downstairs."

Elsa immediately felt suspicious. "Why? You've never let me do that before."

"You're going to go outside and stop the storm."

Elsa was horrified but tried to keep from letting her face show it. _The storm isn't mine! I can't do that! _"I…can't do that. Even if it were my storm-which it isn't-I wouldn't know how."

"You haven't even tried, Elsa."

Elsa reluctantly followed her father out of her room, holding her head high and refusing to cry. _This is useless. IT'S NOT MY STORM! If I try to do something to it, I'm just going to make it worse…_

* * *

When they arrived at the main castle entrance, Elsa asked, "What am I supposed to do?! You know I can't unfreeze things. Especially things I didn't cause in the first place!"

"The reverse of whatever you did to make it."

"_But I didn't make it!_" Elsa cried. "I swear, it's NOT my storm!"

"Then how did you predict it?"

"I don't know." _What am I going to do?_

"Please get rid of the storm, Elsa. Any time would be nice."

Elsa gave up and reached for the door. _I don't know what I'm going to do once I open that door…_ Elsa's hand shook as she grabbed the door handle and yanked the door open. She frowned into the swirling white outside. It was impossible to see more than about a foot in front of her. "I can't do anything to dispel this! I _didn't make it_!" Ice began spreading under Elsa's feet. _Elsa, stop it. Conceal, don't feel. This isn't your fault._

"Would a trip downstairs convince you to fix it?"

Elsa frowned. "We are downst-" Then it hit her. _Dad's talking about the dungeon. _She felt like crying, but then she was angry a moment later. This storm was _not_ her fault. She had not made it, and even if she had, she knew she wouldn't be able to get rid of it anyway. "You're talking about the _dungeon_. You want to put your own kid down there for something that isn't even her fault." Elsa's voice had a slight bitter edge to it. "That. Storm. Is. Not. Mine."

"Is that your last word?"

"I am not going down there," Elsa answered firmly.

"You are till the storm is gone."

"I beg to differ." Elsa turned and ran back towards the staircase as fast as her legs would carry her. _You'll have to catch me first. I will not put up with that. Not for something I didn't even do._ She took the stairs two at a time, raced down the hall, and darted into her room. Not a moment too soon, she tore her gloves off and froze the door shut just as she heard a bang on the door. _Made it. I'm NEVER letting that door unfreeze again._

"Elsa, you froze the door shut."

Elsa didn't answer. She was horrified that her father would actually consider putting her down there. But mostly she was downright furious. _It wasn't even for something that was my fault! It's not fair! And I got in all this trouble because I tried to do the right thing and give a warning about the snowstorm. Not only did no one believe me, I got blamed for making the storm myself! Well, I'm not going to try to warn anyone about a storm ever again. They can just find out when it arrives for all I care._ Elsa began pacing back and forth, leaving icy footprints wherever she stepped. She was just so, so, _mad._ It wasn't fair! _Well, at least Anna got away with that paper with our conversation on it. I hope she destroyed it._

* * *

Elsa was very glad she had a stash of food and chocolate in her room. She wouldn't have to try sneaking into the kitchen for a few days. Hopefully the blizzard would have ended by then and she wouldn't have to worry about getting found in the kitchen. She worried for a minute that her parents might use the secret passages to get into her room, but then remembered that she knew the passages much better than they did. _I go in them all the time, so I can easily find my way around. If something like that did happen, I'll double back on paths and take a complicated route back in here. I'll be fine._ Elsa took a piece of chocolate and concentrated on the pleasant taste instead of the storm problem.

* * *

Down the hall in Anna's room, Anna was still wondering what she should do with the paper with Elsa's and her conversation on it. She knew she should just get rid of it, but she really, really didn't want to throw away one of the few things she had from Elsa. Anna locked her door so no one would catch her trying to find a good hiding place. _Let's see…not under my bed…not in the closet…ooh, how about in that little compartment in the dresser? That's perfect!_ Anna had discovered the secret drawer in her dresser when she was ten. Right now it contained nothing. In warmer months, there was often a temporary pet lizard or frog in it. But Anna would find some other place for her pets when she caught them. She wanted to keep that paper safe!

Anna smoothed out the paper and reread their conversation. _Elsa thinks she's a failure…what did she mean by 'I'm trying to keep you safe, but I keep messing up'? Messing up what? I don't get it… And she thinks she _doesn't deserve_ a friend? WHY? What is going on? I have to keep getting notes to her somehow. But we can't have a conversation again. Dad seemed to get more mad at her than me for that, even though we were equally to blame. Of course it didn't help that Elsa went and tried to take all the blame on purpose. Why would she do that?!_ "Wait…she did that because she thought she was going to get in big trouble anyway. So she just wanted to make sure that I didn't get punished for nothing too," Anna realized. Anna carefully slid out her bottom drawer all the way. Then she pulled the secret narrow drawer out from behind it and put the paper in it. In went the bottom drawer and the paper was hidden from sight. _There. Nobody'll find it in there._

Anna jumped when she heard a knock on her door. "Go away, whoever's out there. I'm busy!"

"Anna, open the door."

_Rats, it's Dad. _Anna gave a somewhat mouthy reply. "You _said_ I was supposed to go to my room till further notice."

"This is the further notice."

"Well, you already make one of your kids stay in her room all the time. So maybe I'll just stay in here too, since it's _so_ good for Elsa. I'm 'growing up and know my responsibilities'. Not," Anna replied. _Ok, that was probably a little too rude. I should stop…_

"Anna, if you don't open the door, then you won't get any chocolate for a month."

"I could always sneak down to the kitchen and get some." Anna really did not want to risk losing chocolate for a whole month, but she'd rather give up chocolate than give up Elsa's and her conversation paper. _Yeah, I did hide it, but I don't want to risk anyone finding it._

"What did you do with that paper you and your sister had?"

"She has a name, and it's _Elsa_! Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle!" Anna almost shouted. "And Dad, why are you so concerned about that paper? Anyway, I haven't got it." _Well, I don't "have" it…I'm not holding it…_

"You…don't have it. Ok, where is it and what did you do with it?"

Anna bit her lip. _That's it. I'm fibbing. _She crossed her fingers behind her back before saying, "I tore it up in little pieces and threw it in the fire so no one could read it."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, it's _destroyed_ into _ashes_ and you can't read it! So there!" Anna added for emphasis, feeling slightly bad for lying but not enough to not do it.

"Anna…you didn't destroy that paper. Open the door please."

Anna glanced toward her messy dresser and made sure everything was in place. Luckily there was already a fire going in her fireplace. Then she opened the door. "See? No paper!"

"Anna. Where is the paper?"

"I told you; I don't have it anymore!" Anna flopped on her bed and watched her father look around the room. _I think the paper is safe._

"No chocolate till you tell the truth about that paper."

"Fine." Anna did have a secret hoard of chocolate in her room. That would last her awhile.

**A/N: To make things clear, Elsa does NOT know about the 'special cell' exactly. (I'm so not having her find out about that.) I'll explain exactly what Elsa knows in the next chapter.:)**

**Yes, Elsa can predict storms. Picture how we can 'smell' rain except much stronger and more definite.**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	15. Elsa at Age Three

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**AnacToria Sky-Yay, new reviewer (I'm 99% sure;))! Thanks for the review!:) Elsa can't do that (yet) because I'm keeping this in canon.:)**

**Lindstrom-I'm thinking maybe he can't accept that someone else is right about something...And besides that, Agdar is really stupid and misinformed.:P**

**FanGirlJen-Agreed...:/**

**WarriorQueen 14-Elsa does need a hug, doesn't she...?:/ And yeah, Agdar totally deserves a slap:P**

**{Randomness: I think Elsa paid us a visit...IT SNOWED HERE LAST NIGHT! AND IT DIDN'T ALL TURN INTO ICE OVERNIGHT! YAY!:) And there's actually enough to play in...hey sis, do you wanna build a snowman?:P}**

**On to the story!:)**

The next day, Anna stuck a note under Elsa's door. Elsa ran to pick it up. "_Dear Elsa, I'm super sorry about what happened yesterday. I hid that paper with our conversation in it and I kinda may have told Dad I burned it. And he didn't believe me and said I couldn't have any chocolate till I told the truth. Grrr… I have a hoard of chocolate in my room though so it didn't really matter. Heehee. Love ('CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT), Anna."_ Elsa heard Anna making noises right outside her door, so she answered, "Tell me when you run out of chocolate. I'll get you more. I better not talk anymore right now. Bye, Anna."

"Elsa, you answered!"

_Yeah, I did. Because I'm stupid. Why did I say anything? Every time Anna and I try to have any sort of contact with each other, we get in trouble. And should I have _any _contact with her? Maybe it's for the best if I don't. I always end up getting upset and losing control or something…I don't know. Anyway, I can get Anna some chocolate easily enough. I'll just do that and nothing else._ Elsa's thoughts rambled.

Anna was going to say more, but she thought she heard footsteps down the hall, so she ran off. _I'm not getting us in trouble again if I can help it._

Elsa couldn't decide whether she was relieved or disappointed when she thought she heard Anna's footsteps run off. The howling wind outside muffled and distorted sounds outside Elsa's room that she could usually easily decipher otherwise. _Dumb storm. I wish it'd hurry up and end. I'm so tired of that noise. _Thinking about the storm reminded Elsa of her father thinking she had caused it on purpose, and trying to get her to dispel the storm. Elsa frowned. _Why was Dad so adamant that I had caused it? I _know_ I didn't. And the dungeon? Really? That's creepy, mean, and it's not fair._ Elsa had only been down to the dungeon once in her life; and although her three-year-old self hadn't been particularly creeped out by it all that much, she had been forbidden to go down there again. When Elsa had wanted to explore down there with Anna when she was six and Anna was three, they had gotten caught halfway down the stairs to the dungeon, and the little bit that Anna had seen had scared her. Since Elsa didn't want to scare Anna (who was usually rather fearless otherwise), they hadn't tried to sneak down there again.

* * *

THIRTEEN YEARS AGO…

Three-year-old Elsa knelt next to her baby sister's cradle. "Mommy! Anna's sooo cute! Can I hold her?"

"I don't think you're quite old enough to hold a baby, honey," Idun said.

Little Elsa stood up and put both hands on her hips, accidentally bumping the cradle in the process. "I'm a big girl!" She held up three fingers. "I'm three, 'member?"

Anna started crying in her cradle.

"Why's Anna crying?" Elsa asked.

"Probably because you bumped the cradle. Elsa, why don't you come back later?"

"Didn't mean to make Anna cry." Elsa's face puckered up as she herself started crying. "Mommy don' like me anymore?"

"Of course mommy still likes you. Mommy just has to take care of the baby right now," Idun said, gently rocking the cradle back and forth.

"Can I help? Maybe Anna like snowflakes," Elsa said, plopping down next to the cradle again. She held out her hand and made a snowflake; then flipped her hand over so her palm and the floating snowflake faced baby Anna. "Look, Mommy! Snowflake de-fy-ing gra-vi-ty," the little girl sounded out, pleased with her new trick. "Anna likes it too!" Elsa added happily, noticing that her baby sister had stopped crying and was staring at Elsa's snowflake instead.

"Let's not show that to Anna just yet, Elsa. Wait till she's older," Idun said, pushing Elsa's hand away from the cradle.

"Why?" Elsa asked. "Anna likes it! Ooh, d'you think Anna has magics like me?!" Elsa thought that would be _so_ cool! She and Anna could make awesome things together. Or play catch with floating snowflakes! Elsa hopped up from her spot next to the cradle, careful not to bump it again. "Me an' Anna could de-fy gra-vi-ty together!" She formed a snowflake in her other hand and flipped both palms toward the floor. "Mommy…? Watch this!" Elsa bit her lip in concentration as she tossed both snowflakes at the floor and caught them again, as if she were doing a yo-yo trick.

"Elsa…where did you hear the words 'defying gravity'?"

"Daddy tol' me. Gra-vi-ty keeps us stuck on the ground. De-fy is what I do when I'm bad an' don' listen." Elsa continued bouncing her snowflakes up and down. "Mommy…? Does Anna have magics like me?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Maybe they didn't show yet." Little Elsa dropped her snowflakes, ran over to her baby sister, and grabbed her hands. "Snow, Anna! Snow! Mommy, Anna's darker'n me. See?" Elsa compared her pale hand with Anna's slightly darker one. "And it didn't work," she pouted, referring to Anna's inability to make snow like Elsa did.

"Elsa, please stop. Run off and play with your dolls or something."

"Tired of that. Play with Anna?" Elsa asked hopefully. "I won' ask 'nymore ques-tions!"

"Honey, Anna is too little to play with you."

"Can I hold her? Pleeeaase?" Elsa begged. "I'm three. I'm big enough."

"Maybe when Anna is a little older. Be a good girl and run off and play."

"Okay, bye…" Elsa trudged slowly out of the room. _I know I could hold Anna if Mommy would let me!_ She'd be super careful. Maybe her mother just didn't want her showing her special ability to Anna because she didn't want Anna to catch cold. "Cold" never affected Elsa, though, so she had no idea what it felt like. Anyway, Elsa wasn't going to worry about that now. She was going to go exploring instead. When Elsa arrived at the top of the staircase, she decided it was going to take _much_ too long to get down to the bottom with her short three-year-old legs. So she made a sheet of ice just large enough to sit on before pushing off and thumping and bumping down the staircase.

Maybe this was not one of Elsa's better ideas. Halfway down the stairs, the edge of the ice sheet caught on a stair and dumped the little girl off. Elsa went rolling down the rest of the stairs, unable to stop. "HELP!" she shrieked, reaching for a railing every few seconds but failing. She finally came to a stop at the foot of the stairs, finding herself sprawled in a pile of snow. _I don't 'member making that,_ she thought. _Maybe my magics knew I needed help and it did it by itself!_ Elsa hopped to her feet and stuck her throbbing finger in her mouth; then jerked it out a moment later when something sharp poked her tongue. "I got an owie," Elsa said to no one in particular when she saw the splinter in her finger. "Won't come out!" she said in frustration when she couldn't get hold of the splinter to pull it out.

Elsa heard angry-sounding voices from somewhere downstairs. The 'owie' temporarily forgotten, she headed towards the voices, wanting to know what was going on. _Daddy's talking to somebody from 'nother kingdom in the Great Hall._ Elsa knew she wasn't supposed to bother her father when he was having a meeting, but she really, really wanted to know what was going on. She pushed the door to the Great Hall open and stepped inside.

"For the last time, _no_, Arendelle is not raising taxes on imports and exports from Weselton! Why would you, the duke, want to do that anyway?" Elsa heard her father say.

"I should think Arendelle would be most eager to do that, as your kingdom would gain more income," the Duke of Weselton replied.

Elsa immediately decided she did not like that man. She wasn't sure why; he just made her skin crawl. Elsa looked back at her father, wondering how he would reply. Neither adult had noticed her yet.

"Raising taxes is unnecessary at this time," Agdar said calmly.

"But it's beneficial to all parties involved!"

The real reason this strange man wanted her daddy to raise taxes suddenly hit Elsa. She had no idea what a lot of the words the two men exchanged meant, but she _did_ know what taxes were, and that you didn't want to raise them unless it was absolutely necessary because it made your kingdom's people mad. If her father said raising taxes was unnecessary, then it was. So the strange man was probably wanting the extra money for himself. "You mean it's just be-ne-fi-cial to you 'cause you wanna cheat an' keep extra money for yourself, Mr. Weaseltown," little Elsa announced loudly.

"Who said that?!" the duke asked angrily. "It's Weselton!" The duke caught sight of Elsa standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "King Agdar, is _that_ your daughter?" he said, pointing an accusing finger at Elsa.

Before Agdar could say a word, Elsa ran across the room to the throne dais, gave a slightly clumsy curtsy, and said, "Crown Princess Elsa of Aren-delle, sir."

Agdar squatted down to Elsa's height and said quietly, "Elsa, what are you doing here? You're interrupting an important meeting."

"I was wonderin' what all the noisy talking was." Elsa pointed at the duke and added, "Daddy, he's trying to cheat on moneys!"

"King Agdar, you aren't going to believe a toddler, are you? She doesn't know what she's talking about!"

"I'm not a toddler! I'm three!" Elsa retorted. "Daddy, will you fix my finger? I got a splinter."

Agdar shushed Elsa and quietly told her to leave the room and find Gerda instead before standing up and saying, "She may be three, but she does have a point. What other reason could you have for being so adamant toward raising taxes?"

"It would gain Arendelle more income! You have no proof that I am trying to 'cheat on moneys', as your daughter so eloquently suggested!" the duke replied. "I don't look forward to that little brat on the throne of Arendelle in the future," he added under his breath.

"Did you just call my daughter, the crown princess of Arendelle, a little brat?"

"No! No, of course not!"

The conversation faded away as Elsa headed farther away from the Great Hall. _That mean man called me a brat. He's the one trying to cheat and get extra money!_ _Not me! _She was sure her daddy would tell him off, so she skipped off in search of Gerda to fix her finger.

She finally found Gerda in the kitchen. "Gerda, I got a splinter. I can't get it out!" Elsa held up her finger. "I smell choc'late! Making cake?" she asked.

"Yes, princess. The cake is for _after_ dinner, not now. Let's take a look at that finger." Gerda picked up the little girl and set her down in a chair. "Now which finger is it?"

"This one." Elsa stuck out her tongue at the offending splinter.

"It isn't nice to stick out your tongue, princess," Gerda said as she looked at Elsa's finger.

"What if I don' care? Didn't do it at a person," Elsa said. "That hurt!" she added, trying to pull her hand away.

"Hold still, princess. It's almost out."

Elsa did her best to make her three-year-old self stay still. "Gerda…? C'n I show you somethin'?"

"How about when we have your finger all fixed?"

"Okay." Now Elsa had a _really_ good reason to stay still.

A few seconds later, the splinter was out, and Elsa stuck her sore finger in her mouth. "Thanks you, Gerda," she said.

"You're very welcome. Princess, don't put your finger in your mouth. Let's rinse it off instead, shall we?"

"All right." When Elsa stuck her hand under the stream of water in the faucet, she flipped her palm face-up toward the ceiling, and a fountain of water sprayed everywhere, leaving twinkling ice droplets on the ceiling. Elsa giggled. "Stars on the ceiling!" she announced proudly.

Gerda turned the water off. "Princess Elsa. Look at the kitchen! There's water everywhere! You know doing that with the water makes a mess."

Elsa's lower lip quivered and she started to cry. "I just wanted t' see if I could make stars on the ceiling…" She pointed at the twinkling ice droplets. "Sorry I made mess." Elsa glanced at the snowflakes falling around her. "Gerda, why's it snowing 'round me? Looks de-press-ing."

"Because you're upset, honey. Don't worry about the mess. Just don't make the water spray everywhere again. Where did you hear the word 'depressing'?"

"Mommy. Somethin' about not being able to fix me. I heared her talkin' to Daddy. But I don' _need_ fixing! Like Elsa way I am. Happy Elsa makes happy magics?" Elsa asked curiously, poking at the falling snowflakes. The snowflakes disappeared entirely as Elsa's mood changed.

Gerda knelt down to Elsa's height and gave the little girl a hug. "Yes, princess, happy Elsa makes happy 'magics'. You're right; you don't need fixing."

"Mommy said I did. Why'd she say that then?"

"I don't know, Princess Elsa. Don't worry yourself about it."

"Okay. C'n I go ex-plor-ing?" Elsa asked.

"Just be careful, princess."

"Mmkay!" Elsa ran out of the kitchen and headed toward the stairs that led downstairs to the dungeon. She had never been down there before, but she really, really wanted to know what was down there. Elsa climbed down the stone stairs and tiptoed past the guard at the bottom. _Made it!_ Glancing down the long hallway at the row of doors, she wondered which one to pick to open to look in. _One, two, three, four, five…five, four, three, two, one…I pick…that one!_ Elsa pushed the heavy door open and peeked inside. "Ah-choo!" she sneezed. It was very dusty and just a teeny bit creepy down here. Not creepy enough to make her run back upstairs, though! Elsa went into the cell and stood on her tiptoes, trying to see out the latticed window. _I'm too short. No fair._ There were two metal cup things lying on the floor attached to long chains. Elsa picked up one of the mysterious metal things and promptly dropped it a second later because it was too heavy for her small hands to hold. It clattered loudly on the stone floor. _Oops._ A moment later, Elsa found herself looking up at the guard who had been at the bottom of the stairs.

"Princess Elsa, what are you doing down here? Little girls such as yourself don't need to be down here in the dungeon."

"I'm just lookin'. What's the metal things?" Elsa pointed at the 'metal things' on the floor.

The guard wondered just what to tell to a three-year-old that would make sense but not scare her. Elsa liked learning new words, and would promptly start using them immediately thereafter. "They're shackles, princess. For locking up bad people. Now you run back upstairs and don't come down here again."

"I wanna look in th' other rooms first," Elsa announced. "Creepy an' int'resting down here." She headed out of the cell and started to push open the door to the one next to it.

"Let's not." The guard scooped up the little girl and carried her back up the steps to the main first floor of the castle.

"THAT'S NO FAIR! I CAN PULL RANK, Y'KNOW!" Elsa stamped her foot, and a thin sheen of ice began spreading under her feet.

The guard rubbed his eyes in surprise. "Is that-is that _ice_? And where did you hear the term 'pull rank'?"

_Oops. Daddy and Mommy told me not to show anybody my magics 'cept Kai and Gerda._ Elsa calmed down; the ice disappeared; and she said, "What ice? An' I heard pull rank from Daddy. I'm third in au-thor-ty in Aren-delle. Daddy, Mommy, then me," she counted on her fingers. "Why's people keep askin' where I hear words?"

"Princess, you use words kids your age don't normally use, that's all."

Elsa thought that over for a minute. "Does that mean I'm not normal? An' if I'm not…is normal somethin' I wanna be?"

The guard sighed. Why did _he_ have to be the one trying to explain what exactly 'normal' means to the three-year-old crown princess? "It just means you sometimes talk like a child older than you are."

"Oh. Okay." Elsa turned and walked away, trying to do her best mature and grown-up walk. Then as soon as she reached the main staircase, she dropped that and scrambled up the stairs as fast as she could go. "Mommy! Mommy! Guess what I saw down-stairs?! I was gonna tell Daddy too, but he's busy with a cheater man in th' Great Hall!"

* * *

BACK IN THE PRESENT…

Elsa paced back and forth in her room, thinking. _When I was three, I didn't know any better. I purposely went down to the dungeon to explore. What a dumb little kid I must have been. I got forbidden to go down there because it 'wasn't a place for a young girl' to be. Now Dad actually wanted to put me down there. _She shuddered, remembering those metal shackles she'd seen so long ago. _All because of a storm I didn't make…because I predicted its occurrence. Then again, I don't think Mom and Dad ever really 'approved' of me, even when I was little. Even then, I wasn't allowed to use my powers outside the castle. It just didn't matter to me all that much because I could easily control it then. And because I was naïve and didn't know any better. _"Of course, I'm not that same little girl anymore…I wasn't out of control then. What made me unable to control my powers anymore?" she wondered aloud. _My powers weren't nearly as strong then, either…_

_You hurt Anna. That's what did it. _"But I'm still me! I should have been able to fix everything afterwards!" Elsa said. _You hit your sister in the head. You freaked yourself out and almost killed Anna. You lost your naïveté. That's what happened._ "Why can't I remember how I controlled it when I was little? _Why?!_"

**A/N: So...technically Elsa _has_ seen the 'special cell', but she thinks it's just a regular one since she never saw any of the others.**

**Sorry if little Elsa talks too well for a three-year-old.:P One of my "headcanons" is that Elsa has this super awesome vocabulary, although she doesn't use it all the time. (Hence her 'I advocate you do naught apropos this contravention of punctilio' remark in the last chapter...) So I thought little Elsa would like learning new words.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	16. Thinking and Nightmares

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Thanks for the review, sis;) Yeah, little Elsa did tell "Mr. Weaseltown" off, didn't she?**

**Lindstrom-Um, maybe Elsa's super smart? I dunno.:P I guess maybe she was a little young to figure that out...I hope it wasn't too annoying.:) **

**FanGirlJen-Thank you!:)**

**fattensaad-Thank you! I'm glad you gave my story a try and like it.:) *jumps about like a crazy person* Thanks for the compliment:)**

**On to the story!:)**

The blizzard ended two days later. Elsa was very glad she did not have to listen to the noisy wind howling anymore. _At least I can hear the usual castle noises clearly again._

The one thing she was _not_ looking forward to one bit was her parents knocking on her door again. They had left her alone for the duration of the storm. _Probably because they're scared of me… _Elsa knew that they probably still blamed her for the storm, and that they were more than a little angry with her for "escaping" into her room after the whole dungeon thing. _Well, _I'm_ mad at Dad for suggesting that_, Elsa thought._ It was Not. My. Fault. Anyway, I am not going to worry about it. There are lots of things that are my fault, but that isn't one of them. I know it isn't._

Sure enough, that afternoon, Elsa heard a knock on her door. "The door is frozen shut," she responded flatly.

"Now what if it were Anna out here?" Agdar asked.

"I can recognize Anna's knock, and that wasn't it." _I'm not stupid,_ Elsa thought. _Did you forget you technically forbid Anna to do that?_

"Do we have to take the door off again like last Christmas?"

_Good luck doing that. I purposely stuck the entire door to the ice, and made sure the ice was all over the doorframe too._ Elsa crossed her arms even though no one could see her, and said nothing.

"Good job finally ending the storm."

Elsa rolled her eyes in disgust. _Don't they realize I still have absolutely no idea whatsoever how to unfreeze things? Even if that storm had been mine, I wouldn't have been able to end it. _"I didn't end it. It ended by itself. Because it was _natural_."

"Elsa, we're not starting this again, are we?"

Elsa felt like screaming. _This is so not fair! Emotions on lockdown. Conceal don't feel._ Not wanting to hear anything more, she decided to just disappear into the secret passages. _They can just continue talking to an empty room and think I'm being a brat and ignoring them; I don't care._ Elsa slipped inside the secret entrance as silently as possible and headed for the exit into the forest. She knew the snow was probably deep enough to seal off the exit, but that was okay. After all, she wasn't going to go outside. _I just want to build a snowman inside the passage. It'll be fine._ She'd just pull some snow inside the passage and build her snowman in there.

* * *

When Elsa arrived at the secret exit into the forest, she slid the hidden door up. Sure enough, the snow was piled almost to the top of the 'doorframe'. Only a narrow sliver of light shone in from outside. Elsa began pulling snow into the passage to build her snowman. _His name is Olaf. Just like the ones Anna and I made when we were little. And the one we made last Christmas Eve. I wish Anna could be here with me. I miss her._

_ "Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!"_ she made the snowman say in her thoughts._ Me too. Except I…can't have any. Ever. It's not safe and I don't deserve any. Not after what I did to Anna when we were little. I wish I could tell Anna what's wrong with me…but I can't. What if it messed up her memories? Or I hurt her again? Or Anna got scared of me or hated me for what I did? _Elsa remembered when she had been ill the summer before and she and Anna had had time together safely, without Elsa having to worry about controlling her powers. _Anna comforted me when I had that bad dream about the accident and she didn't even know what was wrong. She didn't even have to say anything. She didn't make me talk about it…she just hugged me and let me cry._ "I want Anna back!" she wailed. Elsa crawled into the hole in the snow where she'd pulled snow out to make her Olaf and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to calm down. _I can't expect Anna to listen to and understand me and my weird problems. That's just plain selfish and unreasonable on my part. I need to deal with it myself. I told Anna "life isn't fair" last summer and she said "what kind of cryptic response is that?!" That wasn't just a cryptic response. It was CR-wait, oh my goodness, I did _not_ just think a bad word…did I?_

_ Yes, you most certainly did, Elsa. Got any other brilliant questions? Where did you hear the c-p word anyway? Oh, shut up,_ Elsa told her thoughts. _I heard it out in the marketplace when I was little, then got in trouble for saying it afterwards. I remember Anna copied me and said it too, and then when we found out the _other _meaning of the word when we asked why we shouldn't say it, she was like 'That's icky, Elsa!' and she practically fell over laughing. I wonder if Anna has gotten in trouble for saying a bad word since then. I wonder if she still likes finding toads and lizards outside and holding them. Of course, she always INSISTED adamantly that they were frogs, not toads, no matter what I said... _"They's the same thing!" Elsa remembered a three- and four-year-old Anna saying. _And no matter how much she liked her toads and lizards, she absolutely hated snakes. I remember finding a little garter snake in the castle gardens once and chasing Anna around with it. Anna squealed her head off about that. Mom and Dad didn't like snakes either…they thought I was weird for liking them. And I, on the other hand, didn't like ants. But I had a good reason after Anna and I accidentally disrupted an anthill with fire ants in it. Well, not _exactly_ accidentally…we poked at it on purpose, but we didn't know there were fire ants in it. _Elsa shuddered, remembering how both she and Anna had gotten bites-or were they stings? Elsa couldn't remember which-all over their feet and legs. Elsa hated all kinds of ants with a passion after that, including the little harmless black ones; while Anna didn't seem to have learned her lesson and continued poking anthills when they went outside to play. _But I'd rather have that happen all over again and again than have this actual rotten reality. _

"I just want Anna," she whispered. "I'd give anything to-to-to…" Elsa voice broke as she buried her face in her hands and cried. _I'd voluntarily stay locked in the dungeon if I could have Anna back. Or even just _talk_ to her without getting in trouble. Of course, this whole line of thought is senseless…it's my fault I can't spend time with Anna. It's my powers' fault. Because I can't control it. Because I almost killed her when I was eight. I wish I were just normal. _Elsa's troubled mind finally caught up with exactly what she was doing. There was snow falling around her, beginning to fill in the hole in the snow she was sitting in. "Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel," she muttered. _Useless. Totally useless. _"Was that regarding 'conceal don't feel' or just me?" Elsa wondered aloud. _You. You cause trouble. You can't even control yourself. You're never going to be normal, so you'd better face the facts. _

"What exactly is 'normal'? Who defines it?" Elsa asked herself. _Adults? Whoever happens to be in charge? Society norms? I think it's mostly society norms…but why are 'society norms' what they are? What if 'society norms' are wrong? I know I certainly don't want _me_ to be the gauge for what "normal" is, but why should society dictate what normal is? Maybe that "normal" isn't what some people want, either. Like when Anna and I were little and we did things like hanging upside down in a tree, which was "improper" and therefore not "normal". _"Is normal even really something I want to be?" Elsa asked. _You just want to be normal in the sense that you want to get rid of your powers and be like every other person on the planet, that's all. And mostly so you can simply be around Anna safely. Stop overthinking things, Elsa._

_ Well, when I become queen when I'm a grownup, I am going to make sure Anna doesn't have to conform to society's idea of normal if it's not _her._ If 'just plain Anna' fits "normal", then fine, that's great; but I am NOT making her be anything but herself_, Elsa thought. _I'm still worried about the idea of me being queen. What if I messed up and lost control and revealed my…problem to a visiting ambassador or dignitary? I'd ruin alliances, trade…I'd ruin Arendelle._

Elsa dug the hole in the snow a bit deeper, and curled up in a ball, wishing Anna was there with her. _I wish lots of impossible things…_

* * *

Elsa stayed curled up in the snow for a long time. She knew it had to be dinnertime by now, but she just wasn't hungry. And there was nothing for her in that room back upstairs. Nothing that she hadn't seen quite enough of for years. Nothing that wasn't just going to make her feel more despondent and depressed than she already was. She was in no hurry to go back in there. _Maybe I'll just stay here until all the snow melts. It's not like anyone would miss me. Good grief, _I _sure wouldn't miss me…_ Elsa drew snowflake patterns in the snow 'ceiling' overhead; then rubbed them away when she realized just what exactly she was drawing. _My signature snowflake pattern. That's what I drew. Why did I do that? I thought I decided I didn't even want to see it anymore. _"I do have to get Anna chocolate. I told her I would," Elsa said aloud. _She said she has a secret stash, though, so I can still stay here awhile. I don't want to go back in my room._

Elsa fell asleep there in the snow that night. The accident from when she and Anna were little invaded her dreams and replayed over and over until Elsa woke up shaking in terror and crying. _Why do I keep dreaming about that? It makes me feel sick. And WHY did I have to miss and hit Anna?! WHY?! What did I do to deserve all this…mess? Anna and I were just two little girls playing together. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I didn't do it on purpose! _Elsa glanced over at her snowman sitting just inside the passage and felt completely heartbroken and angry. _I can't look at you anymore, Olaf. You're making me think of Anna, and thinking of Anna makes me feel…shattered inside. _She scrambled out of the snow 'cave' and dismantled the snowman. Then she felt bad for breaking her snowman and just crawled back into the hole and sobbed, ignoring the ice spreading over the passage's walls. _I want Anna back. I want to fix things, and I CAN'T! I don't know how._

_ Quit thinking about Anna, Elsa. You're just making things worse for yourself. _"I know, but I can't help it! What's the point of _living _if I'm just isolated from everything and everyone forever?! It's pointless; useless! _I want Anna back! _I want my powers to go away and get myself fixed! I want to be able to just be _me_!" _Impossible, Elsa. And you want to know the 'point of living'? You're heir to Arendelle's throne. And you can't dump your future responsibilities on Anna. Surely things will be better someday…right? _"I hope so anyways," Elsa whispered.

* * *

By the next afternoon (or what Elsa judged to be the next afternoon), Elsa still didn't feel particularly hungry, but figured she should probably go eat something anyway. And the snow cave was starting to collapse because it was starting to melt. So Elsa slowly headed back to her room. Everything was exactly as she had left it. Elsa grabbed an apple from her stash of food and went to look at her drawings of her dream-building, which were still fastened to the wall. _The ice-fasteners are still intact. The dream-building is just as nice as it was when I first thought of it. There's _something_ good that doesn't have to change._

* * *

Late that night, Elsa was awoken by a certain rhythmic knock on her door. Rather than feeling annoyed at being woken up, Elsa was more curious as to why Anna would be knocking at this time of night. Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on her nightstand and accidentally knocked a book on the floor.

"E-Elsa? I know you're awake-I just heard you drop something in there. I c-c-can't sleep…I dreamed something awful happened t-to you. You fell off the roof instead of m-me last Christmas Eve and…and…and I couldn't catch you and…" Anna's voice trailed off.

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. _I know _exactly _what nightmares like that are like. They're horrible. I can't make Anna deal with that on her own._ Elsa tiptoed over to the door. "Think…happy thoughts before you…fall asleep, Anna. It…helps. Usually."

Anna had been _hoping_ Elsa would reply, but she hadn't actually _expected_ her to. "Could…c-could you let me in, just for a minute? I promise I won't touch you or get close to you. I just want to, like, actually see you, so I know you're ok…"

"Anna, I…I…I can't…" Elsa answered sadly. _That ice barrier is still on the door and it's not safe for me to let her in._ "What if I…sing instead?" _I shouldn't do that…I can't just leave Anna out there upset about a bad dream though. Bad dreams are horrible and make it hard to sleep the rest of the night._

"A lullaby?" Anna sat down outside Elsa's door and curled up under the blanket she'd brought with her.

"Yeah…" Elsa said softly. She began singing,

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_ You make me happy when skies are gray_

_ You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_ Please don't take my sunshine away…"_ Elsa's sweet, slightly wistful voice floated out into the hallway to Anna.

"You sing pretty," Anna said sleepily. "Do it again…" Anna suddenly realized just what lyrics her sister was singing as Elsa started her song over again. _What is she singing such a depressing song for?! I mean, it sounds really pretty, but…Elsa, what's happened to you? The eight-year-old Elsa I remember tickled me and told jokes or something when I had a bad dream. Not sing something like that. _Anna had a sick feeling that those lyrics were only too literal in their meaning to her sister's mind. _Oh, Elsa. I'll never take your sunshine away. I don't know why you're thinking _I'm_ your 'only sunshine', but I won't abandon you. Ever. I…love…you…Elsa._

Elsa paused in her singing, trying to hear what Anna was doing. She pressed her ear to the ice barrier on the door. _I think Anna's either asleep out there or gone back to her room._ Elsa sat down with her back leaning against the door; then almost jumped out of her skin when she heard someone say her name. _It's Anna. She's still out there._ "Thank you for coming," Elsa whispered.

"Nah…methankou," Elsa heard Anna mumble.

Elsa gave a happy sigh and curled up against the door herself. _I actually got Anna relaxed enough to go back to sleep. I did something good. I'm not useless._

Both girls slept pressed against the door the rest of the night, each comforted by the fact the other was just on the other side of the door.

It was better than nothing.

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	17. Charades

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**FanGirlJen-Well, I promise everything will get happier eventually:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-I liked that part too...:P Gives Elsa a chance to do something for Anna instead of the other way around.:) Is it rotten that I can't wait till when their parents die?:P Lol;)**

**Lindstrom-I think Elsa needs a hug...:/ I figured Elsa wouldn't mind being close to Anna with the door separating them.:P**

**friend-Thanks for the review!:) I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Why, yes, as a matter of fact Elsa and Anna ARE going to meet directly in this chapter...which is funny, because I hadn't seen your review when I wrote it.;) Not in Elsa's room, though.:P**

**On to the story!:)**

Very early the next morning, Elsa went down to the kitchen through the secret passages and picked up two boxes of chocolate-one for herself and one for Anna, and some leftover pancakes she found wrapped up on the counter. _Let's see…I know Anna is still sleeping right outside my door because I heard her snoring just now. I'll go in Anna's room via the secret passages and leave the box of chocolate under her pillow. She'll know I did it, so she won't question where it's from. _Elsa stopped in her own room on the way to Anna's and quickly wrote a note that simply said 'Make it last' and a smiley face. She stuck it inside Anna's box of chocolate and headed to Anna's room. Elsa listened for any noises coming from inside Anna's room, but there was dead silence. _Good. No one's in there._ Elsa opened the secret entrance, darted into Anna's room, left the chocolates under Anna's pillow, and scrambled back inside the secret entrance. _Made it. Now Anna will find them later this morning. And good grief, Anna's room is so _messy_!_ _How can she find anything in there?!_ Elsa thought her sister's room looked like a tornado had just come through. Clothes, shoes, books, and whatever else Anna owned _everywhere_! All over the floor!

_Of course, Anna doesn't have to worry about freezing her room, so she can afford to have it messy, _Elsa thought as she headed back to her room. One of the main reasons Elsa kept her room perfectly neat with everything put away was so that she wouldn't lose or outright ruin her possessions when she lost control. Elsa remembered one time back when she was eight shortly after the accident-she'd left a few things out where they didn't belong overnight; and after a bad dream had made her lose control, two books and a dress were completely ruined. _And then Mom and Dad wouldn't replace them…because it was my fault that I left them out and subsequently ruined them. _So after that, Elsa made sure that _everything_ was put away, so the absolute worst thing that happened was that there was snow or ice all over the floor. _Except when I was eight, I didn't make a mess all over the floor…it was just part of the floor…_

Elsa sat down in the window seat and ate her pancakes. It was earlier than she woke up usually, but Elsa didn't feel like going back to sleep. She missed Anna; she wanted to _see_ Anna; she wanted to _talk_ to Anna; but most of all, she just wanted to give Anna a hug. _Well, I certainly can't give her a hug. That's completely out of the question since it's not safe. But maybe, just maybe…_ On impulse, Elsa headed into the secret passages again…and found herself going back to Anna's room. _Elsa! Bad girl! You can't do this! You just turn around and march back to your room where you belong. _Elsa paused for a moment, thinking. _Nope. I'm going to Anna's room. I'm going to talk to her, not touch her or get anywhere near her. And I'll go back to my room right after._

Elsa sat down on the floor behind where the door would open so that if someone besides Anna came in, she could easily slip into the hall and not be seen. _There's that entrance into the passages at the top of the staircase at the end of the hall…I'd just have to get to it and slip inside._ Pleased that she had an escape route should something go awry, Elsa smiled and waited for Anna to come back. If she was lucky, Anna should be coming any minute now. Gerda would find Anna sleeping outside Elsa's room and take Anna back to her own room.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Anna walked sleepily into her room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Elsa heard Gerda tell Anna that she should get ready for breakfast soon. Then the door shut again and Elsa hopped to her feet. "Anna?" she asked hesitantly. "Please don't be mad at me for sneaking into your room without permission, but-"

"AAH!" Anna screamed.

"AAH!" Elsa screamed in surprise at Anna's scream.

"What happened?!" they asked each other at the same time. Then, "Sorry, you first."

Both girls started giggling uncontrollably. Finally, Elsa managed to say, "Anna, I know I'm not supposed to be here…I just…I just…wanted to talk to you…" Elsa looked down at the floor and clasped her hands together.

"Am I still dreaming or is my sister, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle standing in my room?" Anna asked, sounding a bit puzzled.

"I'm really here," Elsa replied with a small smile.

"So wait, how did you…I mean what the…how in the world did you get in here without waking me up?! I was sleeping right up against your door!" Anna exclaimed. "Don't get me wrong-I'm not mad. Just surprised," she assured her sister.

"Teleportation," Elsa responded in a silly voice. "Just kidding!"

Anna laughed and ran to lock the door, just in case. "I'll believe that story when I see it! Anyways…what made you come to my room now all of a sudden? Oh yeah, and I want to know why you were singing such a depressing song last night! Where in the world did that come from?"

Elsa's smile disappeared. "My head, Anna," she whispered. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal don't feel…I am NOT losing control in front of Anna._

"Elsa…is what that song said really true? Those lyrics…" Anna knew she should just change the subject, but she _had_ to know.

Elsa hesitantly nodded as her eyes filled with tears. _Yes, Anna. They are. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel… _She didn't trust herself to say anything aloud without completely losing it.

Anna longed to give her sister a comforting hug, but she was sure that any actions like that on her part would just chase Elsa away again entirely. _Elsa's lonely. She may not admit it, but she is. She wouldn't have risked getting in trouble all over again by coming here otherwise. _"Elsa, I don't know why you're feeling like that, but I'm telling you for now and forever; I will _never_ abandon you. Ever. Even if things around here never change and you stay in that room forever, I will _never_ 'take your sunshine away'. I'll be right here for you. Always." Anna sounded resolute and determined. _And I mean it. I'm never, ever abandoning her. Elsa needs someone to be there for her even if she's convinced she's better off alone._

Elsa just stared at Anna, her blue eyes filled with unshed tears. "Why d-do you still c-care about me?" _She should hate me for the way I ignore her all the time. I'd be devastated if she did, but I wouldn't blame her one bit._

"Because you're my sister, Elsa, and sisters should always have each others' backs," Anna answered instantly.

"But I don't have yours…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"Then I'll just have to count for both of us until you can," Anna retorted. "I have no idea what's happened to you, but my gut tells me it's not entirely you that's making you act this way. Therefore I will have to fix that, huh?" Anna gave Elsa a lopsided smile.

"You can't fix it," Elsa mumbled. "It's just me. Stupid, abnormal, defective me." Elsa glanced down at her gloved hands in disgust.

"Quit calling yourself all those nasty names, Elsa. You know what? Let's talk about something else. Or play a game," Anna suggested. "Ooh, I know! How about charades? You don't have to get anywhere near me to play that!" Anna shoved all the things she had all over the floor against the walls and under the bed so there was a large space in the center of her room.

"Okay!" Elsa's unhappy countenance brightened. "You go first!"

Anna thought for a moment before stretching her arms straight in front of her and clapping them open and shut.

"Alligator," Elsa replied instantly.

Anna made a face. "You guessed too fast!"

"Well, that was a really easy one. Don't forget, it doesn't have to be an animal," Elsa said. She paused, thinking of what she wanted to do, before walking to the middle of the empty space and bending backwards into a bridge.

Anna was puzzled-and surprised. "You can still do that?" Anna remembered Elsa doing that when they were little and then cracking up laughing when Anna's arms wouldn't hold her up when she tried to copy the move. "Elsa…come on, what are you supposed to be? Aren't you going to do anything else?"

Elsa giggled and almost tipped herself off balance. "It's really, really obvious if you think about it…"

"Acrobat?"

"What? No!"

"Ok, um…gymnast?"

"Nope."

"A really weird bendy snake?"

Now Elsa literally fell over laughing before standing up and dropping back into the bridge position. "No, Anna. Come on; what's the move called?"

"A bridge…hey, Elsa, that's no fair!" Anna complained when she realized the answer. "And wait a second…you're sixteen…how are you doing that if you're wearing a corset?"

"Sure it is! I was being a literal bridge." Elsa stood up from her bridge without dropping down on her back first, which irritated Anna a little, because she _still_ couldn't do that. Last time she'd tried that, she had actually ended up falling over and having a sore head for two days. Oops. "Your turn now," Elsa announced. "Also…don't tell anyone, but I'm _not_ wearing a corset. They're uncomfortable and itchy…yeah, thanks but no thanks." Elsa shook her head firmly. _It's not like anyone's going to see me and find out anyway…Well, Anna didn't know, so it's probably not noticeable anyhow. And neither our parents nor Gerda have ever questioned me about it, so I'm probably safe._

Anna giggled. "I think I'll do the same when Mom decides that I'm old enough for one. I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me." (This comment earned her a smile from Elsa.) Anna took her spot in the empty space and proceeded to stand tall and walk _very_ slowly and regally with her hands clasped in front of her.

"A bride?" Elsa guessed.

"Uh-uh."

Elsa sighed. "Me? I do that dumb clasping hands thing all the time…"

"You're close…"

"Is it me doing something specific?"

"Yeah. You doing something specific in the future." Anna gave a hint.

"Anna, I don't want to guess anything about me. Just go ahead and tell me. You can go again if you want," Elsa said.

"It's you at your coronation to be queen of Arendelle!" Anna announced.

"Terrific," Elsa replied dully. She jumped as both she and Anna heard a sharp knock on the door. _Oh, no…_

"Anna, why haven't you come down to breakfast yet? And who are you talking to in there?" they heard their father say.

Elsa's face went white. _I'm going to be in so much trouble if Dad finds out I'm in here._

But Anna had a quick explanation. "Sorry, lost track of time…I'm playing a charade impersonating game, that's all. So I might have kinda sorta been talking out loud to nobody."

Elsa frowned at Anna's lie, and Anna held up her crossed fingers. _Anna, that's the oldest thing to get away with lying ever…but I'd rather go along with that than get discovered in here. Besides, we _are_ playing a charade impersonating game…_

"Well, please hurry up, Anna. Stop your game and come down. Breakfast is served now."

Struck by an idea, Elsa grinned and motioned for Anna to stay quiet. _Dad completely believed Anna…I bet I can make Anna's excuse even more convincing… _Then, in a voice that sounded mostly like herself but a bit like Anna, she said, "Listen to this! See, this is my Elsa impersonation! Is it convincing? 'Go away, Anna.'" Elsa paused for a second and then said in a deep voice that sounded somewhat like her father's, "And this is me copying you. 'Hurry up, Anna. Stop your game and come downstairs.'"

Anna stood behind Elsa, silently laughing so hard tears rolled down her cheeks as she clutched her sides. _Elsa should be a comedienne. She's a riot! THAT'S the Elsa I remember._

"All right, Anna, game time over. Come down as soon as you're ready."

Elsa changed her voice so it sounded like Anna's, "Yeah, sure, Dad. Just gotta braid my hair and I'm coming. 'Kay?"

* * *

The girls heard their father's footsteps fade away down the hall. Elsa cracked up laughing when she saw what Anna was doing. "Was I really that funny?"

"Yeah…you were!" Anna gasped out. "Where'd you learn…how to do…impersonations like that? I remember you did impersonations when we were little, but they weren't _that_ good then. You even made your…impersonation of yourself sound…just a teeny bit like me!" Anna literally collapsed on the floor laughing. "And how on earth…did you manage to…keep from bursting out laughing?!"

"Anna, pull yourself together! You have to braid your hair and get downstairs to breakfast like I claimed you were," Elsa said, still giggling. _That was fun. I haven't felt this happy in forever._ "I'm being serious now, Anna…I don't think I can get over here again…I'm not safe to be around most of the time…" she trailed off. _Any of the time…I shouldn't have come here. It was risky and selfish on my part. But nothing happened though…Elsa, quit trying to find loopholes. You were wrong to come here. You don't belong here. You risked Anna's safety to let yourself be happy for a little while. That was dumb._

Anna looked at her sister as they both stopped laughing. "It's all right, Elsa. I can't tell you that I understand, because I don't. But I'm not mad at you. And I won't be mad even if you never come back in here again. I've missed you and I've really, really enjoyed being with you," she said sincerely. "Remember…I'm always here for you. _Always._"

"Thank you, Anna…for everything," Elsa replied quietly, willing Anna to understand everything she couldn't put into words. That Anna didn't try to make her explain her odd, inconsistent behavior. That Anna still cared about her. That Anna didn't push the issue about explaining how Elsa had gotten to Anna's room. That Anna didn't start asking her about the gloves again. That Anna was willing to play a game with her even though they both knew it was a one-time thing. _And a million other things,_ Elsa thought.

Anna quickly brushed her hair and braided into her usual pigtail braids. "Elsa, you are very, very welcome. I wish I could do more for you…to make you happy."

"You _do_ make me happy, Anna. Truly." _You're the _only_ reason I'm ever happy_, Elsa thought.

Anna smiled at Elsa and started to head out of her room to go downstairs. She paused in the doorway and turned back to face Elsa. "You want me to walk back to your room with you?"

Elsa gave her sister a small smile and shook her head. "I better go back alone. Go on down to breakfast. Don't bother with me anymore."

"Elsa, you are _not_ a bother," Anna scolded, frowning. _Elsa thinks she's not worth spending time with…like she's just something you can't wait to get rid of. What have Mom and Dad said to her that's made her think of herself like that?_ Now Anna felt mad, but she knew she had better go downstairs before someone came to see what was taking her so long."I guess I'd better go downstairs before Dad gets suspicious…"

Elsa nodded. "Okay. Bye, Anna." _I love you, Anna. Thank you for everything._

Anna sent Elsa a virtual hug, and reluctantly headed down the hall.

Elsa waited until she heard Anna's footsteps going down the stairs. Then she opened the secret entrance in her sister's room, closed it behind her, and headed back to her own room. _What an awesome morning. Even if it was just a one-time thing, since I can't do this again. I love you, Anna._

* * *

Downstairs at breakfast, Anna couldn't keep from giggling every time she thought of Elsa doing her spot-on impersonations.

"What is so funny, Anna?" Idun asked.

"Nothing."

"You wouldn't be laughing at nothing."

Now Anna laughed harder because she had just thought of something she found terribly amusing. "Mom, Dad…you can't laugh at nothing because if you're laughing at nothing it becomes something because nothing can be something but something can't be nothing…Wait, what?! That made a _lot_ more sense in my head. Never mind."

"I don't remember you being able to do impersonations like that before. I've been thinking…the one who used to do impersonations like that was your sister. You wouldn't have happened to have had Elsa in your room this morning, would you?" Agdar asked.

Anna forced herself to keep laughing, trying to keep from giving herself and Elsa away. _Oh, no…I can't let Dad find out. _Elsa_ will end up being the one in trouble, not me._ "Why would you think I had Elsa in my room? _You_ never let Elsa out of her own room."

"And I could have sworn I heard your sister singing something late last night, although I couldn't tell what it was…"

Anna frowned. "If you heard Elsa's singing late last night, why didn't you come check to see what we were-" Anna's eyes went wide when she realized she had just accidentally given herself and Elsa away. _Oh no. Me and my big mouth. Dad, _please_ don't get mad at Elsa. She didn't do anything wrong._

"You and your sister were together this morning and last night. I thought it was crystal clear that you two cannot spend time together. It isn't safe for you to be around her."

"DAD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Anna shouted. Now that she knew there was no way to fix the damage her hasty words had caused, she decided to go ahead and say what she wanted to say. "Ok, Elsa _was_ in my room this morning. And you know what? We played a game together and NOTHING HAPPENED! You act like Elsa has a contagious disease or something. She doesn't! I _know_ she doesn't! And you know what else? That girl-my sweet, friendly, sister, Elsa-thinks she's not worth spending time with! _She asked me why I still care about her!_ Elsa is hurting on the inside, and it's _your_ fault! You guys are mistreating her. I just hope you just don't know it, because if you're knowingly making Elsa feel like that; it's wrong and horrible. I think you should apologize to her by making a few changes around here." Anna leaned back in her seat as she finished her little speech.

"Anna, you have to understand…it is _not_ safe for you two to be together. Surely you have to be exaggerating significantly about your sister's feelings about everything."

"I'm not," Anna said firmly. _I think Elsa's way of hiding her true feelings from Mom and Dad is working against her. She probably _doesn't_ seem hurt on the inside whenever she's around them. So Mom and Dad genuinely have no idea how she feels…_

"Then you probably misunderstood her."

"No. I didn't. I think maybe…" Anna paused as she tried to think what to say without saying 'Elsa hides her feelings from you because she doesn't trust you'. "Maybe you should pay super duper close attention to the way Elsa acts when you see her."

"This topic is closed to further discussion."

"I'm going upstairs then," Anna announced, and left the dining hall without waiting to be excused.

* * *

When Elsa opened the note Anna had pushed under her door explaining how she had accidentally told on them, she felt sick to her stomach. _Great. Anna, WHY couldn't you have kept yourself from laughing? And why was I dumb enough not to remember that I did like doing impersonations when I was little? That was so _stupid_. Now both of us are going to be in trouble, but I know I'm the one that Dad's going to be angry with mostly. Which is understandable, since I was the one who left her room when she wasn't supposed to, but…_ She knew Anna hadn't told on the two of them on purpose, but the facts remained that Anna had told, and that Elsa was going to be the one to get in the worst trouble. Elsa sighed. _I'm going to end up in the dungeon. Or I'll lose the entrance in my room to the secret passages and it'll get sealed off. _"I _knew_ I shouldn't have gone to Anna's room. But I went and did it anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

So Elsa wasn't surprised in the least when her father came knocking on her door a few minutes later. "Hello. Let me guess. I'm in trouble for going to Anna's room," she said flatly.

"Did Anna give you a note under the door? You know you're not supposed to have any contact with her, let alone go in her room. It isn't safe."

_Just get to the point. I know I'm going to get punished somehow. So what is it?_ Elsa thought. _Blah blah blah…I know I shouldn't spend time with Anna…it was stupid…I get it. I'm dangerous. Don't remind me, please._ She frowned and crossed her arms as she glared at the closed door and the ice barrier against it; but said nothing.

"You'll be making a trip downstairs if I hear any word that something like this has happened again."

Elsa stuck out her tongue at the door, thinking it didn't matter that she was being rude since no one could see her. "Euphemism alert," was all she said aloud.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It _means_" Elsa stressed the word 'means', "that I know that 'downstairs' means the castle dungeon, and that I would rather you just said it outright than avoid saying what it really is." _I'm not surprised, but I am _not_ going down there. I probably deserve it though. Going to Anna's room was a selfish thing to do on my part. What if I'd messed up and hurt her again?_ Elsa purposely blocked out her father's voice as she lit a candle and slipped into the secret passages. She just didn't want to listen anymore. Elsa made her way to the entrance into her sister's room and leaned against the passage wall. _I'll just have to be satisfied with this. At least I can sort of be close to Anna, even if she doesn't know I'm here. _"I don't deserve to even do this," she whispered. "I risked Anna's safety by spending time with her…" Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away…_" Elsa stopped singing when she felt her voice give out as she started to cry silently. _Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. I've got to stay sane. I've got to just forget everything and everyone, including Anna, even if it hurts. Which it will. _Still, Elsa stayed where she was, as close to Anna as she could be without risking her sister's safety again.

* * *

On the other side of the wall, Anna jumped in surprise. She was _sure _she'd heard Elsa singing that depressing song again and sounding awfully plaintive. _I must have imagined it. Still, I don't know…just in case…_ Anna thought for a minute before singing to the same melody,

_"I'll be your sunshine, forever'n'ever_

_I'll make you happy when skies are gray_

_You'll always know dear, how much I love you_

_I'll never take your sunshine away."_ Anna stopped singing and said aloud, "I'm, like, 99.999 percent sure I imagined your singing, Elsa, but just in case of the one percent chance that it was real, listen up. I mean it. I may not be able to be with you, but I'm here for you. Forever." She felt rather silly talking to what seemed to be absolutely nothing, but hey…just in case. Just in case.

* * *

Little did she know Elsa was on the other side of the wall in the secret passages. Elsa heard every word Anna said. _She did that for me and she really honest to goodness thought she was imagining things. I need to be quiet if I want to stay here. I know I don't deserve you, but thank you so much, Anna. I love you._

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	18. Hurricane

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Anna can't get anywhere with it without the story going out of canon entirely:P P.S. Lol, I agree; it is kinda rotten...oh well;)XD**

**fattensaad-Glad you're enjoying the story!:)**

**Lindstrom-That's the most succinct explanation of plot goings-on ever. Spot on:P :) **

**ElsaIsAmazing-I'm glad you like it!:) Hmm, that's a good idea, but then Anna would end up hearing about Elsa's powers too most likely...I'll try to work _something_ in with your idea, I'm just not sure how to do so without going way out of canon, lol:P**

**On to the story!:)**

Summer came again, and Elsa turned seventeen. She didn't bother to try to ask to see Anna, since she knew her request would just be denied. _And it's not safe anyway…_ Nevertheless, Anna managed to slip a carefully handmade birthday card under Elsa's door. Both girls knew that the door was being watched carefully for any contact between the two, and Anna was determined not to get Elsa in trouble again by accidentally blathering something or getting the two of them caught. So she slipped the card under the door quick as a wink and ran off down the hall without saying a word out loud.

Inside her room, Elsa ran over to the door and happily picked up the card. Her eyes grew big when she saw what Anna had drawn on the cover and on the inside. _She drew us building a snowman together when we were little on the front…then she put our present selves building a snowman together on the inside…_ Elsa smiled sadly as she read Anna's written message. _"Dear Elsa, I love you. You just remember that you are NOT worthless. And go find another form of sunshine for yourself besides me since I can't be with you. Princess Anna of Arendelle commands it! I drew the snowman pictures because I remember you loved winter so much when we were little. Plus, you told me you were immune to cold last Christmas! Which is super cool. Pun intended.:) Anyway, happy seventeenth birthday, Elsa! I miss you lots. Love ('CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT), Anna. P.S. Things will be better someday. I just know it."_

Elsa clutched Anna's card to her heart. _Anna actually remembers that I loved winter when we were little?! I still do, actually. If I knew how to control my powers, I'd say winter is _my _season. My element. But I can't, and so I don't. Immune to cold…hah, if Anna knew WHY I'm immune to cold, I know she wouldn't think it was so cool. But anyways…she didn't have to give me anything for my birthday. And she did anyway. Anna is awesome. _"Sorry, Anna, I can't follow your command. You _are _my only sunshine," she whispered.

That night, Elsa dreamed of building a snowman together with her sister up on the North Mountain. No cares, no worries. They were just _together_, and she and Anna were their real-life selves. It was as if a time machine had taken their pre-accident little selves, and flashed them to their present ages. Elsa still had ice powers, and Anna did not. But Elsa was in control, and Anna didn't dislike Elsa or feel scared of her.

Elsa couldn't honestly say she was completely happy the next morning when she woke up, but she somehow felt a sense of peace for once. _Anna's right. Things _will _be better someday. I don't know how or when, but it _will _happen. Someday._

* * *

A few weeks later, Elsa discovered that not only could she predict winter blizzards, she could predict summer hurricanes as well. This was odd to her, since she had always thought that her powers were strictly over all things cold…_not_ any other sorts of weather patterns. _They're still getting stronger, _Elsa thought in horror as she watched the wind blow the falling rain sideways out her still-missing window as it became dark outside. Elsa had not told anyone about her storm prediction because she didn't want to get blamed for making a storm again. _I need to get down to the first floor. It's not safe up here…_ Just as she was thinking that, there was a sharp knock on her door.

"Princess Elsa, I hope you don't have an ice barrier on that door at the moment. I've received strict orders to make sure you get downstairs until the hurricane is over. Your sister and parents are already in the cellar," Gerda said.

Elsa bit her lip. "Downstairs into the cellar or downstairs into the dungeon?" she asked hesitantly, not sure she wanted to know the answer. _I'll just take my chances and stay here if it's the dungeon._

"The cellar, of course, princess! My goodness, the dungeon…what sort of nonsense talk is that?!" _King Agdar didn't tell her about that cell, did he…?_

_It's not nonsense. I wish it was. _"There's no ice barrier on the door right now," Elsa admitted, relieved. She had allowed it to melt, but hadn't told anyone since she figured if her parents thought the door was frozen shut, they wouldn't try to come in. "I don't mind if you unlock the door and come in," she added, backing to the far side of the room.

Gerda opened the door and noticed the missing window.

Elsa followed her gaze and quickly said, "Gerda, please don't remind my parents about that. I like the window missing because it lets the outside air in."

"Of course I won't, princess."

Elsa said thank you and grabbed a book, some paper, and a pen before following Gerda out of the room. "Gerda, are you sure I'm supposed to come out? I'm not going to get in trouble for leaving my room?" she asked. _I find it a bit hard to believe Mom and Dad would let me stay in the cellar with them and Anna, even during a hurricane…_

Gerda turned back towards Elsa. "You are _not_ going to get in trouble for leaving your room, Princess Elsa. Did you think you were supposed to stay upstairs during a hurricane, especially one as severe as this one?"

Elsa slowly nodded. "They don't like me. And I'm dangerous," she said quietly. "Gerda, you're very, very sure I'm supposed to come to the cellar?" Elsa asked again, feeling and sounding more like she was seven than seventeen. _Except I was in control when I was seven…_

"Princess…your mother specifically told me to come fetch you and bring you downstairs. Come along." Gerda started down the staircase, making sure Elsa was following her, even if she was trailing several feet behind.

Elsa trailed behind, still not quite believing that she was supposed to be doing this. Soon they came to the kitchen, where the trapdoor leading down into the large cellar was. "Gerda, what if I lose control in there? I might hurt Anna…" Elsa whispered, clutching her book and paper and pen to her chest.

"You didn't lose control when you played charades with Anna a few months ago. Yes, I heard what happened from your sister," Gerda added when she saw Elsa's incredulous expression.

"What if I fall asleep and have a bad dream? I always make a huge icy mess when that happens…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

Gerda pulled the trapdoor open. "In you go, princess. You will be fine. Think happy thoughts."

* * *

Elsa slowly climbed down the ladder into the cellar. "Thank you, Gerda." The trapdoor closed, and Elsa blinked several times, trying to get used to the dim lighting from the single kerosene lamp in the middle of the floor. _Where is everyone?_

Elsa's question was answered when a shape jumped up from the floor and shouted, "ELSA! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE DOWN HERE NOW! Can we play a game?!" Anna asked excitedly.

Elsa was still thinking what she should respond when she heard, "Leave Elsa alone. Can't you see she brought a book to read?"

"I don't have to read it right now," Elsa muttered, but she took her cue from that and headed to the opposite corner of the cellar that was the farthest away from her sister and parents. _They don't want me here. They just brought me here because they had to. Well, at least they let me come down here anyways._ A sudden thought made her pause before sitting down. What if there were bugs on the floor or something? She didn't have some weird bug phobia exactly, but she did _not_ want to share the corner with them. Elsa ran back to the center of the cellar and took the lamp back over to her corner to make sure she wasn't going to be sitting on a bunch of dead bugs. The floor was clean. She put the lamp back in the middle of the floor and returned to the corner. _It's not light enough over here to read,_ she thought. Elsa leaned against the wall, pulled her knees to her chest, and just sat in silence.

"Dad, you can't make Elsa sit way over there in the corner! It's dark over there and…and…and well, it's just _mean_!" Anna exclaimed. "And she can't read her book over there, either."

"It's okay, Anna. I'm fine," Elsa said quietly. _Surely it's all right for me to talk to Anna…I mean, I'm being allowed in the same room at the moment because of extenuating circumstances…_

"See, you heard it from your sister herself. She's fine. Don't bother her."

Elsa took a deep breath. "Anna is not bothering me."

"See? Elsa said it herself-I'm not bothering her," Anna said triumphantly. "Can I please, please, please play a game with Elsa?"

Elsa watched with hopeful eyes for the answer. _I don't dare say I want to play a game with Anna. That'll get us a veto for sure._ Instead of saying a word, Elsa caught the shadow on the wall from the lamp and made a shadow bunny that only Anna could see because of the angle. _There. Now Anna will know I want to play with her, even if the final verdict is no._ Elsa smiled as she realized Anna had noticed her shadow animal and grinned at her.

"You can as long as you two don't get close to one another," Idun said.

Elsa was delighted. That was more than she could have hoped for, and besides, she didn't want to get close to Anna anyway. It wasn't safe.

Anna, on the other hand, was disgusted. "That's stupid. Maybe I want to give Elsa a hug or something."

Before Elsa's mind could process what was going on, Anna had run over to Elsa and hugged her. Elsa immediately tensed up all over. _Anna, get away from me. Please…_ But then when Anna continued holding her and nothing happened, Elsa started to relax ever so slightly.

The next thing Elsa knew, Anna, making a huge ruckus, had been dragged away from her, leaving Elsa feeling more lonely and unwanted than ever. Yes, Elsa agreed wholeheartedly that Anna should not hug her, but it still hurt. _I don't belong here. I'm just the dangerous family outcast…the defective one. _"Maybe I should just…go back upstairs…whether it's safe or not," she said, her voice faltering a bit. _Okay, Elsa, stop it right now. Emotions on lockdown. Conceal don't feel. You can't lose control down here._

Anna was positive from the sound of her sister's voice that she was more upset than she was letting on. She pulled herself away from her parents and walked back toward Elsa. _Oh, Elsa…_

Elsa sat in the corner curled in a ball with her forehead resting on her knees, trying to block out her surroundings. _You didn't expect to see Anna at all today, so why are you upset in the first place? You know you can't let her hug you anyways. Quit crying, Elsa. Can't lose control. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…I'm sleepy, actually…think happy thoughts…Anna and me on the North Mountain playing safely together…yeah…_

Knowing she was just going to get pulled away from Elsa again if she tried to hug her, Anna grabbed two blankets from the pile on a shelf and said softly, "Elsa? Why don't you just go to sleep? We can play a game tomorrow. I know it's late."

Elsa made no response. Anna waited a minute longer in silence before realizing Elsa had fallen asleep. "Mom, Dad…you just come over here and look at Elsa. She fell asleep like that, sitting curled up in a ball!" Anna whispered fiercely. "You hurt her feelings, yanking me away from her like you did!" _No wonder Elsa thinks of herself as not worth spending time with…_ Anna's own eyes filled with tears as she thought about what her poor sister must have felt like, that her own parents wouldn't even let Anna give her a hug. She knew Elsa didn't like being touched (in which case Anna realized it was awfully stupid to randomly grab her and give her a hug), but still. The whole thing was weird. _What am I supposed to do? I'm just a kid-I can't help Elsa! Well, I know what I'm going to do right this second anyways. _Anna gently got Elsa to lie down, resting her sister's head on a folded blanket. Then Anna took the second blanket and covered Elsa with it, pulling it around her sister's shoulders. Anna frowned when she noticed the tears streaking Elsa's face, and carefully brushed them away. _I love you, Elsa. I'm sorry I can't fix things for us. _Anna stroked Elsa's hair lightly, not daring to actually give her a hug again, since it would risk waking her up.

Elsa didn't wake up, but she smiled a little and subconsciously snuggled closer to Anna. Anna was very surprised until she realized Elsa was still asleep. _So Elsa _does_ like someone being close to her…she just thinks she can't because of the 'it's not safe' thing…Well, at least she's happy right now, even if she is just sleeping. I know Elsa wouldn't let me be this close to her if she was awake…what is going on?!_

"Anna, what are you doing over there?"

"I'm making Elsa happy, since nobody else will," Anna answered softly. "She's _asleep_, Dad. That" Anna pointed at her sister "does _not_ look dangerous. Why can't you understand that she just wants someone to…to, oh, I don't know what the right word is…accept her, maybe?"

The conversation abruptly ended when Elsa said, "...building Olaf with me, Anna…fun together…ice slide magic…"

"I rest my case," Anna announced. "She's happy. Hey, wait…ice slide magic, Elsa? That sounds cool! What are you talking about?" Something poked at Anna's brain, but she couldn't place it at all.

Elsa didn't reply, of course. She was fast asleep, happily playing on ice slides _she_ made with Anna in her dream.

* * *

Anna carefully stood up, making sure she didn't wake Elsa up. Then she tiptoed over to her parents. She had a question. An extra important question. "Mom, Dad…when me and Elsa-I mean Elsa and I-were little, right before she started staying in her room all the time, I remember we slid down icy ramps of snow in the courtyard. Then I _think_ I fell somehow and hit my head…it's all kind of fuzzy. What happened, exactly?" Anna had never really questioned the fuzziness of that particular memory; she figured that she must have gotten knocked on the head hard enough to make the whole thing hazy. But now…had something happened that Elsa blamed herself for? That would sort of explain why Elsa thought she wasn't safe for Anna to be around. Maybe Elsa had accidentally pushed or hit her. Or threw a snowball at her or something and made her slip. _I have to know!_

"You two were playing together by yourselves…no one saw exactly what happened."

"But Elsa had to have told you what happened," Anna pressed. "Please tell me! Did Elsa do something to make me fall that she's blaming herself for?"

"To our knowledge, you just slipped and fell…"

Anna was disappointed at that answer. That meant her reasoning for Elsa's behavior was wrong. _Boo. And I was so sure I was right._ "Can I sleep next to Elsa?" she asked.

Dead silence.

"Well, in that case, I'm gonna assume it's a yes," Anna said, and proceeded to grab two blankets for herself.

"Anna, you can't sleep next to your sister. It's not safe."

Anna rolled her eyes and stamped her foot; then whipped around, checking to see if she'd woken Elsa up. She hadn't. "Elsa. Is. Not. Dangerous. And I'm gonna prove it. So there." She marched across the cellar and started rolling up one of the blankets to use as a pillow.

"You do that and you're going to find yourself with no dessert for a month."

Anna didn't hesitate with her reply. "That's not getting me this time. No sirree. I care more about my sister than my dessert, thank you very much." She plopped down on the floor and curled up next to Elsa. "Good night."

"Anna…get back over here right now."

"Uh-uh…And guess what? If you try to physically make me move, I'm gonna yell and scream and make such a huge fuss you can't believe it."

What Anna did not know was that her threat was actually more convincing to her parents than she assumed. If Anna followed through with that, she would wake Elsa up. And Elsa would probably freak out…and a freaked-out Elsa would lose control. Right now Elsa was calm and fast asleep.

Anna grinned and scooched a bit closer to her sister. _After all, Elsa's asleep. She won't mind since she doesn't know…_

* * *

An hour later, Anna blinked her eyes open in surprise when she felt a cool, almost cold something holding her. _What's going on?_ Anna tried to wiggle away, but the something whimpered slightly and clutched Anna tighter. _Oh, right…I'm in the cellar next to Elsa. Wait, _Elsa_ is holding me?!_ Now Anna was mad. _Mom and Dad are dead set on keeping me away from Elsa, and she claims herself that it's not safe for me to be around her. And now that she's asleep, she's actually holding on to me and won't let go. _Anna wiggled one of her arms loose from Elsa's tight hold, and put her arm around Elsa. _I love you, Elsa. You shouldn't need to hang onto me like this, but if that's what makes you happy, then that's fine with me._

Elsa's eyes blinked open, not really focusing on anything. _I'm still dreaming. Yeah, I have to be still dreaming. I wouldn't have hugged Anna myself in real life. What a nice dream…_

Anna was startled when Elsa blinked dazedly at her. "Elsa?"

"Are you real?" Elsa asked. She put out one hand to touch Anna's face. "You seem real…I know you can't be though…I wouldn't have let you this close to me in real life…"

Anna opened her mouth to say something, but Elsa kept talking.

"…since you're dream-Anna, I gotta tell you something…You should hate me…freak…monster…defective…" Elsa covered her face with her hands as she shook with sobs.

Anna's heart went out to her sister, knowing that Elsa really believed herself to still be dreaming and that that was the _only_ reason she had said those things and hadn't immediately hightailed it away from Anna. _Well, if Elsa thinks I'm just a dream, then I won't scare her if I give her a hug, right? _With this logic, Anna glanced in the direction of their parents to make sure they were still asleep. Then she sat up, pulled Elsa into her lap, and held her close; not caring that her sister was seventeen and not a little four- or five-year-old. "Shhh, Elsa, it's ok. I could never hate you. You're no freak or monster. You're my sweet older sister who deserves lots of good friends and nice things…chocolate, perhaps?"

Elsa's tears began to slow as she listened to Anna's soothing words. _Nice dream-Anna. I wish this was real life…_

Anna smiled as Elsa calmed down and contentedly buried her face in Anna's shoulder.

"…wish this was real…" Elsa mumbled.

Anna wished she could tell Elsa that it was indeed real, but she didn't dare. She'd probably just make Elsa upset all over again or scare her. So she stayed quiet.

"…playing with you…North Mountain…summit…" Elsa said into Anna's shoulder as she fell completely asleep again.

_What in the world?! Playing with me on the North Mountain? Where did that come from?! _Anna frowned, knowing that the summit of the North Mountain was in the middle of nowhere. There was no one around for miles up there. Still, it was a dream, and Anna figured Elsa could dream whatever she wanted as long as it made her happy. "Right, Elsa, playing together on the summit of the North Mountain, doing…uh…um…ah… Well, whatever it is we're doing," she finished, hoping she hadn't messed up Elsa's dream.

Elsa giggled in her sleep. "…y'know what we're doing…buildin' Olaf, of course! An' ice slide magics…"

_There she goes about magical ice slides again! And she sounds like she's about three…what is Elsa talking about?_ Anna bit her tongue, wondering if she should say anything else. She didn't want to risk getting Elsa upset again, but it seemed really odd to her that Elsa had just started talking about magical ice slides-or, as in this time, 'ice slide magics'-for the second time. _Nah, it's probably just a recurring dream of hers. I'm not risking making her upset again._ Anna leaned against the wall, still holding Elsa. Anna's arms were getting tired, but no way was she going to wake Elsa up to try to get her to lay down again. More likely she'd scare Elsa instead.

Soon Anna fell asleep as well. Both Anna and Elsa slept peacefully the rest of the night.

* * *

The next morning found Anna back on the other side of the cellar and Elsa still in the corner. When Anna woke up, she was absolutely disgusted. _Did Mom and Dad really have to move us? I was perfectly happy over in the corner with Elsa, thank you very much._

As for Elsa, her first thought when she woke up was that her dreams had seemed _awfully_ real last night. How much of the dream while she and Anna were still in the cellar had been real, if any? _Probably none, _she decided. _It _couldn't_ have been real. I got upset and I didn't lose control. That's impossible. So it must have been a dream. But it was wonderful while it lasted._

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	19. Hurricane-Part II

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-I'm glad you liked it:) After I wrote it, I was wondering if it was too similar to bholley's story (I happen to really like that story actually), but I swear I really did come up with it myself:P Hopefully it wasn't too much the same...:/**

**bananas-rule-2015-Glad you liked it!:) I think Anna is smarter than some people give her credit for; surely she had to have figured out a _little_ bit about why Elsa acts the way she does.:P**

**Guest-Thank you!**

**On to the story!:)**

"Elsa, what d'you want for breakfast? We've got, uh…cereal and chocolate down here. That's it," Anna said. "Wait, what kind of choice is that?! Chocolate, of course!"

Elsa giggled, then clapped her hand over her mouth. Would their parents get mad at her for sharing a joke with Anna? "Chocolate, please," she said politely.

"You two cannot have chocolate for breakfast," Idun scolded. "I think you're addicted to it. Chocolate disappears out of the kitchen so fast you'd think there are ten princesses in the castle instead of two!"

Elsa and Anna exchanged guilty, knowing glances from the opposite wall as they sat in separate corners. Anna had come up with a compromise (which she thought was lame to her and Elsa): she and Elsa could have this half of the cellar to themselves, but they had to stay in their respective corners. This was just fine with Elsa; all she wanted was to talk to Anna in the first place anyways.

"Uh…we're growing girls and need some sugar strength!" Anna announced.

Elsa couldn't hold in her giggles this time. "You're on a sugar high if you really believe that!" she told her sister.

"I am always on a sugar high," Anna responded in a serious voice. "Mom, I'm not eating that cereal!" she added as Idun brought her a bowl of cereal. "It's that icky plain wheat kind!"

"_A-a-nna's a-always on a sugar hi-i-igh!"_ Elsa sang in a silly voice on purpose. She tensed up for a moment when her mother set a bowl of cereal beside her. _Too close… _(Elsa had no intentions of eating it any more than Anna did. She didn't like it either.)

Anna laughed and pretended to clap her hands over her ears at Elsa's goofy song.

_"Especially when cho-o-colate's ni-i-igh!"_ Elsa added another line to her song.

Now Anna joined in with, _"Super A-a-nna and Super Elsa-a must fetch the choc'late from where it li-ie!"_

_ "A-a-nna's offended the Grammar Queen and made her di-ie!"_ Elsa replied, barely able to sing through her held-in giggles.

Anna made a face at Elsa and stuck out her tongue. "I couldn't come up with proper grammar for a rhyme."

"Elsa will come up with one every time," Elsa replied with a slight smirk. _I like the rhyme game…I'm good at it!_

Anna was a bit irritated with Elsa's quick rhyming replies, but she was very, very happy that Elsa didn't seem particularly scared or upset anymore. She could see a shadow of the mischievous, happy little girl Elsa had been years before. Anna recognized that sassy little smirk on her sister's face. It meant Elsa had just done or said something she was quite pleased with herself about. _I hope the hurricane lasts for days and days so I can help Elsa be happy._ "You're silly-go eat a lime," Anna came up with.

Elsa giggled. "I can't do that; I'm being a mime," she replied, and acted out eating a lime and thinking it was sour.

* * *

"Let's stop all the racket, shall we?" Agdar asked as he came down the ladder into the cellar. "The storm is over, so we can all head back upstairs."

Elsa's face fell. _I'm actually having fun with Anna right now…and wait! That hurricane isn't over!_ Elsa closed her eyes, thinking hard about the storm. She wasn't sure why she was absolutely certain the storm wasn't over, but she knew it wasn't. _Actually, I know exactly what it is. Hurricanes are like a swirling circle with a calm center in the middle-the eye. The first half of the storm bands are over, and the eye of the storm is over Arendelle now._

Anna looked with concern over at Elsa. The smirk and giggles had disappeared, leaving behind a disappointed Elsa who was evidently thinking hard about something. "Elsa, what are you thinking about?"

Elsa glanced at Anna. "Storm's not over," she muttered.

"Hey, Mom, Dad, Elsa says the storm's not over! So that means we can stay down here longer!" Anna announced.

"She said _what_?"

Elsa flinched and made herself as small as possible in the corner. _Why did I tell Anna that? Now I'm going to get in trouble for 'predicting a storm' again, even though this time it was mostly scientific deduction, not my powers._

"She said the storm's not over," Anna repeated. "So we can stay down here together longer!"

"Elsa, did you say that?"

Elsa slowly got to her feet and looked her father straight in the face. "Yes, I did. It's a hurricane, and right now the eye of the storm is passing over us. I _know_ that's what it is. Please believe me…"

"How do you know this?"

"Because of this." Elsa quickly scribbled out a rough sketch of what she was talking about on the paper she'd brought down with her. "See? There are, like, storm bands, then the center is calm, and then another set of storm bands. _Then_ the hurricane is over." _I can't be any more logical than that._ Elsa gazed hopefully at her father as she held out her sketch.

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Makes sense to me," Anna said, quick to defend Elsa. "Hey, she's _definitely_ right…" Anna added as a loud crash of thunder reverberated loud enough that it reached their ears in the cellar.

Elsa sighed in relief. That thunder proved she was correct, thank goodness. She sat back down in the corner; then immediately jumped up and grabbed her book and blankets. "Um, everyone…? I think the walls are leaking…"

Elsa was right. There was a puddle of water seeping onto the floor through a seam in the wall.

"All right, we'll have to put a bucket there," Agdar said.

"W-where do I go?" Elsa asked hesitantly. "That was _my_ corner that's leaking." _Back upstairs? The dungeon?_

"You can share my corner," Anna offered instantly.

Elsa looked sadly at Anna and shook her head. "I can't…I wish I could, but it's not safe."

Anna frowned at her. _Why does Elsa keep saying that? _"Well…I promise I won't touch you if you don't want me to. You could still sit over here anyways."

Elsa hesitated. _Could_ she do that? She believed Anna when she said she wouldn't touch her, but still… Elsa made her decision. She had just started walking over to Anna when she heard a warning, "Elsa, you know you shouldn't do that," from behind her. Something inside Elsa made her turn around and say with great certainty, "I'm fine right now. I won't touch Anna, and she won't touch me. But there is nowhere for me to go anyway, so I'm staying put." _I really am fine. I'm not out of control right now. _Then she turned back toward Anna and gave her a hesitant smile.

Anna gave her a welcoming smile, scooted over, and then patted the floor beside her. _You're welcome here, Elsa. You don't have to question whether it's ok with me to come over here or not._

Elsa set her things on the floor a few feet from Anna. She still didn't feel at all comfortable being close to her sister, but Anna's happy smile told her that she _was_ welcome here. Anna didn't care that her sister acted odd and switched moods constantly. She was willing to accept Elsa just the way she was, even if she didn't want to be touched for seemingly no reason, even after she shut Anna out for so long. Elsa still was a bit afraid that Anna would be scared of her or dislike her if she knew what Elsa's real problem was; but right now, Elsa wasn't going to concern herself about it. She'd worry about that later. Right now, she would savor every moment she had with Anna. _Because the second the hurricane is over, everything will be back the way it was._

* * *

"Elsa, what book did you bring down here with you?" Anna asked a few minutes later.

Elsa glanced across the cellar at their parents, but they weren't paying the girls any mind. They were talking about something. "I remembered you liked fairy tales when we were little, so I…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"So you brought one down," Anna finished happily. "I thought you didn't like most fairy tales 'cause they were 'mushy'!"

"That would be correct," Elsa replied. "Could I…could I read you a story like when we were little?" she whispered. "I'll understand if you don't want me to since we're not little kids anymore."

"Are you kidding me?! I'd love it if you did that! But I have a better idea-why don't we act out the story? We did that a couple times when we were little, and it was so much fun," Anna said. "Can we do 'Sleeping Beauty'? That one's my favorite!"

"It was your favorite when we were little, too. And sure, that sounds like fun," Elsa agreed. _You're awesome, Anna. I'm so glad you're willing to play with me._

"Which character d'you wanna play?"

"The evil fairy," Elsa replied immediately.

"O-o-ok…I don't mind, but Elsa, why did you pick her?" Anna asked curiously.

Elsa turned her gaze away from Anna. "Because she suits me best. You can play the prince and kill the evil fairy."

_What the…?! _"Elsa, let's get one thing straight right this second. You can play the evil fairy if you want to, but you are _not_ anything like her. You don't go around cackling and casting curses on people who didn't do anything to you." Something else popped into Anna's mind. Did this have anything to do with Elsa calling herself a freak and a monster? Anna didn't dare ask her sister that, but there was _no way _she was letting Elsa play the villain when Elsa already thought rotten things about herself. Nor was she going to act out killing Elsa's character in their game. "Why don't you play the nice fairies instead?" Anna suggested.

Elsa had her arms crossed around her middle, hugging herself as she looked down at the floor. _I might as well have put a curse on someone who didn't do anything to me. I hit Anna with my powers and almost killed her! I've got a curse inside me… _The logical part of Elsa's mind prodded her into remembering that her last thought wasn't true, though. _My powers aren't a curse. I feel like they are, but they're _not_. I was simply born that way. I still wish I could be normal…_

"Elsa? Are you all right?" Anna asked. _Ok, so that was a dumb question. She doesn't look all right._

Elsa's pensive expression disappeared and was replaced with a neutral one a moment later. "I will be fine," she said, trying to convince both herself and Anna that it was true. _You'd better be fine, Elsa, because you are _not_ going to lose control down here and risk hurting Anna._

Anna frowned at her, knowing she was trying to cover up her real feelings again. "Elsa…you don't have to conceal your emotions around me." Then she added in a whisper, "I won't tell Mom and Dad anything if you don't want me to."

"It's not that…" Elsa gave Anna a sad smile. "It's just…just…" _I lose control when I get emotional. What's wrong with me that I can't control something that's literally part of me? _"Anna…I don't know what to say. I don't know what's wrong with me…"

"You don't know what's wrong with you because there isn't anything wrong with you in the first place," Anna said firmly.

"Yes, there is," Elsa whispered as she sat down on the floor and pulled her knees to her chest again. "I've ignored you for so long; I act weird and unpredictable; I'm dangerous; I have odd habits" she held one gloved hand out to Anna "and I've got i-" Elsa's eyes grew big when she realized what she had been just about to tell her sister. _Shut up, Elsa. You almost told Anna that YOU HAVE ICE POWERS YOU CAN'T CONTROL! How could you do that?!_ Elsa flicked her eyes toward their parents, hoping beyond hope that they hadn't heard what she had said (or started to say). _Thank goodness. They're still talking about something._

Anna gave Elsa a quizzical look. "You've got what?" she asked curiously. _I-what? What could Elsa be talking about?_

"N-nothing…I can't tell you…" Elsa said quietly.

Anna made a face. "Well…ok. Anyhow, you are not dangerous. And Elsa, I don't care if you act weird and unpredictable or have odd habits. You're still my super awesome and sweet older sister, no matter what. _Everyone_ has funny little quirks of one kind or another. They're what help make us, well, _us_." _Except wearing gloves all the time and randomly changing feelings that you then try to cover up aren't _Elsa_ quirks. Something's happened to her that makes her act like that…I wish I knew what it was so I could help her fix it and get back to her old happy self._

_But I don't want uncontrollable ice powers to be part of what makes me _me_. I just want to be normal so I can be around Anna without being terrified I'm going to hurt her every second._ "I hate myself then," Elsa replied in a detached voice. "I don't like my 'funny little quirks'. _Any_ of them. I don't even let my own sister hug me, for goodness sakes." Elsa covered her face with her hands and didn't say anything more.

* * *

Anna argued with herself for a minute before going over to Elsa, kneeling in front of her, and pulling Elsa's hands away from her face and holding them tightly. Elsa jumped at the unexpected contact and stared in surprise and terror at Anna. _Anna, you've gotta let go of me! It's not safe! I'm going to end up hurting you again!_ She started trying to pull her hands away from Anna, but stopped when she felt one of her gloves slipping off.

"Elsa, stop it. You're fine. See, I'm holding your hands and you aren't hurting me. You aren't dangerous," Anna said, trying to calm her sister down.

"You don't understand, Anna! _Please_ let me go and don't touch me anymore!" Elsa whispered frantically as her blue eyes began to fill with tears. "You _promised_! You said you wouldn't touch me!" _I shouldn't have believed Anna when she said she wouldn't touch me. Anna's still too impulsive. She's trying to help, but she's just plain not._

Anna caught the slight edge of betrayal in her sister's voice and quickly released her hands. _I did tell Elsa that. I went back on my word. _"I'm really sorry, Elsa. I was just trying to help…"

_I know you were._ Elsa dropped her gaze away from Anna and didn't say anything. _Now I've made Anna apologize for something that shouldn't have been a problem in the first place._

"Elsa, I really am sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset."

Elsa just nodded to acknowledge Anna. "It's okay, Anna…and the worst part is that I really do want a hug. I just c-can't give y-you one…" _Emotions on lockdown. Conceal don't feel._

Anna frowned. _What is that supposed to mean?_ "Well, then…if you can't give me one, then I'm gonna give you one. Yes, I lied," she said, making sure to acknowledge the fact that yes, she had told Elsa she wouldn't touch her, but she was going to give her sister a hug anyway.

Elsa shrank back against the wall, but she couldn't make herself move away completely. She knew it was selfish to let Anna do that, but inside she was _dying_ for her sister's hug. _Move, Elsa. You can't let Anna do that! Not safe. Not safe. Not safe._ Elsa felt her sister's arms around her shoulders, and she tensed up all over. _Make Anna stop! Elsa. Get. Anna. Away. From. You. Now!_

"You're ok, Elsa. I got you," Anna said, happy that at least Elsa hadn't moved away from her, even if she was all tense and stiff as a board.

Anna didn't know it, but those words struck a nerve in Elsa. _The accident! I said that after I hit Anna! I have to get out of here! I _hurt_ her! What on earth am I thinking to let Anna be this close to me?!_ "Anna, get away from me! I'm just going to hurt you! It's not safe!" Elsa almost shouted, trying to push Anna away from her. She immediately regretted being so loud when she realized she had caught their parents' attention. "Oh, no…"

"Oh no what?" Anna asked, keeping one arm firmly wrapped around her sister and turning to see what Elsa was looking at. "Oh…" _Now what have I done? I've probably gotten Elsa in awful trouble…_ Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before standing up and saying, "Don't you _dare_ get mad at Elsa. I-"

But their parents weren't paying Anna any mind. "Elsa, what have you done? You know you're not supposed to be around Anna anyway, and there you two were hugging each other a second ago."

* * *

Elsa slowly got to her feet and clasped her hands behind her back, but she didn't say anything. She felt herself starting to replay the accident from when they were little in her head, and tried her hardest to shut it off. _No, Elsa. You are _not_ having a stupid flashback right now. I know letting Anna hug me was stupid. I know I'm guilty. Just please leave me alone._

"I hugged Elsa, not the other way around," Anna said quickly. "In fact, she really didn't hug me at all." Anna stepped into a protective stance with her hands on her hips on front of Elsa. _Mom and Dad can get mad at me this time. Elsa doesn't need to get fussed at for absolutely nothing. She's got enough issues dealing with…whatever it is that's bothering her._

"Elsa, I think we need to take a trip downstairs."

"_No._ I'll just go back up to my room first," Elsa said. She considered complaining about the euphemism again; then changed her mind, not wanting to stick Anna with any weird, disturbing information about the whole thing.

"You can't go back upstairs to your room until the hurricane is over."

Elsa sighed. _True. I almost wish I could go back to my room and just get blown away by the storm…_ "Okay." _I'm going to go crazy if I have to stay down there. What if they don't let me out when the hurricane is over?_

Anna looked from Elsa to her parents and back again in puzzlement. What in the world were they talking about? "Where are you taking Elsa? We're already downstairs. Is there another cellar I don't know about?"

"You don't want to know," Elsa muttered. "Goodbye, Anna…"

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon:)**

**Special note to ElsaIsAmazing: I got your idea incorporated into the next chapter without veering way out of canon.:) YAY:P Hopefully it'll be like you wanted!:)**


	20. Downstairs-That's a Euphemism Alert

**(EDITED FOR SPACING ISSUES:P My apologies for forgetting to put in line breaks:))**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**AnacToria Sky-Yeah, but Elsa thinks it's just a regular cell...and I'm keeping it that way:P**

**bananas-rule-2015-That actually IS happening in this chapter...:/ Hmm, I think I'm going to call this chapter something besides 'Hurricane Part Blahblahblah', so I guess the hurricane series is over:)**

**Guest-Congrats for catching my (probably bad) foreshadowing on that:P Yep, that will definitely be an important piece in the story. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!:)**

**Fatten Saad-Lol, yes, I will kill them off in either the next chapter or the one after.;) Glad you like my writing:)**

**brunetti33-Well, I'm flattered that you like my story enough to want longer chapters, but I can't guarantee that they'll be longer:P (I split the chapters up as I see fit as I go along, so some end up way longer than others...;)) PS Since I want to keep this in canon, Anna will find out about Elsa's powers when she does in the movie. Cool idea though...*files idea away for future AU story*:) Your writing's fine:)**

**On to the story!:) Get ready for lots of depressing feels:/**

Elsa reluctantly followed her father out of the cellar. "Elsa, it's just till the hurricane is over," Agdar said.

Elsa frowned, but she didn't reply. _Great. Not. I hope the hurricane ends as soon as possible. I don't want to stay down there._

When they arrived in front of a certain dungeon cell, Agdar opened the door and Elsa stepped inside without a word. _I will not cry. I won't. I'm not going to break down. You can't make me._ Elsa stepped over to the latticed window, then turned back a moment later when she heard a suspicious rattling sound. She immediately knew what was going on. _Why, Dad? Why? You're going to chain me up down here…I wasn't going to leave. That's not fair. It's not. You didn't even give me a chance, to just ask me if I'd stay here without a fuss. I'm no liar. I wouldn't have lied about that._ Elsa just stood and said nothing as the shackles clamped over her hands and wrists. She would not cry. She wouldn't. _Conceal, don't feel. Just get out of here and leave me alone, all right?_

"Just until the hurricane is over."

Elsa bit her lip and turned her back on him. _It better be. But I don't trust you. What if you change your mind and leave me here longer?_ She heard the door lock, and she plopped down on the bench against the wall, wishing she were anywhere but here.

* * *

Anna mulled it over while their dad took Elsa _somewhere_-Anna didn't know where-and came back. _Ok, it's "downstairs"; Elsa would rather go back to her room; she said I didn't want to know what it was; and there are no other cellars in the castle. At least I don't think so…wait a second! Dad wasn't talking about the _dungeon,_ was he?! _That was the only logical solution she could come up with, but it was horrible and creepy. Something told Anna that was _exactly_ where Elsa was, but she still didn't want to accept the fact. _Elsa doesn't deserve that. She needs someone to understand her and be her friend, not lock her up for no reason._

"So, Dad," Anna said casually when he came back, "why did you put MY SISTER in the dungeon?" Then, "ELSA DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!" she exploded.

"Elsa isn't in the dungeon."

Anna crossed her arms. "Then it's totally ok if I just go down there and look, right?" She actually didn't want to get anywhere _near_ the dungeon-it had creeped her out when she was little-but she'd go down there if Elsa was there.

"All right, Anna…Elsa is down there, but there isn't any other place in the castle that's safe during a hurricane."

"What was wrong with Elsa being _right here_?!" Anna wailed. "It's not enough that you guys have made her scared of her own shadow practically, and make her stay in her room all the time…you went and put _my sister, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle,_ in the dungeon! How could you do that to her?!" Struck by an idea, Anna added, "If Elsa's gotta stay down there, can I go down there and stay with her?" _Elsa's gotta be miserable down there. Maybe I could try to make her feel better…_

"No, Anna, you can't. It's not safe."

"I wish Elsa was queen of Arendelle already and locked you down there instead," Anna muttered angrily.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, I WISH ELSA WAS QUEEN OF ARENDELLE ALREADY AND LOCKED YOU DOWN THERE INSTEAD!" Anna shouted, not caring in the least how rude she sounded.

"Anna, be reasonable…"

"I _am_ being reasonable! Why would you lock a seventeen-year-old girl, who also happens to be your own kid, in the dungeon?! It's horrid! _SHE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! _I mean, how would _you_ feel if you were in Elsa's place? She probably feels hurt and abandoned. _How could you do that to her?!_" Anna did her best not to yell, remain reasonable, and give logical arguments. She was successful in being reasonable and giving logical arguments…but not yelling? Eh, not so much. "Elsa should've made a huge stink about going down there, but noooo; she wants to please you, so she went along with it!" _Either that or she was too scared to do anything…_

"She went along with it because she knew it was the right thing to do."

"No. It is NOT. She should have made a humongous fuss and insisted it was unfair and stupid," Anna said firmly. Another thought popped into her head, "Dad, you didn't…chain Elsa up too, did you?" The thought made Anna sick, but she asked the question anyway. _I've gotta find a way to talk to Elsa after the hurricane is over. To tell her what happened to her was wrong and unfair. She probably thinks she deserves it, after what I heard her call herself last night… And this is partly my fault-if I hadn't tried to hug her, she wouldn't have freaked out and gotten in trouble._

The absence of a response told Anna that her worst suspicions were true. Anna's eyes filled with tears as she thought about Elsa chained up in the dungeon alone, with no one to talk to or to let her out. "_How could you do that to her?!_" Anna screeched. "That's just plain _hateful_! You left Elsa chained up in the dungeon, AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! I'm the one that hugged her! She didn't hug me! Not that hugging was wrong in the first place, but anyways…that's not the point! All Elsa wanted was someone to really, truly care about her for once-even if she didn't really admit it out loud. And did you guys understand that?! No, you didn't! You just shot her down again! Elsa already thinks she's dangerous and a monster and a freak. And THIS sort of thing is why! You've _hurt_ her! Not physically, but on the inside. She's going to snap eventually, whether it's by getting super mad and revengeful, or going completely crazy. I don't know for sure since I'm a kid too, but I think Elsa's already depressed. She needs _help_, not you guys mistreating her. And Elsa is _my_ sister, and I'm never, ever gonna stop trying to stick up for her. If she's not going to stand up for herself, then I'm going to do it for her." _This sort of thing is also why Elsa thinks she's not worth spending time with. What is she supposed to think when her own parents put her in the dungeon? I _have_ to find a way to help Elsa. I've got to!_

* * *

'Downstairs', Elsa sat slumped on the bench in the cell she was locked in and examined the shackles that bound her hands. Maybe she could get them off. _I won't go back upstairs; I'll stay here like I'm supposed to; but I want those horrid things off me. _They pinched her wrists; they were heavy; and the whole situation made her feel sick. _I know I'm abnormal and a freak and I hurt Anna, but I do _not_ deserve this. Dad's wrong this time. I should have just gotten sent down here and left it at that. I didn't have to be chained up besides._ Now she wished she had made more of a protest when those things were put on her, but no; she'd just stood there in a sort of daze and said absolutely nothing. _That was stupid. Why did I do that?_

Elsa stood up and started yanking on the chains, but they wouldn't budge. _I can freeze the lock open off my door, so maybe I can just do that…_ The only trouble was that this metal was definitely much stronger and thicker than the metal on her door's lock. Still, she had nothing to lose, so she went ahead and attempted to break the shackles open. Fifteen minutes later, the only things Elsa had gotten out of her efforts were sore arms from yanking and pulling, and a sharp piece of ice jabbing her hand inside one of the shackles. _Great, just great. I guess I'll just have to wait for that ice to melt, if it melts at all since it's sitting right on my skin…_ Elsa walked as close to the latticed window as the chains would let her and stared outside. It was still raining hard, and she could see leaves, small branches, and shingles flying through the air. The fjord water also appeared higher than usual. It crossed her mind that it was probably not safe to stand so close to the window, but right now, she didn't particularly care. There was nothing to do in there, nothing to entertain her except her own dejected thoughts. _Which is not a good thing. Leave Elsa alone with her thoughts and she's going to go batty eventually. Okay, Elsa, STOP THINKING. Zone out. Make yourself be anywhere but here._

'Anywhere but here' turned out to be daydreaming about playing on the North Mountain with Anna. _Anna, I miss you. Why did I try to push you away like that in the cellar? If I hadn't been so noisy, I wouldn't have ended up here…it doesn't matter what I do. I tried to do the unselfish thing and get Anna away from me and I still got in trouble. Anna tried to explain what happened and they wouldn't even listen! It's not fair. And I want these stupid things off me-now!_ Elsa began pulling against the chains again, but it was useless. They were stuck, and they'd stay stuck until someone took them off for her. The sharp piece of ice was still poking her hand, and it hurt. She tried wiggling her fingers around to dislodge it, but that didn't work either. "I want out of here!" Elsa almost shouted. _What if I get left down here forever? What would I do? Maybe Anna would find me eventually._

Elsa curled up on the bench and finally let herself cry. Who cared if she lost control down here; there was no one to see it. She felt lonely and depressed, and very, very isolated. _I want Anna back. At least she doesn't make me feel horrible about myself, even if she doesn't know my real problem. What would Anna say if she knew I had ice powers I couldn't control? That I hurt her when she was five? Would she understand or would she be scared of me or hate me? She should hate me…I don't deserve all her understanding words. Still-she made me happy again, at least for a little while. I _have_ to figure out how to control it; I have to; I have to! Then I can have Anna back. I know I can't get rid of my powers, and that's the only other solution. I'd rather be normal so I don't have to worry about this…_

Elsa managed to fall asleep that night, but she kept waking up and shifting uncomfortably. Her hands felt stiff and sore, and she couldn't do anything about it. _Whenever I get out of here, if I get out of here, I'm making it perfectly clear that I will not come down here again without making a fuss. This stinks, and I'm still…hurt that Mom and Dad made me come down here in the first place._ The only good thing about being unable to sleep properly was that she didn't have to deal with bad dreams. _That's a good thing, I guess, right?_

* * *

The next morning, Elsa was very pleased to see that the hurricane seemed to be over. It was still overcast and cloudy, but the rain had stopped. Elsa closed her eyes and thought hard. _Yes, the storm is over. I know it is. Okay, somebody, anybody, come down here and let me out. I'll go back to my room like I'm supposed to. I just want out of here._

Just as she was thinking that she might start making lots of noise to try to get someone to come, Elsa heard a quick knock on the door and the key in the lock; then Gerda appeared in the doorway. "I was starting to think nobody was going to come…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"If you'll pardon me for saying so, your parents had no right to put you down here, Princess Elsa," Gerda said, looking at Elsa with concern. _She probably hardly slept last night…_ Elsa looked tired and upset, and she had dark circles under her eyes.

Elsa gave Gerda a small smile. "Do stop worrying about me and just take these heavy things off," she said, holding up her shackled hands.

"Of course, princess." Gerda found the key and quickly released Elsa's hands. "Princess Elsa, what is that?" she asked, eying the raw blister on Elsa's hand.

Elsa glanced at the sore spot and winced as she tried to get her hands to stop cramping up. "I tried to freeze the shackles off and it didn't work. There was this piece of ice poking me all night," she muttered. _It should have melted, but I guess it didn't since it was in direct contact with me the whole time. _"I wasn't going to go back to the cellar; I was going to stay here…I just wanted those things off," Elsa added quickly.

Gerda frowned, but didn't say anything. "Let's just get you out of here now; shall we?"

Elsa was only too glad to go along with that. She gave one of the shackles a kick as she headed out of the cell. "Thank you for coming to let me out, Gerda." _I hate that place. I never, ever want to come down here again._

Elsa was surprised to see Anna waiting for her at the top of the steps leading out of the dungeon. "How did you know where I was, Anna?" she asked.

"Oh, I figured it out pretty quickly. Elsa…I'm really, really sorry…if I'd kept my word and didn't hug you, you wouldn't have gotten scared and got in trouble," Anna apologized.

"Don't apologize, Anna. It wasn't your fault," Elsa assured her. "It was probably bound to happen anyways…" Elsa suddenly realized her hands were bare, and she clasped them behind her back, out of sight; but not before Anna noticed the blister on Elsa's hand.

"Elsa…is that blister from what I think it's from?" Anna asked.

"And what do you think it's from? If you thought from being chained up since around lunchtime yesterday, you'd be correct," Elsa said flatly. _Anna already knows I was down there, so it's not a super big deal that I told her that, right?_

Anna made a face. "That's what I thought…Elsa, did you sleep at all last night?" _Did Elsa even eat anything all that time…? I bet she didn't. How could she with her hands chained up?_

"A little…Anna, I'd better go…" Elsa replied. _I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to get sent down there again, either._ She turned away from Anna and started heading toward the main staircase.

"Elsa, wait. Lemme just tell you something first," Anna said quickly. She ran in front of Elsa, who immediately stopped in her tracks and didn't reply.

_Make it quick, Anna,_ Elsa thought._ Before I lose control. I have to go to my room and find some gloves._

"I'll make it quick. I just wanted to tell you that you did _nothing_ wrong. You did _not_ deserve to get sent down there, Elsa," Anna said all in a rush.

"I…didn't?" Elsa asked, sounding as if she weren't sure herself. _Yes you did. You risked hurting Anna by letting her hug you._

"No, Elsa, you most definitely did not. You need somebody to be your friend, no matter what. And I'm gonna be that friend for you. Forever and always."

Elsa's eyes welled with tears, and she took off up the stairs as fast as she could go, hoping she wasn't leaving icy footprints behind her. _Conceal, don't feel. Emotions on lockdown. Control it, Elsa! At least till you get in your room._ Elsa darted into her room, shut the door, and immediately iced it shut. _Anna…Anna…she said she was _my_ friend. _My_ friend! Why didn't I even just tell her thank you before I ran off? _She scrambled to find a pair of gloves in her dresser, her bare fingertips icing every surface she touched. _Elsa, stop it! You're making a mess!_ "I know! I didn't do it on purpose!" Elsa finally found what she was looking for, and yanked the gloves on her hands; then promptly took the one on the hand with the blister off again. _Ouch. That hurt. What am I supposed to do now?_ She flopped on her bed, holding her bare hand to her chest in an effort to keep from making another icy mess. _I thought I was sick of this room, but now I'm happy to be back in here after being in the dungeon half a day and all night. At least I'm not chained up in here, and I have books to read, and I can draw blueprints if I want to. The only thing missing is Anna…_

* * *

Anna stood at the bottom of the stairs, wondering what she could have possibly said to Elsa that made her run off like that. "Gerda, what'd I say wrong? I just told Elsa I was always gonna be her friend…and she ran away!"

"You didn't say anything wrong, princess. She's just overwhelmed. You have to remember Princess Elsa just spent an entire night chained in the dungeon. Then you come along and tell her you'll always be her friend. How would you feel if you were in your sister's place?"

Anna balled her hands into angry fists. "I would've made a huge fuss and screamed and yelled all night. You'd have to knock me out before I'd go down there! And just say I _did_ get locked down there somehow…you can be sure I'd make it crystal clear that it was _stupid_ and_ unfair_ and _ridiculous_!"

Gerda sighed. "All right, Princess Anna, that might be what you would do, but you and your sister aren't the same person. She isn't going to react the same way you do…"

"You mean because Elsa's…hurting inside? Is that why she didn't make a fuss about going down there?" Anna asked. _Elsa needs someone to help her…and she feels like she can't let anyone do so. What am I supposed to do?!_ "Gerda…is Elsa depressed?" Something told Anna that her sister most definitely was, but she was still hoping her hunch was wrong.

"Princess Anna, I am not a doctor, but I would have to say yes. She's-"

"Then I'm gonna help her," Anna interrupted. _I just don't know how. _"And Gerda, she calls herself rotten names! Why does Elsa do that? _I_ think it's 'cause she's gotten brainwashed! I mean, what is she supposed to think when people who are supposed to love and take care of her go and chain her in the dungeon all night?! I want to help Elsa, but I don't know how!"

"Princess, just keep letting her know that you're there for her. That's all you can do right now."

Anna bit her lip, thinking. "Do you think Elsa might like it if I sang a song in front of her door at night before I go to bed myself?"

"Maybe you should stick with pushing notes under her door. You're apt to get yourself in trouble if you do much else…"

"All righty…I'm on a mission now! And it's called Operation Make Elsa Happy." Anna took off up the stairs and paused in front of Elsa's door.

* * *

Inside her room, Elsa still just lay sprawled flat on her bed, clutching her bare hand to her chest and staring blankly at the ceiling. Elsa was just realizing that she was hungry when she heard Anna's signature knock on the door.

"Don't answer, Elsa, 'cause I don't want you to get in trouble again. I know you're depressed, and I'm gonna help. I love you, Elsa." Then Anna's footsteps faded away down the hall, and Elsa was left feeling slightly happier but also rather puzzled. _Did I really just hear Anna tell me _not_ to answer her? Usually she talks and talks for ages, and tries to get me to reply. She sounds…different, somehow. Determined or something._ Elsa pulled an apple out of her stash of food and started eating it as she continued mulling over what Anna had said to her.

* * *

That afternoon, Anna paused in front of Elsa's door again, making sure no one was around to see her. Then she knocked again.

Elsa smiled on the other side of the door. _It's Anna again…just please don't start asking me to reply again. I can't._

"I love you, Elsa. I'll be out here for you whenever you're ready. Bye, Elsa." Anna continued on her way downstairs without saying anything more.

_Anna, I…I don't know what to say. I don't know what you're doing, but it sure is nice to hear your voice without being asked to reply, since I can't do that,_ Elsa thought. _Someday I _will_ be able to repay you for being so nice to me. Someday. It might be years and years or not even here on this earth, but I _will_ repay you. You deserve it._

_**A/N: Next chapter coming soon:)**_


	21. Storm Sense Isn't Always a Good Thing

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Is the 'strong emotion' thing a good thing? I don't want to be melodramatic...:P Anyway...yeah, if I was Elsa, I'd freeze Agdar's butt or his feet tooXD**

**Angela3000-Yay!:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-I agree. Anna is DEFINITELY underestimated.:)**

**ElsaIsAmazing-You are quite welcome!:) I'm glad you liked the way it came out. (Turns out your idea was double good because it moved the plot along for this chapter very nicely;)) Argh, I don't want to make my readers cry...then again, I guess it's good I made you feel bad for Elsa and Anna.:/ Thank you:)**

**olaf99-I know; I never expected to get this many reviews!:) (I wasn't sure how unique my plot line was...:P) Cool! Thank you:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Definitely a jerk:/ Yeah, Anna is awesome:)**

**On to the story!:) (I do apologize to everyone who can't wait for the shipwreck at sea, but this chapter got way too long as it is.:P So...that's in the next chapter. Promise.:))**

As summer turned into fall and then winter, Anna continued knocking on Elsa's door and just saying a few sentences before walking away. "You aren't worthless, Elsa. You're worth more than…um, I dunno, ohh, I know, all the gold in the world! Yeah! You're my super awesome sister and I love you. Bye, Elsa," Anna said one cold day in December before Christmas.

Elsa smiled and let out a small giggle on the other side of the door. _Well, I don't believe you, but that sure was funny, Anna._

Anna stopped in her tracks in the hall. Had she just heard Elsa giggle from inside her room? She considered going back and talking to Elsa some more to see if she would reply, but decided against it. _I'm sticking with my plan. And that means I don't try to make Elsa talk and end up making her feel bad for not replying._ Anna forced herself to continue down the hall. _Still, I made her giggle, at least for a minute. That means my plan's finally starting to work! Yay! And that's the first audible reaction I've gotten out of her, too._

* * *

Elsa still hadn't quite figured out what Anna was up to, even though it had been several months since the hurricane now. But the New Anna that would simply just say a short something to her without trying to get her to reply was a welcome change. Elsa had hated listening to Anna talking to her and asking her questions and trying to get her to participate in a conversation. It made her feel horrible inside because she was ignoring Anna, who had _never_ done anything to Elsa to make her ignore Anna. _What Anna's doing now, how she just 'drops a line' without expecting a reply, actually makes me feel a bit happier. The only thing is…I _should_ be replying to her. She deserves it…_

* * *

On Anna's birthday a few days later, Elsa reread the letter she'd written for Anna. _"Dear Anna, I have no idea what exactly you're up to, but I really, really appreciate you talking to me without trying to get me to answer_..._it makes me a bit happier than I would be otherwise. You're awesome. Remember how you told me I was worth more than all the gold in the world a few days ago? You're wrong. _YOU'RE _the one who's worth more than all the gold in the world, not me. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, but I can't. Promise me you'll never be anything but yourself, okay? Because just plain you is amazing. Happy birthday, Princess Anna of Arendelle…You're fourteen now! Your very grateful sister, Elsa." _She waited until she was sure Anna would be awake and out of her room. Then she slipped into the secret passages holding the letter, and quickly made her way to Anna's room. Elsa pressed her ear to the secret entrance into her sister's room, just in case, before darting inside and leaving the letter under her sister's pillow. Elsa slipped back into the secret passages and went back to her own room. _I can't wait till Anna gets it. That's _my _present to her, although it's more of a thank-you than anything else._

* * *

When Anna found Elsa's letter that night when she climbed into bed, she squealed in delight. _"I finally got a reply from Elsa!"_ she whisper-screamed happily. Anna's mission was starting to shape up nicely. Elsa must be happier or she wouldn't have replied. It crossed Anna's mind that it was awfully odd how Elsa's letter had mysteriously just appeared in her room, but she didn't care. Anna was just getting ready to read Elsa's letter when she heard a knock on her door. Anna froze for a moment before putting the letter inside her nightgown and diving under the covers. _There. Nothing suspicious here…uh-uh!_ "Who is it?"

"What on earth were you squealing about?" Anna heard her father ask.

"Uh…I tripped and almost fell," Anna fibbed. She was _not_ getting Elsa in trouble again. Not after what happened last time. _Poor Elsa got sent to the dungeon last time. That is NOT happening again. Just…no. _She'd lie forever and a day if it got her sister off the hook.

"Are you all right?"

"Yep, perfectly fine." Anna let out an overdone yawn. "I'm _reaallly _sleepy…g'night…" Anna sighed in relief when the footsteps faded away down the hall. Then Anna hopped out of bed, locked her door, and finally, _finally_ opened her sister's letter. Anna had been extremely happy that Elsa had given her something; but now as she actually read what her sister had written, she started frowning. _I haven't helped Elsa at all. She still thinks she's not worth talking to…at least she says she's a bit happier anyways…_ "Thanks for sending me a reply anyhow, Elsa," Anna whispered. "I _will_ keep talking to you. I _will_ make you happy. And nothing can stop me."

* * *

Anna soon discovered, though, that there _was_ something that could stop her. She got caught talking to Elsa in the hall one day in January, which was made all the more ironic because although Anna didn't know it, Elsa wasn't even in her room at that moment. She was somewhere in the secret passages. Anna managed to get Elsa off the hook by saying that Elsa had not said one word to her in reply, but Anna's mission was ruined. It seemed like there was _always_ someone following her around the castle now, and she didn't dare try talking to Elsa again because was somehow a hundred percent certain that Elsa would be the one blamed next time.

* * *

With no explanation for why Anna didn't say anything to her anymore, Elsa just figured that Anna had given up on her. Elsa grew less and less hopeful that Anna's silence was a temporary thing as the weeks went by. By springtime, Elsa had reconciled herself to the knowledge that Anna must have moved on. _You can't be upset, Elsa. She had been fussing with you for nine years. Anna should have moved on long time ago. She did what she should have done in the first place. _

"I still miss her," Elsa whispered. "She was the only one who didn't…treat me like…like something you just deal with because you can't throw it away."_ I didn't deserve someone like her in the first place. I'm dangerous and I hurt Anna. She _should_ ignore me…_ Still, Elsa's already pained heart was crushed that Anna had seemingly abandoned her. She wanted Anna back, even just her voice that floated into the room from out in the hall. _I can't lose my head. I still have future responsibilities to be the queen of Arendelle eventually. _That was the _only_ thing that kept her going now. Elsa had lost her one source of happiness, but she was determined not to dump her own responsibilities on Anna. _Anna told me over a year ago that she did not want to be queen of Arendelle. I will not leave her and dump those responsibilities on her. Maybe when I'm queen I can finally apologize to her, if she'll listen. That would be better than nothing, even if I can't fix everything to the way it was when we were little._ Elsa clung to that thought every time her mind drifted to something she would regret doing and be unable to take back.

* * *

For her part, Anna had no idea what to do anymore. _Elsa probably thinks I've abandoned her. If she was depressed before, what's she feeling like now? What if…no, I'm not gonna even consider that. Elsa wouldn't do that. She has more sense in her head than that, _Anna convinced herself.

* * *

By Elsa's eighteenth birthday, Elsa just plain didn't care what day it was. It didn't matter. She wasn't going to be queen for years and years, so what was the point in keeping track of the days at the moment? _I don't care. I hate life. I wish I could disappear. But I can't, and I won't. I'm still the crown princess. That means I have future responsibilities._

Elsa's 'storm sense' continued to become aggravatingly more acute. All summer, every time there was even a minor thunderstorm, Elsa became very antsy and jumpy. _I wish my powers would stop making me do that. I hate that feeling of an 'internal storm' swirling inside._ One September morning, Elsa woke up and somehow just _felt_ there was going to be a tornado later that day. _I have to warn someone!_ Elsa had an ice barrier against the door, so breaking the lock and getting out that way was out of the question. She'd have to use the secret passages. Elsa bit her lip before going anywhere. _What if no one believes me again? I might just get myself in trouble for nothing… Elsa, you're being selfish. You _have_ to give the warning. Tornadoes are destructive. _She took a deep breath and headed into the passages. _Where do I go?_ Deciding that since this was important business, the Great Hall would be best; she quickly headed in that direction, hoping her parents would either be there now or soon would be.

Elsa slipped into the Great Hall. There was no one there right now. _Of course. I always have rotten luck…now what? _Next course of action: her father's study. Surely he would be in there. Quiet as a cat, Elsa tiptoed through the castle, hoping she wouldn't meet anyone on the way. She didn't. Elsa lightly knocked on the door to her father's study and waited for a reply.

"Who is it?"

Elsa sighed in relief. _Thank goodness._ "It's Princess Elsa."

Now the door opened, and Agdar asked, "What are you doing here, Elsa? Did you break the lock again?"

"No, I did not." Elsa clasped her hands behind her back and said calmly, "I know I am not supposed to be here, but there is a tornado coming later today." _Please believe me…please, please, please…_

"I thought your powers only consisted of things relating to cold."

Elsa sighed. _I knew it. Now I'm going to be in trouble. _"Evidently they don't. Please believe me! I _know_ there's a tornado coming. I can feel it…"

"Did you make this so-called tornado? Are you controlling it somehow?"

Elsa was horrified. _Dad actually looks genuinely frightened. Oh no…I think he really, honestly believes I'm doing it. _"_NO!_ How could you think I'd send a destructive thing like that into Arendelle?!"

"Then how else are you predicting it?"

"I don't know! I have no idea why my powers do _anything_! I'm just trying to help and give the warning!" Elsa replied, trying to remain calm. _Conceal, don't feel. Emotions on lockdown._

"I think we need to make a trip downstairs…maybe then you won't go through with this…"

"Euphemism alert," Elsa responded through clenched teeth. _What have I done? Nothing but gotten myself in trouble._ "Fine. But you _have_ to believe me! Please! Even if you don't, couldn't you just take some precautions anyhow? Please?" Elsa didn't know what else she could do. She followed her father 'downstairs', her head held high, blinking back tears. _I never do the right thing._

As she had done the last time she was down here, Elsa stepped into the cell without a word. She paused for a moment before turning back and saying quietly, "I'll stay here. I won't make a fuss. I won't try to get out. But you are _not_ putting those…things on me again." _I'm not going to say nothing this time. It's not fair._

"How else are we going to make sure you don't go through with the tornado?"

Elsa thought this over for a moment. _Well, if those horrid things are on me, and Dad thinks I can't do anything with them on-which is true; then he'll know when the tornado comes anyway that I didn't do it. _"Okay." She looked away, but she didn't move away or otherwise protest. _Get out of here. Just get out of here and leave me alone._ The second the door closed and locked, Elsa realized she had forgotten to ask one very important question. _I have no idea how long I'm going to be left down here._ Elsa knew from her previous experience that it was pointless to try to get those shackles off her, so she didn't even bother trying. She leaned against the wall and tried to zone out, but she still felt too agitated because of the incoming tornado. _I feel like I'm going to throw up. I am NOT doing that in here. Disgusting alert! _Trying to take her mind off her upset stomach, Elsa paced back and forth as far as the chains would let her. Soon, she grew tired of that and just stared out the latticed window at the fast-darkening sky over the fjord. _Come on, tornado, hurry up and get here. That's my ticket for getting out of here._

* * *

A few minutes later, rain began pouring down. Lightning flashed and thunder crashed loudly. A shiver of unexplainable excitement ran through the eighteen-year-old girl standing in front of the window in the dungeon. Upstairs in the castle, the king and queen of Arendelle briefly wondered if their oldest daughter had perhaps been right. But she had said _tornado_, and no tornado was here. The younger princess of Arendelle just wanted to know what her sister was doing, and wondered if she'd predicted this storm as she had with the blizzard and most likely that hurricane.

* * *

Back in the dungeon, Elsa still stood gazing out the window. What was that she saw out in the fjord? _I'm right! I'm right! There's a waterspout out there! If it hits land, it would be called a tornado! Wait, why am I _excited_ about this?! Tornadoes are destructive!_ Elsa looked hopefully out the window. _Come on, just stay out in the fjord, waterspout. And Dad, Mom, PLEASE go look out a window! Then nothing and nobody will get hurt, and Dad will know I didn't make the tornado, since I'm stuck chained up down here._ She bit her lip as the swirling vortex moved closer towards land. _No, don't hit land. Please don't…_ Elsa was very hesitant to attempt to do anything to alter the course of the storm. She probably couldn't even do that anyway, especially with her hands shackled. Plus she might just end up destroying everything. Still…Elsa would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try. So she closed her eyes and tried to really, genuinely _feel_ her 'connection' to the storm. _Move away from Arendelle. Move away. Please…_ Elsa blinked her eyes open just in time to see the twister literally eat up an entire ship floating in the fjord. _Did I make it do that?!_ Elsa had absolutely no idea, but she wasn't going to take any more chances. She shrank back against the wall and curled into a ball. That storm was _only_ going to destroy things naturally if she could help it. Not because of her. _Just get away from here and move away from Arendelle, stupid storm. Please._

To Elsa's surprise, the twister spit out that ship a few feet from where it had disappeared and started moving away from land before dissolving into nothing far, far from shore. _Did I do that, or did it do it on its own?_ The more she watched this storm, the more confused she became. She knew tornadoes could change directions seemingly at random, and that they could sometimes pick up things and drop them again. But it was still weird. Elsa decided that she must not have meddled with the storm at all. _I don't have nearly enough control to make a natural storm do what I want it to. Besides…interfering with the natural course of nature…that's almost creepy. I can't do that. I shouldn't do that anyway, even if I could control it._

An hour later, the storm had dissipated, leaving the sky still looking droopy and gray. But the rain had stopped. Elsa was glad the tornado hadn't made a direct hit on Arendelle, but now she was growing worried that no one would come let her out. The minutes slowly ticked by. _I'm not going to just get left down here, am I? What am I going to do?_ Elsa wiggled her cramped fingers as much as she could. She wanted those things _off_. Why had she agreed to this, _again_? Yes, she'd been trying to be logical, but she still didn't have any way of getting out of here. And now the tornado and its adjoining thunderstorm(s) had passed; and here she was, still locked down here. Elsa plopped down on the bench against the wall and absentmindedly kicked at the chains. Rattle went the links in the chain. Clunk it went against the stone floor. Rattle, clunk. Rattle, clunk. _Annoying noise._ Elsa stopped kicking and wondered what to do next. She could yell for someone to come get her, but she was _not_ going to beg to be let out. _I'm not begging. I'm NOT breaking down._ Elsa was actually angry this time. All she had done was give a warning, for goodness sakes. And not only did her father not believe her, he thought _she_ was making the storm herself. _The only thing is…I think Dad really, genuinely believed I was doing it. He was _scared_. If I had been doing it, I would completely understand that; but I DIDN'T DO IT. Why didn't he believe me?_

By late afternoon, Elsa's anger had disappeared, leaving her feeling depressed and miserable. What if no one ever came? Would she have to stay down here forever? _The storm is long over. Why hasn't anyone come? Why? And I want Anna back. Even just hearing her talk to me through the door would make me happy._

* * *

Anna darted down the hall to her father's study for the second time that afternoon. _Dad's been acting really weird since this morning. Like…nervous, but something else too; I don't know what it is. And I think it's got something to do with Elsa._ "Dad, where is Elsa?" she asked the second she ran into the study.

"Why do you ask that all of a sudden?"

"Why don't you tell me where she is?" Anna's eyes fell on the large ring of keys lying on her father's desk. _Wait a sec…I bet Elsa's in the dungeon again. Dad never carries those keys around._ Anna pulled her eyes away from the keys in order to avoid suspicion. _I'm getting Elsa out myself this time. I just gotta get those keys._ Anna started to form a plan in her mind. She'd go down to the dungeon that night and let Elsa out herself. And if Elsa wasn't there, then ok. But if she was, then Anna would be able to help. _And I can tell Elsa why I've been ignoring her._

Anna edged her way out of the study and ran back to her own room. _I gotta help Elsa. I have to._

There was one caveat to her plan. She needed those keys! So Anna hung around the study all afternoon. When she saw her father put the keys in the back of a drawer and shut it, Anna was quite pleased. Now she knew where to get the keys that night. Anna tiptoed away down the hall.

* * *

Late that night-or rather, early the next morning around four AM, Anna hopped out of bed and tiptoed down the hall to her father's study. She'd kept her regular dress on so that if she got caught, she could just claim she hadn't gone to bed yet. _It's a lousy excuse, but better than nothing._ Anna eased the door to the study open and ran over to the desk. She opened the drawer she'd seen her dad put those keys in and felt around in the back of the drawer. _Awesome. I've got 'em._ Next she fumbled to light a candle before heading down the hall and downstairs. Anna found the door leading down to the dungeon and paused before pulling it open. _I'm going down there for Elsa. This is no time to turn chicken. My sister needs help._ Anna tiptoed down the stairs down to the main corridor of the dungeon before starting to whisper her sister's name. "Elsa? If you're down here, please answer. Elsa?"

Anna heard muffled crying from somewhere farther down the corridor and jumped for a moment before realizing that _had_ to be Elsa. _I knew Elsa was down here! Now I just gotta find her._ She followed her ears toward the sound. Anna finally stopped in front of the right cell. "Elsa? It's me, Anna."

On the other side of the door, Elsa struggled to stop crying. _Did I really hear Anna's voice? I must be going crazy, imagining things that aren't even there. Anna wouldn't come down here. She doesn't even know I'm here._ "I have to be just hearing things," Elsa whispered.

Anna tried several different keys in the lock before finally finding the right one. "Elsa, you aren't just hearing things. I came down here to let you out," she said as she stepped inside the doorway. Anna realized that it was downright _freezing_ down here, and worried Elsa might be cold too until she remembered her sister was immune to such things. _I'm not gonna say I'm cold…Elsa'll probably start worrying about me or something._

Elsa just stared at her sister. "I th-thought you…gave up on m-me," she stammered. _Wait…Anna didn't give up on me. She was being prevented from knocking or anything. That's what happened. It figures… _Elsa looked down at the floor as tears of relief trickled down her cheeks. "Anna…I missed hearing your voice _so_ much…"

Anna frowned. _I thought Elsa might be mad at me that I'd been ignoring her, but she just _missed_ me?_ "I thought you might be mad at me."

Elsa turned her gaze toward her sister. _Why in the world would I be mad at her? _"I have no reason to be mad at you. You have full reason to not bother with me anymore."

_Elsa doesn't look mad…she just looks sad and tired…_ "Elsa, please. You are NOT a bother. And let me take those horrid old things off you. Why are you down here anyway? Has it got anything to do with the storm earlier?"

Elsa nodded as Anna started trying to find the right key to unlock the shackles. _Wait…with my hands chained up, my powers actually are unable to hurt Anna…I can't even freeze the shackles off. So…_ "Anna, wait a second…can I have a hug? Please? I mean, if you don't want to, that's okay, but…"

Anna stared at Elsa in surprise. _I thought she didn't want anyone hugging her because of the 'it's not safe' thing. But whatever! _"Of course you can, Elsa. Just lemme get these stupid things off first." Anna couldn't stand seeing her sister's hands chained up any longer.

Elsa immediately moved away from Anna. "No! It's…I…um…oh, I can't explain…just Anna, _please_ can I have my hug first? Please?" _Anna must think I'm crazy…_

Anna quickly obliged her sister's request. Elsa all but collapsed into Anna's arms. "I'm so sorry, Anna…I can't help it…I don't want to do this anymore…I can't…"

_She what?! What did Elsa just say?_ Anna held her shaking sister close and didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Elsa, promise me you won't…leave me. And if I'm not talking to you, it's because I'm trying to keep us from getting in trouble, ok?" _I knew Elsa had to be getting awful thoughts in her head, and sure enough…_

Elsa flinched. _Anna knows the rotten thoughts I've had and she hasn't even seen me… _"I won't. I promise." Elsa's voice sounded a bit faint, but she also sounded determined. Anna knew her sister was telling her the truth. Elsa hesitantly lifted her own arms and hugged Anna back. _I'm giving Anna a hug. And I'm safe for her to be around right now. I'm so happy. _"I'm so happy right now, Anna…" Right that second, it didn't matter to Elsa that she'd been locked down here unfairly; that her hands were sore; that she had ice powers she couldn't control; or that she was so, so _tired_ of everything. She was with Anna _safely_ for now, and that was all that mattered.

Anna frowned when she felt the cold metal that bound her sister's hands against her back. _How can she be happy right now? Elsa's still all chained up and she says she's happy…What's wrong with her? I wish I knew exactly what was bothering Elsa._ "And Elsa? About the storm…did you predict it like with the blizzard?"

Elsa nodded and mumbled 'yes' into her sister's shoulder.

"Cool! So you've got like 'storm sense'?" Anna asked.

"No, it isn't. That's what landed me down here," Elsa said quietly. _And that Dad thought I was making the storm…_

"That's stupid. I think it's awesome! Maybe you shouldn't give storm warnings anymore," Anna suggested. "I mean, if nobody's going to believe you anyway, what's the point?"

_That's true._ "Thank you, Anna. I guess you're right." _I'm so glad Anna came down here, _Elsa thought.

"Of course I'm right. Elsa, can you please let me take those shackles offa you now? I hate seeing you like that."

"But then I can't let you get near me anymore," Elsa said, frowning as she glanced down at her shackled hands.

"What?! That's silly, Elsa. You just let me hug you, and you hugged me back for goodness sakes! Have you got poison ivy on your hands or something?" Anna asked, only half-joking.

Elsa giggled. "How would I have gotten poison ivy _indoors_?! That's totally illogical!" The prospect was so ludicrous to Elsa it was hilarious. She wished poison ivy _was_ the problem. That went away after a while.

Anna still didn't understand, but she didn't press the issue further. She had made Elsa laugh, and she seemed to be happy; so that was Mission Accomplished. And besides, she had to get Elsa out of there soon, or they were going to get caught. "Elsa, I REALLY don't want to cut off our conversation, but if I'm gonna get you out of here, we need to leave as soon as possible."

Elsa looked disappointed for a moment, but then she smiled. "You're awesome, Anna; you know that?" _Anna's really going to get me out of here._

Anna tossed her head and flipped her pigtail braids. "Of _course_ I'm awesome! And so are you! I'm the…ooh, I know, Stealth Princess, and you can be the Storm Princess! Yeah!"

Elsa was still giggling as Anna finally figured out which key unlocked the shackles. She stepped back a few feet from Anna the second her hands were free, but she was still smiling. "Thank you, Anna."

"You're very, very welcome," Anna told her. She wanted to give Elsa a hug again, but Elsa seemed happy at the moment, even if she suddenly didn't want to be touched again; so Anna didn't try. "Let's use our special spy-stealth-ninja powers to sneak back upstairs!"

Elsa grinned, and the two girls tiptoed quiet as mice back up to the main first floor of the castle. Anna made sure not to invade Elsa's space, which Elsa quickly realized and greatly appreciated. _One issue…how am I going to get back into my room? Oh wait, Anna has the keys! Except, I think there's an ice barrier on my door. There is no way it's melted already…_

* * *

When they reached Elsa's room, Elsa immediately asked Anna for the keys. "Elsa, does your door lock on the outside?" Anna hissed, starting to ball her hands into angry fists.

"Mmhmm…don't worry about me, Anna…" Elsa tried to blow it off. "Confidentially, I know how to pick locks," she whispered.

Anna snickered. "I _knew_ you still had that mischievous streak of yours!"

Elsa found the key that opened her door and took a deep breath before attempting to push it open. To her surprise, it opened easily. "I just don't exercise it very often," she said, giving Anna a lopsided smile. "Thank you _so, so _much for everything you've done for me. Goodbye, Anna." Elsa gave the keys back to Anna, disappeared into her room and shut the door. _My ice barrier is gone?! _The ice barrier had mysteriously disappeared entirely, aside from a puddle of water on the floor. _That's odd…I know it couldn't have melted that quickly…_

To Anna's surprise, she heard her own signature knock from Elsa on the other side of the door. _That's a special message from Elsa. _She did the same knock in reply before heading off to her own room with a bounce in her steps.

* * *

Elsa happily put on her nightgown and climbed into bed. _I've got Anna back! Well, sort of…in any event, she didn't just give up on me. That's enough for me._ Elsa fell asleep smiling. No bad dreams bothered her that night.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Anna was all smiles. She figured she was going to be asked where Elsa was, but she didn't care. Anna had successfully gotten her sister out from the dungeon, and she didn't care one bit that she'd probably get in trouble for letting Elsa out. _Elsa shouldn't have been down there in the first place. I mean, seriously, what's the big deal about her 'storm sense' thing? It's actually helpful anyways…_

Sure enough, Agdar asked, "Did you have anything to do with your sister yesterday? Because she wasn't-"

"In the dungeon this morning?" Anna interrupted.

"What did you do with her?"

"I let her out," Anna said simply. Then she shoveled the rest of her pancakes in her mouth, gulped her milk; then stood up from the table. "Excuse me, please." Anna was just getting ready to leave the dining hall when her father stopped her.

"Anna, that wasn't any of your business."

Anna just stared. "On the contrary, it was _definitely_ my business! Why did you put Elsa down there for giving a warning about a tornado?! She was trying to be helpful!"

"Just what exactly did she tell you?"

"I asked Elsa if she'd predicted the tornado like she had with that blizzard. My sister, whose name happens to be _Elsa_, said yes; I said that was super cool; and then she said no, she'd been put down there for it! That is so STUPID." _Not to mention, you've made Elsa beyond depressed, _Anna added in her thoughts. _I gotta tell him what Elsa was thinking about; maybe that'll shock some sense into him. But I have to figure out exactly how._

"There was no tornado yesterday, Anna. Your sister was wrong."

"No she wasn't. I saw a twister out over the fjord. It didn't hit land. You prob'ly didn't see it, I guess," Anna said. She turned and began walking out of the dining hall.

"Don't have any contact with Elsa."

Anna just kept walking. _You wish. I WILL find a way to talk to her. At least if I can't, Elsa knows why now though._

* * *

Back upstairs in her room an hour later, Elsa heard Anna's footsteps out in the hall. Then she heard an "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" and a crash against her door. Then a note appeared under her door. Elsa held back a giggle as she ran to pick the note up. _Anna must have pretended to fall so she could flick the note under my door. Ingenious._ Wondering what she could do to reply without being suspicious, Elsa glanced around her room. Pretending to fall probably wasn't particularly a good idea, but she wasn't sure what else to do. So she knocked a chair over and let out an "Ow!"

Suddenly there was dead silence out in the hall. Then Elsa heard Anna say, "Something's the matter with Elsa! I heard her say 'ow' about something!" _Oops. That wasn't the reaction I was going for, _Elsa thought. She quickly ran over to the door and did Anna's special signature knock. _Wait, I shouldn't have done that…_

Anna heard Elsa's code reply and immediately realized her sister had just been trying to give her subtle message. _Elsa knows I was pretending to fall! That's what it is. Cool!_

* * *

Later that afternoon, Elsa heard another knock on her door, but this one wasn't one she wanted to hear. _It's either Mom or Dad or both. What if they want to make me go back to the dungeon? _She was just thinking that maybe she had better put an ice barrier back on her door when the door opened. Elsa moved back towards the opposite wall. _Please don't…please…I hope it's something else entirely…_

To Elsa's great relief, that was _not_ the reason. "Elsa, we have to go on a trip for two weeks. We leave tomorrow. You will have to take on the responsibility of being queen regent for that time. Kai will help you."

A seemingly endless stream of thoughts ran through Elsa's mind. _I can't be queen regent, even for just two weeks! I'm only eighteen! At least Mom and Dad trust me to do that. That's a good thing. Wait, if they're gone, then Anna can talk to me during that time. Awesome! But what if someone wants me to open the gates while they're gone? I can't do that. I can't have anyone see me. What if I mess up? It doesn't matter; Anna will be able to talk to me. IT DOES TOO MATTER IF I MESS UP! What if I lose control or something? _Finally, Elsa answered, "What exactly is the trip for?"

"We think we may have found a way to cure you of the ice problem. There is also important business to take care of in Weselton."

Elsa frowned. _I really, really don't think there's any way to cure me. And Weselton? That place is trouble. I still think the duke tries to cheat Arendelle for his own personal gain…_ "Okay. I will do my best to take care of Arendelle. Is there anything specific I will have to do?"

"No. There actually is nothing specific at all to do at the moment, but should something come up politics-wise or letter-wise, you'll have to take care of it. That's all."

Elsa smiled. _I can do that. Writing I can do. I don't really care for it, but I'm capable of that. _"I can handle that."

That evening, Elsa not-very-sorry-in-the-least excitement had completely faded. She could feel that there was yet another storm coming, and would arrive in Arendelle within a few days. Closing her eyes, Elsa tried to feel her faint 'connection' with the faraway storm. Elsa blinked her eyes open in horror a second later. _That storm is right in the path Mom and Dad have to go! What do I do?!_ Anna had suggested she not bother trying to give storm warnings anymore, but wasn't it wrong to let her parents leave on a trip right into the path of a storm? _They won't believe me anyway…and I can't deal with staying in the dungeon for two weeks, which is probably what would happen. Except I'm supposed to be in charge of Arendelle while they're gone…I don't know what to do. I don't know. Wait…maybe I can try asking them not to go without saying anything about the storm._

* * *

Early the next morning, Anna ran down the hall, pausing in front of Elsa's room but not saying anything. She frowned for a moment, but then remembered she'd be able to talk to Elsa every day for the next two weeks. She wasn't going to mess that up by talking to her now. _I'll talk to Elsa the SECOND Mom and Dad leave. That should make her happy._ Anna ran into her parents' room. "See you in two weeks!" Anna paused for a moment before adding, "Mom, Dad, can I please tell you something about Elsa? It's really important…"

"Make it quick…"

Anna was trying to go for shock value, so she started to say, "Elsa has considered s-s-" _I can't even say the word…_ She noticed her parents looked appropriately shocked (_Thank goodness,_ Anna noted), so she added, "She promised she wouldn't, but I'm still super worried about her…"

"Anna, we'll talk to her when we get back. Your sister is responsible for Arendelle while we are gone. You said she's promised not to, so let's not put the idea back in her head when she's supposed to have important responsibilities."

Anna grinned. _I'm getting a little somewhere, _finally_! It took something way too extreme to grab their attention, but it finally worked. Awesome. Maybe I'll at least be allowed to talk to Elsa now._ "Ok. Thanks, Mom; thanks, Dad." Anna was so pleased she jumped in her parents' arms and gave them a hug. _I'm still really, really mad at them for what they've done to Elsa, but maybe we'll be getting some things fixed now._

* * *

Elsa stood at the bottom of the castle staircase to see her parents off. She still wasn't sure what to do about the storm. She didn't even know how severe the storm would be; it was still too far away for her to determine. _Maybe it's just a minor storm system working its way to Arendelle. In that case, Mom and Dad should be fine anyway. _Elsa dropped a polite curtsy when her parents came down the stairs. "Do you _have _to go?"

"You'll be fine, Elsa."

_But I don't know if you will be or not…_ "Could you maybe postpone the trip for a while?" Elsa asked hopefully.

"No…there are scheduled meetings and it is too late to cancel them."

Elsa bit her lip. _What else can I say that would be convincing but not mention that storm?_ Elsa was still mulling it over when Anna came up behind her a few minutes later.

"I get to talk to you for two whole weeks now!" Anna said excitedly.

Elsa moved a few feet away from Anna and asked, "You mean they're gone already?!" _I've lost my chance. I can only hope that storm is a nothing…_

"Uh-huh. I think you were zoned out when they left. Want to have breakfast together?"

Elsa frowned. "Don't you think that's a little rude on my part? Like, 'Ooh, the parents are gone, so let's break the rules!' type thing?" _I do want to, though…if I feel like I'm losing control, I can always run back up to my room._

Anna just grinned at her. "Well, yeah. But who's gonna make you do anything? Mom and Dad told me you're in charge while they're gone. So you can do whatever you want!"

"I can?" Elsa glanced down at her hands, those dangerous hands of hers, and then back at Anna. _Maybe I can…just for now. As long as I stay away from her, I should be fine._ "Will you promise not to touch me and stay away from me?" she asked.

"Sure. We can sit on opposite ends of the table if you want. Whatever is fine with me," Anna assured her. _And loads better than Elsa being physically locked in her room._ "Come on."

Elsa gave her sister a small smile, and the two girls headed off to the dining hall together. _Not hand in hand like when we were little, but still together all the same. Thank you, Anna._

**_A/N: So...Anna managed to catch their parents' attention finally, but we all know what's going to happen. You're just a bit late, Anna.:/ _**

**_Next chapter coming soon:)_**


	22. Two Weeks of Freedom

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Guest-Lol, you aren't the only one who's excited for their parents to die:P;)**

**Lindstrom-I think Anna's loyalty is one of her best qualities.:)**

**Angela3000-We'll get some happy stuff in this chapter, actually. (Not ALL of it, but some:))**

**Guest321-I think the depressing stuff is probably mostly actually in the next chapter instead of this one...I say MOSTLY, not 'not at all'.:P P.S. Why, thank you!:)**

**Fatten Saad-Lol, very funnyXD ****Yes, quite well.;)******

**Guest-VERY expensive two-week freedom for Elsa...**

**bananas-rule-2015-There's some happy stuff in this chapter!:) I don't mind the caps lock;)**

**Guest-I think that's the consensus-everybody hates Agdar:P**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yeah, Anna is going to be really confused...:/**

**olaf99-How could I skip those two weeks?! Of course they're in this chapter.:) Elsa and Anna need some happy events.;)**

**On to the story!:) (Ok, I know I promised the shipwreck was in this chapter, and it _kinda_ is [we as the readers will know it's happened], but Elsa and Anna aren't going to find out till next chapter. So...hopefully nobody's mad.:P)**

Elsa and Anna happily sat down on opposite ends of the table. All Elsa could think was that this was her first time eating a meal in the dining hall since she was eight. _Ten years. A decade. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this, but…I can't say I'm exactly sorry for doing it, either. _She smiled at Anna and said, "It's been a _decade_ since I've done this. Thank you for inviting me, Anna."

Anna resisted the urge to frown. _Elsa is so excited about simply HAVING A MEAL IN THE DINING HALL. That is ridiculous. This is what she should have been doing all along. _"You're welcome, Elsa, but you shouldn't thank me for something like this. It's just a meal."

Elsa's excited smile faded. _Yes, I should thank you. You actually invited _me_ to do something with you without trying to get me to do something I'm not comfortable with. _"It might be just a meal for you, but it's a big deal for me. I'm used to eating alone in my room…"

Now Anna felt like smacking herself. _Just a meal, indeed. That was a stupid thing for me to say. Elsa's 'normal' isn't the way it should be. Of course she's going to get excited about simple things._

"Anna, why are you frowning?" Elsa asked. "Did I say something wrong?" _Maybe Anna thought I was being annoying or something, making a big deal over something simple._

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Did you say something wrong?!" Anna pushed away from the table and jumped out of her seat.

Elsa flinched at Anna's shouting. _Big oops…what faux pas did I commit now?_ "I'm sorry, Anna, really! I won't say anything else stupid."

Anna started to run towards Elsa to give her a hug; then remembered her sister didn't like being touched and sat back down. "Elsa, stop it. You did _nothing_ wrong. It just made me upset that you were all excited over something as simple as eating a meal in the dining hall, that's all."

Elsa gave a relieved sigh. "Oh. I'm sorry." _Now that I'm really thinking about it, that IS really lame…_

"Quit apologizing for nothing," Anna scolded.

"I'll try." Elsa gave Anna a small smile, and the two of them finished eating their breakfast in a mostly happy silence.

* * *

After breakfast, Elsa was still debating whether she should go back to her room or not when Anna asked if Elsa wanted to go outside in the courtyard with her. _I can't do that. It'll be weird if I do that now and someone sees me; and then when Mom and Dad come back I don't do it anymore…_ "I better not," Elsa decided. _I really want to though. I haven't been outside in so long._

Anna didn't press the issue. Elsa wasn't hightailing it away from her, and that was more than she had been doing before. "D'you want to…ride bicycles together?"

"Anna, I can't go outside," Elsa said regretfully. "Plus I don't even know if I _can_ ride a bicycle…"_ I could when I was little, but I was a bit shaky and that was also ten years ago._

"You don't hafta go outside. We can just ride around the halls. Or down the stairs!"

Elsa's eyes grew big at the idea of riding a bicycle down the stairs. She remembered Anna convincing her to do that together when they were little, and they'd ended up taking a nasty tumble more than once. And Anna had continued wanting to do it anyway; she didn't care. Elsa remembered liking riding fast outdoors (albeit a bit shakily), but there was no steering a trip down the stairs. You just rode off out of control and hoped you stayed upright. Elsa hated bumping and hurtling out of control. _Yeah, I don't think so. I have enough control issues... _"Down the stairs?! I'd have thought you grew out of that by now. I am not riding a bicycle down the stairs."

"The hall, then?" Anna asked.

Elsa mulled that over for a minute. _You can't do that with your sister, Elsa. You'll have to be too close to her, and it won't be safe. _"I could just watch you," she offered.

Anna frowned. "I'm not gonna go ride a bike while you stand around by yourself. What do _you_ want to do, Elsa?" _So…Mom and Dad make her stay in her room, but she does choose to stay away physically her own self. Probably because of that stupid 'it's not safe' thing._ Anna decided to try to convince Elsa otherwise. "Y'know, Elsa, you aren't gonna hurt me if you get close. I know you like hugs, 'cause you ASKED me for one when I came down to find you. And even if you _did_ hurt me, I wouldn't be mad 'cause I'd know you didn't do it on purpose."

Elsa just pushed away from the table and ran from the room. She could feel herself starting to get upset again, and she was _not_ going to lose control in front of Anna. _But I did hurt you…when we were little! And I can't let you give me any more hugs, either. I just did that because I knew I was safe to be around right then because of those shackles. I can't very well explain that to Anna…it barely makes sense even to me!_ Elsa darted into her room and shut the door. A moment later, she heard Anna's signature knock on the door. "Anna, please go away! Just for now! I promise I'll come out later. Please?"

_What did I say to make her run off again?_ Anna paused outside Elsa's door. Elsa had told her to go away, but she also said she would come out later. Anna took this to mean that Elsa didn't really want her to go away at all, so she said, "I'm not leaving, Elsa. I'll sit right out here till you're ready to come out, all right?"

Elsa didn't answer, but she went to sit leaning against her door. _Thank you, Anna. _She pulled her knees to her chest, but not because she was upset this time. Just because she was comfortable sitting that way. _Anna is too understanding. She doesn't even know why I ran off. But she's still willing to stay with me. _Elsa smiled and finally just said, "Thank you, Anna."

"You are quite welcome, and you don't have to thank me. Elsa, are you sitting against the door? You sound really close by," Anna replied.

"Mmhmm…" _Just a few minutes longer by myself. I need to be completely calm if I'm going to come out and talk to Anna,_ Elsa thought.

"Are you ready to come out, Elsa?"

"Please just give me a few more minutes, Anna…please…and, um, the door's locked on your side," Elsa said. _Anna's going to have to open the door anyway. I don't think she'll barge in on me, though._

"You got it. Elsa…are the keys in Dad's desk in his study? I could find 'em while you finish…uh, whatever you're doing in there," Anna answered.

Elsa sighed. _I'm doing absolutely _nothing_ besides trying to calm myself down. _"They're in the back of a drawer in that desk, yes. It's the key that looks kinda like a snowflake." _Ironic, huh…oh, I'm not going to think about it._

"Ok. Be right back. I won't come in till you say I can, though, Elsa."

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade off down the hall. She finally felt calm enough that she wasn't about to let off ice any second, and she decided that was as calm as she was going to get. _Anna can open the door the minute she comes back._

* * *

When Elsa gave Anna permission to open the door a few minutes later, Anna immediately gave her sister a suggestion. "Why don't you switch the lock so it's on your side? That way you can come and go as you please without somebody having to let you out."

Elsa frowned. _If Mom and Dad come back and find out I did that, I'll be in big, big trouble…_

"You could always switch it back before Mom and Dad get back," Anna added, almost reading Elsa's exact thoughts.

_I could, but…that's kind of rude and disrespectful…_ "Don't you think that's a bit…underhanded and sneaky?" Elsa asked.

"Good grief, Elsa, WHY INSERTWORDI'MNOTGONNASAY DO YOU EVEN CARE?! Mom and Dad have been _rotten_ to you! Your door shouldn't lock on the outside anyway!" Anna exclaimed.

Elsa turned away, crossing her arms around her middle. _But I'm dangerous. I hurt Anna…I shouldn't even be leaving my room to spend time with Anna in the first place…_ "They're still my parents, Anna," she whispered. "Keeping you safe from…from me."

"Elsa…mistreating_ you_ does NOT keep _me_ safe. That's stupid. Even if you _were_ dangerous, which I still don't believe in the least, that's still just totally absurd," Anna said firmly. "C'mon, just switch the locks. We don't even have to tell Gerda or Kai about it. We can just take the lock off one of the guest rooms and exchange it with yours. Well, if we can figure out how to do that."

_Is it possible that Anna's right? I know I can't get close to Anna and everything, but…I shouldn't have been chained up in the dungeon. That was _not_ fair. Especially the second time regarding me predicting the tornado. I was trying to help. _Elsa began questioning her situation for one of the very few times in years. _And my door's lock should be on my side. That I know Anna is right on. _"I think I can switch the locks," Elsa said finally.

"Awesome! I'll go get the tools from downstairs. Do…do you want to come with me?" Anna asked. She knew Elsa was still questioning _anything_ and _everything_ about what she was doing, but at least Elsa was thinking and willing to talk, even if it was just a little.

"Y-yes?" Elsa said in a questioning tone. Then, in a stronger voice, "Yes. Yes, I do. Thank you, Anna." _I can walk downstairs with Anna. I can do that. I _can_ do that. No one is here to keep me from doing it, and I've got it under control at the moment._

Anna just smiled at her. "Let's go, then." She and Elsa started down the hall; Elsa trailing a few feet behind her. Anna turned back to wait for her sister to catch up.

Elsa quickly realized what Anna was doing. Waiting for her. Waiting for _her._ "Go on, Anna…you don't have to wait for me." _You shouldn't wait for me anyway…I still can't get too close…_

"No, I don't HAVE to. I WANT to, Elsa. You are not going to hurt me, Elsa, I know you won't. We're just going to go down the stairs together."

_But you don't know what's really wrong with me. _Elsa was still clasping her hands together in front of her, wondering what she should do, when Anna ran back to stand next to her. _What's Anna doing?_

"Elsa, I'm just gonna touch your shoulder." Anna noticed Elsa starting to say something and back away, and quickly added, "Wait, Elsa. If you still want me to move away from you after a couple seconds, that's ok. I'll move and I won't touch you any more unless you say I can."

Elsa stopped backing away and stared quizzically at her sister. _She's not going to try to jump all over me and hug me? That seems more of an Anna-ish thing to do. She's trying to…give me a bit of space. That's what Anna's doing._ Elsa flinched when she felt Anna's hand on her shoulder, but the only thing her mind registered was _Anna's touching me without me being sick or chained up AND I'M NOT HURTING HER!_ "Anna…Anna…you're touching me and I'm not hurting you! It happened! It really, really happened!" _After ten years, it happened…it really, truly happened! _Happy tears rolled down Elsa's face, but she didn't try to wipe them away. "Why am I crying?! I'm happy! Really! It's just…I don't know!"

"See? I told you it was ok, Elsa!" Anna smiled at her sister and squeezed her shoulder. "Is it all right to give you a hug?"

Elsa bit her lip. _I can't let Anna do that. She'll end up touching my hands somehow and I'll hurt her with my powers._ She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Anna…"

"That's all right," Anna assured her. _Too much too fast for Elsa, I guess. After all, she probably hasn't let anyone even touch her in forever. _"You did let someone touch you! That's good, right?"

"I love you, Anna. You make me…happy…" Elsa had no idea what to say. She just hoped Anna understood just how much she appreciated the way Anna treated her. _Anna's willing to let me have my space; she doesn't treat me like a…a freak, even if that is what I am; and she cares about me. And wait a second…_ Elsa suddenly realized she felt completely, entirely in control for the first time since she was eight. She just felt like a normal girl talking to her sister. _I wish I could tell Anna what was wrong with me. I wonder if she could help me with it…wait, what are you thinking, Elsa?! You can't expect Anna to do that!_ Still, Elsa would take what she could get. Talking to Anna face-to-face and Anna's touch on her shoulder was more than enough for her. _More than I could have hoped for._

* * *

That evening, Anna invited Elsa to sleep in her room, but Elsa declined. She had absolutely no way of knowing whether she'd be in control or not while she was sleeping, so Anna's offer was out of the question.

"Well then, I'm gonna sleep in the hall outside your room," Anna said immediately.

"I'll sleep right next to the door on the other side then," Elsa offered. _Why is Anna still willing to keep bothering with me? I mean, I appreciate it and I love her for it, but still…_

Anna smiled at her for what was probably the zillionth time that day. "Ok! Sounds good." She held her hand up, but before she actually touched her sister, she asked, "Is it all right to touch your shoulder again?"

Elsa smiled that sweet, lopsided smile of hers and nodded. "I think so. No, I _know_ so. Yes, it's okay." _And I mean it. It's okay. _I'm_ okay right now too._

"You are so getting a virtual hug right now," Anna told her.

"You're getting a virtual hug too," Elsa replied. _Anna's TOUCHING me and it's really, truly okay! _Elsa still couldn't quite believe it; she was still the exact same girl she'd been for the last ten years with the ice powers she couldn't control; yet the first day she had completely alone with Anna, Anna had gotten Elsa to allow her to touch her and absolutely nothing happened.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed and come right back, all right?" Anna asked.

"Okay." Elsa disappeared into her room with the door that now locked on _her_ side, and she went to get ready for bed herself. After putting on her nightgown and letting her hair down out of its bun and braiding it into the single braid she liked so much; Elsa debated on tiptoeing out into the hall to see what Anna was doing. _I'm eighteen years old now. I can't go traipsing around the castle in my nightgown! But…nobody's here to stop me. I'm in charge right now. I can go out in the hall if I want to. And I want to!_ So Elsa pulled her door open and darted out into the hall. And for the first time, _she_ headed to _Anna's_ door instead of the other way around. Elsa was just deciding whether or not she should knock on her sister's door when Anna threw the door open and ran smack-dab into her. Both girls ended up on the floor. Elsa was so surprised she just lay flat on the floor in shock and said nothing.

"Oh! Elsa, I'm sooo sorry!" Anna, who had already jumped back to her feet, reached a hand toward her sister to help her to her feet.

Elsa didn't accept Anna's outstretched hand, but she got back to her feet herself and laughed. "Anna, you haven't changed one bit! You did that to me when you were five, too!"

"Yeah…I'm still kinda clumsy sometimes," Anna said sheepishly. "Anyway, come on! Let's go to sleep. I got an idea. Oh, and one other thing…how come you don't just wear your hair in a braid like that all the time? I know you like it better that way."

Elsa fingered her long braid hanging over her shoulder. "_I_ like it better this way, but…" _But nobody else does because it's not proper? I don't even know why Mom and Dad don't like it this way. Oh, well…_

"Then fix it that way for just the next two weeks," Anna suggested. "It looks pretty like that, and besides, it's YOUR hair; you oughta be able to fix it how you want."

Elsa gave Anna a small smile, but she didn't say anything. _Maybe that would be okay._

* * *

Ten minutes later, Elsa and Anna were lying on either side of Elsa's door with a single blanket stuck under the door between them. "So it's kinda like we're sharing it even though we're not really right next to each other," Anna explained, pulling her half of the blanket out into the hall.

"Anna, this has been the best day I've had in a long, long time," Elsa said sleepily from inside her room. _Even better than when I was sixteen and snuck out into the forest. Today I got to spend lots of time with Anna. That's way better in my mind._

* * *

The two girls slept peacefully all night, aside from the fact that Anna kept pulling more than her share of the blanket out into the hall. Elsa wasn't cold, of course, but she still liked sleeping under a blanket for some reason that she did not know. _Anna did _that_ when she was little too, trying to take more than her share of the covers…_ Elsa couldn't be irritated though; she would rather let Anna yank the blanket all night than not have her there at all.

* * *

A few days later, Elsa went to see what political business, if any, she was supposed to deal with. Any letters and such that she would have to reply to would be on her father's desk in the study. Anna tagged along, not because she wanted to help (she most definitely did _not_), but because she just wanted to be with Elsa.

Elsa opened the one letter on the desk. "It's from Corona," she said as she started to read. _Our cousin Rapunzel is getting married. I've never even seen her…I wish we could go to the wedding ourselves, but that's impossible._ After all, the letter was an invitation.

"Where's it from?" Anna asked.

"Corona, like I said. Our cousin Rapunzel is getting married," Elsa told her. "I suppose I'll have to send our regrets that we can't go."

"We've never even SEEN her!"

Elsa sighed. "I know. But I can't leave the castle, and I am _not_ sending you alone. Plus we would not arrive back in Arendelle before our parents come back."

"I wouldn't go alone even if you told me to. I want to spend the rest of the next two weeks with _you_, Elsa." Anna held her hand up and asked, "All right to touch your shoulder right now?"

Elsa nodded and smiled at her sister. "Thank you for…for letting me have the space I need. I really, really appreciate it."

_Note to self: always ask Elsa if it's ok before touching her. It makes her happy._ "Scoot over, Elsa. I wanna sit with you."

"Anna, I…well, that is…" Elsa frowned. _That's too close for me. Anna will end up touching my hands or something…_

"Ok, Elsa, never mind, it's fine," Anna said quickly. "I'll just get another chair." She pulled another chair over to the desk and sat down next to Elsa, being careful not to touch her anywhere but her shoulder. _Ok, shoulder is ok, nothing else at the moment. I gotta let Elsa decide what's ok at her own pace._

Elsa jumped when Anna laid a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move away. _Anna can touch my shoulder. It's fine. I'm not going to shoot ice at her if she just does that. Anna just needs to stay away from my hands mostly. And my feet, since I know I leave icy footprints when I get upset. _She started writing a letter to send their regrets that they wouldn't be attending Rapunzel's wedding in Corona. "How's this?" she asked a few minutes later. " 'Dear King and Queen of Corona, The royal family of Arendelle sends our regrets that we will be unable to attend Princess Rapunzel's wedding. We wish her well and send our regards. On behalf of King Agdar and Queen Idun of Arendelle, sincerely, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle.' What do you think, Anna? Too awkward or is it okay?"

Anna made a face. "It's too standoffy and formal, don't you think?"

"It's supposed to be _professional_," Elsa countered. "And the word is 'standoffish', anyway…" _Why am I correcting Anna on something that stupid? That's mean. I haven't even seen her in forever, and I tell her that?_

"Standoffish, standoffy, whatever. I guess it's professional, if that's what you want. C'mon, let's go give the letter to Kai. He can send it out for you," Anna said. "Then we can just hang out together the rest of the day."

"Okay."

* * *

Later that evening, Elsa found herself following Anna to the hall with all the paintings in it. "Anna, what are we going to do in here?" she asked curiously.

"Bounce on the furniture," Anna announced happily. "Watch!" She boinged onto one sofa and over to the next.

Elsa frowned, but she also hid a giggle behind her hand. "Anna, we're not little kids anymore. I can't go bouncing on the furniture! What if we break something?"

Anna boinged off a sofa onto her feet and ran over to her sister. "C'mon, Elsa, you're in charge right now, so if somebody tells you to stop, just tell 'em to get lost and stay there. Bouncing on the furniture is fun!" She held up her hand with a questioning look.

Elsa nodded. _Yes, touching my shoulder is fine. Thank you for asking, Anna._ Elsa felt Anna trying to pull her by the shoulder over to one of the sofas. "Well…"

"Well, come on!" Anna let go of Elsa and jumped back on the sofa. "It's fun, really!"

Elsa could feel her resolve to not go jumping all over the furniture disappearing. Come to think of it, that _did_ look like fun, even if she was eighteen and kind of too old for such things. _Well, just one time can't hurt, right?_ Elsa climbed on the other end of the sofa, away from Anna. "Well…what are we waiting for?" she asked hesitantly.

"AWESOME! On three…one…two…three!"

Both girls jumped high in the air and bounced again and again, as if they were on a trampoline. Elsa laughed and laughed, and Anna squealed in excitement. After bouncing for awhile, they decided they were tired, and simply flopped on the carpet in the middle of the floor. "Thank you for that, Anna. That was so much fun!" Elsa exclaimed.

"Told ya! Hey, Elsa…can I rebraid your hair? It kinda fell partway out while we were jumping around," Anna said.

Elsa rested her chin in her hands and thought for a moment. "Well…okay, but if I say you have to stop, then you have to get away from me _immediately_. All right?"

"Ok, cool!" Anna promptly scrambled over to her sister.

Elsa tensed up a little as Anna started undoing what was left of her braid. _Calm down, Elsa. It's fine. You aren't going to hurt Anna._

"Good grief, Elsa, you've got a ton of hair! No wonder it always looks so nice," Anna told her.

Elsa shrugged. "I don't know if it's thick or not; it's just…me, I guess, I don't know. I know the color is kind of odd, but that's it."

Anna frowned. "I don't think it's 'odd'. I think it's really pretty and dramatic-looking," she said, continuing to braid her sister's hair.

_You thought it was pretty when we were little, too. It's just there to me…I just think it's odd 'cause _nobody_ else in our family I've seen portraits of have hair the same color as mine. I think it's from my powers…_ Elsa didn't say anything aloud.

"'Kay, all finished," Anna said a moment later. "Elsa, why do you pick on yourself all the time? I wish you could see yourself like _I_ see you. Just a sweet girl who tries to deal with way too much stuff on her own. I still don't know exactly what's bothering you, but it's like…whatever it is has gotten into your head and put a whole bunch of negative thoughts and feelings about yourself there. You need to replace that stuff with positive things or something."

Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead in her crossed arms. _Since when did Anna become so smart? She's right, but…_ "I don't _have_ any positive thoughts or feelings about myself. They disappeared along with naïve eight-year-old me," she whispered. "How can I replace all that negative stuff when I'm completely filled on the inside with it?" she asked a bit wistfully. "I _can't_. I don't _deserve_ to. I…" Elsa's voice cracked and she didn't try to say anything more. _A girl who went and almost killed her sister shouldn't have positive thoughts and feelings about herself. It's wrong. It _was_ an accident, but…_

Anna's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Elsa. _What happened to her? Why on earth would she think she 'doesn't deserve to' think positive things about herself? That's horrible…Elsa sounded so broken and tired. I've gotta help her somehow._ "Elsa, whatever it is, it's gonna be ok. I know it will. I don't care what happened or what you did in the past, you do NOT deserve to feel like this about yourself. _If_ you did something bad in the past, which I highly, highly doubt, you're obviously sorry about it; so therefore you are not any of those rotten names I've heard you call yourself. A monster would not regret his or her actions. So, that is one thing you are most definitely not, no matter what you did that I don't know about," Anna told her. "Is it all right to touch your shoulder right now?"

Elsa nodded ever so slightly and said nothing. _Could Anna be right? What she said is logical, but…I STILL HURT HER! And she doesn't even know it. I don't know what's true and what's not anymore._ She felt Anna's hand lightly rubbing her shoulder, and wished she could give her sister a hug. _No, Elsa, don't you dare. You've let this go way too far already. No hugs. Period._ _I'm spending time with Anna and that's enough for me. _Elsa finally relaxed completely, just feeling content and sleepy now. "Thanks, Anna," she said quietly.

"You're welcome, Elsa." Anna realized her sister was actually relaxed and falling asleep now. _Well, I don't know if I helped her think of something good about herself, but at least she's happy right now._

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa was fast asleep. Anna wasn't sure what to do; she knew Elsa would not want to sleep downstairs in the portrait room all night, but she also didn't want to wake Elsa up. Anna waited a few minutes more to make sure Elsa would not wake up before scooping Elsa up in her arms and staggering to her feet. Elsa was by no means heavy, but the two girls were almost the same size, Anna being the slightly shorter of the two, and so Anna had a hard time carrying her sister. _Don't wake up, Elsa, please don't wake up._

Finally Anna made it upstairs to her sister's room. She debated on taking Elsa to her own room; then remembered that Elsa would probably be terrified if she woke up and found herself in Anna's room. So Anna gently put her sister down on her bed, pulled the blankets over her, and brushed a stray wisp of platinum hair out of her face. _Good night, Elsa. I love you. You deserve better than this, but I don't know what else to do…_ Anna tiptoed out of Elsa's room and pulled the door not-quite-shut behind her. _Just in case if Elsa wakes up, she won't think she's locked in there again._

* * *

_"Wait! Slow down!" eight-year-old Elsa shouted at her little sister._

_ Five-year-old Anna didn't seem to hear and kept jumping. Elsa tried to keep up and accidentally hit Anna in the head with an ice blast as she fell. "ANNA!"_

_ "Who, me?" present-time Anna asked._

_ Little Elsa turned to see now-teenaged Anna. "Who are you? You look like…like Anna! I HURT HER!"_

_ "I'm Anna," present-time Anna said, puzzled. "How did you hurt me? You're just a little girl! And you look like my sister Elsa!"_

_ "I _am_ Elsa!" eight-year-old Elsa exclaimed. "Why are there two Annas?! And I hurt you 'cause of…'cause of…this!" The little girl stretched out a shaky hand holding a snowflake in her palm. "I HIT YOU! I HIT YOU! But it was an accident!" Elsa shrieked. "I swear I didn't do it on purpose!"_

_ Suddenly the older Anna disappeared, and little Elsa was left with unconscious five-year-old Anna. Elsa ran to Anna and hugged her close. "Where did big you go? Big you was alive and everything, so you can't be dead!" Elsa blinked in surprise as older Anna suddenly appeared right in front of her._

_ "You hit me in the head with ice," older Anna said flatly. "Is that unconscious girl me?"_

_ Eight-year-old Elsa had no idea what to think anymore. Which Anna was real? Anna was supposed to be younger than she was, so unconscious five-year-old Anna must be real. But she wanted older, conscious Anna to be reality. "Are you real?" Elsa asked older Anna._

_ "Why wouldn't I be?"_

_ Suddenly eight-year-old Elsa became her present-day self and five-year-old Anna disappeared. "Why did I grow? What happened?"_

_ "I came back in time to find out what happened to us when we were little. Now I know."_

_ Now eighteen-year-old Elsa stared at her sister in terror, wondering what she would think now that she knew what happened. "It was an accident," she whispered. "I swear I didn't mean it…please don't hate me…please…"_

_ "I don't hate you, Elsa. Anyone could see that was an accident."_

_ Elsa's tear-filled blue eyes stared at Anna. "You d-don't hate me?"_

_ "Nope. I'm…scared of you, though. You have ice powers that can be dangerous," Anna told her._

_ Elsa glanced down at her gloved hands. _I knew it was too good to be true,_ she thought._ She should be scared of me…_ "That kind of…hurts me on the inside. I know you're right, though. I AM dangerous! HOW CAN YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE I'M DANGEROUS AND NOT HATE ME?!"_

_ "Because it's not your fault," Anna said simply._

_ "Am I a monster?" Elsa asked hesitantly._

_ "No, you are not. Dangerous, yes. Monster, no."_

_ "Am I a freak, defective, and abnormal?" Elsa had no idea why she was asking; she just had to know what Anna thought._

_ Silence._

_ More silence._

_ "Please answer!" Elsa begged. "Please!"_

_ Silence._

_ Silence._

_ "ANSWER ME PLEASE!" Elsa screamed. "PLEASE!"_

Elsa's screaming woke her up. Still shaking, she glanced around at her dark surroundings and finally realized she was in her room. How had she gotten up here? The last thing she remembered was being in the portrait room with Anna. _Anna must have carried me upstairs! Why did she do that?_ Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on her nightstand and looked around her room. _My bad dreams usually end up making me leave way more snowy messes than this…not that I'm complaining._ Although there was snow all over her bed and a bit on the floor, it hadn't spread over the entire room as it usually did. Elsa had the sudden urge to run down the hall and ask real-life Anna the questions she'd asked dream-Anna. _But real-life Anna doesn't know about my problem._ She heard a knock on her door and immediately realized her door wasn't even shut all the way. "Don't come in!" she called frantically. Elsa dashed to shut the door, but before she could do so, Anna's hand grabbed her arm and yanked her into the hall. Elsa slammed the door shut behind her. _That was close. Anna almost saw that mess in my room._

"That's it, you're coming to MY room now," Anna said firmly, dragging her sister down the hall. "I could hear you screaming from all the way in my room. I'm not letting you deal with nightmares alone."

"But Anna, it's not safe! I can't sleep in there with you!" Elsa had no idea what to do; if she struggled to get away from Anna, she'd probably end up making ice or something through her efforts. So she reluctantly let Anna drag her down the hall.

"All right, you don't have to sleep in my room, but we're going to talk awhile first."

* * *

When they arrived in Anna's room, Anna promptly sat Elsa down on her bed. "Now you talk," she demanded. "Then I get to convince you that everything's fine and then and only then will I let you go back to your room."

Elsa looked down at her clasped hands resting in her lap. "Anna, am I…am I a freak, defective, and abnormal?" she blurted. _Now why did I say that? WHY DID I SAY THAT?! Anna doesn't even know what my problem is…_

"Look at me, Elsa," Anna said firmly.

Elsa wouldn't raise her gaze to meet Anna's eyes.

"Look at me, Elsa." Anna reached a finger toward Elsa and raised her sister's chin toward her. "That's better. Elsa, I don't know what's bothering you or what's making you call yourself those things. But here's the deal: I don't believe in the _least_ that you are ANY of those things, but just for argument's sake, let's say you were. Elsa, I WOULD NOT CARE. You're still my sweet and awesome sister, no matter what negative qualities you might have. I love you, no matter what."

_Anna means it. She really, really means it. I should tell her what's wrong with me…I can't…I can't stick Anna with that knowledge. It's selfish on my part._ Elsa didn't say anything, but she smiled a little. "Thank…you…Anna…"

"I mean, if we didn't have _some_ bad qualities, we wouldn't be human, right?" Anna asked, grinning. "Look at me! Wouldn't you say I'm impulsive and klutzy and don't think before I do things? I wouldn't call those exactly good qualities, but they're just part of what makes me _me_. And you're the same…you just have a different personality, so yours are different."

Elsa tilted her head to one side, as if she were considering what Anna had said. "Maybe…" _Anna might be right…I hope she is._ She covered a yawn with her hand.

"I know I'm right," Anna told her. "I can tell you're sleepy…go to sleep. You're welcome to stay in here if you like!"

"I better not," Elsa said. "Good night, Anna…and thank you." She tiptoed out of Anna's room and shut the door behind her. Halfway back to her own room, she felt the sudden urge to go back to Anna's room. _I can't do that. It's not safe._ Still, Elsa found her footsteps taking her back to her sister's room. Elsa curled up right outside Anna's door and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Anna nearly stepped on Elsa when she opened her door. _What's Elsa doing here?! And she usually wakes up first…_ Anna gently shook Elsa's shoulder. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Elsa blinked sleepily up at Anna. "Is it morning?"

"Yeah. Elsa, why did you sleep outside my door all night?! I would have let you in!"

Elsa sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I couldn't…not safe…" She suddenly grew tense all over and jumped to her feet. "Anna-there's a storm coming!" she said, her frightened blue eyes darting to Anna, out a window and back again. Elsa took off at full speed down the hall back to her room, feeling herself becoming jumpy and antsy, which meant it wouldn't take much for her to lose control. _Mom and Dad…I hope they're okay!_

Anna chased after her. "Elsa, wait up! I'm not gonna make you go down to the lousy old dungeon for telling me that! I believe you!" She knocked on Elsa's door, waiting for an answer.

_That's not it. I just don't want to hurt you._ Elsa quickly locked her door, glad that it now locked on her side again.

Anna frowned when she heard the lock click. "Please don't shut me out again…"

Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Then she began speaking quickly, "Anna, I can't come out right now. It isn't a hurricane or tornado, but I think there are going to be strong winds and lots of rain. Go tell Gerda and Kai to put out buckets and mend leaky spots, please. Okay?"

"All right…Elsa, when are you coming out?"

"When the storm is over," Elsa replied. _I hope it doesn't last long…_

* * *

But it kept raining for the next several days. Elsa was happy that Anna came to talk to her from out in the hall almost all day, every day; but she could tell Anna was getting a bit miffed. _I can't blame her. I'd be miffed too. After all, we were together again, and now it's all messed up again._ Elsa talked to Anna from inside her room, but it just wasn't the same. By the time the bad weather ended, it was the day their parents were supposed to return. Elsa's mood dropped to her toes. _I know I won't get any more time with Anna after they come back._ But they didn't show up.

"Elsa, they're obviously not coming tonight," Anna said. "Come on out just for this evening."

Elsa quickly obliged, thinking that she probably would never have any time with Anna again after tonight.

Anna squeezed Elsa's shoulder. "I missed you the last days. I know we still talked together, but it's not the same."

"I agree." Elsa smiled at Anna, and the two of them headed to the dining hall for dinner. "I missed you, too…"

* * *

The next afternoon, their parents still hadn't returned. Elsa was growing worried. What had happened? "Anna, I'm certainly in no rush for them to come back since I'm going to lose you again, but I hope something didn't happen to them," Elsa said. _What if they got caught in the storm and the boat sank or something? It would be _my_ fault for letting them leave without even attempting to tell them about the storm…_

"They're probably just stuck somewhere," Anna said. "Delayed 'cause of the storm or something. Maybe they stayed in Weaseltown till the storm passed," she suggested.

Elsa couldn't help giggling. "It's 'Weselton', Anna. By the way, I think you know this already, but I do _not_ like that duke. He's sneaky and I still think he tries to cheat Arendelle for personal gain." Then her expression turned serious. _The thing is, according to my 'storm sense', which I highly, highly hope is wrong, that storm hit Mom's and Dad's ship's path first; then Weselton; before ever reaching Arendelle…which means they should be back by now…_

"Then it should definitely be 'Weaseltown'!" Anna smirked.

Elsa forced a smile. "True." _I really, really hope nothing happened..._

**A/N: Ok, Elsa's getting suspicious that something has gone wrong, but neither she nor Anna know for sure yet.**

**I just had to stick Rapunzel in there!;) I'm going with Rapunzel is cousins with Elsa and Anna.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon:)**

**P.S. The next chapter _might_ be T and _potential_ trigger warning. If you'd rather, please feel free to skip to chapter 24. I'll do a quick couple sentence recap of what happened so you still know what happened and stuff.:)**


	23. Abrupt Downward Spiral

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:) Over 10,000 views?! AWESOME!:)*jumps about like a crazy person***

**szczygowa-Thank you:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-The bouncing on the furniture was my sister's ideaXD I shall tell her you liked it! Well, hooray for all the readers...not so much hooray at Elsa and Anna...:P P.S. I know EXACTLY how I'm ending this..it's going to be post-movie, but literally like _mayyybe_ two or three days after AT MOST.:)**

**olaf99-Glad you enjoyed it:) Yes, I have thought about that, but I have two multi-chapter stories going right now AND the one-shot series...I'd better not start yet another one right now.:P I'll probably do it eventually, though:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thank you:) I'm glad both of them seemed 'believable':)**

**On to the story!:) (WARNING: Now, I'm actually not sure, but I'm gonna put this just in case...part of this chapter_ might_ be T, and _potential_ trigger warning. I have no idea...so, I'm putting a warning just in case:P) I think mostly it's overboard angst and depressing, though.:/ So, yeah...**

A few mornings later, Elsa found a just-arrived letter from Weselton waiting for her on her father's desk. "Maybe it's a message from our parents saying they got detained or something!" she told Anna, quickly breaking the wax seal and opening the letter.

"Good idea," Anna said, trying to peek over her sister's shoulder.

A moment later, the temperature in the room dropped about fifteen degrees and the letter fluttered to the floor. Elsa turned a horrified gaze to her sister.

"Elsa, what's wrong? What's the matter?! What did that letter say? And boy, it's cold in here all of a sudden," Anna said, rubbing her arms.

"Anna, they…they never arrived in Weselton," Elsa whispered. "They're lost. Lost at sea." _What have I done?!_ Elsa turned and ran from the room as fast as she could go.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna called, but Elsa wasn't listening, hadn't even heard her.

Elsa ran into her room, locked the door, and finally let out the tears she'd been holding in. _This is all my fault. They're dead because of _me_, because I didn't say anything about the storm. I've been playing with Anna for the last two and a half weeks, and for most of that time THEY WERE DEAD! How could I do that?! Not even trying to warn them about the storm was selfish. I knew them being gone for two weeks would give me two weeks of freedom, and I know that was one of the reasons I didn't say anything. Yeah, I didn't want to end up in the dungeon for two weeks, but it was also just because I wanted a bit of freedom. _"I'm a horrible person," she muttered. _I killed them! It's my fault!_ She heard Anna knocking on her door, but she ignored it. _I don't deserve to talk to Anna. What I did was rotten._

"Elsa, what…d-do you want me to do?" Anna asked. "We gotta have a service and stuff…and…and…this means you're in charge p-permanently now…You gotta t-tell me what to do or do it y-yourself…"

All Anna received in reply were louder sobs. Elsa lay flat on her bed, crying into her pillow, not knowing what to do. _This isn't real! It can't be real; it can't be!_ Ice spread over the floor and up the walls, and snowflakes began falling before stopping suspended in midair; but Elsa didn't notice, and if she had, she wouldn't have cared at that moment.

"All right, I'll just stay right out here till you tell me, Elsa," Anna said. She needed her sister's help; she had no idea how to deal with this on her own.

Elsa was now acting monarch of Arendelle at age eighteen whether she wanted to be or not (she most definitely did _not_), and she was the one who would have to make the final decision on things. Yes, she was three years underage, but her parents had made her regent, so since she was already the position that she should have had someone helping her from, she was on her own. _What am I going to do? This is all my fault, and I can't run Arendelle from behind closed gates! What do I do?!_ Well, one thing was certain. She could not change her parents' rules that had been in place; it was disrespectful to their memory and legacy. And yet she needed Anna's help. _Okay, so I can't follow those horrible rules completely. I will not ruin Arendelle. I _need_ Anna's help, so I will not ignore her entirely. Anna's going to be so confused with me…_

* * *

An hour later, she finally composed herself enough to tell Anna, "Have a…memorial service…tomorrow…please…give a speech…telling what happened and their legacy for Arendelle…" Elsa noticed the ice and snow all over her room did not disappear at all or even start to melt. _Right now, I can't leave this room even if I want to. I'm sealed in with my own ice. Ironic._ Both the entrance to the secret passages and her actual door were sealed shut with ice.

"Elsa…_you're_ the one who's…supposed to give a speech…like that…Not me," Anna said. "You're Queen of Arendelle…now."

"_I CAN'T!_" Elsa screamed. "I'm stuck in here!" _Literally! I can't get out whether I want to or not! And don't remind me! I'm not ready to be queen yet!_ More ice spread over the floor and walls, and Elsa had no idea what to do.

Anna jumped back from the door at Elsa's sudden outburst. What was Anna supposed to do? _It's gonna look really odd if I go and give the speech and stuff…and I want Elsa out of there! _Anna suddenly had a sick feeling that her sister would not be coming out of there for a long, long time. _Not again. Please not again…_ "Elsa, please don't-"

"Go away, Anna! Just go!" Elsa cried. "You gotta take care of this! I'm not ready! I'm not; I'm not!" _I'm sticking an almost-fifteen-year-old with my responsibilities. You're stupid, Elsa. Really, really stupid. And thoughtless. And horrible. But I really, truly cannot get out of this room right now! _Elsa also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if she tried to attend her parents' funeral, she would also completely lose control and ice over everything in the vicinity. She couldn't let that happen. _I'm already out of control. I've literally imprisoned myself in my own room. With _ice_._

Anna bit her lip, not knowing what to say or do. She obviously wasn't going to get any help from Elsa, and she also thought it was wrong to leave Elsa right now. _Elsa sounded completely hysterical. I can't leave her right now. But who's gonna take care of stuff? Somehow I don't think Elsa is able to right now…and I have no idea how._ Anna tried to start talking again. "Elsa, do you think maybe you can-"

"I can't listen right now! Go away, Anna! Please go away! Please…" Elsa felt awful yelling at Anna, but she couldn't deal with even hearing her sister's voice right now. Anna had no idea that their parents were dead all because of something _Elsa_ had done-or not done, depending on how she looked at it. _What am I going to do? I'm eighteen years old and I've killed two people. Indirectly, but they're dead all the same. And they were MY OWN PARENTS! Anna would hate me if she knew what I did._ Elsa had completely forgotten just whose idea it had been to not give any more storm warnings in the first place.

Anna sighed and gave up-for the time being. _I'll go ask Gerda for help with the speech thing and whatnot. Elsa can't help right now; she's too broken up about the whole thing. I wish I could give her a hug. We ought to be together right now…_

* * *

Elsa sat curled up in the window seat, wishing all that ice all over her room would start melting. It was nighttime now, and not a drop of water had slid down the walls. Even the still-missing window was now closed off by a sheet of ice. _Maybe they wouldn't have left in the first place if it wasn't because of me. One of the reasons they left was to try to find some way to cure me. Why didn't I just come right out and say 'There's no way to do that. You're stuck with a defective daughter for all eternity'? I should have. I was stupid and thoughtless. All I could think was 'Oh, wow, I get two weeks of freedom!' Dumb, dumb, dumb…_ Elsa felt angry with herself for thinking that way, and angry with her now-dead parents for everything that had made her start thinking like that in the first place. _Maybe they wouldn't be dead if they hadn't done things like chaining me in the dungeon unfairly. Then maybe I would have been less hesitant about saying anything about that storm in the first place. Wait…ELSA, HOW CAN YOU THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! You _are_ a monster! You are! You're blaming your own parents for your own actions about not telling them about that storm. How can you do that?_

Elsa had no idea why, but she found herself jumping to her feet and pounding relentlessly on the sheet of ice where the window should have been. _Come on, ice, _break_! I hate you. I hate myself. Logical, right? You're part of me, ice, and I hate myself, so that makes complete sense. _She wanted that ice to break and shatter into a million pieces. But _of course_ it wouldn't. _Just because I want it to, it won't. Figures._ Elsa ignored the growing pain in her knuckles and continued pounding on the ice. Finally, finally, the ice shattered and Elsa relaxed. _So there. Ice will not beat me. It won't. _She stood in front of the missing window, holding her aching hands close to her chest. All she could see outside was darkness, a big empty nothing. _A black void, just like what's inside me. Nothing I do is going to bring them back. I won't miss those horrible stays in the dungeon one bit, but…WHY DIDN'T I SAY THERE WAS GOING TO BE A STORM?! I made a mistake and now I have to live with it. _"I wish I'd just _told_ them," she whispered. "At least then if they still didn't listen and the same thing happened, I could say I'd done all I could." Elsa plopped back down in the window seat and tried her best to just remove herself from reality.

* * *

The next morning, Elsa found herself still sitting in the window seat, half-awake but half not. _Yesterday was just a nightmare, right?_ A knock from Anna and her sister telling her to please come out so they could go to the funeral service together snapped her back to reality. _Not a nightmare. This is real._

"Elsa, please? I really, really don't want to go alone. I'll even do the speech thing like you wanted me to. I just want you with me," Anna said.

Elsa glanced around her room, knowing she was still sealed inside because of her own ice. _Even if I thought I could make it through the service without losing control, I can't even get out of here._ "Anna, I…I just _can't_. Please l-leave me a-alone…please…"

Anna frowned on the other side of the door, tugging at her itchy black dress. _This is not fair. I want my sister. Now it's not even just for her, I want Elsa out of there for _me._ It's always me trying to comfort her, but being with Elsa makes me happy too._ "I don't like being alone even if you do," she blurted. _But she _doesn't_ like being alone. Why did I tell her that? That was mean. _"I'm sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean it."

Elsa buried her face in her arms and cried silently. _But I _don't_ like being alone. I do want company. But I can't get out and I'm dangerous and they're dead because of me. Anna should just move on and forget me._

Anna sighed when she heard nothing from Elsa's side of the door. "I guess I'll go by myself then now…"

Elsa heard Anna's trudging footsteps fade away down the hall. Whatever small semblance of control Elsa had disappeared, and snow began swirling around the room. _Stop it, Elsa! Get it together. What do you think you're doing?!_ "I don't know! I can't do this; I can't, I can't!" _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa paced back and forth in her room, trying to calm down. Finally the swirling snow stopped, leaving snowflakes suspended in midair once again. Elsa went to sit against her door, pulling her knees to her chest.

* * *

Elsa was still in the exact same place when Anna knocked on her door a few hours later. _Anna, go away. I can't listen right now. Maybe someday, but not today._

"Please, I know you're in there…"

_Yeah, but I can't come out. Go away, Anna. Please…_

"People are asking where you've been…"

Elsa frowned. Of course there were people asking where she had been. Nobody outside the castle had even _seen_ her since she was eight. They probably thought she was going to completely ruin their country. After all, she was only eighteen and she hadn't even gone to the funeral service. _What a mess of things I've made. Anna could-and is doing-a better job than me. Maybe she'd be better off without me._

"They say 'Have courage', and I'm trying to…I'm right out here for you. Just let me in…" _Elsa, please? Even just seeing you would be nice, _Anna thought.

_ I can't let you in. I can't because it's not safe, and I really, truly can't. I'm stuck in here. You should move on and forget me, Anna. _Elsa wished with all her heart that Anna would leave her alone right now. Just for now; maybe she wouldn't mind Anna talking to her later.

"We only have each other; it's just you and me…" Anna's voice grew quieter.

_You might have me, but I don't have you. I can't! I can't deal with this anymore. I killed Mom and Dad. Anna, you should hate me. You don't even know what I did. I don't deserve to have you out there trying to talk to me._ Elsa's thoughts grew more and more despondent the longer Anna tried to talk to her.

"What are we gonna do?" Anna turned and slid down to sit against the door on her side out in the hall.

_I don't know what we're going to do, Anna,_ Elsa thought._ You have a rotten, defective sister who's supposed to queen and doesn't know how to fix _any_ of the mess she's caused. You should just move on from me, because I'm not going to change. It's impossible._

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Elsa could barely hear Anna's last question and quiet sigh, but it was clear enough to Elsa's sharp ears. She rested her forehead on her knees on top of her crossed arms. _Yes, I do, but why did you ask me that, Anna? There's no snow on the ground outside. Just leave me alone. I wish I could leave and disappear forever. Anna could take care of Arendelle as long as someone helped her. She doesn't need me. I'm useless for anything and everything except hurting the people I care about. I should just relieve everyone of the trouble and leave myself._ Elsa found herself slipping off her gloves and holding a sharp shard of ice against her wrist. _I should tell Anna good-bye…_ "Good-bye, Anna…" she whispered.

Anna jumped to her feet on the other side of the door. She'd been talking to Elsa for a while now, and _that_ was the only thing her sister said? Anna remembered what Elsa had been thinking about before (which Elsa _said_ she wasn't going to do), and immediately realized what her sister was doing. "Elsa, don't you _dare_ do that! You promised me you wouldn't!" She had no idea what to do. Anna tried Elsa's door, but it was locked, and unknown to her, also frozen shut. _Elsa, please don't. I love you. You don't have to do that._

Elsa stopped what she was doing and just watched the thin red line on the pale skin of her wrist. _I did tell Anna that. I shouldn't break my promise. But she doesn't know what I did!_

The silence on Elsa's side of the door made Anna nearly hysterical. "Elsa, please! I love you! I care about you! Don't do it! You are not worthless or any of those other horrid things I know you think about yourself! Elsa? _Elsa!_"

_Anna loves me…she cares about me…but… _"You don't…know what I did," Elsa whispered.

_All right, at least I got her to say something,_ Anna thought. "I don't care what you did. You do _not_ deserve to die. You're my sister! I'd be devastated if you weren't around anymore. I love you, Elsa!" Anna noticed Gerda walking down the hall and ran over to her. "Gerda, Elsa's got a super big problem…you gotta get in there and help her! She won't let me in, and I'm like 99.9999% sure she's trying to commit s-s…well, you know…"

Gerda looked at Anna in shock. "Well, there's no time to lose then. Run down to your room for now. I'll take care of your sister." Gerda knew Elsa probably wouldn't let Anna in because of a control issue.

Anna reluctantly ran down to her own room. _Elsa, please be ok…_

* * *

Gerda quickly began removing Elsa's door from its hinges, figuring that the door was iced shut, which was true. "Princess Elsa?" she asked, using Elsa's usual title instead of calling her 'queen', thinking that she probably didn't want to be reminded of that.

Elsa sat on the floor, still staring at her wrist, not doing anything else. _Why is Gerda here? Why is anyone bothering with me? They should just let me be. _She flinched when she heard the ice that had been on her door shatter.

Gerda took one look at Elsa and knew Anna's assumption had been right. "Princess Elsa, drop the piece of ice. Just drop it." She knew it wasn't her place to give Elsa orders, but this was a special situation.

Elsa's tear-filled blue eyes looked up at Gerda. "Why? I think it'd be best if I just disappear…"

"_No_, princess. You're wrong. I know you're upset right now, but things will get better. Don't do that to yourself."

Elsa glanced from her bleeding wrist to the ice shard in her other hand and then up at Gerda. _I don't think things can ever get better. I can't bring back Mom and Dad. They're dead, and it's _my_ fault… _"But…you don't know what I did…"

Gerda went into Elsa's bathroom and came back with a wet cloth and bandages. "Then how about you just say what you did. Maybe it isn't as bad as you think."

Elsa paused before answering, "My…storm sense…I knew there was a storm coming…and I didn't warn Mom and Dad before they left. They're dead because of _me! _It's all my fault!" _Now Gerda's going to think I'm horrible too. Maybe she'll leave me alone. Why didn't I say anything to them before they left? Why?_

Gerda knelt next to Elsa and took the ice shard away from her. "Princess, do you really, sincerely believe your parents would have believed you if you had warned them? Think carefully before you answer, now," she said, appealing to the logical side of Elsa's mind.

Elsa frowned. "Well…no, not really. I'd have probably ended up in the dungeon again. _But I still should have at least TRIED!_" She winced as Gerda pressed the wet cloth against the cut on her wrist. _I shouldn't let Gerda do that. I'm going to end up hurting her. I'm so, so tired of worrying about everything…_

"Let's just say you warned them, they didn't believe you, and you ended up in the dungeon for the next two weeks. The storm still came, and they still died. That's the exact same outcome, Princess Elsa. At least this way, you had some happy time with your sister, right?"

Elsa said nothing. _I was still being selfish. But I did promise Anna I wouldn't do what I almost did. I _will not_ break my promise to her. It's not her fault I am the way I am. I know Anna would be really upset if I did that…I'm not going to be the cause of Anna feeling like that._ "Gerda, you shouldn't touch me anymore…what if I hurt you?"

"Nonsense. You need help right now, princess." Gerda ignored Elsa's protests and continued taking care of her wrist.

Elsa sighed and didn't say anything more. She felt too tired to make any more of a fuss. "Why do you and Anna still care about me?" she asked quietly.

"Because you don't care for yourself, and someone needs to." Gerda gently finished bandaging Elsa's injured wrist. "Look what you did to yourself. You need someone to keep you from doing such things and tell you the truth, that you are _not_ worthless or any of those other names you call yourself."

"Thank you, Gerda…I-I think I'd have regretted finishing what I started," Elsa whispered, fingering the bandage wrapped snugly around her wrist. _Only because of Anna, though. I almost left her because of a horrible reckless impulse…And Gerda and Anna don't know what they're talking about. I am all those bad names, no matter how much I wish otherwise._ "Tell Anna I said…I'm sorry f-for not going to the s-service with her," she added, trying to hold back her tears but failing miserably.

"You can tell her yourself, Princess Elsa. Because you are not spending the night alone tonight."

Elsa just stared at Gerda. "I have to! If I go sleep in Anna's room, I might lose control while I'm sleeping or something!" _And I might hurt her or something…_

"Princess Elsa, you don't lose control when you spend time with your sister. You spent a lot of time with her during those two weeks and never lost control once that I saw."

"But I was conscious! I wasn't _sleeping_," Elsa said, trying to explain. "I have bad dreams all the time and I always end up losing control and waking up to snow and ice all over my room…"

"You probably won't have bad dreams in the first place if you sleep in the same room with Princess Anna," Gerda told her. "Look, princess, your sister sleeps like a log anyway. How's this? I'll stay in the room with you two, and if I see you starting to lose control, I'll wake you up and you can come back to your own room."

Elsa thought for a long minute before finally saying, "Okay…But only for tonight." _I shouldn't spend time with Anna anymore. I don't deserve it. But surely it'd be all right just once?_ She slowly got to her feet and went to pull a nightgown out of her dresser. "I'm so tired…do you think Anna would mind if I went to sleep now?" she asked.

"I think she'll just be happy to see you, princess. I'll go out in the hall and wait for you to change."

"Okay." Elsa quickly pulled off her dress and put her blue nightgown on instead; then pulled her hair down into a single braid. Her wrist still stung, but she figured she deserved it after trying something like that. _I'm glad Anna stopped me and got Gerda. Anna's smart…all I even said was 'Goodbye, Anna'… Thank goodness I didn't think more and leave a note or something instead of saying that to Anna._ She shuddered, thinking of what might have happened if she had thought that whole thing out further before doing anything. Elsa tiptoed out into the hall. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be…" She gave Gerda a hint of a smile.

"Of course you're ready." Gerda led her down the hall, stopping in front of Anna's room. "Princess Elsa, do you want to do it?" she asked, referring to knocking on the door.

Elsa shook her head. "I can't…right now…Maybe another time."_ Stupid girl. Why can't you even knock on your sister's door, Elsa? What a chicken._

Gerda knocked lightly on Anna's door and said, "You have a visitor, Princess Anna."

* * *

Inside her room, Anna knew that 'visitor' could only be one person. She jumped off her bed and ran to open the door. Sure enough, there was her sister standing in the hall. Anna resisted the urge to grab Elsa and give her a hug, but she did grab Elsa's arm and pull her into the room. She briefly wondered why Elsa was wearing her nightgown; then figured that her sister was just tired. Anna's eyes spotted the bandage around Elsa's wrist, and she promptly made a face. _Oh, Elsa…why did you do that? I'm just glad I figured out what she was doing before she did anything else._ "If you're tired, Elsa, you can go to sleep in my bed. I won't mind. I'll stay wayyy away from you and I won't bother you or make too much noise," Anna told her.

Elsa gave Anna a grateful smile, and practically fell into bed. "I 'ppreciate what you did…Anna," she said softly, pulling the covers up to her chin. _I don't know why Anna treats me the way she does, but I know I have someone who cares what happens to me in her. I'll figure out how to take care of my country, too. I will not fail. I might still have to ignore her most of the time because I need to hold up Mom and Dad's legacy and it's not safe, but I'm not breaking down again. I won't._ Elsa sighed and curled up into a ball. _I'll figure out my problem eventually. And then I'll be able to tell Anna why everything has been like this all this time._

* * *

Anna watched her sister fall asleep, as if she were some kind of special protector watching over Elsa. _I'm gonna make sure Elsa doesn't get so upset that she tries something like that again. I love her. _"Gerda, is Elsa all right? She didn't hurt herself _too_ much, did she?" Anna asked, eying Elsa's bandaged wrist. "Well, I mean, anything is too much, but Elsa's going to be fine, right?"

"She had a nasty cut, but it's going to heal just fine," Gerda assured her. "There were also some bruises on her hand, too, but I don't know where those came from. Princess Elsa is going to be fine."

Anna frowned. _Elsa, why would you do that to yourself? It's just…wrong. You didn't do anything wrong, except for doing that to yourself._ She wanted to give Elsa a hug, but she didn't dare. At least not right now; she'd have to wait until Elsa was more deeply asleep. Anna carefully climbed on the bed next to Elsa, being careful not to shake the bed or wake her sister up. "Thanks for helping Elsa, Gerda."

"There's no need for thanks, princess. Everyone owes you a thank-you actually, for getting help for Princess Elsa."

"Isn't Elsa really queen now?" Anna asked.

"Well, yes, technically, but she won't be legally coronated until she's twenty-one. Also, I would suggest don't remind her of the fact that she's queen," Gerda said.

Elsa stirred a bit in her sleep and reached for Anna. "…sorry…love you, Anna…wish I could fix ev'rything…" she mumbled.

Anna hesitated before taking Elsa's outstretched hand. "Everything's gonna be fine, Elsa. Everything's gonna be fine. I love you, too," she said softly. _Elsa, please don't wake up. Or if you do, please don't freak out. I'm right here for you. You don't have to do anything like that EVER again._

Elsa seemed to relax as she pulled Anna's hand close and held it with both of her own. She didn't say anything else, though.

Anna was more puzzled than ever. Elsa was adamant that Anna stay far, far away from her hands, and yet here was Elsa clutching Anna's hand close as if her life depended on it. _Which_, Anna noted sadly,_ is kind of true…_ "Gerda, why does Elsa usually not like anyone touching her, especially her hands?" she whispered. "And why does she wear gloves all the time?"

"I believe those are questions only your sister should answer," Gerda said carefully. "I would suggest holding off on such questions for awhile…"

Anna nodded and didn't say anything. _Elsa needs help and support right now. And I'm gonna give it to her whether she wants it or not._

* * *

A few hours later, Elsa stirred awake and was greatly surprised to find out she was holding Anna's hand. She immediately released Anna's hand and held her own against her chest. "Anna, I…I didn't hurt you, did I?" she asked. _Please tell me I didn't…please…_

"Of course you didn't, Elsa," Anna assured her. "You've just been sleeping quietly, holding my hand, all the time. You're fine. Do you feel a little better now?"

"I guess so…I don't feel worse anyway." Elsa started to pull herself to a sitting position, but Anna pushed her shoulders back down against the pillows. "You shouldn't touch me, Anna…" she said quietly.

"Maybe you ought to sleep some more, till you feel all the way better. And you aren't gonna hurt me, Elsa. You just held my hand for hours and nothing happened," Anna tried to tell her.

Elsa turned her face away from Anna. "I'm never going to feel all the way better," she muttered. _I can't bring Mom and Dad back. I know they were unfair to me sometimes, but I still care about them and I can't help but wonder if I could have stopped them from leaving. And I hurt Anna when we were little!_

"Yes, you will, Elsa. You _will_. It might take a long time, but I'm gonna make sure I help you feel all the way better," Anna said firmly. "Does your wrist still hurt?"

Elsa lifted her injured wrist and held it in front of her face. "Eh, it stings, but it's all right, I suppose. I mean, I did cut it pretty badly. It's fine." She shrugged and laid it back on the bed. _Why does Anna even care? And she's not mad at me? If I was Anna, I'd be furious at me for doing that…_

_She's acting like it's no big deal, that it doesn't matter… _"Elsa, don't you ever, _ever_ do something like that again!" Anna exclaimed. "You promised me you wouldn't, and I want to believe that." Anna laid a hand on her sister's shoulder, remembering that was ok with Elsa, but nothing else.

Elsa closed her eyes and said nothing for a moment. Then she looked back at Anna and said, "I don't intend to…because I don't want to make you upset…" _And Anna would be upset about nothing. I'm still not going to do that to her, though…_

Anna frowned. _The reason Elsa won't do that again is because she doesn't want to make me upset?! Elsa doesn't care about herself at all…_ "Well, you just remember that I love you lots and lots, and that you are not not NOT worthless, no matter what." She paused before adding, "And Gerda said you had bruises on your hand. What happened?"

_Bruises? I didn't even notice…I know exactly what that's from though…_ Elsa blushed as she said, "I got mad and I…beat up on something hard. Guess I did it a little too much, huh?" She gave Anna a small smile and didn't say anything more. _That was a silly and immature thing to do. Beating up on ice…_

"You're supposed to beat up on pillows or something soft when you're mad, not something hard!" Anna scolded. "What did you do it to, the wall?"

"Not exactly. Please don't ask me anymore," Elsa replied. _I don't want to try explaining about the ice…_

Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "It's all right, Elsa. You don't have to think about it any more."

"Thank…you…Anna," Elsa murmured sleepily. _Why am I so tired?_

Anna realized her sister was falling asleep again and wondered if Elsa had slept at all the night before. Anyway, she was not going to disturb her sister, even if she would rather talk to Elsa longer instead. _I love you, Elsa. I wish I could get you to understand that; that you're really, truly worth caring about, too._ _I thought we were making some progress, but the whole shipwreck-slash-lost at sea thing has hurt Elsa all over again. I'm gonna help her no matter what. There isn't anything or anyone to stop me this time. _She glanced at the clock, noticing it was actually late and time to go to sleep herself now. Anna slid off the bed, being careful not to shake the bed and wake Elsa up. Then she got ready for bed herself before sliding into bed next to Elsa. Anna made sure to stay _way_ over on her half of the bed, just in case Elsa should wake up, so that she didn't freak out. "Good night, Elsa," she whispered.

Elsa didn't reply, but she smiled, as if Anna's words had somewhat registered to her.

**A/N: Ok, if you made it down here, I'm assuming I didn't offend you or anything.:) This is AS DARK AS IT GETS, I promise.:P I still can't believe I wrote this chapter...**

**I'd love comments on whether the whole thing is written properly or not (and the rating thing!). 'Cause I really, really don't want to raise the rating for part of one chapter.:P**

**Next chapter coming soon, and I promise it's a happier one:)**


	24. Close Again,,,But Not Too Close

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

**WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYONE LIKE MY DEPRESSING CHAPTERS?!:P 'Great', 'entertaining, 'tense', 'enjoyed'...okay then.:) Thanks for all the positive words, guys/gals/whoever you are:P:)**

**olaf99-I don't like making my readers cry.:/ Although I guess that means it was written well, right?:P Thanks, I'm glad you like my story:)**

**Optomistic-That's what I thought too. Warnings and then something happens anyhow are two big thumbs down to _anyone._ Personally I'd probably be really mad, but I didn't think that was really in character for Elsa. (Well, ok, she got a _little_ mad, but mostly upset.:/) I tried to make Elsa's reasoning for her actions believable-I guess I did if you understood why.:P Elsa needs a great big hug...I haven't got anything else to say.:/**

**Fatten Saad-Thanks:) I'm still a bit glad Elsa and Anna don't have to deal with their parents anymore.:P Although yeah, since neither of them actually _disliked_ their parents, both Elsa and Anna just got upset instead.:/**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thanks for the feedback about the trigger warning thing.:P I know Elsa and Anna spending lots of time together can't last forever since I still want the movie events to happen like they should, but I thought they needed a bit of time together after that.:) (Plus, I was thinking that Elsa really can't be left alone at the moment anyway. If they were in our world, Elsa would probably have to go to the hospital, I'm sure.:/) So...that's my excuse for letting Elsa and Anna spend a bit of time together.:)**

**ElsaIsAmazing-Thank you:) I'm glad both Elsa and Anna seemed believable:) And thanks for the idea. *fixes chapter 22* Ta-da, all fixed;) **

**_CHAPTER 23 RECAP: For anyone who decided to skip the last chapter...Elsa and Anna found out their parents were lost at sea. Elsa accidentally froze her room and attempted (a not very well thought out) suicide, but Anna stopped her. [no, she didn't find out about Elsa's powers.] Elsa went to sleep in Anna's room, annnddd...that's where this chapter picks up._**

**On to the story!:) Now we get some happy stuff for most of the chapter*yay***

Later that night, Elsa woke up with a start at some loud noise. _I didn't lose control, did I?! No, I didn't…wait, Anna's the one who's yelling this time. Not me._ Elsa bit her lip, wondering what to do. She didn't dare touch Anna with her hands, so she poked her elbow at Anna instead. "Anna, wake up! It's just a dream! Please…"

Anna thrashed about and accidentally smacked Elsa in the face.

"Ow!" Elsa exclaimed, jerking backwards. _Good grief, Anna whacked me in the face that one time when she was little, too._ She couldn't be mad though; Anna didn't even know what she was doing. Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on Anna's nightstand; then hesitantly poked Anna with her elbow again and said, "Wake up, Anna…please wake up!"

To Elsa's relief, Anna finally woke up, blinking in confusion. "Wait, what? What…why?! What the-what happened? Oh, thank goodness you're ok, Elsa!" Anna said all in one breath. Without thinking, she threw her arms around Elsa and hugged her close.

Elsa tensed up all over. _Elsa, don't you dare lose control. Anna doesn't even really realize what she did._ "Anna, I'm going to…try to help, but you _have_ to let go…of me first. I feel really, really…uncomfortable…"

Anna immediately released Elsa once she realized what she was doing. _Oops, big oops. I'm surprised Elsa didn't hightail it out of here. Good job, Elsa._ "Sorry, Elsa. I know that was way, _way_ too much for you. I just…there was this horrible dream, and I thought you were…and I…that is, we…well, I'm just so, so glad you're sitting right there and you're ok…" Anna started rambling.

"Well, um…I'm no expert on trying to make someone feel better, but maybe you could…tell me what happened?" Elsa suggested, holding her hands clasped together in her lap. She had absolutely no idea how to comfort Anna or calm her down. _Anna asked me to tell her what happened what it was me with the bad dream, so I think that's what I'm supposed to do now. I hope, anyways._

"Mom and Dad came back and found out what you were trying to do earlier and you thought they weren't real and they just let you go through with it and I couldn't do anything and IT WAS HORRIBLE!" Anna explained in a rush. _Wait a second…I'm over here fussing over a bad dream and poor Elsa is the one who literally tried to get rid of herself hours ago. And yet she's still trying to comfort _me._ Something's wrong with that picture…_

Elsa bit her lip, wondering what to say now. "Um…it wasn't real, Anna? Oh, Anna, I'm so bad at this! I don't know how to comfort other people. I don't even know how to comfort myself most of the time…which I guess is quite obvious…" _Elsa, you're Anna's older sister. Figure out what to say._ _That bad dream is partly your fault. _"Well…uh, I have no intentions of trying…anything like that again, so…that would never happen anyway."

Anna's heart went out to her sister, who was trying so hard to help Anna, even though she didn't really know how. _Elsa's clumsy comforting attempts really do make me happy, though. She's just too much…the silly girl never thinks of herself. She didn't go and say 'Good grief, Anna, you're so immature. How do you think _I_ feel?' or something. And she could have. It'd be totally understandable._ "Thanks, Elsa," she told her, giving her a smile.

"I helped?!" Elsa asked in surprise. _I was worried I was making things worse._

"Of course you did, Elsa. Why wouldn't you have?"

Elsa's face lit up. "I helped you, Anna!" she exclaimed happily. "I really did it!" _I helped Anna! I didn't really know how, but I did it anyway._

Anna smiled back at Elsa, thinking that she sounded like a very pleased and excited five-year-old, but Anna was certainly not going to tell Elsa that. Not when she was genuinely happy at the moment. "I'm glad you're happy, Elsa. You look totally over the moon at the moment!"

Elsa gave Anna a quizzical look. _Over the moon? Oh, oh yeah…idiom. Okay, I got it._ _Duh, Elsa! _"I had to think what you meant by 'over the moon' for a moment," she said sheepishly. "I forgot it was an idiom."

"Oops."

"Oops is right! Next time, warn me and say, 'idiom alert!' or something," Elsa responded in a deadpan voice. The only thing that gave away that she was teasing was the smile on her face. _Anna makes me so happy. I don't deserve to feel this happy, but I do anyway right now._

"We should hit the sack. Idiom alert!" Anna said, giggling. _Boy, sometimes Elsa can be so funny. I wish she joked around more often._ The only thing that dampened the moment for Anna was seeing Elsa's bandaged wrist, because it reminded her of what had almost happened to her sister the day before. (_Yes, it's after midnight, so it's yesterday now_, Anna noted.)

"Exactly, we should…go meet the sandman. Idiom alert!" Elsa replied, now giggling herself._ This is great. I love spending time with Anna. I wish it could be like this all the time, but I can't. It'd be wrong…still, I'll NEED help with government stuff. Maybe Anna and I could sneak a few jokes and fun stuff in when I work on that._ Right that second, Elsa decided that she would spend most of her time in her room and not reply to Anna; but whenever she had to take care of important business, she'd make sure Anna was there too. That way she wasn't disrespecting her late parents, but she wouldn't lose Anna completely, either. _It's better than no Anna at all, anyways,_ she told herself. Maybe she'd eat her meals with Anna too…after all, a girl had to eat, right? And somehow food was so much more appealing when she got to eat it with someone, especially her sister.

"Elsa, I forgot about the sandman! Do you remember when I believed he was real no matter how much you went on and on that he was pretend?" Anna asked. "Looking back now, it was hilarious. And then one time when I bugged you wayyy too much when you were trying to go to sleep, you said, 'Ooh, Anna, the sandman's gonna get you!' and THEN I was like, 'But you said he's not real, Elsa!'"

Elsa thought for a moment before laughing at the memory. "Typical big sis/little sis conversation, right?" she said. "How old were we? Three and six?" Then her expression grew serious and she added, "But Anna, I can't believe I actually wanted you to go away and leave me alone then…what a dumb little kid I was…I _hate_ telling you that now…" _I was naïve and stupid; that's what…_

"Elsa, you were a six-year-old girl trying to sleep while her toddler sister jumped all over her attempting to wake her up. You can't get mad at yourself for that," Anna replied. _Great, now I've made Elsa think of something that makes her upset…_

Elsa smiled faintly. _I guess that's true. But now I would rather be completely safe for Anna to be around and have her jump all over me every time I try to go to sleep than have our present reality. _"Your three-year-old self would have objected quite strongly to being called a toddler," she said.

Anna giggled and yawned. "You're funny, Elsa. I like your sense of humor."

"Thanks, Anna." Elsa found herself yawning now too. "I guess yawns are contagious?"

"Yeah…c'mon, Elsa, let's go to sleep. I love you."

Elsa turned out the lamp and scooched down under the covers. "I love you, too, Anna…thank you for saving me," she said quietly. "You're the best sister anyone could ever have." _I can never repay Anna for what she did, but I'm going to try. I can at least tell her thank-you._

"So are you, Elsa. You are really, really misguided sometimes, but I know you care about me and do your best about stuff. Like earlier, I could tell you had no idea how to comfort me about that icky dream, but you tried-and did!-anyway. And you could've gotten annoyed because I was fussing about a dumb dream and _you_ were the one who literally tried to…you-know-what; but you just tried to make_ me_ feel better instead," Anna told her.

"Anna, bad dreams aren't something to sneeze at. They can bother you for ages and make it hard to fall asleep. Believe me, I know…I think it was the least I could do to try to make you feel better," Elsa said.

"Still, dumping my issue on _you_ wasn't very thoughtful on my part. You've got enough stuff to deal with…" Anna yawned, then added, "'Scuse me."

_Boy, do I ever…Anna doesn't even know my biggest problem…_ "I don't care; making you feel better made me happier too. G'night, Anna," Elsa replied.

"Good night, Elsa."

Elsa smiled and scooted all the way over to the edge of the bed as far away from Anna as possible. _Don't want to hurt Anna…I don't think I will though…I'm happy right now._

* * *

To Anna's surprise, Elsa was still fast asleep when she woke up the next morning. "Gerda, what time is it?" Anna asked, noticing that Gerda was still in the room from the night before. She briefly wondered why, but decided that it was probably to keep an eye on Elsa, which was true.

"Almost ten in the morning. Yes, before you ask, your sister usually wakes up quite a bit earlier, but I figured she needed to sleep," Gerda said.

Anna frowned and glanced over at Elsa. "Yeah, she does. I don't wanna wake her up."

Just then, Elsa stirred and blinked in confusion at the ceiling. _Where am I? This isn't my room…wait, this is Anna's room…_ "Why am I in Anna's room?" she asked, pulling herself to a sitting position. "Oh…I remember now…Anna, I'm so sorry…I, well…I don't know…" _I can't even explain it. I should not have tried to do that. If anything, just so I don't make Anna all upset._

Anna reached to give Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Maybe you can try explaining again later. I'll be right here for you whenever you're ready."

"Thank you for not…pressing the issue, Anna." Elsa looked down at her hands and then promptly ducked her bandaged wrist under the covers, not wanting to see it anymore. _I don't know how to explain it. Why _did_ I try that? That was an awful and rash decision on my part. Stupid. I can't leave Anna with trying to run Arendelle herself. That's my job now._

"Um…d'you want some breakfast?" Anna asked.

Elsa blushed when her tummy made some rather loud noises. "Evidently yes. I do apologize for being so…rude." She glanced at Anna when she heard her start giggling. "Oh, Anna, your hair is _crazy_-looking right now!" Elsa exclaimed, starting to giggle herself. "It looks like you've got a family of little animals nesting in it!"

"Oh, this?" Anna said, patting her hair as if it were the latest style. "Didn't you know? Nesting places for little animals is the latest style! Everybody's wearing their hair like this!"

"I think I'll stay out of style then," Elsa replied, thinking Anna's antics were downright hilarious.

"Suit yourself."

"Girls don't wear suits," Elsa shot back.

"What about birthday suits?"

"_ANNA!_" Elsa squealed in embarrassment. "Seriously, you did _not_ just say that!"

"Seriously, I did. Why not? That's what everyone on the whole planet takes a bath in, right?" Anna said, still giggling.

"Indubitably," Elsa admitted. _It's a good thing nobody is in here to hear this conversation except Gerda. That'd be very embarrassing._

"Wait, what?"

"Wait, what what?"

"Wait what what…wait, _what_?" Anna asked, now mixing herself up.

"Wait what what, wait what what?" Elsa quickly replied. "Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this…" she added.

Anna was simultaneously annoyed that Elsa had completely befuddled Anna's original question's intention and pleased to see that sassy little smirk back on her sister's face. _Well, Elsa's pleased with herself at the moment. That's a VERY good thing, anyways. She thinks word games are the most amusing thing ever. _Thinking carefully for a minute before replying, Anna said, "Wait what what, wait what what? Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this. So can I, Elsa. You wanna admit defeat yet?"

Elsa smiled, quickly processing Anna's addition to the speech. "Wait what what, wait what what? Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this. So can I, Elsa. You wanna admit defeat yet? And the Word Queen's resounding answer is no way! Switch-ay to-hay ig-pay atin-lay?" Elsa thought switching to pig Latin might make her sister lose their game faster.

_Whoa, Elsa's good at this,_ Anna thought. "Wait what what, wait what what? Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this. So can I, Elsa. You wanna admit defeat yet? And the Word Queen's answer is no way. Switch-ay to-"

"The Word Queen reigns supreme!" Elsa exclaimed, interrupting. "You forgot 'resounding' from when I said 'and the Word Queen's resounding answer is no way'."

Anna pouted for a second before smiling at Elsa. _I'm not gonna make Elsa feel bad for winning a silly game. She deserves to pat herself on the back for once, even if it's over something so silly._ "Want to get some breakfast now?"

Elsa smiled back and nodded. "I'll just run down to my room and change my clothes first, okay?" _My room is probably still full of ice and snow. Terrific. _Elsa swung her legs off the bed and started to stand up; then promptly sat back down when the room seemed to spin around her. She blinked and shook her head. "Okay, take two here…" _That was really odd. Maybe I'm still tired or something, I don't know._

"Are you all right?" Anna asked.

"I think I just stood up too fast." Elsa's theory proved correct when she stood up this time with no issues.

"Mmkay…but I'm still gonna keep an eye on you anyway," Anna said, giving Elsa a smile.

Elsa smiled back before going down the hall to her own room.

* * *

The first thing Elsa noticed when she stepped into her room was that the now-reinstalled door wouldn't lock. Elsa frowned before realizing it was probably because whoever had put it back on knew what happened and thought she might try it again. _Well, I'm not. I won't. Because of Anna. As long as she's around, I know I can deal with anything. _She decided she was going to have a talk with Gerda about that lock; no lock at all was just as creepy to her as the door locking on the outside. _I want my privacy, thank you very much._

The second thing Elsa noticed was that every bit of the snow and ice had completely disappeared. Not just melted into puddles all over the floor. Completely, utterly vanished. Elsa just stared in shock. She had expected all that mess to take _days_ to melt. _What in the world happened?! I certainly don't mind…I'm not complaining, but what did it?! Is it simply because I wasn't in here last night or what? Oh, who cares why, it's gone and I don't have to look at it any more._ Elsa quickly pulled a dress out of her closet and put it on before brushing out her hair and rebraiding it. She made a face at herself in the mirror before twisting the braid into a bun and pinning it in place. _I still like my single braid better…_ Elsa was just getting ready to head back to Anna's room when she heard a knock on the door.

"Princess Elsa? Are you all right in there?" Gerda asked.

Elsa sighed and opened the door. "I'm _fine_. I was just getting ready to come back to Anna's room…Where are the tools for altering the locks? _Something_ has happened to mine," she said, giving Gerda a meaningful look that said _I know exactly what happened to it._

"They've been put away, princess." Figuring (correctly) that Elsa just wanted her privacy, Gerda added, "_No one_ is going to come in unless you give express permission, except if you need help again."

"I'm not going to do that again!" Elsa complained. "No lock at all creeps me out. If I don't get my lock back, I'm going to freeze the area around the doorknob every time I come in here instead."

"Princess, just for a while, please. Just to soothe your old servant's nerves, hmm?"

"Well…okay," Elsa agreed, albeit reluctantly. _Now that I'm thinking about it, Gerda has been more of a mother to me than my real mother. This is one thing I can do for her. _"But make sure Anna knows she can't come in unless I say she can…"

"She knows that already. I quote Princess Anna, 'Anything that's gonna make sure Elsa's ok', unquote."

Now Elsa smiled. _I'm…somewhat okay. I have something to be okay for now though. I'm going to be okay for Anna._ She took a deep breath before asking, "Gerda…do you think it's disrespectful to my parents' memory to not stay in my room twenty-four seven and ignore Anna? I don't think I can…deal with that again…I just feel like since it's partly my fault they died, then I should try to…honor their memory?" Elsa looked down at her hands and fiddled with her dress sleeve, trying to make sure her bandaged wrist was covered.

"Princess Elsa, it is _not_ your fault they died. You yourself told me outright that they would not have listened to you if you had warned them. If you want my honest opinion, princess, you should spend as much time with your sister that you're comfortable with," Gerda told her.

"I can eat meals with Anna?" Elsa asked hopefully.

Gerda frowned at her. "Princess Elsa, do whatever you want, for goodness sakes!" _She's the new queen of Arendelle and she's asking permission to eat in the dining hall…_

Just then, Anna came running down the hall. "Elsa, are you coming down for breakfast?"

Elsa looked at Gerda, who nodded at her to tell her to go ahead. "Yes…I can do that. I _can_ do that." _As much time with Anna as I'm comfortable with,_ she told herself.

Gerda headed downstairs, saying that she would fix the two girls' breakfasts in a jiffy.

* * *

Elsa stepped into the hall with Anna, pulling her door shut behind her. "I want my lock back soon," she told Anna.

"Yeah, well…about that…please don't be mad, but it was kinda my idea," Anna said, blushing a little. "I wanted to make sure you absolutely, positively could NOT be alone if something made you that upset again, even if you wouldn't open the door…"

_Figures. I believe it too; that's just like Anna to do something like that. _"Anna…I _will not_ do that again. I have something to keep me okay, sane, rational, in my right mind, whatever you want to call it. That something is _you_. I know that now." Elsa replied, looking her sister straight in the face.

Anna smiled at her sister. _Good grief, what a responsibility Elsa just gave me. If I'm the thing that's keeping her going, then I'm going to make sure I'm ALWAYS there for her. Always, always, always._ "Elsa…if you don't wanna answer this, it's ok, I'll understand. But why exactly did you try that?"

Elsa bit her lip and turned away from Anna. _I should tell her. She probably deserves to know; they were her parents too…but what if she hates me for it? _"Anna, I…that is…ifItellyouwillyoupleasenothateme?" she blurted in a rather Anna-like manner.

Anna reached to give Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I will not hate you no matter what you tell me. Besides, knowing you, whatever it is probably isn't your fault anyhow."

_That's what Gerda told me. Maybe Anna will think the same thing._ "I…knew there was a storm coming and I…didn't warn them. I was scared of being…put in the dungeon again, but mostly I just…wanted two weeks of freedom…_I killed them, Anna!_" Elsa crossed her arms around her middle and backed away a little. "I'll still understand if…you think I'm…horrible now..."

Anna frowned, thinking over what Elsa had just told her. _Elsa did that because she thinks the shipwreck was her fault?! She's gotta be kidding! Not only do I know for certain Mom and Dad wouldn't have believed her, those two reasons are completely legit. Good grief. _"Number one: Mom and Dad would not have believed you. Number two: Those reasons for not giving the warning are very, very legit in my mind. And number three…um, Elsa…do you remember just who suggested for you to not give storm warnings anymore in the first place?"

Elsa risked a glance at her sister. "You did…" _Anna did tell me that. She's right._

"Yep! So if it's anyone's fault, it's mine," Anna announced. "Except it's really _no one's_ fault. Come on, let's go get breakfast."

_Anna took the fault away from both of us…Ingenious._ Elsa still couldn't quite absolve herself from the whole thing entirely, but she felt much better. No, nothing she did was going to bring her parents back. Yes, maybe she should have given the warning. But if she had, she would have ended up in the dungeon for two weeks, and the exact same outcome would have occurred. _It didn't matter what I did; the shipwreck was going to happen anyway._ "Okay, Anna, let's go get breakfast. Your sister is finished with her introspection." Elsa smiled a bit at Anna, and the two of them headed downstairs.

* * *

At breakfast, Elsa was irritated when there was only a spoon by her place setting. "Gerda…I think you forgot the rest of my utensils," she announced, sounding just a bit miffed. When she didn't receive a reply, Elsa added, "I'm _not_ going to do anything! Good grief, you and Anna are right in front of me. Wouldn't that be a rather stupid thing to do on my part right now, even if I wanted to, which I don't?"

Gerda frowned at her, not liking that rather dark logic even if it _was_ true, and just said, "You eat cereal with a spoon, do you not, princess?"

"Well, yes…" Elsa briefly thought that maybe she would just use her authority to get the other utensils; then changed her mind. _I'm not going to abuse my authority just for that._ She sighed and began eating her cereal. "Thank you for breakfast, Gerda."

"Elsa, d'you think maybe we could…have a talk together when we're done eating?" Anna asked.

Elsa stiffened in her seat. _What on earth does Anna want to talk about?_ "It…depends on what we're going to be talking about," she replied.

"How's about we start talking and if you don't wanna talk anymore, we stop?" Anna offered.

"That sounds fair." Elsa relaxed a little and finished her breakfast. She stood up from the table and said, "I'm going to be in the study upstairs, all right? I probably should…try to send a sensible reply to Weselton, I suppose." _I really don't want to deal with that right now, but I need to._

* * *

The second Elsa was out of the dining hall, Gerda said, "Princess Anna, please hurry up and finish eating. I would rather your sister not be alone at all right now, and she likes being with you. If I stay around her, she feels like I'm fussing over her needlessly."

Anna stuffed her last bit of cereal in her mouth and jumped up. "Sure, of course. I don't want Elsa alone either! She needs people to stand by her and support her and whatnot…" She made a face before adding, "…'specially after what she tried to do yesterday. And yet, like, I kinda sorta understand why she did it. Mom and Dad hurt Elsa on the inside for so long she hasn't got anything good to think about herself anymore. Is it rotten that I think it's mostly-actually probably _all_-their fault that Elsa tried that? I do genuinely miss them and stuff, but…I don't know, somehow I'm more concerned about Elsa right now." Anna began biting a fingernail as she kept thinking. "And oh, oops, I just remembered I oughta be with Elsa right now instead of rambling. Sorry, Gerda!" She took off in the direction of the study.

* * *

Elsa jumped in surprise when she heard the door open to the study, and a thin sheen of frost appeared under her feet where she was sitting at the desk. "Anna, wait a minute, please!" she said frantically. _Great, just great. How am I going to explain that?!_

Anna had already waltzed into the room, but she didn't notice Elsa's little power mistake. "C'mon, Elsa, I wanna talk to you! Want to come to my room? I like having you in there…you know, 'cause it used to be both of us's."

Elsa looked down at the floor. _I know, Anna. I like being in there too…I wish it was still 'both of us's', horrible grammar or not._ "I'm sorry I ruined our relationship…sisters aren't supposed to abandon each other like I did to you," she whispered. "You have a horrible sister, Anna…" Elsa buried her head in her crossed arms on top of the desk. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel. You can't lose control in front of Anna, Elsa._ She flinched when Anna touched her shoulder, but she didn't otherwise protest.

"Elsa, it's all right. We can fix that," Anna told her. "And you are the absolute farthest thing from horrible. The _only_ horrible thing about you is the way you think about yourself. You've gotta stop thinking of yourself like you do."

"But I'm defec-"

"_No_, Elsa. You are most definitely not," Anna interrupted. "You come on to my room now. You can finish whatever letter thing you're doing later."

_Well, yeah, I guess I could… _Elsa followed Anna down the hall to her room.

* * *

Anna flopped on the floor in the middle of her room. "C'mon, Elsa, you sit too!"

"Okay." Elsa just sat on the floor a little ways from her sister. _What am I supposed to say?_

Anna relieved Elsa of the problem of not knowing what to say. "So, like I said, I wanted to have a talk with you about something."

Elsa frowned. "About what?"

"Just that, well, I've been thinking…I know this wasn't the first time you thought about trying that, just the first time it got that far. But before I couldn't talk to you or anything. So maybe, if you feel yourself starting to get thoughts about anything even _remotely_ about trying that again, you can tell me right away and then I'll try to make you feel better and make the icky depressing thoughts go away. What do you think, Elsa?"

Elsa couldn't resist Anna's hopeful grin. _That actually does sound like a good idea to me. _"I think that sounds like a very good idea."

"Awesome!" Anna was surprised but happy that Elsa agreed that quickly.

"There's just one thing, Anna…" Elsa paused before continuing, "It's just that…well, I don't want to end up dumping my problems on you…I don't want to be a bother. You shouldn't have to worry about fixing your sister's thought processes just because there's something wrong with her. It's not worth your time."

"Elsa, you wouldn't be 'dumping' anything on me or being a bother," Anna said firmly. "Why would I have offered in the first place then, Miss I-Always-Like-To-Be-Logical?"

Elsa smiled a bit at that. _True. Anna wouldn't have said that in the first place if she thought that. Anna's awesome._

"And no, I should not have to worry about fixing your thought processes, BUT ONLY 'CAUSE THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH 'EM IN THE FIRST PLACE! There is nothing wrong with you. I like you just the way you are, Elsa. You're my sister. Well, you could lose the awful depressing tendencies, yes. But other than that, you're perfect just being _you_. Oh yeah, and on the contrary to 'not worth your time', you are ALWAYS worth my time and then some." An idea popped into Anna's head, and she added, "Repeat after me: 'Anna loves Elsa because she deserves it.'"

Elsa shook her head. _Is she kidding me?! I can't say that._ "Anna, I…oh, never mind! I can't say that…it's not…true…"

Anna scrambled over to Elsa and laid a hand on her shoulder. "You don't gotta say it right now, but it _is_ true." She was determined not to push Elsa away again by trying to get her back to her old happy eight-year-old self too fast, too soon. "So if you're not going to say it, I'm going to tell you again. Anna loves Elsa 'cause she deserves it."

This time Elsa found herself mouthing the sentence along with her sister. The words felt funny and out of place on her tongue. _Anna loves Elsa 'cause she deserves it. Anna loves…_me_…'cause _I_…deserve it?_ _Could it be true, maybe a little? _"It can't be true," she whispered. Elsa pulled her knees to her chest. _I've _never_ been a good sister to Anna. Not since I hurt her when I was eight. I'm just an accident waiting to happen, and that incident when we were little just proves it._

"Elsa, it is too true. I love you, and you _do_ deserve it. You've spent way, way, way too long thinking you're worthless and hating yourself and whatever else. You can't do that anymore. I'm right here for you. _Always._" Anna paused, then added, "Ooh, I know! Tell me something about yourself you like, and concentrate on that!"

Elsa thought for a long minute before saying, "My sense of humor. I like it because it makes you laugh."

Anna resisted the urge to frown at Elsa's reasoning for choosing that particular thing. "Ok, that's a start. How about something you like about yourself that doesn't have anything to do with me?"

Elsa struggled to think of _something_, but she couldn't come up with anything. She glanced at her gloved hands and made a face. All she could think of right that moment was _I'm defective because I have ice powers I can't control and hurt Anna with when we were little._ "I'm sorry, Anna…I can't think of anything," Elsa admitted finally.

"Well, _I_ can think of lots of things. You're responsible. You have this great vocabulary-I've heard you say words I don't even know. You're pretty. You have really nice penmanship-I've seen it. You-"

"Okay, okay, Anna, that's enough," Elsa said, smiling. "I suppose I would agree with most of those things…except for me being pretty. I'm _okay_ looking, I guess, but I'm not going to make somebody drop dead with my looks. Average eighteen-year-old girl looks, hmm?" She hopped to her feet and went over to Anna's mirror. "Yes, I see an average-looking eighteen-year-old." _Except for that_, she thought, clasping her gloved hands behind her back out of sight of her reflection. Elsa stuck out her tongue at her reflection, making Anna giggle.

Anna went to stand next to her sister, making sure not to get too close. "You wanna know what _I_ see in the mirror right now?" Without waiting for a reply, she continued, "I see a pretty girl who picks on herself way too much and can be a bit pessimistic. I see my sweet older sister who's gonna be a great ruler for Arendelle. And then I see that girl's goofy little sister who loves her like crazy, is stubborn and impulsive, and is _always_ gonna be there for her sister. So yeah. That's what I see in the mirror."

Elsa suddenly remembered another time the two of them stood in front of this exact same mirror together when this room had belonged to both her and Anna. _'Nothing's ever gonna get between us,' seven-year-old Elsa vowed. 'Nothing but air,' four-year-old Anna replied. _Without considering what she was doing, Elsa slipped her hand into Anna's like her seven-year-old self had done.

"Whoa, Elsa, you just held my hand!" Anna blurted happily. A moment later, Elsa's gloved hand grew deathly cold and Anna frowned. "Elsa, why in the world is your hand so crazy stinking cold all of a sudden?"

Elsa's eyes grew wide and she immediately tried to yank her hand away from Anna. But Anna didn't let go, and Elsa's glove slipped off, making her feel even more frightened than she already did. Elsa clutched her bare hand to her chest and began backing away from her sister. _What was I thinking?! I touched Anna! What if I had frozen her hand or something? You're a thoughtless idiot, Elsa. You aren't that naïve little seven-year-old anymore. If you can't keep yourself from doing stupid things, then you need to go back to your room, Elsa._ "I need to go, Anna," she said quietly. Elsa turned and ran out of Anna's room back down to the hall to her own room. _What on earth was I thinking?_ "I wasn't thinking. That's the problem," she muttered to herself.

When Anna knocked on her door a minute later, Elsa bit her lip before replying, "I can't come out right now, but I'll see you at dinner." Elsa sighed. _This has to be the right thing to do…I can't spend all day with Anna all the time. It's too risky. I almost hurt her again this time, and I still had my gloves on. Stupid me…_

"Are you getting the icky depressing thoughts again or something, Elsa?" Anna asked in concern.

"No, Anna…it's…never mind, I can't explain. But I promise you it's not that," Elsa answered truthfully. _Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Conceal, don't feel. Elsa, you aren't going to lose Anna completely again. You can talk to her at meals and through the door. Calm down._

Now Anna was confused. "Why in the world can't you come out? You can't get in trouble for it-you're in charge!"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, but a single tear trickled down her cheek anyway. _I know I'm in charge. It has NOTHING to do with that! I just don't want to hurt you again. _"I'm just trying to protect you," she said softly.

_Not again. Please not again. _"Elsa, you're just hurting yourself by staying in there. You aren't going to hurt me. I _know_ you won't," Anna told her. She debated on opening Elsa's door, but decided against it, since she'd promised not to invade her sister's privacy.

Elsa didn't answer for a while. _Yeah, I am hurting myself, but I'd rather hurt myself than hurt you. So I'm staying in here. I spent ten years in complete isolation; I can deal with it now. At least I can talk to you through the door now. I can come out _sometimes_. I just can't spend time with you like I should be able to. _"I'm sorry, Anna…I'm really, really sorry."

**A/N: Sorry for the depressing chapter ending...:/ Anyway, if it's not clear, Elsa's near-mistake scared her from getting too close to Anna anymore, so she's decided to stay in her room most of the time, but eat her meals downstairs and talk to Anna through the door. So yeah...**

**Next chapter coming soon!:) It might be a bit longer than usual though because I have school stuff I need to catch up with-_- And I gotta do another one-shot for when Elsa and Anna are little:)**

**P.S. WHO'S EXCITED FOR FROZEN FEVER?! I'm going to see it either tomorrow or Saturday 'cause my sis and I are going to go see Cinderella.;) Did anyone buy the Frozen Fever junior novelization book? I did...and got fussed at for buying a book 'that's for eight-year-olds'.-_- Well...I don't care what they're going to say;) (Bad movie reference, huh?:P)**


	25. Misunderstandings

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**CieloFede-Thanks for reviewing!:) That's a nice compliment...*jumps around like a crazy person*MY STORY MAKES THE MOST SENSE! YAY!*calms down* (don't ask, sometimes I am crazyXD) I think I told you this via PM already, but I'll make sure to put that in the sequel to 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna':)**

**ACC123456789-Lol, I did get to see it last...Thursday, I believe? (Or was it Friday?:P) Anyway, IT WAS SO CUTE! I really, really liked Frozen Fever3:)**

**Fatten Saad-Here's the next update!;):)**

**olaf99-Lol, that's true.:P Elsa DOES go into the secret passages near the end of this chapter...:) Thanks!:) I'm surprised I got this chapter typed up even this soon...I still have a whole bunch of school stuff to do-_-:/ :P**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yeah, well...:/ That IS true, and it happens in this chapter:P **

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa stuck with her plan as the weeks and then months passed. Even though she was only seeing Anna at mealtimes and talking to her through the door, Elsa was still happier than she had been before the shipwreck. _I know it's rotten to feel this way, but I'm glad I can at least talk to Anna without getting in trouble, _she thought one December morning, which happened to be Anna's birthday. Elsa realized with a slightly bitter edge that she would have been much, much happier during those previous ten years if she had simply been allowed to _talk_ to her sister. No, it wasn't the same as seeing Anna face to face, and she still couldn't give Anna a hug or anything; but at least she wasn't completely isolated and lonely anymore. Just talking to Anna was enough to make Elsa happier.

The only trouble with the new situation was that the longer Elsa continued with it, Anna began sounding impatient and irritated when she talked to Elsa. And Elsa had no idea how to explain to Anna why she stayed in her room so much. Anna _knew_ Elsa didn't actually _want_ to shut her sister out, but Elsa had no logical explanation, which irritated both of them to no end.

So the two girls were beginning to grow apart again, despite their talks through the door. Those two/three weeks they had spent together drifted into the few happy but seemingly irretrievable memories Elsa had. _At least I had a _little_ bit of happy time with Anna. I'll just concentrate on that._

"Elsa…today's my birthday, so I was wondering if, you know, you'd come out, at least for today?" Anna asked from out in the hall.

Elsa bit her lip. _Surely I can make it through one day…I owe Anna that. She might be irritated with me, but she hasn't forgotten me._ "Okay…only for today." She quickly went to the door (Elsa was very happy she had her lock back now) and went into the hall with Anna. "Happy birthday, Anna."

"Thanks, Elsa." Anna reached to touch her sister's shoulder, but Elsa backed out of reach.

_I almost hurt her before…I can't let Anna touch me again._ Another voice niggled in her head, _You aren't going to hurt Anna if she just touches your shoulder and that's it. It'll be fine. But what if it isn't?_ the negative thoughts told her. Elsa's mind argued back and forth as she completely zoned out from reality. Finally, Elsa realized what was really happening.

"Earth to Elsa!" Anna said for the umpteenth time, gently shaking Elsa's shoulders.

"Anna, get away from me!" _Not safe…not safe… _Elsa backed away from her sister right into the hallway wall. _I suppose the negative side of my mind must have won, _she thought absently. Elsa's heart twisted when she saw Anna's hurt expression. "I'm sorry, Anna…I'm so, so sorry!" She darted back into her room and locked the door. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel. I hurt Anna's feelings. She probably feels like I did when Mom and Dad yanked her away from me during the hurricane and we were all in the cellar that one time._ Elsa buried her face in her hands and cried as snowflakes began falling around her. Hurting Anna was the absolute last thing on earth Elsa wanted to do. She could deal with herself getting hurt, but not Anna. _I wonder if Anna made that hurt, sad expression every time I told her to go away all that time._

"Elsa, please come out! I won't try to touch you again if you don't want me to!" Anna was confused; Elsa had let her touch her shoulder lots of times before, so what was the problem now? _Another step backward_, she thought sadly. How could Anna help Elsa feel better and more like her old self if she was reverting back to her old ways?

Elsa took a deep breath. "Just…give me a few minutes…I'm coming. I'm sorry I'm messing up your birthday. Again." _Calm down, Elsa. Calm down. You have to spend your sister's own birthday with her. You've missed enough of them. Make the snowflakes stop falling._ She wiped her eyes and started pacing. The falling snowflakes followed her, much to her dismay. _Why won't they go away?!_

* * *

Outside in the hall, Anna wondered what to do. She knew Elsa was upset about something, although she didn't know what. _I shouldn't make Elsa feel like she's forced to come out. That probably hurts her just as much as staying in there all the time does, 'cause she thinks _I'm_ hurt and upset too. Which is kinda true, but I can't do that to Elsa. _"It's ok if you don't wanna come out," Anna said. "I won't bother you anymore."

Elsa misinterpreted that comment to mean that Anna didn't want her around anymore. _But I like you bothering me. Please don't hate me. I'll understand if you do, but I can't deal with it. _She went to sit in the window seat and said nothing. Elsa bit her lip and blinked back tears. All she'd wanted was a few minutes by herself before she spent the one day with Anna. _It was too much. I've shut Anna out for too long._

The rest of that day was horrible for both Elsa and Anna. Both of them thought that the other just didn't want to be with her, and it hurt.

* * *

By spring, Elsa and Anna still hadn't said a word to each other aside from a 'Good morning' or 'Good night' at a meal. Finally Elsa couldn't stand it any longer. Early one morning, she ran down the hall to Anna's room and stuck a letter under her door. Letters were safe.

Elsa felt much better when she arrived back in her room. _There. Maybe Anna will reply. I can't expect her to, but I hope she does._

Anna found Elsa's letter an hour and a half later when she woke up after she got dressed. "A letter from Elsa?" she questioned. She quickly unfolded it and started reading. _'Dear Anna, I'm so, so sorry for what I did on your birthday last year. I know you thought you were bothering me, but I _like_ you bothering me. I do understand completely if you hate me now, but-'_ Here Anna squinted, trying to read what Elsa had crossed out. _'-but I don't know if I can deal with it. I'm sorry I'm a useless, defective sister to you.' _ Anna's eyes filled with tears as she realized exactly what Elsa must have thought. _She thought I didn't want her around anymore. Oh, Elsa…_ Anna blinked a few times; then continued reading. _'I know I act like an unpredictable dummy all the time, but I do love you and care about you. I just don't want to hurt you. I really, truly miss that short time we had together, but that wasn't safe. I'm dangerous…I could have hurt you. What I did was selfish. I just wanted to really be just two normal sisters together again, but we can't. I wanted to fix everything, but I couldn't. Your sister is a failure. I'm really, really sorry. For everything. Can you forgive me, Anna? Please? Your sister, Elsa.'_

Anna clutched Elsa's apology letter close. "Elsa thinks I hate her, that I don't want her around," she whispered. "She still thinks she's dangerous and defective…" _What did Mom and Dad do to her? Actually, I know exactly what happened to her. Elsa got mistreated for so long she thinks that's the way she's supposed to be treated, that those things are true. How can I help Elsa if she won't come out of that room? She wants to fix things but genuinely believes she can't._ Anna had no idea what to do, but she could at least tell Elsa the truth. She took off down the hall and knocked on Elsa's door.

* * *

Inside her room, Elsa was hesitantly hopeful when she heard Anna's signature knock. _Maybe Anna understands, at least a little bit._

"Elsa, I got your letter. I just wanted you to know I do NOT hate you. I DO want you around. I thought you wanted to be left alone that day, that's all. It was not because I didn't want you there," Anna said.

Elsa smiled a little. "You don't hate me? Even though I can't fix everything?"

"I do not hate you, and I never will," Anna replied sincerely. "I might be a bit mad at you sometimes," she continued, trying to be honest, "but I do _NOT_ hate you. I love you, and I always will. Although I still don't understand why you can't just come out. I know you still think you're dangerous and defective and whatever else, but it IS NOT true."

_But it is true. Anna doesn't know what's wrong with me,_ Elsa thought, backing away from the sharp icicles that had somehow appeared on the floor. _And those things prove it. Where did those icicles come from?! I wasn't _that_ upset, just a little._ Elsa yelped as she backed into something and tripped, landing hard on the floor. "Ow!" she exclaimed. _I hate this. What did I do now? Fell on my own ice. Clumsy._

"Elsa, are you all right in there? What happened?" Anna asked.

Elsa slowly got to her feet and glared angrily at the icicles. She was fine; her ankle was a bit sore, but it wasn't killing her to walk on it or anything. "I'm fine. I just slipped and fell."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Elsa answered. _Get out of here, icicles. Nobody wants you here. You keep me away from my sister. You make me dangerous. You made me hurt Anna!_ "But…that's _part_ of me! It's really all my fault!" she exclaimed, feeling contemptuously disgusted about her own self. Elsa stared down at the icicles on the floor as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can't do anything about it! It doesn't matter what I do…I'm still dangerous…defective…monster…aberrant freak…I CAN'T FIX IT!" Suddenly Elsa felt just plain angry. If she couldn't fix anything, then why should she try any longer? In a flash, her gloves were tossed in a corner and her hair was pulled down in a single braid down her back. _This is me_, she thought, looking at herself in the mirror. _Or wait, no it isn't._ Elsa suddenly remembered something that she had done when she was little. Something she had gotten in trouble for at the time. She closed her eyes, trying to remember exactly how she had done it. _I just kinda spun around and it happened…I thought I was making snowflakes. Well, I don't care. I'm doing it now. So there._ Elsa spun around and thought snowflakes. She was rewarded with a burst of snow from each palm. _That wasn't right. I'm trying something different._ Elsa's bare hands flew to her shoulders, and she started thinking 'dress' as she dropped her hands down her skirt to the floor. Now she smiled. _It worked! It really, really worked!_ Her navy blue dress was now a sparkling blue…_thing_ that exposed her shoulders and cascaded in a twirl to the floor.

_Ice-dress,_ she thought, looking in the mirror once again. _That's what Mom and Dad called it. Well, you know what? This is me. I'm still defective and dangerous and whatever else, but that girl in the mirror is who I really am. I actually _like_ the way that girl looks, abnormal or no. She looks pretty and…invincible, like nothing could ever bother her. _"Except that's not me, either," Elsa said to herself, crossing her arms around her middle as she turned away from the mirror. "I'm not invincible. _Everything _bothers me. My own self bothers me."

* * *

Anna still stood outside Elsa's door, listening, hoping Elsa would say something that would give her a clue as to what was going on. _What's Elsa's fault? What can't she do anything about? And she went and called herself all those names…Again. What's 'not Elsa either'? _Anna was just more confused than ever. Nothing she heard Elsa say made sense to her.

* * *

Elsa wished she knew how to get rid of that sparkly blue ice-dress, but a tiny part of her actually wanted to keep it. To remind her of the actually nice things she could make because of what she considered her disability. To remind her that she had, at one time, been able to control it and therefore should be able to again eventually. She remembered what five-year-old Anna had told her when she'd seen Elsa's creation. _'I think Elsa looks pretty. Kinda grown-up. And sparkly.'_ "I wish I could-" Elsa's voice cracked, and she finished her sentence in her head instead. _I wish I could show Anna. But Anna won't want to know. I hurt her when we were little…I _should _tell her…she deserves to know. At least she would know why I act the way I do._ She ran over to the door and said, "Anna…are you still there?"

"Yeah!" Anna said excitedly. "What is it?"

Elsa bit her lip and clasped her hands together. _This is it. My worst secret…_ "Anna, I…I, um…that is…" _Tell her, Elsa. Just one sentence. 'I have ice powers I can't control.' That's it._

"Elsa?" Anna asked. "Go on…" she prompted.

Elsa tried again. "Anna, I have i-" she started to say. _I can't do it. What if Anna hates me? What if she wants to lock me in the dungeon like Mom and Dad did because of it? What if she's scared of me? I can't lose Anna entirely again. I'd probably die or go crazy. Literally._

"Elsa, whatever it is, it's all right. Go ahead and say it," Anna said softly. _I won't hate you no matter what it is. Elsa, you have i- WHAT?_

"Anna…I have i-" Elsa was shaking all over, her eyes scrunched tightly shut, as she tried once again to tell Anna. "I-I…I have…" _I can't do it. What's wrong with me? Why is it so impossible to say seven simple words? _"ANNA, I CAN'T TELL YOU!" she finally exploded. "There's something seriously wrong with me that can't be cured and I…and I can't tell you what it is!"

Anna frowned. "What on earth could possibly be so wrong with you that you're too terrified to tell me what it is?"

"You'd be surprised," Elsa said quietly.

"Elsa, I wouldn't care even if you had some disease that was deathly contagious. Which I know you don't, but anyways… You'd still just be my sweet older sister. I don't know what…certain people told you, but I don't care what it is; you should not have been mistreated like you were for ten years. It was _wrong_," Anna said firmly. "And just for argument's sake…let's just there _was_ something seriously wrong with you that couldn't be cured. That just makes the way you were treated all the worse."

"But I…I think I deserved it," Elsa whispered from inside her room. _I hurt Anna. What was I thinking, going off making a stupid ice-dress like I did when I was little, even if it is pretty? I don't even know how to get rid of it._

Anna clenched her hands into angry fists. _Elsa's gotta be kidding. She did NOT deserve that. AT. ALL. _She'd been trying to make Elsa feel better, but it didn't seem to be working. An idea suddenly popped into Anna's head, one that didn't try to make Elsa think differently about herself, but would make her question the way she had been treated in the past at least. "Elsa…answer this then. You keep saying there's something seriously wrong with you that can't be cured. If _you_ knew a young girl who was seriously ill or disabled or whatever, would you lock her in her room, chain her in the dungeon, or keep her from talking to her sister?"

"No…" Elsa said softly.

"So what would you do with her?" Anna prompted.

Elsa thought for a minute before saying, "I don't know. If she'd let me, I'd hold her and give her a hug." _That's what I want. And I can't have it._ "And tell her that everything would be fine eventually. That I still cared about her even if she was messed up. That she was perfectly fine just the way she was. I'd try to make sure she felt…accepted. Normal." _What on earth did I just blather at Anna?! Those are all things I wish Mom and Dad had done for me. _Elsa's eyes welled with tears, and she roughly wiped them away. _Quit crying, Elsa. You know it's not the same thing for you. You're dangerous. _Another thought popped into her head, _But they didn't _really _accept or approve of me even before the accident. And I did know how to control it then. Why can't I control it now?_

Anna bit her lip, determined not to start screaming or bawling or something. _Elsa just told me what she herself wants. She gave herself away, probably completely unwittingly, when she said '_If she'd let me,_ I'd hold her and give her a hug.' Why did Mom and Dad treat her like they did? How did they not realize they were hurting her all that time?! Because it's way obvious to me. And Elsa was only eight when all this started. EIGHT! She was just a little girl! All she wanted was her own family to love and accept her, and Mom and Dad took that away from her. Elsa is _still_ hurting inside, even now that they're gone. I know she knows I care about her, but she still thinks she doesn't deserve any better than what she got for the last ten years. _Anna finally replied, "Then Elsa, don't you think you ought to be treated the same way like you just said?"

Elsa's legs suddenly buckled under her and she collapsed to the floor. _Anna, you just…tried the logic thing on me, but you missed one thing. If I were terminally ill or couldn't walk or something, I still wouldn't be dangerous. That's my problem. My disability made me hurt Anna. I could have killed her! _"No, I don't," she answered after a long pause.

"Why ever not?" Anna asked in surprise. _I thought for sure that would work._

"Because I'm dangerous, Anna!" Elsa exclaimed. "Look, if I couldn't walk or something, that'd be different. I wish that _was_ what was wrong with me, actually…at least then I could safely spend time with you…" she trailed off.

"Elsa…" Anna paused, wondering what to say. _What on earth do I say to her? She just told me she wished she couldn't walk instead of…whatever she's convinced is wrong with her, just so she could spend time with me._

After a long silence, Elsa finally said, "See, Anna? Even you, the eternal Miss Optimist, can't come up with anything. I'm a lost cause."

Anna thought for a moment before saying, "Open the door in five minutes, Elsa, or I'm going to pick the lock. And I mean it." _I need to see her. And not at dinner._

Elsa figuratively froze before frantically taking off that ice-dress and sticking it _way_ in the back of her closet before putting on one of her regular dresses and pulling her gloves back on. She knew Anna meant what she said. _Okay, calm down, Elsa. You can talk to Anna for a minute. _Elsa went to her door and took a deep breath before opening the door. "Here I am, Anna."

Before Elsa could protest, Anna grabbed her and hugged her close. "I don't care what's wrong with you or what you think is wrong with you. _I_ care about you, Elsa. What happened to you was wrong. You deserve better. Ok, I'll stop terrorizing you with hugs now," Anna finished and finally stepped away from Elsa.

Elsa was still reeling a bit from the sudden hug from Anna. "Too…much for me…what if I hurt you?" she asked, holding her hands close to her chest. _Anna cares about…me…_

"Did you even hear anything I said?" Anna asked, frowning a bit.

Elsa nodded but said nothing. _Yeah, I did. But you still don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm too chicken to tell you what it is. Why can't I tell her?_

"Well, it's true, Elsa. And one more thing…even if you were dangerous, which I don't believe in the least, I know it wouldn't be your fault. So I wouldn't care. I'd love you lots anyway," Anna told her.

"You…would?" Elsa tilted her head to one side, considering what her sister had just told her. "You wouldn't think I'm a…a…monster?" Elsa's pained blue eyes gazed at Anna, wanting to hope for a positive answer but not quite daring to.

Anna could see the long-standing hurt in her sister's eyes. _What has she been told and convinced that I don't know about? _"_No,_ Elsa, I would most certainly not think you're a monster," she said firmly. She slowly reached for Elsa's shoulder, giving Elsa a chance to back away if she wanted to. Elsa didn't. Anna gently laid her hand on her sister's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Can't you tell me what's the matter? I _promise_ I'm not going to hate you for whatever it is."

Elsa opened her mouth to say something; then clamped it shut again. She closed her eyes and thought for a minute. _I should tell her. But what if…what if Anna doesn't want me around anymore? I'm quite sure she wouldn't expect my real problem at all. She just thinks I have something I only _think_ is wrong with me. _"Anna, I…I can't tell you right now. Maybe someday, but not today. I'm just…not ready…" _Once I figure out how to control it, if I do, I can tell Anna. At least then I wouldn't be a danger to her._

"Ok, Elsa. You can try telling me another time." Anna sighed, but she didn't press the issue. _I wish Elsa would just tell me. There probably isn't anything wrong with her in the first place anyway._

Elsa gave Anna just a hint of a smile and said, "Thank you for not…trying to make me explain." Then she darted back in her room and locked the door. _Why am I such a stupid scaredy-cat? I really should tell her…I'm being selfish because I'm scared of what Anna's reaction would be._

Anna stuck out her tongue at Elsa's door. _Why did Elsa just disappear like that? Dumb door. I want my sister! _"I guess I'll see you at dinner then?" Anna asked.

"I'll see you at dinner," Elsa repeated. _Anna, I really, really appreciate you still being willing to talk to me._

"I love you, Elsa," Anna said.

_Me, too. I love you too, Anna. _Elsa smiled a bit from the other side of the door and said nothing.

* * *

By summer, the two of them talked more at meals, although Elsa still retreated into her room or the study the rest of the time. Anna wished Elsa would start opening up more and, quite honestly, was growing irritated about the whole thing; but she tried her best not to sound irritated when she did get to talk to Elsa. She didn't want to risk hurting Elsa's feelings when she was quite sure that her sister's fragile emotional state-Anna refused to call it Elsa's personality since it was _not_ Elsa's happy self-probably couldn't take it. So Anna kept her irritation to herself.

For her part, Elsa actually did know that Anna was becoming a bit irritated with her, but she didn't blame Anna one bit. _I'd be irritated with me, too._ But she let Anna continue thinking that she didn't know that Anna was irritated with her, since she knew Anna didn't mean for her to know.

* * *

Elsa's nineteenth birthday would have come and gone uneventfully if she hadn't found Certain Things delivered to what was now _her_ desk in the study. She ripped open the first letter. _My eyes must be deceiving me, right? _she thought.

She reread the letter.

Opened the next one.

Read that one twice.

Opened the third one.

Read that one twice.

"THEY HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" she exploded finally. _No, no, no! No way am I doing that. Even if I wasn't…messed up, I would not agree to that._ She had received letters like these before, but never three on the same day, and never ones so annoyingly insistent.

Anna heard Elsa's shouting and came knocking on the study door. "Can I come in, Elsa? What's the matter?"

Elsa strode to the door, willing herself to stay calm, and threw the door open. "Hi, Anna," she snapped.

"Whoa, what's got you all unruffled?" Anna asked. _She can't be mad at me 'cause she was mad before she let me in._

"This!" Elsa balled up one letter and threw it across the room to Anna. "And this!" she threw the second one "and this!" she threw the third one. "What do they think I am, a stupid, simpering idiot girl who swoons and falls in a dead faint at the thought of getting married?! I might be helpless to fix most things, but I do _not_ need that kind of help!"

Anna smoothed out one of the letters and immediately knew what had irritated her sister so much. She couldn't help but start giggling.

"It's not funny! I'm not accepting any _arranged marriages_ for political reasons! I wouldn't do that even if I were normal and not messed up," Elsa said firmly. "Aw, the poor little girl has lost her parents and needs a shoulder to cry on and help governing her kingdom!" she exclaimed sarcastically. "Well, I _don't_; I'm fine on my own and just because I'm a young single girl does not mean I can't take care of my country! If and when I need help, my sister can give me any assistance I need. So there."

Anna didn't quite understand Elsa's suddenly volatile mood. "Elsa…usually girls from a royal family your age _are_ already betrothed or married. You're nineteen, not nine…And besides, maybe a romance would be good for you!" Anna suddenly became more animated, thinking that maybe Elsa _should_ accept one of those marriage/betrothal offers. In books Anna had read, if the girl was upset, lots of times a guy would come sweep her off her feet and make her happy again. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea, Elsa! Maybe you could fall in love and live happily ever after!" she exclaimed, ever the diehard romantic.

Elsa made a face. _Anna is crazy! What does she think this is, a fairy tale? Blech on the romance scene is what I say. _"Anna, not only am I…messed up and defective and therefore not safe for anyone to be around, let alone get married to; arranged marriages are not going to come out like something you read in a book. The guy could be a creep. He could be abusive. He could be disagreeable, bossy, _anything_. I have no way of knowing. And most importantly, what if I don't agree with things he wants to do politically for Arendelle? I will not relinquish my authority to someone I don't even know or trust. Just no. Absolutely not. I can mess things up enough on my own, thank you very much." She paused and then added, "I'm still highly insulted that they think a girl needs to get married 'for the good of her kingdom' because she's 'still mourning her late parents' and is 'only a young girl, anyway'. Allow me to throw up now. I've done my grieving in my own way, and it has not affected my ability or non-ability to take care of Arendelle properly. Well, it doesn't _now…_" _Other things affect my ruling capabilities, but being a young girl isn't one of them._

"You didn't go to the funeral service," Anna pointed out. "What are people supposed to think? That wasn't the norm thing for you to do…And lemme just say your 'grieving in your own way' was a rotten, stupid way to deal with things and involved trying to commit s-"

Elsa jerked backwards as though she had been slapped. "_Don't_ finish that," she interrupted. "Just _don't_." She had no idea what to think. How could Anna throw that in her face? And on the other hand, didn't Anna have the right to do that?

Anna clamped her mouth shut when she realized what she'd just been snapping at her sister. She was more than a little annoyed though that Elsa had completely shot down her ideas for romance…and besides, how could Elsa know any more about such things than Anna did? Both of them had been cooped up in the castle since they were little. "How are you going to have an heir then?" Anna said finally.

Elsa was cut to the quick by Anna's previous comments, and now Anna was just saying a snarky question to her as a comeback. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._ Elsa closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "You are next in line to the throne, Anna. I needn't worry about having an heir at present. Go read up on Queen Elizabeth I. She never got married."

"What if something happened to me? Then what would you do? Make Rapunzel next in line to Arendelle's throne?"

_And why not? _"Get out, Anna. Get out of this room. Now," Elsa said in a tone so quiet it seemed a bit menacing. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._

"I still think-"

"_Out! _Before I end up doing something I don't want to do!" Elsa glared at Anna and pointed at the door.

Now Anna was thoroughly angry. "Just what are you going to do, _Queen_ Elsa? Put me in the d-"

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. "Do you really think I would do that to you?" she whispered miserably. _Calm down, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel. It's nothing like that, Anna. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you._ Without waiting for Anna's reply, she added, "I need to go," and dashed for the door, hoping she could make it to her room before losing control.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna exclaimed, finally realizing that she had told Elsa the absolute worst things she could have said. _Oops. Big, big oops. Me and my big mouth._

Elsa slowly turned back toward Anna. "Don't bother. If that's the way you really feel about me, it's fine. You only spoke the truth," she said quietly. "Except about the dungeon. I would _never_ do that." She turned back to the door and ran down the hall to her own room. _Why am I so upset? Anna was right. People _are _going to think I'm incompetent since I didn't even go to the funeral. And trying to do what I did _was_ stupid and rotten. I think it was the fact that she suggested, even in jest, that I might put her in the dungeon because I was mad…that's what's so upsetting._ Elsa threw herself on her bed and cried her heart out. It _hurt_ so much that Anna had said those things to her, even in the heat of anger.

Anna felt horrible when she saw Elsa's heartbroken expression right before Elsa had run off down the hall. _I just…broke Elsa inside. Took away whatever bit of Elsa that had just barely started to heal from all those wrong feelings about herself. How could I do that to her?! I've gotta apologize. _She wished she hadn't said those things to her sister, but it was too late. You can't take words back after you say them. Anna had a sick feeling that a simple apology was _not_ going to fix everything, but she had to try.

* * *

Elsa had calmed herself down some by the time she heard Anna's knock on the door a few minutes later. "Go away, Anna…" _Why is she knocking now?_

Anna bit her lip. "I just wanted to apologize, Elsa. I shouldn't have said those things to you. It was mean. I was mad and I spoke without thinking, y'know what I mean?"

"Don't patronize me, Anna. If you spoke without thinking, then deep down inside you really believe those things. What you said was the truth anyway…I was just foolish for hoping that maybe, just _maybe_, I didn't have to be a stupid, rotten abnormal freak all the time." _You were helping me feel a little bit better about myself…Not a lot, but some, just a bit. _"I didn't want to accept it. Just leave me alone." Elsa sounded completely detached from what she was talking about, aside from the slight tremor in her voice.

"Elsa…I really am sorry! I didn't mean to say those things! Everybody says things they don't mean when they're angry!"

"Didn't mean to say them because you didn't want to hurt my feelings or didn't mean to say them because you genuinely didn't mean them?" Elsa asked quietly. "Anna, things people say when they're angry are usually simple exaggerations of the truth. They _are_ partly true."

"Well, yeah, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but-"

Elsa struggled to blink away tears on the other side of the door. "The defective girl who everyone thinks is incompetent to take care of her country as well rests her case. You just admitted it out loud," she interrupted. "Anna, leave me alone. You're just making everything worse. Go away."

_But I really didn't mean them, either,_ Anna finished in her head. What was she supposed to say to Elsa? "Elsa…will I see you at dinner? It is your birthday, after all…"

"I don't know," Elsa said flatly. _Meh, I don't care whether it's my birthday or not. Nineteen, eighteen, what's the difference? I don't feel nineteen right now…I may as well be nine. And I _really_ may as well be nine. I'm still that scared, out of control little girl. Those ten years since then haven't fixed anything. This is going into ELEVEN years now. Eight…nineteen…more than a decade._

Anna sighed. _I just made her think she has to stay in her room all the time again. _"I hope you decide to come down, Elsa," she said finally.

Elsa stayed quiet. Maybe she would come down later; maybe she wouldn't. She really hadn't decided yet. _Why should I go downstairs? Does Anna even really want me there or is she just trying to make me feel better? I have no idea._ Elsa slipped into the secret passages, something she hadn't done for awhile. She just wanted to take a walk without risking running into anyone. Elsa headed straight for the entrance into the forest and slid the secret door up when she got there. _I wish I could go outside again. But I can't. There's no one to come get me this time if someone found me again. _She plopped down on the floor just inside the passage and stared outside. _I wish I hadn't heard Anna say those things. I'd have rather not known at all. 'Ignorance is bliss'…yeah, definitely true in this case._ Elsa decided if she received any more of the annoying marriage offers, she was simply going to reply, 'I must respectfully decline your offer at this time' and nothing else. Short and to the point and everyone would know she meant business.

The only real issue she had with refusing any and all offers was that she could potentially harm Arendelle's trading and economy if other nations refused to do business with her since she was, after all, a recluse young female ruler. She hadn't left the castle since she was eight; nobody would know what to make of her, whether she was knowledgeable regarding statecraft or a simpleminded girl who had authority just because of her birthright. There was also the trouble that because Elsa was just barely nineteen and therefore not of age yet, she still didn't have the absolute authority the monarch of Arendelle would have. She could conduct business, yes, but she didn't have the authority to repeal laws or put new ones in effect. It was actually rather complicated. Elsa still had to sign documents as 'Crown Princess Elsa on behalf of the late King Agdar and Queen Idun' or something else similar. If Anna asked her to open the gates, Elsa literally could not make that happen because her parents' ruling that the gates stayed closed was still in effect. Of course, Elsa supposed that she probably couldn't get in trouble for such a thing since she was still the highest-ranking person of authority in Arendelle, but the circumstances were…unique. To put it simply, Elsa was regent, ruling in her parents' stead with no actual power of her own, until she turned twenty-one.

At which time Elsa would have to have her coronation, which she was absolutely, positively _not_ looking forward to. A public ceremony, a party at the castle with tons of people…Elsa shuddered at the prospect. Luckily it was two whole years away, so she didn't have to dwell on it at the moment.

**A/N: Ok, so I made up a little bit of stuff on how Arendelle's government works:P This is _not_ based off anything I read, so if it's not like a real life absolute monarchy government should be, oh well.:) I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED FOR MOST OF HISTORY; I AM NOT HAVING ANY ARRANGED MARRIAGES! *barf* _especially_ considering that Elsa still has no idea how to control her powers at this point and really can't have anyone in the castle. And besides...there were no arranged marriages in the movie.:P Sorry Anna, your ideas of romance aren't gonna fly anywhere except your imagination:P**

**And yeah, they've kinda cooked up an awful mess between them at the moment...big, _big_ misunderstanding.:/**

**Next chapter coming soon...although like before, it'll probably be longer than usual because of school stuff.:/ :P**


	26. Getting Ready for Christmas

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Fatten Saad-Elsa really needs to sit and just think for a minute...she knows Anna blathers without thinking:/ **

**WarriorQueen 14-Well, Elsa and Anna are going to be happy for a little while again in this chapter.:) And thanks! I HATE angsty depressing stuff in real life; I guess I'm letting it out in my story instead:P We should be getting to the coronation and stuff soon, so then they'll be on their way to their happy ending:)**

**Frozen ForEvah-I'm glad you're enjoying it! It's going to stay in canon, so there's lots more story to go:)**

**olaf99-Yes, Elsa and Anna get to be happy for part of this chapter:) Hmm...I'm sure I can work that in. Tornado and they get to spend time together in the cellar in one of the next two chapters; got it. Sounds good:)**

**dmcreif-Personally I'm totally with Elsa on that whole thing.:P The whole arranged betrothal/marriage thing is rather off-putting to me, Although, yeah, Anna does have a point about that. They're 19 and almost 16 at this point...I think DEFINITELY Elsa and probably Anna would have already been betrothed or married if 1)Elsa didn't have ice powers she can't control and/or 2)their parents were still there. And thanks!:) I always thought Elsa had to have taken care of Arendelle herself in that 3-year interim...but since she's underage, she wouldn't have complete authority. So, yeah...:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Hey sis...have you been talking to Anna or something?:P Because you sound just like herXD**

**szczygowa-No need to apologize!:) I'm glad you enjoy it! And I'm pleased to know it's unique.:)**

**On to the story! (I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG WAIT.:/ It's school, what else?:P)**

Elsa didn't come downstairs for dinner on her birthday, or any meals at all for a long while. She resorted to getting food out of the kitchen herself, much as she had done before the shipwreck. The only time she left her room was to check on political messages and things in the study. Elsa thought that Anna didn't really want to be around her, that Anna just tried to make amends with her because she didn't want to hurt Elsa's feelings; but she couldn't have been more wrong. Anna sorely regretted that outburst and wished Elsa would listen to her. But Elsa, having grown up for all those years convinced that she was abnormal and not worth caring about, couldn't reconcile herself with the fact that Anna really had just been blathering in the heat of anger.

There was also the fact that everything Anna had said (except for the part about the dungeon) had been mostly true in the first place. Elsa felt like she was being a selfish creep for not being able to simply accept the facts. _I've told myself those things countless times, so why does it bother me so much that Anna said them to my face? I have no idea…_

The months passed uneventfully. Elsa turned down several more marriage/betrothal offers, including two that had been for Anna, to Elsa's utter chagrin. Her sister wasn't even sixteen yet, for goodness sakes! Elsa knew those offers kept coming because despite the fact that her country was under the care of an inexperienced nineteen-year-old girl no one had seen for more than a decade, Arendelle was still a prospering, independent nation. Arendelle would be valuable to other countries for alliances and trade. If she were to accept one of those offers for either Anna or herself or both, she would be sealing a political alliance of some type. Elsa began to wonder if she was making the wrong decision for her country by not backing down from her decision, but she knew it wasn't safe for her to have any unknown men in the castle. And if she accepted one of the offers for Anna, she was declaring that that nation was superior in rank to her own. _Definitely_ not what she wanted. Plus there was the fact that Elsa was still outraged by the whole marriage-for-political-reasons thing in the first place. No, she was sticking with her decision. If Arendelle began having economic difficulties, then maybe she would reconsider.

* * *

By Anna's birthday, the two girls still hadn't made up. Anna came knocking on Elsa's door nearly every day, but more often than not, Elsa wouldn't reply and Anna ended up yelling at the silence and subsequently feeling awful and apologizing. "Elsa, will you come out today? It could be my birthday present!" Anna said.

Elsa didn't say anything. _Does Anna really want me to come out for her birthday?_

"Puh-lease? I never see you anymore…" Anna's voice trailed off.

Elsa bit her lip. _Should_ she come out? Whether Anna genuinely wanted her to come out or not, she _did_ sound like she wanted Elsa to come out. _I can't make a fair people-read without seeing Anna face-to-face anyway. Now why didn't I think of that before? Sometimes I am so stupid… _"Anna…if I come out, will you promise not to touch me?" Elsa asked finally.

"Cross my heart and hope to die, although I don't understand _why_," Anna replied instantly. _Yay! Elsa's gonna come out!_

Elsa slowly opened the door and gave her sister a hesitant smile. "I…don't know whether you really…want me here or not. But I'll do my best to…not ruin your birthday again anyway." _Okay, Elsa, you can do this. Don't mess up your sister's birthday this time. It's just one day. You can make it through one day._

Anna sighed. _Elsa still thinks I'm just patronizing her. At least I got her to come out finally, though. _"You're not gonna ruin anything, Elsa. And I know you still don't believe me, but I DO want you here. Why don't we just chalk the last six months up as a loss and pretend they never happened? No argument about marriage stuff; no me yelling mean things at you I didn't mean; no nothing. Would that be ok?"

Elsa turned away and rested her forehead against the hallway wall. _I think Anna is for real. My people instincts are usually right. At least whenever I've been able to use them…_ "Anna, it's…hard for me to 'dump' things in a flash like you do, but I'm ready and willing to try," she said quietly. _It's not because I hold grudges; it's because I've been messed up for so long. In more ways than one…my powers, and I'm pretty sure I'm not quite right on the inside in my head, either. I shouldn't have gotten so hurt that Anna told me something that was really half-true._

_Ok, that's a start. _"Hey, Elsa? Try remembering this…The past is in the past. So we haven't got to bother with it anymore," Anna replied.

Elsa turned back around to face Anna. _The past…is in the past? What a nice thought. I wish I _could_ believe it. But I hurt Anna…I can't forget what happened and risk it happening again. At least not until I can figure out how to control it. _"I can't…not right now. Maybe I'll be able to someday…" Elsa gazed off into the distance at something only she could see. The two of them finally able to be together without Elsa being dangerous for Anna to be around. Maybe they would go up on the North Mountain together and play with Elsa's powers like they used to do in the ballroom when they were little.

"Uh, Elsa? Earth to Elsa!" Anna waved her hand in front of her sister's face, making sure not to actually touch her.

Elsa blinked and snapped back to the present. "Sorry, I…zoned out. Again. Could we…go downstairs, maybe?"

"Sure." Anna paused before asking, "Elsa, I know I promised not to touch you, and I won't if you say no, but is it all right to touch your shoulder right now?"

_I don't know whether it's okay or not, Anna_, Elsa thought. "Not right now…maybe later, though?" she asked hopefully. Elsa's heart fell when she saw Anna's disappointed face, so she added, "It's just that…I don't want to hurt you…"

"You aren't going to. Elsa, you like to be logical; I know you do. So answer this: You let me touch your shoulder lots of times before, and you didn't hurt me at all. So why would you hurt me now?"

"I wouldn't _try_ to…I'm afraid I will and not even know it or something. Please just let me be about it," Elsa said. _I can't let Anna do that. I'm older now, and so my powers have increased in strength too; I just know it…_

Because she didn't want to chase Elsa back into her room again, Anna let the topic drop. For now. She'd try again later.

* * *

After lunch, Elsa decided to ask Anna the question that had been weighing on her for all the last several months. _Well, here goes…_ "Anna…why did you tell me those things that day? I'm not mad…I just want to know…_why_."

Anna gave her a puzzled look as the two of them plopped down on a sofa in the portrait gallery. "What do you mean 'why'?"

"Well…I'm not good at…expressing myself out loud, so I understand if you can't tell me. Why did you tell me those things that day in the study? I'm sure now that you did _not_ mean to make me upset and run off like that." _I shouldn't have gotten so upset anyway… _Elsa looked down and clasped her hands together in her lap. "So I guess I'm wondering…what made you explode. I think."

"Ohhhh…You just made me so mad when you shot down _all_ my romance ideas! Because there is no way you know any more about it than I do. We've both been stuck in the castle since we were really little, and well, yeah. Elsa does not know more about such things than Anna does," Anna finished firmly.

Elsa narrowed her eyes at her sister, but she didn't say anything more for a minute. _Anna has got to be kidding. She genuinely thinks romance is going to work like it does in one of her silly mushy fairy tales?! _"Anna, those books you read are FAIRY TALES. Not real life. Do you honestly think a girl is just going to meet a guy and fall in love with him at first sight?"

Anna shrugged. "I don't see why not. Ooh, Elsa, did you get a marriage offer thingie for me, too?!"

_Conceal, don't feel; conceal don't feel…_ Elsa forced herself to stay calm before replying. "As a matter of fact, I have received more than one, and I turned them all down. I am not marrying off my sixteen-year-old sister. It's so ridiculous it's beyond stupid."

"They make political alliances!" Anna said hopefully.

"Yes, but even if I were just going with that, I am not going to rank whatever country the ruler's family you married into above ours. That isn't even a good thing for Arendelle, let alone you or me," Elsa told her. "There will be _no_ political marriages here. I will not even remotely consider such a thing unless Arendelle's economy is in dire straits or something."

"How'm I gonna get to meet anybody, then? I was hoping if you accepted one, that prince would come visit and we could open the gates and everything. Actually, why can't we open the gates anyhow?"

Elsa visibly flinched at that question. _Stay calm, Elsa…conceal, don't feel…_ "There are two main reasons why I can't do that. One, I-"

"But that's dumb! You're in charge, so why not?!" Anna interrupted.

"Anna, I was about to tell you!" Elsa replied, feeling a bit exasperated. "One, I cannot let anyone in the castle because it isn't safe for anyone to be around dangerous, defective me. Two, I don't have the authority to open the gates at all until after the coronation when I turn twenty-one. As of now, I am still underage and I don't have the absolute authority the monarch would have. I'm basically a regent; I can't pass or repeal laws. I don't have any authority of my own yet."

Anna stayed quiet, thinking about what Elsa had just told her. "You mean…Mom and Dad made some ruling that the gates had to stay closed and you can't change it whether you want to or not for another TWO WHOLE YEARS?!"

Elsa bit her lip and slowly nodded. _I'm sorry, Anna, but I can't do anything about it. And it's more like one and a half years now…_

"That's no fair! Mom and Dad aren't even HERE! Why would a dumb law like that even _exist_?! It's stupid, stupid, stupid! I can't go out the gates just 'cause of _that_?! I'm sorry if I'm shouting at you 'cause I know it's not your fault, but that has got to be the absolute dumbest law ever!"

"Anna, if you can't calm down, I will go back to my room right this second," Elsa said calmly, trying to get Anna's loud ranting to end.

"Ok…But it's still stupid," Anna reiterated a moment later.

"Stupid or not, that's the way it is." Elsa wondered what they should do now. _Anything_ but talk about this. "Anna, would you like to go to the library? Maybe I could play a song on the piano and you could sing," she offered.

"Awesome idea!"

* * *

"I haven't played in _ages_, so I'm very, very sorry if I'm rusty," Elsa said ten minutes later as she and Anna walked into the library.

"Can you play a Christmas song?" Anna asked. "A simple one, maybe?"

"Let's find a songbook and find out." Elsa quickly scanned the shelf where the music books were, trying to find a Christmas one. "Here's one!" She paused for a moment before saying, "Anna, I have an…odd request. Will you go out in the hall for, say, fifteen minutes? I _promise_ I'll let you back in." _I want to try something, and I can't with Anna in here…_

"Fifteen minutes and that's IT," Anna agreed. "I'll be waiting in the hall!"

Elsa locked the door behind her sister and headed back to the piano. _I wonder if I can do this…I hope I can. It'd be one thing I can do exactly as I did when I was little._ Elsa slid onto the piano bench and took a deep breath before slipping her gloves off and poising her fingers over the keys. _One tiny frost mistake and the gloves go back on. I just want to try first. I'll never know unless I try._ She closed her eyes, trying to remember how the piece, one she'd been working on at age eight just before the accident, started. Elsa could hear the piece playing in her head, but for the life of her, she had absolutely no idea how to begin. _I give up; I'm finding the book. It has to be in here. _A minute's search gave her what she was looking for, and she opened the music to the right page and sat back down. _Yep, that's what I remember. "Moonlight Sonata" by Beethoven…I also remember eight-year-old me couldn't reach some of the chords. _Elsa smiled a bit and started to play, fumbling a bit with the notes at first.

But there was no ice anywhere.

Elsa kept playing, losing herself in the piece. The dark, mournful chords, along with the more singing melody, gave her a way to let out the hurt and depression and everything else that was bothering her. And there was still no ice. Elsa's tears blurred the last measure of the music in front of her, but it didn't matter. She remembered how it ended now. _I should have come here sooner. I actually felt upset, depressed, and whatever else, and I didn't make any mess at all, or even feel like I was going to! _"I did it!" she exclaimed happily. "I really, really did it!" Elsa suddenly heard clapping from outside the library. _I bet Anna was listening to me…_ She grabbed her gloves and slipped them back on before running over to the door to let Anna in. _I can play the piano without them, but I don't trust myself otherwise._

* * *

The second Anna came in, she started gushing. "Elsa, that was soooo good! How did you play like that after not doing it for so long?!"

"I don't know…it just sort of _happened,_" Elsa said, giving Anna a slightly lopsided smile. "It was a depressing piece, but playing it made me…happy. Why did that happen, Anna?"

Anna noticed that although Elsa's blue eyes were all teary, she obviously wasn't sad or upset. _She looks happier than she has all day. I wonder why…_ "I think…you let out something that's made you hurt inside and it made you happy," she said finally. _Why is my big sister asking me something like that about herself? Sometimes Elsa seems like a little girl. She's like…I don't know, I don't care; I'm going to love her anyway. 'Cause she's my sister and nobody should live for years and years feeling isolated and alone like she did...and probably still does. _Anna was suddenly quite certain that the reason Elsa seemed like a little girl sometimes was because she didn't know how her feelings were supposed to work from trying to get rid of them entirely for so long. Elsa had no reference from which to work out her feelings at all; they were either completely hidden or exploding out of her, always one or the other.

"That makes sense," Elsa agreed, wiping her eyes. "Come on, Anna, let's play a happy song now." She reached a hand out to Anna before suddenly jerking it back. _I can't do that. I can't touch Anna._

"Elsa, you can touch me. I won't mind if you hold my hand. And you aren't gonna hurt me," Anna told her, realizing what her sister had almost done before deciding not to.

Elsa shook her head firmly. "I can't. I was being stupid and thoughtless…again. Let's play and sing instead." She plopped herself down on the piano bench and began flipping though the Christmas songbook. "What do you want to sing, Anna?"

"Jingle Bells, maybe?"

Elsa giggled, remembering that Anna had liked to sing that when the two of them were little, too. She slipped her gloves back off, ready to play. "Okay, ready? Please excuse any mistakes…One, two, three, four…" Elsa set the tempo for the song and began to play.

"Ah ah ah, wait one second…I see something different about you! A good different. Care to explain?" Anna asked, pointing at Elsa's bare hands.

Elsa glanced down at her hands, knowing _exactly_ what her sister was thinking. "My…problem…doesn't bother me when I play," she explained finally. _It's like it's not even there. No out of control ice or anything._

_What on earth could Elsa be talking about?_ "Well, um…that's good? I mean definitely good but I still don't understand…Whatever, I won't bug you anymore," Anna stopped talking instantly when she noticed Elsa starting to paste that neutral expression on her face again. "Let's sing!"

Now Elsa smiled a bit, and for the first time in over a decade, the two princesses of Arendelle filled the castle library with happy music. _Silly _music, if you added in Anna's spur-of-the-moment lyrics she made up. Soon, Elsa was laughing so hard she couldn't pay attention to the music in front of her any longer. "_What_ did you just say?!" she asked Anna for the third time. She stopped playing and slipped her gloves back on, waiting for Anna's reply.

Anna figuratively froze, wondering if Elsa would really think what her sister had sung was so funny if she knew exactly what the lyrics were. "Um…ah…are you sure you wanna know?"

Elsa nodded vigorously. "Yes, I do! I _thought_ one line was 'locked doors smell'…I heard wrong, _riiiight?_" One look at Anna's red face told Elsa that was EXACTLY what she had heard. "So…jingle bells, locked doors smell…then what?" She paused for a moment before adding, "Locked doors _do_ smell! I hate them…I just wish I could get rid of them…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"Ok, well, I said jinglebellslockeddoorssmellElsaneedsahug?" Anna blurted. "Please don't get upset, please, I wasn't thinking and it just sort of came out and yeah, I'm sorry and-"

Elsa held up a hand and told Anna to be quiet. "It's fine, Anna. Let's just…sing something else, okay? It was hilarious until the hug part, actually." Elsa's eyes flitted to the window, where both girls could easily see it had started snowing. "Look, Anna! It's _snow!_" she whispered happily. _I can control my powers better in the winter. I hope it snows a lot…actually, I _know_ it's going to snow a lot. I can feel it._

"Are we gonna have a white Christmas, Elsa?" Anna asked. _Oh, I hope we do; it'd be so awesome and maybe just maybe Elsa would go out in the courtyard with me._

"I'm not sure, but I think so," Elsa told her. _Maybe I could go out in the courtyard with Anna. If I made any power mess-ups, it wouldn't even show._ "I hope we do!" The two of them stood side by side in front of the window, watching the fat snowflakes fall to the ground.

"I'm…dreaming…of a white…Christmas," Anna started singing again.

"Just like the ones I used to know," Elsa joined in with the next line. _I _really_ wish we could have a white Christmas like those times when we were little. We went outside and everything…_

"Where the treetops glisten, and-"

"Anna, wait a second!" Elsa interrupted. "Do we have a Christmas tree? I know I didn't in my room for the last-okay, I don't care to count how many-Christmases, but did you and Mom and Dad have one anywhere in the castle?" _I'm getting us a tree this year. I know I can do that._

"Mom and Dad got one every year for awhile, but they stopped the Christmas I was twelve…I think. Are we gonna have one this year, Elsa? Are we, are we, are we?!" Anna asked excitedly. _Wait a minute…Elsa _never_ had one in her room all those years?! Why couldn't she have just had one of her own? Surely she had one, at least when she was little…_

Elsa's expression grew determined. "Yes. We are. I will get us a tree. Right now. You go up in the attic and find the ornaments. Meet me back here in two hours. Got it?"

"Got it…one thing…Elsa, I don't like the attic. It's creepy up there! And dark, and…"

"Anna, get Gerda to go up there with you. There's nothing creepy up there," Elsa said. _Anna didn't like the attic when she was five…she still hasn't grown out of that._

"I can do it myself."

Elsa giggled. "Okay. Anna, you sound exactly like you did when you were five. I'll see you in two hours!" She went off in search of a saw so she could go find a tree in the forest. _This time I'm ready. If someone tries kidnapping me again like three years ago, I have a weapon this time…although I really can't see myself hurting somebody with a saw. _Elsa shuddered at the thought, but she was going forward with her plan this time. _No room for turning chicken this time._

* * *

After retrieving a saw from the cellar, Elsa headed back up to her room to change her clothes. She wasn't worried about getting cold outside, but she wanted some sort of non-dressy cloak with a hood to hide her identifying platinum hair and also so no one would look twice at a simple villager girl. _If anyone recognizes me-which I doubt anyone would-or even if someone just thinks I'm from a wealthy family, I'm dead meat if I get found out there in the forest. I need to look…ordinary. _The only trouble was that Elsa had nothing of the sort in her closet. Just lots and lots of different blue dresses that looked far too fancy for what she wanted. _Maybe Anna has something,_ she thought.

Elsa headed down the hall to her sister's room, but ran into her on the way. Anna was stumbling towards the library holding several large boxes. "Here, let me help," Elsa offered, and took half the boxes from her sister. The second they had reached the library, Elsa asked, "Anna, do you have any old ordinary-looking dresses or cloaks lying around?"

"Yep! From when we played dress-up when we were little. C'mon, I'll get you something." Anna held out her hand for Elsa to hold, but Elsa shook her head and clasped her hands together.

"You can…touch my shoulder though," Elsa said softly as she looked down at the floor. _It's okay. Anna did it lots of times before. It has to be okay now._

Anna immediately took Elsa's offer and gently squeezed her sister's shoulder. "Thank you, Elsa." _Elsa must feel better now if she let me do that._

_Why is she thanking me? I'm the one that doesn't act like she should and is scared of people touching her. _Elsa smiled a bit, but she didn't say anything more.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Anna giggled as she looked at her sister standing in the middle of her room. "Elsa, _I_ think that's a crummy disguise! I don't care if you're wearing an old brown dress and that cloak; I still just see my sister playing dress-up!"

Elsa sighed good-naturedly. "Well, that's just too bad, because this is going to have to be good enough." She looked at herself in the mirror and spun around. _I don't think my 'disguise' is _that_ bad…the only identifying thing about me is my abnormally fair skin…and if anyone sees my platinum hair…but nobody's seen me for forever, so I think I'm safe as far as that goes. _With any luck, nobody would see her anyway. Elsa smoothed her brown skirt and pulled the navy cloak tighter around her shoulders, making sure her hair was covered. "It's going to have to work. I'll see you in a little while. Thank you, Anna."

* * *

After a slapdash trip through the secret passages into the forest, Elsa walked slowly through the trees, happily watching the snow fall as she looked for a suitable Christmas tree. _There's one!_ she thought, eyeing a tree about a foot taller than she was. Not too big, not too fat. And she'd be able to carry it.

Hopefully.

Elsa bit her lip and started sawing at the trunk. _I hope I'm doing this right…_ A few minutes later, the tree tipped over…right on top of her, knocking her flat on her back. Elsa just laughed as she lay there in the snow. _If Anna saw me right now, she'd probably crack up laughing._ She wrestled herself out from under the tree and clumsily picked it up before stumbling back toward the secret passages. Now Elsa had a new problem: there was no way that tree was going to fit through all the twists and turns in the passages. The only other way back into the castle from here was through the front gates, and she'd have to clamber over rocks jutting out into the fjord to get around to the front of the castle. _Well, that's that. I'm going to have to pull out Outdoorsy Elsa, who probably doesn't exist._ Elsa sighed and began heading around to the rocks in the fjord.

Elsa eyed the slippery rocks warily, the fjord's water lapping all around them. _What if I slip and fall? I'll hurt myself and lose the tree, too. _Struck by a sudden idea, she slipped off her shoes so she could get better traction on the rocks. Those shoes were already slippery, and since Elsa didn't mind the cold, going barefoot wouldn't bother her. She had made it about three-quarters there when she stepped on a loose rock with sharp edges, sending her sprawling. Instinctively, she let go of the tree and caught herself before actually falling in the water off the rocks. _Great, now I have to get that tree back._ Elsa frowned as she reached for that tree, ignoring her sore foot. _I have to get back to the castle, WITH the tree. For Anna._ She finally secured her footing and made it onto flat ground, away from those rocks. Elsa yanked her hood back over her head to hide her hair and quickly made her way around to the main gates.

Elsa hesitantly knocked on the gate, hoping the guard would see her. _Except…if my disguise is actually working, I'm not going to be recognized and I won't be able to get in…shoot._

"Miss, no one can come into Arendelle castle," the guard announced.

"I am Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle," Elsa replied. _Please recognize me…please, please, please…_ She flipped her hood off to reveal her hair, hoping it would be enough that she'd be recognized.

"You _look_ like Princess Elsa…if you _are_ the princess, I beg your pardon; but could you answer a question to verify who you are?"

Elsa smiled and nodded. "Of course." _That sounds fair enough to me._

"How old was Princess Elsa when she snuck down to the dungeon to explore?"

"I was three," Elsa replied instantly. _And I was stupid. I hate even the notion of going down there now, especially since so many of the staff were let go and NO ONE is down there, even a guard. It's creepy and…lonely. I know so. _"And my sister was a little baby." A moment later, the gate opened just barely wide enough for Elsa and the tree to enter, and the guard hesitantly reminded her about the law regarding the gates. "The gates are not open now," Elsa replied quietly. "I needed to get the tree…mostly for my sister." And she turned and headed back into the castle without saying anything more.

* * *

Elsa met Gerda in the castle's main entry hall. "Where did you get that tree, princess?" she asked.

"The forest. It's a Christmas tree for Anna and me…but mostly for Anna…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"Is your foot ok?" Gerda asked, noticing Elsa's bare feet and slight limp.

"I don't know; I think so. I slipped on the rocks out over the fjord, that's all," Elsa said. "Would you like to…to decorate the tree with Anna and me in the library?" she asked hopefully.

"How about Kai can carry that tree upstairs and you get your foot looked at?"

"Okay." Elsa was in a very agreeable mood; all she wanted was a nice Christmas with Anna this year. _I am _not_ ruining Christmas for us again, especially for Anna's sake._

* * *

"Really, I'm fine. I probably just twisted it a little when I fell or something," Elsa said for the umpteenth time. "Please don't touch it; I don't want to…hurt you…"

"Princess, you _never_ make ice with your feet unless you're extremely upset. And I can tell you aren't upset right now. You just want to go upstairs and decorate the tree with Princess Anna," Gerda told her. "Let me see it."

Elsa tucked her feet under the chair she was sitting in. "Are you going to touch it?" she asked._ I know I usually don't make ice that way unless I'm upset, but I don't want to risk it, either._

"The tree is all ready for you and your sister in the library," Kai said just then.

"Thank you!" Elsa hopped up from her seat and headed straight upstairs, not wanting to keep trying to convince Gerda _not_ to touch her foot, even if the risk was negligible that anything bad would happen.

"Princess Elsa seems much more chipper than usual today," Kai commented the second Elsa was out of sight.

"She's always happier after she spends a bit of time with her little sister," Gerda said. "I do wish she would stop refusing any physical contact, though. That girl needs a warm hug if anyone ever did."

* * *

Upstairs in the library, Elsa plopped down on the sofa, waiting for Anna to come back. Soon Anna came stumbling into the room with the last of the ornaments. "Oh…wow," Anna breathed, staring at the tree.

Elsa smiled. "I take it I got us a good one?" she asked.

"It's _perfect_! Just like you."

"The tree might be perfect, but I'm not," Elsa said quietly, frowning at her hands resting in her lap. _How can Anna say that? I haven't even spent Christmas with her since I was eight. I'm the farthest thing from 'perfect'._

Anna quickly sat down on the sofa next to Elsa and gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. "You're correct that you're not perfect in the sense that NOBODY can really be perfect, but you're as perfect as a person can be. You're fine just the way you are," she told her.

Elsa's expression brightened a little bit, but she still didn't smile. "Anna…how can you even say that? You don't want me the way I am…I'm messed up and dangerous and I can't even be a proper sister to you anymore like when we were little…I ruin everything." Elsa turned away and buried her face in her hands as she added, "I'll probably end up ruining this Christmas too…just like all the others." _Elsa, you will _not_ ruin this Christmas. You've done enough damage already._

"_No_, Elsa, you aren't going to ruin anything," Anna said firmly. "I do want you around whether you're your old happy carefree self or your present self that's gotten brainwashed into thinking she's 'messed up' and 'dangerous'. You're still my sweet big sister, Elsa, no matter what."

_But I'm not brainwashed. It _is_ true. I am messed up and dangerous... Why is Anna still willing to bother with me? Even after that big misunderstanding that was mostly because I'm way too sensitive sometimes? _Elsa made no response.

Anna hesitantly put her arm around Elsa's shoulders, making sure not to get anywhere near her hands. Elsa flinched, but she didn't react otherwise. "Elsa, why don't we put the ornaments on the tree? Maybe doing something fun will make you happier."

Elsa sat silently, her body shaking a bit all over because she was scared. _I should make Anna get away from me…but this is the closest I've had to a hug for so long without me being chained up or sick. That's selfish, Elsa. You're being more concerned about your own feelings than Anna's safety. _"You'd better not do that anymore, Anna," Elsa whispered. "I don't want to hurt you…"

Because she didn't want to risk chasing Elsa away into her room again, Anna reluctantly moved away from her sister. _Elsa did want a hug. I know she did. I wish I knew why she was so scared of anyone touching her. _Anna finally just said, "Do you want to decorate the tree?"

Elsa nodded but didn't say anything; although she did give Anna a grateful look that said _Thank you for leaving me alone when I needed you to._ She hopped off the sofa and began pulling tinsel out of one of the decoration boxes.

"Elsa, why are you limping like that?" Anna asked, frowning as she watched her sister start putting some of the tinsel on the tree.

"I'm fine," Elsa answered a little too quickly. _Please just leave it alone. I don't want anyone touching me or fussing over me. I think it's fine anyway…_

"Maybe you oughta let me or somebody else look at it," Anna suggested, hoping that her sister would agree, although she was pretty sure Elsa wouldn't. Sure enough, Elsa immediately shook her head no. "Well then you sit down till you can walk without limping," was Anna's prompt response.

"But I want to decorate the tree with you! See look, I can walk without limping," Elsa said, and proceeded to make a point to walk normally on the sore foot.

Anna grabbed Elsa's arm, and pulled her over to the sofa. "You stop that. You're gonna make whatever's wrong worse doing that," Anna scolded. "If I quit bugging you about it while we decorate the tree, will you promise to sit down for awhile afterwards? Maybe we could have some hot chocolate or something."

"Okay. Deal." Elsa gave Anna a small smile, and soon the two of them were happily decorating the tree together.

* * *

A half hour later, Elsa and Anna stepped back from the tree and admired their work. "It looks so pretty…" Elsa whispered. "Especially because I actually got to decorate it with you." _I haven't had a real Christmas tree since I was eight. And this one is all the more special because _Anna_ decorated it with me._

"Elsa, did you _ever_ have a tree, like, in your room? At least when you were little, anyways?" Anna asked, already fairly certain what her sister's answer would be.

Elsa crossed her arms around her middle and went to stand by the window. "No," she said flatly. "Do you want to know what happened when I was nine?" Elsa asked, her voice completely void of emotion, as if she were talking about something that didn't matter to her at all.

Anna suddenly had a bad feeling about where this conversation was headed. _No, I probably don't want to know what happened when Elsa was nine…_

Elsa didn't hear a peep out of Anna, but she kept talking anyway. "I asked if I could please have a tree in my room. I wouldn't come out or anything; I just wanted a tree. And… 'Elsa, you cannot have a tree in your room. One tree in the castle is enough. You don't need a thing like that in here. It probably wouldn't last long, anyway.'" _'You need to learn how to control your ice problem_', Elsa finished in her head. _And it 'wouldn't last long' because I might have accidentally frozen it or something. _"I never tried asking for one after that…my request would have just gotten turned down again." What Elsa had not shared with Anna was that nine-year-old Elsa was still hopeful at that time that she was just 'sick' and might be able to spend the next Christmas with Anna if her parents found out a way to fix her. When the next Christmas rolled around, Elsa's ice problem was worse, not better; and so the little girl hadn't even tried to ask for a tree, or anything else for that matter._ I was such a naïve, stupid little kid. Why did I ever think it was possible to fix everything? Dumb, dumb, dumb…_

Now Anna was simultaneously mad and felt like crying. _That's rotten. Elsa was just a little girl! Why on earth couldn't she have had a tree in her room? Even a little tiny one probably would have made her happy. It's like…like Mom and Dad didn't even treat her like a human being that has feelings. No wonder Elsa felt-and I know she still does feel-like she's worthless. Everything just got taken away from her, even silly things like Christmas trees… _"Elsa, I…I don't know what to say except that that was NOT fair to you! I mean, it's just-"

"Anna, I probably deserved it," Elsa interrupted. "Mom and Dad knew I was a…monster, and…and…and I shouldn't even be here with you now…It's selfish on my part…don't worry about it; I don't even know why I told you that. It happened ten years ago, for goodness sakes…"

"You didn't deserve any such of a thing. And you are _not_ a monster. Do you think a monster would have gone and gotten a Christmas tree to decorate with her little sister?"

Elsa shook her head. _I suppose not. But I still hurt Anna when we were little!_

"And I think you told me that because what happened still makes you hurt inside. You know, like to get it off your chest…to make yourself feel better by sharing it with somebody," Anna said.

_Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ "I'm not supposed to feel…mess everything up when I do," Elsa muttered to herself. "Maybe I _can't _feel…"

"Elsa, that's nonsense and you know it. You _are_ feeling right this second, and you wouldn't be hurt and upset if you couldn't feel," Anna told her. "And I don't know where this 'mess everything up if I feel' stuff came from, but that's nonsense too. You can't not feel. It's just impossible. You are not going to mess everything up."

Elsa blinked in confusion at Anna. _Anna must have heard what I was saying to myself. _"Could we just drop this topic, please?" she asked after a long pause.

"Hot chocolate instead?" Anna offered quickly.

Elsa gave Anna a small smile at that. "Okay…I like hot chocolate." _Except it wouldn't matter whether it's hot, cold, or anywhere in between. I can't feel temperatures at all…_

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa sat curled up on the sofa under a blanket with her hot chocolate, while Anna sat curled up on the opposite side of the sofa under a different blanket. "I know you're immune to cold, but I thought you might like a warm blanket all the same," Anna said.

Elsa blinked back tears. _I can't feel whether it's warm or not at all. It's like I'm…temperatureless. I can't even do something simple like this like a normal girl would…conceal, don't feel. Emotions on lockdown…_ "Thanks for the thought, Anna," she whispered finally.

"What's wrong, Elsa? Are you all right?"

"It doesn't matter. Don't worry about it," Elsa said quietly. "Let's just drink our hot chocolate." _Well, even if I am unable to feel temperatures, I still like hot chocolate. And at least I'm doing something with Anna for once. That's good enough for me._

"It does too matter, but I won't keep bugging you about it. Let's just sit and enjoy our hot chocolate, like you said. Here's to our first Christmas together in forever." Anna smiled at Elsa and held out her mug to clink with Elsa's.

_I _hope_ it's going to be our first Christmas together in forever. As long as I don't get out of control during the next few days…_ "I love you, Anna…I'll try my best not to ruin Christmas this year," Elsa replied. She glanced at the large grandfather clock in the corner, realizing it was probably late. _Almost midnight?! Yipes…_

"You won't. I _know_ you won't." Anna yawned; then gave her sister a reassuring smile.

Elsa smiled back at her sister, and soon the two of them were fast asleep, each hoping with all her heart that this Christmas would be different. _A good different, as Anna would say,_ Elsa's sleepy thoughts told her.

**A/N: There SHOULD be only one or two chapters left until we get to the coronation.:) (I'm guessing; I'm not positive)**

**Next chapter coming (hopefully very) soon!:)**

**P.S. If anyone could, I would be SUPER SUPER happy if you guys could review 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna', lol.:P (No, I will not abandon it-I'm getting fairly close to the end now, and I have a sequel planned.:)) So I guess um...I shan't be a pest anymore, but anyways.:P :)**


	27. You Don't Understand,,,

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Hey, sis! Thanks for the review:)**

**Fatten Saad-Thanks!:) P.S. I'm going to follow the movie, but focus on Elsa instead of Anna like the movie does. It'll end a few days after the Great Thaw.:) Sorry, no Anna and Kristoff wedding-they aren't married in 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna', which takes place _after_ all of this story in my mind.:P (And besides, I have a feeling Elsa would make Anna wait a looonnng time before any more marriage proposals.;)) Annnddd...I canNOT write any sort of 'mush' properly since I really, really don't like it in the first Maybe Anna could introduce Kristoff to her sister, though...yeah, that sounds good to me.;)**

**olaf99-Okay, the tornado idea is near the end of this chapter actually.:) It isn't a 'couple days', because hey, tornadoes don't last that long. Anyway, hope you like it!:)**

**Guest-Lol, I take that as a compliment!:) Thank you for reading my whole story up to this point.**

**On to the story!:) (And...BTW, the chapter title is not going to make any sense till the very end of this chapter.:P Just saying...:))**

On Christmas morning, Elsa was actually excited to get up for the first Christmas since she was eight. _I get to have Christmas breakfast with Anna!_ She pulled on her cranberry red Christmas dress Anna had given her the Christmas Elsa was sixteen, hoping it still fit. _It does, good, _Elsa thought, looking at herself in the mirror. The dress was ever so slightly shorter than it had been the last time Elsa had it on, but it wasn't enough to make it look too small. Elsa still felt too exposed with her bare shoulders and arms showing, so she found a cloak in her closet and put it on top. _There. Now I can still wear my Christmas dress and I won't feel all uncomfortable. _She quickly headed out into the hall to find Anna.

"Merry Christmas, Elsa!" Anna shouted as she came racing down the hall.

Elsa dodged out of the way just in time to avoid being knocked to the floor. "Anna, calm down! Why are you being so crazy?"

Anna skidded to a stop. "I am SO not gonna calm down! I'm spending Christmas with my epic awesome big sister this year!" She paused, noticing what Elsa was wearing. "Elsa, you look really nice, but why are you wearing a cloak inside? I know you aren't cold…"

"I just…feel too exposed without it," Elsa said, her face turning red because she thought that explanation was stupid. _Now Anna is going to think I'm really dumb. It's not even like I dislike the way it looked or something. No, I just felt too exposed. Stupid…_

"Ok, Elsa. The cloak stays on, then. Do you want to go downstairs for breakfast now?" Anna thought Elsa's reasoning was silly, but hey, at least Elsa was willing to come out of her room for Christmas. If she insisted on wearing a cloak over her dress, then far be it for Anna to try to make her do otherwise.

Elsa was glad Anna didn't press the issue. _Thank you, Anna._ "Merry…Christmas, Anna," she said quietly. _I just told Anna merry Christmas face to face! And without feeling all antsy and out of control! _Elsa smiled a bit, and the two girls headed downstairs.

* * *

After breakfast, Elsa told Anna that she had a present for her. "It's not something you can open, but I hope you like it all the same," she explained. Elsa headed into the castle library with Anna following her. "Your throne awaits," Elsa announced, pointing at the sofa.

Anna giggled and sat down where Elsa had directed her.

"Now, this isn't _my_ song-I found it in our Christmas songbook…but it has a message I need to share with you," Elsa said. She had practiced it for the few days between Anna's birthday and Christmas late at night so Anna wouldn't hear her. _I have to do this…for Anna. I just hope I can follow through with what I'm singing. There's a tiny chance I can, right? I can hope, anyways. _Elsa clasped her hands behind her back, closed her eyes, and started singing a cappella, "_Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

_Let your heart be light_

_Next year all our troubles will be out of sight…_

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas_

_Make the Yuletide gay_

_Next year all our troubles will be miles away…_

_Once again as in olden days, happy golden days of yore_

_Faithful friends who are near to us will be dear to us once more…_

_Someday soon we all will be together _

_If the fates allow_

_Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow…_

_So have yourself a merry little Christmas now…_" Elsa's wistful voice trailed off into nothing as she opened her eyes and looked over at Anna. "I know it wasn't much, but…but I…but I'm going to try my best to…follow through with that," she said softly, dropping her gaze to the floor. "My best probably isn't good enough, but I'm going to try." _I don't know how, but I've made this Christmas better than the last decade's worth. So I'm going to try to fix everything else this coming year, too. It's probably hopeless, but I can try._

Anna had been thinking that song was completely, utterly depressing, even if Elsa was singing it beautifully; but now she realized her sister had pulled a ray of hope out of it. _"Next year", "Next year"…Elsa's trying to tell me she's going to try to fix things this coming year. Oh, Elsa. You shouldn't be connecting us to a…a bittersweet song like that. The rotten part is that it fits perfectly. _"Well, you sing pretty, Elsa," Anna said finally.

"Did you like the song?" Elsa asked hopefully, a trace of a smile on her face.

"It's a bit…depressing to me," Anna said hesitantly, wanting to tell her sister her true thoughts, but not wanting to make Elsa upset.

Elsa's face fell. _I messed up again. _"I'm sorry, Anna. I thought…I thought it could be a happy song for us, but I guess not," she whispered. "I suppose my mind is still…messed up to think that…You're probably right. It _is_ depressing." _That's all I know how to do…make everything depressing. Now I've made Anna depressed, and she's supposed to be happy today. I tried to start fixing things, but I just ruined everything. Again._ "Maybe I'd better go." Elsa turned and ran down the hall to her own room, trying to keep from losing control.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna jumped up from the sofa and chased after her sister, wishing she'd just said something different. _I made Elsa feel like she was 'messed up' to think that stupid song could be happy. She thinks she made me upset by singing that…_ Anna reached Elsa's door just in time to hear the lock click. _Not again. _"Really, Elsa? Why do you care so much that I didn't think the same way as you about that song? Each of us have a right to our own opinions, you know!"

Elsa just lay on her bed, curled up on her side as silent tears trickled down her cheeks. _I know Anna's right; we don't have to think the exact same way, but…I wanted to do something happy for her and I just did something depressing instead. Why do I always do the wrong thing? Every. Single. Time. I wish I didn't exist. No, I'm not leaving. I have Anna and I need to take care of Arendelle. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I can deal with this. I'm NOT giving up. _She clapped her hands over her ears, not wanting to hear Anna say anything else right then. _I'm sorry for ignoring you, Anna…I just want to be by myself right now._ Elsa realized snowflakes were falling around her, and she scrunched her eyes shut, refusing to look at them. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

Out in the hall, Anna resisted the urge to start yelling. _Elsa makes me so mad sometimes! Why can't we just think differently and that's that? I mean, really… The only thing that lets her off the hook is that she's been hurt for so long, so she doesn't react to things like she should. I can't start shouting at her. I'll just make her feel worse. _"I'm sitting out here till you're ready to come out," Anna said to the silence.

* * *

Elsa finally just cried herself to sleep, even though it was daytime. She had no idea Anna was sitting outside the door waiting for her. By the time she woke up, it was starting to get dark. Elsa blinked sleepily at the window. _I slept all day?! I didn't want to do that. And I'm hungry._ She debated on going down to the dining hall and finally decided that she _would_ go down there. It was still Christmas, after all, even if it didn't turn out anything like she wanted it to. Elsa sighed and went to open her door. "Anna?!" she asked in surprise. _Why is Anna half-asleep outside my door?_

Anna immediately jerked completely awake. "Elsa! You came out! What time's it? Why'd you-" She cut her own sentence short. _Nope, not gonna ask why she got so upset. Elsa seems at least a little better now… _"Elsa, you've been crying," Anna added, noticing Elsa's slightly red eyes and the dried tear tracks on her cheeks.

"It's nothing," Elsa said quickly. _How does Anna even know? I know I didn't make any noise. No more stupid emotions. I'm so tired of them. They make me lose control and I hate feeling depressed._

"Elsa, you don't cry over _nothing_. Will you tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can help you feel better."

"I don't want to talk about it," Elsa replied flatly. "I don't need help. I'm going to be fine." _Or as fine as I ever can be, anyways…_

"Ooook, then…" Anna was a bit miffed at her sister's sudden apathetic attitude, but she didn't want to chase her away again. "Want to go get some Christmas dinner?" she asked to change the subject.

"Okay."

Anna frowned. _Something's different about Elsa, and it's NOT a good different. What's wrong with her? It's like she's turned into…wait a second…I know EXACTLY what she's done. Turned into that hiding feelings, impassive girl she always acted like those few times I saw her with Mom and Dad. _"What can I do to make you happy and smile again?"

"You can't do anything. Not unless you can fix me. And I know you can't. So don't worry about it." To anyone who didn't know Elsa, she appeared cold and indifferent, but Anna could easily see by looking at her sister's blue eyes that she was _not_ apathetic about everything; she was hurt, upset, and maybe just a bit angry.

"Elsa, you don't need fixing aside from making you feel better about yourself," Anna said firmly, reaching a hand out to give Elsa's shoulder a comforting squeeze.

Elsa flinched a little, but she didn't otherwise react. _Don't feel, don't feel…why is it no matter how many times I say that to myself, it doesn't work? I wish I _couldn't_ feel. Then maybe I wouldn't hurt so much inside all the time no matter what I do. Maybe I'd be able to control my powers. _"I shouldn't be able to feel at all in the first place…I'm a monster. Monsters don't feel. Why do I still hurt inside then? I think there's something wrong with me…wait, what was that? No, I _know_ there's something wrong with me…I'm dangerous," Elsa said confusedly, frowning as she stared at her gloved hands. _What in the world did I even say just now?_

Anna wished Elsa would let her give her a hug, but she was positive she'd just scare Elsa instead. "Elsa, you are _not_ a monster. You just admitted out loud that monsters don't feel and that you _do_ feel…hurt inside. There's nothing wrong with you; you are NOT dangerous," she told her. "Please believe me, Elsa."

"You should just get rid of me…put me in the dungeon or something…I ruin _everything_…I ruined Christmas again…" Elsa hadn't really heard anything Anna just said. She was just completely lost in her own confusing thoughts.

"WHAT?!" Anna grabbed Elsa's shoulders and started shaking her. "_No_, Elsa! No one is going to put you in the horrid old dungeon again. You never should have been sent down there in the first place. And just because today didn't turn out exactly perfect does NOT mean you ruined everything!" _If anything, _I_ messed up today because I made her upset. I shoulda known telling Elsa her song was 'a bit depressing' was going to make her upset._

"At least I can't…hurt anyone if I'm…chained up in the dungeon," Elsa whispered. She crossed her arms around her middle, feeling like she was close to losing control again. _No, Elsa! Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._ "Get away from me, Anna! I don't want to hurt you!"

Anna was just plain horrified. _Elsa is so scared of hurting me or someone else that she'd let herself get trapped down there again…_ "You are NOT getting locked down there again! Elsa, that's unfair to you and it's just plain wrong. Even if you _were_ dangerous, which I don't believe in the least, it isn't right. You cannot stay chained up with those shackles in the dungeon…you're gonna get hurt. I _know_ those stupid things gave you a blister that one time; I saw it. And forget any of that-you're MY sister! My sister does not belong in the castle dungeon! She's Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle, for goodness sakes! You can't in all honesty tell me that you actually want to go down there."

"I'd rather hurt myself than you," Elsa said honestly. _I already hurt you once…I don't want to risk doing it again. _"If keeping you safe involved me being imprisoned, then so be it. No, I don't want to go down there _at all_, but if I had to-to keep you safe-I would. Anna…I don't have anything else to live for but you and taking care of my country-which I am sure you could do if you had a bit of help. By myself, just plain me…I'm n-nothing…Nothing but a d-defective freak…our parents didn't want me. I was just a…a bother, something they kept around and dealt with because I couldn't be gotten rid of. Why would anyone else ever want me around, and why should they? I just…Anna, _how can you still care about me?!_ I ruined your childhood; it's my fault you can't go outside the castle gates! All I ever do is mess up things! I hate myself…I wish I didn't exist at all…except I know you'd be upset for some inexplicable reason. Anna, I'm…I…oh, I don't know; I sound stupid and pathetic, probably. I'm sor-" Elsa's tears finally overflowed and began streaming down her cheeks, despite her very best efforts to keep them in check. _Conceal! Don't feel! You're going to start making it snow or something!_

_Elsa wishes she didn't exist?! Over a year has gone by…I thought Elsa was better now. And how could Mom and Dad treat her like that?! And WHY?! _Anna caught her sister's arm just as she started to retreat back into her room. "No, Elsa, wait. I still care about you because you're my sister. Because you _never_ should have been treated like that, and I hate seeing you hurting like this, so I want to help you feel better. How about just because I missed you tons for all this time and I want to help get us back like we were when we were five and eight? Besides, 'just plain you', just plain _Elsa_, is a nice person to have around. She's thoughtful. She has a good sense of humor. She has an underused mischievous streak. She loves her sister. And a whole bunch of other things." She paused before asking hesitantly, "Have you been getting the icky depressing thoughts again, Elsa?"

"I'm _not_ going to try that again, Anna. I promise," Elsa told her firmly. _I mean it. I will _not_ try that again._

Anna frowned. "You didn't answer my question. I didn't ask if you were going to follow through with it; I asked if you had been getting those kind of thoughts again. Elsa, please tell me. I promise I'm not going to guilt trip you or make you feel ashamed about it or something if you have. I just want you to tell me so if we need to, we'll try to get you feeling better again and make the thoughts go away."

Elsa gave one slow nod. _I've gotten the thoughts again, but I do NOT intend to do anything. I won't. I'm not leaving Anna._

"That's what I thought. When's the last time it happened?" Anna asked._ At least Elsa doesn't really, actually want to follow through with it…That's good, right?_

"Earlier today…Anna, I really don't want to talk about this. It's _embarrassing_! I hate thinking like that, but I don't know how to stop…" Elsa's voice trailed off. _Why am I telling Anna this? I don't _have_ to tell her if I don't want to…I know I should, but…_

_Ok, Elsa_ wants_ to stop thinking like that anyways. That's better than before. I just wish I knew how to help her! I'm only three years younger than she is…I'm a teenage girl, just like Elsa. Well, I guess I'll just have to do my best. _"Elsa, don't be embarrassed. It's not your fault. At least you _want_ it to stop. That's good, isn't it?" Anna gave her sister a smile.

Elsa made a face. "I should be able to control my own thoughts! It just comes out of nowhere before I can stop it. I'm just…just, I don't know…"

Anna bit her lip, wondering what to say. "What were you thinking earlier today exactly? Maybe we can figure out why it happened or something."

"It was…right after I ran to my room this morning…"_ Come on, Elsa, just tell your sister. She's trying to help you. Even if it is probably useless. _Elsa sighed and added, " 'Why do I always do the wrong thing? Every. Single Time. I wish I didn't exist. No, I'm not leaving. I have Anna and I need to take care of Arendelle. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I can deal with this. I'm not giving up.'" Elsa stared down at the floor, not wanting to meet her sister's eyes.

_That was because of the whole song thing this morning…_ "It sounds like you got rid of the thoughts pretty quickly. Really quickly, actually. That's good, Elsa. I think maybe…maybe you just need a friend to talk to. Will you let me be that friend?" Anna asked. "Look, I don't know exactly how to help you, but I'm not letting you deal with this alone. I won't. Will you let me be that friend?" she repeated.

Elsa finally started to smile a bit before her expression grew sad again. _I know Anna is telling the truth…but why would she be willing to try to help me? I never did anything for her. Wait…if Anna wants to help me, I should let her. I just need to stay away whenever I feel like I'm getting out of control, whether it's an hour a day or twenty-four seven. _"Y-yes…just please…if I disappear into my room, _please_ don't fuss at me to come out…I understand why you do that, but I…I can't take it. I know I need help, but…I can't risk hurting you." _Please understand Anna…please…_

"I promise I will not fuss at you to come out, but I do NOT promise to listen to you if you tell me to 'go away'. All right? Sister pact, Elsa?" Anna held out her hand, inviting her sister to shake it.

Elsa clasped her hands together close against her chest and shook her head. "I can't touch you, Anna. You know that."

"Yes, you can. You just need to get un-convinced that you can't. I promise I don't have cooties! Ok, forget shaking hands…sister pact anyways?" Anna asked.

Elsa smiled a tiny bit and nodded. "Sister pact anyways," she whispered.

* * *

As the next several months passed, the two sisters stuck to their little pact they had made Christmas evening. Some days Elsa managed to stay outside her room with Anna all day long, but more often than not, she retreated back into the dreaded safe haven of her room, not wanting to risk hurting her little sister. Anna kept her promise. She did not fuss at Elsa trying to get her to come out when that happened, but she also refused to leave when her sister told her to go away. "Elsa, I promised I wouldn't fuss at you to come out, not that I would listen when you tell me to go away. I'm right here for you when you're ready," Anna said more than once.

Whenever the 'icky depressing thoughts', as Anna called them, started bothering Elsa, Elsa made a point to either tell Anna out loud if they were face to face, or push a note under her door if she was in her room. "It's happening again," became their code phrase. It seemed that any random little thing could set Elsa off, and it drove her crazy just as much as it did Anna.

"Anna, _why_ doesn't it stop entirely?!" Elsa asked in exasperation one spring morning from behind her locked door. "You know what, I think I'm not going to think about it. Period. Maybe refusing to think about it will make it go away."

"That just makes it go away temporarily, Elsa. It happens way less often now," Anna encouraged. "So therefore talking about it must help some." She heard a sigh and a quiet thump as her sister evidently plopped down on the floor leaning against the door. _We've gotten rid of the icky thoughts quite a bit, but she also retreats into her room far more often now. That doesn't add up. I wonder why…_

* * *

Elsa's decision that she would just stay away whenever she felt like she was getting out of control was the reason that she retreated into her room more often now as spring turned into summer. She could somehow feel that her powers were still growing stronger at an alarmingly fast rate. The same low level of upset that once caused her to simply frost the floor under her a little now made her ice over the entire floor of her room. _It's only a matter of time before the ice starts spreading out into the hallway. I'm going to be TWENTY in a few days. Are my powers going to just keep growing and growing in strength all my life?! I mean…I'm not growing anymore. The same dresses I had four years ago still fit me._

* * *

One night Elsa was horrified to wake up from a nightmare, only to find herself shooting ice at the far wall, the rest of the floor a smooth sheet of ice. Elsa sat up in bed, breathing hard and holding her hands against her chest. _I just shot ice at the wall…with my gloves on. Great. Just great. What else can go wrong? _She flopped down on her stomach and sobbed into her pillow, hoping no one, least of all Anna, would hear her or check on her. _Conceal! Don't feel! Quit crying, Elsa! What am I supposed to do now?! The one thing that I thought helped stop my powers from manifesting just completely, utterly failed. _Elsa turned over onto her back and held her hands in front of her face, staring at them in disgust. _What am I going to do? _She couldn't even try temporarily purging her powers out of herself as she had when she was sixteen; somehow she was _positive_ she'd have to freeze a lot more than just her room to do such a thing. Not to mention she couldn't be ill; she had a kingdom to take care of. _I need something else to put on my hands, something stronger. _Elsa briefly considered sending her own self to the dungeon, thinking those horrid metal shackles would most definitely contain her powers; but the thought repulsed her something awful, and she couldn't take care of political papers and such if she was chained up down there.

_Besides, what reason could I give Anna for doing such a thing? I'm just going to have to figure out something else. Maybe Gerda could make me some gloves out of some thicker fabric. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do._ Now that she finally had a solution, Elsa pulled the covers over her head and managed to fall back asleep.

* * *

Very early the next morning before breakfast, Elsa tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen, hoping Gerda was there cooking breakfast. "Gerda? May I ask a favor, please?" she asked.

Gerda finished putting the bowls away in the cupboard and turned to Elsa. "You do know you can give orders, princess. How can I help you so early in the morning?"

_I know, but I don't like doing that unless I have to. _"I…froze my room last night, and, well, I woke up shooting ice all over the wall. _With_ my gloves on…I was wondering if you could maybe make some new ones out of thicker fabric? Please?" Elsa paused before adding in a quiet voice, "I really, really don't want to be…chained up in the dungeon again."

"Why on earth would you think you would have to go to the dungeon, princess? Nobody can make you go down there."

Elsa started shifting her weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Because…because those horrid old shackles would definitely contain my powers, that's why," she blurted. "If my parents thought I belonged down there those two times, I probably definitely belong down there now. My powers are stronger than they were then…a-and I'm no closer to controlling it than I was then, either."

"Princess Elsa, pardon me for saying so, but stop talking that nonsense right now," Gerda said firmly. "You don't belong in the dungeon now; you _never_ did. Your parents should not have put you down there. Why were you down there, princess? Can you tell me again?"

_Why? It was years ago, now. They were probably right…_ "The first time…because I let Anna give me a hug even though I knew I shouldn't when we were all in the cellar, and there wasn't any other safe place for me to go during the hurricane. The second time…I gave a storm warning about that tornado, and…and they thought I was making it myself. But I wasn't! I really wasn't!" Elsa frowned. _I think the first time it was fair, but the second time it was most definitely not._

"Just remember that, princess. Those reasons were not fair to you at all," Gerda told her, knowing Elsa had at least decided that the second time wasn't fair.

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back and asked, "About the gloves? Please? I need _something_ different, because the ones I have don't work anymore, evidently…"

"Of course, Princess Elsa. Can you make it till this evening?"

"I hope so…I'll just stay in my room all day." _That way, if I make another mistake, it won't matter so much. _"Thank you, Gerda." Elsa started to turn and head back upstairs when Gerda asked if she wanted to take some chocolate chip pancakes with her. _Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I love chocolate chip pancakes. _"Yes, please."

Gerda handed her a plate of hot pancakes. "Careful, don't burn yourself, princess."

_I can't feel temperatures, but thanks for the warning. _Elsa gave Gerda a small smile before going back upstairs to her room. She sat down at her desk and took a long sniff. _Well, I may not be able to tell whether they're hot or cold, but they still smell good. Good enough. They taste good, too._

* * *

"Thank you, Gerda," Elsa said gratefully that evening as she quickly pulled the new gloves on her hands. "They're even a shade of my favorite color. Maybe I won't hate wearing gloves all the time anymore," she added a bit ruefully. _I mean, I got used to it long ago, but I still don't like it._

"Yes, I know you like blue. Every time I see you, you're wearing a blue dress of some sort," Gerda replied, smiling at Elsa. "Princess, just remember no one is going to punish you for taking them off. If you wake up one morning and want to throw them away, then do it. You shouldn't be trying to suppress part of who you are, Princess Elsa."

Elsa's expression grew determined as she clasped her hands together in front of her. "I will not risk hurting Anna again, or anyone else." _I won't. I don't even want my powers to be 'part of who I am'. I hate being unsafe for my own sister to be around._ "Thank you for making them so quickly."

Gerda knew the repeated thank-you was Elsa's polite way of saying _Leave me alone now, please._ "Good night, Princess Elsa."

The second Gerda left the room, Elsa locked the door before getting ready for bed. _Well, hopefully I won't wake up shooting ice all over the place again. _Elsa had already decided that her new gloves might look pretty, but they also muffled further her already-constrained sense of touch. If she wasn't looking directly at whatever she was holding, she would have no idea what the item was. _This. Is. Driving. Me. Crazy._ Already she had knocked a book off her nightstand and nearly tipped over the kerosene lamp. _Okay, Elsa, you just need to get used to it, like you did when you were little originally. Don't touch anything without looking at what it is first and you'll be fine. At least if they feel this much different to me, they'll be enough to keep me from making an icy mess all over the place while I'm sleeping._ Comforted with that thought, Elsa quickly fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Elsa was very happy to find that she hadn't made another icy mess everywhere. _They work perfectly. Good._ _These might drive me crazy, but if they're going to keep me from losing control again, then I'm happy. _Elsa's next thought was _There's a tornado coming again._ There was just one odd issue with that prediction.

It was a hundred percent sunny and clear outside. No one but Elsa would ever suspect that there was a tornado coming.

_So why am I so sure there's one coming?! It's not even a bit cloudy. _Elsa frowned as she stared out her window. _Four days. In the afternoon. It's going to…touch down in the castle courtyard before 'jumping' over to the dock and zigzag out into the fjord before dissolving. _Elsa could almost "see" the upcoming tornado playing out in her head, confusing and disconcerting her. _What is going on? Am I just daydreaming? Why would I be daydreaming about a tornado? That doesn't make any sense…unless I am not daydreaming._ She bit her lip, resenting this new development. Watching upcoming storms play out in her head was _not_ an ability she wanted. _Although it means I can easily warn everyone._ Elsa pressed her hand against her upset stomach, hoping she wasn't going to throw up. _Great, just great. That stupid storm sense is making me feel sick to my stomach again, worse than before too._

Anna knocked on her door a few minutes later. "Elsa, you want to come down for breakfast today?" she asked hopefully. She asked Elsa that every morning, even though her sister said no thank you about nine times out of ten.

_Breakfast? Maybe if I eat a little something for breakfast in the dining hall with Anna I'll feel better._ "I feel a little sick to my stomach, so I might have to leave…But I'll come down," Elsa answered, opening the door and stepping out into the hall with her sister.

"Are you getting sick?" Anna asked as they started heading downstairs. "Maybe you oughta lie down or something."

Elsa sighed. "I'm not sick…Remember my 'storm sense' thing? There's a tornado coming in four days and…I think it's making my stomach upset," she explained. "At least I can warn someone this time and they'll believe me." Elsa didn't add that the tornado had literally played out in her head because if it freaked her own self out, it was sure to scare Anna too.

"I believe you, Elsa. I'm sure Gerda and Kai will believe you too. You've been right every time you mentioned anything storm sense-y to me," Anna assured her. "Hey, are those new?" she asked, pointing at her sister's gloves.

Elsa frowned and clasped her hands behind her back, out of sight. "Yes. I…messed up my other ones." This was true; she _had_ ruined the ones she was wearing when she'd shot ice all over the wall by accident, but she also had several other identical pairs in her dresser that were now useless.

"Those are prettier than your others. Can I see them again?"

_Yeah, prettier, but also doubly annoying. _"I guess so. As long as you don't touch me," Elsa said, holding one hand out so Anna could see it.

"I'm gonna ask Gerda to make ones like that for me for this winter," Anna announced.

Elsa made a face. "You're a copycat, and you don't want the exact same ones." _Anna is crazy. Why would she want to copy _that_ from me, of all things? She's lucky she doesn't have to wear the things all the time, if you ask me._

"Yes I do. 'Cause I want to have something that's the same as what you have. I want to be like you!"

Elsa suddenly turned and darted back into her room. _No you don't. You don't want to have something that's the same as what I have. I'd never wish my problems on you…or anyone, for that matter. _She slid down on the floor, leaning against the locked door.

"Elsa, what did I say?! I'm sorry for whatever it was! I thought we were gonna have breakfast together!" Anna was very confused as she knocked on Elsa's door again.

_Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa took a deep breath before replying. "You don't need to apologize, Anna. Just…trust me, you do _not_ want to be like me. Go on downstairs to breakfast and make sure you tell Gerda about the tornado, okay? I can't come out right now."

"I'll tell Gerda about the tornado; I promise. What are you going to eat?"

"I have some apples and other stuff in here. Don't worry; I won't starve." Elsa's voice had an ever so slight touch of dry humor.

"Ok, Elsa…I'll be back right after breakfast, ok?"

Elsa nodded, forgetting that Anna could not see her. _I am so stupid sometimes… _"Okay, Anna."

* * *

Over the next three days, Elsa began feeling more and more agitated and sick inside. _That stupid tornado. I hate this._ The good thing was that at least Anna had told her that Gerda had believed the warning, so precautions were set in place. _And I didn't get sent to the dungeon, _Elsa thought, forgetting right then that no one in Arendelle had the authority to make her do that anyway. The cellar was stocked with food; Elsa had carried a few books down there so she could maybe read one with her sister.

Late that night, Elsa found herself running into the bathroom, just _knowing_ she was going to throw up. That sensation of a storm swirling inside her had only intensified the closer the time came for the tornado. The second she felt her tummy was emptied of its contents, she quickly pulled out the bucket under the sink and filled with water before slipping her gloves off and splashing the water on her face. _I HATE throwing up. It's so disgusting._ A second later, the water in the bucket became solid ice and Elsa resisted the urge to scream. _Seriously?! I just wanted to wash my face. Good grief. _Elsa flipped the bucket over and managed to dump the ice into the bathtub, where the single block shattered into hundreds of pieces. _Go ahead and shatter. See if I care._ She refilled the bucket with more water, only to have the same thing happen again. And again. "WHY?! I JUST WANT FIVE MINUTES, OKAY?!" Elsa shouted at the ice.

A second later, she heard a familiar knock on her door and Anna's voice say, "Elsa, I heard you shouting. Are you all right?"

Elsa sighed and stumbled over to her door. "It wasn't a nightmare this time, if that's what you mean. Will you get Gerda, please?"

"I can help you!" Anna said eagerly. "What do you need?"

Elsa bit her lip, her eyes flicking from the ice in the dimly lit bathroom to the door and back again. _I could let Anna in…but what about my problem? Not right now. _"Nothing, never mind…I'm okay," she answered finally.

"What did you want me to get Gerda for then?"

"I threw up, okay?! And I kind of…made a mess," Elsa replied, wincing at the icky misleading comment she'd just said. _I "only" made a mess with ice…not what Anna is going to think._

"I can help you clean it up. I hate barf, but I'll help you anyway, Elsa, 'cause you're my sister."

Elsa couldn't let Anna think that any longer. "It's not a barf mess, Anna…just let me be. Go back to sleep. I'll see you in the cellar tomorrow afternoon during the tornado, okay?"

"Did you break something then?"

"In a way…" Elsa eyed the shattered ice in the bathroom. "Go. To. Bed. Please."_ I can deal with this myself._

"I'll help you fix it," Anna said hopefully.

"You can't, Anna. Just go away!" Elsa was simultaneously relieved and sad when she heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _I probably just made Anna really upset. Why was I so mean to her?_

* * *

The next afternoon after lunch, Elsa and Anna settled themselves in the cellar. "What time is the tornado coming?" Anna asked.

"I don't know exactly. Around two o'clock, I think," Elsa told her, slightly hurt at Anna's neutral tone. _Serves you right, Elsa. You do that to her all the time. Anna's probably upset because of the way you acted last night._ "Did Gerda open all the windows?"

"I thought that was a myth, opening all the windows right before a tornado to equalize pressure."

"It's one of those things that's 'most likely a myth'. Since we have the warning long ahead of time, it's not like we're risking our safety for something that probably doesn't work. Let me go check. I'll be right back." Elsa scrambled up the ladder out of the cellar and went to check the windows. After checking all the windows, she stepped outside into the courtyard to confirm her nagging feeling that the air pressure was dropping fast outside. Elsa immediately darted back inside, clapping her hands over her ears. _It's most definitely dropping. Really, really fast. That tornado is coming very soon._

* * *

"They're all open," Elsa announced as she climbed back down the ladder. "And the air pressure is dropping…so fast," she added. Elsa plopped down on the floor in the corner and curled into a ball, feeling sick. _That tornado better come and go soon. I didn't feel this bad last time there was a tornado. At least I don't feel all out of control…I'm too concentrated on this stupid storm._

"You ok, Elsa?" Anna asked. "I'm sorry I sounded a bit mad at you earlier…I know you didn't feel good last night."

_Why is she apologizing to me? _"I'm okay." Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and clapped her hands over her ears again. It hurt every time the air pressure dropped more. _Stop it, stop it, stop it! This is driving me crazy. I'm not even doing anything!_

"Elsa, what's going on?! You are not either ok!" Anna scrambled over to her sister and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. _Has it got something to do with the storm?_

Elsa opened her eyes and looked at her sister. "It's the storm…it hurts as the air pressure drops…you are officially allowed to say I'm weird now." _Now why did I tell Anna that?! NOBODY is this affected by storms, let alone be able to predict them like I do._

"You aren't weird, Elsa. If you weren't able to predict storms like you do, we might have been in danger when the tornado came and we were caught unawares. Come on, why don't you lay down for awhile? It might make your tummy feel better," Anna said, noticing the way her sister was pressing one hand against her stomach.

Elsa didn't object as Anna brought a rolled-up blanket to use as a pillow and another blanket to put on top of her. _How did Anna know I had an upset tummy? _"Thank you, Anna…" _I should tell Anna what's really wrong with me. Why I can predict storms in the first place. It's just…what if she hates me? Or she's scared of me? I don't know what I would do if I lost her again._

"Better now?" Anna asked. "At least maybe a little bit?"

Elsa nodded and smiled at Anna a bit.

"Elsa, where do you think your storm sense came from?" Anna asked suddenly. "It seems more…I don't know…more exacting than a couple years ago. And it didn't make you feel sick before, either."

_You don't want to know. I should tell you, though. 'I'm sorry; I have ice powers I can't control. That's why I wear gloves all the time and it's where the storm sense came from.' Yeah, right. _Elsa wrestled with herself for a minute, wondering what she should say. _Tell her, Elsa. She deserves to know. _"I'm sorry…I…I have ice…p-" _I can't do it. Why am I such a chicken? A selfish chicken at that. I'm scared of what Anna will think of me if I tell her. She might have figured it out from that for all I know._ Elsa covered her face with her hands and didn't say anything else.

Anna was puzzled. _What is it that Elsa doesn't want to say? Ice p-what? _"You're…sorry you have an icy…personality? Is that what you meant? 'Cause that's the only word that starts with 'p' that I can think of that makes even remote sense. You don't have an icy personality, Elsa. You _are_ friendly; you're just kind of…withdrawn. And reserved. That's not the same thing."

Elsa was so relieved Anna hadn't figured out her-in her opinion awful-secret that she didn't try to correct Anna's line of thought. _I still should tell her. Maybe I can try again another time._

"Elsa, d'you want to play a game?" Anna asked after a long minute.

"I do as long as I don't have to get up to play it," Elsa replied, giving her sister a tiny smile. "I still don't feel very well."

"Let's play Coronation Day! I'll act everything out, and you can just watch!" Anna announced. To Anna's surprise, Elsa just frowned and bit her lip, looking as if she were about to cry. "What's wrong with that?" she asked. "We'll get to open the gates and everything!"

Elsa couldn't hold it in any longer. "Anna, I'm _terrified_ of just the thought of having that coronation in…what is it, ten months now? I'm not good around people…I can barely talk to you without stuttering or pausing to figure out what I want to say. What if I do something stupid? Or mess up something? Insult some dignitary by accident? There are about a million different things that could go wrong…" _And the worst one is revealing my powers to someone by accident. I'll be ousted from the throne for that or something. Anna isn't ready to be queen; she doesn't even want to be._

"Doing something stupid is my job, Elsa!" Anna grinned and gave Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "What on earth are you going to do that's so bad? Drop the orb and stick thingie at the ceremony? You'll be fine."

"It's a scepter, Anna!" Elsa giggled at that; then realized something else horrible. _Do I have to take off my gloves for that part of the ceremony?! I won't drop the orb and scepter, but I might freeze them…great, another thing to worry about._

"What's wrong? You were giggling a second ago…"

"DoIhavetotakeoffmyglovestoholdtheorbandscepter?" Elsa asked all in a rush. _Say no, please say no…_

Anna frowned. "I have no idea, Elsa. I'd have thought you researched every itty bitty thing already."

"That wasn't exactly something I'd thought of. I've been more worried about interacting with our guests at the party after the ceremony, honestly," Elsa said. "I mean, I'm-"

"A PARTY?!" Anna exclaimed. "Ooh, awesome! We're gonna open the gates AND have a party! This sounds better and better all the time!"

Elsa sighed. _Anna is crazy. Why on earth would she want to hang around a bunch of strangers and blather at them all day and all night? I don't think I'd like that very much even if I didn't even have the ice problem. Wait…she probably wants to have a party so she can talk to people who aren't all full of problems and messed up and withdrawn like me. Besides, Anna has always been more sociable than me, even when we were little. I can't begrudge her that._ "If it's exciting to you…I guess that's good," she said slowly.

Anna's mind was off flying at warp speed, thinking how she could maybe meet some new people from outside the castle at the party and, "Hey, once you become queen, we CAN keep the gates open! It'll be so cool! We can really do whatever we want, and-"

"No," Elsa said quietly, firmly. "No. The gates will be open for that one day. Twenty-four hours. No more." Elsa felt horrible shooting down her sister's hopes, but that was something Elsa had decided awhile ago. One day was bad enough. She couldn't deal with guests coming in and out of the castle all the time. _Conceal, don't feel. I had to tell Anna. It'd be even worse if she found out ten months from now. She needed to know._

Anna jumped to her feet in surprise. "Wait, what?! Why?! I've been thinking all this time that once you officially became queen everything might get fixed but now I know it won't. Why can't we have open gates?!" She felt bad for ranting at her sister when she knew Elsa didn't feel well, but she was _mad_. Anna had been counting on that! And Elsa had to go and mess it up.

"We just can't. I'm defective, dangerous and messed up…I can_not_ have guests in the castle," Elsa replied flatly. _Anna, please try to understand. Please. _

"I don't know what you think is messed up about you, but you know what _I_ know is messed up about you?!"

Elsa just stared with wide eyes at her sister, afraid of what she was going to say next. _I pushed her over the edge. That was the last straw for Anna. That stupid open gates thing was really important to her._

"It's _messed up_ to not want to have a party! It's _messed up_ for not wanting to open the gates when it's been like this for years and years! It's _messed up_ to shut yourself away all the time! And-" Anna was completely oblivious to Elsa's hidden reactions. "And you don't know what it's been like for me!"

Elsa had been on the verge of tears that she refused to allow to fall, but now she was just starting to feel downright angry. _I might be messed up; I know I am, but Anna has no right to say I don't know what it's been like for her. I know better than anyone. That isn't fair. _She jumped to her feet, upset stomach forgotten. "No, you don't understand what _I've_ been through! Do you know what it's like to keep trying…and trying…and trying to fix things-your very, very best efforts, mind you-and it's never, _never_ good enough, no matter what you do? What it's like to be a failure every single day of your life, hating yourself…a-and scared of hurting the person who used to be your very best friend? Missing your little sister terribly all that time? What it's like being physically locked in your r-room for years on end by your own parents? Being chained in the d-dungeon for giving the warning about a storm? Having your parents die in a storm you knew was c-coming that you didn't warn them about, knowing their death was partly _your_ fault, even if they wouldn't have believed you if you _had_ g-given the warning? I TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE, ANNA!" Elsa figuratively froze for a moment, realizing she had just shouted the dreaded word she and Anna had purposely avoided using regarding that subject. "Whatever was bad for you, it was probably ten times worse for me." _At least you aren't a defective freak, Anna. _"You know _nothing_ about what this has been like for me. Absolutely _nothing_," she whispered fiercely. Elsa's lower lip quivered, but she refused to cry. She wouldn't. Not now.

"You might think I know nothing about it, but you're wrong. You've been in the same position I have for all that time."

"Right. Everything I just said happened to you, too," Elsa deadpanned, crossing her arms. This time she wasn't hugging herself; she was just mad. "You made a huge mess in your room after the funeral and tried to commit s-"

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT TRYING TO SHOCK ME?!" Anna interrupted. "I was there! I know what happened! Do you know what it was like, knowing what your big sister was doing and unable to get in her room to help?!"

Elsa shook her head mutely.

"It was awful! What if I'd lost you?! Realized what you were doing too late? I was terrified, Elsa! Terrified I was going to lose my big sister! You didn't just hurt yourself that day. You hurt me too!" Suddenly struck by another thought, she added, "Have you got a scar on your wrist? Maybe that's why you still wear your gloves all the time."

Elsa thought Anna looked a bit concerned in the midst of her angry ranting, so she lied. "No, I don't." There was a tiny pink line, barely noticeable, on Elsa's wrist as a reminder of that day, but it was always covered up by her dress sleeves or her gloves or both. No one would ever see it.

"Then why do you wear them all the time?! Have you got a thing about dirt?"

Elsa suddenly realized the tornado was over. She could feel it. "I'm going upstairs. I'm done with this argument." She needed to get away; she felt like she was about to explode. _Hold it together for just a few more minutes, Elsa. You can do it. _Elsa scrambled up the ladder and ran upstairs to her room, away from Anna, away from that horrible argument.

"You're too chicken to finish discussing this!" she heard Anna shout from behind her. "We need to talk about the gates some more! I need to convince you to keep 'em open!"

Elsa ignored her. _No, we do not. I'm not explaining myself again. The gates are staying shut after that stupid party and that's that. So there._

* * *

When Elsa went to bed that night, her room was filled with a foot of snow over the entire floor. Icicles dangled precariously from the ceiling. _Those horrid old things better not fall on me. I am _not_ in the mood. _She pounded on her pillows, remembering Anna telling her to beat up on something soft if she became angry enough to hit something. _And I wish I didn't __have to have that coronation. I just know I'm going to mess something up. I just know it._

**A/N: Um...that happened.:/ I tried to make both Elsa's and Anna's arguments about the 'You don't understand!' thing both understandable...please let me know what you think.:)**

**I've started the next chapter, but I'm not sure exactly where it will end; so we might reach Coronation Day in the next chapter, we might not...I don't know yet.:P**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	28. Coronation Day

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**NinaJoFoster-Of course! Elsa uses the secret passages more in this chapter.:)**

**Toa Aerrow-I didn't mean for anyone to think that Elsa made the tornado, actually...guess I should have made that clearer.:P (Elsa _predicted_ the tornado in great detail, and because she's older and her powers have grown more, she was more affected by it, that's all.:))**

**Guest-Okay, I don't mind.:)**

**olaf99-Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted at all.:P Hopefully it wasn't annoying!:) Yep, I'm continuing the one-shot series. I posted a new one yesterday, and I'll use your idea for the next one.:) P.S. Thanks!:)**

**ElsaAnnaforlife-Yay, glad you're enjoying it!:) I just update whenever I have the chapter finished, lol.:P Every 3-6 days-ish, maybe? I have no idea.:P I put your water all over the hall idea in this chapter. Great idea!:) (I didn't have Elsa try to run away, though) As far as sequels go, read 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna' for now.;) That picks up a month after the movie. I have a sequel plotline for that lined up as soon as it's finished. (if you want the summary, please PM me and I'll be happy to give it to you now:)) I really, really don't like pairing up Elsa with anyone, so she won't be getting married in anything I write. (Although I wouldn't mind if she adopted a kid or something_..._okay, you just gave me a super awesome idea...:)) Anna and Kristoff...hmm, it depends on just how soon the story is taking place. Because I think Elsa would make her wait a loooonggg time before any more marriage proposals.;)**

**On to the story!:) **

Anna knocked on Elsa's door far less often after their argument in the cellar. Elsa realized her sister was avoiding her and so did the same. Elsa had asked Gerda about the orb and scepter problem and then was disconcerted to find out that although there was no specific rule that said 'no gloves', tradition said the new monarch always held the special items with bare hands. So Elsa practiced holding something with her bare hands every day, and failed every time. _I'm never going to get this right._

In spring, Gerda told Elsa that she really should have a new dress for Coronation Day. "Okay…can you just get the measurements off one of my dresses?" Elsa asked.

"Pardon me, princess, but every single one I've seen you wear recently is ever so slightly too short. You need to get new measurements, most likely," Gerda explained.

There were two reasons Elsa did not want to get new measurements taken. One was because she didn't want to risk hurting Gerda by letting her get close enough to measure her. And the other was that Gerda was sure to find out Elsa never wore a corset and then fuss at her about it. Elsa reluctantly agreed, figuring surely she could control it for just a few minutes as long as she kept her gloves on; and well…she'd worry about itchy undergarments only if the topic came up.

Sure enough, the first question Gerda asked Elsa was, "Where's your corset? It has to be on to get the right dress measurements."

Elsa sighed, standing on a small stool in her slip, and just said, "I took it off." _Yeah, I took it off about two hours after I first had it on and never put it on again._

"Just _when_ did you take it off, Princess Elsa?" Gerda asked, immediately suspicious of what Elsa's cryptic statement meant.

"About five years ago." Elsa didn't look a bit sorry. "It was itchy."

Gerda didn't fuss at her for that; after all, Elsa had been shut in her room all that time. She didn't need any other petty thing to bother her, along with everything else. "Princess, itchy or not, you have to wear one, at least just for the one day."

"You didn't even know I never had one on all this time, and you've seen me lots of times," Elsa countered. "I'm skinny as a stick anyway. Princess String Bean, much? I don't think anyone's going to be able to tell."

"Princess, you're going to be awfully embarrassed if someone finds out. What are you going to say?"

"I'll say, 'I'm the queen; I have outlawed the existence of such horrid things,'" Elsa replied a bit childishly.

Gerda couldn't help chuckling at that. "Ok, joke time over, princess. Go get the 'horrid thing' and put it on. Or no chocolate for you."

Elsa reluctantly ran over to her closet and started rummaging around for it. _I don't even remember where I put it._ "I can't find it," she announced a minute later, sounding rather pleased.

"Did you check your dresser?"

"No…" Elsa was disappointed to find it in the very back of one of her drawers. "I found it. I wish I hadn't." _Oh, come on, Elsa, you can deal with the stupid thing for one day._

"Do you need help?" Gerda asked. "I highly doubt you can lace that properly yourself."

"I suppose." Elsa turned her back to let Gerda lace the thing up. "Can't we hurry up?" she asked a moment later. "That thing is driving me crazy already!"

"Oh, come now, princess, it can't be that bad. Will you please stand still?"

Elsa stopped moving around and stood still as a statue. _Itchy, itchy, itchy. How can anyone wear one of these things every day?! _"That's too tight," she complained, trying to reach behind her to loosen the laces. "I can't breathe like that!"

"Princess Elsa, stop it. I promise that's as tight as it gets, although it isn't like it should be. Almost finished," Gerda told her.

"Thank goodness," Elsa muttered under her breath. _I can't wait to take that thing off._ "Are you sure we couldn't just say not wearing a corset is the latest style or something?" she asked hopefully.

"Goodness, no. Princess Elsa, what is going on with you today? Usually you're so mature and grown-up about everything, and right now, you're acting like a five-year-old," Gerda scolded. "Ok, all done."

"Even mature, grown-up Elsa hates itchy things that make it so she can't breathe," Elsa said, although she was smiling now despite her annoyance.

Gerda shook her head. "Well, it's nice to see your mischievous streak show for once, Princess Elsa."

Elsa grinned at that. "Does that mean I get to take it off now?"

"As soon as we're done measuring, ok, princess?"

Elsa stood quietly the next couple of minutes, thinking she was going to have a big issue with wearing a corset _all day_ on Coronation Day. She was apt to be talking to someone important and have to excuse herself for having an itch or something. "Gerda, what if that thing distracts me so much on Coronation Day that I lose control in public?" she asked suddenly.

"Princess, you're wearing it now and you aren't losing control," Gerda pointed out.

_True. But a few minutes isn't the same as all day long. _Elsa bit her lip. _Conceal, don't feel…literally. Don't feel all that constricting itching! _Although that phrase usually made her upset, right that second Elsa couldn't help giggling.

"All finished, princess. What is so funny?"

Elsa wasn't paying attention. _I wish I could tell Anna that line. I bet she would think that's funny._ "I wish I could tell Anna my joke," she said quietly.

"Then why don't you do so?" Gerda suggested as she started unlacing Elsa's corset.

"Anna is mad at me. Remember that tornado late last summer? While we were in the cellar, we…had a big fight. She wanted to 'play Coronation Day'-she wanted to act things out while I watched-and the topic of…opening the castle gates came up. And I…I told her they were only going to be open for the one day, s-so she wasn't getting her hopes up for nothing…Anna understandably had a fit…" Elsa's voice cracked and she stopped talking. "Thank you, Gerda," she added absently as Gerda finally finished unlacing the corset. Elsa went and stuck it in the far back of a drawer.

"Do you want to finish explaining what happened, princess?"

"We shouted a bunch of things at each other that were true but really hurtful," Elsa said flatly. "I _know_ I shouldn't have said what I did to Anna, but I…but I did anyway. It just sort of…happened. She told me I didn't know what it'd been like for her…and…and I spouted off a ton of things I shouldn't have, ending with, 'You know _nothing_ about what this has been like for me. Absolutely _nothing_.'" Elsa's still hurt feelings that she would deny if asked showed in the snowflakes that began falling around her. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…_

"Princess Elsa, you _don't_ know what this has been like for your sister; she does _not_ know what it has been like for you, either. It sounds like you were both understandably mad at each other, but you two should really just forgive each other and make up," Gerda told her.

"Anna t-told me I was…messed up," Elsa whispered, staring down at her hands through her tears. "I agree…w-with her, but…but it hurt anyway. _Why am I so selfish?!_ I've shut her out f-for seemingly no reason for over a decade! That IS messed up!" _Not to mention my stupid ice problem that Anna doesn't even know about. I wish everything could be like it was when Anna and I were little. Such a hopeless wish. It's never going to happen. _"Please go, Gerda…please…" _I'm going to lose control completely in a minute; I just know it._

"You know your sister blathers things she doesn't mean when she's mad, princess. Just keep that in mind," Gerda said, knowing it was impossible to reason with Elsa's ingrained train of thought.

Elsa ran to lock the door the second Gerda left. _Maybe Gerda is right…but the thing is, every single thing either of us said to the other was true. It was just also mean and unfeeling and horrid. _She was ready to make up with her sister, but she wasn't ready to make the first step herself. _What if Anna just shoos me away? I think she'd have the right to, too…I'll wait for Anna to say something to me about it. That should work._

* * *

But Anna never said anything to her about it. Elsa decided that maybe Anna thought _Elsa_ was going to shoo her sister away if Anna came to talk to her. Still, Elsa was too afraid of what her sister's reaction might be if she tried to make the first step herself. Elsa began heading into the secret passages more often again. _Because that's where I can just take a walk and clear my head…be alone without being in my room. And I miss Anna!_ Elsa could make her way around the secret passages without a candle now. The entire convoluted layout was etched into her mind perfectly.

Elsa took to sleeping just inside the secret entrance into Anna's room so she could be near her sister, even if Anna didn't know she was there. She also discovered that she was far less likely to have bad dreams when she slept there. _I think I feel…a bit more peaceful if I know Anna is nearby…and safe from me. I'm not going to hurt her from behind the secret passage wall._

* * *

One morning in early June, Anna decided enough was enough. Maybe she could help Elsa get ready for the coronation since she seemed so freaked out about the whole thing before. _Elsa shut me out for years and years and I don't think it's gonna change now. And I really want those gates open. But maybe she'll at least let me help her get ready, even if we're still kind of in a fight and mad at each other. _Anna fully admitted to herself that she was still mad at her sister, but surely she could get un-mad enough to help Elsa. She bit her lip before knocking on her sister's door.

Elsa jumped in surprise from her desk where she was just eating her breakfast. _Anna?! That was Anna's knock…_ She waited in silence to see what Anna would say.

"Elsa…I know it's been, like, months and months now, but I thought maybe since you were all freaked out about the coronation, maybe I could…helpyougetreadyforit?" Anna finished in a rush.

"You can't!" Elsa blurted without thinking. _My main issue is practicing holding things without freezing them and Anna can't help me with that. _She paused, realizing what she'd just said; then started to say, "I don't mean-"

Anna stamped her foot out in the hall. "What d'you mean I can't help you?!" she interrupted. "That's no fair!"

"Anna, I…that is…the thing I'm having trouble with…you simply can't help me, that's all…thank you for the offer, though. I do miss you; it's just that, well…it's something I have to work out alone…" Elsa suddenly realized she was talking to absolutely nothing as she heard Anna's footsteps stomp off down the hall. _Great job, Elsa. You messed up again. You could have just practiced greeting guests with Anna or something. But no, you just chased her away. _Elsa buried her face in her crossed arms on top of her desk and cried. _I always mess things up. I made Anna mad at me again, and she was trying to help me._

Elsa blinked teary eyes at her now-icy room a few minutes later. "Great, somebody could go skating in here," she said sarcastically, looking at the floor, which was now a smooth sheet of ice. _I wonder if I _can_ skate on my ice…_ Struck with curiosity, Elsa hopped to her feet and tried to do something she hadn't tried to do since she was an angry ten-year-old trying to pull a 'I may be stuck in here, but I can make my own fun' stunt. She had ended up falling and spraining her ankle instead; and getting herself in big trouble. _That was also when I decided that it was most likely impossible to fix me…Well, I'm going to be twenty-one in less than a month. I already iced the floor by mistake; I can try skating on it if I want to._ Soon Elsa was easily skating back and forth across her room. A minute longer, and she began feeling more confident, making little jumps and twists. _I shouldn't be doing this…_ Elsa brought herself to a stop and plopped down at her desk again.

Elsa had no idea some of the ice had spread out into the hall.

* * *

A FEW HOURS LATER…

Anna ran down the hall toward the staircase; then stopped in her tracks at the large puddle of water on the floor in the hall. _Only in front of Elsa's room? _Anna decided she was going to knock on her sister's door again and ask about it, simply out of curiosity. "Hey, Elsa? D'you happen to know why there's, like, a ton of water out in the hall? It's only in front of your room, too…"

Inside her room, Elsa clasped her hands to her chest and backed as far away from the door as possible. _That ice that was in here...it got out into the hall! Now what?!_

"Elsaaa…I think you know something about it or else you'd answer!" Another thing popped into her head. "The water's super cold, too…has this got anything to do with you being immune to cold?" _Wait, that's stupid…right? Elsa couldn't have, like, cooled the water down or something, could she? Maybe she controls water! That's be cool!_

"In a way…" Elsa had no idea what to say. _Anna, quit asking me questions! Please…I'm not ready to explain this right now. 'Anna, I have ice powers I can't control. That's meltwater you see out in the hall. It leaked out of my room.' Yeah…I don't think so…_

Anna decided she was going to go ask Gerda about it since she wasn't getting any useful information from her sister.

"Gerda? Can Elsa control water?" Anna blurted as she walked into the kitchen a few minutes later. "I know it sounds really crazy but I know she's immune to cold and there's freezing cold water all over the floor in the hall upstairs but only outside Elsa's room so I thought-I don't know-maybe she's got some other kind of special ability besides storm sense and being immune to cold? I mean…it'd _kinda_ make sense…except that it just sounds really ridiculous, I don't know? So I guess I just wanna know if Elsa has some kind of special ability that lets her control water?" _Gerda is going to think I'm crazy, _Anna thought. "Hey, maybe Elsa's an elemental of water or something!" she added, remembering a book she had read once.

There was a long silence as Gerda debated whether to tell Anna or not. Technically it was Elsa's business, although Gerda still thought that Elsa should tell Anna. "Princess Elsa _does_ have some special abilities, but no, she cannot control water," she said carefully. "And really, princess, you read those fairy tale type books far too much. You're plenty old enough to know 'elementals' don't exist. That's fantasy."

Anna frowned. "Yeah, I know…I just thought it'd be exciting! And pretty cool…oh well, I'm going to try and figure out what's with Elsa myself…Thanks, Gerda." She turned and ran back upstairs.

* * *

"Hey, Elsa?" Anna asked as she knocked on Elsa's door again. "Are you an elemental?"

Elsa was so surprised she just blurted, "A _what?!_ Of course not!" _I might have ice powers, but I am not one of those elemental characters from Anna's fantasy books. I _know_ that! That's crazy. _Elsa had no idea where exactly her powers had come from, aside from the fact she had been born with them, but she knew in her bones she was _not_ an…elemental. _And I know one reason that would prove it. I'm not immortal like those characters are. Elementals don't exist. _

Anna made a face out in the hall. _Ok, crazy idea nixed. Oh well._

* * *

The next few weeks passed uneventfully. Elsa was getting _slightly_ better at holding things without freezing them-she could make it a few seconds now sometimes if she was calm and concentrating very, very hard-but she was still extremely worried about that particular part of the ceremony. Maybe she could just leave her gloves on and nobody would notice.

_Riiiight._

Elsa decided she would leave her gloves on for that part, tradition or not, unless she was specifically told to take them off. If that happened, she wasn't sure what she was going to do.

* * *

The night before Coronation Day, Elsa couldn't fall asleep because she felt so antsy and anxious. _I'm going to go take a walk._ Quiet as a cat, Elsa slipped out of bed and disappeared into the secret passages, hoping the activity would clear her head. _It's just one day, Elsa. You can make it that long. Once you get through the ceremony, the rest of the day should be fairly straightforward. It's only for one day. Then I can retreat back into dreaded but safe isolation again. _She headed for the exit into the forest and slid the secret door up. Elsa took a deep breath, sniffing the summer night air and the smell of the pine trees. _One day, Elsa. You can do this._ Elsa stayed where she was in the passages until the sky began turning pink. Then she started making her way back to her room. _It's only for today. Only for today._

A few minutes after she arrived back in her room, Elsa heard a knock on her door. "Who is it?" she asked.

"Are you awake, princess? It's Gerda."

Elsa smiled a bit, thinking that she wouldn't have answered if she wasn't awake. She tiptoed over to the door to unlock it before backing away a little. "The door is unlocked," Elsa said.

Gerda came in and handed Elsa a breakfast tray. "Here's your breakfast, Princess Elsa. I'll come back in a few minutes to help you get ready, all right?"

"Okay." Elsa felt like she was just going through the motions; she was feeling a bit tired from not sleeping all night and she was still nervous. _One day, Elsa. It's just one day._ She sat down at her desk and absentmindedly ate her pancakes and drank her milk. _The official ceremony is at ten AM. I just have to get through that. After that, everything will be easier. I'll still have to socialize at that party all afternoon into the evening and whatnot, but the worst part will be over._ After she was finished eating, Elsa pulled a piece of paper out of her desk and began drawing a new version of her dream building drawing that was still fastened to the wall, although it was torn and not really 'readable' anymore. _I need a new drawing…something to calm me down. _Elsa found herself sketching something based mainly off…snowflakes? One that looked exactly like her signature snowflake? _What on earth am I doing?! I'm trying to get my mind _off_ ice and snow, not concentrate on it. Still…it's pretty…and unique…_ She pushed the paper off to the side and stopped drawing, but she didn't ball it up or throw it away.

* * *

Elsa heard another knock on her door and just replied a simple, "Come in," remembering she hadn't actually relocked the door.

"Here's your new dress, Princess Elsa," Gerda said, laying a teal dress with black sleeves on Elsa's bed.

Elsa eyed the dress suspiciously for a moment; then smiled, realizing it was just a dressier version of the ones she usually wore. "It's pretty. Thank you, Gerda."

"You are quite welcome. If you're ready to get dressed, I'll help you lace up your corset, princess," Gerda told her.

Elsa sighed, but she went and pulled the distasteful thing out of her drawer. _Another reason to dislike today…even if it is something silly. _"Is Anna awake?" Elsa asked.

"She _should_ be. Last I saw, Kai was knocking on her door, trying to wake her up," Gerda said. "Princess Elsa, stop purposely slouching and sticking your tummy out. Stand normally, please. You always stand up perfectly straight, so I know you're doing that on purpose."

_I should have known that wasn't going to work. _Elsa had been standing that way on purpose so her corset couldn't be laced quite so tightly. She sighed again and drew herself back up straight to her full height. "It's too tight," she complained a moment later.

"All done, princess. Do you want help with your hair today?"

Elsa shook her head and started pulling the teal dress on, trying her best to ignore the constricting itching of that annoying thing she was wearing. "I can do it. I just want to be by myself for now…" _I'm going to have enough people interaction to last me for forever later today. I need some 'alone time'._

"All right. If you need anything, I'll be happy to help you, though. You'll be fine today, princess."

Elsa immediately ran to lock the door the second Gerda had left. _Deep breaths, Elsa. You're going to be fine. Conceal, don't feel. _There was the sound of running footsteps and then her sister's excited voice singing from outside in the hall. _At least Anna is happy. _She smoothed her dress down in all the right places and glanced at herself in the mirror before slipping her gloves off and starting to fix her hair. _That girl looks nice enough, but she also looks scared out of her wits. And she doesn't look old enough to be queen of Arendelle. _Elsa stuck out her tongue at her reflection and quickly made a twist over the top of her head before coiling the rest of her hair into a bun at the back of her head with the light blue ribbons on her dresser and pinning it in place. _Okay, I'm ready. Or as ready as I'll ever be._ She pulled her gloves back on, fastened her purple cloak on, strode to the door, and yanked it open. _No going back now. This day is NOT going to be a bust. I'm not ruining everything._

* * *

Elsa found herself simply walking around the castle to take her mind off things. She took a deep breath as she gazed out a window overlooking the courtyard. "Don't let them in…don't let them see…" Elsa sang softly, wishing this day was over before it even started. _Keep it in, Elsa. No losing control today. I can't ruin today. _Elsa sighed and turned away from the window. "Be the good girl you always have to be…" she continued. _Just stay perfect for today, Elsa. Make your parents proud, even if you can't really, truly be that perfect girl, no matter how hard you try. _"I can't ever be the daughter my parents wanted…not with my powers," Elsa whispered, not singing anymore. "They wanted a _normal_ girl, not me…at least I haven't ruined my country during the last three years…my ice problem hasn't messed up anything…" _Yet,_ the nasty thought told her. _Shut up, paranoid thoughts. Just get through today, Elsa. I may be defective and whatever else, but I'm _not_ messing up today. I can't afford to make a mistake._

In the room where her father's portrait from _his_ coronation hung, Elsa decided she would practice trying to hold something without freezing it one last time. "Conceal…" she sang to herself, pulling her gloves off. "Don't feel…" Elsa picked up a candlestick and a small box sitting on a table. She turned her back to the table, imagining the bishop was standing behind her conducting the ceremony. _Just a few seconds…a few seconds…You have to be normal for just a few seconds…_ "Put on a show…" Just then, Elsa glanced down at her hands to see frost beginning to spread over the objects. "Make one wrong move and everyone will know…" _I just messed up again. Please just let me get through today…please, please, please…_ Elsa quickly dropped the candlestick and box back on the table and yanked her gloves back on. "But it's only for today." _Only for today. This will all be over in a few hours._

She set her mouth in a determined line and headed for the door. "It's agony to wait…" _I just want to get this over with…without any glaring mishaps, especially ones involving ice._ Elsa yanked the double doors open and announced her first official order of the day. "Tell the guards to open up the gates!" _Okay, first step done. Gates open. Just for today. You can do this, Elsa. You _have_ to do this._ Elsa walked slowly down the hall, singing quietly to herself. "Conceal….don't feel… Conceal…don't feel…" Throwing the doors open out onto the balcony, Elsa stepped outside. Already guests were coming down the main path to the castle gates. Elsa shuddered. _That's way too many people for me. What am I going to do? Deep breaths. Stay calm. _"Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know…" Elsa smiled a little when she was about ninety-nine percent sure she had spotted her sister weaving her way through the crowd, appearing to have the time of her life. _I've done one good thing by today happening like it's supposed to. Anna is happy._

* * *

After being escorted by a few guards to the chapel-it was a cathedral in Elsa's mind-Elsa was happy that at least she'd made it this far without messing up. She had smiled and nodded at _way_ too many people for her taste, but at least she hadn't said anything stupid and she had not lost control. The only trouble now was where on earth was Anna? _Don't tell me…she lost track of time and is off exploring in the marketplace or at the dock or something,_ Elsa thought. Just as the bells began ringing to signal ten o'clock, Anna came running into sight. Elsa sighed in relief. _Good, Anna made it._

"What do I gotta do?" Anna asked, panting.

"You just walk down the aisle in front of your sister and stand next to her for the ceremony," one of the guards told her.

"Mmkay!" Anna exclaimed. "When do I start?"

Elsa shook her head. "_Now._ We don't want to start late. And-" she sniffed for a moment "you smell a tiny bit like seaweed! Where have you been?" _What on earth has Anna been doing?_

Anna shrugged and headed into the chapel, walking as carefully dignified as she could, a big smile still on her face. _I didn't think I smelled funny. Maybe Elsa just has a super sharp nose. Whatever. I hope I get to see Hans again at the party! _

_If I can make it through the ceremony, I'm home free. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._ Elsa waited until she saw Anna standing in her spot at the front before taking a deep breath and walking down the aisle. She could everyone's eyes on her, making her feel all nervous and squirmy inside. _Quit staring at me. It's driving me crazy._ Elsa didn't trust herself to make a genuine smile right now, so she made a point to keep her expression neutral and her eyes gazing straight in front of her.

* * *

When she reached the front, Elsa paused for a moment, remembering the bishop would put the crown on her head first, _before_ she had to pick up the orb and scepter. _Okay, idiotic mistake averted. That would have been embarrassing if I tried picking them up at the wrong time._ Elsa closed her eyes and dropped her head forward, waiting for the bishop to put the crown on her head. _Now…most important moment. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel. _She hesitantly started reaching for the orb and scepter.

The bishop cleared his throat. "Your majesty, the gloves."

_I was afraid of that, _Elsa thought. _I wonder if I could just refuse…no, I can't do that. That will cause a big scene… _She figuratively froze for a moment before slowly taking her gloves off and laying them on the little pillow the orb and scepter were on. Elsa took a deep breath before reaching for the orb and scepter again, her bare hands shaking. _Conceal, don't feel…stay calm. Stay calm. _It was more than a little difficult to stay calm when there were all those people watching her every move. Elsa turned to face her audience, not really hearing anything the bishop was saying. _Conceal, don't feel…You're almost done, Elsa. Almost there. _Elsa's shoulders stiffened when she thought she felt frost beginning to form on her hands. Sure enough, when Elsa dropped her gaze to her hands for a moment, there was frost spreading on the orb and scepter. _No, no, no, Elsa! Please no…conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._

"…Queen Elsa of Arendelle," Elsa heard the bishop say.

Elsa quickly dropped the now-icy orb and scepter back on the pillow and yanked her gloves back on, hoping with all her heart nobody had noticed her mistake. She was sure the bishop had seen her mistake-his surprised gaze had met her scared one for about half a second-but since he hadn't announced it to the crowd or given her a look of revulsion that said she was a disgrace or something; Elsa knew she could trust him not to rat her out, although she was quite sure he'd want to talk to her later. Probably a 'What was _that_ all about?' conversation. _The worst part is over. It didn't go exactly right, but I didn't totally botch it up, either._ Elsa turned back to face the clapping crowd and smiled just a little.

Elsa noticed one man that seemed to be looking _way_ too much at her little sister. _What is he up to? _She didn't recognize him-if she had met him when guests visited the castle when she was little, she didn't remember. Elsa judged him to be a couple years older than her own age and decided she did not want him hanging around Anna. There was something a bit…off about him, although she had no idea what.

* * *

The second Elsa was back at the castle, she retreated into her room for a breather. _Okay, you made it through the ceremony, Elsa. Now you need to make it through the party. _She glanced at the clock, remembering she was supposed to make her entrance into the ballroom at exactly noon. Then she had to greet guests and discuss business with dignitaries face-to-face for the first time in her life and whatever else until who knew how late. _I can stay here for a few more minutes._ Elsa paced back and forth in her room, willing herself to stay calm.

When it was time for her to go downstairs, she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths before slipping out of her room and heading to the ballroom.

Elsa waited out of sight off to the side until it was time for her to walk out onto the throne dais. _Okay, Elsa, it's time. _She walked slowly out onto the throne dais in a rather dignified way, holding her hands clasped together in front of her, and turned to face the party guests.

"Princess Anna of Arendelle," Kai announced, and Anna came running from the opposite side of the room.

Elsa kept her expression neutral although she was giggling a bit inside as she watched her sister's antics. _Anna is a natural crowd-pleaser, even if she's not exactly…doing what she's supposed to be doing. _Anna had just waved happily at the crowd while she stood _below_ the throne dais instead of going to stand next to her sister.

"Oh, here? Are you sure? 'Cause I don't think I'm supposed to-oh! Ok!" Anna rambled as Kai nearly picked her up and put her next to Elsa. She stepped a little bit away from her sister, remembering that Elsa didn't like her getting too close…and besides, Elsa might still be mad at her for all she knew. Elsa hadn't exactly looked _pleased_ about Anna showing up barely in time for the ceremony smelling a bit like seaweed. Still, Anna was very happy. All this people interaction was new and exciting to her. She put one hand to her head and cleared her throat a bit nervously, wondering if she should say something to Elsa. _After all, she's standing right next to me…_

Elsa decided that long-standing fight with her sister or no, she was _not_ going to ignore Anna today. _I'm really not mad at her anymore anyway…just a bit hurt, I suppose. But that's my problem, not hers. I shouldn't not talk to her just because I can't just move on and forget about something, even though I try. _"Hi," she said softly, hoping Anna would be willing to talk to her.

Anna jumped in surprise. "Hi…hi _me_?" she asked, sounding a little incredulous.

Elsa nodded, now smiling a little that Anna had replied to her.

"Oh…um…hi," Anna repeated. _That was silly! Elsa just said that!_

"You look beautiful," Elsa said, trying to think of a way to say _I'm sorry about the fight-I can't completely forget it right now, but I'm not mad at you in the least_ out loud.

"Thank you," Anna replied. "You look beautiful-ler, I mean, not fuller, you don't look fuller but more…more beautiful!"

Elsa giggled. "Thank you." _Signature Anna rambling…bad grammar that she fixes and everything._ She paused for a moment, looking out at the guests in the ballroom. "So…this is what a party looks like…" _It's way too many people for me, but I haven't seen a party since I was eight. And I feel mostly okay right now, not out of control._

"It's warmer than I thought," Anna said suddenly.

Elsa nodded, but she didn't say anything about that. _I have no idea if it's warm in here or not…I can't feel temperatures at all… _"And what is that amazing smell?" she asked. Both girls took a sniff, and…

"Chocolate!" they both exclaimed together, ending up facing one another and giggling.

Suddenly Elsa felt like that whole fight and the awkward silence for the last several months was completely erased. Anna didn't hate her, or think she was messed up. Or if she _did_ genuinely think Elsa was 'messed up', she didn't actually care. _Anna wouldn't share a giggle with me over something like chocolate if she didn't want to be around me. _Elsa knew she couldn't fix everything back the way it was when they were little, but at least they could go back to talking to each other through Elsa's door anyways. _That's better than nothing._

* * *

"Your majesty…the Duke of Weaseltown," Kai announced a moment later.

"Weselton! Duke of Weselton, your majesty," the diminutive little man corrected. "As your closest partner in trade, it seems only fitting that I offer you your first dance as queen. One two, and jump!" The duke proceeded to do a series of odd-looking dance moves that ended in a bow and his toupee flopping forward on his head.

Elsa had first been annoyed that her conversation with Anna had been interrupted and then feeling very uncomfortable at the thought of dancing with anyone, especially _him_. But now she stifled a giggle with one gloved hand before clearing her throat and saying, "Thank you, only I don't dance. But my sister does!" Elsa gestured at her sister, who just started chuckling in a dismissive manner, thinking her sister was joking.

"Lucky you!" the duke exclaimed.

"Wait, _what?!_" That was Anna. "Oh, I don't think-"

"If you swoon, let me know, I'll catch you!" the duke announced, yanking Anna away.

"Sorry…" Elsa was a _tiny_ bit sorry for making her sister dance with that annoying man, but watching him "dance" with Anna made her giggle. _That dreadful little duke can't dance at all! And Anna looks funny…_ Elsa covered a giggle with her hand again as her sister started sending silly '_Why_ did you have to get me into this?!' looks at her.

* * *

A moment later, Elsa lost sight of her sister in the midst of the dancing crowd and jumped when someone greeted her. Elsa kept her expression neutral when she saw just who it was. _I thought you were trying to get my sister's attention. Not mine._ She brushed off her suspicions, thinking that perhaps the man just wanted to speak with her simply because she was the new queen and nothing more.

"May I have the pleasure of the rest of this dance? Prince Hans of the Southern Isles at your service." The man dropped a low bow in front of her.

"No, thank you, sir," Elsa said politely. _Go away. I don't like you. You have some odd aura about you…I don't know what, but I don't like it._

"Could I offer you a formal…_offer_?"

Elsa just blinked in confusion. _I just turned him down for a simple dance. Now he wants a courtship offer or something? Idiot. And I would not accept that anyway, even if I didn't have the ice problem. He's too pushy and he sets me on edge._ She thought carefully, trying to remember what she wanted to say if this topic came up. _No stupid stuttering or pausing, Elsa. Just spit it out. _"I shall have to decline at this time," she replied in a tone that said she was not going to talk about that topic any longer.

"Oh…" Hans sounded surprised that Elsa had turned him down, which she immediately picked up on.

"Do excuse me, I daresay." Elsa ended that awkward conversation and just walked away. _Okay, I know I wasn't rude, but I might be if he bugs me again._ Elsa returned to her original spot on the throne dais and waited for her sister, who was now making her way back towards her.

* * *

"Well, he was sprightly," Elsa said to Anna the second she was close enough to be heard.

Anna rubbed her sore foot as she replied, "Especially for a man in heels!" But she was mostly just happy about how the day had gone so far. She _loved_ talking to lots of different people.

"Are you okay?" Elsa asked. _If that dumb little guy hurt Anna, I'm going to…I'm going to…well, I don't know what, but I'll do something._

Anna was delighted that Elsa was so willing to talk with her all of a sudden, and that she sounded concerned about Anna. "I've never been better. This is so nice! I wish it could be like this all the time."

"Me too," Elsa found herself saying as she gave her sister a slightly sad smile. _Now why did I say that? I do, I really do, but I just can't…it can't be like this all the time…it isn't safe. I just got Anna's hopes up for nothing. You're stupid, Elsa. Really, really stupid. _Elsa's somewhat happy demeanor disappeared, and she looked away from her sister, stiffening up all over. "But it can't."

"But why not? If-"

"It just can't." Elsa turned her back and jerked away from her sister, knowing Anna was trying to touch her or something. _Please don't ask me anymore. I know I should tell you what's wrong, but I can't do it here. Maybe I could write you a note and just tell you that way._

Anna's excitement abruptly disappeared. _Nothing changed. This isn't fair…And I miss spending time with Elsa! _"Excuse me for a minute," she said after a pause.

Elsa watched sadly from her spot on the throne dais as her sister disappeared into the crowd. _I messed up again. I'm sorry, Anna. I really am. At least Anna can enjoy the party, right? I didn't ruin that._

**A/N: I can't believe it; we're officially at the coronation finally!:) Yay!**

**If anyone's wondering why Hans was trying to get Elsa's attention, I always assumed he DID try that and failed. (you know, 'cause he says 'nobody was getting anywhere with her' later in the movie.)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	29. Let It Go

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**NrDg-I always wondered why Hans said that when we NEVER see him or anyone else trying to get Elsa's attention in the movie.:P So I was like, 'Hey, he must have just done it off-screen!' Lol. Thanks! (Um...just assume Elsa did already have something on underneath and she was just being fussy.:P That's what I meant, anyways.:) Although I did not know that's what goes underneath is called.:P Thanks for the info!)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Thanks!:) I figured you were just busy.:) Yeah, I agree.:/ That part just makes me want to give Elsa a big hug and tell her everything's going to be fine.:P **

**Lindstrom-I thought Elsa needed something a bit un-serious to bother with. Plus I figured she has to have SOMETHING silly she doesn't want to do.:) The water in the hallway thing was ElsaAnnaforLife's idea, but I agree yes it gave Anna a good clue. Too bad she didn't come down the hall before it melted...:/ Thanks! I've been thinking Hans HAD to have bothered Elsa at one time or another because he said that.:P**

**BellaCullen931-Thanks!:) Yep, Elsa's big sister instincts are spot on...XD**

**dmcreif-Thank you!:) I thought the coronation party started around noon and went on into the evening/nighttime. I took it that "Love Is An Open Door" actually took up a lot more time than a few minutes. Anna and Hans needed time to actually walk to all those places in that song, But hey, party starting between 5 and 7 works too. Anyway...:) Elsa has more conversation things before Anna comes back in this chapter.:) YES, Elsa should absolutely recognize the duke! She did; I guess I should have made that clearer. Should be cleared up in this chapter that yes she did indeed recognize him.:) Thank you!:)**

**SkySorrow-Yep, Let It Go is in this chapter! Hopefully it's good.:)**

**olaf99-I like filling in the 'plot holes' from Elsa's POV.:) **

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa was still just standing numbly a long while later when she heard an all-too-familiar voice next to her. She resisted the urge to sigh in annoyance as she turned to face the Duke of Weselton. "How may I help you, sir?" she asked, trying her best to be polite.

"I just wish to tell you Weselton shared Arendelle's loss of the _Venskabet_ and the king and queen three years ago."

_Something's wrong with that statement…The _Venskabet_? How would he know the name of my parents' ship since Weselton sent that letter that just said my parents never arrived? _The ship her parents had left on _was_ the _Venskabet_… Elsa shrugged off her suspicious thoughts, figuring her parents had sent a letter with the name of the ship they would be arriving on or something. Perhaps some piece of the ship washed up at Weselton after the storm. "Thank you," she answered simply. Elsa remembered the duke referring to her as a little brat when she was three and that he 'wasn't looking forward' to her being on Arendelle's throne. _I know he still doesn't like me…what is he up to? I'm still certain he has cheated Arendelle for a long time; I just need to prove it. _But she didn't trust herself to steer a conversation the way she wanted it to go; being excellent at people-reading was not going to help her talk to people. _Pretend you're talking to Anna. You know how to talk to her,_ Elsa's mind told her. _ Sort of…I still stutter and pause with what I'm saying half the time, like if I'm upset or nervous…And Anna isn't cheating Arendelle!_ Elsa was just deciding she was going to take her chances and try anyway when she realized the duke was asking her if she intended to raise taxes anytime soon. "I am not," she replied firmly. _Not this again…what does he think I am, an idiot?_

"It would give Arendelle more income!"

"It would…give _Weselton_ more income, yes," Elsa answered in a joking tone, although she was really dead serious. _Quit pausing while you talk, Elsa. You knew exactly what you wanted to say that time._

The duke stared at her as if she were an annoying bug. "You haven't lost any of your three-year-old self's political savvy, have you?"

Elsa was beginning to feel very annoyed, but she was determined not to ruin anything. "Why, no…I haven't _lost_ any…" she let her voice trail off, implying that on the contrary, she had gained some.

With a huff, the duke turned and stalked off.

Elsa knew that was extremely rude on his part, but she was more relieved to see him go than anything else. And more than a little amused. "Well, thank you to you, too," she said, acknowledging that she knew that his actions were rude and that she was not perturbed by it. _Good grief. Awkward conversation. I think I dislike him almost as much as he dislikes me._

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa had slipped off to one side to eat a little something-okay, she wanted some chocolate-when she heard a happy, energetic voice calling her real name, not her 'queen' title. She turned to see a girl with short brown hair about her own age, perhaps a bit older. _She seems friendly…she sort of reminds me of Anna. I think I could talk to her properly. _"Hello. It is nice to…meet you," Elsa said, only pausing a tiny bit as she spoke this time.

"I'm your cousin Rapunzel from Corona," the girl said. "It's so nice to see you, even though I, like, didn't even know you _existed_ until not very long ago! You have a pretty name, Elsa…Would you rather I called you 'Queen Elsa' instead? Because I can if you want me to."

Elsa smiled. "We _are_ cousins…just plain 'Elsa' is fine. If you don't mind me asking, how come you didn't know I existed until a short time ago?" _I just said all that to a stranger-even if she IS family-without pausing or anything. Maybe I'm getting better at talking to people._

"It's a _super_ long story, but to make a quick explanation, it's because I was locked away in a tower till I was eighteen before this crazy adventure with Eugene I had," Rapunzel said.

_Rapunzel was locked away too? Why? She doesn't have uncontrollable ice powers like I do…_ "You're the same age I am…you were locked away too," Elsa replied softly. "Yet you're so upbeat and happy. Just like my sister Anna…" _It's my powers that have messed me up. Now I know two girls who were locked away like me and both of them act perfectly normal…_

"Maybe…you should let the past go. That doesn't have to define who you are now. I'm so glad I met you, Elsa! I think you're really nice," Rapunzel told her. "Oh yeah, and just 'cause you aren't a fan of talking to strangers doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. You might be shy. Or introverted. Or just, like, not like talking to the person you're talking to. Or just feel uncomfortable till you get to know the person better…I thiiinkk…You're the last reason I said!"

Elsa finally felt truly comfortable talking to someone that wasn't her sister or Gerda (sometimes) for the first time since she was little. She smiled again before saying, "You are an instant people-reader like me. Thank you, Rapunzel." _Rapunzel is really nice. I wish I had been able to meet her sooner._

"I better go stop Eugene from making a big scene over something 'cause I'm 'missing'. I hope I'll get to talk to you more later!"

"Me, too." Elsa watched as her cousin headed off across the ballroom. _I think Rapunzel would be a very good friend if she let me be friends with her…wait, what am I thinking? Someone like me doesn't _have_ friends. No one would want to be my friend if they knew what was wrong with me…_ Elsa bit her lip and turned back to the platter of chocolates sitting on the table. She popped one in her mouth and concentrated on the pleasant taste and nothing else. _I like chocolate._

* * *

Elsa spent the next several hours pointedly making sure she was _nowhere_ near that slick little weasel of a duke. _Literally AND figuratively a weasel…_ She had several conversations with other dignitaries, and secured two new trade deals for Arendelle, despite her awkward social ineptitude. One dignitary even made the comment, "You might have disgraceful people skills, but you are certainly a shrewd businesswoman."

Elsa replied after a moment of thought, "I am not sure whether…t-to be derogated or flattered," and ended up making the dignitary chuckle by saying that. That conversation was the best one for Elsa; that man evidently remembered her father well and ended the talk with, "Your parents would be proud of you, Queen Elsa." _I'm doing fine so far. My conversational abilities with strangers might be stunted, but I haven't messed up anything._ Elsa excused herself when she heard Anna's voice. "Thank you for your time."

"Elsa! I mean, Queen!" Anna dropped an awkward curtsy. "Me again. Um…may I present Prince Hans of the Southern Isles!"

_Whaaa….? WHY IS ANNA WITH HANS?! He was just trying to bother _me_ a few hours ago. Why is my sister hanging on his arm like that?! _Elsa gave Hans a curt but polite nod and waited for Anna to explain.

"We would like-" Anna started.

"-your blessing-" Hans continued.

"Of our marriage!" Anna sounded thrilled.

Elsa was horrified. She jerked backwards as her eyes grew big. _Tell me she's kidding…please tell me she's kidding… _"Marriage?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry; I'm confused." Elsa shook her head, unable to believe that even romance-obsessed Anna would want to do such a stupid thing after knowing somebody for _at most _several hours. _That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I don't even like Prince Hans. He's got a 'tude and there's something else…off about him._

"Well, we haven't worked all the details out ourselves. We need a few days to plan the ceremony. Of course we'll have soup, roast, and ice cream-wait, would we live here?" Anna rambled on and on.

"Here?!" Elsa blurted without thinking. _That Prince Hans in my castle. Just what I need. Not. Wait…did he just roll his eyes at Anna or did I just imagine it?_

"Absolutely!" Hans exclaimed.

"Anna-" Elsa needed to grab control of this conversation, and fast. It was spinning out of control. She could NOT let Anna marry somebody she just met, and there was still the trouble that she couldn't have permanent guests in the castle.

Anna kept talking a million miles a minute. "Oh, we can invite _all twelve_ of your brothers to stay with us!"

_TWELVE brothers?! Twelve more reasons this is a horrible idea. Oh wait, I remember…there are thirteen Southern Isles princes. _"What? No, no, no, no, no…" Elsa held up her hands, trying to gesture for Anna to stop talking.

"Of course we have the room-I don't know-some of them must-"

_Not only is this completely ridiculous anyway, it would be a terrible political move for Arendelle. Anna is now first in line to the throne of Arendelle. Hans is, I believe, the youngest of the thirteen Southern Isles princes, so he is thirteenth in line for the throne. Anna and Hans getting married might be good for the Southern Isles, but it isn't good for Arendelle. Not to mention both of them sound like they think getting married is going to be a big sleepover. So stupid. And Anna is too young to get married in my opinion anyway! _Finally Elsa had heard enough. "Wait. Slow down," she said clearly and firmly. "No one's brothers are staying here. No one is getting married." _There. I said it. And I didn't pause or stutter trying to think what to say. Probably because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what I wanted to say, I guess._

"Wait, what?"

Now Elsa felt awful as she looked at her sister's hurt expression. Sure, Anna was being ridiculous about the whole getting married thing; but maybe Elsa could have said something a bit more tactful. _And Anna genuinely doesn't understand that it's stupid, or why I can't have people in the castle. I should tell Anna my problem. If I have to, I'll take her in another room, write her a note, and then give it to her. At least she would know, even if I'm too chicken to tell her out loud._ Now having made her decision, risky or not, she asked, "May I talk to you, please? Alone?" _I'm going to tell her. Even if it's in a note, I'm telling her. _Elsa's neutral expression turned worried as she clasped her hands together close to her chest, feeling nervous. _This is it. If Anna hates me, I don't know what I'll do. But at least I'll have that horrible secret off my chest and Anna will know _why_ everything is like it is._

"No! Whatever you have to say, you can say to both of us," Anna insisted, feeling angry that Elsa would just completely shoot down her plans. Again. _That isn't fair! What does Elsa know about this? She's been stuck in the castle since she was little, too. And she doesn't know Hans at all!_

Elsa found herself reverting back to her impassive, closed off self. _If that's what you want, Anna, then fine. I was going to tell you about my ice problem, even if I had to just write it down to get the point across. Now I won't. I'm not telling you here in front of hundreds of people._ "Fine. You can't marry a man you just met." _I'd tell Anna that even if I _didn't_ have the ice problem. Marrying someone you just met is stupid. You can't get to know a person in a few hours!_

"You can if it's true love!"

_You can't have 'true love' in a few hours! _Elsa's mind screamed. _I know I don't have any experience about such things any more than you do and that I'm awful at social interaction, but I do know that's stupid! _"Anna, what do you know about true love?" she asked, trying to be logical.

"More than you! All you know is how to shut people out!" Anna exclaimed. _Elsa asks me that and she goes and ignores me for months on end because of one fight. Not. Fair._

Elsa jerked backwards as if she had been slapped. _It's not completely my fault! You know that, Anna…okay, it's about ninety-nine percent my fault…because of my powers…_ "You asked for my blessing, but my answer is no. Now excuse me." She needed to get out of there fast. _I'm going to lose control. I can't do that in here in front of all these people! _Elsa turned and started walking away.

"Your majesty, if I may ease your-" Hans started, but Elsa cut him off.

"No, you may not. A-a-and I think you should go," Elsa said shortly. _There goes the stupid stutter again. And I don't want that Prince Hans around my sister or me. _Spotting a nearby guard, she added, "The party is over. Close the gates." _This needs to stop. I have to get out of here…I need to get Anna out of here…I hate this…too many people…got to get out…now…_ Elsa's thoughts were growing frantic.

"What? Elsa, no! No, wait!" Anna couldn't lose the last couple hours of the day now. And she wanted to get Elsa to rethink her decision about Hans. And she was mad. Anna tried to catch Elsa by the arm, but she ended up grabbing Elsa's hand instead.

On instinct, Elsa jerked her hand out of her sister's grasp and her glove slipped off. _Oh no, oh no, oh no…this can't be happening. Not here. Not now._ Elsa frantically grabbed for the glove with her other hand. "Give me my glove!" _Please, Anna, please! I need it!_

But Anna held it just out of reach, thinking that was the only thing that would keep her sister around long enough to talk to. "Elsa, please…I can't live like this anymore!"

Elsa blinked back tears. _I'm sorry, Anna, but I can't fix things. That's one thing I'll always be a failure at. I should stop being selfish and let her leave if she wants to. I have the right to do such a thing now that I'm officially Queen Elsa of Arendelle. _"Then leave," she said quietly. Elsa took one glance at her sister's heartbroken expression and immediately wished she hadn't. She shook her head and turned away, heading for the doors to the ballroom. _I was trying to help, but that definitely didn't. She thinks I just don't want her around._

"What did I ever do to you?!"

Elsa tucked her bare hand protectively under her other elbow and kept walking. _Anna, you didn't do anything. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel. _"Enough, Anna," Elsa said firmly. _Just a little further to the door, Elsa; just a little further. Keep it in. Don't feel._

"No, _why?!_ Why do you shut me out?! Why do you shut the world out?! What are you so _afraid_ of?!" Anna knew she should stop exploding, at least wait till they were in private later, but the words just tumbled out before she could stop them.

Elsa could feel that everyone in that ballroom had their eyes glued on the two sisters, watching their argument. _Everyone's staring at us, Anna. Can't you please shut up, at least for now? Conceal! Don't feel! Conceal! Don't feel!_ Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and shook her head, trying not to listen to her sister's ranting. She could feel her powers threatening to explode out of her at any second. At the 'What are you so _afraid_ of?', Elsa couldn't put up with it any longer. "I said, ENOUGH!" she exclaimed, making a wide gesture with her hand. Too late, she realized that was the wrong hand.

_Very_ much the wrong hand.

Sharp icicles shot from her bare hand in a semicircle, pointing threateningly at all the guests, blocking Elsa off from everyone.

It took Elsa a moment to process exactly what she had just done. _I just…threw icicles…all over the place…in public…WHAT HAVE I DONE?! _This was her worst fear come to life. That she would lose control in public today. _You ruined everything, Elsa. _Elsa clutched her bare hand to her chest, her frightened blue eyes darting back and forth as she tried to read people's reactions. She caught her sister's gaze, and in her terror misread Anna's mostly shocked expression as frightened. If Anna was scared of her, then everyone else definitely would be. No one would accept her on the throne now, and she couldn't blame them. They would chase her down. She was dangerous. What if they wanted to kill her or something? Elsa's panicked thoughts could form only one coherent and logical reaction at the moment. _Run_.

So Elsa fumbled for the doorknob and ran. She had no idea where she was going to go, just that she needed to get out of there. _You ruined everything. You need to leave. Everyone's going to hate you now. You ruined everything you've ever worked for with one careless motion._ Elsa threw the main castle entrance doors open and found herself facing a whole new crowd of people in the courtyard. Clapping for her. _They don't know what I did. Somebody's gonna tell them. I have to get out of here! _Still clutching her bare hand, Elsa ran through the crowd, not really hearing anything anyone was saying. _I should have gone into the secret passages. Too late now…something else I did wrong._

Someone bowed in front of her. Elsa turned and ran in a different direction and nearly ran into a woman holding a baby. _A baby! What if I hurt the baby?!_

"Your majesty, are you all right?" the woman with the baby asked, genuinely concerned.

Elsa shook her head. "N-n-no," she faltered over the word almost inaudibly. _I'm not okay! I just ruined everything! I'm dangerous! Get your baby away from me!_ Elsa stumbled backwards right into one of the fountains in the courtyard and grabbed the edge of it. The sound of crackling ice made her jerk away from it. _I did it again. Stop it, Elsa! Stop it, stop it, stop it! I gotta get out of here! Away from all these people! _Elsa stared in horror at the fountain, now frozen solid into a grotesque shape. People began backing away from her, and Elsa clutched her bare hand to her chest again, feeling even worse when the same woman shielded her baby from her. _I don't blame her, but it still hurts. And I ruined…_everything_!_

"There she is! Stop her!" Elsa heard the Duke of Weselton say.

"Please, just…stay away from me! Stay away!" _It's not safe! _Elsa held her hands in front of her, trying to gesture that all she wanted was just everyone leave her alone and let her get out of here. She wouldn't bother anyone anymore; she just wanted _out._ Ice shot from her bare hand, coating the castle steps. _No, no, no! Conceal! Don't feel! It's too late. You ruined everything, Elsa!_

Having fallen on Elsa's accidental ice, the duke began pointing and shouting at her. "Monster…monster!"

Elsa ran. She had called herself that too many times to count, but hearing someone else call her that to her face, even someone she already knew didn't like her, made her feel awful and broken inside. _Just let me go! Please! I won't bother you by being here anymore. Please leave me alone! I just want to get away from everything. I understand why you're calling me that, but it still hurts. I'm dangerous…I ruined everything…I have to leave…_ Elsa found herself trapped at a dead end at the fjord's edge as she heard Anna calling her name. She looked down and saw…ice forming under her feet into the fjord. _Will it hold me if I step on it?_ Elsa needed an escape route, so she hesitantly took one step onto the ice. It held. She took off at full pelt across the fjord, ice forming under each of her running footsteps. Elsa could hear Anna yelling for her to come back, but she didn't listen. She kept running. _I need to get as far away from Arendelle as possible._

* * *

Elsa kept going, not looking back. She still didn't know where she was going to go. Only that she had to get far, far away from Arendelle. No one would want her there anymore. No one would accept her again.

_ You ruined everything._

Elsa ignored the accusing thoughts and kept running, completely oblivious to all the snow on the ground around her.

_ You need to leave._

"I _am _leaving," Elsa hissed. "Shut up."

_Everyone's going to hate you now._

Elsa shook her head and scrunched her eyes shut as she continued running, now uphill.

_ You ruined everything you've ever worked for with one careless motion._

Elsa couldn't hold her tears in any longer. "I can _never_ go home…never, ever…all those years…all for nothing, absolutely _nothing!_" She suddenly realized she knew where she was now. She was on the way to the big pool with the waterfall where she and Anna had gone swimming when they were little. Elsa suddenly knew exactly where she was going to go. Her feet were subconsciously carrying her in that direction anyway.

She was running to the North Mountain. The place she had dreamed of visiting for years. The happy place she retreated to in her imagination. _There's nothing to keep me from going there now. _Elsa picked up her pace and started running again, despite the steep path. She realized she should be getting tired; it was very late and she had been running for hours, but she didn't care. The farther away she was from Arendelle, the better.

* * *

When Elsa was what she thought was somewhat close to the summit, she finally let her steps slow and gazed around her. _So this is home…_

_ You ruined everything._ "I know…" she whispered.

_ You need to leave._ "I did…"

_ Everyone's going to hate you now. _"I'm away from everyone now. It doesn't matter…"

_You ruined everything you've ever worked for with one careless motion. _"Shut up." _I'm miles and miles away from everyone…if I lose control up here, it won't matter…it won't hurt anything or anyone._ Elsa stopped in her tracks and began singing softly as she gazed up the sky. "The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen…" _Not even mine. I may as well not even exist. I don't even make footprints in the snow. _It was true. The only mark left on the snow was from Elsa's trailing cape.

"A kingdom of isolation…and it looks like I'm the queen." Elsa dropped her clasped hands to her sides and paused. _I'm not the queen of Arendelle…I should just be the queen of isolation. I guess I am. Is this who I am? It's not who I want to be. I don't like that storm of emotions inside of me. I wish it would disappear. _"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside…Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried…" _Have I ever. Thirteen years' worth of effort. Pointless…useless. You're a failure, Elsa. _Elsa wrapped her arms around her middle and closed her eyes.

_All those things I was ever told…they didn't do any good…_ Elsa kept singing, "Don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be…" Elsa shook one finger in front of her as if she were scolding something. _Myself, I guess…What my father told me was _stupid. _How could it ever work? I can't just stuff myself away forever. I didn't. I ruined everything…conc-no, I won't. Not here. This is _my_ place. _My_ refuge. It's been my refuge in my imagination for years. And I'm here now. For real. Who needs a 'reality check'? Not me. _Elsa's voice grew a bit stronger as she kept going. "Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know…"

Elsa stared in disgust at her one remaining glove. "Well, now they know!" She tore that glove off and threw it to the wind. _No use for that anymore. I'm by myself; I outed myself in Arendelle. I can be _me_ here…I can be _ME_ here! I won't hurt anything or anyone. I'm in my element!_

_What was that phrase I've heard before? Oh, yes… _"Let it go!" Elsa's expression brightened as she made a small burst of snowflakes with one hand. "Let it go!" Then the other. "Can't hold me back anymore!" Elsa twirled a snowman into existence that looked exactly like the ones she had made with Anna when she was little. _Nope, no more. I'm done with hiding who I am. I truly can't do it anymore anyway. I miss you, Anna…I wish I could have told you…_

_ This is me. _"Let it go!" Elsa threw her palm to the skies and made a larger burst of snow this time that swirled and floated through the air. "Let it go…" Another burst of snow with her other hand. _I couldn't fix anything…_

_ You ruined everything, Elsa._

"Turn away and slam the door!" _I've slammed doors so many times…I'm doing it again. I'm slamming the door on those horrible thoughts. _Elsa made a swift motion with both hands that sent both swirls of snow behind her drop to the ground.

Elsa whipped both hands to the right, this time shooting a mixture of ice and snow. "I don't care-" then to the other side "-what they're going to say!" _Goodbye, everyone who's ever called me names or thought them behind my back. You will not hurt me ever again. This is me. If you don't like it, that's your problem, not mine. I should be able to be _me_ without being punished for it. Just because I'm different doesn't mean I'm 'defective' or 'messed up'. So there._

Feeling more confident now, Elsa strode forward as if she had no cares in the world. "Let the storm rage on…" _You just stay there, internal storm. You aren't affecting me anymore. I don't care._ She paused as she felt the wind ruffle her bangs and blow her heavy purple cape out behind her. _I don't need that thing. The cold doesn't bother me._

"The cold never bothered me anyway." Elsa unclasped her cape and let it fly off on the wind. _And the other kind of cold? I can act how I want here. I don't have to be cold and indifferent. And people treating _me_ coldly…leaving me in the dungeon…I don't care. They aren't here. This is MY place. _My_ mountain. I don't care what anyone says._

* * *

Elsa's steps grew lighter and happier as she kept walking up the mountain. "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small…" _I should have come here sooner. Nothing can bother me here. _She turned back towards the direction she had come before continuing, "And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!" _No more scared, depressed Elsa! She's gone and she's never coming back. I hope... _"It's time to see what I can do…" Elsa found herself standing at the lip of a deep crevasse and shot her hands forward, creating the beginnings of an icy staircase. _I fell when I made an ice bridge when I was little. I'm much stronger now, so that isn't going to happen. _"…to test the limits and break through!" _No more locked away me. No more unfair rules that are bound to fail anyway. _"No right, no wrong, no rules for me…" Elsa stepped one foot on her icy steps and it immediately turned to smooth, crystal-clear ice. "I'm free!" _I'm finally free. I don't have to try to change my identity anymore. This is me. _For the first time in her life, she was free to be herself without someone fussing at her or being worried about hurting someone or something.

* * *

Held up by nothing but her newfound confidence in her abilities, Elsa joyfully ran up the ice staircase, forming it as she went over the crevasse, her hands running up the intricate railings. "Let it go! Let it go! I am one with the wind and sky!" _I'm here on top of the world. I love it! The wind and the sky doesn't hate me…_ Elsa tossed her hands in the air and spun around as she reached the opposite side of crevasse and completed her staircase. "Let it go! Let it go…"

_You ruined everything._

"You'll _never_ see me cry!" _That girl who goes and bawls over everything is _gone._ I am not letting her back in. _Despite her words, Elsa actually _did_ feel like crying right that moment…she wanted Anna back.

She wanted Anna to see her real self.

She wanted her sister to see her as something besides that terrified girl that had been locked in her room for thirteen years.

_I'm not crying. No. More. This is home now. _Elsa picked up her skirts and stamped firmly on the ground, letting a huge ice snowflake form around her. "Here I stand…and here I'll stay…" _That's _my_ snowflake. That's _my_ personal mark. So there. _Elsa glanced around her, deciding what she wanted to do next. "Let the storm rage on…" _My dream building! I know I can make something similar to it. I just know I can! _Elsa smiled and lifted both hands as the construction of her dreams formed around her, the walls swirling into solid hexagonal fractal shapes of ice, all based off her signature snowflake. _This is my home. This is where I'm going to live. I can make it however I want._

* * *

"My power flurries through the air into the ground…" Elsa spun around, discovering that her snowflake-design-based floor could change color as she gestured at it. _Blue…purple…pink…amazing! My powers made _all this_?! Why didn't I experiment before? _"My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around!" _I love geometric designs…especially _mine._ My signature snowflake pattern! _Elsa began creating an intricate chandelier far above her as the roof completed itself. _That. Is. Awesome. Epic. Amazing. The works! I MADE THAT! _"And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast…"

Elsa plucked the crown from her hair and looked at it for a moment, feeling far too many emotions at once. _What am I? Distressed? Resolved? Sorrowful? Resolved…no, I'm _angry._ That doesn't represent me anymore. No one wants me there. _"I'm never going back…" Elsa tossed the crown away from her, now feeling mostly relieved and happy that she didn't have to deal with everything that crown represented anymore, but a bit regretful that she hadn't been able to fulfill what she had been meant to do since she was little…and no Queen Elsa of Arendelle meant no Princess Anna. _I hurt her…she wouldn't want me around if she knew that anyway…would she? _"The past is in the past!" _No more. It's gone, gone, gone. The past is _gone._ It cannot hurt me anymore._

"Let it go..." _No, Elsa, don't you get upset again. It's okay to be yourself here…let the past go…it's gone…I can be me… _Elsa's hand flew to her hair and pulled it down into her always-favorite single braid and brushed her loose wisps back over her head. "Let it go…and I'll rise like the break of dawn…" Sparkling ice turned her coronation dress into a new creation as she kept singing. _My ice-dress. I've made it before and this time it's staying. _That's_ the real me. _"Let it go…let it go!" Elsa's hands shot out behind her, forming a glittering frosty cape behind her. _A queen should have a cape. Except only my way. I'm the Snow Queen. _"That perfect girl is gone!" _She wasn't ever really there in the first place. She just uselessly fancied trying to be perfect. Trying to please people that were never going to be happy with her no matter what she did. Goodbye, confined, scared, restricted, and whatever else Elsa. You aren't welcome here now. I'm Snow Queen Elsa now._

_ What I should be. _Elsa strode confidently out onto her icy balcony as the sky grew pink outside. "Here I stand in the light of day!" _This is me and this is my new home. And it's beautiful. I'm free at last. _"Let the storm rage on!" Elsa tossed her hands to the sky and proclaimed her new freedom. She was happy, filled with exhilaration and excitement.

She was on top of the world. _Literally and figuratively. Nothing can get to me here. And I'm on the summit!_

"The cold never bothered me anyway." Elsa's expression went to the slightly mischievous smirk she made when she was little. _Nothing can get to me here. So there. _Then she whipped around, her long platinum braid swinging down her back; and strode back into her ice palace, slamming the snowflake-encrusted double doors shut behind her.

_I am home._

Elsa the Snow Queen was free at last. Imagination can be a powerful thing.

**A/N: The duke's comment about the _Venskabet_ won't make any difference in this story, but keep it in mind. It's important for an event months later.:)**

**Please let me know what you think of the whole Let It Go sequence.:P I still don't think I did it justice...:/ I mean, Elsa's kinda happy but she kinda isn't; she's sort of free but not really; it's just super complicated.:P**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	30. In Elsa's Ice Fortress

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**NrDg-Thank you:) I didn't Elsa would be any too comfortable talking to people, even forgetting about her powers...I mean, she's been isolated in her room since she was a little kid, so yeah...:P Yay, my Let It Go sequence was good!:)**

**punky32-Thank you:)**

**artsoccer-Well yeah, but I don't think Elsa knew she did that until after Anna told her.:P**

**Lindstrom-I agree!:) Elsa does have a lot more 'stuff' to work out for herself after the movie is over...I agree. I mean, I don't think 13 years is just going to disappear just like that. (And I don't think Elsa is going to suddenly love socializing with a bunch of people like Anna does, either, lol. Then again, _I_ don't love being a socialite all the time either, and I know lots of people don't too. So that could just be Elsa's personality anyways, even if she is completely happy.:))**

**CieloFede-It's like listening to Elsa's personal thoughts that she wouldn't ordinarily share with anyone.:P**

**bananas-rule-2015-Thank you!:) I like writing about Elsa, even if she is hard to capture on paper (virtual paper?) sometimes.:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thanks for still reading!:) Thank you...I like writing Elsa's character, but she can be hard to write sometimes, lol. Oh, then you'll like this chapter, 'cause FTFTIF Reprise is in it.;)**

**Frozen789-Cool, thanks for the compliment!:)**

**dmcreif-I don't think Elsa would have approved of Hans anyway; hence why she pegged him as a troublemaker.:P Thanks! I always figured that HAD to be what Elsa was going to do; why else would she want to talk to Anna alone and be all nervous about doing so? I'm glad you and others liked the way I wrote the Let It Go scene, 'cause it was kinda hard.:/ :) Yep, this chapter will explain what Elsa was doing until Anna showed up, and cover the FTFTIF Reprise scene. (Yeah, the A/N comment is a hint for what's going to happen in the 'Adventures of Elsa &amp; Anna' sequel, since everything is on the same timeline in my head.:))**

**Fatten Saad-Yep! Elsa's herself now!:) Just...she still has other things that have to happen for her to get her REAL happy ending.;) Hans is a total creep; I really, really don't like him, lol.:P**

**olaf99-Thank you!:) Okay, I promise I will write a 'what if?' story eventually.;) (I do have an idea!) But it's going to be a while because I'd like to finish Secret Passages, Adventures of Elsa &amp; Anna, and the sequel before I do anything else. I WILL do it eventually though!:) P.S. I can understand what you wrote, so no worries.;)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Thanks;) Lol, of course she did-she's Elsa!:)**

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa was still high on adrenaline for awhile after, despite the fact she hadn't slept in…what was it? Nearly forty-eight hours already? Elsa wasn't sure exactly, just that she hadn't slept at all the night before the coronation, and she had spent this past night running up the North Mountain and building her ice palace. _My home._ Elsa felt as if she were floating down the staircase as she went down to the first floor of her creation. _I don't remember making the two staircases, but they sure are pretty…and I know I've drawn them before off my dream building. Hmm, needs something a bit more…_ Elsa flicked her hand, and a delicate ice fountain appeared in the center between the two staircases. _Much better. It feels…nice to be able to use my powers purposely because I want to and not just because I lost control. I should have done that ages ago when I was little. I'm a person too. My parents should have accepted me the way I am. What happened was _not_ fair. This is me,_ she thought, gazing around at her new home. _I made something pretty. A defective freak wouldn't have made this. I am not defective. I don't need to be 'cured' of anything. And my powers are not a disability!_

"I'm just different, and there's nothing wrong with that," Elsa said aloud, holding her signature snowflake in her hand. _And I'm really, really hungry. And thirsty. _She made a small icicle and began eating it, not caring in the least how silly she might have looked eating an icicle.

* * *

Elsa floated back upstairs into the main room with the snowflake etched in the floor. She discovered a door opposite from the balcony and pushed it open. _Empty. I don't remember making this room either. Well, this is my bedroom now._ After a minute, she realized she had just recreated her old room she'd shared with Anna when they were little. _I…miss Anna. This place is completely, utterly perfect otherwise. _With a sad little smile, Elsa made an ice sculpture that looked exactly like her little sister. _There. Ice-Anna will be my companion now._ "Hi, Anna…I wish I'd had the chance to tell you about the real me. But I didn't. I guess it's for the best, isn't it? You would have told me to stay, and I think it was best for everyone that I left." Elsa knew deep in her heart that her sister would not have hated her or abandoned her. After all, she had heard Anna calling her name as she fled across the fjord. _And looking back now, Anna just sounded worried. She didn't hate me. I don't know what Anna would have thought if I told her I hurt her though…_ "Anna, I'm sorry I hurt you when we were little. It was an accident…truly. Would you have hated me if I told you that? I don't know… I know you'll do a great job for Arendelle in my place. Better than I would have done. I don't belong there. You do."

"At least I have a place of my own now. I'm somewhere I actually _belong._ I'm home. I'm free. I won't hurt you or anyone else or anything here. And I can actually be _me_. I'll never forget you, Anna. I still love you." Elsa ignored the tears that trickled down her cheeks and pretended they didn't exist. _Goodbye, real-life Anna. I'm still alone, but I'm free. _Now pure exhaustion hit her like a brick, and Elsa curled up on the snowy bed she had made and immediately fell asleep.

* * *

_Seven-year-old Elsa stood in confusion outside the ice palace, holding four-year-old Anna's hand. Just then, Elsa's grown-up self floated out onto the icy staircase, her sparkling blue ice-dress catching the sunlight._

_ "Are you me?" little Elsa asked, puzzled. "Why are you here all by yourself? This place…it's amazing…but somethin's _missing…_"_

_ Grown-up Elsa's happy smile faded. "You're too naïve, little girl. There's nothing missing here. This is where I'm supposed to be. Alone but free. Go take Anna home. And spend lots of time with her. You have one more year before everything falls apart. One year." Elsa turned away, tears shining in her blue eyes._

_ "What does that mean?! Can I stay here with you? Where's grown-up Anna?!" Little Elsa was so puzzled._

_ Four-year-old Anna ran up the staircase. "Don' cry, grown-up Elsa! Anna love 'ou!"_

_ Little Elsa dashed after her. "Grown-up me doesn't want to be…touched for some reason. Don't bother her." She turned to her grown-up self. "I know what's missing here. You left Anna from your age. You should have brought her with you."_

_ "I COULDN'T! You're innocent, and I won't ruin that. Take your sister and go home! You'll be fine there for another year. Please…just go…" Elsa's present-day self backed away into her icy home._

_ "What will happen then?"_

_ "You don't want to know," grown-up Elsa said firmly._

_ "Yes, I do! It's _my_ future! I have a right to know!" little Elsa shouted, clutching four-year-old Anna close. Why was her grown-up self so jumpy and scared? And where was Anna in the future?_

_ Grown-up Elsa's blue eyes flashed. "Fine, I'll tell you. You lose control of your powers. You hit Anna and nearly kill her. You stay locked in your room with absolutely NO contact with your sister for years on end! You're defective. You end up wearing gloves all the time. Your parents chain you in the dungeon! Your parents die when you're eighteen, and you knew there was a storm coming and you didn't warn them! You throw icicles all over the ballroom at your coronation and everybody hates you! You run up here and make this your new home…and then you're finally free." Elsa's anger dissipated when she saw her younger self's reaction._

_ "YOU'RE LYING!" little Elsa screeched. "That HAS to be a lie! I love Anna! I wouldn't hurt her! And I know my parents don't really like me the way I am, but they wouldn't put me in the dungeon! That's not my future! It isn't; it isn't! And if it is, that's not fair! There's nothing wrong with me! I am not defective!"_

_ "I'm not lying. And no, it isn't fair. You're right…you are not defective. You're just _different._ Don't forget that. Take little Anna and cherish the one safe year you have left. Just please…please go." Elsa's eyes filled with tears, and she retreated into her home and shut the door. _I'm alone, but I'm alone and free, _she thought. _That's better than the last thirteen years have been. I'm alone but free now.

_ Little Elsa hugged her sister close and just collapsed on the icy staircase. "I don't wanna lose you," she whispered tearfully. "I love that ice palace grown-up me made, but I want to keep you, too!"_

_ "Maybe you will! Maybe th' grown-up you we saw just hasn't got her happy endin' yet!" Anna exclaimed as she hugged her sister back._

_ "Fairy tales aren't real," little Elsa replied._

_ "Fairy tales aren't real," grown-up Elsa repeated from behind the door. "And this _is_ my happy ending! It isn't perfect, but it's better than nothing! You two go home!"_

_ "Can't we come in?" Anna begged._

_ "No. Go home! This is _my_ home! _My_ fortress! You two don't belong here, especially you, Anna. And you, little Elsa…come back when you're twenty-one and you'll be me. Until then, go away! Go away, go away, go away!" Elsa sounded completely hysterical. Why did her younger, innocent, naïve self have to terrorize her by coming here? She made this place so she could be free! Free to be herself and free from her past._

_ There was a bright flash, and Elsa somehow knew the two little girls outside were gone. She sighed in relief before wishing she had just let the little girls in. She could have just stayed on the other side of the room or something. Or let the little girls explore her ice palace downstairs while she retreated upstairs. That wouldn't have hurt anything. But no, she just made her younger self cry by informing her of what was going to happen to her instead._

_ Elsa ran up the staircase and leaned out over her balcony as she angrily threw icicles down into the chasm below._

Elsa woke up with tears streaking her cheeks. _That wasn't a scary nightmare. It was just…sad. And I say NO MORE CRYING, Elsa! I am free here. Alone but free. _"Alone but free," Elsa repeated aloud as she headed out onto her balcony. She ran her hand along the railing, loving the fact that she was actually touching something without her gloves on, even if it was just ice. She glanced at the sky, trying to judge what time it was. _Around five or six PM, I think. _Elsa sorely wished she had brought some food with her. Now that the euphoria of building her ice palace had worn off, she was _starving._ What on earth was she supposed to eat way out here in the middle of nowhere? A very beautiful nowhere, but nowhere all the same. Elsa knew she could easily learn to hunt for food and catch herself something to eat, but the thought of killing something with her powers, even for survival purposes, made her shudder.

Elsa decided she would wait until she couldn't stand it any longer to even _remotely_ consider trying to hunt. She could probably last a long while just eating snow, right? And even if the natural snow on the summit melted-which it wouldn't, since it was there all year long-she had an endless supply of snow. She would never run out of that.

* * *

Elsa ran down the staircase leading up to her ice palace, wanting to see what it looked like from the outside. She gasped in delight as she gazed up at all the sparkling spires of her creation. It really was breathtaking. _I love this place! It's all mine, and I made it,_ she thought happily. Elsa slipped off her icy shoes, wanting to feel the snow against her bare feet. Walking over to the lip of the crevasse, Elsa plopped down in the snow and dangled her bare feet over the edge. _Now why am I doing this? I might fall,_ she thought logically. Then, _I'm not going to fall. I know I won't. This mountain is my safe haven. I'm safe here._ Elsa had no idea why she was doing something so _stupid_ as to fool around at the top of a crevasse like that, but right now, she didn't care.

Instead of getting up and moving away from her precarious spot, Elsa flopped down on her tummy and began tossing snowballs into the chasm, trying to hear them when they landed. (She couldn't.) _I have all the time in the world. Maybe I'll start staying up all night and sleeping during the day, just because. Nah, I don't want to do that…I don't have any light in my ice palace. _Elsa hopped to her feet as an idea popped into her head. She could make an icy blue glow with her powers. Maybe if she could make the glow stay when she wasn't holding it, she could make her own lamps! That would be awesome. Elsa bit her lip in concentration, making the shimmering blue glow between her palms. The second she tried to let go of it, it simply disappeared. Elsa made a face. _I can make a whole entire palace and I can't make a light. Dumb. I'm going to try again. _Elsa tried over and over, but it simply didn't work. She could make the glow last indefinitely as long as she was holding it, but if she wasn't directly having contact with it, it would vanish. _Oh well. I guess I'm just not meant to do that. That's okay!_

Elsa sauntered back into her ice palace after it grew dark. She didn't know what sort of wild animals might come way up here, if any, but she didn't want to find out. _I'll be safe inside my ice palace, though. _As Elsa flopped down on her snowy bed upstairs, it came to her that she was thousands of feet above sea level. _The air has to be really thin up here…I wonder why I'm not affected by that, can't even particularly tell. That's actually pretty cool. I can go up to a high mountain summit without feeling ill at all. _Elsa smiled and turned over, quickly falling asleep.

* * *

Early the next morning, Anna and her new traveling companion turned to look back at the now-frozen kingdom. "Arendelle…" Anna said softly, biting her lip a bit. _I bet Elsa doesn't even know she did that. I'm sure she can fix it, though._

"It's completely frozen," Kristoff put in.

"It'll be fine. Elsa will thaw it," Anna replied confidently. _If Elsa made all that, then I'm sure she can undo it, right?_

"Will she?"

"…Yeah. Now come on. This way to the North Mountain?" Anna asked, pointing straight ahead.

Kristoff chuckled. "More like this way," he said, pointing Anna's hand up at the mountain.

_Elsa ran all the way there this fast?! Then again, she IS immune to cold and stuff…maybe the weather actually helps her traveling speed or something, I don't know. _"How long does it take to get there?" Anna asked.

"You crashed the sled. So it's going to take a while. Also you were way, _way_ off course to get to the North Mountain before."

Anna huffed. "I _said_ I was going to replace it! It's not my fault a bunch of wolves started chasing us! And ok, I don't have a super awesome sense of direction. Sor-ry."

"You still crashed it."

"Okay."

* * *

"I know where we are now!" Anna announced a few minutes later. "I went swimming in that pool with Elsa when I was little!" _I must have gotten WAY off track when I stopped at Oaken's…we should have gotten here long time ago. I think. My sense of direction must be kinda yucky. Blah. Oh well. _She pointed at the frozen pool with the waterfall. Anna also noticed that for some reason, this particular area was absolutely _beautiful_ and sparkly. _Elsa must have been a little bit happy when she went through here. This isn't all spiky and scary-looking like those icicles she threw in the ballroom and the frozen fountain._ "I never knew winter could be so beautiful," she said, pushing aside frozen willows, listening to the ice tinkle.

Suddenly Anna heard a voice seeming to come out of nowhere. _What in the world is that?! _

"Yeah…it really is beautiful, isn't it? But it's so white! How about a little color? Maybe some crimson…chartreuse…how about yellow? No, not yellow…yellow and snow? Brrr! No go!" A goofy little snowman came waddling from behind the trees, stopping between Anna and Kristoff and Sven. "Am I right?" he asked Anna.

Anna reacted on impulse. "AAAHHHH!" she screamed and kicked the little snowman's head, which flew off and landed in Kristoff's arms. _Live snowman?!_

"Hi!" the snowman-head said cheerfully.

"You're creepy," Kristoff told the head; then tossed it back at Anna.

The two began throwing the head back and forth.

"I don't want it!" Anna exclaimed.

"Backatcha!"

"Don't!"

"Come on, it's just a head!"

"No!"

"All right, all right we got off to a bad start-" That was the snowman.

Anna caught sight of something and, "Ew, ew, the body!" She slammed the snowman's head back onto his body, but upside down.

"Wait, what am I looking at right now? Why are you hanging off the earth like a bat?" the snowman asked in confusion.

Now that Anna had gotten a good look at the little snowman, he seemed a little familiar somehow. _He looks like the ones Elsa and I made when we were little…except those didn't talk. _"Wait one second…" She flipped the snowman's head back to right side up.

After more silly banter involving a carrot nose and the little snowman (whose name was Olaf) thinking both Kristoff and Sven were named 'Sven', Anna and her small entourage of Kristoff, Sven, and now Olaf continued on their way with Olaf in the lead since he knew where Elsa was.

* * *

Elsa walked down the mountain, hoping she might be able to find some berries or something to eat at a lower altitude. Nothing grew up on the summit of the North Mountain. The one good thing about that was that if there was nothing growing on the summit, then there was nothing to eat for wild animals either, so there wouldn't be anything attacking her ice palace or trying to get in. Elsa had left her shoes back at her ice palace, thinking high heels were no good for walking around on a mountain. The ground was all covered with snow, so she wasn't worried about stepping on something in her bare feet.

Elsa suddenly heard a wolf howling and she took off at a run back in the direction she had come from. _Okay, I didn't find anything to eat, but I don't want to be wolf food either. _She glanced behind her to see at least four big gray furry shapes that had evidently not spotted her yet. Not looking where she was going, she tripped and landed face-first in the snow. _Great job, Elsa. You'd better get out of here because they definitely know you're here now._ Elsa jumped to her feet and kept running. She could hear the wolves behind her, and she blindly threw icicles in that direction, not wanting to see where her shots might have landed._ Home, Elsa…just gotta get home._ Elsa needn't have worried about looking behind her; she hadn't hit any of the wolves, although they did lose interest in her and give up the chase.

Elsa finally slowed her pace when she came into view of her ice palace. She paused with her hands on her knees, panting. _Good grief. I need to find out some way to get something to eat, but I can't even go looking for berries safely…and I might very well end up finding poisonous ones and eating them. _It wasn't like Elsa had a ton of experience foraging for food in the wilderness. She had _zero_ experience. Even when she was little and had gone camping with Anna and her parents, they had just eaten food brought from the castle, not anything else. She knew she could recognize _some_ berries as poisonous from a book she had read, but certainly not many. Elsa didn't even have much of an idea what plants and berries were okay to eat, just that a few specific ones were not.

_ Yes, you can go look for food safely, Elsa. You know you can defend yourself easily enough. _Elsa frowned at that thought. "Maybe, but I don't want to kill anything," she said aloud a moment later.

Elsa slipped her shoes that she'd left on the staircase back on and floated back upstairs and out onto her icy balcony.

* * *

Elsa was still just gazing absently into the distance a long while later when she felt rather than heard a knock on her door from downstairs. She figuratively froze, wondering who on earth would be disturbing her home way up here in the middle of nowhere.

"Elsa? It's me, Anna," Elsa thought she heard Anna say. _Anna?! How did she find me? Why did she come after me?! Anna…my little sister is going to see my ice palace! She's going to see what I made!_ Elsa smiled and ran down to the top of the double staircase, pausing as she stood a bit in the shadows. Sure enough, there was Anna at the bottom of the staircase. "Anna…" she said softly. She wished she could give her sister a hug, but she couldn't. _I'm still not safe for her to be around. Anna doesn't belong here with me._

Anna looked toward Elsa in surprise. _Is Elsa wearing a dress made of…ice?! Elsa looks really pretty. She looks so much happier than before, too. _"Elsa! You look…different. It's a good different…And this place…it's amazing…" _I can't believe Elsa was locked away for _this_. I'd love to be able to make something like this place! And Elsa was calling herself defective and whatever else because she could do this?! That doesn't make any sense…_

Elsa smiled as she held out her hands and looked around her icy home. "Thank you. I never knew what I was capable of," she replied. _Anna actually _likes_ what I made! I mean, I know my ice palace is pretty…I love it, but still…ANNA LIKES WHAT I MADE!_

_Of course she never knew what she was capable of, locked in her room like she was, _Anna thought. _That was double unfair to her…Mom and Dad scared her half to death and locked her in the dungeon and whatever else…Elsa was already trying to make them happy and it just didn't work…and now I know why she was so cold those few times I was with her. She has super awesome ice powers! Why didn't she just tell me? _"I'm so sorry about what happened. If I'd known-"

Elsa's smile disappeared as Anna started to climb the stairs after her. "No, it's okay," she interrupted. "You don't have to apologize…but you should probably go…please…" Elsa looked down at her hands sadly as she clasped them together on the railing. _Anna shouldn't stay here. She should go home before I hurt her again…_

"But I just got here," Anna replied in confusion. She knew Elsa was happy to see her-she'd clearly looked happy less than a minute ago. And now she was upset and telling Anna to leave.

Elsa backed up further. "You belong down in Arendelle," she said quietly. _Unlike me. This is where I belong, Anna. Go home and be the best ruler Arendelle has ever seen. Please._

"So do you!" Anna said, going up another step.

Elsa held one hand close to her chest as she backed away more. "No, Anna, I belong here. Alone. Where I can be who I am…without hurting anybody." _Especially you, Anna. I don't want to hurt you again. Please just leave. I can't go back to Arendelle. I don't belong there. _She put both hands on the railing again, her wistful expression betraying the fact that yes, she did want Anna there. And a tiny part of her did want to go back to her old home. Elsa didn't mind being alone all that much, but she missed Anna terribly-even if it was just talking through her door-and Elsa had to admit to herself that she would probably die in the mountains eventually. There was nothing to eat and she was sure she didn't have the guts to go hunting.

But mostly she just wanted Anna back. Like when they were little. _That's impossible, Elsa. This is your home now. Live with it._

Anna suddenly remembered the other thing she needed to tell Elsa. Arendelle being frozen _was_ going to hurt people. "Actually, about that…" she started.

"…58, 59, 60!" Olaf exclaimed.

Elsa stared in surprise. Had she _made_ a talking snowman?! "Wait. What is that?!" she asked.

"Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!" the little snowman exclaimed, waving at Elsa.

"Olaf?" Elsa asked in surprise. _Anna made Olafs with me when I was little…we built snowmen all the time…_

"You built me," Olaf replied shyly. "Remember that?"

Elsa was completely astonished. "And you're alive?" _I…_made_ Olaf come to life?! I can make sentient snowmen?! _Elsa looked down at her hands in wonder.

Olaf looked down at his little twig arms. "Um…I think so?"

Anna knelt beside Olaf. "He's just like the ones we built as kids. We were so close…we can be like that again," she said hopefully.

Elsa smiled for a moment, but then she suddenly flashbacked to just what had started all the trouble in the first place. _"Catch me!" "Wait, slow down!" …dead silience… Eight-year-old Elsa gasped out her sister's name and hugged an unconscious five-year-old Anna close. … … I hurt her!_ Elsa's mind screamed. _I can't do that again…I can't…_ Elsa's expression contorted in pain as she finally replied, "No, we can't." _I want to, Anna, I really do. But I can't…I'm still dangerous. _She turned and headed up the stairs. _I can't spend any more time with Anna, but I can at least tell her goodbye this time. _"Goodbye, Anna."

"Elsa, wait!" Anna didn't understand why Elsa couldn't come home now that her secret was out. She was sure Elsa could just unfreeze everything and then they'd all live happily ever after. Simple!

"I'm just trying to protect you!" Elsa called back. _I can't deal with this again. Anna, please go. Just leave me alone. You don't have to bother with me anymore. I know you don't hate me, and that's enough for me. I don't deserve to even have that. I hurt you!_

"You don't have to protect me! I'm not afraid! Please don't shut me out again!"

Elsa peeked over her shoulder for a moment, but she kept retreating up the stairs. _Anna doesn't know what I did. She should just leave. I'll be fine here._

Anna started singing now. "Please don't slam the door. You don't have to keep your distance anymore…'Cause for the first time in forever, I finally understand… For the first time in forever, we can fix this hand in hand! We can head down this mountain together-you don't have to live in fear! 'Cause for the first time in forever…I will be right here." _And I will, Elsa. You don't have to be scared anymore._

* * *

Now in the main room with the snowflake pattern etched in the floor, Elsa turned back to face her sister. "Anna…please go back home. Your life awaits! Go enjoy the sun and open up the gates," she sang her reply, hoping since Anna was in a singing mood, then she might be more likely to listen to Elsa if she replied the same way. _You've been wanting to open up the gates for ages. Without me there, you can. Go live your life without me and be happy. Please…_

"Yeah, but-"

Elsa held her hands up, gesturing for Anna to be quiet. "I know-you mean well…but leave me be…" She strode out onto her balcony and smiled a little as she continued, "Yes I'm alone, but I'm alone and free." _It's not perfect, but it's better than before. Anna should just leave me alone and move on. _Elsa turned and headed back inside, her expression growing upset and sad again. "Just stay away and you'll be safe from me…" _At least Anna can just live a normal life without me. I'll stay here by myself. I won't bother anyone, and I can still be me._

"Actually we're not…" Anna regretted saying that the instant after she said it, but it was too late.

"What do you mean you're not?" Elsa asked, dreading what answer she might get. _What did I do? Did I freeze someone when I left? Did someone fall on my ice and get hurt on the castle steps?_

"I get the feeling you don't know!" _Elsa has no idea she froze everything. I know she doesn't…_

Elsa whipped her cape behind her, wanting Anna to just spit it out and stop holding her in suspense. "What do I not know?" _Just tell me. What did I do?!_

"Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep…snow…" Anna winced a bit at her statement, hoping Elsa wouldn't completely freak out. Surely she could just unfreeze it and everything would be fine.

"_What?!_" Elsa gasped in horror. For all the ideas that were running through her mind, the possibility that she had made it snow all over the whole kingdom hadn't occurred to her. She hadn't even known her powers were strong enough to do such a thing, let alone without her even knowing it.

"You kind of set off an eternal winter…everywhere…" _Elsa, you can fix it. Don't freak out. You can do anything!_

"Everywhere?!" _What have I done? And I have no idea how to thaw anything, let alone something of that magnitude…I froze all of Arendelle without even knowing it?! _Snowflakes began falling around Elsa, but she didn't even notice. _What am I supposed to do?!_

"It's ok! You can just unfreeze it!" Anna said cheerfully.

"No, I can't! I-I-I don't know how!" Elsa held her clasped hands out helplessly. _What am I supposed to do?! I can't fix what I did. I didn't even know I did it! I've ruined everything again, and I'm not even there. Elsa, you aren't free. How could you think someone like you could ever be free? You're just stupid. Really, really stupid._

"Sure you can! I know you can!"

Snow began swirling around the room, showing Elsa's stormy feelings. She had tried to fix things by leaving herself, but it didn't work. Even miles and miles away, she was still causing trouble. _I failed again. _"I'm such a fool; I can't be free!" Elsa couldn't even really register her sister trying to get to her troubled mind, still trying to convince her that everything would be fine. She knew Anna was there, but that was it. _I've ruined a whole entire kingdom this time. I'm never going to be free…I can't fix what I did…I'm useless for everything except messing things up or destroying them!_

_ You made your ice palace. That wasn't destructive,_ the logical bit of her thoughts reminded her. _That was-and is!-pretty._

_STUPID. That's ridiculous and selfish, Elsa! You think you deserve to be happy, even by yourself? Well, you don't. You're a defective freak,_ Elsa's nasty thoughts insisted. _You ruin things. You froze Arendelle. You hurt Anna! _"No escape from the storm inside of me!" Elsa hated her emotions; they were causing trouble again. They _never_ did anything good for her. They made her spin out of control.

* * *

Elsa's safe haven was filled with the physical manifestations of her internal storm. That storm was invading her special happy place. She couldn't get rid of it. The more she tried, the more the snow just whirled and blew around stronger and faster. _Control it, Elsa! Conceal! Don't feel! _"I can't control the curse!" she exclaimed, panicking further. Why wouldn't it go away? Elsa wanted it to _stop_, leave her alone. She was starting to feel dizzy and numb all over.

Now Anna's voice cut into her thoughts. "We'll reverse the storm you've made!"

_You can't! I can't! We can't! It's hopeless! I'm stuck this way. I can't fix anything I've done! _"Anna, please, you'll only make it worse!" Elsa realized she was probably going to literally explode like she had done a few years before on Christmas Day if this went on much longer. Anna needed to get out of there. Elsa had no idea what that sort of explosion would do to her or her surroundings now, since she was so much stronger than a few years before. _Anna, get out of here! Get out! Please!_

Elsa turned and stared at her distorted reflection in the icy wall. _That dumb girl looks terrified. And stupid. Dumb ice-dress. Why did I make that? I shouldn't have done that. Announcing what I am. I don't want to be me. I'm still that scared girl locked in her room. Just this time she's locked in her mind than actually physically. Locked from ever having a normal life because she's a defective freak. Locked from the rest of the world in an ice palace because she's dangerous._ "There's so much fear!" The sickening sensation that she was about to explode was just getting worse and Elsa snapped back to her senses. "You're not safe here!" Why couldn't Anna see that there was snow viciously swirling around, and probably only around Elsa? Why wouldn't Anna leave?

_Go back to Arendelle and face what you did, Elsa. Anna wants you to come back anyway. _"No!" Elsa had no idea what she was going to do, but she was _not_ going back to Arendelle. She'd probably just make everything worse. And she was sure nobody wanted her there anyway. _I can't fix anything. I hurt Anna. I want her back, but I can't. I froze Arendelle. I can't be free. I can't control this. I can't make everything all right with Anna again. I can't even touch her or give her a hug. I can't be a proper sister to her. I can't do anything right!_

_ Get rid of this storm in here before you hurt Anna again. Make it stop! Make it stop!_

_ "Catch me!" "Wait, slow down!" …dead silence…_

_ "Just until the storm is over." Seventeen-year-old Elsa turned away from her father and gazed out the dungeon window, her chains rattling behind her._

_ I'm useless for anything and everything besides hurting the people I care about. I should just relieve everyone of the trouble and leave myself. Eighteen-year-old Elsa pressed a sharp shard of ice against her wrist._

_ "It's messed up to shut yourself away all the time! And you don't know what this has been like for me!" Anna exclaimed angrily._

Elsa's mind flitted from one horrible memory to another. _Make it stop! Make it stop! I can't deal with this anymore! And get rid of that storm! I can't! Make it stop...I can't. MAKE. IT. STOP! I can't! MAKE IT STOP, ELSA! _With all her willpower, Elsa forced the storm to retreat back inside her, trying to conceal it, make it stay in, not to explode, not to remember anything else, not to flashback to some other nasty memory from the past. _It hurts…storm has to go out…it hurts…make it go away! Go away!_

Finally the painful pressure of the ice and snow building up inside Elsa was too much for her to handle. _No Elsa, don't explode! Think of Anna! Don't explode ice out everyw-_

Elsa couldn't keep it in any longer no matter how hard she tried. "I CAN'T!" she screamed. Ice exploded out of her in all directions as a searing pain wracked her body all over. _It hurts! Why did my own powers do that to me? Make it stop! Make it stop…please…wait…Anna…_ Elsa's own pain was forgotten at the thought she might have hurt or killed her sister. That ice had exploded all over. Unless Anna had dropped flat on the floor fast enough, Elsa had to have hit her no matter where she had been standing. _Anna, please be okay. Please. I can deal with me getting hurt, but not you._

* * *

Elsa gasped, her heart racing, as she saw her sister kneeling on the floor; then felt a bit relieved when Anna told her she was fine. _She _looks_ fine…maybe I didn't hit her. Anna would be unconscious or worse if I hit her, right?_ Elsa suddenly realized there was another person in the room now, a man. And not that Prince Hans. She drew back against the wall. "Who's this?" Elsa asked in confusion. "Wait, i-it doesn't matter. You have to go." _Get out of here, Anna. Before I really do hit you. I'm completely out of control; I can't do anything about it._

"No! I know we can figure this out. Together!" Anna was determined not to leave Elsa behind, even though she had indeed hit Anna. Elsa needed help. A lot of help. _I can't leave Elsa here by herself like that! She's apt to start getting those icky thoughts again. And with no one here to stop her, she might actually do it this time. _Anna was actually more concerned for her sister than anything else now. _Elsa completely lost it. I don't think she even heard anything I was saying…_

"How? What power do you have to stop this winter? To stop _me_?" Elsa asked desperately, clasping her hands together against her chest. _You can't help me, Anna. Nobody can. I'm a lost cause._ Threatening-looking icy spikes began spreading on the walls, turning Elsa's beautiful palace into something far less inviting.

"Anna, I think we should go," the blond man said.

_Yes! Take Anna and get out of here! _Elsa thought.

"No! I'm not leaving without you, Elsa!" Anna insisted. _You just need someone to talk to and calm you down, Elsa. I'll be your friend. You don't have to stay here by yourself._

Elsa suddenly knew what to do. She had made Olaf; she could make another sentient snowman. With a firm but regretful tone to her voice, the Snow Queen gave her order. "Yes. You are." Elsa threw her hands out, willing into existence another snow creature, but this one was much larger and more menacing-looking. _Anna, please don't hate me. I know I deserve it, but I still love you. I'm just too scared to try to fix anything. I'll only make everything worse._ She knew her snow creature would do what she wanted: simply deposit Anna and whoever her companion was outside. What she did not know was that because she was so jumpy and frightened when she'd made him, the snow creature could be easily provoked into being doubly protective of Elsa and her ice palace.

* * *

Elsa withdrew into her icy bedroom and let herself cry. There was nothing she could do to fix the mess she had made. A kingdom-sized mess. _I was so naïve and stupid to think I'd be free here just because I was miles away from everything. I'm never going to be anything except that scared and defective little girl I was a dozen years ago. The only difference is that I'm a lot more dangerous now. I wish I didn't exist. All I've done my whole life is cause trouble. Even when I was little before the accident, my parents didn't really want me. _"They wanted a _normal_ little girl, like Anna," Elsa whispered bitterly. "I didn't understand why then, but I do now. They should have just gotten rid of me when I was a baby. Then Anna would have been Crown Princess of Arendelle and nobody would have been the wiser…"

Elsa jumped to her feet and ran over to her ice sculpture of Anna standing in the room. She knew it was silly and probably completely insane if someone had been watching her, but she didn't care. Elsa hugged Ice-Anna tightly and sobbed. _I love you, Anna. I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry I can't fix anything. I don't even have this place as a refuge anymore. I can't escape from myself, after all, and that's what I need._

_ There is one thing you could do,_ a morbid thought told her. _You could just leave yourself, you know. Nobody would care. You froze the country._

"No!" Elsa shouted firmly. She hurled that ice shard that had appeared in her hand away from her. "I will _not_ do that! I promised Anna I wouldn't! That's one promise I can keep!" _Besides, if I did do that, Arendelle would be permanently frozen with no way out. I'm the only one that can thaw it…it's just that I can't because I don't know how. My death would not fix Arendelle. I know it wouldn't._ Elsa tried her best to banish those thoughts away. She would _not_ just give up. _I ruined practically everything else in existence, but I will _not_ break my promise to Anna. I won't._

* * *

Elsa forced herself to stop crying, realizing she could very well be unleashing more winter weather down in Arendelle and not even know it. She paced back and forth in the main room with the snowflake-etched floor for hours, not knowing what else to do. "Get it together. Control it! Don't feel, don't feel," she muttered to herself, wishing the eerie red walls of her castle would return to their original color. "Don't. Feel!" Icicles spread up the walls, seeming to point accusingly at her. Elsa felt very small all of a sudden, overwhelmed with everything. She had effectively done something by herself that a whole huge group of people wouldn't be able to do. _I froze my whole entire kingdom. Wait, it isn't my kingdom. It's Anna's. I don't belong there._

Elsa glanced up at the walls as ice crackled around her, giving the room a sinister feel to it and unnerving Elsa even more than she already was. _The one pretty thing I was able to make with my powers is ruined. Just like everything else I do._ No longer were the walls those cheery, calming blue and purplish colors they had been. It was nighttime now, and it just accentuated the creepy feeling those reddish walls were giving her. Elsa felt like her own powers were taunting her, reminding her how utterly ridiculous and stupid it had been for her to feel free and happy for the first time in her life. _This is all you'll ever be, Elsa. Scared of your own self and unleashing destruction on everything. A monster. Dangerous. Just like those red walls._

* * *

Elsa jumped when she heard a deep voice calling her name. _Now what?_ She hesitantly peeked down the stairs and saw the big snow creature she had made. Elsa ran down the steps. She wasn't going to hurt a snow creature she had made herself.

"ELSA IS UPSET," Marshmallow rumbled. "MARSHMALLOW WILL HELP."

Elsa gave her snow creature a hug…or rather, she gave his leg a hug. _His name is Marshmallow? Okay then. _"You can't help, Marshmallow. I froze Arendelle and I can't fix it. But thank you anyway."

"FROZEN IS GOOD. NOT A PROBLEM."

Elsa gave Marshmallow a sad smile. _Of course Marshmallow doesn't see a problem with that. He's perfectly at home with everything freezing cold. _"It isn't good for normal people…"

Marshmallow carefully picked up Elsa in one of his huge icy hands (claws?) and stared closely at her. "ELSA IS NORMAL," he said firmly in that deep rumbling voice.

Elsa shook her head and burst into tears. "No I'm not. I'm just a…a…a defective freak. I ruined everything!" She had no idea why being held high in the air by Marshmallow didn't faze her in the least, but it didn't. It actually felt nice to be held, even if it was 'just' her live snow creature. _I can't hurt him._

Marshmallow clumsily hugged Elsa close, cradling her as if she were a little girl instead of twenty-one. "ELSA IS NORMAL. HER NORMAL. NOT A FREAK. THERE IS NO NORMAL NORMAL."

_I'm…_my_ normal? I agree that there is no 'normal normal', but I still don't like my normal. I ruin everything…_ Elsa didn't know what to say, so she said nothing and just leaned her head against Marshmallow.

"ELSA SHOULD SLEEP. IT IS DARK AND LATE," Marshmallow rumbled, patting Elsa on the head.

Elsa smiled a bit. "Thank you, Marshmallow," she said softly.

"IS ELSA HAPPY NOW? MY JOB: KEEP ELSA SAFE AND HAPPY." Marshmallow carefully set Elsa back down on the floor.

"No, but I feel a tiny bit better," Elsa replied honestly. _The only way I'm going to be happy is if I can fix everything, and I can't._

"MARSHMALLOW WILL GUARD OUTSIDE. PROTECT ELSA'S FORTRESS," Marshmallow told her.

Elsa nodded and headed back upstairs. "Thank you." _I guess I'll try to go to sleep. I'll think more about how to fix this tomorrow. I'll fail, I know I will, but I definitely won't even be able to think if I don't sleep. _She was pleased to notice that the dark red walls upstairs had faded to a worried pink, and the creepy-looking icicles were gone.

Elsa curled up on her snowy bed and managed to fall asleep.

**A/N: Sorry Elsa didn't do anything super interesting in her ice palace before Anna showed up. I tried to keep it realistic...so yeah, Elsa just slept for a while (and had a sad dream), and tried to figure out where to get some food.;)**

**Please let me know if the FTFTIF Reprise scene made sense. I wanted to keep it mainly from Elsa's POV, but she's completely freaking out and somehow I really don't think she heard most of what Anna was singing.:/**

**I always thought Marshmallow wasn't really mean; he's just overly protective of Elsa and her ice palace. So...yeah.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	31. I Am The Snow Queen

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thank you.:) It seems like Elsa is completely stuck in whatever rotten thoughts she's having and not hearing Anna at all.:/ Yep, I actually did do that on purpose.:P I think Marshmallow isn't a mean character; he just gets really protective of Elsa and her ice palace. I didn't want Elsa pacing back and forth saying 'conceal, don't feel' to herself all night...so yeah, Marshmallow tried to make her feel better.:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Yeah, I wanted Marshmallow to have some actual personality besides 'GO AWAY!' So he got to try to make Elsa feel better.:) Lol, Elsa really did need to find food if she was going to stay up there much longer...;)**

**Fatten Saad-Thanks!:)**

**1234-Lol, thanks:)**

**BellaCullen931-Thanks to you, too!:)**

**Guest-Thank you:) Those painful memories that were bothering Elsa in that scene are all things that happened earlier in the story...that's where they came from.:P P.S. Thanks!;)**

**Lindstrom-Elsa seriously needs a hug...except she won't let anyone do that except Marshmallow.:/ And thanks:)**

**olaf99-Lol, that's true! XD **

**On to the story!:)**

It was still dark outside the next morning when Marshmallow, who had disguised himself as a simple mound of snow, heard voices close nearby.

"We are here to find Princess Anna. Be on guard, but no harm is to come to the queen," Marshmallow heard a man say.

Marshmallow heard muttered replies, and decided that he should get these intruders away from Elsa and her home immediately. There was no need for these people to 'be on guard' around Elsa. Elsa wasn't going to do anything to them. "GO AWAY!" Marshmallow bellowed, slamming one icy fist on the ground, then the other.

* * *

Inside the palace, Elsa jerked awake at the sound of some sort of commotion outside. She rubbed her eyes and ran downstairs. _What is going on?! It's barely light outside at all yet…_ Elsa opened the main entrance double doors a crack and immediately wished she hadn't. _Why is Prince Hans here?! With a group of Arendelle guards? And wait…those two guards belong to the Duke of Weselton…oh no. They're after me! Why are they here?! _Elsa's eyes widened when she realized the two Weselton guards were charging up the steps toward her. Elsa dropped the doors shut and started running upstairs. Too late, she realized she should have just frozen the doors shut. _They already got in. It's too late now!_

Elsa's heart pounded as she turned to face the two thugs in the main room upstairs. _I'm trapped! There's nowhere for me to go! _The two intruders raised their crossbows. "No…please!" she pleaded, holding up her hands. _Please don't shoot me…I might not have anything to live for, really, but I know I don't want to die like this! Please leave me alone! I didn't attack you. _Elsa instinctively shielded her face with her arms as an arrow whistled straight for her. A moment of bracing for the what was sure to be painful impact, and then…nothing. _I'm…not dead?_ Elsa opened her squeezed-shut eyes to see the arrow frozen in an ice wall inches from her face. She jerked backwards and gasped. _They want to kill me. They tried to kill me. And my powers…just somehow _knew_ to help me? My ice can stop a crossbow shot? _She hadn't purposely made that ice barrier; it just _happened_ on nothing but subconscious instinct.

_ Wait…I'm not completely helpless…am I? I don't want to kill them, even if they did try to do the same to me. But isn't it okay to try to defend yourself if someone attacks you first? Maybe I can chase them away without hurting them… _"Stay away!" Elsa shouted, shooting a defensive ice blast that sent the two thugs tumbling head over heels. _Leave! Please leave! I don't want to hurt you, but you invaded my home and you're trying to kill me. Leave me alone!_

Elsa shot ice again and again, deflecting the attacks, but the intruders would not leave. _I am…not helpless. I can defend myself. You think I'm just a damsel in distress, except you want to kill her instead of rescue her. Except you won't! I'm going to save myself! You attacked me for no reason! I did _nothing_ to you! I told you to leave me alone! Get out of my castle! This is _my_ place! And if you kill me, there will be no way to thaw Arendelle EVER!_ _I don't know how, but I do know that nothing but me can ever fix it…if I could figure out how…AND GET OUT OF MY HOME! _Elsa's fear and anguish at the thought of fighting with her powers was quickly morphing into anger. She had not provoked those guards. They just barged into her icy fortress and tried to assassinate her. _I told you to go away!_

Elsa's blue eyes darted from one side to the other as the two intruders circled her. _You think you have me cornered because there's two of you and one of me. Well, take that!_ Instantly one man was pinned against the wall with several sharp icicles, one moving very close to his throat. Keeping one hand out to control the icicles, she quickly formed two ice walls on either side of the second guard, disarming him in the process. _If I'm going to die, I want to die on _my_ terms, not yours. So there. You will not invade my place again! Wait…Elsa…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Are you about to hurt these people?!_

_They invaded my fortress! They asked for it! They tried to kill me! I have the right to defend myself! _Elsa hesitated for a millisecond before forming a third wall and sliding it across the floor, a strong stream of magic pushing that guard out onto the balcony. The icy floor had darkened to a murky color, and the walls were an angry amber yellow. Elsa didn't care.

Elsa's beautiful doors leading out to the balcony snapped off their icy hinges, shattering the railing outside. _How dare you come in here and ruin my home! I am the Snow Queen! You think I'm a monster and I don't care. You don't define me! Maybe I am a monster. And you invaded my fortress of refuge! This is my place! Get out! I have the right to do what I want to you-you think I'm the one causing all the trouble anyway…I DON'T CARE! It's not fair; it's not, it's not! My parents hated me, so why shouldn't everyone else? I may as well give them a reason to. GET OUT OF MY HOME! _With all her strength, Elsa forced the ice wall almost to the edge of the balcony, nearly sending the man plummeting into the chasm below.

Only one tiny thing far in the back of her mind kept Elsa from simply impaling the one man and sending the other off the balcony without any qualms. _Anna…she wouldn't want me to kill people. But what does it matter? I'm already dangerous. I'm already defective. Why not just embrace that? I can never change. _Elsa's expression hardened as she prepared to just finish them off.

They had attacked her.

They invaded her home.

She could never change anyway. Why shouldn't she just be the _thing_ everyone thought she was? It didn't matter.

"Queen Elsa! Don't be the monster they fear you are!" Elsa heard Hans say.

Elsa hesitated. _What am I doing?! I'm not a murderer. I might be a ton of other bad things, but I'm not that. I don't want to stoop to killing someone…do I? I don't really want to be a monster. If _not_ killing those intruders makes me not a monster, then I don't want to do it._

_ I knew you'd do the right thing, _Anna's voice seemed to say in Elsa's head.

_Wait a second…why would Hans care what-_ Elsa's suspicion that something was amiss were cut short as she heard a forbidding tinkling sound high overhead. She gasped as she looked up to see her ice chandelier plummeting toward her. _What happened to my chandelier?!_ Elsa started scrambling frantically out of the way. That thing was going to crush her if it landed on her. _Move, Elsa! Move!_

Elsa felt tiny shards of ice pricking her back, and she somehow tripped and went sprawling headfirst. All Elsa could think was that her head hurt something awful, and that _something_ was dubious about how her chandelier had fallen, although she wasn't sure what.

The last thing Elsa heard was her ice chandelier shattering into thousands of pieces and a nasty ringing sound. Then everything went black.

* * *

"What did you save her for?!" the Weselton guard pinned to the wall exclaimed angrily a moment later. "I almost had her! The winter would have ended!"

"We do not know that one way or the other," Hans answered. "Perhaps Queen Elsa can lift the winter herself." He wondered whether she really could or not. Probably not. But he needed to at least talk to her before letting her die. Then it wouldn't look like he had anything to do with her demise. Hans knelt next to Elsa, checking her wrist for a pulse. "She's just knocked out," he told everyone.

"Leave her there then," the other Weselton man said, having managed to edge his way around the ice wall and back into the room.

"_Leave_ the queen here?!" Hans feigned incredulity at that suggestion. "We must take her back to Arendelle. She's been injured."

The Arendelle guards nodded in agreement. Yes, Elsa had caused a lot of trouble for Arendelle, but she was still the rightful queen.

Hans scooped up Elsa's limp form and carried her out of the palace.

* * *

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER…

"Prince Hans, you didn't need to tie her up," one Arendelle guard pointed out. "Queen Elsa is unconscious for one thing, and if she _did_ wake up, I don't think simple ropes would keep her from leaving if she wanted to anyway…"

Hans made no reply. There really was no answer to that logic. He glanced at Elsa lying in the back of the sled. _Yep, bringing her back is definitely the right course of action. I couldn't just leave her in that ice building…nah…_

Elsa stirred a bit and made a quiet whimpering noise. She couldn't even open her eyes right now because her head hurt so much. _What happened? Where am I? Why do my wrists and ankles feel all constricted? _Elsa could sort of feel that she was lying on something that was moving, but it hurt to think and she couldn't seem to remember anything that just happened. She felt the whatever-it-was stop moving and then tried unsuccessfully to turn her face away from the bitter-tasting liquid someone was trying to feed her. _That's icky…what is it? _she thought absently.

"Drink up. It'll make your head feel better. That's it. Good girl," Elsa heard someone say.

Elsa couldn't remember why, but now the bit of her mind that was actually coherent was screaming at her to get away from whoever that person was. That person wasn't trying to help her. She just knew he wasn't. He might be poisoning her, for all she knew. Or he might hurt her and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. _Move, Elsa…move…stupid girl…make yourself get up and move…I can't…I need to…_ Elsa's body refused to listen to her and she drifted off into nothingness again.

Hans sighed in relief when Elsa went still again. If Elsa had woken up all the way, she might very well have easily frozen the whole lot of them. And even if she didn't do that, she would definitely simply run off and escape. Besides, he knew Elsa wasn't stupid. She was already at least somewhat suspicious of him, he knew, and for good reason.

* * *

Hours later, the group arrived back in Arendelle. Hans knew exactly where he was going to put Elsa. After exploring the castle Anna had left him in charge of, he'd found that cell with the special shackles in it. Surely Elsa wouldn't be able to escape out of there.

"What happened to her?!" Gerda asked in concern as Hans and his entourage came into the castle with a still unconscious Elsa. She reached for Elsa and quickly carried her inside before getting those ropes off her. "Why did you do that to her? She isn't even awake, for goodness sakes."

"We could not find the princess," Hans said, skirting the question.

Gerda ignored him and began taking Elsa upstairs.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hans asked.

"I'm going to put our rightful queen in her own room," Gerda informed him, not caring that technically Hans was in charge until Anna returned and/or Elsa retook her proper place.

"You can't put her there. She's dangerous-she froze the whole kingdom, for goodness sakes. It would be safer for everyone, including Queen Elsa, if she was put downstairs in that special cell," Hans replied.

"Put a guard outside her room, then. Prince Hans, you can't put Queen Elsa in the dungeon," Gerda said, frowning down at the unconscious girl in her arms. _Elsa can't go down there again. She's going to be really upset if she wakes up like that…_

"What if she goes out of control again? All of Arendelle is frozen as it is."

"She froze Arendelle because she was scared and upset! Do you really think locking Queen Elsa in the dungeon will help her fix what she's done?"

"It will keep her from causing any more damage. Queen Elsa is going down there whether you approve or not."

"Then I'll take her myself." Gerda knew she didn't have the authority to go against anything Hans was doing since Anna had left him in charge, but she could at least make sure Elsa was as safe and comfortable as she could be down there.

Although he would never admit it, Hans was actually a bit scared of Elsa…the girl had nearly killed two armed people with her bare hands, she had frozen an entire kingdom, and she already didn't like him. So Hans gladly allowed Gerda to take Elsa down to the dungeon. Maybe she would freeze Gerda instead of him.

* * *

Gerda gently set Elsa down on the bench in that cell. She had a sick feeling that Elsa still being unconscious didn't have anything to do with getting knocked on the head. There wasn't a mark on Elsa anywhere aside from a bruise near her hairline that couldn't be seen at all unless you looked closely. _Elsa wouldn't be unconscious for all this time just from that. Someone kept her knocked out on purpose._ Gerda frowned and carefully laid Elsa's now-shackled hands next to her before covering her with a blanket. Then she left a short note next to Elsa, hoping Elsa would find and read it when she woke up.

* * *

Elsa stirred a few minutes later. The first thought that popped into her head was that she needed to _get up and run, _since the last thing she remembered was that voice she didn't trust talking to her. _My head doesn't hurt quite so much anymore…I still have a nasty headache, though…_ Elsa's eyes slowly fluttered open and took in her surroundings. _I'm imagining this, right? Either I'm delirious or someone is playing a horrible joke on me…please tell me this isn't the castle dungeon…please…_ Elsa slowly sat up, the blanket that had been covering her falling to the floor. _I'm still wearing my ice-dress…is this real? Please don't let this be real…please…wait, who cares if this is real or not; I need to get out of here! _Even in her still-confused state, Elsa still knew she needed to escape somehow. Elsa jumped to her feet, ignoring her aching head, and ran toward the single window. She could just break the glass and get out that way.

Elsa felt a painful yank on her arms as the chains pulled taut. She turned back to see her hands shackled for the third time in her life. _This isn't a dream. This is real…terribly, awfully real. Who thought it would be funny to put me here? I was already knocked out…why didn't they just leave me in my ice palace to die? I'd rather be dead than be in here. I hate this place. This place makes me feel sick inside. _Elsa carefully stepped around the chains and looked out the latticed window as best she could. It was enough to show her the frozen fjord outside. Elsa had known she'd frozen Arendelle since Anna had told her so, but it was another thing entirely to see the mess for herself. "Oh no…what have I done?" she whispered. _And I can't even fix it. You're useless, Elsa. You shouldn't even exist._

Elsa jerked her gaze toward the door when she heard a key in the lock. _Oh, it's you, Prince Hans. Now I know what happened. You brought me back here for some inexplicable reason. You're the one who was feeding me that nasty liquid evidently on the way back to Arendelle…wait, was that some kind of drug that made me stay asleep? What happened with my chandelier? _"Why did you bring me here?" she asked, using the most authoritative voice she could muster, despite her situation.

"I couldn't just let them kill you," Hans replied, thinking he was indirectly telling Elsa she would be dead if he hadn't intervened.

_So you did drop the chandelier on me? Why did you stop me from killing those people anyway? If you hadn't said anything to me, I would have done it. I know I would have…they wouldn't have had a chance to kill me…I'm glad you stopped me, but there had to have been something in it for you…And I shouldn't be here in Arendelle. If I caused this much damage when I was miles and miles away, then it'll be ten times worse with me nearby. _Elsa held up her shackled hands. "But I'm a danger to Arendelle." _Wait a second…Hans doesn't have the authority to put me here. And I know Anna wouldn't have done that. That means someone else is in charge, right? Who took my sister's place when she came after me? _"Get Anna." _Anna will let me go. I know she wants me to stay in Arendelle, but she wouldn't leave me chained up down here. I know she wouldn't._

"Anna has not returned." Hans paused, making sure that information sunk into Elsa's head.

Elsa turned a worried face back toward the window. _Anna is stuck out in that storm?! What if she's lost? Or she got attacked by wolves? She's going to freeze to death! Someone needs to find her! What if…what if I really did hit her when I exploded like that? Please no…please…_

"If you would just stop the winter, bring back summer…please," Hans continued.

Elsa closed her eyes and shook her head a bit before looking back at Hans and saying, "Don't you see? I _can't…_" _Do you really think I want to leave Arendelle like this? I don't know how to fix what I did. And now Anna is missing! I need to get out of here…I'm dangerous to Arendelle and I need to go look for Anna._ "You have to tell them to let me go!" she added desperately. Elsa didn't trust Hans in the least, but it wasn't like she had much choice of who to turn to for help in her position.

"I will do what I can."

Elsa's blue eyes widened as the door shut and locked behind Hans, leaving her fearful, angry, and alone. _What else is new? That's the way I always am anyway…and I have a sinking feeling Hans is _not_ going to help me. He didn't look completely sincere to me. Saying you'll 'do what you can' isn't a promise to help someone. It's skirting the question. And where's Anna?! I have to find her! I need to know she's safe!_ Elsa gasped and looked down as she felt frost forming on her hands and spreading onto her shackles. _Great. I'm going out of control again._

* * *

Elsa plopped down on the bench and kicked at the chains, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu at the action. _No flashbacks, Elsa. Just no. _Her eyes fell on the note Gerda had left her. _Wait…what is that? _She squinted in the dim light, trying to read it._ If my hands weren't chained up, I could take it over to the window to get some better light,_ Elsa thought bitterly. Elsa shook her head and peered closely at the note. _'Queen Elsa, you froze all of Arendelle accidentally. You must break out of that cell and escape. You can do it. Your sister hasn't returned, and she left Prince Hans of the Southern Isles in charge in her place. I am not certain, but I don't think he has your or Arendelle's best interest in mind. Your loyal long-time servant.'_ There was no signature, presumably so that the note could not be traced if found, but Elsa was fairly sure she recognized Gerda's handwriting."So Hans _is_ in charge," she whispered. "He must have coerced Gerda into locking me down here, knowing I wouldn't be able to get out…" _But Gerda thinks I can, because I froze Arendelle…but I've actually tried to break these shackles before, and I couldn't. I can't calm that storm, and I can't find Anna. This time I'm helpless…maybe this is where I belong. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe my parents should have just left me here permanently…_ She lay down and curled into a ball, pulling her knees to her chest as best she could considering those horrid things on her hands. _Why can't everything just end? I'm so tired of causing trouble. Now I've probably put a death sentence on my own sister. I don't care what happens to me, but I have to know if Anna is okay! _Tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks. There was nothing left for her to do. She couldn't even try to look for her sister, let alone stop the storm outside.

And after two days of freedom, the forced confinement was doubly awful to Elsa. _I just wanted to be free…I didn't expect anyone to accept me or anything; I knew that was impossible. But for just a little while, I was just plain me and I was happy. I even made something pretty for once. _Anna_ liked what I made, even. I should have known it was too good to last. Someone like me will never be happy…probably doesn't deserve to be…_ Elsa looked down at her ice-dress, the last thing she had that reminded her of the bit of happiness she had found on North Mountain. _That's who I am. I don't know if I'm a monster or a freak or defective or any of those other horrible things, but I know one thing I definitely am._

_ I am the Snow Queen. I don't know if she can ever be a good person or not-probably not, I suppose, since she's dangerous; but the Snow Queen is one thing I know I am. I cannot escape from myself. Myself is the Snow Queen. End of story._ "If I am the Snow Queen, I can break out of here," Elsa said softly. _I'm stronger than when I was down here last. I can get out of here._

* * *

Elsa stood up and looked worriedly at the ceiling, where rivulets of ice were beginning to spread. _The Snow Queen must leave before she annihilates everything. She needs to find her sister, _Elsa thought, referring to herself in third person, trying to detach herself from what was going on. _She needs to find her sister and then get as far away from Arendelle as possible. Break the shackles open, Snow Queen. She can do this. She froze a whole kingdom._

Elsa's determined focus on what she was doing faded as she heard voices in the corridor. _Wait a second… 'She's dangerous'? 'Move quickly'? They're down here to kill me! Get out of here, Elsa! Hurry up! _She could feel the thick metal starting to give way a little as she tugged and pulled on the chains and ice spread over them, but they wouldn't break open. And she still needed to blast through the wall somehow. Ice spread over the walls of the cell and over the door, sealing it shut. _That should buy me a bit more time…Elsa, BREAK THEM! You're the Snow Queen and you need to go find Anna! Get out! _Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and yanked with all her might, ignoring her burning wrists. _I've always been helpless to do anything about being locked anywhere, but no more. I am not that gullible little eight-year-old anymore. I will not just accept people treating me like this anymore. I am the Snow Queen. Elsa, you can do this. You froze the kingdom out of fear. Break the shackles open the same way. _Channeling all the negative emotions that overwhelmed her into her hands, Elsa finally managed to crack the shackles open.

The shackles fell to the floor and ice exploded toward the wall, making the wall give out under the intense pressure. Elsa gaped in surprise that yes, she had actually done it, at the opening she had made for a split second before coming to her senses and darting outside into the storm just in time.

Behind her, Hans growled in frustration. He had been so close to his goal, and she had foiled it. Again. Hans plunged out into the storm after Elsa, leaving the guards behind.

* * *

Out on the frozen fjord, Elsa squinted through the swirling blizzard as she shielded her eyes with one hand. She had no sense of direction, no idea where she was going. Only that she needed to find Anna and then run far, far away, never to return. Maybe the snow would melt eventually if she was far enough away. _Anna, please don't be…dead. I need to find you! Then I'll leave and you'll be safe from me._

Elsa turned again and stumbled off in a different direction. She knew she was out on the fjord, but she couldn't tell where at all. Everything was white, and she couldn't see more than a foot in front of her. She could have been going in circles for all she knew. _I should be able to find my way through my own storm! Then again, this is just an extreme showing of the storm inside of me and I can't find my way through that. It's just stuck there…I can't get rid of it…therefore I can't get rid of this blizzard either…FIND ANNA, ELSA! You need to find Anna and get her safely inside the castle! _Time slowed for Elsa; it seemed like an eternity to her right now. Wind whistled loudly, whipping her platinum braid in her face. Elsa blinked and flicked it back behind her as she tried a new direction in the white nothingness.

Elsa flinched backwards when she saw a gray shadow coming toward her. _That's not Anna. Someone's probably after me…_

"Elsa! You can't run from this!" Elsa heard Hans say.

Elsa backed away and resisted the urge to yell out a sarcastic _No kidding!_ at him. _I know that! Stop reminding me! My storm is here to stay, and I'm never going to amount to anything good…just a destructive cold Snow Queen… _She could honestly say she hated that man. He had locked her in the dungeon just like her parents had, except he did not even have the authority to do so. And WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE JUST LEFT HER FOR DEAD AT THE ICE PALACE?! _I wouldn't have cared. I would've just woken up injured and starved to death eventually. Good riddance to the world. _Remembering he had at the very least feigned liking Anna even if he didn't truly care, Elsa just replied, "Just…take care of my sister!" _Please. He has to take care of Anna. Even if he's after the throne somehow, he cannot take over without Anna around. He'll have to take care of my sister for selfish reasons at least. Anna will be safer with him than with me._

"Your sister? She returned from the mountains weak and cold. She said you froze her heart," Hans informed her.

Elsa dropped her gaze to the ice-covered fjord. "What? No…" she whispered, horrified. _So I did hit her. I hurt Anna! I HURT ANNA AGAIN! Elsa, what have you done?!_

_ Wait…maybe Hans is lying to me. It's possible, right? But why would he lie to me about that?_ Elsa's hopeful thoughts vanished as Hans continued,

"I tried to save her, but it was too late. Her skin was ice. Her hair turned white…"

_Please no…please let this all be some horrible dream and I'll wake up. Too late? That means Anna is…dead. I killed her! She was the only one who ever accepted me like I am and that's how I repay her? I'm just a monster…if I really cared about Anna, that wouldn't have happened._ Elsa's expression sank, realizing just what she had done. _That girl who nearly killed those men invading her palace…that is who I am. There isn't _anything_ good about me. I'd already doomed my own sister before that whole thing even happened…_

Hans dropped the final blow on Elsa's battered spirit. "Your sister is dead…Because of you."

Elsa's heart shattered to pieces at those awful words as she turned and staggered a few steps away before collapsing to her knees on the ice. _I'm a murderer. I killed the one person I've ever had contact with that was always there for me even though I couldn't be there for her._ The violent blizzard abruptly ended, leaving snowflakes suspended in midair picturing Elsa's complete and utter despair inside. She couldn't bring Anna back. The one thing that had kept her going for so long was gone.

Permanently gone because of her.

_Oh Anna…wherever you are now, can you see me? Can you hear me? Read my thoughts? I'm so, so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I ruined your childhood. I'm sorry I couldn't be a good sister to you. I'm sorry I have these horrible powers I can't control. I'm sorry I hurt you when we were little. I'm sorry I ignored you for all those years. I'm sorry I…killed you. You don't have to forgive me; I don't expect it. You should hate me. Why am I still alive and Anna isn't? I'm the monster, not her. Anna should have just let me finish what I started when I was eighteen. Then Arendelle wouldn't be frozen and Anna wouldn't be dead. But no, she had to go and save her defective freak of a sister instead. _Elsa's anguished mind vaguely registered the sound of a sword unsheathing behind her, but she didn't even flinch. _I don't deserve to live. I need Anna…wait, I promised Anna I wouldn't commit suicide…is letting someone kill me the same thing? I don't know…it doesn't matter. I'm nothing without Anna. I have absolutely nothing to live for without her. Anna, please forgive me…please…we'll be together again soon, I hope…I promise…maybe I won't be defective anymore…except someone like me wouldn't go to the same place Anna would…I don't know…_ Elsa thought she heard someone scream, but she didn't move. Why wasn't she dead yet? Who was teasing her by making her think they were going to kill her and then not do it?

Elsa suddenly noticed a blue icy hand right next to her. _Wait a second…_ She jumped to her feet, realizing just what had happened. "Anna!" _Anna, why did you sacrifice yourself for me?! Why would you do that? _And then an angry thought, _That means Hans was lying to me! Anna wasn't dead! But she is now…and it's definitely my fault. _Elsa touched her sister's frozen face with one hand. The one time she was able to touch Anna brought no joy to her. It just made Elsa hurt worse inside. "Oh, Anna, no…no…please no…" _Why, Anna, why?! Why would you save me? I'm the one that killed you. I didn't even want to be saved…I should be dead, not you. _She finally fell to her knees and cried, hugging Anna's frozen form tightly. _And if I'd defended myself, maybe you wouldn't have sacrificed yourself for me…this is all my fault, a hundred times over, just like everything else. Why can't I just disappear? Is it just what my future is supposed to be, to always be tormented inside for being different? I hate myself. I really, really hate Elsa. All she does is ruin things. And she killed her little sister! That's just completely unforgivable. _Elsa jumped in surprise when she thought she felt Anna move. "Wha-? Anna?" _It's probably just my imagination playing a trick on me…_

* * *

But no. Anna opened her eyes and smiled at her sister. _Elsa is safe. She's safe. That horrid creep didn't get her. _"Oh, Elsa," she said softly.

On instinct, both of them just hugged the other one close as tight as they could. _I'm…hugging Anna and I'm not hurting her?! Anna isn't dead…she's right here. SHE'S RIGHT HERE! Anna is alive! She's alive! _Elsa couldn't believe her eyes. "You…sacrificed yourself for _me_?" Elsa asked, still not quite able to accept what just happened. One second she had thought she'd killed Anna and was about to die herself, and now here they both were, safe and sound.

"I love you," Anna replied simply, holding Elsa's hands in hers. _Elsa isn't pulling away! She's letting me touch her!_ The real memories from their childhood flooded back in a rush. Building snowmen with Elsa in the ballroom. Elsa experimenting with cooling the temperature in their room. Elsa chasing 'monsters' out from under Anna's bed with an ice blast. Elsa freezing her squash at the dinner table. Having snowball fights in their room.

An observing Olaf was so excited he lifted his head right off his snowy body and exclaimed, "An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart!"

_Wait…an act of true love? _"Love…will thaw…" Elsa said, thinking hard to herself. _I can thaw things with love? I have to be happy _and_ love at the same time…that's it! That's how to fix the mess I made all over Arendelle! _"Love! Of course!" Elsa glanced down at her hands and began channeling the love she had for her sister and trying to keep the kingdom safe. _I'm doing it! I'm really doing it! I'm…fixing the mess I made. I'm really, truly fixing it! _Ice and snow swirled up from the fjord, from the castle, from all the buildings in the kingdom, forming a colossal icy snowflake high overhead. _I am the Snow Queen. And this time she can control what she's doing._

_Thank you, Anna. _And the huge snowflake dissolved into nothing. _Elsa, you just thawed something-the whole kingdom!-for the first time since you were eight! _Elsa suddenly realized another thing.

She could feel the temperature change. At least that's what she thought it was. Elsa turned and smiled at her sister.

"I knew you could do it," Anna announced, laying a hand on Elsa's shoulder.

_You have too much confidence in me, Anna. You nearly died because of me, _Elsa thought, although she was much, _much_ happier now. Elsa couldn't remember the last time she felt like this. Probably before the accident when they were little.

"Hands down, this is the best day of my life! And quite possibly the last," Olaf said good-naturedly as he started melting in the now warm summer temperature.

"Oh, Olaf…Hang on, little guy," Elsa said, and waved a small snow cloud over Olaf's head into existence.

"My own personal flurry!" Olaf said excitedly.

* * *

Suddenly the happy moment was interrupted by the sound of someone groaning. Elsa watched as the man she'd seen with Anna at the ice palace start marching toward Hans, and then Anna motioning him aside and walking over to Hans herself. Elsa just blinked, slightly confused, at the whole scene. _Where did Hans come from? I know he was out on the fjord, but did he get knocked out somehow or something? I don't know…_

"Anna? But she froze your heart," Hans said.

_My sister is not just a she! She's Queen Elsa of Arendelle! _"The only frozen heart around here is yours," Anna announced. She started to turn and go back over to her sister; then changed her mind and abruptly whipped around and punched Hans with her all strength, making him fly over the edge of the ship and splash into the fjord. _So there. How dare that horrid jerk try to hurt Elsa!_

* * *

Elsa held her arms out hesitantly to her sister. _Can I have a hug, Anna? Please? You don't have to if you don't want to, though…_

Anna immediately noticed her sister's timid offer and promptly hugged her close. _Good grief, Elsa, I'm not going to turn you down. Ever. It's been long enough._

Elsa was just so, so happy. She was hugging Anna without being sick or chained up in the dungeon. And she wasn't wearing gloves. And Anna knew about her powers. _Just like when we were little. _"Anna, I'm so happy," she whispered. The one and only thing that was bothering her now was a nasty headache that had been completely forgotten in all the events of the past few minutes. _I'd gladly have a headache all the time if it meant I could have Anna back and be able to be around her safely._

Anna pulled away from Elsa and gave her a concerned look. "Are you all right, Elsa? That stupid creep almost…almost…I don't wanna say it…"

"I'm okay. I just have a headache, that's all. Anna, d-do…do you…" Elsa paused, trying to figure out just what she wanted to say. "…do you…want to t-take my place? I don't think a-anyone will want m-me on the throne anymore," she finally finished. _I'm with Anna. I can handle anything. Anna can take my place. I don't think anyone is going to want me around at all…if I have to, I'll go back and live at my ice palace and Anna can visit me sometimes or something._

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Anna was angry that Elsa would even suggest such a thing. _Elsa is the rightful queen, not me. Tough luck if some people don't like her. That just means they're stupid and horrid._

Elsa flinched at Anna's shouting. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, really…I, that is, well…just if people don't want me here, I'll g-go back to the ice palace and you c-could come visit sometimes. If you w-wanted to, that is."

Anna took her sister's hands again, making Elsa jump. "No, Elsa, you belong _here_. You are the rightful queen. Yes, you did freeze everything, but you just fixed that. If anyone doesn't want you on the throne, they will have to deal with me. I'll punch 'em!"

Elsa smiled a bit at that; then frowned. "Anna, what if…no one wants me here at all? I d-don't think anyone wants a…a…a defective girl that's b-barely old enough to rule in the first place in charge of their c-country…"

"Elsa, you are _not_ defective! You are simply a girl that has a super awesome special ability to make ice and snow." Anna took Elsa's hand and held it next to her own. "Look, Elsa. Look at your hand and compare it with mine. What do you see?"

Elsa made a puzzled face. _What on earth is Anna getting at? _"I see one hand with light skin and a-another one that's abnormally pale. Why?"

Anna sighed. That was not what Elsa was supposed to say. "Elsa, they're exactly the same except for our skin tones-and yours, may I add, is not 'abnormally pale'! You just have really fair skin. My point is that you're a human girl too, same as me and anyone else. You just have cool abilities besides, that's all." She paused for a moment, then added, "Can I ask you something? If you don't wanna answer, that's ok, though."

"I suppose so," Elsa replied warily. _Please don't ask me what happened at the ice palace after you left, Anna. I'm not ready to talk about it yet…I don't know if I'll ever be ready._

"Why are you stuttering a little when you talk?" Anna asked. "You didn't do that before."

Elsa bit her lip and looked down at the ship deck they were standing on. _Good grief, I don't know. I'm glad you didn't ask me anything more complicated, though…_ "I don't know. I notice when I d-do it-like just now-but it just sort of…happens sometimes…" _Something else wrong with me. I think it's mostly when I'm not entirely certain what I want to say or if I'm upset or something, but it's probably just from not having any proper conversations in forever._

"Ok! Well, I don't care how you talk; I'm just glad we're together again," Anna replied quickly. "I want to introduce you to somebody. Come here, Elsa!"

* * *

Elsa let Anna pull her towards the man she'd seen Anna with in the ice palace, but firmly planted her feet in one spot when she felt like they were getting too close. "No closer, Anna…please," she said quietly so only Anna could hear.

Anna nodded and let her sister stay where she was. "This is Kristoff, Elsa. He helped me get up the North Mountain after I kinda lost my horse and stuff. And brought me back to Arendelle after you-after I visited you at the ice palace. Kristoff, that's my sister Elsa. And she's super nice. And…so, yeah! Say hello to each other or something, you two!"

_Anna found another guy already? Seriously?! At least this one seems genuine on first glance._ "Thank you f-for helping my sister, Kristoff," Elsa broke the silence finally.

"You're welcome, Queen Elsa," Kristoff said.

Elsa's eyes widened in surprise. "You still want m-me on the throne?" she asked. _I sure didn't expect him to say that. At all. And quit stuttering, Elsa! You don't _always_ do that._

Kristoff shrugged. "You're the rightful queen. Don't see why that would change. Besides, nobody is going to try to kick you out. They won't want to tick you off after seeing all the cool things you can do."

_You mean people aren't going to try to kick me out because they'll be scared of me…but if Kristoff doesn't mind me, then maybe everyone else won't either. _Elsa smiled a bit, but she didn't say anything.

"Ok, so, chitchat time over!" Anna exclaimed briskly a moment later. If she didn't take control, Elsa and Kristoff might just stand there wondering what to say the rest of the afternoon. "Elsa, you are going to freeze a path to shore for all of us to walk on. I've seen you do it already, so don't say you can't. Then we are going inside the castle and have private sister time so we can catch up on things till tomorrow morning. You can take care of any extra political fixing stuff tomorrow." Then Anna whispered in Elsa's ear, "Can Kristoff stay in a guest room in the castle? He did help me a lot."

Elsa nodded. _Thanks, Anna. I seriously hate talking to strangers. And I'm still kind of…rattled by everything that's happened today. And my head hurts._

"Elsa says you can stay in a guest room in the castle if you want," Anna told Kristoff.

"I'd rather stay in the stable with Sven, if that's ok," Kristoff replied.

"That's fine," Elsa spoke up. Then she whispered to Anna, "What if everyone's like 'What's _she_ d-doing here?' at me? I might lose control a-again…"

"They won't. And if they do, I will literally punch them. And you're not going to lose control. C'mon, Elsa. You can do this." Anna held out her hand, and after a moment, Elsa took it.

Squeezing her sister's hand tightly, Elsa closed her eyes and made an icy path back to shore. _I can do this. Anna's right here. I am the Snow Queen. I know the key to controlling it now._ Elsa smiled as she opened her eyes and stepped onto the ice with Anna.

**A/N: Yay, Elsa thawed everything!:)**

**Were Elsa's thoughts during the fight scene at the ice palace believable? Because if you watch her expressions closely during that scene, she's alternately scared, upset, and near the end, angry. Opinions, please?:)**

**There is NO way Elsa stayed unconscious all the way back to Arendelle and there's nothing seriously wrong with her, so...yeah, Hans is just doubly a creep. Made sense to me.:P**

**Yes, Anna has her childhood memories back...I always thought she had them back since her white streak disappeared.:)**

**I'll wrap this story up in the next couple chapters. Elsa still needs to spend some time with Anna and fix all the repercussions from all the stuff that just happened.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	32. Together Again!

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Hmm, I'm not sure yet; I have an idea for a 'link' story between this story and Adventures of Elsa and Anna, but I don't know...probably, but it'll be only a few chapters, not over thirty.;) Thanks! Elsa SHOULD show Anna the secret passages, but then there's going to be a continuity error between this story and AoE&amp;A...lemme think.:) (lol, rambling's fine XD) Yep, Elsa &amp; Anna get to spend time together in this chapter.:)**

**CieloFede-Oh yeah! There will PROBABLY be a kinda short 'link' story to fill in the missing month between the ending of this story and AoE&amp;A, and there'll DEFINITELY be a sequel to AoE&amp;A.:) Ok, cool, thanks!:) Elsa needed a bit more confidence in herself-of course she could get out of there, but she had to believe it first.:P Lol, I always thought Anna's memories just came back when she thawed since her white streak was gone.;) Yeah, Elsa probably should have a concussion, but um...she doesn't? She just has a hard head? I dunno. I wrote Elsa so she just has a really bad headache.:P I point you to 'A frozen headache' by jr74 if you'd like to have Elsa have a concussion from the whole getting knocked out thing.:) Lol, I hate Prince Creep too;)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Ok, thanks for telling me...lemme go check it out and see if I can make it seem less rushed somehow.:P Cool, thanks for reading AoE&amp;A! I guess I have kinda gotten into the characters' heads (especially Elsa) more in this story... I looked up the whole concussion thing. It seems that if this were real, yes, Elsa should have a concussion, but if she were knocked out for several hours, she would be really seriously hurt and possibly not wake up at all.:/ But whatever; I guess it doesn't matter.:P**

**dmcreif-Hmm, that's a cool idea...maybe I'll have Elsa talk to Olaf and find that out somehow.:) There will be a scene with Anna convincing Elsa to get Kristoff a sled. ARGH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I MESSED UP A LINE! *red face* Okay, I fixed Elsa's line in that chapter. Thanks for pointing the mistake out! I've never seen King Kong, so I don't get the comparison, lol.:P Lemme see if I can put a scene about Olaf coming to life in there somewhere...no promises, but I'll try!:) Thanks:)**

**BellaCullen931-Yeah, Elsa seriously had full reason to get angry for awhile.:/ I sincerely think if Hans hadn't come in right then, Elsa would have reached her breaking point and killed those guards finally. (and probably feel horrible afterwards and do who knows what...) **

**Fatten Saad-Thanks!:) No Frozen Fever chapter (because _Elsa's_ birthday is in the summer in my stories, not Anna's...before I knew when their birthdays were supposed to be, I thought Elsa's was in the summer because the coronation is in the summer, and Anna's was in the winter; and I just kept it that way:)). BUT...in the AoE&amp;A sequel, I'll do a Frozen Fever-y thing for Anna's birthday, although it won't be identical since it'll be wintertime.:) I wonder if Elsa is still immune to cold when she's sick...I dunno...**

**Optomistic-That's what I thought too. You can actually see Elsa hesitate for a moment when she holds out her arms to hug Anna. She's like '_Please? You don't have to, but...' _Thank you:)**

**WAEGirl-No, NOT dead crops.;) I agree about the flowers! Elsa does need to take care of her political business for Arendelle and clear up exactly what's what for the public, though.:) Thanks! I didn't think Elsa would be insta-confident; although she WOULD be insta-happy to be with Anna again.:)**

**olaf99-Thank you!:) Yes, I do. If someone is a good people-reader, they can size a person up in a few seconds and it will most likely be spot-on with few errors.:P (I know this from experience, lol...:P) Elsa could easily pick up that Hans is up to no good if she reads bad signals well. She caught him eying Anna during the coronation ceremony. (rude; who's that eying my sister?) Then she has him trying to hit on her during the party the same day (wait, I thought you were looking at Anna?), and she catches a surprised edge to his voice when she turns him down (oh, so he's pushy and full of himself too). A few hours later, he comes back with Anna at his side wanting Elsa to bless their marriage. (oh, he's fickle and two-faced and wants to marry someone the day he meets her). Elsa _thinks_ she catches Hans rolling his eyes while Anna is talking (so he doesn't think much of Anna, the girl he supposedly wants to marry). {he does roll his eyes in that scene-it's quick, but you can see it;)} And finally Elsa sees him outside her ice palace fighting Marshmallow. (he's attacking her? why is he here?) Elsa knows her ice chandelier is secure, so something HAS to be fishy about it falling. Lol, sorry this got so long. Anyway, my point is that yes, I think Elsa would easily pick up bad vibes enough to dislike Hans.:P**

**Pizzaeater2000-Thank you!:)**

**On to the story!:) {Since I've had more than one person talking about Elsa having a concussion, I'm saying this here: IN THIS STORY, ELSA JUST HAS A REALLY BAD HEADACHE AND NOTHING MORE.:) Please go read 'A frozen headache' by jr74 if you'd like the aftermath of the Great Thaw to involve Elsa recovering from a concussion.:)}**

To Elsa's great surprise, everyone on the shore began clapping when she and Anna stepped onto the dock, Kristoff, Sven, and Olaf following close behind. She saw only two displeased faces on the way back to the castle. That wasn't nearly enough to make her upset. Not when she'd honestly expected everyone to chase her out of town. Elsa smiled when she felt Anna give her hand a comforting squeeze. _Thanks, Anna. Yes, I know you're here for me. I still don't understand why, but thank you._

* * *

The second they were inside the castle, Anna said, "Where would you like to go, Elsa? I just want to go somewhere quiet so we can spend some time together without being bothered."

"I don't care." Elsa didn't care where they went as long as she got to be with Anna. _Why is Anna even asking me? She's too nice… And I hope the only damage in the castle is that big hole in the dungeon wall, which I am _not_ going to go see…_

"Could we go in your room? I've never really been inside."

Elsa hesitated for a moment before saying, "Okay." _All right, so maybe there's one place I don't want to go. That room holds so many bad memories in it._

Anna ran upstairs with Elsa at her side. "I can't wait to see your room!"

_I'm glad one of us is excited._ Elsa paused when they were in front of her door.

"What's wrong, Elsa?" Anna asked. _Wait, that's a stupid question. She doesn't want to go in there. Elsa's spent most of her life in there._ "Ok, I changed my mind. I want to take you in my room instead."

"That sounds good, actually." Elsa smiled a little and followed her sister down the hall.

* * *

Anna tossed the door open to her always-messy room. "Welcome to my, uh, super messy room, sis!" she announced.

Elsa smiled at that. Anna's room really was messy. It looked like a mini tornado had gone through, actually. _Anna called me 'sis'. Anna doesn't mind having me for a sister. She doesn't mind having the Snow Queen for a sister. _She allowed Anna to pull her into the room and then sit her down on the bed.

Anna wondered what she should talk about with Elsa. _I know Elsa is happy, but she also won't say barely anything. I don't want to bring up something that'll make her upset_. What Anna wanted to talk about was why a _ton_ of her childhood memories seemed to have been altered somehow to take away anything regarding Elsa's magic, but that was probably not the best thing to bring up, at least not right now. She knew it had something to do with Elsa accidentally hitting her, but since her five-year-old self went unconscious after that, she didn't know what happened.

"Is it okay to lay d-down? My head hurts," Elsa said, pressing one hand to the spot where that nearly invisible bruise was.

"Of course you can! You didn't even need to ask, Elsa." Anna pulled one side of the covers down, inviting Elsa to climb in if she wanted to.

Elsa slipped off her shoes and promptly took advantage of her sister's offer. "Thank you, Anna," she said softly. Then, a moment later, "Anna…I feel…warm! At least I think so. I felt the temperature change! I really did!" _It feels…nice. Like I'm not just temperatureless like I've been for years. I can feel temperatures!_

Anna frowned for a moment. _Elsa couldn't feel temperatures at all before? And she can now? _"That's nice, Elsa," she said finally, not wanting to mess up her sister's apparent excitement over that, but mad that Elsa had evidently _used_ to be able to feel temperatures and then couldn't for thirteen years.

"Why are you being so n-nice to me?" Elsa asked suddenly. _I mean, I shut Anna out for years on end and I literally made her freeze to death…and now she's just treating me like I'm a normal sister and nothing ever happened._

"I'm being nice to you because you're my sister and you deserve it! Elsa, you've been mistreated for thirteen years. That stops _now._ Have you thought that maybe since love is the key to controlling your powers, you'd have figured it out way sooner if Mom and Dad actually treated you properly? You were never loved and cared for properly, and you never figuring out something that simple proves it. Anyhow, that is _over_! And I'm going to help you be that happy, carefree girl you were when you were little. She's still inside you. You just need to pull her out. And-" Anna stopped talking when she realized what Elsa was doing. _Those weren't good things to tell Elsa. I made her cry!_

Elsa just lay curled up on her side under the covers with her face buried in her hands, trying not to cry but failing miserably. _Oh, Anna…that might be true, but I think they meant well. I know they loved you…it's just they never liked or accepted me because of my powers and after I hurt you everything just…fell apart. I didn't deserve any better after that. I was just a pest and a bother…the defective one. _She flinched when she felt Anna pulling her hands away from her face. "Anna…you can't t-touch me when I get like this…it's not s-safe…" Elsa's teary eyes noticed the snowflakes falling around her and she immediately jerked her hands away from her sister. _I don't want to hurt you, Anna._

"Elsa, those are snowflakes. How are you going to hurt me with snowflakes?" Anna asked logically.

"Well…I won't…" Elsa replied, realizing Anna had a very good point. She scrunched her eyes shut and tried to make the snowflakes go away. _Did it work?_

Anna cheered. "Good job, Elsa! You got rid of 'em! Hey, do you want to get something to eat? I'm hungry!"

Elsa's tummy growled, making both of them giggle. "Evidently yes. I…haven't had anything since that party, actually," Elsa admitted. _I'm starving. I'd kind of…forgotten about it._

"You haven't had anything to eat in _three days_ then?! Good grief…um, since you said your head hurt, d'you want me to ask Gerda to bring something up here for us? That way you can just stay put if you like," Anna offered.

"Okay." Elsa's head felt a little bit better now, but she still didn't particularly feel like getting up, and besides, she really didn't want to leave Anna's room. _Being in here makes me happy._

* * *

Soon Elsa and Anna were happily eating dinner together. "You don't like broccoli either?" Elsa asked as she watched her sister push all of the nasty vegetable off to one side on her plate.

"Nope! I guess that means you don't like 'em too!" Anna said.

Elsa popped a piece of chicken in her mouth; then nearly spit it out but managed to gulp her milk instead. _That hurt! What was that all about? Wait a second…it was hot. My chicken was hot, and I could tell it was hot!_ She smiled and held one hand over her plate before moving it away. Then she did the same thing again. And again.

"Elsa, what on earth are you doing?" Anna asked, puzzled.

"It's hot," Elsa answered simply. She put her hand on the icy fabric of her dress; then held her hand over the hot plate again. _I'm still immune to cold, but it's like a…a pleasantly cool sensation now. And I can feel heat! I guess that also means I can get burned, but oh well. It's nice to be able to detect different temperatures._

Anna grinned as she watched her sister's happy fascination with this new-to her-phenomenon. _I'm glad Elsa is happy, even if it's over something silly. The only thing is…that's not silly to her. Elsa's powers evidently aren't meant to keep her from feeling temperatures, and that was taken away from her too. She probably felt like she was in a bubble or something._ "D'you want to sleep in here tonight?" Anna asked suddenly.

Elsa stopped experimenting with feeling the different temperatures and looked up at Anna. _I'd love to stay in here with Anna, but I always have nightmares and I lose control. I can't risk that. I can't remember the key to controlling it while I'm sleeping… _"I do, but…"

"But what?"

"I have nightmares all the t-time, and I…and I always lose control…" Elsa's voice trailed off, but at least she had told Anna the truth.

"You have nightmares _all the time_?!" _Oh, Elsa. That means she was busy dealing with that alone for years on end. _"Well, that just makes all the more reason for you to stay in here. I am not leaving you to deal with that alone," Anna said firmly. "That's settled. Either I sleep in your room or you sleep in mine. You can pick."

Elsa thought for a long moment. "You can sleep in mine," she decided. "If I _do_ lose c-control, at least your things won't be ruined."

"What about your stuff?"

"Oh, you'll see. My stuff is all put away to keep it safe." Elsa gave Anna a rueful smile. _I didn't stutter that time. That means I can do it again._

"Oh." Anna wasn't sure what to say to that.

The two of them finished their dinner in a happy silence.

* * *

LATER THAT EVENING…

"Elsa, can I try on your ice-dress?" Anna asked as she watched Elsa hang the dress in question up in her closet.

"It's _ice_, Anna. You'll freeze," Elsa replied, frowning. She went over to her dresser and began digging through one of the drawers. _I don't want to wear gloves again, but I should while I'm sleeping. Maybe it'll help if I still lose control because of a bad dream._ Elsa finally found what she was looking for and dropped them on her nightstand.

Anna dropped the 'can I pretty please try on the epic awesome dress?' topic and made a face. "Elsa, what did you pull gloves out for? You don't need those."

"Yes I do. I won't know whether I'm in c-control or not while I'm sleeping," Elsa explained. _Anna, please quit bothering me about it. They're my hands and I don't trust myself to stay in control when I'm not even conscious of what I'm doing._

"I should find all your gloves and throw them out," Anna informed her. "Then you can't have any."

"Don't you dare! I need them…just in case…let me be, okay?" Elsa asked hopefully. _I hate them too, but I'm not doing something rash and throwing them all out without considering what might happen afterwards._

Anna debated whether or not to press the issue. _Elsa's been wearing gloves all the time for years. I can't expect her to dump the habit just like that, but she really should get rid of them. I know Elsa doesn't need them. And it's not good for her. She shouldn't have to hide part of who she is. _"Maybe you should at least _try_ sleeping without them first," she replied finally. "I know you won't hurt me, even if you do lose control again. Because you know how to fix it now."

Elsa paused with what she was doing, one glove on and one glove off. _Anna does have a point. I do know how to fix it now. Maybe I could try sleeping without them and then if I do mess up, _then_ put them back on._ "Okay, I'll try," Elsa decided, putting the gloves back on the nightstand. _But the first inkling of losing control, on they go. I think that's fair._

Anna hugged Elsa close. "I'm glad you're at least trying," Anna told her. She quickly let go of her sister when she realized Elsa was stiff as a board again. "What's the matter, Elsa? You're all tense again…"

"I'm just not…not used to physical contact of any k-kind. At all," Elsa said quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor. "It wasn't because I wanted you t-to stop…it's just messed-up me…And I hate stuttering like that!" she finished. _How am I supposed to give any speech of any kind if I can't even talk to Anna properly? Everyone will think I'm an idiot. I already made a horrible first impression by the last few days. Stuttering is _not_ going to help fix things! _"Anna…don't you find m-me annoying? I can't even t-talk to you properly…"

"Elsa, you are _not_ 'messed up'. Anyone would be startled by physical contact if they haven't had any since they were little. And I love you just the way you are. You aren't annoying one bit. I'm just glad I have you back, stutter and all." Anna held out her arms, inviting Elsa to give her a hug. _That way Elsa won't get all startled again._

Elsa smiled a bit and hugged Anna herself. _Thank you, Anna._

"By the way, you _can_ talk without stuttering. I've been listening to you all evening and you don't always do it. You probably just need to practice. Which I'll gladly help you with if you like," Anna offered.

"I'm afraid I'll…mess up whenever I have…to give a speech," Elsa admitted. _It's bad enough Anna has to listen to me doing that. I can't have everyone in Arendelle hear me do that. I'd probably lose control out of pure embarrassment or something._

"You can practice it with me first. And you don't have to worry about that tonight anyhow. Go to sleep, Elsa. We'll figure out the rest of the stuff we need to take care of-like what we're gonna do with Prince Creep-tomorrow."

"My dark side wants to have him executed," Elsa spat out with a frown. _Well, maybe not, but I still want him out of Arendelle as soon as possible. _"He told me you were _dead_ when you weren't! If he'd just tried to kill me, then that would be okay. But he lied! I hate liars! He just told me that because he knew it would break me inside so I wouldn't defend myself. And I'm ninety-nine percent sure he tricked you into wanting to marry him and then dumped you, because otherwise you wouldn't have been out on the fjord looking for Kristoff-don't ask me how I know that, I just do. Big sister sense, I suppose. I _hate_ him! I really, really do! That no good, lowlife, creep, jerk, scoundrel, reprobate, snake, beast, ratfink, charlatan, horrid, detestable, loathsome, odious, repulsive, equivocator _scumbag_…Anna, what is so funny?!" Elsa crossed her arms and gave her sister an annoyed look.

Anna made an unsuccessful attempt to stifle her laughter. "Elsa, I never realized there were about twenty different ways to say 'stupid creep'! And just so you know, you didn't stutter once during that whole rant. I didn't know you could get so mad…Elsa, did you know you're really funny when you get angry?" Anna flopped down on one side of Elsa's bed and continued giggling. "You wanna know what _I_ think we should do with Prince Creep?"

Elsa plopped herself down on the bed next to her sister. "What? _Don't_ say execute him…I really…don't want to do that."

"You should freeze his butt," Anna announced matter-of-factly.

_Wait…what?! _Elsa burst into giggles and then tried covering them with her hand. "Anna, I cannot just…freeze someone's butt! That's just-ANNA, I JUST SAID THE WORD 'BUTT'! I'm supposed t-to be the queen…I shouldn't say things l-like that!" _It feels nice to laugh about something silly with my little sister, though. I am so happy right now._

Anna abruptly stopped laughing, realizing just what Elsa had told her a minute before. _'He just told me that because he knew it would break me inside so I wouldn't defend myself'…and Elsa just said that all nonchalant-like, like that's what was supposed to happen…good grief, poor Elsa…_ Anna shuddered, remembering seeing Elsa crumpled on the ice in her glittering blue dress. _If I'd been a second later, that creep would have killed or at least seriously injured her. And Elsa was just sitting there, not even doing anything…he told Elsa that on purpose! He knew Elsa could easily defend herself, so he needed to make her feel awful beforehand so she wouldn't do anything. Wait a second…does that mean Elsa actually heard the sword and she was just going to let him kill her, or did she just not hear it because she was so upset?_

"Anna, what's wrong?" Elsa asked, noticing that her sister wasn't laughing anymore. _I probably said something wrong, like I always do._

"I was just remembering seeing you crumpled on the ice like that earlier…if I'd been just a second later, he would've…would've…and just, never mind," Anna finished quickly as Elsa's happy expression disappeared. "Let's just go to sleep."

Elsa turned out the lamp and slid under the covers. "Good night, Anna…if it gets too cold in here b-because of me, just leave. I won't mind," she said, thinking she was probably one big ice cube compared to Anna's normal body temperature.

"Elsa…do you think you're really that cold to be around? Because you're really not. You feel way cooler than me, yeah, but you aren't freezing cold or anything. It's kinda like…like standing right next to the icebox in the kitchen, but a little warmer," Anna explained. _That wasn't the best analogy…Elsa doesn't want to be compared to the icebox._

To Anna's surprise, Elsa just started giggling. "A warm icebox? Isn't that kind of a-an oxymoron?" _So I'm cooler than a normal person, but I'm not freezing. That's nice to know. At least I'm not going to freeze anyone by simply being around them._

Anna laughed too once she realized Elsa just thought what she had said was funny. "Well, yeah, but it's true!"

Elsa's giggles quieted as she started falling asleep. _This day started out rotten, and it almost ended with both of us dead, but I'm so happy I have Anna back now. And she doesn't mind me and all my…problems. _She was sure it would take awhile to fix everything completely…building damage, political issues, what to do with a certain creep, what to do with the Weselton guards, her stuttering, maintaining control of her powers consistently; and most of all, rebuilding her long-lost relationship with her sister, but all that was okay. _If I can make it through a crazy day like today, I can take on anything. I know Anna will help me. I don't know _why_ she still cares what happens to me, but I do know I can trust her._

* * *

_"You can't run from this, Elsa!" Hans shouted._

_ Elsa squinted back at him through the blinding snow. "No kidding! I know you're a detestable creep, but Anna will be safer with you than with me. Just take care of my sister!"_

_ "Your sister? She returned from the mountains weak and cold. She said you froze her heart! I think we both know who the 'detestable creep' is, and it's certainly not me."_

_ "How do I know you're not lying to me?! You've lied about everything else!" Elsa replied. "You hate me because I'm 'in the way' of your stupid plans. You think you can break me, but you _can't_! I'm through with that! I will not be helpless any longer!"_

_ Hans slowly drew his sword, letting Elsa see exactly what he was doing. "Oh yes you are in the way. Boy are you in the way. I don't _think_ I can break you; I _know_ I can break you. You think you're a tough, nothing can bother me person now, but you're not. Look at this storm. Everything must bother you, or you wouldn't have made it. And there's a little nearly-frozen sibling out here who's just dying to save her sister…"_

_ Elsa balled her hands into fists and yelled out, "YOU'RE LYING AGAIN! LEAVE ME ALONE! Don't you know I can turn you into an ugly ice statue?! I will not just stand here and let you kill me! Just get away from me! I hate you!"_

_ Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. There was a nearly-frozen Anna tackling Hans and knocking the sword out of his hand. There was a furious Elsa impulsively shooting a blast of ice at Hans, but missing and hitting Anna instead, who instantly turned to solid ice._

_ Elsa just stared in horror. What had she done? She'd been aiming for that creep, but no, she'd hit her baby sister instead. "Look what you made me do!" she screeched at Hans. "I want Anna back! I hate you, but I still care about Anna! I just…want Anna back…" Elsa's heartbroken voice trailed off as she watched what Hans was doing. _You're going to kill me, _she thought, but there was no anger in it this time. _I don't care now. I'm nothing without Anna…

_ Hans raised his sword, about to stab his now-willing quarry, but then he changed his mind. "You know, dying is too good for you. You killed your sister. You can just live and think about what you've done."_

_ Elsa's blue eyes narrowed, realizing just what that man was trying to do to her. He just wanted her to feel awful the rest of her life with no escape. "That will NOT work." Without a second thought, she knocked Hans backwards with an ice blast, making him drop the sword. Elsa grabbed the sword and took one last sad look at frozen-Anna before preparing to just do it herself-_

"Elsa! _ELSA!_ Are you all right?!" Anna shouted as she lit the lamp and tried to shake her sister awake. _Elsa must be having a really bad dream,_ Anna thought, realizing Elsa was clutching the covers in her fists, her fingertips leaking ice all over.

Elsa finally jerked awake and noticed Anna shaking her. _Dream. Dream. It was just a horrible dream, Elsa. Anna isn't dead, and neither am I. _"I l-lost c-control," she whispered, scooting away from her sister and nearly falling on the floor. "I told you I c-couldn't do this!" Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, wishing all that accidental ice would go away._ You messed up again, Elsa. You should have known you weren't going to stay in control while you're sleeping._

Anna reached for Elsa's shoulder, but Elsa just flinched away. "Elsa, can I get you something? I'm right here for you. You don't have to deal with it alone."

Elsa absentmindedly traced the faint pink line on her wrist with one finger. _I didn't do it. I'm not going to. That was three years ago. And just now was only a rotten dream._

Anna frowned as she watched her sister. _That's the same one Elsa hurt herself three years ago. What is she thinking about? _"Elsa, let me see your hand. What are you doing?"

_I think Anna knows exactly what I'm doing…_ Elsa quickly grabbed the gloves off the nightstand and pulled them on before holding a shaking hand out to Anna.

"Bad Elsa!" Anna scolded. "You take those off. Besides, I want to see something. Is it all right to take this one off?" she asked, figuring since taking Elsa's gloves was what started everything in the first place, maybe she had better ask this time.

Elsa shook her head and pulled her hand back, but she did scoot closer to Anna. _I don't think it's safe yet and I don't want to explain that itty bitty scar, either, which I bet is what Anna wanted to see._

* * *

Anna decided to bother Elsa about taking those gloves off later instead of bugging her anymore right now. _After all, she's not pulling away again. Those stupid gloves are probably just a safety net to her._ Anna put her arm around her sister and let Elsa just sit quietly for a minute, noticing that although Elsa seemed a bit calmer now-she wasn't shaking so much-and that she had let herself lean her head against Anna's shoulder, Elsa was also keeping her hands clasped together close against her chest. _Elsa's still scared. I know she is. I think she does that hand-clasping thing whenever she's upset or nervous._ "Elsa, we should talk about whatever's bothering you," she said finally.

"I don't want to." _I can't tell Anna what happened. It scared _me_; it'll certainly scare Anna too. It was like…like the nightmarish version of what could have happened._ Elsa just stayed where she was curled up with her sister's arm around her shoulders and didn't say anything more.

Anna sighed. _Of course that's all Elsa said. She doesn't like talking about things…_ "Did you try to commit…suicide again?" Anna hugged her sister tighter when she felt Elsa flinch again. _Thought so. _"Elsa, it's okay. I got you. It was just an icky dream."

"I froze you because I was trying to hit Hans and he was going to kill me but then h-he said dying was t-too good for m-me and I had t-to live with what I d-did so I was g-going to just get r-rid of myself," Elsa blurted. _Why did you tell Anna that, Elsa?! And quit crying over a stupid dream!_ Elsa roughly wiped the tears away and balled her hands into fists.

_Nightmare version of earlier, that's what happened. _"Elsa, did you hear the sword behind you earlier?" Anna asked quietly.

Elsa slowly nodded but didn't say anything. _Now Anna is going to think I'm just a crybaby or something…she's the one that literally sacrificed herself for me…and Anna freezing was my fault in the first place…_

"Why, Elsa? Why would you just sit there and let someone do that to you? It's not like you were helpless and didn't have any way to defend yourself…you could've turned him into a popsicle if you wanted to."

"'Your sister is dead…Because of you.' Th-that's why," Elsa said, covering her face with her hands again, not wanting Anna to see her crying. _I thought you were dead. I'm nothing without you, Anna. I wouldn't have been able to thaw Arendelle if it wasn't for you. _"C-conceal, don't feel…conceal, d-don't…feel," she mumbled to herself.

Anna pulled herself away from Elsa and pulled her sister's hands away from her face. "Elsa, it's all right to cry. Look. You aren't doing anything but making snowflakes. That's totally fine. That 'conceal, don't feel' thing is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. You can't not feel. It's impossible."

Elsa stared at her sister with a questioning expression, but she didn't try to get her hands away from Anna again. _Anna's right…I can't not feel. I've never been able to do that. I've always been hurt or frightened or angry or some mixture thereof…I just wouldn't accept it and tried to cover it up. And Anna is also right…those snowflakes aren't going to hurt anything._

"And Prince Creep was taking advantage of you. He figured out what hurt you the most and pounced on it. That isn't your fault. Nor should you let someone like that…kill you. You're _my_ sweet big sister, no matter what anyone else might say. You've tried so hard for years to just forget about your own needs and take care of everyone else's. From now on, YOU come first." Anna paused, wondering if Elsa would get upset if she asked her next question, but soon her curiosity and need to know overpowered anything else. "Elsa, is it all right if I take your glove off now?" she asked.

Knowing exactly what her sister wanted to see, Elsa slipped her glove off and held her hand back out to Anna. _I guess she deserves to know. I kinda lied to Anna that I didn't have one when we had that fight in the cellar during the tornado that one time because I didn't want her to worry about it._ "You can hardly s-see it, so I do _not_ want t-to hear you fussing about it," she informed her sister.

_So she does have a mark on her wrist from that…poor Elsa…I wish she'd let me help her sooner before she did anything to herself. But Elsa is here now, and that's all that matters. _Anna gently traced the faint pink scar on Elsa's wrist for a moment before saying, "Tough times don't last. Tough people do. That's you, Elsa. You didn't let everything beat you all this time. You're still here. Those icky times are over. And you aren't. So…tough-girl Elsa is awesome!"

"That's corny, Anna. And I wouldn't be h-here if it wasn't for you. I'm no 'tough-girl E-Elsa'…I'm kind of broken if y-you think about i-it…" Elsa's voice trailed off, but she was still smiling a bit from Anna's announcement. _You're awesome, Anna. I don't know why you bother with me._

"My sister Elsa is not broken! She's perfect just the way she is! Really, Elsa, I wouldn't change you for anything. I like you just the way you are," Anna said, giving Elsa's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Elsa sighed. "No, Anna…that's not what I m-mean. Compare present-day me w-with the eight-year-old me you r-remember. Eight-year-old me did n-not have awful nightmares all the t-time. She did not attempt to g-get rid of herself. She did not stutter. She did not l-lose control and revert to wearing gloves again. She wasn't scared of t-talking to strangers…although she still didn't a-actually _like_ doing so…" She gave Anna a lopsided smile at her last comment. _I'm a wreck compared to little me. I don't think that's going to get fixed overnight, but at least I'm a little bit better._

"Eight-year-old Elsa had not been locked in her room and mistreated for over a decade. You are _not_ broken. We're gonna take care of all those things you mentioned together. I have one idea already: if you are so adamant about wearing gloves when you go to sleep, why don't you wear them for now and try again without them in a week or so? And I know you aren't going to try to 'get rid of yourself' again. You have to be really, really, _really_ upset to do that and I'm gonna make sure you never do get that upset in the first place. And about the stuttering; I think the more you talk and have conversations and stuff, it'll go away by itself. But I'll help you practice if you like," Anna offered.

Elsa flopped back against the pillows and inexplicably started giggling. "You have lots of plans, Anna! Thank you." _They're good ideas, too. I can try sleeping without the stupid gloves again in a week. Maybe I won't mess up then. And yeah, I think simply talking a lot with Anna will help. Since I don't mind if she hears me talk funny, maybe I can try out any speech I have to make on her first and just say it over and over till I can do it right. I know I'm going to need to make an apology-slash-explanation speech for the whole freezing the kingdom fiasco._ "Good night, Anna…I love you." Elsa turned over and pulled the covers up to her chin, smiling happily.

"See, you didn't stutter at all with what you just said, Elsa!" Anna pointed out. "Good night…hey, do you want the lamp off or on?"

"Don't care…" Elsa said sleepily. _The Snow Queen has her super awesome sister back. I'm happy. I don't need anything else._

**A/N: Elsa having a nightmare and then Anna comforting her was bananas-rule-2015's idea.:)**

**I know Elsa didn't tell Anna exactly what happened after the FTFTIF Reprise scene, but I didn't think Elsa would want to talk about the whole attack on the ice palace thing...so, yeah...**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**

**P.S. I posted a little one-shot earlier today about nine-year-old Elsa at Christmastime...it coincides with something Elsa mentioned back in chapter 26 of this story.:)**


	33. A Few Explanations

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Pizzaeater2000-Lol, I thought it was funny too...XD Honestly I think he deserves far worse than that, lol:P**

**dmcreif-Yes, that did cross my mind.:P And regarding chapter 5...Cool, another person agrees with me that Elsa had a right to be angry! Yeah, well, that's not cynical. I wrote it that way on purpose so the readers could decide what happened. I wasn't sure what the appropriate punishment for trying to kidnap the Crown Princess of Arendelle should be, so I left it ambiguous. A private execution for the would-be kidnappers sounds logical enough to me.:P Yay, someone noticed the parallels between that scene and the attack on the ice palace!:) (In chapter 8, Elsa thinks to herself for a moment that she wishes she had defended herself with her powers before dumping the idea. Well, guess what she's doing in the ice palace five years later...:P)**

**bananas-rule-2015-You're welcome! It was a good idea.:) It _is_ really sweet; Elsa deserves lots of hugs and comfort from Anna after trying to deal with things like that alone for so long.:/ I'm glad Elsa's stuttering seems logical...I mean, I don't want to dump a ton of problems on her, but it seemed like something that probably would happen if Elsa were a real girl in our world.:P No, this isn't the last chapter! There will be one, mayyyybe two after this. (I'm thinking one though.:))**

**Fatten Saad-Thank you!:)**

**olaf99-I like to fancy myself a Frozen expert, But I don't think I am really. At least no more than everyone else on here writing Frozen stories.;) There's a little more story after this chapter still.:) P.S. I love replying to my reviews:)**

**minerbuilder12-Yikes, that'd be some story! *shudders* Poor Elsa! She'd either be a more villainous form of herself or she'd have some awful PTSD problems after Anna found her, or she'd actually succeed in committing suicide eventually...I'll think about it. Maybe I could change the timeline so it wouldn't be ten whole years before the shipwreck and Anna found her and stuff, because that's horrible.:/ I thought I wasn't being very nice to Elsa in _this_ story, but she wasn't living in the horrid old dungeon all that time, either.:P I'm glad you like 'Secret Passages' though!:)**

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa awoke early the next morning, pleased to notice that her nasty headache from the day before was much better. _Okay, Elsa, keep it together today. You need to start making decisions, fixing stuff, and explaining things. _She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths before taking her gloves off and leaving them on the nightstand. _No ice, Snow Queen. At least not unless you're trying to on purpose. _Elsa slid out of bed and left a still-sleeping Anna under the covers. _Thank you for all your help, Anna. I don't know what I would do without you._

Elsa tiptoed over to her closet and debated whether or not to put her ice-dress back on, which was what she really wanted to do. _That's probably not a good idea…it's like saying 'Hey, I froze the whole kingdom but look at the epic awesome dress I can make!' Yeah, I don't think so. I'd better wear a regular dress. _Elsa slipped on a dark blue dress out of her closet, sans any itchy scratchy corset; and realized that even if she _wanted_ to put on the itchy thing, she couldn't, because it had literally been disintegrated when she made her ice-dress. "That's one thing I don't mind destroying because of my powers," Elsa said to herself, half-giggling at the thought that the thing quite honestly did not exist anymore. _Wait a second…I didn't stutter when I said that! I'm going to start practicing talking properly with Anna as much as possible, as long as Anna doesn't mind._

Elsa quickly brushed her hair and put it back in a single braid. That she was going to keep whether she was wearing her ice-dress or not. _My braid doesn't label me as 'the girl with the ice powers that froze the whole country', so it can stay. Maybe it would be all right to leave a snowflake on the end. I can have one little thing that's part of what makes me _me_, even if 'just plain me' is…defective. I can't change myself, and if just plain Elsa is defective, then so be it. I don't want to completely hide myself away again. Everyone knows what's wrong with me now anyway; it'd be pointless. _"I am the Snow Queen. I might also be d-defective and abnormal and whatever else, b-but that's okay. I suppose," Elsa said, talking to her reflection in the mirror. She frowned at her bare hands, wondering if she could really, truly make it through the day without freezing something. _Just go test yourself with liquid water from the bathroom faucet, Elsa. Simple enough. If you freeze the water, you aren't ready. If you don't, then you're probably safe._

Setting a bucketful of water on the floor in the bathroom, Elsa bit her lip before hesitantly touching a finger to the water. It stayed liquid. Elsa smiled and put her whole hand in the water. _No…ice. NO…ICE…NO ICE! _"I did it!" she shouted happily. "I can touch liquid water!" As an experiment, Elsa purposely froze the bucket of water to solid ice; then attempted to thaw it. _It works! It really works!_ She ran over to the still fast asleep Anna and started shaking her in excitement. "Anna, Anna! Come see what I did! Please?"

"Go 'way, Elsa…me sleepin'," Anna mumbled.

Elsa's happy smile faded. "Okay," she said softly. _I forgot Anna hates getting up in the morning. I'll show her when she gets up, I guess. _She quickly wrote Anna a short note and put it right in her sister's hand. _That way Anna will know where I went. I need to know just where Hans and the Duke of Weselton and his guards are. I should have done that yesterday _immediately_ after Anna helped me thaw everything. I'm lucky those loons didn't try to come kill me in my sleep during the night or something._ Elsa shook her head, trying to get rid of that morbid train of thought. Then she smiled. She knew exactly what to do with the duke and his guards. _Something I've wanted to do for literally years but that I didn't have the authority for before and didn't have concrete reasons to do so._ Elsa paused next to the nightstand; then changed her mind.

Elsa left the gloves behind. She could always come back later if she felt like she needed them. For now, Elsa was confident enough to just be herself.

* * *

Elsa stopped in her tracks when she heard loud fussing from farther down the hall. _That sounds like the Duke of Weselton…I'm going to go investigate._ She closed her eyes and took a few slow breaths, willing herself to stay calm. _If he yells bad names at me again, I am not going to freak out. I will not react. That's what he expects and probably wants me to do. I'm not going to be that emotional young girl that can't hold herself together after an insult. _"Elicit calm, Elsa," she muttered to herself.

"What is all the c-commotion about, sirs?" Elsa asked the two Arendelle guards outside one of the guest rooms. _Quit stuttering, Elsa. Just think carefully before you say anything._

"When your majesty and the princess returned to the castle yesterday, we took the liberty of confining the Duke of Weselton's two guards in the dungeon due to the events on the North Mountain. The duke has been confined to his quarters, and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles has also been confined to his quarters as well. We did not think we had the authority to lock him in the dungeon as he did to you without your permission, Queen Elsa, although it would be our pleasure to move him to the dungeon if you so desire."

_Okay, at least someone had the sense to actually _do_ something yesterday. Thank goodness._ "I see. Move Prince Hans t-to the dungeon. I should like to speak w-with the duke, please," Elsa replied after a moment. _Argh, Elsa, stop it! Talk _slowly_ and _carefully_…maybe that will help._

The guard gave her a funny look for a moment, but he simply replied, "Certainly, Queen Elsa," and opened the door to that guest room.

Elsa instinctively jumped back when the duke came storming out of the guest room, ranting about something having to do with incompetent little girls running kingdoms and monsters freezing things and the unfairness of being confined to his quarters. _Elsa, you knew he was going to be like this. Don't give him the satisfaction of letting him get to you._ "Be quiet," she ordered, trying to take control of the situation.

The duke was so surprised he did as Elsa said. For a moment. Before Elsa could say anything else, the duke said, "Your guards confined me to my quarters! They locked _my_ guards in the castle dungeon! Where you should be," the last four words were muttered nearly inaudibly, although Elsa could hear them.

Elsa flinched, but she didn't otherwise react. She felt frost forming on her palms and gripped the skirt of her dress in her fists. _I will not lose control. Anna doesn't mind who I am. It doesn't matter what the stupid duke thinks._ Elsa took a deep breath before replying. "My guards t-took action when I was in no c-condition to do so. They did exactly what I am confirming m-myself right now." Pause. _Stay calm, Elsa. You can do this. _"You are confined to your quarters until such time that you leave Arendelle," she finished in one breath. _Okay. I didn't stutter that time. I'm still in control._

"You can't do that! Why are my guards in the castle dungeon and an ice witch is roaming free?! That's ridiculous! You're a mons-"

"ENOUGH!" Something inside Elsa snapped. She was trying to be as nice as she could, but even if she still thought a lot of bad things about herself, there were a few things she knew she was most definitely not. Elsa stood tall and stared the duke right in the face, her blue eyes flashing. "Sir, I am many things. I am a freak. I am abnormal. I c-control ice and snow. I am d-defective. I am an aberration, a mutant, whatever else you would l-like to call it. But I am _not_ a witch. I was born this way. And I am _not_ a monster. I hurt m-my sister by accident. I froze Arendelle by accident. I will not stand here a-and let you insult me with your l-lies," she finished. _Did I actually say all that?! Good grief, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. And I stuttered several times…_

Elsa didn't see Anna watching from down the hall. Anna stood grinning madly a ways down the hall. She had heard every word her sister said. _Elsa just defended herself! She didn't exactly paint herself in a favorable light, but she did speak up. _Anna came running down the hall and stood right next to Elsa. "Hi, Elsa! Why aren't you wearing your ice-dress?"

"Good morning, Anna," Elsa said, smiling. Even if Elsa supposed that saying all that wasn't the best thing she could have done, it felt _good_ to speak up in her own defense for once, unlike the silent reactions she had made most of time to anything that had happened to her when she was younger. _And Anna, I didn't think it was a good idea to wear my ice-dress today because it probably wouldn't make a good impression politics-wise…_

Anna grabbed Elsa's cold hand, making both of them jump. "Lemme go!" Elsa hissed quietly when she noticed the frost on her skirt where her hand had been. _Don't notice; please don't notice…_

"She's doing it again!" the duke exclaimed.

Anna jutted out her lower lip and marched right up to the duke, not caring a bit if she was rude. "You WILL respect my sister! She is the queen of Arendelle! One more stupid word out of you and I will tell Elsa to freeze your butt!"

Elsa's face turned bright red with embarrassment. _Anna, why did you have to say _that_?! _She bit her lip and reached for Anna's shoulder to pull her away from the duke. "I do apologize f-for my sister's outburst. I will n-not be freezing anyone's…derriere," Elsa finally said, figuring that was about the least embarrassing way to refer to someone's backside. _I need to hurry up and get this conversation over with. I feel like I'm about to lose control. Can't do that unless I'm alone in my room or something._

"Well, you should," Anna muttered to Elsa. _Why is she being nice to that stupid creep?! He called her rotten names. Elsa oughta punch him. Or freeze him. Or both. Yeah, both would be PERFECT._

"Anna, _please._ Could you go check m-my nightstand, just in case?" Elsa whispered, hoping Anna got the point that one, Elsa wanted to handle this herself, and two, Elsa wanted Anna to get her gloves just in case she couldn't stay in control on her own anymore.

Anna frowned, but she nodded and ran off down the hall as Elsa asked.

* * *

Elsa turned back to face the duke. _Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I'm going to stay calm. _"Why did you send your g-guards after me? You had n-no right to do that. You attempted regicide." _I've been wondering that since the get-go. I'd left; I wasn't going to cause anyone any more trouble. Arendelle would have been permanently frozen with no way out if they had succeeded in killing me._

"Why are you stuttering every time you say anything?"

_Shut up. I know I'm stuttering; I can't help it. _"I asked my question first. And, may I a-add, _I_ have the authority h-here whether you like it or n-not. Answer my question," Elsa said firmly, determined not to let that man get under her skin any more than he had already. She clasped her hands behind her back, figuring if she _did_ make a mistake, that way the duke would not see it.

"You have unnatural, out of control powers over ice and snow and who knows what else! Could I _please_ have an answer to _my_ question now?"

Elsa immediately caught the faux patronizing tone of that question. "I daresay the way I t-talk is my own business, not yours," she said sweetly, ignoring the other things the duke had said. _I am not even going to try to explain my personal problems to someone like him. Okay, so he wanted to kill me simply for being…me. Great. What if people in Arendelle think the same way?_ Elsa's worries didn't show on her face-years of concealing her emotions assured her of that-but inside she was very agitated. _No ice, Elsa. Not here. Not now. Stay calm. Think of Anna. Happy thoughts._

"Well, you need to fix that."

"_Queen_ Elsa needs to fix what?" Anna asked, suddenly appearing next to her sister again. _Don't you dare hurt my sister's feelings. She's had quite enough of that._

"She stutters. She must not be able to handle the stress of ruling a kingdom."

Elsa bit her lip, but she was _not_ going to run away again. She wouldn't. Elsa felt ice forming in her clasped hands behind her back and clenched her hands together harder. _I'm not giving him the satisfaction of making me lose control. No, no, no. I can't help it that I'm talking funny. Maybe I should practice more…like every chance I get…_

"My sister has taken care of Arendelle for the past three years with no problems whatsoever! What does it matter if Elsa stutters a bit when she talks sometimes?! If you say ANYTHING else derogatory to or about my sister, I will make sure you're sorry! That's all I have to say!" Then Anna turned to Elsa and said in her normal happy voice, "Let's go downstairs, Elsa."

Elsa shook her head. _There's nothing else to talk to that duke about. He's not going to tell me anything useful. _"Okay, Anna. Good day, sir," she said, giving the duke a polite nod. Then she turned her back and strode off down the hall with Anna at her side.

* * *

"I need to go to an empty r-room. _Any_ empty room," Elsa whispered to Anna. _I need to let that ice out. I'm going to keep feeling like I'm about to lose control until I do._ She peeked inside the doorway to her parents' old room, figuring there would be no one in there. There wasn't. Elsa darted inside and shut the door. "Anna, stay away f-from me, please," she said quietly but firmly.

Anna frowned, but she did stay by the door while Elsa headed to the opposite side of the room. "Elsa, what are you doing? Why are we in here?"

Elsa iced over one wall and threw a few icicles at it. Then she smiled and made her signature snowflake in one hand. _Much better. Much, much better._ "Okay, I'm good now," Elsa said a moment later. She closed her eyes and concentrated on thawing the ice she had made. _Did it work? It did! _Elsa smiled and ran back over to Anna. "Shall we go d-downstairs? I'm ready. And you asked why I w-wasn't wearing my ice-dress…I thought i-it was going to look like 'Oh, I'm s-sorry I froze the kingdom, but hey, l-look at the cool dress I made!' That's why."

_Oh, Elsa just wanted to release her pent-up emotions by herself so no one could say she was 'losing control'. That makes sense._ "You did good holding it together around that stupid duke, Elsa," Anna told her sister, giving Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "And coming in here for a minute to let the ice out was a great idea! Lemme know if you need to disappear for a minute to do it again later in the day, 'kay? And I think you should wear your ice-dress if you want to-you look pretty in it and it's _you_. If people think like that, that's just stupid. Oh yeah, and you looked positively _happy_ when you made that cool snowflake thing-your face, like, lit up. I like seeing you happy. And your snowflake thing was really pretty!"

_I like my ice-dress too, and yes, it is me, but I want to make a good impression politically and I don't think that's going to do it. People are not only going to think who knows what about my powers, but they'll probably think I look like a little girl playing dress-up…except I know I don't. I look like _me _in that dress. A girl who's also the Snow Queen. _Elsa smiled and stepped a bit away from Anna, just in case, before making her signature snowflake again. "It's my signature snowflake," she said softly. _Someone else likes it. _Anna_ likes it. My baby sister likes it. _Elsa remembered when she had 'discovered'-okay, technically _re_discovered it by accident-her signature snowflake four and a half years before. _'I have a signature snowflake!' sixteen-year-old Elsa blurted. 'Look!' She pointed to the ice barrier, which was now covered with three large, clearly defined identical snowflake patterns in the cracks. 'You're supposed to be taking the barrier down, not reinforcing it with your ice snowflake patterns.' Elsa's face fell. _Of course Dad doesn't care. Probably doesn't even want to know. _'I _am_ trying to take it down. The snowflake patterns are cracks, not more ice.'_ Elsa's mind suddenly registered Anna's concerned voice in reality trying to talk to her. "Anna?" Elsa asked, sounding a bit confused.

"Elsa, are you all right? One second you were smiling and telling me about your signature snowflake, and then you like zoned out or something," Anna said. "You looked all upset and I was talking to you and you were staring into space and wouldn't respond…"

_Oh. Oh yeah. I had a flashback. Why did I have a flashback just about that?! _"I'm okay now," Elsa mumbled, staring down at the floor. _I'm sorry, Anna. I wasn't trying to ignore you._

* * *

Anna hugged her sister close, and Elsa instinctively flinched, but she didn't pull away. "You must have had a flashback or something. It's okay, Elsa. Whatever it was is over and it's not gonna bother you anymore. Do you…wanna talk about it? Maybe it'd help." _Oh, Elsa. My sweet big sister should not have to deal with this sort of thing. She never did anything to deserve this. I'm never, _ever_ leaving Elsa alone again. I'm going to help her be her old carefree self again. I know Elsa is mostly happy now, but there's still things hurting her inside from before._

"You liked my snowflake?" Elsa whispered. _And no, I don't want to talk about it. It's just…stupid. It doesn't matter anymore._

Anna jerked away from Elsa and put both hands firmly on her shoulders. "Who saw your signature snowflake and didn't like it, Elsa? What happened? Of course I like your snowflake. It's pretty!"

"It doesn't m-matter anymore." Elsa just shook her head and didn't say anything else.

"It matters 'cause whatever it is still bothers you. When it doesn't bother you anymore, _then_ it 'doesn't matter anymore'. Elsa, please tell me what happened. Maybe we can come up with something to do that'll get rid of it," Anna said.

_Anna isn't going to hate me if I tell her. I should just tell her and get it over with. It can't hurt anything, I suppose._ Elsa sighed. "Remember how my d-door used to lock on the outside?" (Anna nodded and made a face.) "Well, I used t-to put ice b-barriers up a-against the door so nobody c-could come in… That Christmas I was s-sixteen and we were out in the c-courtyard together and you f-fell off the roof…after I ran inside and g-got help, our father t-took me back to my r-room… I still had an i-ice barrier up on my side of the d-door, so he took the door off t-the hinges to break the ice d-down behind it…for whatever reason, it w-wouldn't break for him, so I started b-banging on it myself and that's when I f-found my signature snowflake pattern… It was s-stupid, but I was really h-happy I'd found something a-actually _pretty_ my powers made i-instead of creepy-looking icicles…" Elsa paused for a moment, trying to blink back tears. _Elsa, stop it. It does _not_ matter. Come on, you know you like that snowflake pattern and you know Anna likes it. Let it go. That's a good memory to let go of._

"And you told Dad about your snowflake and he either didn't like it or got mad at you. Right?"

Elsa's sad blue eyes immediately told Anna her guess was correct. _Yeah, Anna, that's exactly what happened…_ "After I'd s-sealed myself back in my r-room, I wanted t-to see my snowflake again…I knew I was s-stuck being like I was p-permanently, so I wanted t-to see the one pretty thing I knew th-they could make. I was so happy for a m-minute, and then I was wishing I c-could show _you_-and then I thought 'Anna d-doesn't want to see that. You're d-dangerous. You're an a-abnormal freak.' I ended up d-dropping the ice snowflake I'd m-made on the floor and i-it shattered…just _looking_ at it b-broken on the floor made a-actual me broken inside. I felt l-like that stupid shattered s-snowflake was me. Ruined a-and impossible t-to fix."

Anna hugged Elsa tight, not caring that there were cold snowflakes falling around her sister. She bit her lip when she realized Elsa was shaking with sobs and just kept her arms wrapped around her sister. _That's not happening again, Elsa. EVER. _Then the perfect idea hit Anna. "Elsa, make an ice snowflake again. Right now. You can show me now. I want to see it."

Elsa let her sister keep one arm around her shoulders as she held out a shaking hand and made the exact same intricate, delicate ice snowflake she had made years before, whose same pattern was all over her ice palace. _I'm not going to drop it this time. And I am not ruined or impossible to fix. Anna will help me. I know she will. _"If I can keep i-it intact after I release c-control on it, d-do you…do you w-want to k-keep it?" she asked quietly.

"I'd love to!" Anna exclaimed. "Now, Elsa, that snowflake is not shattered or broken. And neither are you. It's probably identical to the one you made before-you made it insta-perfect. I'm not going to say you're going to turn instantly to that happy carefree little girl you were at age eight, because you're a human girl, not a snowflake, and you've been hurt inside since you were little. Way too long. But you are _not_ broken, and I think whatever stuff still bothers you inside will go away eventually. And you'll always be perfect just the way you are to me. I don't care if you get upset or have flashbacks or icky nightmares or if you stutter. Well, I do _care_, 'cause I don't like seeing you hurting inside, but I'm not going to think anything less of you because of it. You're _my_ sweet big sister, no matter what."

_Anna doesn't mind me, so I'm not going to mind me either. It's okay to be 'just plain Elsa' now. I'm not broken. Cracked, maybe, but not broken. And cracks can be fixed. So there. _Elsa bit her lip in concentration as she carefully dispelled the shimmering blue glow that kept the ice snowflake in place hovering over her palm. The snowflake fell to the floor, and Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, not wanting to see her creation shattered again like before.

"Elsa…what's wrong? You might want to look down at the floor for a sec," Anna informed her with a slightly pleased tone.

"I don't w-want to see it shattered a-again like before…" Elsa's voice trailed off, but then her curiosity got the best of her and she chanced a quick glance at the floor. There lay the ice snowflake perfectly intact on the floor. _It didn't break?! It didn't…break. I dropped it and it didn't break._ Elsa picked up the ice snowflake and stared at it closely. What was different about this one that kept it from breaking? _I'm stronger now than when I was sixteen, but ice is just ice, right? Wait a second...is this one indestructible? Or at least stronger than normal ice? _She handed the snowflake to Anna and said, "Throw it as hard as you can. I want to t-test a theory I have."

Anna made a face. "What if it does break?"

"I'll make you another one. Just d-do it, okay? Please?" Elsa was smiling now, not bouncing on her toes like her sister might do, but close enough.

"Ok…" Anna hurled the snowflake against the wall, and it fell to the floor, making a quiet _ting_ sound.

"It worked!" Elsa exclaimed happily.

Anna ran to pick up the snowflake, realizing just what Elsa had been trying to test. "You can make indestructible ice. That is so awesome! It _must_ be special ice, 'cause it's not even starting to melt when I'm holding it."

* * *

Elsa's expression became impish as she thought of something else she could try. "I'm going to s-stick that snowflake in the fire in the kitchen and see if it melts," she announced.

Anna laughed. "Are you sure that's not too childish for a queen or something?" she teased. _Wait, why did I say that?! Elsa was actually happy to do something with her powers. I can't take that away from her._

"Well…" Elsa's mischievous, happy expression faded for a moment, but then her face brightened again. "It probably is, but Gerda w-will be in the kitchen a-and I don't think she'll mind." She paused before adding, "I do _not_ want them r-right now, but did you get m-my gloves off the nightstand? I'm r-ready to go downstairs for b-breakfast, but I th-thought I'd better bring them j-just in c-case…" _Good grief, Elsa, just slow down and think carefully before you try to say anything. Anna may not mind me stuttering, but I don't want everyone in the whole castle to hear it. I already did it in front of that stupid duke and two guards…_

"Yes, I got 'em, Elsa, but you're gonna be fine. If you need to, just excuse yourself and go let the ice out in another room and come back," Anna suggested. "What are you worried about now?" she asked, noticing Elsa's changing expression.

"I can't even talk r-right," Elsa said softly. _What if everyone else thinks like the duke does? That I talk like that because I can't handle the stress of ruling a kingdom? Or that I should be killed or put in the dungeon because of my powers?_ "What if-"

Anna interrupted. "Elsa, are you worried that everyone else is going to treat you like that stupid Weaseltown duke did?"

Elsa slowly nodded. "What if I go d-downstairs and everyone's like, 'Why are y-you talking like that? And you should b-be in the dungeon' or something?" _I know nobody even technically has the authority to do such a thing, and I know I could get out if I did get put down there again, but…I don't want to hear anyone saying that to me again…it hurts and I'll probably end up losing control again._

_Elsa, nobody is putting you in that stupid dungeon again. Mom and Dad should not have put you down there in the first place. _"Then you either freeze their stupid mouths shut or turn your back and ignore them. But I really don't think anyone's going to say or think anything of the sort. Elsa, listen to me. Can you take a deep breath and say something for me? Say this: I can talk without stuttering." Anna gave her sister an expectant smile and waited for her to reply.

"I can…talk w-without…_Anna, I told you I couldn't do it!_" Elsa blurted, annoyed with herself for messing up something so simple.

"Elsa, you just said 'Anna, I told you I couldn't do it' without stuttering at all. Try again. I know you can do it!" Anna squeezed Elsa's shoulder, trying to encourage her. _I know Elsa can talk without doing that. She did before, and she doesn't do it every time she talks, either._

Elsa bit her lip for a minute before trying again. _Anna is so sure I can do it. I don't want to let her expectations down again like I did for all that time when we were little. I'm going to do it right this time. _"I…cantalkwithoutstuttering," she finally said all in a rush. "Did I do it right?" Elsa asked hopefully.

Anna was torn between being amused that her twenty-one-year-old sister quite honestly sounded like she was five with that 'Did I do it right?' question and being upset that Elsa had to ask a question like that in the first place, especially about something that she shouldn't have had trouble with in the first place. The upset-ness won out, and Anna just hugged Elsa close. "You did it just right, Elsa."

"I did something right f-for once…?" Elsa didn't quite sound certain whether she meant for that to be a statement or a question. She had been so used to feeling like she had done the wrong thing no matter what she did for so long that it was hard for her to believe that Anna really thought she had done something right. _Anna told me I did something right. I must have done something right then, because I know Anna wouldn't lie to me._

"Of course you did…hey wait a second, what did you mean by 'for once'?"

Elsa sighed. _You probably already know, Anna. I don't want to talk about it. _"Take a guess," she replied a moment later.

Anna thought for all of about two seconds before exploding. "Our parents made you feel like you had always done the wrong thing, no matter what you'd done, I'll bet! Right? Everything that happened to you was _their_ fault! You tried to do the right thing by, like, giving storm warnings, and they didn't believe you; you tried to-…And wait, another thing; it's their fault _my sweet big sister_ tried to kill herself" she grabbed Elsa's hand and pointed at the faint pink line on her wrist "and has got a scar on her wrist because of it! What if you'd actually succeeded?! It would have been their fault I lost my sister and you'd have…died all alone feeling awful! THAT IS NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR!" Anna paused with her rant, realizing Elsa was just standing stock-still watching with her blue eyes wide. "What Elsa?! It's true! I know it is!"

Elsa looked down at her wrist and answered slowly, "I…don't think…what I did…was our parents' fault…it's complicated, but…I think it was…mostly because I just…felt like I couldn't…do this anymore…just _life_, you know? I'd hurt you…I couldn't a-apologize…I thought Mom and Dad dying…was my fault…I couldn't undo anything…I was still messed up a-and dangerous…I had been stuck in…that room for ten years…by then. I'd had enough…all I was good for was…destroying things and…hurting everyone I c-cared about. I thought it…was best for everyone if…I just d-disappeared. The _only_ reason I…didn't try it again…was because of you. You were the one…thing that k-kept me going…all that time…" _Why did I say all that? I sound pathetic. What a drip. _"You can pretend you d-didn't hear any of that," she added in a flat voice.

"It's still their fault 'cause you wouldn't have been locked in your room for those ten years if it wasn't for them! And-"

"Anna, I want to go downstairs now," Elsa interrupted firmly. _I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over; that was three years ago, and I have Anna back. I may still have some problems, but I'm mostly okay. _"May I please have m-my gloves now? I want to put them i-in my pocket." _Yep, this dress does have pockets. Good._

"You don't need those, Elsa," Anna said, frowning as she watched her sister carefully tuck the gloves into her own pocket.

"I'd rather be safe than s-sorry." Elsa smiled a bit and hesitated before holding her still-bare hand out to Anna. _It's okay now, Elsa. You can hold Anna's hand like a normal sister would._

Anna grinned and promptly grabbed her sister's hand. "C'mon! To the dining hall!"

Elsa giggled as she let Anna pull her out of the room and downstairs. _I love you, Anna. You never gave up on me. And you don't mind, well, me. I can only hope at least some of the people won't mind me, either._

**A/N: The next chapter will probably be the last...there MIGHT be two more, but I'm thinking just one. (I don't know how accurate my guess is, lol; I know what's going to happen, but not how many words it will be.:))**

**So Elsa's figured out a way to let her feelings out even if she's still trying to conceal in front of people like the Duke of Weaseltown.:P Elsa, you're awesome; don't worry about what that dumb duke thinks.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	34. Queen Elsa of Arendelle

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**minerbuilder12-I'm glad you like my story!:)**

**KarltheWizard-Thank you!:) I'm glad you like the way I've been writing Elsa and Anna.:) Elsa especially makes me happy. She's one of those characters that seems like they're fragile, but they're really strong as steel if you really think about it. Come on, how many people would be in Elsa's spot and not completely break down or turn into a villain? Sure, Elsa gets upset easily, and she can be pushed over the edge (like during the attack on the ice palace); but I think she's secretly tough as nails. I love Elsa's character. Elsa is awesome.:) I shall shut up with fangirling over Queen Elsa of Arendelle now.:P Thank _you_ for liking my story!**

**CieloFede-Lol, she really should...I thought that was funny...Elsa TOTALLY should freeze him solid.;)**

**Frozen789-Lol, I would Thank you!:) Don't worry; there's more stories coming from me after this one if you're interested.:) I have lots of ideas.;)**

**Fatten Saad-Thank you!:) I'm glad you liked it.:) Sorry, I'm not writing a chapter on Anna and Kristoff getting married (they aren't even engaged yet in my mind); HOWEVER, I'll make sure they announce their engagement in the sequel to 'Adventures of Elsa &amp; Anna'. How's that?:)**

**On to the story!:) {OKAY, I LIED; THIS IS ACTUALLY THE SECOND-TO-LAST CHAPTER! Not the last one.:)}**

Breakfast in the dining hall downstairs with so many guests still present was an all-new experience for Elsa, especially when it seemed like _everyone_ wanted to talk to her. She knew she was supposed to sit at the head of the table, so she purposely made sure Anna sat on the right and her cousin Rapunzel on the left. _I think I can talk best to my own family. Come on, Elsa, no stuttering now, okay? And don't talk unless you have to. That should help._ Elsa let all the other guests sit wherever they wanted. She clasped her hands together under the table, feeling ice not quite forming on her fingertips, but almost. _Calm down, Elsa. You can't lose control in here._

Anna gently kicked Elsa under the table and gave her a reassuring smile. _You'll be fine, Elsa._ She closed her eyes and mimed taking a deep breath.

Elsa smiled a bit and nodded almost imperceptibly at her sister. _Thanks, Anna. I know you're right. Deep breaths help._ She jumped when she realized Rapunzel was talking to her. "I'm sorry, can you…" Pause. _Slow down. Relax._ "Could you repeat that…please?" Elsa asked.

"Sure! I just said your magic is really cool. In both ways-you know, like temperature-wise, and the other kind of cool, too," Rapunzel said. "What's the trick for controlling it? You're obviously lots happier and you aren't wearing gloves anymore."

"Thank you." _Rapunzel likes my powers, too!_ Elsa thought happily. "And it's love. But I have t-to be happy at the same time. I think." _Relax, Elsa. You stuttered a little bit that time._

"Tell Miss Icy there she should show everyone in here a _controlled_ bit of what she can do," said Eugene, who was sitting next to Rapunzel.

"Eugene! Ru-ude!" Rapunzel hissed quietly. "Miss Icy indeed! Call her Queen Elsa unless she says otherwise."

"Call Elsa the Snow Queen," Anna suggested from across the table. "'Cause that's what she is."

Elsa's cheeks grew pink, but she didn't deny either nickname. _I don't mind those names. Those aren't mean things like 'monster' or something else like that. _"I wouldn't mind showing j-just the three of you a 'controlled bit of what I c-can do'," she replied finally. _I don't feel comfortable enough to do that in public…I might mess up…_

"Castle gardens after breakfast?" Anna offered.

Elsa shook her head regretfully. "I have to take c-care of something first." _I have to talk to that stupid Hans…_ "But afterwards I'd love t-to."

"Let's say noon then," Anna decided. She didn't care what Elsa was doing; she couldn't wait to spend time with her cousin and watch her big sister show off her powers.

Elsa smiled and nodded.

* * *

"Queen Elsa, what is your stance on using those strong powers of yours to expand Arendelle's borders?" a dignitary from farther down the table called a few minutes later.

Elsa was so shocked she accidentally iced over her spoon and dropped it on the floor._ Calm down, Elsa! Conceal, don't feel. You can't lose control in here. Wait and excuse yourself to let the ice out._ "I shall not be fancying m-myself the next Napoleon, if that is…your meaning," she replied. _I can barely keep my powers under control and people think I'm going to use them as an offense mechanism to increase Arendelle's power?! Great. I know I would use them to _defend_ my country if need be, but that's it._

"Are your powers the reason the gates were shut for all those years?" someone else asked.

_What do you think?! Duh. _"It certainly wasn't…because I love isolation," Elsa said shortly. _I hate it. I like being by myself _sometimes_, yes, but being locked in my room terrified of losing control and hurting people, NO._ She suddenly realized she was making the temperature in the room drop-_thank goodness_ she could feel temperatures now or she wouldn't have known at all-and tried her best to calm down and return the temperature to normal. _It's not working! I know it's not!_

Anna quickly realized what was going on and purposely leaned toward her sister. "Elsa, just relax. Breathe. 'Scuse yourself from the room if you need to," she whispered. "And don't put your gloves on," Anna added when she noticed what Elsa was about to do.

Elsa stuffed her gloves back in her pocket and clasped her hands together under the table. _I'm not hungry anymore. I just want to get out of here. Conceal, don't feel. I can't lose control in here._

"Will you be giving everyone some warning next time before the whole kingdom is frozen?"

"I promise that will _not_…be happening…again," Elsa said firmly. Careful not to reveal that she was feeling all nervous and squirmy inside, she pushed away from the table and stood up. "Do excuse me." _It's going to leak out again. Go away, ice. At least for a few minutes. Please?_

* * *

Elsa managed to make it inside the kitchen and shut the door before the ice finally made her lose control. Frost spread in a snowflake pattern all over the door where Elsa had her hand pressed against it. _Calm down, Elsa. Or you _will_ be freezing all of Arendelle again._ She shrank back against the wall when she realized she wasn't the only person in the kitchen. There was Gerda and another servant who Elsa honestly didn't recognize there too. "I'm sorry; I'll j-just…go s-somewhere else…" she stammered. _Great job, Elsa. It doesn't matter if Gerda sees you mess up, but it does if anyone else does…_

"Gerda, I _told_ you she was going to lose control again!" the servant Elsa didn't recognize half-whispered.

"Be quiet. You're lucky Queen Elsa hasn't fired you yet," Gerda said.

Elsa frowned. "Why would I f-fire her?" she asked in confusion. _That was a legitimate suspicion after all, even if it does…hurt a little…_

"That Prince Hans hired her, that's why," Gerda told her. "He brought her with him from the Southern Isles."

_I can't let her stay on the castle staff if that's the case. Hans was probably trying to undermine me from the inside somehow…_ "I will pay you for y-your time you've worked, but y-you must return to the Southern Isles w-with Hans," Elsa decided. She sent a look at Gerda that said _Get her out of here,_ and Gerda sent Hans's servant out with another platter of breakfast pancakes.

* * *

"Thank you," Elsa said gratefully the moment the kitchen door was shut again. "I'm sorry I c-came darting in here l-like that…"

"Queen Elsa, don't apologize for that. You're perfectly fine. Is it wrong to guess something happened in the dining hall?" Gerda asked, nodding at the frosted over door behind Elsa.

"Someone asked me if I p-planned to give a warning n-next time I froze everything," Elsa said softly. "I said that w-wasn't going to happen a-again, but I got all s-squirmy inside…I had to get out of th-there…" _And I lost control and iced the kitchen door._ Elsa clasped her hands together close against her chest. "And c-can you please just c-call me just plain 'Elsa'?"

Gerda just pointed at the hot oven. "Freeze the oven, Miss Elsa. Then thaw it. You know how to do that now."

_She wants me to do what?! Although isn't letting the ice out what helped before…_ Elsa bit her lip as she slowly walked over to the oven. She was just reaching a hand out to touch it when

"Queen Elsa, no, don't touch that!" Gerda exclaimed.

Elsa tilted her head to one side, thinking. _Why not? Oh…I guess I might get burned if I touch it since I can feel heat now. Right? _She shrugged and just began shooting ice into the oven. A moment later, the oven went cold, and Elsa smiled and managed to thaw it completely. _It makes me feel all happy inside to actually be able to do that,_ she thought. "Thank you…"

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah…I mean yes," Elsa corrected herself. "I'm still not…not c-completely _fixed_…I just…I don't know…" _I'm okay right now and I'm lots better, but it's not 'instinctive' that my powers stay under control like when I was little, either. I have to really think about it and _concentrate. _But that's okay-I have Anna back, and she doesn't mind me._

"I don't want to hear anything about you needing to be 'fixed', Miss Elsa, because it's not true. You might still need a little time to heal inside, but there is _nothing_ wrong with you. Everyone still welcomes you on the throne," Gerda said firmly.

"Prince Hans a-and the Duke of Weas-_Wes_elton don't," Elsa muttered to herself. _Although Gerda does have a point…nobody acted like they hated me or didn't want me around when Anna and I walked back to the castle yesterday. Well, except for a very few people, and that's not reason for me to get upset. _"Gerda, are you the one that l-left that note for me in the…dungeon?" she asked. _I'm almost a hundred percent sure it was, but I want to know for sure…_ "If so, I just w-wanted to say _thank you…_" _Someone still cared what happened to me even after all the mess I made…_

"Yes, it was! Queen Elsa, that Prince Hans of the Southern Isles brought you back to the castle tied up and unconscious. When I tried to carry you upstairs to your room, he insisted that you be put in the dungeon instead. Since your sister left him in charge, nobody could go against his wishes. So I took you down there myself and left that note in the hopes that you would find it when you woke up…Evidently you did, thank goodness…"

"I hate Hans," Elsa said aloud, assuming she was just thinking to herself. "Did anyone…come in m-my cell while I was knocked out?" she asked.

Gerda chuckled at Elsa's 'I hate Hans' comment. "You speak for all of us when you say you 'hate Hans', my queen. And no, no one went in that cell at all except Hans, and you were already awake by then. Unless you count me actually putting you in there, that is."

Elsa blushed when she realized she had spoken her opinion of Hans aloud; then sighed in relief at the knowledge that no, no one had come in her cell while she was unconscious. _Thank goodness. That would have creeped me out if someone had come in there… _"Just you?" she asked, wanting reassurance of the fact.

"Yes, Miss Elsa, only me," Gerda repeated firmly.

"Thank you for taking c-care of me," Elsa said quietly. "I don't m-mean just now-I mean all the years s-since I was little, too…" _Gerda has always been the one grownup who knew about my powers and didn't treat me like…like some defective thing that's less than human or something. Kai was nice to me too, but I never really had much contact with him, either._

"Taking care of you is what your old servant is supposed to do. No need for thanks."

Elsa smiled a bit, but she didn't say anything. _You could have let Hans do any old thing with me, but you stood up for me instead, authority or no._ Elsa jumped when she heard clattering from the other side of the kitchen. "What is that?!"

* * *

Olaf came waddling out of a cabinet with chocolate all over his snowy mouth. "Oops. This castle has yummy chocolate in it!"

Elsa clapped a hand over her mouth. "Olaf! You…you _got into the chocolate!_ Gerda, I'm…I'm sorry-I-I didn't know he was in here!"

"Is your little snowman really alive, Queen Elsa? He's cute, but evidently very messy," Gerda said, glancing at the chocolaty mess Olaf had made inside the cabinet.

"Yes, but I'm n-not even quite sure how I did it…" _I can make sentient life…I need to make sure I don't do that unwittingly. That would be creepy… _Elsa glanced down at her hands; then knelt down and picked up Olaf. "Olaf, you can't make messes in the kitchen. Gerda w-will end up having to clean up the m-mess _you_ made. Do you think you c-can help clean up the mess?"

Olaf just gave Elsa a hug. "You made me to like warm hugs, so you must like 'em too! We gotta make up for all the missing hugs since you were little!" Then he added, "Is the lady your friend? Is she nice? Or is she a creepo like the bad man that left Anna in the library?"

Elsa's eyes suddenly filled with tears at Olaf's missing hugs comment, but she didn't try to force herself to stop as she usually did. _I must have given Olaf knowledge of…past me or something, or he wouldn't even know what happened. And I do like hugs; I'm just still a bit hesitant to let anyone give me a hug, let alone me hug someone else, unless it's Anna. And Olaf and Marshmallow, of course. I wonder what happened to Marshmallow…_ "That lady is nice, and she is my friend." _Are you my friend? Sort of? _Elsa looked up at Gerda, who just smiled at her. "So please listen t-to her, okay?" _And that stupid Hans left Anna in the library…what does that mean? Did he lock her in there?_

"Ok! I will clean up allll the mess myself! Elsa…why are you crying?" Olaf asked.

"I don't know…I'm fine." Elsa brushed her tears away and smiled at Olaf. _I really am fine. I can take care of things myself now. _

"Gerda, I need to go t-talk to Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Elsa sat on her throne in the Great Hall with a certain Southern Isles prince standing in front of her. _Elicit calm, Elsa. You can do this. Don't break down, no matter what. Stay in control. _"You may leave now. Thank y-you," she told the two guards that had brought Hans to the Great Hall from the dungeon.

"Are you certain you wish to be left alone with this particular prisoner, Queen Elsa?" one of the guards asked.

"Quite. I d-do have certain _defense mechanisms_" Elsa sent Hans a pointed glare, "that I will n-not hesitate to use this time."

The guard nodded and left the room, looking rather pleased at Elsa's reaction.

Elsa turned her focus back on Hans. _Stay in control. Stay in control. _A swirling blue glow appeared in her hand, and she held it out in Hans's direction. "I am not that broken g-girl you tried to assassinate out on the fjord. You will not try a-anything on me, or you will have to d-deal with _that_." Elsa gestured at the sparkling blue glowing thing her magic was making, which quite honestly would have been pretty if she hadn't been threatening certain creeps with it. "Understood?"

Hans just stared sullenly at her. "You aren't going to do anything to me. Not after your reaction to that stunt you pulled at that thing you made on the North Mountain."

_Control it. Don't conceal it. Control it. _Elsa closed her eyes, and an instant later, the blue glow had disappeared and Hans's feet were frozen to the floor. _Okay, I actually did it._ "There is an unlimited s-supply where that came from. That 'thing I made' is my i-ice palace, which _you_ attacked. I must give m-my thanks for stopping me from k-killing those intruders, but-"

"Oh, so you admit you were in the wrong," Hans interrupted. "Monsters killing monsters, eh?"

Elsa's expression twisted as if she were in pain for a moment; but then her blue eyes flashed and she strode right over to Hans and stared him right in the face, not caring that she was the shorter of the two of them. _You're trying to break me. I'm not letting you do that to me again. I don't know whether it would have been right for me to kill those intruders or not, but that's for me to judge, not you. I'm not the one that tried to kill someone who tried to ask her attackers to stop first. That I do know. _"You _will_ respect me. You don't have t-to like me, but you will _not_ c-call me names in my own home. Now shut y-your snarky mouth and answer m-my questions." She abruptly turned away and marched back up onto the throne dais. "And nothing more!" she added firmly.

"What's wrong with you?"

Elsa frowned. "What is that supposed t-to mean?" _Elsa, why did you say that?! That's what he wanted you to say. You just gave him a free invite to pick on you. Stupid._

"You're stuttering every other word you say. Are you _nervous_?"

"I am not. You are s-succeeding only in making m-me angry," Elsa almost spat. _I hate this. Why can't I just talk right?! All me stuttering is doing is giving him more ammunition to try to bother me with._

"You probably have PTSD or something."

_What is that anyway? I've never even heard of it. _"I d-don't even know what that is, and I don't care. You are g-going to answer my questions now," Elsa replied.

"Post traumatic stress disorder…"

Elsa figuratively froze for a moment, looking down at the floor; then shook her head and glared back at Hans. _That actually sounds like something that could be wrong with me, but I don't think so. Everything started getting fixed only yesterday afternoon. If I _do_ have anything wrong with me remotely like that, it isn't permanent. Anna would help me get rid of it. _"You know what; there is _nothing_ wrong w-with me." _Anna told me so._ "Let's see what you are l-like after being locked in your r-room for thirteen years because of s-something that is simply part of who y-you are." Pause. "After certain usurpers throw y-you in your own castle's d-dungeon and eventually lie to you and c-claim your little sister is dead b-because of you. Now shut up and only answer m-my questions." Elsa paused again for a moment, then asked, "Why did you leave Princess Anna in the library?"

"I had no use for her anymore. Look, I know you don't like me. Didn't from the start. So since I wasn't going to get anywhere with you, I edited my plan and used your sister instead. Your sister is so naïve and stupid. You'd think it would be the other way around, since _you_ were the one kept in her room since she was a kid."

"Don't you _dare_ call my sister stupid!" Elsa nearly shouted. "You do that once more and I swear I will be seeing a solid block of ice in front of me instead of a disrespectful loathsome scumbag of a prince. You can insult me all day long to yourself if you like, but you will NOT insult my sister!" Elsa glanced down at the floor, realizing she was making ice spread everywhere in her anger, but she didn't attempt to thaw it. _That jerk is going to hate me no matter what I do. My ice can just stay all over the floor for all I care. And wait a second…I didn't stutter once when I said all that. Good job, Elsa._

"I'd like to see you just try that," Hans commented, figuring Elsa would not follow through on her threat to freeze him solid. Somehow he was quite sure that although that girl might have the right to have him executed, she probably would not do any such thing.

Elsa whipped around to face the wall for a moment, her long platinum braid swinging behind her. _Get it together, Elsa. You are not going to freeze that guy, no matter how much he deserves it. You are not a killer…you came close with those thugs at the ice palace, but you didn't actually do it. Calm down. Calm down. _She took a deep breath and turned back to face Hans. _I'll just change the subject. _"How did you manage to make s-such a precise shot at m-my chandelier to drop it on me? I know it did n-"

"Did you know your own father was so scared of you that he considered keeping you in the dungeon permanently to live there?" Hans responded.

Elsa's face went white for a moment, but then she just gave Hans a scathing look and informed him, "You interrupted me." _He's probably making things up, trying to hurt me. Well, it's not going to work. I'm not falling for any such thing. The only thing is…my parents _did_ lock me down there twice, and the only reason I got out the second time was because Anna snuck down there and let me out…And that surprised expression Hans just made means he _did_ drop the chandelier on me. I thought so._

"It's true. Go read your father's journal from several years ago. In the bottom drawer of the dresser in what appears to be the former monarch's room."

"You're lying," Elsa replied, but she didn't sound quite so sure of herself anymore._ Please let him be lying…please…_

"Nope. 'Today Elsa froze a large portion of the wall in her room, despite the fact she was still wearing her gloves. She is only twelve, but her powers seem to have grown in strength significantly overnight. It's frightening. Elsa is trying so hard to control it-I can see it on her face-but it's not good enough. Nothing is working. I fear she may have to move downstairs to the dungeon if the ice problem gets much worse'," Hans quoted a portion of the old journal he had found when he had gone snooping around the castle after Anna had left him in charge.

_There's no way Hans could know about how my powers suddenly grew way stronger when I was twelve… _Elsa stumbled backwards a few steps, practically falling into her original spot sitting on the throne. She easily remembered that incident from when she was twelve. _'I'm scared! It's getting stronger!' Elsa's twelve-year-old self said, staring at her hands as she backed towards the wall, where a large icy snowflake spread on the wall and part of the floor. 'Getting upset only makes it worse. Calm down.' _I know, but I can't! It's too much for me,_ Elsa thought. She held her hands close against her chest and backed away further a moment later. 'No! Don't touch me! Please, I don't want to hurt you…'_

_ I knew I was never good enough,_ Elsa thought. _That proves it. I was still so stupid when I was twelve. Were you really going to make me live down there if I totally lost it, Mom and Dad? Why couldn't I have just talked to Anna from the beginning? She could have helped fix me…I know she could have. _Tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks, and she was suddenly aware that it was snowing all over the Great Hall. _I completely lost control this time. Completely, totally lost it. I want Anna back right now! She could help me fix this. _On instinct, Elsa just pulled her gloves out of her pocket and yanked them on her shaking hands. _Calm down, Elsa. You're causing a scene….wait a minute…that stupid Hans is still in here! I did this in front of him. Terrific. Not. _Elsa managed to disperse most of the snow falling all over the Great Hall, but snowflakes still floated down only around her anyway. _I fixed part of the mess I made, but…_ "I hate you, Hans. I really, really, hate you," she muttered, not caring if he heard her or not.

"The truth hurts, huh?"

* * *

Just then, Anna came running in, having announced to the guards right outside the Great Hall that she didn't care _what_ Elsa said; she was going in there anyway. Anna slipped on the ice all over the floor and went sliding across the room, coming to a stop right in front of the throne dais. "Um…hi? Totally meant to do that! Hey, wait a second…why is there ice all over the place in here?" Anna hopped to her feet and looked carefully at Elsa's I'm-trying-to-be-neutral-but-I'm-failing expression. Then Anna noticed her sister was wearing her gloves again, and she whipped around to face Hans. "What did you do to Elsa?! What did you say to her? You had better tell me, or I will pop you right in the nose again!" _He said SOMETHING to Elsa that made her all upset; I just know it._

"Your sister just can't take the truth, that's all. Why don't you ask her?" Hans replied instantly.

Elsa bit her lip. _Anna's here. She can help me. I know she will. _"I'm not s-saying a _word_ to her with you present," she said as firmly as her slightly trembling voice would permit. Elsa felt Anna slip her hand into her own gloved one, and she squeezed Anna's hand tightly. _Thank you, Anna._

"Oh, you just don't want me to see you break down, is that it?"

Anna jerked her hand out of her sister's, marched over to Hans, and slapped him in the face, not caring if she should do that or not. "I don't know what you told Elsa, but you are NOT going to pick on her if I have anything to do with it! How dare you hurt Elsa like that! Do you even know all the things she was dealing with for years and years on end?! You LIED to Elsa, telling her I was dead; and technically, you hurt me too. I really thought you loved me. Thank goodness my sister had the sense to nix the whole marriage thing from the get-go. What would you have done? Poisoned Elsa? Killed me in my sleep so you could be king? You have no sense of how other people think or feel, none at all! You're just lucky Elsa is nice. Do you realize she could have you executed for what you did? But noooo, the worst thing my sister did to you was freeze your feet to the floor. You just-"

Anna's speech was interrupted as Elsa opened the doors to the Great Hall to let the guards in. "Take Prince Hans back d-downstairs, please," Elsa told them. She scrunched her eyes shut and finally managed to disperse all of the rest of the ice in the room.

* * *

The second Hans and the guards were gone, Elsa shut the door again and just stood still, wondering how to tell Anna what happened. _I completely lost it. I don't know what I would have done if Anna hadn't come in…_

Anna ran over to Elsa and paused a couple feet away from her, remembering Elsa didn't like getting too close when she was upset. "Elsa, is it all right to give you a hug?" she asked.

"I…don't know…" Elsa frowned, but she didn't say anything more. _What kind of response was that?! That was stupid, Elsa._

"Then I'm taking that as a yes," Anna said, and quickly hugged Elsa close. "See, everything's fine. The creep is back in the dungeon where he belongs; he's not going to say anything to hurt you any more."

Elsa shuddered a bit in Anna's arms, but she didn't pull away. "It w-wasn't Prince Creep exactly, Anna…he got into Dad's old j-journals and there was…there was…when I was t-twelve, Dad was already…alr-ready…" Elsa's already shaking voice broke and she burst into tears. _Get it together, Elsa! Don't lose control again. Conceal, don't feel…wait, isn't that wrong? I don't want to do that anymore…_

Anna's hold on her sister tightened when she realized Elsa's legs had collapsed under her. "It's ok, Elsa. I'm not going to let you fall," she said firmly. She scooped Elsa up in her arms and began staggering towards the stairs.

"I don't…want anyone s-seeing…me like this," Elsa whispered. _I don't even like Anna seeing me like this, let alone anyone else in the castle…someone will end up saying there's something wrong with me and that I'm not fit to be queen…I'm surprised no one has done that already…_

"Elsa, all the guests except Rapunzel and Eugene started heading to their ships right after breakfast. And that stupid duke and Hans, of course. Nobody's gonna see you all upset," Anna assured her.

Contented with this knowledge, Elsa just buried her face in Anna's shoulder and didn't make any more protests. "Thank y-you, Anna," she said, her voice sounding a bit muffled. _Anna's…carrying _me_ upstairs? Why did I collapse like that? Maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't know. No, there isn't. That stupid creep was just trying to make me think that._

* * *

Anna paused in front of their parents' old room. "Elsa, let's go see what this old journal of Dad's really said. Maybe Prince Creep was exaggerating." She carefully set Elsa down on her feet, but she didn't completely let go. "Can you walk by yourself now, sis? You're getting really heavy, no offense."

Elsa gave her sister a lopsided smile. "I think so. Does that m-mean you think I'm fat?" she asked. "'Cause I think I'm skinny as a s-stick, actually. I probably stick out i-in all the wrong pl-"

"Nonono, Elsa! Just…too heavy for me to carry any more," Anna corrected. Then she giggled when she realized Elsa had been teasing that time. "Your sense of humor needs to stop including picking on yourself!" Anna reached for her sister's hands, but Elsa just drew her hands back and wouldn't let Anna touch them. "Elsa, take the stupid gloves off, will you?! I can easily tell that you feel better now. You smiled and you made a joke."

"But I m-messed up. I lost c-control again…" Elsa glanced down at her hands and made a face. _Maybe I should just leave them on, just in case…I don't like wearing them though…_

Anna pulled Elsa down on the floor next to her in front of their parents' old dresser; then put an arm around Elsa's shoulders. "You made a little _mistake_, Elsa. Nothing more. It's ok to mess up sometimes. And besides, you wouldn't have even done that if that stupid creep hadn't purposely said things meant to hurt you. Take 'em off, Elsa. If you 'mess up' again, just think happy thoughts and take a few deep breaths. That should help you calm down if you can't just leave the situation for whatever reason."

Elsa relaxed a bit and allowed Anna to take her gloves off, but she still didn't smile. _I know Anna is right, but…but I can't just totally lose it every time someone treats me like Hans did…_ She sighed and yanked the bottom drawer of the dresser open. "Let's find that journal."

"Yeah!"

* * *

A moment later, Elsa accidentally brushed her too-sensitive fingers against a rough spot on the wooden drawer and jerked away as she let out a quiet yelp. _What was that?! Something poked me…it hurt!_

"What's wrong?" Anna asked as she flipped through the journal she had found. "I think this is the right one…"

"That drawer hurt me!" Elsa announced.

Anna grinned and gently took Elsa's hand and peered at it closely. "You just got a splinter, that's all. A big one, it looks like. Come over to the window and I'll help you get it out."

Elsa followed her sister over to the window and just watched as Anna tried to get that splinter out of her finger. "I don't think I've gotten a s-splinter since I was little," Elsa said softly. _Not that I like getting splinters or something-I don't-but I know _why_ I never got any splinters. Because I was always wearing gloves._

"What, you _like_ getting splinters stuck in your finger?" Anna asked, only half-teasing.

"No, I just…I'm still n-not used to actually _touching_ things without the gloves. I suppose getting a s-splinter is like a sort of…rite of p-passage or something to me, I guess." Elsa smiled a bit as Anna finally got the splinter out and just gave her finger a reassuring squeeze.

"All fixed. Let's just try to let you touch things that aren't painful instead, hmm?" Anna paused for a moment before exclaiming, "Hey, I know! You'll have to tell me some things that you've always wanted to touch, like, I don't know…a cat. Or a dog. Velvet. Or whatever!"

"Velvet," Elsa replied with certainty. "I sort of remember l-liking the texture when I was little. I don't want t-to touch any…live animals…not yet. But maybe eventually?" she asked hopefully. _I don't want to pet a kitten or a puppy…what if I hurt it? Or it might not like me and it'll be scared of me. I _would_ sort of love a pet kitten, though…I like cats._

"Okie-dokie!" Anna smiled and pulled Elsa back over to the dresser. "I think I found that journal. Shall we take a look at it?"

Elsa frowned. _What if Hans was actually telling the truth about it?_ "Could I l-look myself first, please?" she asked.

Anna handed her the old journal and then began digging around in the drawer in search of a journal from _before_ the original accident when the two of them were little.

* * *

Elsa scanned the journal page after page. _This is from the right year…I _was_ twelve, but I don't see anything about what Hans said. _"They were trying to g-get a son then?!" she blurted in surprise about one page. "Sexist," Elsa added in disgust a moment later. _If Mom and Dad didn't want _me_ to be the next Arendelle monarch, that's understandable; but then they should have just named _Anna_ the crown princess. Blah. There have been several Arendelle queens in the past, so it's not like it's 'not done' in my country._

Anna just giggled. "Maybe it's just 'cause they knew I would make a really crummy queen if something happened to you or something," she suggested. "A son would be the only legal way the succession to the throne could 'skip over' me, right? I think, anyways." She paused before adding, "I thought the firstborn kid in our country was the first in line to the throne, period, whether they were a girl or a boy; and THEN the line of succession would put the boys in front of the girls."

"You didn't pay much attention i-in your lessons, did you?" Elsa giggled. "If the children are all g-girls or all boys, it goes from oldest t-to youngest. But if a girl is the oldest, she c-can be 'pushed back' by a younger brother. Technically, I _think_ I should h-have been referred to as 'heir presumptive', n-not 'heir apparent', since I c-could have been pushed out of l-line by a younger brother…not absolutely p-positive on that, though. And if the oldest k-kid can be proven somehow unfit to rule, there's a p-provision according to Arendelle law that the n-next person in line can be made the crown princess, or p-prince, as the case may be." She closed her eyes and paused for a minute. "I would have easily s-satisfied that provision... Now that I'm th-thinking about it, our parents c-could have…_disposed_ of me when I w-was a baby once they found out what w-was wrong with me," Elsa said softly.

"Who the heck would kill a little bitty baby?!" Anna exclaimed in horror.

"Anna! Don't say h-…what y-you just said. And it's happened before. I don't r-remember just how long ago it was, b-but one tyrannical king _forever_ ago attempted to dispose of the f-firstborn child when it was born a g-girl unable to walk. The monarchy a-almost got wiped out when the public r-revolted," Elsa explained (rather nonchalantly, Anna thought).

"How did the public find out about the baby? And hey, babies can't walk anyway!"

"I am not g-going to sit here and inform you of Arendelle's h-history all day long," Elsa teased, thinking that it was her sister's own fault she didn't know these things. "Okay, a servant stole the child a-and escaped out of the castle w-with her. And the public c-calmed down once that tyrant k-king had been assassinated. That baby t-took the throne when she came of a-age. And that's how our f-family's bloodline is still on the throne. Enough i-info dump now?" She smiled at Anna and then went back to looking at the journal. _At least Mom and Dad cared about me enough not to want to literally get rid of me. That's nice to know anyways. _Elsa decided she would concentrate on that one good thing no matter what she and Anna found in the journal.

* * *

Anna stuck out her tongue at Elsa and scooted closer to her so she could read the journal with her. "You're a stinker, Elsa. And I love you."

_I love you too, Anna. It makes me feel happy that Anna just treats me like a…normal sister. 'Stinker' and 'I love you' in the same breath…very Anna-ish. _Elsa smiled and went on reading. "I think I f-found it…" she said a moment later after turning the page. "Ow!" _That stings. I forgot how much I hated paper cuts._

"What now?" Anna asked.

"Paper cut," Elsa said sheepishly.

"Let me see it." Anna took Elsa's hand and looked at her finger. "You got a really icky one…"

"Thanks for telling me," Elsa deadpanned. "I think I c-can tell that myself-it hurts!" She clenched her hand into a fist and jerked it away from her sister. "Anna…stupid Hans wasn't l-lying," she whispered, pointing at the page in the journal. _That entry is what Hans said verbatim. He just didn't add the last part… 'Elsa must be kept safe at all costs. She has a good head on her shoulders, and could potentially be a very savvy ruler for Arendelle when she grows up. It's too bad she has that physical anomaly of hers; it's made her too dangerous…'_

Anna peeked over Elsa's shoulder and read the entry. "At least Dad acknowledged that you were smart?" she offered hesitantly. _So Dad kept her as Crown Princess Elsa instead of making that title mine-which I'm glad I didn't have-because he knew she was smart. At least he gave Elsa a LITTLE credit, right?_

Elsa abruptly shut the journal. "You know what; I don't w-want to read this anymore. It's just m-making me stuck in the past…I want t-to at least _try_ to move on…okay?" _At least Dad gave me credit that I had the brains to take care of Arendelle. That's good. I'm not going to worry about this anymore._ She stuffed the journal back in the drawer and stood up. "I'm going to go t-take care of that paper cut."

Anna followed Elsa down the hall to her room.

* * *

"Anna, it's _fine_; I can take c-care of it myself," Elsa said, frowning as Anna insisted on helping Elsa take care of her finger._ But it IS kind of nice that Anna wants to take care of someone like me. I was never there for Anna when _she_ cut her finger when she was little…but she's not mad at me…_ "You're…_helping_ me…" she added in a quiet voice.

"There. All better," Anna announced a moment later. "Elsa, why wouldn't I help you? Stop sounding so incredulous about it."

Elsa held her finger tightly with her other hand and smiled a bit at Anna. _Thanks, Anna. My stupid finger is no big deal, but you not hating me or being mad at me is. _Something suddenly popped into Elsa's head, "I forgot; we were supposed to go t-to the castle gardens with Rapunzel! There's a c-couple things I have t-to do first…you go on out there a-and tell them I w-will be coming shortly." Her expression suddenly grew animated-she couldn't _wait_ to do a few things.

"Oh yeah! Elsa, I forgot something too! Can I get Kristoff a new sled? Pretty please? I kind of sort of crashed his when we nearly fell off a cliff and there were wolves and well…Yeah. A sled, please?" Anna asked.

Elsa's eyes grew big. _What on earth was Anna doing when she came to find me at the ice palace?! _Then she thought, _Kristoff helped SAVE Anna…and me too, indirectly. I should reward him somehow. _"Okay, you can buy a sled. But don't give it t-to him yet. I have to d-do something first."

"Awesome! See you in the garden in a few minutes!"

Elsa smiled and shook her head as Anna took off. _I love you, Anna. You're silly and you make me happy._

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Elsa reread the things she had written up. _Okay, cool. Kristoff will be the Official Arendelle Ice Master and Deliverer. I am cutting off business with Weselton-I am so glad I have a solid reason to do that now. And I'm sending Hans back to the Southern Isles in disgrace. I can't…kill him, even if a small bit of me wants to._ She quickly changed into her ice-dress; right now she just wanted the small sense of strength it gave her inside. Elsa smiled at herself in front of the mirror. _That's you, Elsa. You might still be that scared little girl inside sometimes, but that does _not_ have to define you. So there._ She lifted her chin, rolled her documents in one hand, and strode out the door.

* * *

Elsa met Gerda halfway down the stairs. "Please tell Kai to make sure the…d-dungeon walls I destroyed are r-repaired," she said.

"What of those broken shackles? Shall we dispose of them too, Queen Elsa?"

Elsa thought for a moment, wanting to do the right thing. _If I did lose control for some reason, they could still contain me for a short time…I shouldn't have those destroyed, no matter how much I want to. _"Just leave them where they l-lie, please," she decided.

"Very well…Miss Elsa, your ice-dress is beautiful, but don't you think it might be a bit…much?" Gerda asked carefully, not wanting to hurt Elsa's feelings.

"What's wrong with it?" Elsa asked, looking down at herself.

"No, Queen Elsa, there's nothing wrong with it," Gerda said quickly. "It's just a bit revealing, that's all…"

"I don't wanna change," Elsa blurted without thinking how childish it might sound. _It's just my shoulders…Anna's dress she was wearing at the coronation showed her shoulders. What's the big deal about that? Okay, and I'm kind of showing my leg. That's what's wrong. But it's _my_ dress…I made it. I'm not going to act like an idiot or anything…_ "I think I'd like t-to just keep my dress, thanks," she said finally.

"Miss Elsa, you can't just…"

"What?" Elsa asked.

"Never mind. Just be careful, all right?"

Elsa looked a bit confused for a moment, but then she just smiled and shrugged. "Okay." She went on her way downstairs, figuring if someone gave her grief about her dress, she would just ignore them. She _loved_ that dress. Too bad if someone made a big stink about it. _A dress made of ice isn't going to hurt anyone. It's something nice my powers can make, and I want to concentrate on that._

* * *

Elsa made her way to the door leading down to the dungeon. _Okay, Elsa. You don't have to go down there at all. Just hand your documents to the guard and that's it. You can do it. _She went up to the guard at the door and handed him the papers she was holding. "Please have Prince Hans sent d-down to the dock. He is being s-sent back to his home country. Escort the D-Duke of Weas-Weselton and his g-guards to their ship as well, please."

The guard nodded in assent. "As you wish, Queen Elsa."

Satisfied her work was done, Elsa happily went outside to the castle gardens to have some much overdue fun with her sister and cousin.

**A/N: 'Scuse Elsa's little Arendellian history lesson.:P Please keep in mind I made up anything that has to do with Arendelle's government; I apologize if anything is totally stupid. I'd love opinions, though.:)**

**THERE WILL BE ONE MORE CHAPTER!:) Just so Elsa can have her happy ending without business and whatever else bothering her.:)**

**Last chapter coming soon!:)**

**P.S. I have officially decided that there will be a direct sequel to 'Secret Passages' since I have a solid idea.:) It will be wayyy shorter than this story, but it'll still be a multi-chap. 'Kay?:)**


	35. A Happy Ending for Elsa-Part I

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-I agree. Hans is a master at mind games, and Elsa shouldn't talk to him anymore. Yes, Olaf likes chocolate...lol. XD I figured Anna would probably forget something important like that, so...yeah.:P**

**jr74-Thank you!:) I'm glad you're looking forward to the sequel:)**

**Danazia Gray-Yes, insulting Anna makes Elsa mad.:P More mad than if someone insults Elsa herself...**

**AnnaElsahaters-Um, I don't get the point of your review at all. Sorry!:P**

**minerbuilder12-Lol:) Glad you're looking forward to the sequel.:)**

**FanGirl Jen-Glad you're looking forward to the sequel and this chapter, too:)**

**despicme95-I don't know how to 'explain' my story...sorry if it doesn't explain itself well enough.:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Thanks for the review, sis.:) Yes Hans is a pompous jerk. Elsa should have frozen more than just his feet.:P**

**Fatten Saad-Lol, Elsa SHOULD have frozen more than just Hans's feet.:P P.S. I don't think that really 'fits' with what I'm trying to do with this chapter, since I'm just trying to give Elsa the happy ending she deserves.:) BUT...I will make sure to include that in the sequel. It'll fit perfectly in that.;)**

**On to the story!:) {Um, THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. There will be a short(er) 'epilogue' chapter after this, because it was going to be WAY too long otherwise. So, I'm sorry to anyone that was looking forward to reading the very end of 'Secret Passages.' I promise I'm not fibbing this time-the next chapter WILL be the last one! It's done, and I'll share it in a couple days.:)}**

Elsa found her sister in the castle gardens easily-Anna was being noisy. Elsa watched as Anna chased Rapunzel around the gardens while Eugene sat on a bench looking amused. Taking a deep breath, Elsa closed her eyes, and an instant later, a large section of the gardens were covered in snow. _I did it! And I didn't…make way more snow than I wanted to, either._

Anna abruptly stopped running and went over to Elsa. "It's so pretty, Elsa," she whispered in her sister's ear. "And don't be nervous-I know you aren't going to lose control. You're just gonna show us what you can do. And you look pretty in that ice-dress you made."

Elsa smiled and held out her hands; then dropped them back to her sides a moment later. _What if I mess up? Actually…I know I won't. Anna is with me. _"What should I do?" she asked quietly.

"How about we just start with a snowball fight?" Anna suggested. "That way you can either just make snowballs by hand or magic 'em into existence if you like. Whatever you're comfortable with." She gave Elsa an encouraging smile before adding, "Remember you _did_ make that super amazing ice palace on the North Mountain."

"I did, didn't I?" Elsa's expression brightened. She suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to do. Elsa slowly walked to the center of the garden before painstakingly focusing on her hands as she created a miniature version of her ice palace. _Running away to live there wasn't a good choice, but it's still my dream building. I made it to claim freedom…freedom to be _me_, but I wasn't free when I built that. I never could have been completely happy there without Anna. Pseudo-happiness, that's what that was. But I was happier in isolation free to be me than isolation locked in my room._

_ A bigger prison. In my mind, _Elsa thought._ That's all running off to the North Mountain did. But I still love that ice palace. It's the _real_ version of something that depressed girl from before imagined in her dreams. Something she never thought could happen in 'miserable reality'. But it did. There's only one thing missing that would make that dream complete. Maybe, just maybe…_ Elsa gave her miniature ice palace a pensive look before running over to Anna.

"Will you come t-to the ice palace with me?" Elsa asked, her clasped hands betraying her nervousness that Anna would say no.

Anna hugged Elsa so tightly she was gasping for breath. "Of course I will! We could have a picnic up there and slide down those twisting staircase banisters and-"

Rapunzel tapped Eugene on the shoulder and nodded that they should go. "They need sister time," she mouthed. The two of them tiptoed away, leaving Elsa and Anna alone in the castle gardens.

"You'll really come?" Elsa whispered. _Anna's really going to go up there with me!_

"Of course! Why wouldn't I? Maybe you can give me a tour of your ice palace, too," Anna replied.

"My d-dream…complete," Elsa mumbled, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. _If someone told sixteen-year-old me I would actually make that ice building from my dreams and I'd really get to play in it with Anna, I would NEVER have believed that person. Sixteen-year-old Elsa thought it was just an impossible childish fantasy…_

"Dream? What dream, Elsa?" Anna asked in confusion. "Please don't cry…no wait, don't force yourself to not cry, I just mean I want you to be happy," she corrected, not wanting Elsa to think she had to lock all her feelings inside again.

Elsa pulled herself away from Anna and went to stand next to the miniature ice palace. "That" she pointed at her miniature creation "is something I c-could only dream of before…You just t-told me you'd _go to my ice palace _with me. You've accepted me f-for _me_. You can't understand how m-much the fact that you w-want to go to my dream building with m-me means to me. Or the fact th-that the ice palace even exists in the f-first place. It's something sixteen-year-old me c-could barely think up in h-her wildest dreams…it was something I tried t-to concentrate on _so much_…to escape horrid r-reality and go to this s-seemingly unfeasible happy place that c-could never truly exist…" Elsa's voice trailed off as Anna hugged her close. _But it's real. It's really real. I'm not completely out of control-I mean, I still make mistakes, but I can actually fix them now. And Anna is right here, and she's hugging _me_._

"No, Elsa. It _does_ exist. It has _always_ existed, in a way. You imagined it years ago. I would have accepted you for you and wanted to go see your creation with you then, too. Just…neither of us knew what the other would be like, I guess. I knew you were upset and scared for some reason, but I had no idea why. And you were so…"

"Just say it. Messed up," Elsa muttered. _It's not my powers that were 'messed up' about me; it was…my mind…I was so depressed I got suicidal for goodness sakes. That isn't me anymore. It's not; it's not. I have Anna with me. I am not messed up. I am fine. Whatever things I still have trouble with are going to go away. Anna will help me…I know she will._

"-so convinced you weren't worth caring about you never let yourself actually feel better inside and realize your goofy little sister still cared about you lots," Anna finished. "Elsa, you are not messed up. You NEVER were," she added firmly.

_Maybe not now, but I was before._ Elsa just stood still and didn't say anything.

"And oh, have I got the perfect-est idea! You have GOT to do a demonstration of your powers for our public! That would show everyone how awesome your powers can be, and I bet everyone would love it! You could do it later this afternoon, and we'll go up to your epic awesome ice palace tomorrow. How's that?"

Elsa chewed on a fingernail nervously. _Anna has a point…if I could make something nice-like an ice skating rink!-maybe it would help my public image some. It's just…what if I completely mess up or something?_ "Maybe…" she answered finally.

"Awesome! I gotta go take care of some stuff, and I'll see you in the entrance hall in a couple hours, 'kay?" Without waiting for an answer, Anna gave Elsa another hug before running off to do who knows what.

* * *

Elsa stayed behind in the gardens, wondering just what Anna had gotten her to half-agree to. And who knew what Anna was doing, although Elsa was fairly certain she was probably going to run off and get a guard or someone to go get a sled for Kristoff with her. She turned back to her miniature ice palace and plopped down in the snow next to it. _I am free. I am home. I thought the North Mountain was going to be my home where I'd finally be free, but it's not. _This_ is my home. The castle of Arendelle with my baby sister who doesn't hate me and still loves me._

_ Thank you, Anna._

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa hopped to her feet and headed back towards the castle. She saw two guards taking Hans down the main entrance steps-presumably to the ship that would take him back to the Southern Isles-and suddenly decided she wanted to say something to him. _He's not making me all upset again. So there._ Elsa marched right up in front of him and just said, "You took m-my father's quote out of c-context. I checked for myself." Then she flicked her cape behind her and strode inside the castle, ignoring the angry and incredulous look Hans was giving her.

_I have said my piece._

A tiny bit of Elsa felt pleased when she heard Hans calling her awful names and then the unmistakable sound of a sharp slap. _Elsa, that's mean. You stop feeling happy that creep is getting slapped, even if he does deserve it. _Elsa shook her head and decided to just do her best to forget about Hans entirely. He was going back to the Southern Isles, and hopefully she would never have to see him again. Elsa nodded to herself and smiled, as if trying to convince herself that it was true. She paused in the entrance hall to ask Gerda, "Where did Anna go?"

"Your sister found out about your 'Official Ice Master and Deliverer' title for Kristoff, and she ran off to buy a sled, Queen Elsa," Gerda said. "And she said to tell you _not_ to follow her."

Elsa's smile abruptly disappeared. "Is Anna…mad at m-me for something? What did I do?" _Why else would Anna not want me to follow her? Hey, wait a minute…Anna has literally spent nearly every minute since she helped me thaw everything right by my side. I should let her go off and do whatever social butterflies like Anna like to do. Maybe Anna said not to follow her because she knew I wouldn't like being around a ton of people and she didn't want me to feel like I had to go along. Yeah. That's what it is. _Elsa's expression brightened, and she just clasped her hands behind her back before saying, "Never mind…I d-don't think Anna would have spent s-so much time with me if she was mad."

"If you ask me, I think Princess Anna's request might have to do with two things: one, she didn't want you to feel obligated to come along; and two, I am quite certain she was going to see that ice harvester, Kristoff," Gerda told her.

Elsa giggled. "Anna's a stinker! Just…do you think Kristoff is s-safe for my sister to hang around w-with? I want her to have _lots_ of f-friends outside the castle….s-since it's my fault she c-couldn't socialize with a-anyone for so long…but I d-don't want her hanging around w-with untrustworthy people…" her voice trailed off. _Untrustworthy people like Prince Creep. I know Kristoff is nice, but does he really care about Anna herself or does he just like her title? My hunch tells me he's genuine, though…_

"Miss Elsa, all those years were not your fault. You never did anything to deserve being locked in your room. _Nothing_," Gerda said firmly.

"Eight-year-old me _hurt my sister_!" Elsa exclaimed. _That memory is never going to stop hurting me inside. And I hurt her again and she literally froze to death so, so recently…_

"It was an accident, Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" Gerda replied, calling Elsa by her full title to catch her attention better. "An _accident, _nothing more. And about Kristoff, he _must_ be genuine or he would not have brought the princess back to the castle and been willing to leave her behind. I don't think you need worry about him."

_I know it was an accident, but…_ Elsa frowned a bit, but she didn't say anything more about it. "Thank you, Gerda," she said finally. "Do you think…a demonstration i-in the courtyard is a s-stupid idea?"

"A demonstration of your powers in the courtyard? I think that is a very good idea."

Elsa smiled. _I'm going to do it. If Anna is with me, I know I can do it properly._

* * *

Elsa decided she would go practice in her room until Anna came back. _If I can stay in control in that room that's all full of bad memories by myself, I can stay in control in the courtyard with Anna, right? _With this logic, Elsa ran upstairs and down the hall into her room, shutting the door but not locking it. _Now…what first?_

Elsa smiled and stamped her foot, making a smooth sheet of ice spread all over the floor. She just stared in surprise that she had made exactly what she wanted on her first attempt. _It just…happened! I made exactly what I wanted. No more, no less._ Elsa laughed in delight and began skating back and forth as she decorated her room's walls with icy snowflakes. _It's high time this place had something pretty I made in it instead of…of creepy icicles hanging off the ceiling and whatever else. _"MY signature snowflake belongs in here!" she exclaimed a moment later. "_I _belong in here-to work and sleep! Not to live in here! Someone's bedroom is supposed to be a…a happy place of retreat! Not a prison! So _there_!" Elsa suddenly realized she was shouting, not stuttering, and not sure why she was saying those things in the first place.

_Why am I shouting all those things? Who am I mad at? Wait a minute…_ Elsa decided she knew exactly who she was mad at.

Two people she still genuinely loved.

Two people she still felt a bit guilty about their deaths, even though deep inside she knew she wouldn't have been able to change the outcome.

Two people she still wished had been willing to love and accept her just like she was.

Elsa sat down at her desk and began writing as fast as she could.

* * *

A while later, Elsa sighed and grabbed the paper she had been writing on before tiptoeing out of her room to where that portrait of her parents hung. She slowly pulled the thin black curtain aside and just gazed at the picture for a minute. _Why did I come here? This is silly. Why am I going to talk to a picture?_

_ Because you know Anna would tell you to do this. It'll help. Help make me genuinely let certain things go. The _right_ things this time, and the right way. Not by running away to the North Mountain._ Elsa bit her lip and started reciting the words she had written on that paper, not even really looking at it. She knew exactly what she had written down.

"Dear Mom and Dad, this is twenty-one-year-old Elsa talking here, your oldest daughter, former Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle. I'm sorry I could never be the perfect normal daughter you wanted, but that isn't me. I'm _not_ normal. I never will be. But I _can_ control what makes me abnormal and different now. Does that mean you'd…like me better n-now, or would you punish m-me for letting all of Arendelle f-find out about my powers?" Elsa paused in an effort to calm herself down, realizing she was starting to stutter again. _Just finish your little speech, Elsa. You can do it._

"I don't know…Papa, the key t-to controlling it is just _love_, but I have t-to be happy at the same time. Why c-couldn't you have helped me instead of…of locking m-me away from the world? I loved Anna f-for _so long_, but it didn't help a-any. I was too t-terrified…I know _Anna_ loved me too, but…I wouldn't l-let her get close enough to show me… It took Anna s-sacrificing herself for stupid m-me to show me how t-to control it. You didn't m-mean to, but you hurt m-me inside for ten years, a-and by then I felt I c-couldn't do anything but what I'd b-been taught.

"'Conceal, don't feel' is _wrong_. I know it is. I d-don't know if I'll ever be able t-to dump that mindset entirely, but I c-can't live like that anymore. Please f-forgive me…I know I am NOT p-perfect, and I've m-made horrible mistakes, but you messed up too. You messed _me_ up inside. Locking a little g-girl in her room for a d-decade wasn't necessarily wrong c-considering the circumstances, but k-keeping that little girl from even t-talking to her little sister th-through the door was _definitely_ wrong. I think I w-would have been at least m-mostly okay if I'd j-just had that. I'm so glad m-my sweet baby sister was the regular l-little girl you wanted, even if I n-never was. You should be p-proud of her. Did you know Anna s-saved Arendelle all on her own? And she h-helped fix me in the process.

"I wish you would h-have just held me and given eight-year-old m-me a hug. I wish you had t-told me everything would be f-fine eventually. I wish you'd t-told me you s-still cared about m-me even if I was m-messed up. I wish you'd assured me I w-was perfectly fine just the w-way I was. I wish you'd j-just…_accepted_ me…a-and treated me like a n-normal girl…not l-like a…a…defective _thing_ that's n-not quite human…something you dealt w-with only because I c-couldn't be gotten rid of. I am not defective! I'm d-different, and I'm abnormal, and a l-lot of other things, but I'm _not_ defective. I want t-to say thank you f-for giving me credit for having the s-smarts to take c-care of Arendelle. I want to say thank y-you for not…_disposing_ of m-me, even if you didn't approve of m-me. I'm grateful f-for those things.

"I will not be c-coming here again, so p-please listen up…I don't c-care what you thought of me-I s-still love you. The past is in the p-past. I'm going to try to l-let it go. I forgive you f-for _everything_. Absolutely everything. I hope y-you can forgive _me_ f-for the bad things I d-did too. I promise I w-will do my absolute b-best to be a g-good monarch for Arendelle. I may n-not be the perfect daughter y-you wanted, but I'll still try t-to make you proud of m-me, at least as queen. And lastly…I'm sorry I s-sound funny when I talk n-now. I stutter a l-lot of the t-time when I try to talk, but I'm g-going to try to fix it. Your daughter, Elsa of Arendelle."

* * *

Elsa jumped when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. _Oh, it's just Anna. Good. Wait a minute…_ "Anna, how much of that d-did you hear?" she asked, turning her tear-streaked face to Anna.

"From when you said 'conceal, don't feel' was wrong. Which is true." Anna gently brushed Elsa's tears away and hugged her close. "I'm so proud of you!" _I know it couldn't have been easy for Elsa to come say all that. But she did anyway._

Elsa couldn't remember the last time _anyone_ had said they were proud of her. No one ever told her that. The best she ever got was 'That's good, but you need to try harder' or something else along those lines. Okay, she received 'Good job' on her lessons often when she was little. But no one _ever_ told her they were proud of her. _Anna said she was proud of me. Proud of _me_. Except…why? I don't even understand._ Happy tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks, and she didn't try to wipe them away. She just hugged Anna back.

As if she were reading Elsa's mind, Anna said, "I'm proud of you for saying all that. I know it couldn't have been easy to get that all out, but you did. And guess what? _I'll_ do all those things for you. I will give you lots of hugs. Everything IS fine. I will always care about you, but not 'even if you're messed up', because you aren't. I will always assure you you're perfectly fine just the way you are-'cause you _are_." _Wait a minute…those are the same things Elsa said she would do for a young girl who was terminally ill or disabled or whatever a couple years ago. I knew those were things Elsa wished someone would do for her! She just outright said so._ "And I will always accept you and treat you like a normal girl…although Elsa?"

"What?" Elsa asked softly. _Anna literally just erased years of me hurting inside with what she said. She's giving me everything I wished for for so long…Anna, why are you doing that for me? I appreciate it so, so much, but…_

"I think normal is overrated. Who decides what 'normal' is? I mean, EVERYONE is their own normal, so that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Anyhow, I'll always accept you as just plain _Elsa_, my super awesome and sweet big sister with the amazing ice powers. I think that's what you meant. Not 'normal girl', because there's no such thing. Like if you talked to every girl in Arendelle close to our ages, I think you would get a zillion definitions of 'normal' because everyone is different. Anyhow…yeah! I love you, Elsa. You should be proud of _yourself_ for making that little speech thing." Anna pulled away from Elsa, but still held her hands. A moment later, Anna started giggling.

Elsa just looked puzzled. "What's so funny?" _Anna just told me I'm my own normal…Marshmallow said that, too…_

Anna released Elsa's hands and pointed at her sister's cheek. "I just noticed you have freckles on your face! Really light, almost invisible ones, but freckles all the same. I thought I was the only one with freckles…it's just funny, I don't know why…"

Elsa had known she had light freckles dusting her cheeks, but she hadn't particularly paid much attention to the fact. They were just there, the same way she had big blue eyes, platinum hair, and extremely fair skin. "Um, Anna? Why are my freckles funny?" she asked.

"They make you look younger or something, I dunno. But mostly it's just funny 'cause I have freckles too, so we kind of match. Except mine are way more obvious than yours," Anna said.

_Great. So not only am I barely old enough to rule Arendelle in my own right anyway, I don't even look twenty-one? Oh well. If that's one of the bad things about me, I'm not going to worry about it. _Elsa shrugged. "If the Snow Queen looks l-like she's about twelve, oh well," she quipped, giving Anna a lopsided smile. "So did you g-give Kristoff his sled?"

Anna started bouncing on her toes. "Yeah, and I kissed him, too!" she blurted. "Elsa, he's _so_ nice! You know what else he told me? He said your ice was amazing and that I should be honored to be related to you. He _loves_ ice…y'know since he's an ice harvester and stuff…Elsa? Elsa, did you hear me?"

"You _kissed_ him?!" Elsa asked, her face turning bright red, thinking she couldn't believe she was talking about the subject of _kissing_ with her sister.

"Yeah! It was nice, but kind of weird. Like I felt tingly all over, and, well, yeah. I think he's my _real_ true love. Kristoff is loads better than Prince Creep, and he's actually genuine, and-"

"ANNA!" Elsa interrupted. _Anna went and kissed someone?! She shouldn't do that… _"Why on earth d-did you _kiss_ him? Or wait a second…did he kiss you w-without asking first? I'll freeze him f-for that!" She started for the door, but Anna grabbed her arm.

"No, Elsa, he asked first. I said yes, and I kissed him on the cheek before-"

Elsa's eyes grew big. "You just went and did it y-yourself first?! Now he'll think i-it's okay to kiss you all the t-time or something. And it's NOT! Anna, please l-listen to me. You can h-hang out with Kristoff if you w-want to, but _no_ kissing. Or hugging. Or any…romantic stuff of any k-kind. Okay?" _Selfishly speaking, I don't want to lose Anna again; and objectively speaking, Anna shouldn't get involved with someone so quickly like that…_

Anna stuck out her tongue. "Stinker." _And Elsa's bossy! Hmph. But…Elsa's my big sister. She's supposed to be bossy. The simple fact that she's being bossy means she's at least mostly happy. That's good, anyways. _She changed the subject by saying, "Are you ready to go downstairs? I told lots of people in the marketplace about the demonstration, and said 'pass it on'. I can't wait! It's gonna be awesome, and everyone's going to love you!"

Elsa didn't say anything for a long moment as she bit her lip. _I'm scared. What if I mess up? But…I should do this. I should be okay as long as Anna helps me._ "I think I'm…ready," she said finally.

* * *

A few minutes later, Elsa and Anna stood in the main entrance hall to the castle. Elsa suddenly planted her feet in one spot right in front of the doors and refused to go any farther. "Anna, I c-can't do this! I'm going to m-mess up again and lose c-control or something. I'll r-ruin my reputation even further…please…j-just go outside and tell everyone I'm s-sick or something…besides, nobody w-wants to see more ice! I just f-froze everything, and…" Elsa's voice trailed off. _Nobody is going to want to see what I can do…_

Anna frowned. "Elsa, I hear lots of people outside calling for _you_! They will love you! You'll be fine."

"They probably w-want to get r-rid of me," Elsa muttered pessimistically. _Come on, Elsa, even you know that's not true. Most everyone was happy to see you when you walked back to the castle with Anna after you thawed everything._

Anna ignored this comment. "Come on, Elsa, everything will be fine. You know the key to controlling your powers now. You won't mess up."

"But what i-if I do? What if it gets out of c-control again?" Elsa asked._ I don't know what I would do if I lost control again…_

"You won't, Elsa. I know you won't. Besides, even if it did, I'd stay right by your side and help you fix it, no matter what. Love will thaw, remember?" Anna reached to give her sister a hug.

Elsa smiled a bit and hugged Anna back. _Thank you, Anna. _"I remember…it's just…Anna, I still loved y-you all that time in the p-past. Why couldn't I c-control it before?" _I know it had something to do with me being terrified all the time, but still…_

"I don't know, Elsa. But I think 'cause you were so scared, it outweighed the positive emotion-love," Anna replied. "That matches with what I heard you say in part of your little speech thing you made upstairs in front of the portrait, too…"

Elsa suddenly understood _exactly _what the trolls meant when they had said "Fear will be your enemy" when she was eight. _It was _my_ fear, not others'. I misread that statement, just like Mom and Dad did… _"Stupid, cryptic explanation," Elsa muttered in disgust. Maybe if that troll had explained things a bit more clearly, she and Anna wouldn't have had that rift between them for so long in the first place. She would have known the key to controlling her powers and wouldn't have been scared to be around Anna; and despite Anna's altered memories, Elsa could have explained what happened to her sister and everything would have been like it was before. _Except, _Elsa thought, _I would have been doubly careful whenever I played with Anna. _Elsa glanced at Anna's puzzled face and realized she thought Elsa must have meant her explanation was stupid and cryptic. "No, n-no, Anna, not _your_ explanation. When our parents t-took us to the trolls a-after the accident when we were little, they s-said 'fear will be your enemy.' The p-picture-thing he showed us was a-an older version of m-me being chased by other people, s-so I thought that meant f-fear from other people…that obviously w-was wrong. It was _my _fear. Fear is the o-opposite of love. That's why fear m-makes me out of control, while l-love leaves me in p-perfect control."

Anna huffed in annoyance. "Those trolls gave an annoyingly cryptic response when Kristoff took me there after you…accidentally froze my heart, too. 'Only an act of true love will thaw a frozen heart.' That could have been ANYTHING! Except, obviously, anything regarding stupid con artists like a certain Prince Creep we all know and hate. Although the trolls are kind of cute, don't you think? Just…a little dumb." She paused before adding, "You _never_ have to live in fear like that again. I'm right here for you, and I always will be."

_Any act of true love that Anna performed herself,_ Elsa thought. _Which ended up being sacrificing herself for me. I didn't deserve that. Not after I shut her out for so long. Anna's just…too much. She cares unconditionally, evidently_. Elsa had been looking down at the floor after Anna mentioned the whole 'freezing heart' thing, but she immediately stared back at her sister when she heard Anna say the part about 'stupid con artists'. "I hate Hans. I don't w-want to talk about him."

"That's fine. I don't blame you, Elsa." Anna smiled and held out her hand, inviting her sister to hold it. "Come on, Elsa. I've got your back if you do mess up, but I'm not going to need to. I've got faith in you."

"You have faith i-in the person that l-literally froze you. Anna, you're c-crazy. And always loyal t-to the end," Elsa said softly. _I think Anna trusts people too much. Trust is a good thing, but you can't go and trust people _all_ the time. They let you down. I suppose someone you love is someone you trust…or else it should be. The two go together. You can't trust someone you love when they repeatedly let you down, but you can love them despite it. Anna shouldn't trust me like that. I don't deserve her trust…_

"What else are sisters for?" Anna took Elsa's hand herself, since Elsa didn't seem to be taking the hint to hold her hand.

Elsa jumped a bit at the unexpected contact, but she didn't pull away. "Thank you, Anna. Let's go. I think I can do this." _I can do this. Anna's with me. And I am the Snow Queen. Ice and snow are my elements…well, _figurative_ elements, since water in any state is a compound, not an element…good grief, Elsa, who cares?! Go outside and wow your public and go ice skating with your little sister._ "I'm ready."

* * *

Elsa gripped Anna's hand tightly as the two of them stepped outside. "I'm scared, Anna," Elsa whispered. "Too many people…"

"Elsa, look. They're all clapping for you. You're gonna be fine, Snow Queen Elsa of Arendelle! Show your public what you've got! And if you start feeling uncomfortable, find me in the crowd and pretend we're just playing together like when we were little. Got it?" Anna gave Elsa's hand a comforting squeeze and smiled at her. Then she ran down the castle steps, announcing her sister was coming.

Elsa just stood stock still for a moment, her fingers nervously fiddling with her dress. _Okay, Elsa, no turning back now. You can do this. Calm down. You easily made a perfect ice rink in your room. _She pressed her hands flat against her skirt, concentrating on the pleasant coolness of the ice fabric against her palms. Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath before walking down the steps herself.

Elsa paused when she reached the center of the courtyard, scanning the crowd looking for her sister._ There she is. I'm just doing this by myself with Anna. I can do this._

_ I am the Snow Queen. And she isn't a horrible…I don't know what. She's going to make something pretty this time._ Elsa's mind flitted to her ice palace on the North Mountain, and she suddenly felt almost completely relaxed. _My ice palace is perfect. What I make now is going to be perfect too. _"Are you ready?" she asked finally. _I used to ask Anna that when we were little and we played in the ballroom. _A slightly hesitant smile spread across Elsa's face as she decided _this moment_ was going to erase as much of her painful past as possible. _Please like me. I won't ruin everything again. This is the real me…is that okay? Will you accept me? Please? _Elsa needn't have worried; everyone in the courtyard was happy to see her. They weren't looking at her with contempt, like she was some defective freak or something, and they didn't look frightened of her, either.

And she had Anna back. And while she knew she wasn't as comfortable with her powers as she'd been when she was little, she was a far cry from that scared and depressed girl from just a couple days ago. _I'm much, much better. I'm not perfect, but I'm home. I'm free. For real this time._

_This is my home._ Elsa stamped her foot, and smooth blue ice as smooth as glass spread all over the courtyard. Delicate tendrils of ice swirled into decorations along the castle walls and the roof. _I just made that! And it's actually…elegant and pretty. _Elsa's sweet smile announced to everyone around her that she was _so happy_. With a sudden burst of confidence, Elsa quickly froze both courtyard fountains before putting both hands together and tossing sparkling blue ball high in the air that exploded into thousands of tiny snowflakes. _I did it! I really did it! Those fountains look pretty this time. I stayed in control. Completely!_

Elsa felt as if she were on top of the world. That scared and depressed girl from before was nowhere to be seen. _And she's not coming back. Ever._ Elsa realized this was the same feeling she had felt right after finishing her ice palace, only better, because it was for real this time; and not something she had only convinced herself was true.

* * *

A moment later, Elsa spotted Anna slipping and sliding toward her. Elsa quickly caught Anna before she fell. _Anna still can't skate. Just like when we were five and eight. I'm going to teach her._

"I like the open gates," Anna said. _I told you you could do it,_ Anna's look seemed to say.

"We are never closing them again," Elsa replied. _Never, ever. I mean, of course we'll shut the gates for safety purposes at night and stuff, but I will always let guests in if they have something they need to take care of, and I'm not staying locked away in my room anymore. And I didn't stutter when I said that!_ She glanced down at Anna's boots and quickly created a pair of ice skates.

_Elsa, you look so pleased with yourself for making those_, Anna thought. "Elsa, they're beautiful, but you know I don't ska-a...ack!"

Elsa grabbed her sister's hands and skated backwards, pulling Anna along with her. "Come on! You can do it!" She giggled in delight as Anna slipped and slid along. _I'm not going to let Anna fall. I know I won't._

Elsa just stared as a large reindeer went sliding by. _What in the world?! Oh…oh yeah, I remember seeing that reindeer with Kristoff when Anna introduced me to him._

"Look out! Reindeer coming through!" Kristoff called.

"I got it, I got it! I don't got it…" Anna said as her feet slid out from under her.

Olaf came up and pushed Anna back upright. "Glide and pivot…glide and pivot…"

Elsa laughed and pulled Anna closer to her. "Thank you for making me do this. I'm so happy," Elsa said quietly, although she was clearly excited.

Anna tried to give Elsa a hug, but only succeeded in falling instead, knocking Elsa over along with her. "I'm sorry…oops. Big oops…are you ok, Elsa?" Anna asked.

"I've never been better." Elsa didn't know why she wasn't embarrassed to have fallen right on her backside in front of a ton of people, but she wasn't. She scrambled to her feet with ease, the slippery ice not affecting her balance in the least. "Try again?" _That stupid adage 'if at first you don't succeed, try, try again'…Maybe it is true. I tried for so long to control it…failure for thirteen years…but no more! I have Anna back now, and I know the key to controlling my powers now._

_ I am the Snow Queen._

* * *

Late that night, Elsa ran silent as a cat down the hallway to Anna's room. She glanced behind her to see frosty footprints all down the hall, glistening in the moonlight. _I should have known I wouldn't be able to get through the night by myself with no bad dreams…Anna told me I could come to her room if I needed to… _"But I don't want t-to bother her," she whispered. Elsa bit her lip, wondering whether she should knock on that door or not. _Anna has told me the truth about everything else, so I know she didn't just say I could come here simply to make me feel better. Elsa, just knock._

_ Why aren't I knocking?_

_ You don't know how. _"Stupid, you just take y-your fist and knock," Elsa muttered to herself.

Elsa finally just closed her eyes and knocked on her sister's door for the first time. To her surprise, the door opened almost immediately.

"I knew you would come, so I stayed up waiting for you," Anna said, pulling her sister into her room. "I didn't want you to come here and knock and then get upset 'cause I didn't open the door 'cause I was sleeping." _I knew it wasn't a good idea for Elsa to try to sleep by herself in her own room, but she wanted to try… _She sat Elsa down on one side of the bed; then plopped down next to her. "Now you talk. I'm listening. And you can just stay in here too if you want to."

"I froze you, and y-you didn't thaw….a-and then everyone w-wanted to get r-rid of me, a-and I c-couldn't get those shackles off, a-and…just never m-mind…" Elsa's shaky voice wouldn't let her say anything more. She could still feel herself being dragged across the courtyard in that awful dream, her hands bound, and completely helpless to escape for some reason. And Anna wasn't there to save her that time…she was dead because of what Elsa had done. _I was happy earlier. Why did I still have an awful nightmare? Anna's here. She's real. I'm not chained up again. Anna's alive._ Elsa looked down at her hands resting in her lap and wished she could take those gloves off, but she didn't dare. Not if she was going to try to get back to sleep.

* * *

Anna just hugged Elsa tightly, not caring that her sister was extremely cold to the touch at the moment. "It wasn't real, Elsa. I'm right here, perfectly fine. And no one wants to get rid of you. Think about all the fun we had skating in the courtyard. You were so happy, remember?" She frowned when she realized Elsa was shaking all over, as if she were trying not to cry. "Elsa, let your feelings out. Go ahead and cry if you need to," Anna said quietly. "It's all right."

"I m-might hurt you," was Elsa's whispered response. _I can't cry with Anna hugging me like this. What if…_

Anna pulled her sister away from her, keeping her hands resting on her shoulders. "You're already crying," she said simply. "And you aren't hurting me. So let the rest of the upset-ness out. You'll feel better."

Elsa hesitantly hugged Anna herself and let the tears fall. _Anna's alive, and I'm okay. We're going to be fine. _"You're alive…you're alive," Elsa repeated.

"Of course I am," Anna replied. She gently stroked Elsa's hair, hoping it would help her sister calm down.

"Mama d-did that when I w-was really l-little…" Elsa whispered into Anna's shoulder. _Before she and Papa thought I was too much of a…a defective freak to love or care about…I can't even remember if Anna was born yet then or not, so I must have been really, really young-no older than three and a half or so…_

_Elsa sounds like she's really little right this second, _Anna thought. "How old were you, Elsa?" _So Mom, at least, DID care about Elsa when she was little…when did that stop? The accident? And me and Elsa-Elsa and I?-should talk about that, but I don't want to make her upset, either._

"No older than three a-and a half, I don't think…" Elsa's voice didn't hold an ounce of bitterness in it-she had let _those_ feelings out with her speech at the portrait. Now she just sounded sad and a bit plaintive and wistful.

"You mean they pretty much just quit loving and caring about you like they should have around when I was born?" Anna asked. "That means you were still practically a _baby_! That's stupid and so not fair it's not even funny!"

Elsa's teary blue eyes just gazed at Anna for a moment. _But _Anna_ loves and cares about me. I don't need to be upset my parents didn't really like or approve of me. _"It's okay, Anna. I'm fine now. That happened i-in the past…it can't hurt m-me anymore. Well, at least n-not _too_ much…" Elsa gave her sister a slightly rueful smile, figuring that yes, the past was still going to hurt sometimes, but it didn't have to define her anymore. _I'm not going to let it. The past is in the past. That 'perfect girl' _is_ gone…she was never there in the first place, and that girl trying to hide part of who she was behind locked doors and gloves and whatever else isn't me either. Those fears that once controlled me _can't_ get to me at all. I have Anna with me now._

Elsa made a surprised sound when Anna pulled her onto her lap. "What was that for?"

"Mom and Dad shouda done it for you before when you were little. So I'm going to do it now. I don't care if you _are_ twenty-one; you never had a real childhood in my opinion. So right now you're a little girl and I'm going to hold you. _I _love and care about you, even if Mom and Dad didn't. I think they loved and cared about _me_ enough, but you, Elsa…never you. That's not right. So…I'm gonna fix that." Anna held her big sister in her arms, not caring she was treating Elsa like she was five. That was kind of the point anyways, right?

* * *

Elsa snuggled closer to Anna, feeling perfectly contented. She felt _safe_ for once. There was no one making her feel sub par and inadequate; there was no one trying to put her in the dungeon; there was no one trying to kill her, like in the ice palace. _Ironic…I should be the one taking care of Anna since she's my baby sister, but she's taking care of me. I'm the one with a built-in defense system, not her…but she's protecting _me."Anna loves me," she whispered to herself. A second later, the gloves Elsa was wearing were discarded on the floor. She didn't need those right now…she was happy. Very, very happy.

Anna grinned when Elsa threw those gloves on the floor. _Elsa took them off herself! Good job, Elsa._ "Of course I love you, Elsa. I always will."

Elsa gave a happy sigh. "Thank you, Anna. Thank you, thank you, thank you…"

Five minutes later, Anna carefully tucked Elsa under the covers before climbing into bed on her half. Anna was happy to see Elsa still smiling in her sleep. _I don't think any more bad dreams will bother Elsa tonight. She looks completely happy, I think._ "Good night, Elsa," Anna whispered.

**A/N: So, like I said at the beginning, look for an epilogue chapter of sorts in a couple days.:) That WILL be the last chapter, lol. Sorry for the confusion.:P**

**Was Elsa's little speech at the portrait in character to you? Opinions please...:)**

**Last chapter/epilogue coming soon!:)**


	36. Epilogue:A Happy Ending for Elsa-Part II

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

**Karl the Wizard-I'm glad you've enjoyed it.:) I don't see Elsa holding grudges either. Glad to know Elsa's speech at the portrait was good to you.:) I agree, Anna IS awesome! She's always right there for Elsa. The sequel's coming soon:)**

**Optomistic-Cool! I'm glad Elsa's speech seemed in character to you.:) **

**WarriorQueen 14-Thank you for that info.:) I'll try to get Elsa back in character as best I can. And the Hans thing is no big deal to me...we can all hate him or love him, that's everyone's own business.:) **

**FanGirlJen-Thank you!:)**

**NrDg-I'm glad you've enjoyed my story.:) Elsa _has_ to get over her issues quickly because stupid me has a timeline that's all connected.:P (Let's just say I complicate things sometimes way. too. much.:P) So expect Elsa to be mostly a-ok by the end of the sequel.:) I know Elsa is still really dependent on Anna at the moment, but I kinda figured she would be after everything that's happened...I guess just give Elsa a bit of time.:P I mean, she _does_ know how to take care of her country, at least via writing...she's done it for three years by now.:) Elsa is just really really awful at socializing and things like that.:P**

**CieloFede-I just thought Anna would do something like that for Elsa, so she did.:) Elsa seriously needs lots of hugs...:P Since we were PMing and stuff, I'm not going to repeat the rest of my reply here again, lol.;) Thank you:)**

**Fatten Saad-Lol, yeah, she does.:P I don't think Elsa is too keen on her little sister getting involved with a man again so soon, though.:) The sequel's coming soon!:)**

**On to the very last chapter!:) Since this is the 'epilogue', so to speak, it's quite a bit shorter than the usual chapters on this story.:)**

The next morning, Elsa smiled when she realized she had made it all the way through the rest of the night without any more nightmares or icy accidents. She held her bare hands in front of her face, not quite believing that she had actually done it. _Anna helped me. I made it through the rest of the night without any gloves or bad dreams or making a mess! I really did it!_

_I am the Snow Queen._

_ And I think Anna needs her own special title like that._

* * *

THAT AFTERNOON…

"Please wait here," Elsa said when she and Anna were almost to the ice palace. Elsa had remembered that her ice palace was probably still a mess from the attack that ended with the chandelier dropping on her; and she wasn't quite ready to talk about that with Anna yet. Not to mention, Elsa didn't want Anna's first impression to be the damaged version of the ice palace. She would fix it first, and _then_ invite Anna in.

Anna quickly obliged, and Elsa ran ahead to the ice palace. Elsa frowned when she saw the half-destroyed railing on the staircase. _How did that happen?_ She stuck out one hand and immediately the staircase was restored to its original state. Elsa ran up the staircase into the palace and backed against the door when Marshmallow bellowed at her. "Um…Marshmallow, please…it's me, Elsa!" she blurted, hoping the big snow creature would recognize her.

"ELSA'S BACK!" Marshmallow rumbled happily.

Elsa didn't notice the crown perched on Marshmallow's head; she was too relieved that Marshmallow had recognized her she wasn't paying attention.

"ONE MINUTE. BE RIGHT BACK," Marshmallow said. For some reason, he knew Elsa would want the sparkly gold thing back, but he didn't want to give it up. So he went and hid the crown and came back.

"Marshmallow, have you s-seen my crown?" Elsa asked, completely oblivious to what her snow creature had just done.

Marshmallow paused for a moment, then said, "NO."

Elsa gave him a quizzical look, somehow knowing that he was fibbing. After all, she had made Marshmallow, so she had a small idea of what was going on in his head; although she could not "make" him listen to her, aside from her original reasoning for making him in the first place. "I'm going to go f-fix the mess upstairs," Elsa told Marshmallow.

"MARSHMALLOW CLEANED MESS UP. WHY DID BAD PEOPLE ATTACK ELSA'S FORTRESS?" Marshmallow asked. "MARSHMALLOW SORRY. FAILED TO KEEP ELSA SAFE. MARSHMALLOW CAME BACK AND ELSA MISSING! BAD PEOPLE HURTED HER!"

Elsa dropped her gaze to the floor. _Marshmallow is upset he tried to keep me safe and failed…I know what that's like…_ "It's okay. You did y-your best, and that's the i-important thing," Elsa said firmly.

Marshmallow picked Elsa up and just stared at her. "IS ELSA HURT ANYWHERE?"

* * *

Elsa found herself dangling upside down high in the air and inexplicably started giggling. "I'm not hurt! I'm fine! Please put me down!" she exclaimed. _I should be terrified, but I'm not. This is kind of…funny. Actually, no…it's _really_ funny!_ Elsa suddenly gasped for breath when Marshmallow hugged her against his snowy body. "What…are…you…doing…Marshmallow?!"

"GO AWAY!" Marshmallow growled. "MARSHMALLOW KEEP ELSA SAFE! NO ONE COME IN ELSA'S CASTLE!"

Elsa struggled to wiggle out of Marshmallow's grip and tumbled to the floor, landing in a pile of snow. "Marshmallow, stop it! That's my sister!" Elsa shouted.

Marshmallow looked puzzled. "THAT GIRL CAN COME IN?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Her name is Anna," Elsa said quickly.

"ELSA SAY ANNA CAN COME IN. DO NOT HURT ELSA," Marshmallow ordered. "OR ELSE."

Elsa shook her head. _Marshmallow, Anna's fine. She's not going to hurt me. I know she won't. _"Anna, I'm sorry…Marshmallow is a bit…overprotective, I think," she apologized.

"You think?! Elsa, can't you get rid of him? He's creepy," Anna whispered.

"No, Anna! Marshmallow has his own m-mind, just like Olaf," Elsa replied firmly. _I'd feel like I was…killing him…and he also was the one who tried to comfort me after Anna told me about freezing Arendelle and stuff… _She noticed Marshmallow looking rather upset (and still a bit mad at Anna) and added, "You two _will_ accept each other. You both accept _me_, a-and I'm…sort of weird. Different, whatever you w-want to call it. So please m-make up and be friends w-with each other, too."

Anna and Marshmallow glared at each other for a long minute before they both said, "Truce, for Elsa's sake," at the same time.

"Thank you, you two." Elsa sighed in relief and ran up to the second floor. "Wait there and I'll call you in a minute, okay Anna?" _I didn't stutter when I said that! I'm getting a little bit better…_

* * *

Glancing over the room with the snowflake floor upstairs, Elsa realized that Marshmallow had indeed cleaned up all of the mess from the fallen chandelier and broken balcony, but only Elsa herself could actually replace those things. Elsa closed her eyes and willed everything back as it was when she first built this place. A sparkling blue glow filled the room, and ice swirled through the air, replacing the damaged ceiling fixture, the missing balcony doors, and the balcony railing. _There. Everything is fixed for Anna now._ Elsa's gaze flitted up to the ice chandelier based off the fractal design of her signature snowflake. _I did it. You can't beat me, fear. You can't beat me, everyone who still doesn't like me. You can't beat me, inner things from the past that still hurt._

_ I am the Snow Queen. And I have my baby sister back._

* * *

"Anna!" Elsa called. "I'm ready!"

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back, happily watching Anna take in the sparkling icy surroundings. Anna pointed up at the ice chandelier and said, "Elsa, that is AWESOME! It's, like, a super complicated version of your snowflake!"

Elsa nodded vigorously, her blue eyes sparkling with excitement. _Anna's in my ice palace, and we're here TOGETHER! Just like my dream…_

"Elsa, do you want to sing together?" Anna asked. "A happy song this time?"

Elsa ran and hugged Anna as tightly as she could. "Absolutely! Thank you so much…" _That's a terrific idea, Anna._

"You don't have to keep your distance anymore…'Cause for the first time in forever, I finally understand…for the first time in forever, we have fixed this hand in hand…" Anna started.

"We can spend time on this mountain together…I don't have to live in fear…" Elsa paused, not knowing what to sing next. _I don't stutter when I sing? That's…nice?_

"'Cause for the first time in forever, I will be right here," Anna continued.

Elsa smiled. Somehow that exact same line had a far different effect for her this time. _Except…Anna's always been there for me. Right outside my door._ "Anna…let's go back home…our life awaits…Let's enjoy the sun and open up the gates…"

"Yeah, but…" Anna started to say. _Not right this second. I like your ice palace, Elsa._

"I know…you mean well…please don't leave me be…" Elsa's gaze dropped to the floor before she risked a shy glance up at her sister. "I'm not alone, we're together and I'm finally free…" _That didn't quite fit the original melody, but oh well…_ "Please don't stay away and I'll try to keep you safe with me…" She paused for a moment before saying, "I don't want t-to say the next part, so I'm s-skipping some, okay?"

Anna nodded. "Sure, that's completely fine." _Elsa probably can't even remember part of what we were saying then…_

"I'm such a fool; I _can_ be free! There _is_ escape from the storm inside of me! My powers are not a curse!" Elsa sang as she stepped out on the balcony. She couldn't remember any of what Anna had been trying to tell her before, but she remembered the words she'd sung herself _exactly_. Elsa also remembered that horrible feeling that she was about to explode…that awful storm inside of her. _Did I have some kind of panic attack? That would explain why I don't remember my mind registering anything Anna tried to tell me then…anyway, it doesn't matter. That's the past, not the present. Everything's fine now._

* * *

Anna jumped in and said without singing, "You're right, Elsa. Did you know you are awesome? I love how you took those…horrid things you said about yourself before and made them something nice." She ran out on the balcony and hugged Elsa close. "And your ice palace is amazing."

Elsa smiled and suddenly decided she did not need to finish the rest of that song to help mend the bit of her that still needed to heal from all that pain inside. She would be fine. She would _always_ be fine, because she had Anna back, and Anna loved and accepted her just the way she was. _I'm perfectly happy right now. I don't need to dig that…incident up again. I'm here at my ice palace with my baby sister. My dream is complete. Absolutely, totally complete._

"Elsa, there's just one thing I haven't asked you yet," Anna said a moment later. She pulled away from Elsa and just held her hands tightly.

Elsa looked at her expectantly, almost a hundred percent sure what her sister was going to ask her. _I just know it; I just know it!_

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

Even though Elsa had been _positive_ that was what Anna was going to say, happy tears pricked at her eyes as she immediately blurted for the first time since she was eight, "Yes! Yes, I do!" _I've wanted to answer that question so many times since then and say 'yes'….and I JUST DID! I actually did it finally. _"Anna, you don't know how many t-times I wanted to say that _so much_ from inside m-my room…"

Anna frowned. "That means I was unknowingly hurting you inside every time I asked you that! I'm sorry, Elsa…really, really sorry!"

"_No_, Anna, you're wrong," Elsa said firmly. "Don't apologize. Yes, it did hurt me inside every t-time you asked me that, but i-it still made me happy that y-you hadn't abandoned me. I had _nothing_ that m-made me happy except you for all that time. So _don't_ apologize." _Anna's trying to apologize for being my one source of sunshine for all that time…?_

"But Elsa…you were already traumatized from that accident and whatever that picture-thing was you told me the trolls showed you, and silly me just rubbed in the one thing that you were trying to fix…you were trying all that time to control your powers and I went and talked about SNOW all the time! That was mean!"

"You didn't even know what m-my problem was, and you were f-five, Anna. _Five._ Yes, I may h-have been 'traumatized', as you put it, I don't know; but it was definitely n-not your fault." Elsa gave Anna a reassuring smile. _I am NOT letting Anna blame herself for something that was genuinely one of the few good things about all those years._

"_May_ have been traumatized?! You tried to commit suicide when you were eighteen, Elsa! You were _definitely_ traumatized. I'm just so glad I have you back now…and I can help you feel better and stuff." Anna hugged Elsa close again. "And I'm glad you're so much happier now."

"That depressed girl isn't me anymore," Elsa told her sister. "I'll not be labeled 'traumatized' just because I still hurt inside s-sometimes. I'm _fine._ I have my little s-sister back, and I can c-control my powers. At least mostly. That's enough for me. That's all I need." _And I'm glad I'm so much happier now, too._

"Well then…how about building that snowman?" Anna asked, realizing Elsa did not want to talk about this anymore. _She's genuinely happy, and so she's done talking. Fair enough._

"I'd love to!"

* * *

Elsa excitedly pulled Anna back inside into the room with the snowflake-engraved floor. "Ready?" she asked happily.

"Do the magic!" Anna shouted. "Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to shout...yeah, oops."

Elsa giggled and began twirling a snowball in her hands, exactly as she had done at age eight. _This is just like that fateful day all those years ago, except this time everything is going to be perfect. I'm so happy I can hardly stand it!_

_ The past is in the past._

_ My dream of being here and playing with my powers safely with Anna is complete._

"I love you, Anna…Thank you." Elsa tossed her snowball in the air, and it exploded into thousands of snowflakes that floated down around both of them.

Elsa hugged her little sister close, absolutely, purely contented and happy.

_ I have my baby sister back._

_ I can control my powers._

_ I am Snow Queen Elsa of Arendelle._

**THE END.**

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, especially to those who left constructive criticism as well. That is always helpful to me.:)**

**This is my first multi-chapter story that's actually complete-YAY!:) I never thought 'Secret Passages' would get this long, lol.:P**

**I originally started this story to write Frozen's story from _Elsa's_ POV. What did she do in her room for all that time? All we know from the movie is she was scared and unsuccessfully trying to control her powers. I know Frozen was meant to be Anna's story, not Elsa's, but I really wish Elsa had gotten more screen time. We never see her outside of either of her 'extreme' personas; either she's declaring her freedom as the Snow Queen on the North Mountain or she's terrified. Anyway...I don't think I did Elsa's amazing character justice, but I hope I've filled in _some_ of the rest of her story anyways.:)**

* * *

**P.S. Annnddd...SEQUEL INFO! Here's the title: 'The Coming Storm'. You guys can interpret that however you wish at the moment since I don't have a good summary yet, although I have the main plotline all set up.:) It's coming soon.;)**

**This is MantaI-305Apollo's Chariot signing off, over and out!:)**


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